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Telling the Story of Yourself: 6 Steps to Writing Personal Narratives

Jennifer Xue

Table of Contents

Why do we write personal narratives, 6 guidelines for writing personal narrative essays, inspiring personal narratives, examples of personal narrative essays, tell your story.

First off, you might be wondering: what is a personal narrative? In short, personal narratives are stories we tell about ourselves that focus on our growth, lessons learned, and reflections on our experiences.

From stories about inspirational figures we heard as children to any essay, article, or exercise where we're asked to express opinions on a situation, thing, or individual—personal narratives are everywhere.

According to Psychology Today, personal narratives allow authors to feel and release pains, while savouring moments of strength and resilience. Such emotions provide an avenue for both authors and readers to connect while supporting healing in the process.

That all sounds great. But when it comes to putting the words down on paper, we often end up with a list of experiences and no real structure to tie them together.

In this article, we'll discuss what a personal narrative essay is further, learn the 6 steps to writing one, and look at some examples of great personal narratives.

As readers, we're fascinated by memoirs, autobiographies, and long-form personal narrative articles, as they provide a glimpse into the authors' thought processes, ideas, and feelings. But you don't have to be writing your whole life story to create a personal narrative.

You might be a student writing an admissions essay , or be trying to tell your professional story in a cover letter. Regardless of your purpose, your narrative will focus on personal growth, reflections, and lessons.

Personal narratives help us connect with other people's stories due to their easy-to-digest format and because humans are empathising creatures.

We can better understand how others feel and think when we were told stories that allow us to see the world from their perspectives. The author's "I think" and "I feel" instantaneously become ours, as the brain doesn't know whether what we read is real or imaginary.

In her best-selling book Wired for Story, Lisa Cron explains that the human brain craves tales as it's hard-wired through evolution to learn what happens next. Since the brain doesn't know whether what you are reading is actual or not, we can register the moral of the story cognitively and affectively.

In academia, a narrative essay tells a story which is experiential, anecdotal, or personal. It allows the author to creatively express their thoughts, feelings, ideas, and opinions. Its length can be anywhere from a few paragraphs to hundreds of pages.

Outside of academia, personal narratives are known as a form of journalism or non-fiction works called "narrative journalism." Even highly prestigious publications like the New York Times and Time magazine have sections dedicated to personal narratives. The New Yorke is a magazine dedicated solely to this genre.

The New York Times holds personal narrative essay contests. The winners are selected because they:

had a clear narrative arc with a conflict and a main character who changed in some way. They artfully balanced the action of the story with reflection on what it meant to the writer. They took risks, like including dialogue or playing with punctuation, sentence structure and word choice to develop a strong voice. And, perhaps most important, they focused on a specific moment or theme – a conversation, a trip to the mall, a speech tournament, a hospital visit – instead of trying to sum up the writer’s life in 600 words.

In a nutshell, a personal narrative can cover any reflective and contemplative subject with a strong voice and a unique perspective, including uncommon private values. It's written in first person and the story encompasses a specific moment in time worthy of a discussion.

Writing a personal narrative essay involves both objectivity and subjectivity. You'll need to be objective enough to recognise the importance of an event or a situation to explore and write about. On the other hand, you must be subjective enough to inject private thoughts and feelings to make your point.

With personal narratives, you are both the muse and the creator – you have control over how your story is told. However, like any other type of writing, it comes with guidelines.

1. Write Your Personal Narrative as a Story

As a story, it must include an introduction, characters, plot, setting, climax, anti-climax (if any), and conclusion. Another way to approach it is by structuring it with an introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should set the tone, while the body should focus on the key point(s) you want to get across. The conclusion can tell the reader what lessons you have learned from the story you've just told.

2. Give Your Personal Narrative a Clear Purpose

Your narrative essay should reflect your unique perspective on life. This is a lot harder than it sounds. You need to establish your perspective, the key things you want your reader to take away, and your tone of voice. It's a good idea to have a set purpose in mind for the narrative before you start writing.

Let's say you want to write about how you manage depression without taking any medicine. This could go in any number of ways, but isolating a purpose will help you focus your writing and choose which stories to tell. Are you advocating for a holistic approach, or do you want to describe your emotional experience for people thinking of trying it?

Having this focus will allow you to put your own unique take on what you did (and didn't do, if applicable), what changed you, and the lessons learned along the way.

3. Show, Don't Tell

It's a narration, so the narrative should show readers what happened, instead of telling them. As well as being a storyteller, the author should take part as one of the characters. Keep this in mind when writing, as the way you shape your perspective can have a big impact on how your reader sees your overarching plot. Don't slip into just explaining everything that happened because it happened to you. Show your reader with action.

You can check for instances of telling rather than showing with ProWritingAid. For example, instead of:

"You never let me do anything!" I cried disdainfully.

"You never let me do anything!" To this day, my mother swears that the glare I levelled at her as I spat those words out could have soured milk.

Using ProWritingAid will help you find these instances in your manuscript and edit them without spending hours trawling through your work yourself.

4. Use "I," But Don't Overuse It

You, the author, take ownership of the story, so the first person pronoun "I" is used throughout. However, you shouldn't overuse it, as it'd make it sound too self-centred and redundant.

ProWritingAid can also help you here – the Style Report will tell you if you've started too many sentences with "I", and show you how to introduce more variation in your writing.

5. Pay Attention to Tenses

Tense is key to understanding. Personal narratives mostly tell the story of events that happened in the past, so many authors choose to use the past tense. This helps separate out your current, narrating voice and your past self who you are narrating. If you're writing in the present tense, make sure that you keep it consistent throughout.

6. Make Your Conclusion Satisfying

Satisfy your readers by giving them an unforgettable closing scene. The body of the narration should build up the plot to climax. This doesn't have to be something incredible or shocking, just something that helps give an interesting take on your story.

The takeaways or the lessons learned should be written without lecturing. Whenever possible, continue to show rather than tell. Don't say what you learned, narrate what you do differently now. This will help the moral of your story shine through without being too preachy.

GoodReads is a great starting point for selecting read-worthy personal narrative books. Here are five of my favourites.

Owl Moon by Jane Yolen

Jane Yolen, the author of 386 books, wrote this poetic story about a daughter and her father who went owling. Instead of learning about owls, Yolen invites readers to contemplate the meaning of gentleness and hope.

Night by Elie Wiesel

Elie Wiesel was a teenager when he and his family were sent to Auschwitz concentration camp in 1944. This Holocaust memoir has a strong message that such horrific events should never be repeated.

The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank

This classic is a must-read by young and old alike. It's a remarkable diary by a 13-year-old Jewish girl who hid inside a secret annexe of an old building during the Nazi occupation of the Netherlands in 1942.

