Essays About Losing a Loved One: Top 5 Examples
Writing essays about losing a loved one can be challenging; discover our helpful guide with essay examples and writing prompts to help you begin writing.
One of the most basic facts of life is that it is unpredictable. Nothing on this earth is permanent, and any one of us can pass away in the blink of an eye. But unfortunately, they leave behind many family members and friends who will miss them very much whenever someone dies.
The most devastating news can ruin our best days, affecting us negatively for the next few months and years. When we lose a loved one, we also lose a part of ourselves. Even if the loss can make you feel hopeless at times, finding ways to cope healthily, distract yourself, and move on while still honoring and remembering the deceased is essential.
5 Top Essay Examples
1. losing a loved one by louis barker, 2. personal reflections on coping and loss by adrian furnham , 3. losing my mom helped me become a better parent by trish mann, 4. reflection – dealing with grief and loss by joe joyce.
- 5. Will We Always Hurt on The Anniversary of Losing a Loved One? by Anne Peterson
1. Is Resilience Glorified in Society?
2. how to cope with a loss, 3. reflection on losing a loved one, 4. the stages of grief, 5. the circle of life, 6. how different cultures commemorate losing a loved one.
“I managed to keep my cool until I realized why I was seeing these familiar faces. Once the service started I managed to keep my emotions in tack until I saw my grandmother break down. I could not even look up at her because I thought about how I would feel in the same situation. Your life can change drastically at any moment. Do not take life or the people that you love for granted, you are only here once.”
Barker reflects on how he found out his uncle had passed away. The writer describes the events leading up to the discovery, contrasting the relaxed, cheerful mood and setting that enveloped the house with the feelings of shock, dread, and devastation that he and his family felt once they heard. He also recalls his family members’ different emotions and mannerisms at the memorial service and funeral.
“Most people like to believe that they live in a just, orderly and stable world where good wins out in the end. But what if things really are random? Counselors and therapists talk about the grief process and grief stages. Given that nearly all of us have experienced major loss and observed it in others, might one expect that people would be relatively sophisticated in helping the grieving?”
Furnham, a psychologist, discusses the stages of grief and proposes six different responses to finding out about one’s loss or suffering: avoidance, brief encounters, miracle cures, real listeners, practical help, and “giving no quarter.” He discusses this in the context of his wife’s breast cancer diagnosis, after which many people displayed these responses. Finally, Furnham mentions the irony that although we have all experienced and observed losing a loved one, no one can help others grieve perfectly.
“When I look in the mirror, I see my mom looking back at me from coffee-colored eyes under the oh-so-familiar crease of her eyelid. She is still here in me. Death does not take what we do not relinquish. I have no doubt she is sitting beside me when I am at my lowest telling me, ‘You can do this. You got this. I believe in you.’”
In Mann’s essay, she tries to see the bright side of her loss; despite the anguish she experienced due to her mother’s passing. Expectedly, she was incredibly depressed and had difficulty accepting that her mom was gone. But, on the other hand, she began to channel her mom into parenting her children, evoking the happy memories they once shared. She is also amused to see the parallels between her and her kids with her and her mother growing up.
“Now I understood that these feelings must be allowed expression for as long as a person needs. I realized that the “don’t cry” I had spoken on many occasions in the past was not of much help to grieving persons, and that when I had used those words I had been expressing more my own discomfort with feelings of grief and loss than paying attention to the need of mourners to express them.”
Joyce, a priest, writes about the time he witnessed the passing of his cousin on his deathbed. Having experienced this loss right as it happened, he was understandably shaken and realized that all his preachings of “don’t cry” were unrealistic. He compares this instance to a funeral he attended in Pakistan, recalling the importance of letting grief take its course while not allowing it to consume you.
5. Will We Always Hurt on The Anniversary of Losing a Loved One? by Anne Peterson
“Death. It’s certain. And we can’t do anything about that. In fact, we are not in control of many of the difficult circumstances of our lives, but we are responsible for how we respond to them. And I choose to honor their memory.”
Peterson discusses how she feels when she has to commemorate the anniversary of losing a loved one. She recalls the tragic deaths of her sister, two brothers, and granddaughter and describes her guilt and anger. Finally, she prays to God, asking him to help her; because of a combination of prayer and self-reflection, she can look back on these times with peace and hope that they will reunite one day.
6 Thought-Provoking Writing Prompts on Essays About Losing A Loved One
Society tends to praise those who show resilience and strength, especially in times of struggle, such as losing a loved one. However, praising a person’s resilience can prevent them from feeling the pain of loss and grief. This essay explores how glorifying resilience can prevent a person from healing from painful events. Be sure to include examples of this issue in society and your own experiences, if applicable.
Loss is always tricky, especially involving someone close to your heart. Reflect on your personal experiences and how you overcame your grief for an effective essay. Create an essay to guide readers on how to cope with loss. If you can’t pull ideas from your own experiences, research and read other people’s experiences with overcoming loss in life.
If you have experienced losing a loved one, use this essay to describe how it made you feel. Discuss how you reacted to this loss and how it has impacted who you are today. Writing an essay like this may be sensitive for many. If you don’t feel comfortable with this topic, you can write about and analyze the loss of a loved one in a book, movie, or TV show you have seen.
When we lose a loved one, grief is expected. There are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Discuss each one and how they all connect. You can write a compelling essay by including examples of how the different stages are manifested in books, television, and maybe even your own experiences.
Death is often regarded as a part of a so-called “circle of life,” most famously shown through the film, The Lion King . In summary, it explains that life goes on and always ends with death. For an intriguing essay topic, reflect on this phrase and discuss what it means to you in the context of losing a loved one. For example, perhaps keeping this in mind can help you cope with the loss.
Different cultures have different traditions, affected by geography, religion, and history. Funerals are no exception to this; in your essay, research how different cultures honor their deceased and compare and contrast them. No matter how different they may seem, try finding one or two similarities between your chosen traditions.
If you’d like to learn more, our writer explains how to write an argumentative essay in this guide.For help picking your next essay topic, check out our 20 engaging essay topics about family .
Martin is an avid writer specializing in editing and proofreading. He also enjoys literary analysis and writing about food and travel.
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37 Ways To Write About Grief
In this post, we have included 37 things for you to consider when you write about grief .
One of our most popular series of posts on Writers Write is ‘ways to write about different emotions’. We’ve written about these so far:
- 37 Ways To Write About Anger
- 32 Ways To Write About Fear
- 43 Ways To Write About Love
- 29 Ways To Write About Happiness
- 40 Ways To Write About Empathy
In today’s post, we look at ways to write about grief.
This is not necessarily a post about grief as a story, but about how the emotion of grief affects the characters and the plotting of a book.
How do we write about grief in an authentic way?
A) What Is Grief?
Grief is an intense sorrow, a feeling of deep and poignant distress, which is usually caused by someone’s death (including a pet’s). Grief can also be felt with the ending of a relationship, or the death of a dream or an idea around which a life has been built. It can be felt with the diagnosis of a terminal illness. It is an intense emotion and the pain can seem unbearable.
Words associated with grief include:
Use these words when you’re describing a grieving person.
People often describe grief as a process . There are generally five stages associated with grief:
These are based on On Death and Dying , the 1969 book by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. Some people may experience them in this order, but they can occur in any sequence and you can revisit the stages at any time. Some people skip a stage and others can experience more than one at the same time. The length of grieving depends on the person. It may take weeks or months or years.
People have also added ‘shock’ and ‘guilt’ to these stages.
B) Body Language
In your body language, signs of loss are important. You can:
- Curl into a foetal position.
- Cover your face with hands or a pillow or blanket.
- Stare unseeingly.
- Sob uncontrollably.
- Find it hard to swallow.
- Wrap your arms around yourself.
- Scratch your hands and arms.
- Push people away.
C) Ways To Create Conflict With Grief
- The loss of a loved one can spur your main character into action. Love interests in fiction are the most common way to create internal and external conflict. A love interest does not have to be a romantic love interest. ‘It can be a friend, a pet, or a family member.’ ( source ) The loss of this loved one could create a need for revenge or simply for healing.
- The emotion of grief could cause the character to lose their job, or resign from it.
- The emotion of grief could change other important relationships that were dependant on the person who has died.
D) The Importance Of Grief In Plotting
Grief is a powerful and debilitating emotion. Only use it if it serves your plot.
- If you want to write a book about grief, this will obviously be your main plot. You will show the pain and despair of your main character and how they find their way back to life again. A good way to do this is with the use of a motif that is derived from a hobby or an occupation. The grieving person could be building a boat, or breeding a rare species of birds – anything that gives them a tangible story goal. They must do something – or the book would be boring.
- If you want to use it as a sub-plot, the death of the love interest is the one to choose. The love interest is the most useful and the most common of all sub-plots .
- Use their loss to show us more about them.
