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Untangling Taylor Swift’s ‘Teenage Love Triangle’ Trilogy

Portrait of Nate Jones

When I was in college, back in two-thousand- *cough,* I fell down a rabbit hole of internet romance fic. I would spend hours reading plaintext HTML pages detailing the love lives of fictional teenagers in minute, melodramatic detail. If I had to guess, I’d say I was escaping a drab, uneventful life chapter by immersing myself in a fantasy of a past that I’d never experienced. So I understand completely where Taylor Swift is coming from. Folklore , the album she secretly recorded during quarantine, then dropped with 24 hours of notice on July 24, finds Swift expanding her storytelling skills with a trio of songs that collectively form what she calls her “Teenage Love Triangle” trilogy. It seems to have been the A-list pop-star equivalent of firing up AO3 . “I created character arcs and recurring themes that map out who is singing about whom,” Swift explained in a YouTube Q&A celebrating the album’s release. “These three songs explore a love triangle from all three people’s perspectives at different times in their lives.”

Swift has stayed mum about exactly which tracks form the triptych, but her lyrical Easter eggs have not been too hard to decipher. As many fans have noticed, the trio of “cardigan,” “august,” and “betty” fits the bill. Let’s run down the three songs, figure out how they work together, and see if we can untangle this time-jumping teenage entanglement.

We begin with the album’s lead single, which comes first on the track list but seems to be occurring last on the timeline. “ Cardigan ” is narrated by a woman we’ll later learn is named Betty, looking back with hindsight on an intense relationship from her youth. (Swift says she was inspired by the image of “a cardigan that still bears the scent of loss 20 years later.”) Betty remembers being lost and insecure, and she says her ex, James, made her feel held: “When I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed / You put me on and said I was your favorite.” In her telling, they had a passionate romance that ended when James cheated on her. “Chase two girls, lose the one / When you are young, they assume you know nothing.”

But Betty says, “I knew everything when I was young.” She knew she’d wear the scars from the betrayal for years, that James “would haunt all of my what-ifs.” And she knew too that James would “miss me once the thrill expired.” That appears to be exactly what happened as Betty recalls the night James tried to win her back by showing up at her front door unannounced. We don’t find out what came next: The song fades out as Betty repeats the wistful refrain “I knew you’d come back to me.”

Now it’s time for James’s paramour to tell her side of the story. “August” is a bit like “Another Suitcase in Another Hall,” from Evita , in that it’s an “other woman” singing about the end of an affair, her relative unimportance in her lover’s life underlined by the fact that she doesn’t even get a name. (Fans have taken to calling her August, but since we’ve already got one song/name overlap, I prefer “Unnamed Narrator of ‘august,’” or “Una” for short.) She barely gets mentioned in the other two songs, but “august” is her chance to assert her own narrative of the summer fling. She was young and inexperienced, and if it wasn’t love, it was at least infatuation. She sings in languid, late-summer imagery: “Your back beneath the sun / Wishing I could write my name on it.”

Una remembers her younger self as mostly unassertive, recalling the times she “canceled my plans just in case you’d call,” and how, though she wanted her and James to be a real couple, deep down it was enough “to live for the hope of it all.” (There’s also a flash of a scene of Una pulling up next to James in a car, a hint she wasn’t entirely passive.) Eventually, the romance ended when the summer did, as “August slipped away into a moment in time,” and Una is left with a bittersweet revelation: “You weren’t mine to lose.”

Finally, it’s James’s turn. While the narrators of “cardigan” and “august” both look back on the love triangle with hindsight, “ betty ” takes place in the present tense, sung from the perspective of 17-year-old James. (In a sly twist, the acoustic arrangement and Swift’s miraculously revived southern accent call back to the music she released when she was 17.) The backstory too is very Taylor Swift –era Taylor Swift: The whole thing started after a school dance, where James ditched Betty, then, after seeing her dance with some dude, stormed out in a huff. As James was walking home, Una pulled up in a car “like a figment of my worst intentions,” and things went from there. Meanwhile, Betty found out what happened through a gossip named Inez, who will be important later. Betty was so upset that she switched homerooms!

As the song goes on, a contrite James mulls how to get Betty back: “The only thing I wanna do / Is make it up to you.” Swift pulls from her familiar bag of tricks here, giving us a rousing sing-along chorus and an exhilarating key change, and it’s easy to get caught up in the thrill of teenage romance. But she also throws in subtle signs that James is a bit too immature for the sentiment to stick. First, minimization: “Would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer thing?” Then, shrugging off responsibility: “I’m only 17, I don’t know anything.” Throw in some deflection: “Slept next to her, but I dreamt of you all summer long.” Finally, add in residual bitterness: “Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends?” The song ends on the same cliffhanger that “cardigan” does: James shows up on Betty’s doorstep, dreaming of a big dramatic reunion, as Swift rhymes “standing in your cardigan” with “kissing in my car again.”

So, that’s the basic plot — a love triangle worthy of Degrassi: The Next Generation . But there are still more questions to explore.

Why Are People Saying the Story Is ‘Queer Canon’?

This one’s easy to explain. Due to a conspicuous lack of male pronouns in the lyrics, plus the fact that Swift’s friend Blake Lively has daughters named James, Betty, and Inez, many fans have speculated that the James here is actually a girl, thus making these three songs the story of a lesbian love triangle . However, if you want to believe James is a guy, there’s evidence for that too: In “cardigan,” Betty remembers James “leaving like a father” and compares their breakup to “Peter losing Wendy” in Peter Pan . Ultimately, it works either way .

What Happened After James Showed Up at Betty’s Door?

Both “cardigan” and “betty” end with one big question unresolved: Did Betty take James back? I’m inclined to say no. There’s a small hint in the lyrics — Betty says that James “tried to change the ending,” tried being the operative word. It didn’t work; the ending was what it was. The music also points in that direction. Listen to the two songs casually, and you would not think they had much to do with each other, in tune or in tone. “Cardigan” is somber, contemplative, melancholy; “Betty” is a propulsive, major-chord jam. The gap is duplicated in the narrators’ worldviews: Betty is someone who notices everything, even unpleasant truths; James is someone who’s so good at lying that they can’t pick up that they’re lying to themselves. Consider too that our narrators are speaking to us from two different time periods. In everything that matters, these people are very far apart from each other. And there’s something about the way Swift sings “I knew you’d come back to me” in “cardigan” that pricks at my ears. It’s not triumphant; it’s a little sad, like she’s disappointed James lived up to her worst estimations.

When and Where Is All This Supposed to Be Taking Place?

Oddly enough, “cardigan” seems to be taking place in a slightly different universe from the other two. In “betty” and “august,” everyone’s in high school. There’s a homeroom, a school dance, and James is canonically 17 years old. The location feels suburban: James skateboards past Betty’s house, Una dreams of meeting behind a mall, and a lot of the action centers around cars. The first line of “august” mentions “salt air,” so we’re probably by the beach . But in “cardigan,” everyone feels slightly older. Betty reminisces about kissing in “downtown bars,” and the lyrics reference tattoos, the smell of cigarette smoke, and feminist literature. (Not that high-schoolers never do that kind of stuff, but collectively the tropes feel more early-20s.) And we seem to have moved to New York City : Besides the bars, there are “high heels on cobblestones,” and the High Line gets a shout-out.

How do we square this? If you’re the literal type, you can imagine these are three very advanced teenagers who live in Connecticut or New Jersey and take frequent trips into Manhattan. You could also take it as a sign that Betty and James did get back together, their tumultuous relationship spanning past high school and into early adulthood. I prefer to think that Swift’s employing a more impressionistic approach. “August” and “betty” are mentally caught up in that teenage moment, so their stories are set in the suburbs, where Swift grew up. “Cardigan” is a grown woman looking back on her younger self, so it takes place in the city that, for its author, symbolizes independence and maturity. (Fans have noticed that the succession of images in the track’s opening stanza mirrors Swift’s own aesthetics in her earlier album eras.) It’s her fantasy — she can write what she wants to.

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Arts & Entertainment

A detailed guide to ‘Folklore’s’ love triangle, explained through some of Taylor Swifts ‘Folklore’ and ‘Evermore’ songs

Taylor Swifts Folklore logo released in addition to her 2020 album.

Wikimedia Commons/Taylor Nation

Taylor Swift’s “Folklore” logo released in addition to her 2020 album.

Reagan Russell , Coeditor-in-Chief September 13, 2022

Taylor Swift surprise dropped her eighth album “Folklore” on July 24, 2020. For the first time in her career, Swift created multiple songs with overlapping storylines that were not related to her life. Her songs “august,” “cardigan” and “betty” tell the story of a high school relationship that ends due to a forbidden affair and an unloyal boyfriend. 

There are three characters within the songs all with different perspectives. Betty, the popular sweetheart, is the main character. She was in a relationship with James, the popular guy, until he cheated on her with Augustine, the rebellious new girl. 

Shortly after “Folklore” came out, Swift surprisingly dropped another album “evermore” five months after. The two sister albums showed many similarities and many fans were excited to have even more songs after Swift had been quiet before both albums were released. 

Fans quickly began theorizing other songs that could fit into the “Folklore” love triangle, including songs from both albums. Although there are only three songs confirmed to follow the story, there are many others that fit into a bigger storyline. 

For the bigger picture, follow the explanations listed below. The songs go in order of the story, beginning with James and Betty’s relationship and ending with the aftermath of everyone’s emotions. 

tolerate it

“tolerate it” is the fifth song off of “evermore” and is considered to be from Betty’s perspective. This song tells a story about a girl who puts all the love she hopes to see into her relationship only to not get anything in return. She feels her love is tolerated, not appreciated and that James does not respect her love or their relationship. She asks James to reassure her that none of this is true and that she is simply in her head, but she comes to the conclusion that her love will forever just be tolerated by James. 

illicit affairs 

“illicit affairs” is the 10th song off of “Folklore” and is considered to be from Augustine’s perspective. The song tells a story about a forbidden relationship. Two people lying to their friends so they can meet up in private. It describes the feelings they get when they are cheating, and the emotional damage it does to relationships. Augustine finds herself in a secret relationship with James. She knows it’s wrong, but James has a way of making her feel a way she had never felt before and wants to continue seeing him. 