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

This is a personal narrative written by a brave author renowned for her clarity, passion, and honesty. Didion shares how in December 2003, she lost her husband of 40 years to a massive heart attack and dealt with the acute illness of her only daughter. She speaks about grief, memories, illness, and hope.

Educated by Tara Westover

Author Tara Westover was raised by survivalist parents. She didn't go to school until 17 years of age, which later took her to Harvard and Cambridge. It's a story about the struggle for quest for knowledge and self-reinvention.

Narrative and personal narrative journalism are gaining more popularity these days. You can find distinguished personal narratives all over the web.

Curating the best of the best of personal narratives and narrative essays from all over the web. Some are award-winning articles.

Narratively

Long-form writing to celebrate humanity through storytelling. It publishes personal narrative essays written to provoke, inspire, and reflect, touching lesser-known and overlooked subjects.

Narrative Magazine

It publishes non,fiction narratives, poetry, and fiction. Among its contributors is Frank Conroy, the author of Stop-Time , a memoir that has never been out of print since 1967.

Thought Catalog

Aimed at Generation Z, it publishes personal narrative essays on self-improvement, family, friendship, romance, and others.

Personal narratives will continue to be popular as our brains are wired for stories. We love reading about others and telling stories of ourselves, as they bring satisfaction and a better understanding of the world around us.

Personal narratives make us better humans. Enjoy telling yours!

Write like a bestselling author

Love writing? ProWritingAid will help you improve the style, strength, and clarity of your stories.

Jennifer Xue is an award-winning e-book author with 2,500+ articles and 100+ e-books/reports published under her belt. She also taught 50+ college-level essay and paper writing classes. Her byline has appeared in Forbes, Fortune, Cosmopolitan, Esquire, Business.com, Business2Community, Addicted2Success, Good Men Project, and others. Her blog is JenniferXue.com. Follow her on Twitter @jenxuewrites].

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How to Write a Personal Narrative [in 10 Easy Steps]

Table of Contents

Do you hate writing personal narratives? So did I, until I learned how to do it correctly. This blog post will explain how to write a personal narrative by exploring how to craft engaging personal narratives, drawing on your own experiences and emotions. So pull up a chair, get comfortable, and let’s get started!

What is a Personal Narrative?

A personal narrative is a story about a significant event in your life. It can be funny, heartwarming, painful, or all of the above. The key is that it needs to be meaningful to you somehow.

Think back to the last personal narrative you wrote. Chances are, you started with a scene: maybe you were climbing a tree on a hot summer day or looking out at the snow-capped mountains from your window on a frigid winter night.

Whatever the scene, it was likely something that stirred up strong emotions within you and compelled you to write about it. And that’s the key to writing a good personal narrative: start with a scene that will hook your readers and make them feel something.

A personal narrative essay is usually based on a single event that significantly impacted the writer. It could be something as small as a childhood memory or as momentous as a life-changing event.

The important thing is that the event should have affected you and that you can share what happened clearly and interestingly.

Why Write a Personal Narrative?

There are many reasons why you might want to write a personal narrative. Maybe you want to share a funny story about something that happened to you, or maybe you want to write about a time when you faced a challenge and overcame it.

Personal narratives can also be used to communicate important lessons that you’ve learned in life. By sharing your experiences, you can help others learn from your mistakes or inspire them to face their own challenges.

Whatever your reason for writing a personal narrative, remember that your goal is to connect with your reader and make them feel something. With that in mind, let’s move on to some tips for how to write a personal narrative

Features of a Personal Narrative

When writing a personal narrative, it’s important to keep the following features in mind:

First-person point of view: Personal narratives are usually written in first person, meaning they’re written from your perspective. This helps create a more intimate connection between you and the reader.

Dialog: Dialog, or conversation, can be a great way to add interest to a personal narrative. It can also help to further develop the characters in your story.

Vivid descriptions: Personal narratives are all about painting a picture for the reader. Be sure to use descriptive language to bring your story to life.

Emotional appeal: As we mentioned before, personal narratives should stir up strong emotions in the reader. Whether you’re writing about a funny moment or a life-changing event, your goal is to connect with your reader on an emotional level.

Now that we’ve gone over some of the key features of a personal narrative, let’s move on to the next step: brainstorming ideas for your narrative.

Brainstorming Ideas for Your Personal Narrative

One of the best ways to come up with ideas for a personal narrative is to brainstorm a list of potential topics. To get you started, here are some prompts that you can use to spark your creativity:

• A time when you faced a challenge
• An experience that changed your life
• A memory that makes you laugh or cry
• A place that’s special to you
• A relationship that’s significant to you
• A hobby or interest you’re passionate about
• Something you’re afraid of
• A time when you felt embarrassed or ashamed
• A moment when you were proud of yourself
• A time when you made a mistake

Once you’ve brainstormed a list of potential topics, it’s time to choose the one that you’re going to write about.

To do that, ask yourself the following questions:

What’s the most memorable experience I want to write about?

What’s the best way to tell this story?

What details can I include to make this story more interesting?

What lessons have I learned from this experience?

By asking yourself these questions, you should be able to narrow down your list of potential topics to the one that you’re going to write about.

Now that we’ve gone over how to brainstorm and choose a topic for your personal narrative let’s move on to the next step: creating an outline.

Creating an Outline for Your Personal Narrative

Once you’ve chosen your topic, it’s time to start planning your story. The best way to do that is to create an outline.

Here’s a basic outline for a personal narrative:

Introduction:

Start with a hook or an interesting opening that will grab the reader’s attention. Then, give some background information about your topic. Finally, explain what you’re going to write about in your story.

Body paragraphs:

In the body paragraphs of your narrative, you’ll need to include enough detail to bring your story to life and make it interesting for the reader. Be sure to include sensory details, dialogue, and other elements to help create a vivid picture for the reader.

Conclusion:

In the conclusion of your narrative, you’ll want to wrap up your story and leave the reader with a strong final impression. You can share the lessons you learned from your experience or explain how this experience has affected you. By creating an outline before you start writing, you’ll be able to organize your thoughts and ensure that your story flows smoothly.

Now that we’ve gone over how to create an outline for your personal narrative, let’s move on to the next step: writing your story.

How to Write a Personal Narrative: 9 Tips

Now that we’ve answered the question.”What is a personal narrative?” and discussed some reasons why you might want to write one, it’s time to get started! Here are nine tips for how to write a personal narrative that will resonate with your readers:

1. Start with a scene

As we mentioned, the best way to hook your reader is to start with a scene. This could be a specific event that you remember vividly, or it could be an ongoing experience you feel strongly about.