- Use the loss and their grief to move the story forward. This works in a detective story where the main character vows revenge for their loss – or simply becomes more determined to make things that are wrong, right.
E) Exercises For Writing About Grief
- Write about the moment your protagonist is told about someone they love dying. Use body language, dialogue, and the senses if you can.
- Write about the moment your antagonist is told about someone they love dying. Use body language, dialogue, and the senses if you can.
- Show how a grieving person is unable to stick to their daily routine. Let them wake up to the loss and then show how they go about trying to get ready for the day.
- Show a moment where a grieving person is pulled out of the well of despair by something that happens that gives them a story goal .
- Write 12 diary entries on the first day of each month after the character has lost their loved one. Show how they change over the year.
Top Tip : Use our Character Creation Kit to create great characters for your stories.
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5 moving, beautiful essays about death and dying
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It is never easy to contemplate the end-of-life, whether its own our experience or that of a loved one.
This has made a recent swath of beautiful essays a surprise. In different publications over the past few weeks, I've stumbled upon writers who were contemplating final days. These are, no doubt, hard stories to read. I had to take breaks as I read about Paul Kalanithi's experience facing metastatic lung cancer while parenting a toddler, and was devastated as I followed Liz Lopatto's contemplations on how to give her ailing cat the best death possible. But I also learned so much from reading these essays, too, about what it means to have a good death versus a difficult end from those forced to grapple with the issue. These are four stories that have stood out to me recently, alongside one essay from a few years ago that sticks with me today.
My Own Life | Oliver Sacks
As recently as last month, popular author and neurologist Oliver Sacks was in great health, even swimming a mile every day. Then, everything changed: the 81-year-old was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer. In a beautiful op-ed , published in late February in the New York Times, he describes his state of mind and how he'll face his final moments. What I liked about this essay is how Sacks describes how his world view shifts as he sees his time on earth getting shorter, and how he thinks about the value of his time.
Before I go | Paul Kalanithi
Kalanthi began noticing symptoms — "weight loss, fevers, night sweats, unremitting back pain, cough" — during his sixth year of residency as a neurologist at Stanford. A CT scan revealed metastatic lung cancer. Kalanthi writes about his daughter, Cady and how he "probably won't live long enough for her to have a memory of me." Much of his essay focuses on an interesting discussion of time, how it's become a double-edged sword. Each day, he sees his daughter grow older, a joy. But every day is also one that brings him closer to his likely death from cancer.
As I lay dying | Laurie Becklund
Becklund's essay was published posthumonously after her death on February 8 of this year. One of the unique issues she grapples with is how to discuss her terminal diagnosis with others and the challenge of not becoming defined by a disease. "Who would ever sign another book contract with a dying woman?" she writes. "Or remember Laurie Becklund, valedictorian, Fulbright scholar, former Times staff writer who exposed the Salvadoran death squads and helped The Times win a Pulitzer Prize for coverage of the 1992 L.A. riots? More important, and more honest, who would ever again look at me just as Laurie?"
Everything I know about a good death I learned from my cat | Liz Lopatto
Dorothy Parker was Lopatto's cat, a stray adopted from a local vet. And Dorothy Parker, known mostly as Dottie, died peacefully when she passed away earlier this month. Lopatto's essay is, in part, about what she learned about end-of-life care for humans from her cat. But perhaps more than that, it's also about the limitations of how much her experience caring for a pet can transfer to caring for another person.
Yes, Lopatto's essay is about a cat rather than a human being. No, it does not make it any easier to read. She describes in searing detail about the experience of caring for another being at the end of life. "Dottie used to weigh almost 20 pounds; she now weighs six," Lopatto writes. "My vet is right about Dottie being close to death, that it’s probably a matter of weeks rather than months."
Letting Go | Atul Gawande
"Letting Go" is a beautiful, difficult true story of death. You know from the very first sentence — "Sara Thomas Monopoli was pregnant with her first child when her doctors learned that she was going to die" — that it is going to be tragic. This story has long been one of my favorite pieces of health care journalism because it grapples so starkly with the difficult realities of end-of-life care.
In the story, Monopoli is diagnosed with stage four lung cancer, a surprise for a non-smoking young woman. It's a devastating death sentence: doctors know that lung cancer that advanced is terminal. Gawande knew this too — Monpoli was his patient. But actually discussing this fact with a young patient with a newborn baby seemed impossible.
"Having any sort of discussion where you begin to say, 'look you probably only have a few months to live. How do we make the best of that time without giving up on the options that you have?' That was a conversation I wasn't ready to have," Gawande recounts of the case in a new Frontline documentary .
What's tragic about Monopoli's case was, of course, her death at an early age, in her 30s. But the tragedy that Gawande hones in on — the type of tragedy we talk about much less — is how terribly Monopoli's last days played out.
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Blog > Common App , Essay Advice > Should You Write Your College Essay About Losing a Loved One?
Should You Write Your College Essay About Losing a Loved One?
Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University
Written by Alex McNeil, MA Admissions Consultant
Key Takeaway
Losing a loved one, especially in high school, can upend how you view the world.
It’s only natural that you’d want to write your Common Application personal statement about it.
Writing about death is always difficult, and it is especially difficult in a college application essay. It can take twice the time and effort to craft a personal statement about so emotional a topic.
Since it’s a more challenging topic, you should be sure that writing about the death of a loved one is the right choice for you.
While some advice may say otherwise, writing about traumatic experiences does not increase your chances of admission, so don’t feel forced to write about the death of a loved one just because you think that’s what admissions offices want to see.
You should write about your loss if it’s the topic that will allow you to tell your most authentic story.
So before you begin writing, consider a few critical questions to determine whether (and how) you should write your college essay about losing a loved one.
Questions to ask yourself before writing your college essay about death
As much as admissions officers are humans who care about your wellbeing, they also have criteria with which they must evaluate your personal statement. While they will empathize with your grief, at the end of the day, your essay still needs to hold its own against thousands of others.
Sometimes essays about death can do just that, poignantly and with heart. But other times, students aren’t ready. And that’s okay too.
Ask yourself the following questions and think honestly about your answers.
1. Are you really ready to think, write, and revise critically?
Grief can muddle your ideas into incomprehensible gray blobs. Your heightened sensitivity may also make the critical revision process exhausting.
But your college essay still has to shine with clarity and coherence .
It’s important that you ask yourself if you’re ready to do the detailed writing and editing that is required of personal statements.
2. Can you find a respectful balance that allows you to center yourself?
Students most frequently make the mistake of writing essays that center the person who has passed rather than themselves.
While a tribute to your loved one is a beautiful thing, your college essay has a major job to do. It needs to tell admissions officers about you.
For whatever reason, if you can’t bring the focus to yourself, you might consider writing about another topic.
3. Will you be able to process before and while writing? And if it’s not that hard to process, should you consider a different topic?
Writing is a powerful way to process tragedy. The very act can help you heal and find new direction. But the process can be intimate, and you may not want to share the information with strangers.
Your college essay also requires you to go beyond reflection to craft a thoughtful and organized essay.
So be sure that you’ve reached a point in your journey where you feel comfortable working through and writing about difficult emotions.
Alternatively, some students write about losing people who they weren’t close to and whose deaths didn’t significantly impact them. They do this solely because they think that writing about trauma helps you get into college, but it doesn’t. If you find that writing about your loss does not actually have a profound effect on your emotions, then there is likely a different essay topic awaiting you.
4. What should you do if you’ve decided you’re not ready to write your college essay about losing a loved one but still want the admissions committee to know?
You could consider how your story fits into any supplemental essays you’re writing. Or you can use the Common Application “Additional Information” section. Feel free to include whatever context you are comfortable sharing. This section can be a simple explanation and does not need to follow a specific format.
How you can write a college essay about losing a loved one
If you’ve decided that writing your college essay about losing a loved one is the right choice for you, then we have a few tips.
1. Determine what this topic should reveal about you to the admissions committee.
Begin your writing process by asking yourself what you want the admissions committee to learn about you from this story of loss.
2. Pinpoint specific examples, details, memories, or vignettes.
Root your narrative in specifics rather than generalities about you and your loved one to show, not tell your admissions officers why they were important to you.
3. End on a note of hope, resilience, or forward movement.
The reality is that even with a sad topic, you want your admissions officers to leave your essay thinking about you in a positive way so that they can picture you being an active member of their campus. Your personal statement should therefore conclude on some kind of hopeful or resilient note.
Be gracious about your limits. Write about your loss only if you feel ready and if you truly believe that it’s the story you need to tell admissions committees.
If you do choose to write your college essay about losing a loved one, then you should start early and leave plenty of extra time for writing and revision. What you’ve been through is surely difficult, so be gentle on yourself as you write and revise.
You can find more about writing your personal statement on our How to Write a College Essay post.