“august” is the eighth song off of “Folklore” and is from Augustine’s perspective. The song tells a story about a girl chasing after a guy she knows is not hers. She wants to be in a relationship with this guy and assumes he would want to be with her, however once his intentions change she finds herself slipping away from him. Augustine, the girl who is supposed to hate relationships and feelings finds herself longing for a guy she felt vulnerable with. As summer comes to an end, Augustine finds herself slipping away from James because he was never hers to lose, a part of James always belonged to Betty. 

“mirrorball” is the sixth song off of “Folklore” and is considered to be from Betty’s perspective. The song compares someone to a mirrorball. A mirrorball is something for people to look at and admire but in reality what makes a mirrorball so beautiful is how broken it is. Betty is someone who puts on a brave face for everyone and constantly holds herself on this high pedestal so people don’t know how low she feels on the inside. Betty constantly looks happy and glowy but if people took the time to get close to Betty they would realize how much she is hurting and how broken she really is. 

“betty” is the 14th song off of “Folklore” and is from James’ perspective. 

The song tells a story about what ultimately led James to cheating on Betty, and how he plans to win her back. It describes someone who doesn’t know anything because they are still young. James likes to avoid crowds and people and when Betty’s favorite song came on, Betty chose to dance with another guy because James was nowhere to be found. James felt betrayed so he left the prom, which is where he ran into Augustine. He is talking to Betty throughout the song apologizing for what he has done and claims that all he wants to know is to be with Betty. He plans an elaborate plan to win her back and show Betty how much he cares.  

“cardigan” is the second song off of “Folklore” and is from Betty’s perspective. This song describes someone reflecting on their past partner and how they knew they were wrong for them but they had a way of making them feel like they are wanted. It describes someone who is young but knows everything. Betty trusted James despite the fact that he was immature. She no longer felt tossed aside or used when she was with James, which is why she stayed. After James cheated, it was no surprise to Betty. She knew James would eventually do this to her but is unsure if she can ever trust him again because he treated her like everyone else has. 

“gold rush” is the third song off of “evermore” and is considered to be from Augustine’s perspective. The song describes someone longing over someone who is extremely beautiful and is loved by many. She adores this man but doesn’t like she is feeling this way and ultimately decides that her and this guy could never work out. Augustine finds herself falling in love with James, this beautiful guy that has many other women interested in him. She wants nothing more than to be with him but she doesn’t like how he is making her feel. Since James is adored by many she knows that it would never work out between them. 

exile (feat. Bon Iver)

“exile” is the fourth song off of “Folklore” and is considered to be from both Betty and James’ perspective. The song tells the story of a guy who is confused about his feelings for a girl. He is unable to move on from her and wants to return to what they previously had but instead is greeted to an unfamiliar world where he has to learn how to live without her. The other side of the story is about a girl who is angry with her ex-boyfriend that is unable to move on. Just as the girl is beginning to grow, her ex is unable to be happy for her because he assumes they will eventually get back together. James continues to long for Betty and does not like adjusting to a world where she is not with him. Betty wants to be able to move on from James and she feels it is unfair for him to miss her just as she is moving on because she gave him several chances. 

“the 1” is the first song off of “Folklore” and is considered to be from Augustine’s perspective. The song tells the story of someone longing for their first love and reminiscing on what they could have been. Augustine is speaking to James and explaining how good they could have been together if he had given her a fair chance. She knows they were never meant to be, but still she wishes they could have been together because she knows they would have been something truly special. 

cowboy like me

“cowboy like me” is the 11th song off of “evermore” and is considered to be from Augustine’s perspective. The song tells the story of a thief who never planned on falling in love until she found a fellow thief like her. She knows what they are doing isn’t perfect but she knows this is a feeling she hasn’t felt before and will never feel again. Augustine fell in love with James when he was cheating on Betty. She knew that she was falling in love with a fellow rebel but it was worth it to pursue something she never intended on feeling for someone. 

coney island (feat. The National)

“coney island” is the ninth song off of “evermore” and is considered to be from Betty and James’ perspective. The song tells a story of two people realizing their relationship is coming to an end and they are no longer meant to be a part of each other’s lives. Betty is reflecting on what they once were and is apologizing for not doing more in the relationship to get James to stay. James agrees with Betty that it could have been something but still wants Betty to reconsider while she is moving on. 

this is me trying

“this is me trying” is the ninth song off of “Folklore” and is considered to be from James’ perspective. The song tells a story of someone who is lost in the new world they have found themselves in. They are trying their best but they never feel validated in what they are doing. James is pleading to Betty to try to explain to her that he is trying his best and is trying to prove to her that he still cares. He comes back to Betty without really knowing what to say but wanting her back. 

“closure” is the 14th song off of “evermore” and is considered to be from Betty’s perspective. The song tells the story of someone who is on the receiving end of multiple apologies, and although they are doing better, they do not forgive them. Betty is explaining to James that she has been listening to him and understands he is trying to make up for cheating on her but she still does not forgive him. She has made peace of the situation for herself and does not want James to get the same closure she got. 

evermore (feat. Bon Iver)

“evermore” is the 15th song off of “evermore” and is considered to be from Betty’s perspective. The song tells the story of someone who is reflecting on their past relationship trying to figure out exactly where they went wrong, and are trying to determine what they originally sought to get out of said relationship. Betty is questioning if she did anything wrong that would have caused James to cheat on her. She assumes that this feeling will stay with her forever but comes to the realization that this pain is temporary. 

“peace” is the 15th song off of “Folklore” and is considered to be from Augustine’s perspective. The song tells the story of someone who is looking to be with their love, but they know they will always lack a sense of comfort. Augustine knows James is longing for Betty but wants to prove to him that she is willing to die for their love, she wants to be enough. She knows that she can never bring him the peace that Betty gave him but is asking if her love will ever be enough. 

“ivy” is the 10th song off of “evermore” and is considered to be from Augustine’s perspective. The song is about someone who tries to stand alone and be independent but finds themselves entangled in this forribedden relationship. Their partner is in a relationship but they are willing to cheat simply to be with each other. Augustine tells the story of how she slowly becomes entangled with James. To her, it doesn’t matter who else is around or judging them, she wants to be with him and doesn’t know herself without him. 

my tears ricochet 

“my tears ricochet” is the fifth song off of “Folklore” and is considered to be from Betty’s perspective. The song is telling the story of a funeral. At the funeral the last person you would expect to be there is the one who is mourning her death the most. The speaker is explaining how she loved him until he “killed” her. Betty is asking James why he is wanting her back and wanting to be with her when he was the one to kill their relationship and hurt her. Betty does not want to take James back because she feels dead when she is with him. Betty explains to James that she loved him until he cheated on her. 

“hoax” is the 16th song off of “Folklore” and is considered to be from Augustine’s perspective. The song is about someone who spends their time believing in a faithless love. Her partner is not fully devoted to her but she still believes in their love and wants to be with them despite the emotions involved. Augustine still continues to believe in the love she has for James and wants him to know that she is still committed if he is. 

“mad woman” is the 12th song off of “Folklore” and is considered to be from Betty’s perspective. The song is about a girl talking about her emotions. She is angry with the people who have hurt her but she is talking to her previous lover explaining that it is his fault, if he didn’t like her mad he shouldn’t have made her this way. Betty is angry with both Augustine and James. She believes her emotions are not being respected by either of them, and assumes they hate her because of what they have done. She also explains that Augustine should be just as angry but knows James would not be with her if she was mad. 

it’s time to go – bonus track

“it’s time to go” is a bonus song on “evermore” and is considered to be from Betty’s perspective. The song is about someone deciding to separate themselves from a relationship and following their gut. Betty found it hard to originally separate herself from James. She didn’t want to walk away from someone she loved but she knew that leaving would lead her to much better. James wasn’t understanding why Betty was leaving him behind but Betty knew it was the right thing for her. 

“happiness” is the seventh song off of “evermore” and is considered to be from Betty’s perspective. The song tells the story of someone getting over a hard breakup by finding ways to be happy. They sing about how they were once happy in the relationship but will be happy now that they have left. Betty is getting her emotions in check and is happy because James is no longer a problem. 

long story short

“long story short” is the 12th song off of “evermore” and is considered to be from Betty’s perspective. The song tells the story of someone who is reflecting on their past to their new partner. They explain how they always found a way to get themselves in bad relationships and to sum it up they just weren’t with the right person, but they have found the right person now. Betty is in a new relationship and is all about her new partner. She explains to him her prior relationships but assures her new partner she is all about him and could not be happier.  

right where you left me – bonus track

“right where you left me” is a bonus track off of “evermore” and is considered to be from James’ perspective. The song tells the story of someone who is unable to move on from their partner and the fact that they are no longer together. The speaker wants to move on but is unable to process everything. James is unable to move on from Betty. When he learns about Betty’s new partner he is essentially crushed and knows he still feels frozen in time while she did not seem to be affected. A part of James will always remain in that moment hung up on Betty. 

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Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love

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What is love? 

It’s the question that relationship therapists, psychologists, and songwriters all have on their minds. Love isn’t just one act, feeling, or state of mind. Love can be expressed or felt in many ways. It exists in friendships, partnerships, in families, and in marriages. Despite this one idea being at the center of stories, songs, crimes of passion, and political campaigns, it is hard to break down what love “is” and what makes a relationship a loving one. 

Robert Sternberg made an attempt to break down love with his triangular theory of love.

What Is the Triangular Theory of Love?

The Triangular Theory of Love does not suggest that all love exists within a perfect, equal triangle. As you will see, the different aspects of love may appear or not appear in a loving relationship. The idea of a triangle, says Sternberg, is merely a metaphor. 

Sternberg's theory attempts to explain what is present in love, how love can be defined, and how feelings of love may change or evolve over time. Ultimately, we all feel love differently, but this theory helps to narrow down the ways in which we approach and identify our love for another person. 

About Robert J. Sternberg

Robert J. Sternberg is an American psychologist and Professor of Human Development at Cornell University. He has written many books on the subjects of love and intelligence. His most famous theories on this subject all have one thing in common: the number three. In addition to his Triangular Theory of Love, Sternberg has written about the Triarchic theory of intelligence and The Three-Process View, which describes different forms of insight. 

Three Aspects of Love (aka Triangular Model of Love)

Let’s talk about these three aspects of love. These aspects may or may not appear in your romantic, platonic, or familial relationships. Sternberg believes that the three aspects of love are intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment. 