Whichever route you choose, set the scene by providing enough details for your reader to picture what’s going on. If you’re writing about a specific event, describe where it took place, the weather, who was there, and what you were doing.

If you’re writing about an ongoing experience, describe the setting in detail and provide some background information on why it’s significant to you.

2. Use strong verbs

Once you’ve set the scene, it’s time to move into the action. Use strong verbs to describe what’s happening and help your reader feel like they’re right there in the thick of things.

For example, instead of saying, “I was walking down the street,” you could say, “I strutted down the street.” The verb “strut” adds attitude and makes the scene more interesting to read.

Likewise, instead of saying, “I was scared,” you could say, “I quaked with fear.” This not only sounds more interesting, but it also provides insight into your emotional state at the time.

3. Use sensory details

In addition to using strong verbs, another way to make your readers feel like they’re in the scene is to use sensory details. Describe what you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel.

For example, if you’re writing about a time when you were very scared, you might say: “My heart pounded in my chest, and I felt like I was going to vomit.” Using these types of details, you can help your reader feel the same emotions you felt at the time.

4. Be honest

One of the most important things to remember when writing a personal narrative is, to be honest. Don’t try to make yourself look better or worse than you are – just write about what happened as truthfully as you can.

Being honest doesn’t mean you have to share everything – sometimes, it’s okay to leave out details that are too personal or hurtful. But in general, try to be as open and truthful as you can about your experiences.

5. Avoid cliches

When writing a personal narrative, it’s easy to fall into the trap of using cliches. For example, you might be tempted to say something like, “It was a dark and stormy night,” or “I had an epiphany.”

While there’s nothing wrong with using a well-known phrase every once in a while, try to avoid relying on them too much. Instead, challenge yourself to be creative and develop your own way of describing things.

6. Write in first person

When writing a personal narrative, it’s important to write in first person. This means using “I” statements, such as “I walked down the street.”

Writing in first person gives your story a more personal feel and allows your readers to connect with you more easily.

7. Use flashbacks sparingly

While flashbacks can be a great way to provide background information or add intrigue to your story, they should be used sparingly. If you use too many flashbacks, it can be confusing for your reader and make your story less cohesive.

If you do decide to use a flashback, make sure it’s relevant to the current story and that you provide enough context for your reader to understand what’s going on.

8. Write a strong ending

The ending of your personal narrative is just as important as the beginning. After all, this is the part of the story your reader will remember the most.

One way to end your story on a strong note is to tie everything back to the main theme or moral of the story. For example, if you’re writing about a time when you overcame a challenge, you might say, “I learned that I was stronger than I thought I was.”

Another way to create a strong ending is to leave your reader with a question or a cliffhanger. This will make them think about your story long after reading it.

9. Edit and revise

Once you’ve finished writing your personal narrative, editing and revising your work is important. This will help you fix any errors and ensure your story is as strong as it can be.

When editing, pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation. You should also make sure your story flows smoothly and that there are no plot holes.

narrative, it’s important to edit and revise it. This will help you fix any errors and ensure your story is as strong as it can be.

Consider using Grammarly to help you with editing. This tool can catch grammar mistakes that you might miss. It’s also a great way to improve your writing skills in general.

When revising your story, ask yourself if there’s anything you can add or remove to make it better. Sometimes, less is more. Removing unnecessary details can make your story more impactful.

Finally, make sure the overall structure of your story makes sense. This includes the order of events and how each scene transitions into the next.

10. Publish your story

Once you’re happy with your story, it’s time to share it with the world. There are a few different ways you can do this.

If you want to keep your story private, you could simply save it on your computer or print it out. You could also bind it into a book or create a digital book using a program like Scrivener.

If you’re interested in sharing your story with a wider audience, you could submit it to a literary magazine or website. You could also self-publish your story as an ebook or print book.

No matter how you share your story, just remember that the most important thing is that you’re happy with it. Don’t worry about what other people think—just focus on creating a story you’re proud of.

Examples of Personal Narratives

Now that you know how to write a personal narrative, it’s time to see some examples. Reading examples of personal narratives can give you an idea of how to structure your story.

Below, you’ll find a few examples of personal narratives. The first compelling personal narrative is about a young woman’s experience with her father, and the second is about a young boy’s experience at summer camp.

Example 1: “My Father and I”

I was always close with my father, but it wasn’t until I went away to college that I realized how much he truly meant to me.

Growing up, my father was always busy with work. He was a successful lawyer, and his job often required him to travel. As a result, I didn’t see him as much as I would have liked.

When I left for college, I was nervous about being away from home. But my father assured me that everything would be okay. He told me he was always there for me, even if he couldn’t be there in person.

Throughout my first year of college, my father and I texted each other almost daily. He would ask me about my classes, and I would tell him about my friends and what I was doing. Even though we were so far apart, it was great to connect with him.

Then, one day, I got a call from my father. He sounded strange, and he told me he had some bad news. He had been diagnosed with cancer.

I was shocked. I didn’t know what to say. All I could think about was how much I wanted to be with him.

Fortunately, my father’s cancer was caught early, and he was able to receive treatment. I flew home as soon as possible and spent the next few months helping him recover.

Although it was difficult, it also brought my father and me closer together. We talked more than ever, and I could finally see how much he truly loved me.

Now, my father is healthy and happy. We still text each other almost daily, and I cherish our relationship more than ever.

Example 2: “My Summer at Camp”

When I was ten years old, I went to summer camp for the first time. I was nervous about being away from home, but I was also excited to meet new people and try new things.

As soon as I arrived at camp, I made a beeline for the nearest bunk. I had been assigned to a bunk with other ten-year-old girls and was eager to get to know them.

However, I soon realized that the other girls in my bunk didn’t want to be friends with me. They would exclude me from their games and conversations and often make fun of me.

I was hurt and confused. I didn’t understand why they didn’t like me.

One day, I decided to take a walk around camp. I had always loved exploring, hoping to find someplace new to play.

As I was walking, I heard laughter coming from a nearby cabin. I walked closer and saw a group of girls my age playing together. They looked like they were having so much fun.

I hesitated for a moment, unsure whether I should go over. But then I decided that there was nothing to lose. So, I walked up to the group of girls and asked if I could join them.

At first, they were hesitant. But after a few minutes, they welcomed me into the group. We spent the rest of the summer playing together and becoming close friends.

That experience taught me a lot about friendship and acceptance. I learned that being different is okay and that there’s always a place for you somewhere.

Now, whenever I see someone who looks like they’re feeling left out, I make sure to include them. Because I know what it feels like to be excluded, and I don’t want anyone to feel that way.