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Narrative Essay on Losing a Loved One
Losing a loved one is a profound experience that reshapes our lives in ways we never imagined. It’s a journey through grief that challenges our resilience, alters our perspectives, and ultimately teaches us about the depth of love and the impermanence of life. This narrative essay explores the emotional odyssey of losing a loved one, weaving through the stages of grief, the search for meaning, and the slow, often painful, journey towards healing.
The Unthinkable Reality
It was an ordinary Tuesday morning when the phone rang, shattering the normalcy of my life. The voice on the other end was calm yet distant, bearing the kind of news that instantly makes your heart sink. My beloved grandmother, who had been battling a long illness, had passed away in her sleep. Despite the inevitability of this moment, I was not prepared for the crushing weight of the reality that I would never see her again. The initial shock was numbing, a protective cloak that shielded me from the full impact of my loss.
The Onslaught of Grief
In the days that followed, grief washed over me in waves. At times, it was a quiet sadness that lingered in the background of my daily activities. At others, it was a torrential downpour of emotions, leaving me gasping for air. I struggled with the finality of death, replaying our last conversations, wishing for one more moment to express my love and gratitude. Anger, confusion, and disbelief intermingled, forming a tumultuous storm of feelings I could neither control nor understand.
The rituals of mourning—funeral arrangements, sympathy cards, and memorial services—offered a semblance of structure amidst the chaos. Yet, they also served as stark reminders of the gaping void left by my grandmother’s absence. Stories and memories shared by friends and family painted a rich tapestry of her life, highlighting the profound impact she had on those around her. Through tear-stained eyes, I began to see the extent of my loss, not just as a personal tragedy but as a collective one.
The Search for Meaning
As the initial shock subsided, my grief evolved into a quest for meaning. I sought solace in religion, philosophy, and the arts, searching for answers to the unanswerable questions of life and death. I learned that grief is a universal experience, a fundamental part of the human condition that transcends cultures, religions, and time periods. This realization brought a sense of connection to those who had walked this path before me, offering a glimmer of comfort in my darkest moments.
I also found meaning in honoring my grandmother’s legacy. She was a woman of incredible strength, kindness, and wisdom, who had touched the lives of many. By embodying her values and continuing her work, I could keep her spirit alive. Volunteering, pursuing passions that we shared, and passing on her stories to younger generations became ways to heal and to make sense of a world without her.
The Journey Towards Healing
Healing from the loss of a loved one is neither linear nor predictable. There were days when I felt overwhelmed by sadness, and others when I could smile at fond memories. I learned to accept that grief is not something to be “overcome” but rather integrated into my life. It has become a part of who I am, shaping my understanding of love, loss, and the preciousness of life.
Support from friends, family, and sometimes strangers, who shared their own stories of loss, played a crucial role in my healing process. Their empathy and understanding provided a safe space to express my feelings, to cry, to laugh, and to remember. Counseling and support groups offered additional perspectives and coping strategies, highlighting the importance of seeking help and connection in times of sorrow.
Reflections on Love and Loss
Through this journey, I have come to understand that the pain of loss is a testament to the depth of our love. Grieving deeply means we have loved deeply, and this is both the curse and the beauty of human connections. The scars of loss never truly fade, but they become bearable, interwoven with the love and memories we hold dear.
Losing a loved one is a transformative experience that teaches us about resilience, compassion, and the enduring power of love. It reminds us to cherish the time we have with those we love, to express our feelings openly, and to live fully in the present moment. While the absence of a loved one leaves an irreplaceable void, their influence continues to shape our lives in profound ways.
In closing, the journey through grief is uniquely personal, yet universally shared. It challenges us to find strength we didn’t know we had, to seek connection in our shared humanity, and to discover meaning in the face of loss. Though we may never “get over” the loss of a loved one, we learn to carry their legacy forward, finding solace in the love that never dies but transforms over time.
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Personal Grief and Loss Essay
Introduction.
The complicated nature of life explains why grieving is a necessary process. The loss of a beloved person can trigger numerous emotions such as guilt, anger, disbelief, and sadness. Coping with sudden death can result in a major challenge. It is agreeable that most of these reactions and emotional responses to loss are natural. That being the case, people should help one another throughout the mourning process in order to find new meaning and move on with life. Those who are in emotional pain should also be allowed to cry in order to support the healing process. The death of my favorite aunt affected me significantly. After the event, it took me five days to accept the fact that my aunt was gone. The purpose of this paper, therefore, is to give a personal experience of loss, grief, and mourning following my aunt’s untimely demise.
The most memorable loss occurred when I was 21 years of age. This was after the death of my maternal aunt. She was only 10 years older. Her untimely death occurred when I was in the United States. Our age gap explains why we used to be close to one another. We could do many things together and support each other. She was shot four times while in Colombia and died instantly.
Although it was hard to explain the circumstances that led to her death, forensic investigations revealed that she had been murdered by robbers for an unknown reason. The victim was a mother-figure to me. As an aunt, she guided, empowered, and encouraged me to pursue most of my dreams. This analysis shows that I was emotionally close to her.
After the loss, I experienced numerous emotional, spiritual, and psychological challenges. Such feelings occurred for several weeks after my aunt’s death. Several reasons can be presented to support this argument. The first one is that I was unable to pursue my goals. This development made it hard for me to meet the needs of my underage daughter. The second example is that I become stressed and troubled. This emotional response occurred after I received the news of her death. The third example is that I was unable to interact with other people. This means that my social competencies were affected greatly. After the death, it took me five days to accept the fact that she was gone. Throughout this period, I could dial her cell-phone number to confirm that she was not with us anymore. This was the case because I felt stressed and discontented with everything in life. The pain in my body was also unbearable.
I was unable to focus on my spiritual goals and mental status. However, I managed to cope with the loss after several months due to the support received from different family members. For instance, my husband was helpful throughout this troubling period. It should also be observed that my failure to attend her funeral might have affected my healing process. This is the reason why individuals who have lost their beloved ones should be advised, guided, and supported accordingly.
My mourning process affected the people around me in a number of ways. For instance, I was not able to support or raise up my young daughter. I was also unable to interact freely with my husband and relatives. I also found it hard to interact with my colleagues, relatives, and friends. The good news was that most of my family members were helpful during this emotional period. This was the case because they empowered me to deal with my grief and be in a position to pursue my aims. They were also keen to console and encourage me to remain strong. It is also worth noting that none of the persons around me was hurtful during the time.
The major rituals considered during the time of loss were prayers and fasting. These practices are known to support the mourning process (Burke & Neimeyer, 2014). I also began to smoke as a way of getting rid of stress. I used different links to feel connected to the deceased person. For instance, my grandmother managed to send my aunt’s graduation ring to me. I always wear the ring as a grim reminder of my beloved aunt. I also possess the clothes she was wearing at the time of the murder. I have never washed them and they are bloodstains.
Holdsworth (2015) asserts that human beings use various techniques to manage their lamentation processes. The first technique that can be used to describe my mourning process is that of writing (Eyetsemitan, 2017). It is evident that my aunt had written a letter to me. Due to the nature of her death, I had not responded to her letter. This is something that has been haunting me over the years. I also have many things in my heart that I was never given the opportunity to say to my aunt. For instance, I did not tell her how she was loved and missed. I have many photographs that remind me of our experiences together.
I strongly believed that a number of rituals can still help with the loss today. For instance, I would be happy to be given a chance to visit her grave. I would mourn and pray on her grave in order to complete my mourning process. Personally, I think that the intensity of my loss could not be sensationalized by the media. This is the reason why I decided to engage in smoking. These aspects show conclusively that my mourning process was complicated (Burke & Neimeyer, 2014). This argument can be supported by the fact that it is several years after the loss and I am yet to heal completely. I also experienced intense rumination, pain, and sorrow during the period. The decision to hold on to her belongings also explains why the process was complicated.
It is agreeable that this loss occurred at a time when I was not aware of the nature of suffering (Hordan & Litz, 2014). With more knowledge, I would have kept myself busy, interacted with more people, and read different materials to support the mourning process. I would have also attended her funeral in order to stop feeling guilty.
There are various complicated mourning issues that have kept me stuck in my mourning process. The first one is that it has taken me many years to be in a position to talk about my aunt. It has been hard for me to accept the fact that she is no longer around us. The second issue is that minor events or memories can trigger intense or painful reactions (Worden, 2008). Sometimes I can start to cry after remembering her.
This course has made it easier for me to learn a number of things about myself. The first observation is that the loss of a close relative or friend can affect me negatively. Such an occurrence can make it hard for me to achieve my goals or interact with others. The second lesson is that I can address most of my emotional and psychological challenges. This is the case because I managed to deal with this loss successfully. It is also clear that I have gained numerous ideas and concepts about mourning from this course. For instance, I have known that individuals should be guided and empowered throughout the period (Eyetsemitan, 2017). People should also be allowed to cry and mourn throughout their lamentation periods.