Intimacy does not necessarily refer to physical intimacy. In this definition, intimacy is more about closeness. If you feel a close connection to a friend, family member, or partner, you experience intimacy with them. This is a good, warm feeling that many of us seek in and outside of romance. 

Passion is the aspect that refers to more physical closeness. This is the drive that leads us to be physically attracted to someone and want to engage in sexual activity. But not all motivation or arousal has to be of a sexual nature for two people to experience passion. 

Last but not least is decision/commitment. When you enter into a relationship with someone, you may decide that you love them. You may feel a commitment to stick by that person and continue the relationship in the long-term. Not all relationships have decision and commitment. You may decide that you love someone, but not commit to spending your whole life loving them. You may decide that you are committed to having a relationship with someone, but you do not necessarily love them. 

Eight Types of Love 

We all experience relationships that have one, two, or all three of these different aspects of love. Not all of these aspects are felt in the same capacity, but they still influence the way that we treat the other person or label the relationship. 

Sternberg labeled eight different types of love based on which aspects exist within the relationship. 

If a relationship is devoid of intimacy, passion, or decision/commitment, Sternberg says the relationship is actually nonlove. One of these aspects must exist for a relationship to have love. 

Liking may not seem like love - intimacy is present to some degree, but passion and decision/commitment are not there. You may like your coworker and feel that you can trust them at work, but you may not feel any passion. You may not have decided that you love them either, and don’t want to commit to the relationship outside of work. 

Infatuated love occurs when passion is present, but intimacy or decision/commitment is not. You may meet someone at a bar and be instantly attracted to them, but you do not feel warmth or closeness. No decisions or commitments are made, either. 

Empty love occurs when decision/commitment is present, but intimacy or passion is not. Maybe you decide to say that you love an estranged family member, even though you have not felt any warmth from them in a long time. Couples who have been married for a long time, and are only saying together for the children, may experience periods of empty love. 

Romantic love occurs with the presence of intimacy and passion. Let’s say you start to get to know the person from the bar a little better. Your passion drives a desire to become more intimate with them, and the intimacy continues to stoke the flames of passion. Things start to get romantic! 

Companionate love occurs when intimacy and decision/commitment are present. This could be the relationship of two very good friends who feel close to each other and have committed to being best friends in the long term. They act as companions, rather than lovers.  

Fatuous love occurs when intimacy is missing, but passion and decision/commitment are present in the relationship. I’ll go back to the example of the person at the bar. Let’s say, instead of truly getting to know this person, you decide to follow your passion and elope to Vegas shortly after meeting each other. There is no real intimacy or sense of warmth in the relationship, but you’ve made a commitment and the passion is still there!

Finally, we come to consummate love, also known as complete love. If all three aspects of love are present in the relationship, congratulations! You have reached a complete love. 

Shapes May Change Over Time

The presence or absence of these three aspects is just one way to classify or describe a relationship. Within these descriptions is a lot of wiggle room. The amount of passion or satisfaction that you may experience in one romantic relationship may be different than the amount of passion that you experience in the previous romantic relationship. These aspects may also change over time. We have all seen, heard, or experienced a love story that started out as a friendship. Maybe you did not have the intention of turning companionate love into a passionate relationship - but once that passion enters the relationship, there’s no denying that the relationship and love have changed. 

Maintaining Relationships 

Aspects of love may also fade out over time. A couple experiencing complete love may find themselves engaging in sexual activity less and the passion dying out. They are still committed to each other and have a warmth that keeps them together, but temporarily (or permanently) they just don’t experience that arousal or motivation to be physically intimate. 

Dr. Sternberg says that while it can be easy to achieve complete love with someone, the real challenge comes when you have to maintain it. Couples who have been married for years know this to be true. Love is not just a feeling; Dr. Sternberg says that it’s a verb. You have to work and work to maintain the “spark” and the commitment to each other through different trials and tribulations. 

In addition to “triangles of feeling,” Sternberg says that love can be experienced in “triangles of action.” Be aware that these two triangles are very different. You may feel passionate toward someone, but if you are not acting upon that passion, that passion may not serve to increase the other two aspects of the relationship. 

Define What Is Best For You 

When does infatuated love become romantic love? When does romantic love become complete love? What will it take for you to maintain complete love with someone? The answer depends on you. You must be the one to define what kind of love you want to experience and how that love is expressed or felt. We all have different “love languages,” for example, that categorize the ways that we share love with others. For someone, words of affirmation may be a sure sign of intimacy or decision/commitment. For others, words of affirmation are not recognized in the way that acts of service or gifts are recognized. 

Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love Today

When Reddit user CarsonF asked, "How much credence is still given to sternbergs triangular theory of love?" many users responded. One user said, "I can say, as a college level psychology teacher - It is still definitely taught in the textbook for introduction to psychology. Not sure about application in the lab or real world though." You can read the whole conversation here . 

How do you make your idea of love known to your friends, family, and partner(s)? Communicate! Get to know yourself. Talk to a therapist if you need to. This is a lifelong process that, like loving relationships, may change over time. Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love is a great place to start analyzing and reflecting on how you identify and maintain love in different types of relationships.

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Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night”: Theme of Love

  • Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night”: Theme of…

In the play “Twelfth Night,” Shakespeare explores and illustrates the emotion of love with precise detail. According to “Webster’s New World Dictionary,” love is defined as “a strong affection or liking for someone.” Throughout the play, Shakespeare examines three different types of love: true love, self-love and friendship.

“Twelfth Night” consists of many love triangles, however many of the characters who are tangled up in the web of love are blind to see that their emotions and feelings toward other characters are untrue. They are being deceived by themselves and/or the others around them.

There are certain instances in the play where the emotion of love is true, and the two people involved feel very strongly toward one another. Viola’s love for Orsino is a great example of true love. Although she is pretending to be a man and is virtually unknown in Illyria, she hopes to win the Duke’s heart. In act 1, scene 4, Viola lets out her true feelings for Cesario, “yet a barful strife! Whoe’er I woo, myself would be his wife (1).”

That statement becomes true when Viola reveals her true identity. Viola and Orsino had a very good friendship, and making the switch to husband and wife was easy. Viola was caught up in another true love scenario, only this time she was on the receiving end, and things didn’t work out so smoothly. During her attempts to court Olivia for Orsino, Olivia grew to love Cesario. Viola was now caught in a terrible situation and there was only one way out, but that would jeopardize her chances with Orsino.

It’s amazing that Olivia could fall for a woman dressed as a man, but because Viola knew what women like to hear, her words won Olivia’s heart. The next case of true love is on a less intimate and romantic scale, and more family-oriented. Viola and Sebastian’s love for one another is a bond felt by all siblings. Through their times of sorrow and mourning for each of their apparent deaths they still loved each other. They believed deep down that maybe in some way or by some miracle that each of them was still alive and well.

Many people, even in today’s society, love themselves more than anything else. “Twelfth Night” addresses the issue of self-love and how it affects peoples’ lives. Malvolio is the easiest to identify with the problem of self-love. He sees himself as a handsome and nobleman.

Malvolio believes many women would love to be with him. He likes to see things one way only, and he deceives himself just to suit his outlook on the situation. For example, in the play, he twists Olivia’s words around to make it sound like she admires his yellow cross-gartered stockings when she really despises them. Both Sir Toby and Olivia show signs of self-love but it is not as big an issue. Sir Toby only cares about himself and no one else, not even his friends.

He ignores Maria’s warnings about drinking into the night, and he continues to push Sir Andrew to court Olivia. Although he believes Sir Andrew doesn’t have a chance. Olivia cares about the people around her, but she also believes that no man is worthy of her beauty. She thinks she is “all that,” and that no one can match her.

Friendship is the third type of love expressed in “Twelfth Night.” The biggest and closest friendship would have to be between Orsino and Cesario. They barely knew each other at first, and before long Orsino was telling Cesario his inner love for Olivia. He even had Cesario running his love messages to Olivia.

The second friendship between Viola and the Sea Captain was not mentioned a lot, but they had a very deep bond between one them. They survived the shipwreck together and the Sea Captain promised to keep Viola’s idea about pretending to be a man a secret. If he had opened his mouth the entire play would have changed.

The third friendship, and definitely the strangest, is between Sir Toby and Sir Andrew Aguecheek. They are close friends but sometimes Sir Toby doesn’t show it. He sets Sir Andrew up and likes to get him into trouble. An example is persuading Sir Andrew to challenge Cesario to a dual, even though he is not a great swordsman and is unaware of Cesario’s ability. On the other hand, Sir Andrew appreciates Sir Toby’s company because he always lifts his spirits and makes him feel like a true knight.

Love plays a major role in “Twelfth Night,” and Shakespeare addresses true love, self-love, and friendship in a very compelling and interesting way. Love is great to read about because everyone deserves a little love. “Twelfth Night” is the true definition of love, and Shakespeare does a great job of explaining a somewhat difficult topic.

Related Posts

  • Hermann Hesse Narcissus and Goldmund: "Love" Theme
  • Twelfth Night: Malvolio Character Analysis
  • Merchant of Venice Act II: Theme of Love
  • Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night: Act I-V Summaries
  • Shakespeare's Twelfth Night: Deception & Disguises

Author:  William Anderson (Schoolworkhelper Editorial Team)

Tutor and Freelance Writer. Science Teacher and Lover of Essays. Article last reviewed: 2022 | St. Rosemary Institution © 2010-2024 | Creative Commons 4.0

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essay about love triangle

Writing a Love Triangle: Really Useful Links by Lucy O’Callaghan

Lucy O'Callaghan

Lucy O’Callaghan

  • 7 April 2022

A love triangle story plot has everything needed for an engrossing story. There are characters, conflict, and resolution; the three things that will hook your readers in. However, love triangles can very easily become predictable and cliched. I have put together some articles, podcasts, and YouTube videos that share some great tips and advice to take on board when writing love triangles.

  • https://www.savannahgilbo.com/blog/love-triangles

Love triangles are wonderful plot devices and can have beautiful, moving results when done effectively. Savannah shares some famous love triangles from well-known literature and gives the writer ten tips to consider when writing a love triangle. These include making both suitors a viable choice for the protagonist, fully developing all three characters involved, and establishing what’s at stake with either outcome. She also tells us that it is important not to neglect the rest of your story for the sake of your love triangle.