Personal narratives are a great way to connect with your reader. They allow you to share your experiences and lessons learned relatable and engagingly. Hopefully, these examples have inspired you to start writing your personal narrative.

Happy writing!

A personal narrative is a story that recounts a writer’s personal experience.

What is the purpose of a Personal Narrative?

The purpose of a personal narrative is to share an experience that has affected the writer in some way. The goal is to connect with the reader and give them a glimpse into your life.

How long should a Personal Narrative be?

A personal narrative can be as short or as long as you want it to be. There is no set length for a personal narrative. However, it’s generally best to keep your story focused and concise.

Show Don’t Tell Writing Exercises: How To

Conversational style writing examples.

When it comes to writing, Willow Tenny is a true pro. She has a wealth of experience in SEO copywriting and creative writing, and she knows exactly what it takes to produce quality content. On her blog, Willow Writes, Willow shares top writing strategies with both beginners and experienced writers.

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How to Write a Personal Narrative like a Pro (With Examples)

Last Updated: December 12, 2023 Fact Checked

Template and Sample Narrative

• Brainstorming

This article was co-authored by Grant Faulkner, MA . Grant Faulkner is the Executive Director of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) and the co-founder of 100 Word Story, a literary magazine. Grant has published two books on writing and has been published in The New York Times and Writer’s Digest. He co-hosts Write-minded, a weekly podcast on writing and publishing, and has a M.A. in Creative Writing from San Francisco State University.  There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 861,361 times.

Personal narratives focus on a particular real life event that was pivotal or important for the writer. You may have to write a personal narrative as part of a college application or as an assignment for a class. To write a strong personal narrative, start by coming up with an engaging idea. Then, write the narrative with an opening hook and a detailed, organized structure. Always review and revise the personal narrative before handing it in so it is at its best.

Things You Should Know

• Center your narrative around an important moment in your life. For example, you might write about a time you had to make a hard decision or deal with a conflict.
• Move chronologically through the events you’re discussing. This will make your narrative easy to follow and draw your reader in.
• Finish with a moral takeaway or a life lesson. What did you learn from these events, and why is it important? How did they shape you as a person?

Brainstorming Ideas for the Narrative

• For example, you may write about your struggles with body image in high school and how you overcame them in adulthood. Or you may write about your disastrous 15th birthday party and how it affected your relationship with your mother.

• For example, you write a personal narrative about your complicated relationship with your birth mother. Or you may write about a conflict you have with a sport you play or a club you are a part of.

• For example, you may explore a theme like poverty by writing about your family’s struggle with money and finances. You may write about having to defer college applications to work at your parent’s business to make ends meet for your family.

• The Boys of My Youth by Jo Ann Beard
• Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion
• Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
• The Lives section of The New York Times

Writing the Personal Narrative

• For example, the first line in the personal narrative by Tony Gervino is attention grabbing: “I was 6 when my brother John leaned across the kitchen table and casually whispered that he had killed Santa Claus.” [5] X Research source

• For example, in Tony Gervino’s essay, he sets the scene by providing setting, character, and narrative voice: “It was July 1973, we were living in Scarsdale, N.Y., and he was four years older than I was, although that seemed like decades.”

• For example, you may start with an event in childhood with your older sister and then move forward in time to the present day, focusing on you and your older sister as adults.

• For example, you may describe the feeling of your mother’s famous lemon cake as “rich and zesty, with a special ingredient that to this day, I cannot identify.”

• For example, you may end a personal narrative about your complicated relationship with your troubled sister by ending on a recent memory where you both enjoyed each other’s company. You may leave the reader with a lesson you have learned about loving someone, even with all their messiness and baggage.

Polishing the Personal Narrative

• You can also try reading the narrative out loud to someone else so they can hear how it sounds. This can then make it easier for them to give you feedback.

• Be willing to accept feedback from others. Be open to constructive criticism as it will likely strengthen the narrative.

Community Q&A

You Might Also Like

• How to Write a Narrative Essay
• How to Write a Journal Entry
• How to Write an Epistolary Narrative
• How to Write an Autobiography
• ↑ https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/personal-narrative-examples
• ↑ https://www.byrdseed.com/writing-better-personal-narratives/
• ↑ https://grammar.yourdictionary.com/grammar-rules-and-tips/tips-for-writing-a-personal-narrative-essay.html
• ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/17/magazine/lives-a-rats-tale.html
• ↑ https://open.lib.umn.edu/writingforsuccess/chapter/10-1-narration/
• ↑ https://writingcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/reading-aloud/
• ↑ https://writingcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/revising-drafts/

About This Article

To write a personal narrative, start by choosing a memorable moment, event, or conflict in your life that you want to write about. Then, use your personal narrative to describe your story, going chronologically through the events. Try to use a lot of sensory detail, like how things smelled, sounded, felt, and looked, so your readers can picture everything you're describing. At the end of your narrative, include a lesson you learned or something you took away from the experience. To learn how to brainstorm ideas for your personal narrative, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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How To Write A Personal Narrative + 5 Personal Narrative Examples

Tell us about yourself.

Scary, right!?

Welcome to the art of writing personal narratives.

It’s one of the most intimidating but powerful writing styles out there.

But don’t worry. We got your back. 

Below, we’re breaking it all down with narrative writing examples.

By the end, you’ll have the tips you need to get it done…and done well.

So grab your notepad, and let’s dive in. 

What Is a Personal Narrative?

Read several personal narratives, pick a topic, hash out thoughts, feelings, and metaphors, create an outline, write a first draft, me talk pretty one day by david sedaris, goodbye to all that by joan didion, typical first year professor by roxane gay, shooting an elephant by george orwell, your brain’s response to your ex, according to neuroscience by amy paturel, final thoughts.

Broadly speaking, a personal narrative is a literary category wherein people creatively explore events in their lives. In addition to telling the tale, personal narratives include pointed reflections, associated feelings, and related life lessons.

The style is frequently used to encourage creative, free-flow writing.

Though similar to memoirs, autobiographies, and personal essays, personal narratives have distinct qualities. Here’s how they differ from the other self-focused literary styles.

• Memoirs : Personal narratives and memoirs are the most closely related. However, memoirs are typically broader in scope and usually feature other parties.
• Autobiographies : Generally, autobiographies are less creative than personal narratives. Instead, they focus on the chronology of one’s life and typically lack a reflective element. 
• Personal Essays: Overall, personal essays are more formal than personal narratives. 

How To Write a Personal Narrative

How do you write a personal narrative? As is the case with all writing, a one-size-fits-all approach doesn’t exist. However, there are a few steps that many people find helpful. Let’s take a look.