My discussion shows clearly that my aunt was like a sister to me and a big confidant who supported everything I was doing. This means that she was always close to me. Since she was young, we used to share ideas and live like sisters. Despite these feelings of pain and anguish, it should be observed that the mourning process empowered me to develop better concepts that can be used to support others. The ideas gained from this course can also meet the needs of persons who have lost their friends or relatives. My experience after the loss of my aunt echoes most of the challenges faced by many mourning persons. It is, therefore, necessary for those who are in grief to keep themselves busy and interact with others to prevent any suicidal thoughts. Mourners should also never be avoided. Consequently, these lessons will empower me to guide others in the future.
Burke, L. A., & Neimeyer, R. A. (2014). Spiritual distress in bereavement: Evolution of a research program. Religions, 5, 1087-1115. Web.
Eyetsemitan, F. (2017). Employee grief, workplace culture, and implications for worker productivity and psychopathology. Acta Psychopathologica, 3 (4), 1-3. Web.
Holdsworth, M. (2015). Bereaved carers’ accounts of the end of life and the role of care providers in a ‘good death’: A qualitative study. Palliative Medicine, 29 (9), 834-841.
Hordan, A. H., & Litz, B. T. (2014). Prolonged grief disorder: Diagnostic, assessment, and treatment considerations. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 45 (3), 180-187. Web.
Worden, J. W. (2008). Grief counseling and grief therapy: A handbook for the mental health practitioner (4th ed.). New York, NY: Springer Publishing.
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IvyPanda. (2021, May 14). Personal Grief and Loss. https://ivypanda.com/essays/personal-grief-and-loss/
"Personal Grief and Loss." IvyPanda , 14 May 2021, ivypanda.com/essays/personal-grief-and-loss/.
IvyPanda . (2021) 'Personal Grief and Loss'. 14 May.
IvyPanda . 2021. "Personal Grief and Loss." May 14, 2021. https://ivypanda.com/essays/personal-grief-and-loss/.
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College essay topic- losing a loved one Answered
Is it a good idea to write about losing a loved one. That event really impacted me, and changed me as a person. Should I write about it ? I feel confused about how to structure my essay
Earn karma by helping others:
Hi! This is a great question!
You can certainly write about losing a loved one and how it changed you. But I have to warn you about one thing. College essays are meant for you to reveal an aspect of you that the admission officers can't see from your academics. I am saying this because a lot of students will write an essay about losing a loved one but instead of reflecting on how it impacted them, they just end up writing a biography of the person itself. Colleges don't want a person's biography; they want to know more about you. So, in your essay, you can briefly talk about the death of the loved one but quickly transition into a reflection of how that event has changed you. Make sure to include specific feelings, thoughts, and anecdotes in your essay to make it come alive.
I am sorry for your loss and good luck with your essay!
Thank you for the sweet message. That's actually very thoughtful. Sometimes we get diverted from the main topic, I will keep that advice in mind
Your welcome!! I also want to say that colleges receive a lots of these types of essays about the death of a loved one. I want emphasize here again the importance of using personal stories, thoughts, etc to make this essay unique and personal to you. Avoid using general sentences and diction. Good luck!
Yes thank you, will keep that in mind. Are you in clg ?
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7 Memoirs About Losing a Loved One
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These books and memoirs about losing a loved one helped me to laugh and cry through my grief. I hope they will help you, too.
When my partner died of cancer, a fellow widower brought me a book that helped him through his acute grief. He offered it in the hopes that it might help me, and it did help. Very much.
It is important to note that every person grieves differently. While these books and memoirs about losing a loved one helped me, they may not help you or your loved one who is experiencing grief.
RELATED POST
10 Books to Change Your Life
I am listing these books in the chronological order of how I read them and providing a bit of context into my own grieving process. I hope this will help you choose which book to read and, most importantly, when to read it.
When “Option A” is not an option
The book that thoughtful widower handed to me was “ Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, And Finding Joy .” I read the book one month after my partner died while on a plane ride across the Atlantic. I was leaving one life and starting a new one.
In this book (which is only part memoir) Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, shares how she grieved after her husband died suddenly while on a family vacation.
A data person through and through, Sandberg teams up with psychologist and academic Adam Grant to share the stories of people who found joy again after experiencing grief, and to analyze the grief process itself.
The title of the book comes from a moment when Sandberg cried to a friend about wanting comfort from her husband. The friend replied, “Option A is not available. So let’s just kick the shit out of Option B.”
Read my post on finally accepting Option B and seeking joy
“Option B” helped me because, at the time, I needed permission to experience joy again. I also needed the validation that changing my life entirely was my way of finding some meaning in Jeff’s death. Option B gave me that permission and that validation.
A memoir about losing a loved one and examining the process of mourning
The process of grief was my focus for a while. So the next book I picked up was “ The Year of Magical Thinking ” by award-winning writer Joan Didion who relives the year after her husband’s sudden death. It’s a year in which she is also caring for a seriously ill daughter.
In the book, Didion attempts to make sense of the nonsensical. She is clinical in her examination of the mourning process, and that was fascinating for me as I prodded and poked at my own grief like a tongue exploring a chipped tooth.
A memoir about losing a loved one that will make you belly laugh
This book is purposefully irreverent because that is the way that author and comedian Laurie Kilmartin grieved. We all grieve differently, and the irreverence here might be uncomfortable for you.
But of all the memoirs about losing a loved one that I read, this one made me belly laugh when I needed it most.
In fact, as I read “ Dead People Suck: A Guide for Survivors of the Newly Departed ” two months after my partner died, the sound of my own laughter startled me. It had been that long since I had heard it. Also, there is dark humor surrounding death, and Kilmartin is simply brave enough to say it out loud.
She wisely notes, though, that while she can joke about her dead dad…nobody else can.
What to Say When Someone Dies
A memoir about losing a loved one from the perspective of the dying
I read “ When Breath Becomes Air ” while holed up in a tiny bungalow in northern Thailand. It was a remote place where I could meditate, read, and cry without interruption. It was eight months after Jeff’s death, and, for me, it was the perfect time to pick up this book written by a doctor dying of lung cancer.
A loving husband and brilliant neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi writes with heartbreaking honesty while his pragmatic, scientific brain wrestles with his hopeful heart. He brings us along as he and his wife choose to bring a child into a world that they know he may soon be departing.
This book gave me a look into how my partner may have felt as he looked around the room in those final days. As he assessed his life, did he consider it a life well lived?
I read this memoir about losing a loved one as I surfaced from my loss and started to reflect on my partner and his legacy. And it helped me make a decision about my own family plans – although I opted to take a different route than that of the Kalanithis.
“When Breath Becomes Air” was published posthumously with the moving ending written by the author’s wife and fellow doctor, Lucy Kalanithi.
A Memoir of living and dying
I was so moved by the perspective of facing death from the person doing the dying that I searched for a similar book.
The reviews of “ Bright Hour: A Memoir of Living and Dying ” read like a sequel of sorts to “When Breath Becomes Air,” and I found it to be another painfully honest account of extracting every bit of joy from a life that is limited by terminal illness.
This perspective is so honest because author Nina Riggs, like doctor Paul Kalanithi, doesn’t have time to sugarcoat her writing. She cannot hide from the truth. She is writing against time and with an urgent desire to explore the depths of herself before she dies.
In a seriously beautiful continuation of the conversation about life and death started by both Paul Kalanithi (“When Breath Becomes Air”) and Nina Riggs, the two memoirs brought their spouses together. For a time Lucy Kalanithi (widow of Paul) and John Duberstein (widower of Nina) were a couple weathering their grief together. Here are Duberstein’s thoughts on finding love after loss .
A Story About Finding Love After Loss
A memoir about friendship in the darkest of times
I wrote a post recently about how to comfort someone who has lost a loved one . In it, I wrote that there is only one single piece of universal advice to give here, and that is to show up for that person.
It may be the memoir “ My Glory Was I Had Such Friends ” by Amy Silverstein, that first gave me that idea. In “My Glory,” we witness what it means to show up in the most beautiful of ways. In fact, the fact that these friends show up in such a strong way may just be the reason why this book doesn’t cleanly fit into the category of memoirs about losing a loved one. Because this group of friends may just save Silverstein’s life.
The premise of this book is that of a family facing the possibility of death as Silverstein waits for a heart transplant that may never come. But the meat of this book is about friendship.
Silverstein’s friends rally around her, putting their own lives on hold and holding her up with single-minded sheer will.
I read this about a year and a half after my loss, and it helped me remember some of the support that I received when I needed it most. In doing so, I was forced to revisit memories that I avoided – changing feeding tubes or taking breaks from a hospital vigil for instance – but I was ready to see the beauty in those memories – something that I just couldn’t take in previously.
I’m lucky, like Silverstein, to have glorious friends, and I’m grateful to this book for reminding me of that.