  • https://storygrid.com/love-triangles/

Story Grid tells us that while fans of the romance genre appreciate well-written love triangles, it is important to avoid being labelled as ‘predictable’ or ‘cliched’. This article shares tips such as you don’t have to start both relationships at the same time, exploring the different types of conflict within the love triangle, and knowing where your love triangle fits in with your story. Each love triangle will carry a certain weight to the story, and there has to be a reason for including it in your novel.

  • https://www.standoutbooks.com/love-triangles/

Readers love conflict and resolution and love triangles provide the perfect frame for these. Love triangles are timeless and fit into most genres. This article advises the writer to focus on the conflict, believability, resolution, unpredictability, novelty and depth, as these are the building blocks for any great love triangle.

  • https://www.abbiee.com/2019/02/writing-love-triangles/

The reason why most love triangles are annoying and boring is because they don’t dig into the character’s internal conflict. Don’t make your love triangle simple; challenge your characters, make them confront their fears and upend their entire lives. Abbie says that you should make your love triangle a catch 22 for your protagonist. It should go all the way to your protagonist’s deepest fear, which consequently is most likely what got them into this love triangle situation in the first place. The love triangle should bring to light the real conflict that’s been boiling below the surface for a long time.

  • https://www.wonderforest.net/blog-feed/how-to-write-love-triangles-the-right-way

Wonder Forest tells the writer not to make your love triangle simple, allow it to bring out the internal conflict. Ask yourself 5 questions including what is the protagonist’s inner conflict and how did it lead them into this love triangle, how high are the stakes and how hot is the fire beneath the protagonist’s feet to make a decision, and how does this love triangle cause all 3 characters to face their fears?

  • https://goteenwriters.com/2014/04/11/10-ways-to-deal-with-the-love-triangle-in-your-book/

This article gives you some ideas to do something different with your love triangle. Shooting someone, having the liar lose, someone giving up, or the hero picking neither are all suggested.

https://writingrootspodcast.com/2020/02/s7e4-love-triangles/

Love triangles are one of the most common tropes across all genres. They are often central to many YA and romance books but are also found in subplots of fantasy, sci-fi, mystery, and action novels. This podcast talks about how to use a love triangle effectively and leave your reader satisfied with the resolution.

In this video from Writer’s Block, they discuss different types of love triangles: the equilateral, the decoy, imaginary love triangle, real love triangle, and the two-person love triangle.

Phoebe talks you through 4 tips for writing an interesting and compelling love triangle.

Love triangles are great plot devices and by using these tips and advice you have the opportunity to create a compelling, swoon-worthy love triangle that readers will adore. I hope this week’s column has been useful for you. If you have any topics you would like me to cover then please get in touch.

(c) Lucy O’Callaghan

Instagram: lucy.ocallaghan.31.

Facebook: @LucyCOCallaghan

Twitter: @LucyCOCallaghan

About the author

Writing since she was a child, Lucy penned her first story with her father called Arthur’s Arm, at the ripe old age of eight. She has been writing ever since. Inspired by her father’s love of the written word and her mother’s encouragement through a constant supply of wonderful stationary, she wrote short stories for her young children, which they subsequently illustrated. A self-confessed people watcher, stories that happen to real people have always fascinated her and this motivated her move to writing contemporary women’s fiction. Her writing has been described as pacy, human, moving and very real. Lucy has been part of a local writing group for over ten years and has taken creative writing classes with Paul McVeigh, Jamie O’Connell and Curtis Brown Creative. She truly found her tribe when she joined Writer’s Ink in May 2020. Experienced in beta reading and critiquing, she is currently editing and polishing her debut novel. Follow her on Instagram: lucy.ocallaghan.31. Facebook and Twitter: @LucyCOCallaghan

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WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®

WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®

Helping writers become bestselling authors

Planning the Perfect Love Triangle

April 11, 2017 by Writing Coach

essay about love triangle

It’s spring. The sap is rising. Let us talk of love triangles.

These are potent story devices, even if the triangle isn’t the story’s main concern. When I work with authors, one of the most common issues is underdeveloped plot situations, and love triangles definitely fall into this category. So here are some questions for you to think about, to make sure you don’t miss an angle.

For linguistic clarity, I’ll assume the simplest configuration: an established couple and one outsider – the lover. Of course, you might have several nested triangles, but the principles are still the same.

Why does it happen?

Consider why the lovers are attracted. For the cheating character, it’s usually something missing or unsatisfied. What does the lover add? It might be a dash of excitement or danger in a life that’s become too routine, but it might be the other way round. Perhaps the lover represents security and safety – like a gangster’s wife seeking refuge with a protection officer or a police investigator.

Is this the first time the cheating character has strayed, or do they make a habit of it? Again, what are they seeking?

They might be a philandering scumbag or a normally faithful innocent who let a situation get out of control. Whatever the details, there will be a push-pull between two opposing forces, and this might open a crack to the bottom of their soul. Will they be forced to make a difficult choice and confront their own duality?

And turn the telescope around – what is the lover looking for?

Will they try to resist?

Decide if your cheating character is going to fall in eagerly or if they’ll resist. Fans of the Hero’s Journey approach will refer to this as ‘refusal of the call’. Whether your character resists or not, what makes them want to continue? What makes them want to stop? How might this change over the course of the story?

What dilemmas does the affair present?

In most kinds of fiction (i.e., not erotica), the most gripping story situations are dilemmas. Look for all possible complications where the affair will present difficult choices, especially in other important areas of the plot. An affair isn’t just satin sheets and snatched embraces. It can upset the rest of the characters’ lives too.

Do all the characters care equally as much?

Most triangles are not equilateral. Are all three characters equally committed to their relationships? Does one character care far more, while for another it’s just a game?

Three’s a crowd

essay about love triangle

What jealousies could arise? Is the interloper jealous of the cheating character’s official partner? Does the cheating character have a reason to be jealous or suspicious of the lover? Lies beget lies. The need to deceive can become corrosive. And remember the fundamental dynamic of the situation: we have two people embroiled with a third. In this case we might consider that the shape is not a triangle, but an arrowhead.

Do they all know each other in other contexts?

Much delicious conflict can be gained if the interloping lover already has a close connection with the other member of the couple. They might be business partners, or king and adviser, or members of a band, or old school friends.

Who must never find out?

Secrets are great currency. Which other characters might find out about the affair and what trouble might that cause? Do any of the characters have children who could be affected? Are the lovers teenagers in school, and what would happen if everything came out?

And what might the principal characters have to do to keep the secret? Could somebody be blackmailed?

Dormant parts of the triangle

Are all members active in the triangle at once? One might be dormant – perhaps a former lover who is estranged but still harbours powerful feelings. Broken couples can make for poignant stories of sacrifice or self-understanding, or even tragedy or revenge. A former lover who is cast out might become a significant antagonist.

Is part of the triangle invisible?

This may be stretching the definition of triangle, but a character might have an admirer they’re not aware of. If this attachment is sufficiently strong or obsessive, it might cause the ‘lover’ to act in drastic or extreme ways. As a variation, two characters may be competing for a third, who might be completely unaware he or she is inspiring such feelings.

Who is in control, and might this change?

Perhaps at first, the person who is cheating is most in control. After all, they decide to bend the rules of their existing relationship and take a new lover. But stories are more interesting if the balance of power shifts. Look for ways to do this. Could the lover become more influential? What about the original partner?

Push-pull – who will win?

What should the end be? Story endings always depend on your genre, and love triangles are no exception. Triangles are intrinsically unfair to some characters, and involve betrayals and selfish behaviour. Does your genre have a particular moral climate? Will cheating on a partner be tolerable to your readers? Certain kinds of romance would definitely disapprove. Certain kinds of thriller or noir tale would say affairs are par for the course. Who will be left unhappy or disappointed?

Does your story world require a sense of punishment, a setting to rights? Or is the affair just part of the rich and warped tapestry of life?

The end of the affair ?

If the affair ends a long time before the final pages, it’s not necessarily the last word. If the original partners get back together, there will have been a change. If the affair was discovered, trust will have to be re-earned, or perhaps the faithful partner will be shaken into doing new things. If the affair is not discovered, it might be a time-bomb throughout the rest of the story.

Develop all three characters thoroughly

Because the love triangle situation challenges characters so fundamentally, all three participants must be developed as rounded people. You need to understand their inner workings, life hopes, world views, role models, and comfort zones. Questionnaires might be particularly useful because if you fill in the same questions for all three characters it will encourage you to compare them directly and discover new areas for them to bond or clash. (Psst: I’ve got questionnaires in my book Writing Characters Who’ll Keep Readers Captivated: Nail Your Novel 2. )

essay about love triangle

Roz published nearly a dozen novels and achieved sales of more than 4 million copies – and nobody saw her name because she was a ghostwriter. A writing coach, editor, and mentor for more than 20 years with award-winning authors among her clients, she has a book series for writers, Nail Your Novel, a blog , and teaches creative writing masterclasses for The Guardian newspaper in London. Find out more about Roz here and catch up with her on social media.

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Reader Interactions

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April 14, 2017 at 5:06 pm

That’s a great post Roz and I will feel emboldened about development of the love triangle when I start working on my next novel – I see the possibilities for investigating the cracks that might open to the bottom of a character’s soul! I’m bookmarking this one. And thanks btw for showing me the way to this website. I love the idea of writers helping writers. More to investigate!

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April 16, 2017 at 3:56 pm

HI Maria! Great to see you here. Enjoy quarrying those cracks.

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April 12, 2017 at 8:14 pm

Fantastic post Roz. Indeed, triangles are tricky and all elements of the character’s motives for entering should be brought to light to give the reader insight into the characters in the triangle. Readers need to know if they should be angry at the characters or sympathize because of how the situations came about. 🙂 Sharing!

April 13, 2017 at 8:15 pm

Hi Debby! What an excellent point you raise – about whether the reader should be angry or sympathetic. Yes, we always want to think careflly about what we want the reader to feel. Thanks for a great comment.

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April 11, 2017 at 7:22 pm

Thanks, Roz.

I chuckled at your exclusion of erotica. I haven’t read much in the genre, but it usually doesn’t include much conflict or plot or motivation except for lust and desire and … well, you get the picture.

A novel sitting on my hard drive involves a love triangle. When I get to the edits, I’ll read this post again.

April 12, 2017 at 6:32 pm

Hi Kathy! I chuckled as I wrote it. There I was, sanctimoniously typing ‘what the reader really wants is dilemmas’, and a little voice reminded me that there was a rather significant exception. Thanks for stopping by!