Read several personal narratives before you set pen to paper — or fingertips to keys. It’s the best way to understand the genre and may spark ideas. Besides, reading makes you a better writer. 

Pay attention to what you like best about others’ personal narratives and try to incorporate similar features into your own. The goal isn’t to copy other authors’ styles but instead to get a better idea of structure and tone. 

If you’re looking for titles, check out the list below.

After you’ve read several personal narratives, it’s time to brainstorm. 

While using a computer or notes app is perfectly fine, experts encourage people to brainstorm with a pen and paper. Scientists aren’t sure why, exactly, manual writing unlocks creativity at a higher level and improves cognitive function; they just know that it does. 

When brainstorming, don’t worry about writing well. The objective is to get what’s in your head out. Don’t judge what comes out. Just let it flow. Most people are surprised at the ideas they’re able to generate through this simple process. Who knows, you may shock yourself! 

Once you’ve brainstormed, choose a topic.

Remember, personal narratives typically focus on a single experience, thought, or idea. That’s what differentiates them from memoirs and autobiographies, which cover longer periods of people’s lives.

Try to pick something that deeply resonates with you and lends itself to exploring lessons and reflective ideas.  

Once you’ve established your topic, it’s time to start thinking about what you want to say. What ideas do you want to convey? What feelings do you want to emote?

Including metaphors is a great idea as they add depth and humor to the piece. But be careful; clunky metaphors can drag a work down.

Once you’ve sketched out some ideas, make an outline. This will make the actual writing process a lot easier. The main headers should define the flow of the piece with details included under each.

Some writers prefer to make detailed outlines, while others use a looser style. The choice is yours. Experiment with both to see which works best for you. 

It’s finally time to write the first draft! Weave the ideas in your outline into prose. 

Again, don’t worry too much about perfecting it the first time. Many writers would argue that a good first draft is always bad. It’s the time to blurt out ideas in a semi-coherent manner. 

When “penning” a first draft, try to keep it moving. If you can’t think of the exact right word, put an “X” and keep on going. This may be difficult at first, but the more you do it, the easier it will become.

Once you have the first draft down, it’s time to edit. This is where the magic happens.

Take each sentence one by one. Examine it. 

• Can you use stronger words — especially verbs? 
• Consider if each sentence adds value to the story and themes. 
• Is it cohesive? 
• Does it trigger emotions? 
• Have you painted a picture to which others can relate?

Don’t stop at just one edit. Go through it two or three times. Moreover, give yourself at least a few hours between each revision to give your eyes a rest.

5 Personal Narrative Examples

We’ve discussed the definition of a personal narrative and the steps to writing one. Now, let’s review a handful of examples.

Me Talk Pretty One Day is both the name of a personal narrative and a best-selling collection of essays published in 2000 by David Sedaris. The former is an account of a French class the author took in Paris after moving to France.

His short personal narrative details the humorist’s experience under the lethal linguistic sword of an exceptionally caustic teacher (aka, the “wild animal”), the camaraderie forged between the classmates and the joy of finally understanding a fluent speaker in one’s non-native tongue.

Written in a plain and personal style, Me Talk Pretty One Day is an excellent example of taking a single event and extrapolating universal — and funny — life lessons. 

Notable Passage: At the age of forty-one, I am returning to school and have to think of myself as what my French textbook calls “a true debutant.” After paying my tuition, I was issued a student ID, which allows me a discounted entry fee at movie theaters, puppet shows, and Festyland, a far-flung amusement park that advertises with billboards picturing a cartoon stegosaurus sitting in a canoe and eating what appears to be a ham sandwich.

Written in 1967 and beginning with the line, “It’s easy to see the beginning of things, and harder to see the end,” Goodbye to All That was Joan Didion’s exploration of what it was like to fall out of love with New York City.

Having arrived as a naive and hopeful 20-year-old, the essayist describes her dingy apartment, lack of financial resources, and the things that made Manhattan magical.

Through the course of the piece, however, her angst begins to unravel, and she starts to realize that the “city that never sleeps” was not a good fit as she grew into a full-fledged adult.

Written in Didion’s distinct style, Goodbye to All That is a glowing example of a personal narrative about lost love, growing up, and the ups and downs of one’s twenty-something decade.

Notable Passage: That was the year, my twenty-eight, when I was discovering that not all of the promises would be kept, that some things are in fact irrevocable and that it had counted after all, every evasion and ever procrastination, every word, all of it.

“I go to school for a very long time and get some degrees and finally move to a very small town in the middle of a cornfield.” So begins Roxane Gay’s personal narrative entitled Typical First Year Professor is about her inaugural 12 months as 

The glory of having one’s own office, printer, and nameplate on the door, and the agony of only getting paid once a month, enduring ludicrous lies about missed assignments, and the stress of achieving tenure. 

Written in the first-person, present tense, Typical First Year Professor is a tightly worded, funny, and relatable personal narrative about starting a new life and all the insecurities that come with such a journey.

Notable Passage: I try to make class fun, engaging, experiential. We hold a mock debate about social issues in composition. We use Twitter to learn about crafting micro content in new media writing. We play Jeopardy! To learn about professional reports in professional writing. College and kindergarten aren’t as different as you’d think. 

Composed in 1936, George Orwell’s Shooting an Elephant is an account of the venerated author’s time as a British cop in Burma. As the title suggests, it tells the story of when Orwell was tasked with taking out an elephant.

An exploration of being an outsider, Orwell weaved his insecurities about his position in life and not loving his job into a story about a moment in his life when he did something he knew he had to do but didn’t want to. 

Although Orwell is best known for his magnum opus, Nineteen Eighty-Four , Shooting an Elephant gives readers a peek into who he was as a man and his values. 

Notable Passage: But I did not want to shoot the elephant. I watched him beating his bunch of grass against his knees, with that preoccupied grandmotherly air that elephants have. It seemed to me that it would be murder to shoot him. At that age I was not squeamish about killing animals, but I had never shot an elephant and never wanted to. (Somehow, it always seems worse to kill a large animal.) Besides, there was the beast’s owner to be considered. 

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Billed as an essay about “the good and the bad of what happens when you connect with an old flame,” Your Brain’s Response to Your Ex, According to Neuroscience is a unique personal narrative disguised as science writing. 

Amy Paturel describes what it was like to meet up with a serious ex after 15 years apart and getting married and having a child. 

A clinical lesson in how hormones and the brain work to bond us to past loves, Your Brain’s Response is also a personal narrative of what it was like to meet up with someone you once passionately loved as a young adult in middle age.

Notable Passage: Today, our lives couldn’t be more disparate. He’d been living in a loop since I left — upscale dinners, regular happy hours, exotic vacations — and before his engagement, a different woman by his side every few years. I married, bore three children and spent most days with a toddler attached at the hip — or more often the knee because both hands are full.