A memoir about transformation
This memoir by Glennon Doyle does not fit cleanly into the category of memoirs about losing a loved one. Rather Untamed is about a woman allowing herself to be truly herself. Doyle writes about how she uncages herself from the expectations of society and of her readers and, in doing so, finds her soulmate.
I read this two years into my grieving process and two years after I left my own conventional life for a nontraditional nomadic life of travel . It spoke to me for many different reasons, but I especially liked how Doyle speaks of grief as a transformation.
I hope these books will help you if you are grieving, or if you are looking to give the gift of a book as a way to comfort your loved one who is experiencing grief.
Independent booksellers are hurting due to the pandemic and due to competition from behemoth online stores like Amazon. Please consider supporting local bookstores by using Bookshop, a B-Corp that gives away 75 percent of profits to independent stores, publications, authors, bloggers, and others in the book-loving community.
About the Author
Hi! I’m Jen!
I’m a freelance writer and travel blogger who quit my nine-to-five after my fiancé, Jeff, died of cancer at the age of 40. When he died, I realized that life is just too short to delay our dreams. Since my dream was to travel and write, I now travel and write full-time. Today I wear hiking boots instead of heels and collect experiences instead of things.
related posts
Resources on grieving beyond these memoirs about losing a loved one:, resources for grieving.
Grief Works : An app to guide you through your grief
Hot Young Widows Club : Stories of love & loss on Instagram; also a book
Modern Loss: Essays & resources to navigate life after death
Good Mourning Podcast : Authentic conversations about loss
Soaring Spirits : Peer-based support programs for widowed men & women
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What books have you read that helped you while grieving? Comment below!
Thank. Going through recommended book has help. I need these books. Thank you again.
You are most welcome!
Getting past your breakbup —- Susan J. Elliott How to heal your heart —- Louis Hay
Thank you! I will check them out!
One of the best and my favorite blog ever. Aala stuff and best quality.
Thank you so much, Mendy!
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- Books About Death
10 Touching Short Stories About Death, Grief & Loss
Updated 09/20/2023 Published 02/26/2022
Belinda McLeod, BA in Secondary Education
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Death often plays an important role in literature. After all, it’s a universal experience and a driving force behind many actions. No one escapes from it, and death represents that vast unknown frontier that we will all one day explore.
Jump ahead to these sections:
Short stories about the death of a friend, short stories about the death of a family member, short stories about the death of a partner or spouse, funny short stories about death, short stories about death and love.
Because of this, most prolific writers eventually examine death as a theme in their work. Here are some short stories about death, grief, and loss written by some of the world’s most famous writers.
Please understand that we will be spoiling the plots of these short stories. If you would rather approach the literature from a fresh point of view, avoid reading the descriptions.
We’ve scoured short story anthologies to look for short stories about death. Please understand that some of these stories may be painful to read if you recently lost a loved one. Just as watching movies about death might be difficult for you, reading some of these stories may be a distressing experience.
1. “The Death of Ivan Ilych” by Leo Tolstoy
“The Death of Ivan Ilych” examines what it means to live a good life and the inevitability of death. The short story/novella begins with the title character’s death and the reaction of his friends and family to it.
Then, the plot shifts to 30 years before Ivan’s death and tells the story of the young Ivan – a man with misplaced priorities. A freak accident while hanging up curtains causes Ivan to consider his mortality, and the thoughts of death terrify him. He finally understands that the relationships he formed during his life were artificial. He has an epiphany while on his deathbed, and “in the place of death there was light.” The character then exclaims, “So that’s what it is! . . . What joy!” as he dies with a sigh.
Tolstoy is said to have written this story soon after his conversion to Christianity. He also wrote War and Peace and Anna Karenina .
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2. “The Open Boat” by Stephen Crane
At the beginning of "The Open Boat," four survivors of a shipwreck are in a small dinghy in the middle of the sea. The small crew is in a precarious position because their boat can’t handle the rough waves, and they are forced to work non-stop to stay afloat.
While they have hopeful moments that rescue may be imminent, their struggle continues until they are finally forced into the cold water. Three of the four survive the ordeal.
The themes of this story are that nature is indifferent to the sufferings of man. However, our connections with others help us face the cruel, indifferent nature.
Stephen Crane’s best-known work is The Red Badge of Courage , a short novel that takes place during the American Civil War.
If you recently lost a family member, you may try to overlook the negative aspects of your relationships and the bad memories. However, some of these short stories on our list describe complicated relationships with those who died. Because of that, these stories aren’t for everyone.
3. “The Jilting of Granny Weatherall” by Katherine Ann Porter
Like other stories on our list, the central character in "The Jilting of Granny Weatherall" is lying on her deathbed in this story by Katherine Ann Porter. In between moments of confusion and clarity, Granny Weatherall reflects on her current situation as well as her past life. The reader learns that the central character had been jilted at the altar by a man named George, but she later marries and has children with John.
Although it isn’t clear if Granny uncovers any mysteries of life on her deathbed, the reader learns about the role of denial in Granny’s life. Instead of wallowing in despair about lost loves, difficult relationships, and her daughter’s death, she ignores these heartbreaking experiences and moves on with life.
4. “A Silver Dish” by Saul Bellow
Difficult familial relationships is one theme of "A Silver Dish." At the beginning of this story, the reader learns that Woody, a man in his 60s, has recently lost his father. He reflects on his history with his father and recalls an account when his dad stole a silver dish from Woody’s benefactor, who is paying his way through seminary. The crime forces Woody to leave school.
His reminiscences fast forward to his father’s deathbed when Woody prevents the old man from pulling the feeding tubes out of his arms.
Bellow was awarded the Pulitzer Prize and the Nobel Prize for Literature. One of his most famous books is The Adventures of Augie March .
View This Story in The New Yorker
If you are new to grief from the loss of a spouse , you are probably reeling from your loss. Most grief experts advise widows and widowers to avoid making major decisions until at least a year following their loved one’s death.
Here are some short stories that discuss the death of husbands and wives. We also included the memoir of Joyce Carol Oates on our list.
5. “The Knowers” by Helen Phillips
In "The Knowers," technology exists that allows people to find out the exact date they will die. A wife decides to find out, much to her husband’s chagrin.
As the couple grows old together, their relationship is enriched and strained by knowing the death date.
Phillips graduated from Yale and is an associate professor at Brooklyn College. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband and their children.
View This Story on Amazon Kindle
6. A Widow’s Story by Joyce Carol Oates
Please understand that this selection is a memoir instead of a short story. However, we decided to include it on our list because Oates is a highly praised short story writer, and A Widow's Story is her personal account of the loss of her husband of 46 years.
Some people struggle to find their purpose after the death of a spouse . If you face this dilemma, know that you are not alone.
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We apologize if you feel that this category is not appropriate. But, the fact is that people cope with death in different ways. So, here are some stories that present death in a somewhat lighthearted or ironic manner. Of course, our list of funny short stories begins with a little-known piece by Mark Twain.
7. “Is He Dead?” by Mark Twain
This play by Mark Twain was based on a short story the author wrote. In "Is He Dead?" , a French painter stages his death to increase the value of his paintings. He later dresses as a woman to keep his secret from the public.
Mark Twain is a pseudonym for Samuel Clemens. Twain/Clemens wrote The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and numerous short stories such as the “The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County.”
8. “The Story of an Hour” by Kate Chopin
Please understand that this isn’t a typical heartbreaking story about losing a spouse. Instead, the main character in "The Story of an Hour" isn’t disappointed when she learns that her husband died in an accident. She reflects on her new freedom and hopes for a long life. However, at the end of the story, the widow sees her husband walk through the door. The woman dies of shock.
Kate Chopin wrote The Awakening , which has been described as a case study of 19th Century feminism.
Are you still trying to find that perfect story about death that describes your experience with loss and grief? We know that many of the stories on our list tell exaggerated accounts and over-the-top plots. Perhaps that’s why these stories are so popular and easy to find.
Here are a few more stories about death and love to consider.
9. “Wild Horses” by Rick Bass
In “Wild Horses,” Karen’s fiance drowns in the Mississippi River the day before their wedding. Karen blames the death on her fiance’s friend Sydney. Sydney, who breaks wild horses for a living, also feels guilt for witnessing the tragedy but failing to save his friend. Sydney attempts to “break” Karen from her grief while struggling with his own.
Rick Bass is a writer and an environmental activist. He has a Bachelor of Science in Geology with a focus in Wildlife from Utah State University.
10. “A Rose for Emily” by William Faulkner
The power of death is the theme for this rather macabre story by William Faulkner. In this "A Rose for Emily," a southern woman lives with her father, who refuses to let her marry anyone beneath her station. When the father dies, Emily refuses to give up his body for burial – insisting that her father wasn’t dead. She finally gives up her dad’s corpse for burial.
Later, a laborer comes into town and is seen spending time with Emily. Emily purchases gifts for the man, who neighbors assume will soon become her husband. However, the man disappears, and a strange smell emanates from the house.