April 11, 2017 at 3:30 pm

My pleasure, Angela – thanks for inviting me!

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April 11, 2017 at 12:44 pm

Such a TERRIFIC post, Roz! Triangles shouldn’t be easy to overcome, and this is best brought about by each partner supplying something that is missing from the main character’s life, a need that isn’t being satisfied. We’ve all see triangles where one choice is clearly not ideal and the main character simply has to become aware of it, but this can be an “easy out.” What does a protagonist do when their love is pulling them in two directions, and the paths are each worth exploring? That’s a tough one…and makes great reading. Thanks so much for posting on this. 🙂

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Love triangles are very common in Mexican tribes, and telenovelas are the proof of it. The idea has to come from somewhere right? One love triangle that I will be speaking about is the one in the telenovela by Rosa Salazar Arenas. In the telenovela, “Lo que la vida me robo”, we get to see the life of two men, and one women trapped in a love triangle. WOW! Surprised? Shouldn’t be, it’s not the first love triangle you will hear about. This love triangle takes place out in the country in Agua Azul, Mexico . The central character in the story is Montserrat Mendoza, a very beautiful, wealthy, young women. Whose life is controlled by her mother. The established mate is Alejandro Almonte, an older handsome men, and wealthy farmer. Finally, the …show more content…

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Choices — The Concept of the Love Triangle and Its Effects on the Choices of Edna in Robert Lee Mahon’s Article About Kate Chopin’s The Awakening

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The Concept of The Love Triangle and Its Effects on The Choices of Edna in Robert Lee Mahon's Article About Kate Chopin's The Awakening

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essay about love triangle

10 Tips for Writing Love Triangles (That Aren’t Cliché)

By Savannah Gilbo

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essay about love triangle

Fans of the romance genre appreciate a well-written love triangle. And it’s no secret that certain love triangles have shaped some of the most enjoyable stories in all of literature. 

But how do you write a love triangle that will satisfy readers? How do you avoid your love triangle being labeled as “predictable” or even worse, “cliche?”

In today’s post, I’m sharing my top 10 tips to help you write better, more realistic, swoon-worthy love triangles that readers will adore. 

But first, let’s make sure that we’re all on the same page about what makes a love triangle. 

Masterwork Analysis of Pride and Prejudice

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What is a love triangle?

A love triangle takes place between three (or more) characters. We’ll call them character A (the protagonist), character B (one suitor), and character C (the other suitor).

Characters B and C both love character A and compete for character A’s attention and affection. Character A loves both suitors (B and C), but can only choose one to b with.

Here are some examples of note-worthy love triangles:

  • Elizabeth Bennet has to choose between Mr. Darcy and Mr. Wickham ( Pride and Prejudice )
  • Bella Swan has to choose between Edward Cullen and Jacob Black ( Twilight )
  • Katniss Everdeen has to choose between Peeta and Gale ( The Hunger Games )
  • Rory Gilmore has to choose between Jess and Dean ( Gilmore Girls )
  • Bridget Jones has to choose between Mark Darcy and Daniel Cleaver ( Bridget Jones’ Diary )

Usually, there’s no relationship between the two suitors (character B and C), but sometimes they are friends, coworkers, or relatives.

Now that we’re on the same page about what a love triangle is, let’s talk about how to write one in your story. Here are my top 10 tips for writing better, more compelling love triangles that readers will adore and talk about for years to come.  

10 Tips for Writing Better Love Triangles:

1. fully develop each character involved in the triangle..

Your love triangle will be much more engaging to the reader when they know and care about each of the characters involved. In order for that to happen, you need to create three (or more) well-rounded characters . Each character needs to have their own goals, motivations, hopes, fears, values, comfort zones, and unique worldviews. All of these things are what help you create a push-pull dynamic that results in a compelling, and believable, love triangle. 

When you don’t do this work for each of the characters involved in the love triangle, one of two things will happen. The reader will either end up rooting for only one of the suitors to win your protagonist’s heart, or they won’t really care about the outcome either way. Not ideal, right?

2. Make both suitors a viable choice for the protagonist.

Your protagonist should have legitimate reasons for loving both suitors and for not being able to choose one over the other right away. If one suitor is the “perfect person” for your protagonist and the other is the “wrong choice”, it’s not a hard decision. There will never be any doubt or suspense in the reader’s mind over who your protagonist will choose. In other words, your love triangle will be predictable. Your reader will probably feel less invested in the character who is painted as the “wrong choice,” and more invested in the “perfect person.”

So, do the work to develop both of the suitors as if they are each a viable romantic interest for your protagonist and not part of a larger love triangle. What kind of people would the suitors be? How would they complement and clash with your protagonist? What could your protagonist’s future look like with either person?

3. Don’t drag out the decision or go back and forth too much.

There’s no quicker way to bore the reader than to have your protagonist waffle back and forth between two love interests for too long. Yes, your character should have a hard time choosing between both suitors, but drag this indecision on too long, and you’ll likely annoy the reader. 

Imagine if Elizabeth Bennet kept going back and forth between Mr. Wickham and Mr. Darcy over and over and over again. Would you be AS interested in the outcome? Probably not. 

Plus, this unending indecision could lead the reader to feel like your story is going nowhere. Readers need that sense of forward momentum to keep them engaged in your story and turning the page to see what will happen next. If you keep repeating the same conflict, the story will become boring and predictable. 

4. Have your protagonist actively choose someone to be with.

At some point, your protagonist will have to choose who they want to be with. If you make this decision too easy—for example, if one suitor dies or turns evil, leaving only one obvious choice—your reader will be disappointed. 

People read stories to see how a particular character deals with things. When you don’t let your character make an active choice, you’re not delivering the experience readers are hoping for. There’s no quicker way to squash the reader’s interest than by having some kind of Deus Ex Machina swoop in and make the decision easy for your protagonist.

5. Show your protagonist’s character through their choice.

In a well-written romance, the climax of the story is more than just a decision that determines whether or not two characters get together. It’s also an opportunity for your character to resolve his or her internal dilemma and decide what kind of person he or she wants to be.

For example, in The Hunger Games , Katniss has to choose between Gale, representing who she was, and Peeta, representing who she’s become. In Twilight , Bella has to choose between a relationship with Jacob and a relationship with Edward. Jacob represents a normal, human life, while Edward represents a more difficult, immortal one. In both cases, Bella and Katniss have to choose what kind of person she wants to be. And choosing the kind of person your protagonist wants to be is far more interesting than simply choosing which guy is better looking, right?

6. You don’t have to start both relationships at the same time.

Not all stories will need to have a protagonist who is involved with both love interests at the same time. This is completely dependent on the story you want to tell and how you want to structure it. Although it may seem more dramatic to have both relationships happening at the same time, there are other ways to build tension in your story.

For example, your protagonist might only have feelings for one suitor at a time, like in Pride and Prejudice . Or, both suitors might have feelings for your protagonist at the same time, like in Bridget Jones’ Diary . You can even play around with the idea of familiarity vs. instant chemistry like in Gilmore Girls . These options each provide fertile ground for some good conflict to arise.

7. Establish what’s at stake with the decision.

To keep your love triangle from becoming stale, make sure there’s something at stake for your protagonist. Ask questions like–what is there to gain or lose when this love triangle blooms? What will happen if your protagonist chooses one suitor over the other? Will there be any regrets that he or she has to deal with following the decision? How will this decision impact your overall story?

Believe it or not, all of these questions do matter when it comes to creating a love triangle! For example, in Twilight , if Bella wants to be with Edward for the rest of his immortal life, she needs to become a vampire, too. That decision comes with a lot of consequences. She’ll have to go through a painful transformation, distance herself from her loved ones, and watch her friends and family grow old and die. Talk about major stakes!

8. Explore the different types of conflict within the triangle.

In your love triangle (and in your global story), you should be able to use all three types of conflict to keep your readers guessing right up until the end. Your protagonist will experience internal conflict as they choose between suitors. They’ll also experience external conflict as the love triangle impacts other people in their lives. 

So, while you’re developing your love triangle, ask questions like–how does this affect my protagonist? How does this affect each of his or her suitors? How does this affect my protagonist’s friends and family? And how does this affect my protagonist’s world? If the effects of your love triangle can be felt throughout your story, then that adds unending value to its existence in your story.

9. Know where your love triangle fits in the story.

Before you start writing, it’s important to figure out whether you’re writing a romance novel or a story with a romantic subplot. This will determine the “weight” that the romantic relationship will carry in your story.

For example, in a romance novel, the relationship will be the main focus of the story. But that doesn’t mean that you get to ignore everything else that’s happening. In Twilight , Bella’s relationship with Edward takes center stage, but there’s still a lot going on around them. Bella is becoming better friends with Jacob, trying to fit in at her new school, dealing with life at her dad’s, and missing her mom, etc. There’s also the whole situation with James and Victoria who want to kill her (no big deal, right?). 

Compare that to The Hunger Games where Katniss’ romantic relationships are subplots. The main story in The Hunger Games does not revolve around the conflict of Katniss trying to decide whether she loves Peeta or Gale best. Instead, the driving force of the story is Katniss’ fight for survival. 

As you can see, both of these stories have much more going on than just the romantic relationships between characters. Each relationship carries a different “weight” in the overall story. As a result, each love triangle will carry a different weight, too.

10. Have a reason for including a love triangle in your story.

To write a love triangle that your reader will appreciate, it needs to exist for a reason beyond merely adding in drama. While it doesn’t have to be the sole focus of your story (as we determined in tip #9), it should have a solid purpose for existing. The less petty the purpose behind your love triangle, the more your readers will be invested in what happens. 

So, ask yourself—why do you feel it must be in your story? What’s the reason for its existence? Why does it matter to your characters? Does the existence or the outcome of your love triangle support your theme? Why should your reader care about the outcome of your love triangle?

Final Thoughts

Love triangles are wonderful plot devices that can have beautiful, moving results. If you keep these 10 tips in mind, you’ll be more than prepared to create a compelling, swoon-worthy love triangle that readers adore! Happy writing!

For more tips on writing fiction, check out the archive of articles on Savannah’s website . You can also subscribe to her free newsletter to get writing and editing tips delivered straight to your inbox each week. If you’d like to work with Savannah on your story, you can learn more or get started by booking a FREE 30-minute strategy call here.