Personal narratives are one of the most engaging writing styles available. While they’re frequently used for school and job applications, they’re also a great way to flex your creative writing muscle. 

Again, the best way to become a personal narrative writing rockstar is to read lots of them. Good places to check them out include:

• The New York Times
• The New Yorker
• The Atlantic
• O, the Oprah Magazine
• Cosmopolitan
• Harper’s Magazine
• The Antioch Review
• McSweeney’s 

Don’t be afraid to experiment, and do your best to focus on a single event. Narrow things down and be concise. Moreover, use words people know. While word choice should be a focus, do your best to avoid using words that go over people’s heads. 

And remember, the gold is in the editing. 

Good luck! Be you.

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Last updated on Oct 31, 2022

10 Personal Narrative Examples to Inspire Your Writing

Personal narratives are short pieces of creative nonfiction that recount a story from someone’s own experiences. They can be a memoir, a thinkpiece, or even a polemic — so long as the piece is grounded in the writer's beliefs and experiences, it can be considered a personal narrative.

Despite the nonfiction element, there’s no single way to approach this topic, and you can be as creative as you would be writing fiction. To inspire your writing and reveal the sheer diversity of this type of essay, here are ten great examples personal narratives from recent years: 

1. “Only Disconnect” by Gary Shteyngart

Personal narratives don’t have to be long to be effective, as this thousand-word gem from the NYT book review proves. Published in 2010, just as smartphones were becoming a ubiquitous part of modern life, this piece echoes many of our fears surrounding technology and how it often distances us from reality.

In this narrative, Shteyngart navigates Manhattan using his new iPhone—or more accurately, is led by his iPhone, completely oblivious to the world around him. He’s completely lost to the magical happenstance of the city as he “follow[s] the arrow taco-ward”. But once he leaves for the country, and abandons the convenience of a cell phone connection, the real world comes rushing back in and he remembers what he’s been missing out on. 

The downfalls of technology is hardly a new topic, but Shteyngart’s story remains evergreen because of how our culture has only spiraled further down the rabbit hole of technology addiction in the intervening years.

What can you learn from this piece?

Just because a piece of writing is technically nonfiction, that doesn’t mean that the narrative needs to be literal. Shteyngart imagines a Manhattan that physically changes around him when he’s using his iPhone, becoming an almost unrecognizable world. From this, we can see how a certain amount of dramatization can increase the impact of your message—even if that wasn’t exactly the way something happened. 

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2. “Why I Hate Mother's Day” by Anne Lamott

The author of the classic writing text Bird by Bird digs into her views on motherhood in this piece from Salon. At once a personal narrative and a cultural commentary, Lamott explores the harmful effects that Mother’s Day may have on society —how its blind reverence to the concept of motherhood erases women’s agency and freedom to be flawed human beings. 

Lamott points out that not all mothers are good, not everyone has a living mother to celebrate, and some mothers have lost their children, so have no one to celebrate with them. More importantly, she notes how this Hallmark holiday erases all the people who helped raise a woman, a long chain of mothers and fathers, friends and found family, who enable her to become a mother. While it isn’t anchored to a single story or event (like many classic personal narratives), Lamott’s exploration of her opinions creates a story about a culture that puts mothers on an impossible pedestal. 

In a personal narrative essay, lived experience can be almost as valid as peer-reviewed research—so long as you avoid making unfounded assumptions. While some might point out that this is merely an opinion piece, Lamott cannily starts the essay by grounding it in the personal, revealing how she did not raise her son to celebrate Mother’s Day. This detail, however small, invites the reader into her private life and frames this essay as a story about her —and not just an exercise in being contrary.

3. “The Crane Wife” by CJ Hauser 

Days after breaking off her engagement with her fiance, CJ Hauser joins a scientific expedition on the Texas coast r esearching whooping cranes . In this new environment, she reflects on the toxic relationship she left and how she found herself in this situation. She pulls together many seemingly disparate threads, using the expedition and the Japanese myth of the crane wife as a metaphor for her struggles. 

Hauser’s interactions with the other volunteer researchers expand the scope of the narrative from her own mind, reminding her of the compassion she lacked in her relationship. In her attempts to make herself smaller, less needy, to please her fiance, she lost sight of herself and almost signed up to live someone else’s life, but among the whooping cranes of Texas, she takes the first step in reconnecting with herself.

With short personal narratives, there isn’t as much room to develop characters as you might have in a memoir so the details you do provide need to be clear and specific. Each of the volunteer researchers on Hauser’s expedition are distinct and recognizable though Hauser is economical in her descriptions. 

For example, Hauser describes one researcher as “an eighty-four-year-old bachelor from Minnesota. He could not do most of the physical activities required by the trip, but had been on ninety-five Earthwatch expeditions, including this one once before. Warren liked birds okay. What Warren really loved was cocktail hour.” 

In a few sentences, we get a clear picture of Warren's fun-loving, gregarious personality and how he fits in with the rest of the group.

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4. “The Trash Heap Has Spoken” by Carmen Maria Machado

The films and TV shows of the 80s and 90s—cultural touchstones that practically raised a generation—hardly ever featured larger women on screen. And if they did, it was either as a villain or a literal trash heap. Carmen Maria Machado grew up watching these cartoons, and the absence of fat women didn’t faze her. Not until puberty hit and she went from a skinny kid to a fuller-figured teen. Suddenly uncomfortable in her skin, she struggled to find any positive representation in her favorite media.

As she gets older and more comfortable in her own body, Machado finds inspiration in Marjory the Trash Heap from Fraggle Rock and Ursula, everyone’s favorite sea witch from The Little Mermaid —characters with endless power in the unapologetic ways they inhabit their bodies. As Machado considers her own body through the years, it’s these characters she returns to as she faces society’s unkind, dismissive attitudes towards fat women.

Stories shape the world, even if they’re fictional. Some writers strive for realism, reflecting the world back on itself in all its ugliness, but Carmen Maria Machado makes a different point. There is power in being imaginative and writing the world as it could be, imagining something bigger, better, and more beautiful. So, write the story you want to see, change the narrative, look at it sideways, and show your readers how the world could look. 

5. “Am I Disabled?” by Joanne Limburg 

The titular question frames the narrative of Joanne Limburg’s essay as she considers the implications of disclosing her autism. What to some might seem a mundane occurrence—ticking ‘yes’, ‘no’, or ‘prefer not to say’ on a bureaucratic form—elicits both philosophical and practical questions for Limburg about what it means to be disabled and how disability is viewed by the majority of society. 