Years later, Emily dies. The townspeople enter her home for services and break down a locked door. There, they discover the decayed corpse of the laborer who had gone missing. Near the corpse was a pillow with the indentation of a head and a long gray hair.
This story by Faulkner is a popular choice for high school and college reading lists. Faulkner also wrote The Sound and the Fury and As I Lay Dying .
What Does Your Favorite Author Have to Say About Death?
Since death is such a popular subject, consider looking at a list of works by your favorite authors to find a time when they broached the subject. You might also begin your search by finding quotes about death by your favorite writers.
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30 Books About Grief
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Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult parts of life. Coping with the loss can be challenging and causes many emotions to surface that one might not be typically used to. These books about grief open up honest discussions about loss and are of great help to those in the grieving process.
Notes on Grief by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
In the middle of the Coronavirus pandemic, as quarantine kept her family apart, writer Chimamanda Adichie lost her father suddenly due to kidney failure. In Notes on Grief , Adichie provides a captivating memoir filled with hope and love as she reflects upon the life of her father and her experience with grief. Her writing gives voice to the millions of people who suffered losses during the pandemic, showing how we are all connected by the experience of loss.
In Love: A memoir of Love and Loss by Amy Bloom
In this beautiful and unforgettable memoir, Amy Bloom shares the intimate moments and painful decisions following her husband Brian’s diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease and his subsequent decision to go to Dignitas, an organization that helps people end their lives with dignity and peace. The memoir provides a captivating portrait of love, support and grief as the couple faces the reality of Brian’s diagnosis and end of life.
The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O’Conner, PhD
In The Grieving Brain , Dr. O’Conner takes readers through the latest cutting-edge discoveries in neuroscience and breakthroughs in psychology to better understand what happens when we grieve and what we can do to ease the pain of loss.
Lost and Found by Kathryn Schulz
Kathryn Shulz reflects on love, loss, and the bigger picture in this heartwarming memoir that reflects on everything from personal relationships to global catastrophe. Shulz explores the various ways loss changes us, and how love and loss operate as two sides of the same coin.
Competitive Grieving by Nora Zelevansky
In this buzzing novel, Wren’s rising star best friend from childhood, Stewart, has passed and she wonders if she even really knew the so called extension of herself. This important and comedic book shows how hard it is to lament amidst love and life.
The Art of Losing It by Rosemary Keevil
When it comes to books about grief, a firsthand account is always helpful. This memoir recounts Rosemary Keevil’s experiences through an incredibly turbulent time in her life; when her brother and husband passed away from terminal illnesses in the same year, Rosemary was left with her two daughters and an addiction problem. The Art of Losing It details Rosemary’s navigation through her life as a grieving, single mother and the addiction she struggles with that lands her in rehab. This vulnerable look into her life provides a bit of solace for those that have recently undergone a loss, are coping with addiction problems, or both.
Splitting the Difference: A Heart-Shaped Memoir by Tré Miller Rodríguez
Tré Miller Rodríguez has experienced a lot of loss in her life. At age 18, she gave up her baby for adoption. The following year, her only sibling died in a car accident. When Tré was 34, her husband, Alberto, passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack. But Tré’s life took a shift when, at age 36, her daughter found her on Facebook. In an honest and inspiring narrative, Tre describes her shift from a dissatisfying widowed life, to one full of adventure as she travels to dream locations, releasing Alberto’s ashes into bodies of water and connecting with his past in his homeland of Cuba. Poignant and raw in every way, Splitting the Difference tells the story of a woman who finds an entirely new side of herself as she quits her job, reunites with her daughter, and comes to terms with the death of her late husband.
Late Migrations: A Natural History of Loss and Love by Margaret Renkl
Margaret Renkl writes a series of essays that reminisce on her childhood as well as her parents. She paints the portrait of her uniquely extravagant mother and stable father, along with the transition of her as their child into their caregiver. These enchanting excerpts taken from Renkl’s personal experiences bring light and laughter as she recalls moments in time with the people she loves. Late Migrations fills the grieving heart with light and love.
Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief by Joanne Cacciatore
In these fifty-two short chapters, Dr. Joanne Cacciatore paves the road to understanding grief and the emotional impacts on humans. She shares moving stories of overcoming grief from people she has helped in her practices over the years, along with her personal stories of loss. Bearing the Unbearable illuminates the grieving process and walks through the stages of the human experience. It is not only a necessity for those who have experienced loss, but for usage by therapists, educators and other professionals to help guide their clients.
A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
After the death of his wife, author C.S. Lewis wrote A Grief Observed as a means of surviving and keeping himself together. In an incredibly honest reflection on emotion and the pain that comes from loss, Lewis dives into his experiences in coping with this difficult period in his life and a new discovery of self that was once lost.
The Last Act of Love: The Story of my Brother and His Sister by Carly Rentzenbrink
Carly’s brother, Matty, was knocked unconscious by a car in the summer of 1990. From then on, Carly and her parents would face the most difficult decision of their lives. While comatose and on a heart monitor, Matty’s GCSE results came back as the highest in his school. In The Last Act of Love , Carly describes the painstaking results of the accident, its impact on the family, and the conclusion they had to come to for their loved one.
Do Death: For a Life Better Lived by Amanda Blainey
In this straightforward book about grief that transforms our relationships with death, social activist Amanda Blainey encourages open conversations about the topic in a destigmatizing perspective. Do Death rationalizes death’s natural inevitability and provides advice and guidance in accepting it.
Fifty Words for Rain: A Novel by Asha Lemmie
It was the 1940s in Kyoto, Japan, and young Nori’s mother left without saying little else other than, “Do not question. Do not fight. Do not resist.” From that point on, Nori was left at the mercy of her aristocrat grandparents who confined her to the attic and subjected her to painful skin-lightening treatments in an attempt to protect the royal pedigree. If you’re seeking strength and hope in a time of grief, you’ll surely find it in the story of young Nori and her faithful will to carry on.
Fifty Words for Rain was also included in our list of best Fall book club picks .
It’s OK That You’re Not OK by Megan Devine
“Grief is simply love in its most wild and painful form,” says Megan Devine. “It is a natural and sane response to loss.” Thus, is Megan’s approach to experiencing grief and how we treat others who are grieving. Readers will find spiritual wisdom, advice, practical guidance and more in this heartfelt and helpful guide through grief.
Readers will learn to give themselves grace throughout the process and toss away expectations about how grief should look.
Gone by Linda K. Olson
While young doctors Linda Olson and her husband, Dave Hodgens, were vacationing in Germany, a train hit their van, shattering their lives—and Linda’s body, taking her right arm and both of her legs. As a triple amputee, Linda learned to walk with prostheses and change diapers and insert IVs with one hand. Then, she finished her residency while pregnant and living on her own. Inspiring and deeply moving, Gone asks readers to find not only courage but also laughter in the unexpected challenges we all face.
Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy by Sheryl Sandberg
Sheryl Sandberg’s husband died suddenly, leaving Sheryl and her two young children devastated. When the first father-child activity arose, a friend said, “Option A is not available. So, let’s just kick the shit out of Option B,” stepping in as the father figure for the evening. It was that moment that sparked the idea of taking responsibility for one’s reaction to loss… to hardships… to adversity.
Sandberg’s book will offer strength to rise back up during the lowest of lows – a must-read for anyone facing hardship.
Check out these books about strong women>>
Opening to Grief: Finding Your Way from Loss to Peace by Claire B. Willis
Loss can take so many forms, and during the pandemic, nearly everyone has felt loss in one way or another. In this timely guide, and in the gentle, honest tone of a close friend, Willis invites readers to grieve fully, openly, and purposefully for those lost, while remembering to love ourselves and others along the way.
If you’re looking for something to soothe your soul during this uncertain time, look no further. Willis’ words are kind, comforting, and filled with hope.
Breaking Sad by Shelly Fisher & Jennifer Jones
Each person grieves, heals, and processes trials and tribulations differently. Here readers can explore everything from the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, and the loss of health, delving into personal experiences from people on the other side of all of our good intentions to share some insight regarding the questions we’re unable to ask: How do I help? Is it better to say nothing? Should I share what my experience was like? The pages of this book are lined with real stories and real feedback to those questions and more.
Grief Day By Day: Simple Practices and Daily Guidance for Living with Loss Paperback by Jan Warner
Grief comes in many shapes and forms, and this grief recovery handbook explores the different stages with 365 daily reflections, quotes, meditations, and 52 healing practices tied together with a weekly theme. When it comes to addressing the day-to-day emotions that accompany the grieving process, this guide will walk you through topics like loneliness, grief attacks, exhaustion, hope, love, and creating meaning.