How do you feel about love triangles in fiction? Do you have a favorite fictional love triangle? Do you have any additional tips or tricks for writing a great love triangle? Let us know in the comments below!

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essay about love triangle

Savannah Gilbo

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essay about love triangle

Love Triangles: Three Writing Tips

  • Writing Tips

You remember the catch phrase of Pythagoras, don’t you? You know, the 6th century BC Greek philosopher? Of course you remember. He’s known for saying, “Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.”

No, wait. This bit of wisdom comes by way of comedian James Acaster in his Netflix special Repertoire .

Acaster’s faux catch phrase has been rattling around inside my head for a while. There’s no better way to get it out of my head than to buckle down and write about love triangles.

It seems appropriate to look at them from three sides.

Love Triangles Tip #1

Determine which way the emotions flow with respect to the character at the top of the triangle.

The emotional flow can go one of two ways:

Either towards the top character. The top character is the object of desire of two rivals vying for his or her affection.

Or away from the top character. The top character can’t decide between two loves, where one or both are either actual or potential.

In the first case you’re writing a rivalrous triangle .

In the second you’re writing a split-object triangle .

I’m imagining an isosceles triangle where the top point is centered between the two sides. My idea is that the two sides must be balanced in order for the story to make sense.

essay about love triangle

An isosceles triangle has at least two sides of the same length. The upper left triangle also counts as an equilateral triangle because all three sides are the same length. So it’s a special case of an isosceles.

My point is: you need to have either two equally powerful rivals or two equally attractive objects of interest to make the triangle work.

Love Triangles Tip #2

Determine the relationship between the two rivals / two objects of interest.

In a rivalrous triangle , the two rivals likely know one another. Two brothers, two co-workers, two team-mates, two sworn enemies going after one love interest.

Note: imagine the sexes/genders of the three participants any way you want. Historical circumstances may influence your choices.

In a Victorian setting, I can easily imagine an aging spinster – one who has attained the ripe old age of 25 – living with a dear companion, another spinster. Enter a man who takes a shine to Spinster 1. Now Hero and Spinster 2 are rivals for Spinster 1’s affections. Who will win out? The one offering romantic love or the one offering sisterly love? The bond between Spinster 1 and Spinster 2 has to be deep to generate believable conflict. And Hero can’t be just any man.

Now imagine two enemies going after the same love interest. One or both of their motives may have less to do with the qualities of the love interest. And everything to do with their hatred for each other and their desire not to let the other have want they want. In this case, your story may be more about the relationship between the rivals than anything they do to win the love interest’s affections.

In a split-object triangle , the two objects of desire may or may not know one another.

Is the top character married and has a secret (or not so secret crush) on a co-worker the spouse has never met? Or does this character lust after the next-door neighbor. In which case the spouse likely does know this person either a little or a lot.

My point is: you need to know how the two rivals /objects of interest interact or don’t interact in order to know what relationships to develop. Which brings me to Tip #3.

Love Triangles Tip #3

Determine why you have chosen to write about this particular relationship structure.

I get that we writers sometimes just want to try something we’ve never tried before. Along the lines of “Wouldn’t it be cool if …?”

I would have loved to be at the developmental meeting of a group of Hollywood writers that might have gone something like this: “I propose we make a series about a serial killer. But here’s the thing. We’ll make him sympathetic. And the way we’ll do that is to make him a serial killer only of other serial killers. Who’s up for the challenge?” Yeah, cool. Everyone raised their hand.

Dexter ran on Showtime and CBS from 2006 – 2013.

essay about love triangle

Great concept. Difficult series to end satisfactorily

I have the “Wouldn’t it be cool if …?” thought all the time. But then at some point I have to get serious. Why am I wanting to write about a love triangle? What emotions, what sets of emotions am I wanting to explore?

The dark side of a rivalrous triangle features jealousy, hatred, revenge. Lots of good dirt to sift through in these powerful emotions.

The light side might glow with a May The Better Man Win theme. Then it’s a question of exploring the Better Man’s nature, what he needs to do to step up and win the day.

The dark side of a split-object triangle rankles with betrayal. And a knife right between the shoulder blades.

The light side revolves around the classic dilemma: Scrumptious Bad Boy v. Dependable But Boring Husband Material. A head v. heart conflict.

The more modern version might be: High-Powered Career v. Marriage and Babies.

In short, the light side of the split-object triangle explores the Fork in the Road. Always a fun and angsty subject for a novelist to explore.

The Road Not Taken is, famously, the province of poets.

essay about love triangle

Robert Frost (1874-1963)

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To live for the hope of it all: the folklore love-triangle

Taylor’s surprise eighth studio album, folklore , dropped in July of 2020. That summer, her music gave us the imagery of cobblestones in the garden, clandestine meetings, sweet tea, ivy, and far off lands. She also used this album to present a number of both fictitious and biographical stories, including the one that touched the masses; that of a teenage love-triangle, the emotion and passion of adolescent feelings and forbidden romance.

This is that story, as pieced together from lyrics and the narrative provided from Taylor herself.

“betty” – written by Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn

We begin on the doorstep of a girl named Betty, where a 17 year old boy, James, begs for her forgiveness after making what has so far been the worst mistake of his life. Summer has ended, and at Betty’s back to school party, James shows up to explain what happened when he cheated on her with a mystery girl. This song is James’ final plea, using his immaturity as an excuse for what he did.

I was walking home on broken cobblestones Just thinking of you when she pulled up like A figment of my worst intentions She said “James, get in, let’s drive” Those days turned into nights Slept next to her, but I dreamt of you all summer long

Watch Taylor Swift's Debut Performance of “betty” at the ACMs | Pitchfork

Taylor performs “betty” at the ACMs

James and Betty went the school dance together, but he left early by himself. That’s when “she” pulled up right next to him. He spent the summer with this girl, and the rumors flew as they do in high school. Betty eventually hears from her friend Inez, and proceeds to react as anyone would after finding out they got cheated on.

In this song, James confirms it was true. He asks her if she’ll ever forgive him, or if she’ll ever believe him when he tells her it was just a summer thing. He tries to convince her that despite all the time he spent with this other girl, he dreamt of Betty the whole time. His point, “I’m only 17, I don’t know anything, But I know I miss you”.

Taylor went into detail on country radio, “[James] has lost the love of his life, basically, and doesn’t understand how to get it back.” She said using one of the songs to tell it from the teenage boy’s point of view was a way connect to everyone’s individual perspective. “I think we all have these situations in our lives where we learn to really, really give a heartfelt apology for the first time. Everybody makes mistakes, everybody really messes up sometimes..”

This song means a lot to me. To hear something from the person who is at fault in the situation is a game changer in terms of storytelling. The song swells with pure confession and romantic country twang, it seems genuine. However, we don’t get to hear Betty’s response.. or so we thought.

cardigan – written by Taylor Swift and Aaron Dessner

Taylor explains in Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions that “‘cardigan’ is Betty’s perspective from 20 to 30 years later looking back on this love that was this tumultuous thing.” This reveals that the most heart-wrenching and well written song on this album, about lessons learned and longing sadness, is Betty’s reflection on her relationship.

Folklore by Taylor Swift: 6 songs that explain the new album - Vox

“cardigan” music video

We learn that James’ efforts worked, and that night he stood on her doorstep begging for forgiveness, she forgave him. “In my head, I think Betty and James ended up together, right? In my head, she ends up with him, but he really put her through it.”, Taylor said. However, although she forgave James, she clearly never forgave herself, nor did she forget.

I could go on for hours, reflecting on each and every lyric of this song and what it means to this character and to myself, but I’ll just choose a few of my favorites.

This is my favorite part. Everyone knows what it’s like to sit beside your phone, constantly checking for the phone call or text. For that ounce of attention from the person you like. And when you finally get that halfhearted acknowledgement, it’s somehow enough to keep you going. To cancel plans in hopes of having others. SHE LOVED HIM!!! This poor girl cared for James and simply wished he cared for her too.

Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions review – A triumphant debut

Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions on Disney+

Although “cardigan” is probably the most well written and poetic song from folklore , “august” did the most for me. It showed me to look at the bigger picture in every situation, to look at it from everyone’s point of view.

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This is the kind of music analysis I could spend hours reading! You did an amazing job of going in-depth and relating it to your own personal thoughts and emotions. This trio of songs also reminded me that everyone sees things differently, and the same situation could conjure different feelings.

I really loved your analysis and how you see these connected songs. Your retelling was really engaging!

Hello! This was a beautifully written blog post of the analysis of the Folklore Love Triangle. I have only been a fan of Taylor Swift for a little over a year now, so I’m a tad bit late to knowing and understanding all of the stories within her songwriting. As for the Folklore Love Triangle, I have heard bits and pieces of the songs connected, but I never understood or heard how there were intertwined. Your deep dive analysis of the Folklore Love Triangle is simple to understand and made my perspective of those three songs change. Originally, I I saw James as the “good guy” who just wanted forgiveness over a mistake he had made and how the thought and intentions behind his actions mean more than what he had done. After reading your analysis on Cardigan and August, I’ve realized that regardless of his intention or thought process after the fact, he had hurt more than one person. The hurt that Betty and Augusta/Augustine were feeling is beyond comparable to the hurt James must have felt. I think it is important to make note of the fact that both girls believed that he had loved them, and how James was never clear with either girls until the end of who he “truly loved.” Overall, the Folklore Love Triangle is a triad of beautiful and poetically written songs that thousands of fans can relate to or emotionally understand in some way, and for that it is some of Taylor Swift’s best written pieces of music.

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essay about love triangle

Twelfth Night

William shakespeare, everything you need for every book you read..

Desire and Love Theme Icon

Every major character in Twelfth Night experiences some form of desire or love. Duke Orsino is in love with Olivia . Viola falls in love with Orsino, while disguised as his pageboy, Cesario . Olivia falls in love with Cesario. This love triangle is only resolved when Olivia falls in love with Viola's twin brother, Sebastian , and, at the last minute, Orsino decides that he actually loves Viola. Twelfth Night derives much of its comic force by satirizing these lovers. For instance, Shakespeare pokes fun at Orsino's flowery love poetry, making it clear that Orsino is more in love with being in love than with his supposed beloveds. At the same time, by showing the details of the intricate rules that govern how nobles engage in courtship, Shakespeare examines how characters play the "game" of love.