Is the labor of disclosing her autism worth the insensitive questions she has to answer? What definition are people seeking, exactly? Will anyone believe her if she says yes? As she dissects the question of what disability is, she explores the very real personal effects this has on her life and those of other disabled people. 

Limburg’s essay is written in a style known as the hermit crab essay , when an author uses an existing document form to contain their story. You can format your writing as a recipe, a job application, a resume, an email, or a to-do list – the possibilities are as endless as your creativity. The format you choose is important, though. It should connect in some way to the story you’re telling and add something to the reader’s experience as well as your overall theme. 

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6. “Living Like Weasels” by Annie Dillard

While out on a walk in the woods behind her house, Annie Dillard encounters a wild weasel. In the short moment when they make eye contact, Dillard takes an imaginary journey through the weasel’s mind and wonders if the weasel’s approach to life is better than her own. 

The weasel, as Dillard sees it, is a wild creature with jaws so powerful that when it clamps on to something, it won’t let go, even into death. Necessity drives it to be like this, and humanity, obsessed with choice, might think this kind of life is limiting, but the writer believes otherwise. The weasel’s necessity is the ultimate freedom, as long as you can find the right sort, the kind that will have you holding on for dear life and refusing to let go. 

Make yourself the National Geographic explorer of your backyard or neighborhood and see what you can learn about yourself from what you discover. Annie Dillard, queen of the natural personal essay, discovers a lot about herself and her beliefs when meeting a weasel.

What insight can you glean from a blade of grass, for example? Does it remind you that despite how similar people might be, we are all unique? Do the flights of migrating birds give you perspective on the changes in your own life? Nature is a potent and never-ending spring of inspiration if you only think to look. 

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7. “Love In Our Seventies” by Ellery Akers

“ And sometimes, when I lift the gray hair at the back of your neck and kiss your shoulder, I think, This is it.”

In under 400 words, poet Ellery Akers captures the joy she has found in discovering romance as a 75-year-old . The language is romantic, but her imagery is far from saccharine as she describes their daily life and the various states in which they’ve seen each other: in their pajamas, after cataract surgeries, while meditating. In each singular moment, Akers sees something she loves, underscoring an oft-forgotten truth. Love is most potent in its smallest gestures.  

Personal narrative isn’t a defined genre with rigid rules, so your essay doesn’t have to be an essay. It can be a poem, as Akers’ is. The limitations of this form can lead to greater creativity as you’re trying to find a short yet evocative way to tell a story. It allows you to focus deeply on the emotions behind an idea and create an intimate connection with your reader. 

8. “What a Black Woman Wishes Her Adoptive White Parents Knew” by Mariama Lockington

Mariama Lockington was adopted by her white parents in the early 80s, long before it was “trendy” for white people to adopt black children. Starting with a family photograph, the writer explores her complex feelings about her upbringing , the many ways her parents ignored her race for their own comfort, and how she came to feel like an outsider in her own home. In describing her childhood snapshots, she takes the reader from infancy to adulthood as she navigates trying to live as a black woman in a white family. 

Lockington takes us on a journey through her life through a series of vignettes. These small, important moments serve as a framing device, intertwining to create a larger narrative about race, family, and belonging. 

With this framing device, it’s easy to imagine Lockington poring over a photo album, each picture conjuring a different memory and infusing her story with equal parts sadness, regret, and nostalgia. You can create a similar effect by separating your narrative into different songs to create an album or episodes in a TV show. A unique structure can add an extra layer to your narrative and enhance the overall story.

9. “Drinking Chai to Savannah” by Anjali Enjeti

On a trip to Savannah with her friends, Anjali Enjeti is reminded of a racist incident she experienced as a teenager . The memory is prompted by her discomfort of traveling in Georgia as a South Asian woman and her friends’ seeming obliviousness to how others view them. As she recalls the tense and traumatic encounter she had in line at a Wendy’s and the worry she experiences in Savannah, Enjeti reflects on her understanding of otherness and race in America. 

Enjeti paints the scene in Wendy’s with a deft hand. Using descriptive language, she invokes the five senses to capture the stress and fear she felt when the men in line behind her were hurling racist sentiments. 

She writes, “He moves closer. His shadow eclipses mine. His hot, tobacco-tinged breath seeps over the collar of my dress.” The strong, evocative language she uses brings the reader into the scene and has them experience the same anxiety she does, understanding why this incident deeply impacted her. 

10. “Siri Tells A Joke” by Debra Gwartney

One day, Debra Gwartney asks Siri—her iPhone’s digital assistant—to tell her a joke. In reply, Siri recites a joke with a familiar setup about three men stuck on a desert island. When the punchline comes, Gwartney reacts not with laughter, but with a memory of her husband , who had died less than six months prior.

In a short period, Gwartney goes through a series of losses—first, her house and her husband’s writing archives to a wildfire, and only a month after, her husband. As she reflects on death and the grief of those left behind in the wake of it, she recounts the months leading up to her husband’s passing and the interminable stretch after as she tries to find a way to live without him even as she longs for him. 

A joke about three men on a deserted island seems like an odd setup for an essay about grief. However, Gwartney uses it to great effect, coming back to it later in the story and giving it greater meaning. By the end of her piece, she recontextualizes the joke, the original punchline suddenly becoming deeply sad. In taking something seemingly unrelated and calling back to it later, the essay’s message about grief and love becomes even more powerful.

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Personal Narrative

Personal narratives are simple: it’s your story, told uniquely by you..

Body Scan Emily Maynes

“Now as we begin, just take a moment to get comfortable and then, when you’re ready, start off with some nice big deep breaths” Andy’s voice intones these familiar words in my ears. I have never met Andy Puddicombe, but after months of listening to his recorded meditations, I feel like we’re old friends. I’ve received countless pieces of advice–sometimes conflicting, often worthless–but meditation is one practice that actually helps me.

Andy’s resonant voice continues: “and with the next inhalation, just close your eyes and settle back into the space around you. Now just gently bring the attention back to the body and start noticing how it feels, taking note not only of the areas that feel uncomfortable, but those areas that feel comfortable, too. Starting up at the top of the head, you can just scan down towards the toes.”

The top of my head…that’s what struck the side of the car when we were hit. I wasn’t wearing my seatbelt when it happened. We had only just piled into our seats when the truck smashed into the side of the car–my side of the car. It happened in an instant, but I was thrown in slow motion. I’ve never screamed like that before.

The top of my head took the brunt of the blow. No skin was broken to make a scar; not even a bruise remained, but it was weeks before that sharp pain subsided. It’s long gone now.