I Wrote This For You, Me & Anyone Trying to F*cking Move On by Robert M. Drake
Maintaining a healthy relationship is not easy. It takes mutual hard work, patience, loyalty, respect, communication, forgiveness, and selflessness. But relationships are required to grow as a human being, and they are very important to your life and some of your best moments. This book helps you understand what to look out for, what to cling to and what to let go next time you fall in love.
You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
Louise L. Hay is an internationally known leader in the self-help field with her key message: “If we are willing to do the mental work, almost anything can be healed.” The author has a great deal of experience and firsthand information to share about healing, including how she cured herself after being diagnosed with cancer.
Everything Happens for a Reason And Other Lies I’ve Loved by Kate Bowler
At the height of her career, married happily, and with a newborn son, Kate Bowler was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. The prospect of her own mortality forces her to realize that she has been living with the idea that she can control the shape of her life—but no amount of positive thinking will shrink her tumors. What does it mean to die, she wonders, in a society that insists everything happens for a reason? Frank and funny, dark and wise, Everything Happens for a Reason tells her story, offering up her irreverent, hard-won observations on dying and the ways it has taught her to live.
The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W. James and Russell Friedman
Updated to commemorate its 20th anniversary, this is a ground-breaking classic resource about incomplete recover from grief that sheds light on how to take effective actions to work towards recovery and happiness. It details specific actions to work through grief in a healthy way, whether that’s grief from loss of relationships, love, faith, career, finances, health, and more.
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion chronicles her first year coping with the sudden loss of her husband, John Gregory Dunne. While not a self-help book, many bereavement experts recommend this memoir by one of America’s iconic writers as a powerful tool. The raw, electric honesty and passion that explores the intensely personal yet universal experience of grief (and marriage) will speak to anyone who has loved and lost a husband, wife, or child.
The Orphaned Adult: Understanding and Coping with Grief and Change After the Death of our Parents by Alexander Levy
This is a strong guide to understanding and coping with the grief and other emotions that come with the death of one or both parents. While losing your parents as an adult child is the natural order of things, if it’s suddenly, or after a prolonged illness, it’s often more difficult than you think it would be. It not only reveals the vulnerability of our own mortality, but sometimes shifts one back into child-like sorrow; a subtle change in the roles of the surviving family. This guide helps readers through the change of passage and offers reassuring wisdom.
Healing the Adult Sibling’s Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas After Your Brother or Sister Dies byAlan D. Wolfelt, PhD
Siblings are often called the ‘forgotten mourner’ because attention usually is placed on surviving parents, spouses, and children related to the deceased person. In this compassionate collection, readers can discover 100 practical ideas to help accept and process the passing of a sibling for their own self-healing.
Modern Loss: Candid Conversation About Grief by Rebecca Soffer
The death of a parent can throw a teenager into a disrupted and potentially isolated life because it is so far from the norm of most of his and her peers; this means it’s super important for the teen to feel connected to a community that is dealing with the same circumstances and emotions. This relatable irreverent book of personal essays written by young adults covers several grief and loss topics, pulling no punches. It touches on dealing with grief and redefining mourning in the age of social media, changing the dialogue around the messy experience of grief, with gorgeous illustrations and funny anecdotes. Accompanied by beautiful hand-drawn illustrations and witty “how to” cartoons, each contribution provides a unique perspective on loss as well as a remarkable life-affirming message.
A Parent’s Guide to Raising Grieving Children by Phyllis R. Silverman and Madelyn Kelly
Parenting a grief-stricken child — especially when a parent is also mourning — can be new territory for a lot of adults. By weaving her own story of loss with the stories of dozens of young people and their parents, the authors offer wise guidance geared toward all age groups on virtually every aspect of childhood loss, from living with someone who’s dying to preparing the funeral; from explaining death to a two year old to managing the moods of a grieving teenager; from dealing with people who don’t understand to learning how and where to get help from friends, therapists, and bereavement groups; from developing a new sense of self to continuing a relationship with the person who died. Throughout, the authors advocate an open, honest approach, suggesting that our instinctive desire to “protect” children from the reality of death may be more harmful than helpful.
I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye by Brooke Noel and Pamela D. Blair, PhD
Whether you’re helping someone through their grief, ranging from adults to children, or grieving the sudden loss of a loved one (or a pet), this book offers compassion and comfort from the first few weeks to the long-term emotional and physical effects. It also covers navigating difficult days like holidays, anniversaries and birthdays, and then reveals some of the myths of the grieving process and what really happens as you navigate through the pain. In addition, the I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye Companion Workbook offers a combination of self-exploration questions, visualization activities, and journaling to help readers through the grieving process.
How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies by Therese A Rando
Written by Dr. Therese Rando, a pioneer in the field of grief counseling and bereavement specialist, this guide walks readers through essential and often overlooked aspects of the process while remaining inclusive of all types of losses. It not only covers understanding and resolving your grief, but advice on how to talk to children about death, resolving unfinished business, taking care of yourself, accepting support from others, and planning funerals. An added bonus is a chapter about finding professional help and support groups. It offers solace and comfort for you to accept your loss and move into your new life without forgetting your treasured past.
The Other Side of Sadness by George A. Bonanno
In this book, renowned psychologist George A. Bonanno provides a new outlook on grief and proves that mourning is not a predictable process. The five stages of grief are well known but do not always apply to everyone in mourning. Bonanno argues that our innate emotions – like anger and denial, joy and relief – help us cope with loss, and that expecting the bereaved to behave in one specific way is not an accurate portrayal of grief. There is another side to the sadness, and it can lead to deeper interpersonal connections, a sense of meaning, and powerful resilience.
On Grief and Grieving by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s On Death and Dying was an incredibly important psychological study that brought hope to many people impacted by death. On Grief and Grieving now explores what comes after. This book applies the five stages of death to the grieving process and discusses sadness, hauntings, dreams, isolation, and healing. It provides inspirational and practical advice, using case studies and Kubler-Ross’s own experiences to show readers how grieving can help us live with loss.
Finding Meaning by David Kessler
In this important addition to grief literature, expert David Kessler explores the grieving process beyond the five stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Kessler introduces a sixth stage that can turn grief into something more peaceful: Finding meaning. In this work, he refers to his professional and personal experiences with grief, including how he learned to cope with the death of his twenty-one-year-old son. He demonstrates a way to remember those we have lost with love rather than pain, and a way to move forward while honoring them. This book is an inspirational guide to discovering the meaning of life (and death) after losing a loved one.
Healing After Loss by Martha Whitmore Hickman
Healing After Loss is a collection of daily meditations to help anyone experiencing the loss of a loved one. It shares the thoughts and experiences of several people who have lost someone important to them, and is written by someone who is very familiar with grief herself. A comforting companion, this book provides a sense of hope while teaching us how to take things day by day.
Traveling with Ghosts by Shannon Leone Fowler
In 2002, twenty-eight-year-old Shannon Fowler and her fiancé Sean were backpacking in Thailand when Sean was fatally stung by a box jellyfish. Within minutes, the love of Shannon’s life was gone and the plans she made for their future destroyed. Broken and lost, Shannon eventually decided to seek comfort in the thing that brought her and Sean together: Traveling. She visited Poland, Israel, Bosnia, Romania, and finally, Barcelona – where she and Sean met for the first time. And even though he wasn’t with her, Shannon could feel his presence in all these places. Traveling with Ghosts is a beautiful and honest memoir honoring those we have lost and the memories we carry with us.
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10 Memoirs About Grief
Rebecca Hussey
Rebecca holds a PhD in English and is a professor at Norwalk Community College in Connecticut. She teaches courses in composition, literature, and the arts. When she’s not reading or grading papers, she’s hanging out with her husband and son and/or riding her bike and/or buying books. She can't get enough of reading and writing about books, so she writes the bookish newsletter "Reading Indie," focusing on small press books and translations. Newsletter: Reading Indie Twitter: @ofbooksandbikes
View All posts by Rebecca Hussey
Why do people read sad books, especially memoirs about grief? It seems like such a strange pursuit, to immerse oneself in sadness and grief on purpose, to voluntarily feel bad for a while. But people read sad books all the time and clearly they have good reasons for doing so. It may be that they read them so they can understand their own experiences of grief and loss better, or it may be to contemplate the sorrow that is surely coming in the future. Or maybe it’s to understand an important part of the human experience, one that no person escapes.
It may also be the case that if you read widely, and if you aren’t purposely avoiding books about grief and loss, you’re necessarily going to come across them. I think that’s the case with me. It feels like I have read a lot of memoirs about grief, and I’ve wondered why I’ve read so many, since my life (knock on wood) has been relatively fortunate so far, and I haven’t made a project out of reading about death. But I do read a lot of memoirs, and there are a lot of memoirs that happen to be about loss. So it makes sense that I have read a lot of those books, simply because they are a large subset of a genre I’m drawn to.
It may also be the case that the experience of grief and loss inspires a particularly powerful depth and eloquence in writers, so that there are many great books on the subject. Maybe we read these books simply because many of them are very, very good.