Twelfth Night further mocks the main characters' romantic ideas about love through the escapades of the servants. Malvolio's idiotic behavior, which he believes will win Olivia's heart, serves to underline Orsino's own only-slightly-less silly romantic ideas. Meanwhile, Sir Andrew Aguecheek , Sir Toby Belch , and Maria , are always cracking crass double entendres that make it clear that while the nobles may spout flowery poetry about romantic love, that love is at least partly motivated by desire and sex. Shakespeare further makes fun of romantic love by showing how the devotion that connects siblings (Viola and Sebastian) and servants to masters ( Antonio to Sebastian and Maria to Olivia) actually prove more constant than any of the romantic bonds in the play.

Desire and Love ThemeTracker

Twelfth Night PDF

Desire and Love Quotes in Twelfth Night

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What You Need To Know About Writing A Great Love Triangle

  • by Rebecca Langley
  • August 19, 2019

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Everybody loves a good love triangle… as long as they’re not part of it. It’s a sad fact of human nature: other people’s drama makes us feel better about our own lives. Not only that, when things are complicated, they need to be resolved. There’s nothing a reader loves more than conflict and resolution , even if the ‘resolution’ comes in the form of shock, death, infidelity – all manner of ‘bad’ endings can still be satisfying if the conflict has been set up right.

The love triangle provides the perfect frame for conflict and resolution. Done right, a love triangle can mean double success: readers enjoy the complexity, the ‘oh my gosh, I can’t believe they did that’ factor, and the deep sigh of satisfaction when everything’s finally resolved.

Done wrong, a love triangle feels cheesy or cliché and can make readers run faster than another ‘dark and stormy night’.

Even so, love triangles are timeless features of many stories. Even the less likely genres – action, horror, and children’s lit – include them. They can be a main feature or an enriching subplot; adding tenderness or agony, joy or heartache, purpose or distraction to any narrative. Of course, that doesn’t mean they’re easy to write, which is exactly why we’re here…

Conflict is the vital ingredient for storytelling. Few stories can manage to be interesting without it. Relationships are flat without it. Love triangles are 100% boring without it. However you configure your love triangle, there should be some struggle, discomfort, inner strife, and maybe a duel or two.

You may write a classic triangle in which two parties vie for the heart of the third, in which case conflict is inherent. Or the two adjacent parties may be completely unaware of each other, and the fulcrum character struggles to make a choice. If you’re writing a modern moral exposé in which the polyamorous throuple is perfectly content to buck the norm and live in three-way harmony, great… but there must still be conflict. It may come by way of one character struggling to break free from the mores of their upbringing, or perhaps the conflict is with the characters’ families or society at large.

To create conflict that feels realistic, don’t simply decide what the conflict will be and try to shoehorn it into an existing story line. Take the story and characters that you have so far and ask open-ended questions. How might So-and-so’s actions affect the people around them? Who stands to lose something in this situation? Are they aware that they stand to lose something? Are there any secrets anyone’s protecting, and who absolutely can’t find out what those secrets are? What’s the internal struggle for each character? Does each person truly know what they want ? Who has the strongest motivation and why? If other characters are less motivated, what does motivate them?

Finding the desire will lead you to the conflict. Take your characters out of the story for a while and imagine them in the real world. Give them the faces of close friends and family members. When you imagine people you know intimately in the situations you’ve set up for your characters, it can be easier to access their potential emotions and responses.

Believability

Part of creating convincing conflict is setting up a legitimate choice in the first place. Romantic legitimacy is, admittedly, a subjective matter. There are people who look at the love triangle from The Phantom of the Opera and balk: how could anyone seriously consider the Phantom? He’s a murderer, for crying out loud! Others pine after the Phantom’s impeccable tenor and dark intrigue, empathizing with Christine’s anguish and yet feeling a sense of rightness when she opts for the more upstanding Raoul. Who knows? There may be a Phantom fan base somewhere wishing she had chosen him in the end.

So there will be some subjectivity at work in any story, but most people should relate to the reasoning behind your character’s behavior and decisions. All points of the triangle should have genuine appeal.

In the Phantom’s case: you feel sorry for him, his talent is unparalleled, his love seems – on some level – genuine. Raoul, on the other hand, is a good guy. He really loves Christine, he’ll take good care of her, he doesn’t kill people, and he’s seriously rich, which can’t hurt. For most fans of the story, there’s a genuine pull, though it may be tempered by an undercurrent of, ‘Wait, she won’t seriously end up with the Phantom… will she?’ Christine’s a good girl. Had she been Sandra D, she might have gone for the bad boy, but readers ultimately know where she’ll land. Until then , they’ll feel the same pull she feels. They’ll feel her pain. There’s legitimate desire in both directions. How different (and boring!) the story would be if the Phantom were a straight-up murderer with no charm, no voice, no nothing. Make sure your readers feel just as torn as your character(s).

The moment of resolution may vary from one plot to another, but it should always be near the end . Don’t give away your hand early on. Only Moulin Rouge ever pulled that off, and probably exclusively because of Ewan McGregor’s voice and Nicole Kidman’s eyes. The placement of resolution may offer a unique quality to the final pages of your story, depending how you choose to do it. Try writing the story as it comes to you, and then cutting the final paragraph, page, or even chapter, depending on how long your instinctual resolution took. Consider the effect of a more abrupt ending. Is it more intriguing? More poignant? Too truncated? Too confusing?

Imagine, too, an ending without resolution. If your love triangle is a subplot, try resolving the main conflict and leaving the love story still unraveled. See the recently concluded sitcom Crazy Ex-Girlfriend for a story where (spoilers) the protagonist ultimately doesn’t choose any of her three love triangle points, but all four characters resolve their stories in a satisfying way. (Hint: it turns out that hooking up wasn’t the be-all and end-all of their journeys.)

Remember, too, that since you made all points of the triangle feel like valid choices (at least as far as their love interest is concerned) the reader probably cares about where they all end up. Don’t feel the need to ruin a character’s life just because they didn’t end up with the protagonist. On the other hand, don’t overextend in order to give a side character a blissful ending (by, for example, making it so they actually loved a magic baby the whole time). It’s enough just to show how that one decision didn’t end their whole life.

Finally, don’t cheat. If you kill a character or have them move overseas because you can’t figure out how to resolve the conflict, and they weren’t going to die or move overseas anyway, it won’t feel real.

Instead, spend some more time getting to know your characters. Use some of our resources , run your characters through a personality assessment , or roleplay a Q&A session to better understand your characters’ desires, barriers, strengths, and weaknesses.

Unpredictability

Write like you don’t know what’s going to happen. In fact, maybe you shouldn’t know what’s going to happen. Instead of deciding, ‘Okay, Pete, Joe, and Mary have this thing. Pete’s the protagonist and he’s a super-swell guy so, in the end, Mary picks him. Joe might move to Botswana or die or something,’ work on the characters . Ask about their goals in life, their goals in the timeline of the story, their fears, and their growth arcs from ‘once upon a time’ to ‘the end.’ By the end of the book, how much will they have grown? Will they achieve their goals, or at least be closer to doing so?

What happens in real life relationships isn’t determined by The Relationship. It’s determined by the people in the relationship(s). We wouldn’t think, in real life, that a man having an affair is predestined to leave his wife for his lover or vice versa. The man’s character, growth, desires, values, friendships, children (or lack thereof), etc. will influence his life choices – including whether or not to carry on the affair. Too often in writing, authors aspire to force a plot onto their characters, rather than allowing their characters to influence the direction of the plot.

Your readers will enjoy the conflict and resolution more if they feel like it’s their own conflict. They’re not sure how things will end, or even how they want things to end. They’re deeply immersed in the story, taking ownership over the conflict and thus feeling real relief – or perhaps total frustration and heartbreak – at its resolution.

Novelty and depth

In adult fiction, cliché love triangles are a death sentence. To make sure your story doesn’t fall into well-worn ruts, do these two things:

First, don’t let movies or YA fiction guide you (unless you’re writing screenplays or YA fiction, obviously). Other factors influence the success of these genres. On screen, good acting excuses a multitude of narrative sins. In the case of YA fiction, the target readers aren’t sick of cliché love triangles yet – they only just discovered them.

Second, focus your energies on writing a strong story and strong characters. It’s hard to pull off a romance that’s just a romance anymore. The Notebook is probably as close as we’ve come in recent years. Its unique twist makes its heavy reliance on romance more palatable. In most cases, though, romance has been done and done again. The characters need depth and the story needs intrigue. 

Keeping your characters’ motivations in the foreground will help. Think about the ‘why’ for everyone. Why are they where they are in life? What are they hoping for deep down? How does their situation affect other people? Consider the real, deep impact of secrecy, blackmail, abuse, manipulation, lust, sorrow, neglect, passion, split affections, psychosis, love, and hatred. Put aside whatever memories you have of love triangles in literature and other media, and ask instead about the people and values your characters represent.

Triangulating love

With conflict, resolution, believability, unpredictability, novelty, and depth as your building blocks, you’ll be sure to create an alluring love triangle – one that won’t make readers groan and toss the book aside. Be intentional about the relationships in the triangle, and be ready to admit if they’re not working for your story. You may need to reinvestigate the source of conflict, or spend a little more time getting to know your characters as people rather than pawns, but once you nail the characters involved and what they want, the hard part is over.

Have you written a love triangle before or are there any in literature that you love/hate? Share in the comments below (I always love hearing from you) and check out The 3 Golden Rules Of Writing An Amazing Romance and Writing Romance: Why Perfect Men Make Boring Heroes for more great advice on this topic.

  • Characters , Protagonist , Romance

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Rebecca Langley

Rebecca Langley

5 thoughts on “what you need to know about writing a great love triangle”.

essay about love triangle

A good article, but I would argue that love triangles in YA are just as risky as in the adult genre. The love triangle has become a huge cliche in YA literature, and a large portion of young adult readers hate it. YA readers have already read countless love triangles, and many are frustrated by this, so if you’re putting in a love triangle it should be very different than typical.

essay about love triangle

A very fair point, Juliette, thank you for bringing that up. I was probably thinking of allure of the love triangles in the Twilight and Hunger Games series, for instance. They thrived despite being pretty formulaic (at least in the case of the Hunger Games we can chalk this up to the creative twist on the post-apocalyptic genre).