On an inhale through my nose, I scan down the back of my head, which is sensitive to touch. The sensitivity is caused by nerve pain, but I didn’t know that until six months after I was injured, when I first saw my neurologist: “I guess I just started sleeping on my stomach to avoid putting pressure on it. I didn’t even think about it until now…but I never slept like that before the accident.”

I release the air through my mouth on an exhale and notice that my eyes are clenched tightly closed. Sensitive to even the softest light and struggling to focus, my eyes were strained for weeks after I was injured. I thought they relaxed sooner than they did, but I really just forgot I was squinting.

The neurologist told me that difficulty focusing and light sensitivity are classic lingering symptoms. “It will go away with time,” he assured me, but my first doctor said the same thing. She also cleared me of my symptoms two months after the accident and yet there I was, talking to a neurologist six months later, with all of my symptoms as acute as they were right after I was injured. They were triggered again when I tried to go on my mission.

The night before they sent me home, I cried harder than I ever had before. Big and puffy and bruised, I didn’t know if my eyelids would ever recover. On my last day, I insisted on taking pictures with the missionaries from my district, but my face was so swollen that I can hardly recognize myself in those photos. My missionaries have been in Sweden now for almost four months; I still talk to them every week. My puffy eyelids looked bruised for days after we parted, but they did, eventually, recover. Lying on my back, I let the last bit of air release from my lungs and, amazingly, so does the tension in my lids.

My next breath goes down a little further into my neck and I gently nod my head the way my physical therapist showed me to, turning on my deep neck flexors. Teaching me how to activate those muscles, the physical therapist said “it might feel a little uncomfortable at first, like you’re restricting your breathing a bit.” I spent weeks choking back sobs, so this is a familiar sensation. As those little muscles activate, I feel the desired release in my sub-occipital region.

I didn’t even know what a sub-occipital was before I saw a neurologist but, as with me and Andy, I now feel like the sub-occs and I are old pals. “Whiplash will correct itself after a few weeks.” That’s what my first doctor said. Six months later, my sub-occipitals begged to differ.

The neurologist thought micro tears or inflammation in my neck might be the source of my debilitating headaches. I doubted his diagnosis because I didn’t feel anything like the tension he described, but when they did an ultrasound to check, they found the entire muscle group in spasm. It was like that for so long that I didn’t even know I was in pain until after they injected the medicine- then I noticed a difference. I had three rounds of those injections and four months of physical therapy, massage therapy and yoga classes and now I haven’t had a headache in months, which is an all-time record for me, including the time before I was injured.

My chest rises and falls with the next breath and I am conscious of the place where I used to pin my missionary nametag. I was on my mission for less than 18 days, but it was much longer than that before I stopped reaching for the badge I thought I would wear for 18 months.

Deeper in my chest, I feel my heart beat a steady rhythm. I remember it pounding frantically against my ribs as I surveyed the scene of the accident: what was once a car resembled a crumpled soda can, standing perpendicular to the line of traffic in the middle of the road. I stood on the sidewalk, comforting my sister and clutching my best friend, both of us crying and swearing, but all, miraculously, alive.

The next time my heart pounded that hard, I was clutching the long-awaited envelope telling me where I was to spend the next year and a half of my life in service. My heart leapt with joy when I read, in disbelief, that I was going exactly where I wanted to go.

The last time my heart pounded that hard was in the missionary training center clinic, when a doctor told me that missionaries with Post-Concussion Syndrome usually get sent home. “That’s great,” I replied with a wry smile, “but I’m not going home. I am supposed to be here and I will fight to be here until I can’t be here any more.”

My heart has yet to pound like that again. It pumps to a new rhythm, instead: a stronger, steadier beat that may never again be so easily excited, but it won’t be so deeply distressed either.

Likewise, my breath continues at a constant rate, with the next inhale flowing down through my shoulders and arms and into my fingertips. I can hardly remember a time when I wasn’t engaged in battle with my left shoulder. Along with my head, it collided with the side of the car and absorbed its fair share of the impact.

“Pull your shoulder blades together,” the physical therapists say, “feel the bone rotate in the joint and keep pinning back that left shoulder.”

Becoming aware of the problem is half of the fight, but increasing my awareness didn’t make the pain go away. I quickly began to hate that left shoulder…and the other one, too. We came to a reconciliation when I laid my forehead against my yoga mat and an instructor told me to surrender to my body. “Notice the tension, but don’t try to correct it. Surrender to the pain and, eventually, it will go away.”

Down in my left hand, my fingers twitch; being away from the fingerboard of my instrument for so long has left them fidgeting like disobedient children. They tap out Bach and Bloch and Telemann–whatever is on my mind–and I have to remind them to be still.

Meanwhile, my right arm, that is, my bowing arm, has finally relaxed. The weight of your arm is what guides your bow across the strings of the instrument, but if you try to force weight into the bow with tension, your tone will suffer. So in my first music lesson after the accident– almost a year later–my tone was terrible. My teacher extended her hands and said “Give me the weight of your arm”.

When my arm refused to relax into her hands, she said, “I am strong; I can carry your weight.” My arm shifted a little but the weight wouldn’t give. “I can see that you are physically carrying a burden and you need to let it go. You have disappointed dreams, but that’s not your fault. You aren’t the same person now as you were before, but that’s okay; I am not the same person I was yesterday” she said, “you can let this go.”

I’ve seen innumerable physical therapists, internal medical doctors and emergency room technicians, a biofeedback specialist, a neurologist, and a pain psychologist, but only the Doctor of Music could get me to release my arm.

My breath travels farther and more freely now, down the back of my spine to my pelvis, which is rotated, but that doesn’t bother me anymore because I learned how to correct it. I set it in alignment and allow my next breath to travel down through my legs.

My legs, which have a good amount of mileage on them, felt soft and limp after weeks of inactivity when they put me on mental and physical rest. In the months leading up to my mission they got restless and twitchy, making me eager to run–I wanted to get out and just go. Their weakness and agitation have now given way to a greater sense of balance and strength, no longer shaped by pounding pavement, but by slower, more deliberate movement.

I finally send the next breath from my head all the way down to my feet. I once felt like my feet were swept out from under me. When that happened, all I could think about was the day when I could sprint forward on them again, but I consider their role differently now. My feet are my foundation, planted firmly beneath me, supporting me. I think about rooting down through my heels, my big toes, the sides of my feet. Once I find balance in them, they have the power to carry me forward, one step at a time.

My breath now flows freely from the soles of my feet back up to the top of my head, and I hear Andy’s voice again, saying, “and before you get on with your day, just take a moment to notice how you feel. Just take note of whether you feel any different from how you felt before you began this exercise. And then, in your own time, you can just gently blink your eyes open.”

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