Here are ten memoirs about grief that I have read in the last few years and particularly admired. Let me know of others you have found in the comments.
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Wave by Sonali Deraniyagala
This grief memoir is devastating. Deraniyagala lost her parents, her husband, and her two children in the 2004 tsunami in Sri Lanka. She barely escaped herself. She writes about the experience in a simple, straightforward, and powerful way, covering the tsunami itself and her suffering afterward, as well as looking back at her life before the wave.
The Long Goodbye by Meghan O’Rourke
O’Rourke lost her mother to cancer at the age of fifty-five, and this is the story of her mourning and also a contemplation of grief itself. It’s beautifully written and deeply thoughtful. O’Rourke is a poet as well as a memoirist, and you can sense it on every page.
The Light of the World by Elizabeth Alexander
This is a love story as well as a grief memoir. Alexander captures her deep love for her husband, alongside her grief at his sudden and unexpected loss. Alexander is also a poet, and this book somehow captures a sense of warmth and joy in the midst of wrenching sorrow.
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
Didion’s book may be the most famous on my list, and with good reason: it’s one of the most masterful memoirs about grief from one of our best writers. Didion tells the story of the death of her husband and the severe illness of her daughter. If you want more, you can turn to her follow-up, Blue Nights , another powerful memoir about suffering and loss.
The Body Undone: Living on After Great Pain by Christina Crosby
This book is a grief memoir of another type: Crosby mourns the loss of her own health and mobility after a terrible bicycle crash. The book is the story of that crash and also a meditation on identity, the body, and pain. It’s perhaps the most philosophical book on this list: read it if you want to spend some time in deep thought.
An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination by Elizabeth McCracken
In this memoir, McCracken describes the loss of her much-hoped-for child in her ninth month of pregnancy. It’s a wrenching story. In McCracken’s own words, “ This is the happiest story in the world with the saddest ending .”
H is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald
This book is about grief — Macdonald writes about the death of her father — and also about falconry. Macdonald brings these two seemingly unrelated subjects together with some of the most beautiful writing on nature you will ever find.
Men We Reaped by Jesmyn Ward
Ward tells the story of the deaths of five young men, friends and relatives, from her hometown of DeLisle, Mississippi. She connects those deaths to American culture at large, which has largely failed to value the lives of African Americans. Her memoir is both moving and a valuable portrait of the effects of racism.
The Guardians: An Elegy for a Friend by Sarah Manguso
This is the story of a friendship, one that ended when the friend in question, a man named Harris, committed suicide. Manguso’s writing is spare and the book is short, but it’s a powerful exploration of love and companionship.
Heaven’s Coast: A Memoir by Mark Doty
Doty’s memoir describes the loss of his partner Wally to AIDS, recounting their relationship, the discovery of Wally’s illness, his death, and the aftermath of Doty’s loss. Doty — like several others on this list — is an accomplished poet, and the writing here is enchantingly beautiful.
What memoirs about grief do you recommend reading? Find even more related book recommendations here .
IMAGES
COMMENTS
Furnham, a psychologist, discusses the stages of grief and proposes six different responses to finding out about one's loss or suffering: avoidance, brief encounters, miracle cures, real listeners, practical help, and "giving no quarter."
This article, which Susan Schneider Williams wrote after the death of her husband Robin Willians, covers many of the topics that numerous essays about the death of a loved one cover, such as coping with life when you no longer have support from someone who offered so much of it.
Grief is an intense sorrow, a feeling of deep and poignant distress, which is usually caused by someone's death (including a pet's). Grief can also be felt with the ending of a relationship, or the death of a dream or an idea around which a life has been built. It can be felt with the diagnosis of a terminal illness.
The Death of the Moth by Virginia Woolf. It was as if they were mindful of what had happened to the moth but in truth these creatures were simply taking a break. "Sylvia's Death" by Anne Sexton. The poem "Sylvia's Death" by Anne Sexton is devoted, as the title suggests, to the death of poet Sylvia Plath.
In 1969, Elisabeth Kubler-oss, a Swiss researcher, presented a list of five stages that individuals experience when dealing with death; and since then these principles have since been applied to loss and grief in general.
8 Image courtesy of Pixabay.com Grief We've all felt it; that rising, choking sense of despair, of crushing loss. We've all lived it; falling to the ground, blood draining from our faces, our throats tightening, our wellspring of tears erupting. But, how do we effectively write about it? On Monday, 26 March, at around 5:30pm, my dog "Jedi" died.
PAGES 3 WORDS 1007 Grieving Process Literature Search on Grieving Process Grief refers to a natural process that follows a loss (significantly) such as the loss of a loved one. Grief is accompanied by emotional, social, mental, spiritual, and physical fatigue due to the hopelessness and burns out secondary to the loss.
Dorothy Parker was Lopatto's cat, a stray adopted from a local vet. And Dorothy Parker, known mostly as Dottie, died peacefully when she passed away earlier this month. Lopatto's essay is, in part ...
Experiment with genre and form. Many people gravitate toward nonfiction or poetry to write about grief and losing a loved one. But fiction may be able to get at the heart of an issue the way other genres cannot. I have a friend with an ill sibling, who had written about her sibling's illness in nonfiction for years, but it was a fiction piece ...
Coping with the loss of a close friend or family member may be one of the hardest challenges that many of us face. When we lose a spouse, sibling or parent our grief can be particularly intense. Loss is understood as a natural part of life, but we can still be overcome by shock and confusion, leading to prolonged periods of sadness or depression.
1. Are you really ready to think, write, and revise critically? Grief can muddle your ideas into incomprehensible gray blobs. Your heightened sensitivity may also make the critical revision process exhausting. But your college essay still has to shine with clarity and coherence.
1045 Words 5 Pages Losing a Loved One Losing a loved one is like having the rug swept from under you. We make plans for the day, and do not think twice about how those plans can be taken away in the blink of an eye. I never thought much about it myself, until I was faced with the shock, and undeniable truth of my uncle's death.
Losing a loved one is a transformative experience that teaches us about resilience, compassion, and the enduring power of love. It reminds us to cherish the time we have with those we love, to express our feelings openly, and to live fully in the present moment. While the absence of a loved one leaves an irreplaceable void, their influence ...
The loss of a beloved person can trigger numerous emotions such as guilt, anger, disbelief, and sadness. Coping with sudden death can result in a major challenge. It is agreeable that most of these reactions and emotional responses to loss are natural. That being the case, people should help one another throughout the mourning process in order ...
Admissions Advice 4 @Sakshi_ 8 answers, 16 votes • 2 years ago • Admissions Advice College essay topic- losing a loved one Answered Is it a good idea to write about losing a loved one. That event really impacted me, and changed me as a person. Should I write about it ? I feel confused about how to structure my essay essay college 4 Follow
Very much. It is important to note that every person grieves differently. While these books and memoirs about losing a loved one helped me, they may not help you or your loved one who is experiencing grief. I am listing these books in the chronological order of how I read them and providing a bit of context into my own grieving process.
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Save your time! We can take care of your essay Proper editing and formatting Free revision, title page, and bibliography Flexible prices and money-back guarantee Place Order Write a letter/message to the person who passed away.
"The Death of Ivan Ilych" by Leo Tolstoy "The Death of Ivan Ilych" examines what it means to live a good life and the inevitability of death. The short story/novella begins with the title character's death and the reaction of his friends and family to it.
This is a natural and normal response to grief, and it is important to give yourself time to process and come to terms with the loss. Coping with the loss of a loved one is a deeply personal and individual process, and I found that there was no "right" way to grieve. Some days I felt overwhelming sadness, while other days I felt angry or numb.
Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult parts of life. Coping with the loss can be challenging and causes many emotions to surface that one might not be typically used to. ... This relatable irreverent book of personal essays written by young adults covers several grief and loss topics, pulling no punches. It touches on dealing with ...
1940 Words | 8 Pages Everyone had the same pain I had--losing a great person. Outside, the rain pattered lightly down as if it were my tears on my face. Like my grandmother's last few breaths, I huffed and puffed profusely at my grandmother's funeral; the clouds gathered.
The death of a loved one is a profound and transformative experience that touches the core of our humanity. It is a journey marked by grief, remembrance, and ultimately, healing. In this reflective essay, I will explore the complex emotions and lessons that accompany the loss of a loved one, the impact on personal growth, and the enduring bonds ...
The Body Undone: Living on After Great Pain by Christina Crosby. This book is a grief memoir of another type: Crosby mourns the loss of her own health and mobility after a terrible bicycle crash. The book is the story of that crash and also a meditation on identity, the body, and pain. It's perhaps the most philosophical book on this list ...
25 likes, 3 comments - booked.by.cin on February 11, 2024: ". . . [ARC - Release Team] E- Book 4 : February 2024 rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ ..."