But you’re right: YA readers are as put off by the cliche as their older bookworm counterparts. We could extend your remark to every literary device that’s been overdone. You can make anything work, if you do it uniquely.

All my best, Rebecca Langley

essay about love triangle

Hi and yes I have written a love triangle for a major character, but not the main protagonist. I feel it is unique. Girl meets boy. She has always dreamed of a handsome prince coming and taking her away from her present boring life. This does not happen. Abductors kidnap her brother and sister (the agenda of these kidnappers comes out later – the major story line) as well as her. (Turns out her abduction was a complete mistake!) But she falls in love with one of the men and decides he is the one. There is something holding him back. You guessed it. There is another love interest (fiancee) at home. (Reader knows it is something like this) She is furious about the duplicity on their return

However once the sister of this girl explains about the life and virtues as well as the sadness of her sister’s life, the furious fiancee’s heart melts and she dumps her man with disgust as she knows her rival is a better woman. Then she decides her rival’s brother is the one for her, but he is appalled at her blatant claim on him. Heaps of conflict there even though it’s obvious this sparring couple are meant to be.

However there is at least one character with his own agendas who is displeased his daughter has dumped her fiancee and focused on the wrong man.(he thinks) This brother of both ladies, wants to take the remaining sister back home but she is to be married off to someone. This someone only wants the other sister who is now going to marry her sweetheart kidnapper. (very good reasons for his desire for the other sister)The substitute sister volunteers herself because she knows her sister loves her man, although she desperately wants to return home with her brother. Her brother will resort to murder to save his sister and take her home.

Basically there are two triangles enmeshed in each other. The success of one, destroys any hope of the other resolving/happening. Yet if the other is successful , as in murder being committed and two escaping, then the feisty ex-fiancee will be heartbroken and this has already happened once.

It is an event story set in a past time, with mystery involved, so the fact it has love triangles is just part of the subplots and character driven story-line.

essay about love triangle

I completely disagree that romances on their own don’t work. Romance novels sell at a much higher rate than those of any other genre. I don’t personally write romance, but I do read it on occasion. The only self published authors I know who make a living at fiction are romance authors, in fact.

essay about love triangle

You can’t write a great love triangle, because the concept is inherently garbage. Try actually learning how to build proper character development instead of trying to force it with love rival nonsense.

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Industrial Scripts®

How To Write a Captivating Love Triangle: The ULTIMATE Guide

Hunger Games Love Triangle

How To Write a Love Triangle

This article will offer some key pointers on that most time-trodden (and wildly successful) cinematic device – the love triangle – and hopefully assist those looking to craft an original and effective one.

  • Using a few films which incorporate love triangles into their narratives, we will discuss the key aspects to a successful and interesting love triangle.
  • We will highlight how love triangles are typically a plot device for romance films. Many of these are romantic-comedies, but not exclusively.
  • As we will discover, this plot device is also often employed in other genres, such as Action and Musicals. 

We will look to some of the following films for examples:

Famous Film Love Triangles…

 1.  Bridget, Mark and Daniel ( Bridget Jones Diary )

 2.  Bella, Jacob and Edward ( Twilight )

 3.  Katniss, Peeta and Gale ( The Hunger Games )

 4.  Carrie, Charles and Hamish ( Four Weddings and a Funeral )

 5.  Iris, Jasper and Ethan ( The Holiday )

 6. Satine, Christian and the Duke ( Moulin Rouge! )

 7. Rose, Jack and Cal ( Titanic )

These are just a few characters part of famous love triangles.

What Is A Love Triangle?

As the name suggests, love triangles centre on love and conflict .

“ A love triangle (also called a romantic love triangle or a romance triangle or an eternal triangle) is usually a romantic relationship involving three or more people.”

Love triangles typically centre on a protagonist and their two love interests.

  • However, all three characters are fully developed.
  • The love interests must both have equal development and be equally suitable for the protagonist. They must make the ‘decision’ for the protagonist very difficult.

Despite both being suitable, they tend to be very different. Stereotypically, there is the good guy vs the bad guy. This is most evident in a film such as Bridget Jones Diary .

The plot device hooks the audience and adds drama to the seemingly perfect, smooth narrative. Love Triangles throw the protagonist off their path and help make them appear layered, relatable and real.

Love triangles feature in other genres: dramas, musicals and action, but the underlying common theme is romance despite love not always being felt by all parties. Moulin Rouge!, Leap Year, The Great Gatsby  and Titanic  illustrate this.

For Example…

  • In Moulin Rouge! , the love triangle is between Satine, Christian and the Duke. The romance is between Satine and Christian. However, the Duke is offering Satine freedom, success and fame.
  • In Leap Year , the love triangle is between Anna, Declan and Jeremy. As with Moulin Rouge! a romance develops between Anna and Declan. However security, status, and wealth are what Jeremy is offering her.
  • In Titanic , the love triangle is between Rose, Jack and Cal. The ‘Love Triangle’ occurs due to Rose’s engagement to Cal- someone who is offering her financial stability and status. However, Rose loves Jack, a working-class man who is not ‘suitable’ for her.
  • In The Great Gatsby , the love triangle occurs between Daisy, Gatsby and Tom. As with the previous example, Daisy is married to Tom for status, wealth and security, however she loves Gatsby .

With all three of the love triangles above, the main concepts to focus on are the protagonists’ NEED VS their WANT .

This is a key aspect to character development and creating an arc in general. And it’s an important factor to consider when writing a love triangle.

GREAT GATSBY Trailer (2012) Movie HD

What’s The Point In Writing Love Triangles?

Typically, people who enjoy romance films tend to favour love triangles in the narratives as it adds a layer of drama and conflict for the protagonist .

But why write a love triangle?

  • A plot device to add drama to the narrative.
  • To engage the audience by adding new characters/ altering the seemingly simple narrative.
  • Making the protagonist more interesting and layered – revealing their inner conflicts.
  • Show the protagonist’s true nature/ personality.
  • Involve the viewer- they themselves taking a side on which love interest is most suitable.

The Romance-Comedy Genre In Writing A Love Triangle:

As we have already discussed, the rom-com tends to lean on the love triangle plot device. So, we wanted to briefly outline a few aspects of the rom-com narrative structure with regards to love triangles.

Elements Of A Rom-Com Love Triangle…

  • The Set-up: The protagonist (character 1) is introduced as being ‘out of love’ and desiring a partner who is not interested/available (an obstacle). The protagonist has an unfulfilled desire.
  • Meet Cute 1: There is a catalyst/inciting incident in the narrative. Character 1 meets their first love interest (or is already seeing/fantasising about them (i.e. Bridget Jones) and develops feelings for them. OR in some cases, there is an obstacle – the other person already has someone.
  • An Incident/Event…occurs bringing the characters together: There is a development in the narrative. They happen to meet again. Typically followed by a hook in which the sexual tension is confronted.
  • Turning point 1: Characters are together/dating. Romance and the narrative appear smooth.
  • Conflict…which leads to a dark moment : A conflict between character 1 and the first love interest (want different things etc). Character 1 is back to the beginning and is feeling ‘out of love’.
  • Meet Cute 2 : Character 1 meets the second love interest and starts seeing them – typically underlying sexual tension when they first meet. This can be introduced earlier on in the narrative (i.e. Bridget Jones Diary).
  • Turning point 2 : Character 1 seems content with their new relationship.
  • Dark moment 2 : A conflict occurs between character 1 and the second love interest. This makes character 1 face their inner fears (love interest needs to leave, becomes ill etc.)
  • Confrontation : Character 1 must confront their want vs need and either choose the first or second love interest (or in some instances, neither).
  • Resolution : typically, in rom-coms there is a joyful resolution.

This formula is not exhaustive, but these are the stages which typically appear within the ‘love triangle’ structure.

Let’s Dive into the Detail of the Different Aspects and Key Components Required To Write a ‘Love Triangle’.

1. the set-up of the protagonist:.

Bridget Jones Love Triangle

Make sure you set-up your protagonist effectively and fully-develop them throughout the film.

First, you must establish the following aspects:

  • Where is your protagonist in their life?
  • Are they content with their job/life? (typically not)
  • What is the state of their love life? Are they dating? Do they like someone?
  • Why are they single (if they are)?
  • What is their WANT and what is their NEED?
  • You need to know your character inside and out
  • Make them likeable and relatable
  • What’s their biggest fear? ( internal conflict – this will play a key part later on in the film)

Effective Character Set-ups Include:     

  • In The Holiday , the narrative follows joint protagonists Iris (Kate Winslet) and Amanda (Cameron Diaz) who are both unhappy with their lives. However, the love triangle primarily revolves around the character of Iris.
  • Iris is set-up as a hopeless romantic and a woman desiring the unrequited love of Jasper (and as a viewer we’re meant to empathise with her).
  • In Bridget Jones Diary , we are introduced to the protagonist, Bridget, in one of the most iconic and amusing film openings: Bridget in her pyjamas singing ‘All By Myself’. This set-up encompasses the idea of an alone protagonist desiring a love interest (the desire and want is clear).

Love Triangle Exceptions…

  • In Four Weddings and a Funeral the protagonist is Charles. The love triangle surrounds his interest in Carrie, who marries Hamish.
  • We are still introduced to Charles as a person unhappy with his life and desiring love. This is most humorously conveyed through the emphasis on his lack of a partner at the wedding.
  • Twilight  and The Hunger Games  are not Romantic-Comedies, however they do fall into the teenage Romance- Action genres. 
  • In Twilight , Bella is an outsider. She is the new girl in school and lacks friends.
  • Despite there being to imminent WANT for a love interest, in the opening scene there is a meet-cute between her and Jacob hinting at an underlying love interest.
  • Likewise, in The Hunger Games , the is no immediate nod towards Katniss desiring love. She is introduced in a maternal way, caring for her younger sister, Primrose.

In ALL of the above cases, we are introduced to characters who are lacking love. They all, to a degree, share a desire and want for a relationship.

Katniss is an exception in that she is an extremely strong-willed and independent character from the offset.

Four Weddings and a Funeral (2/12) Movie CLIP - To the Adorable Couple (1994) HD

2. The First Love Interest And The ‘Meet Cute’:

Like with your protagonist , make sure you fully-develop the first love interest to make them a layered, real character AND a viable, suitable choice for the protagonist .

Questions to consider:

  • Their Meet-Cute. Is the protagonist already with the first love interest?
  • Are they likeable? Do they have an interesting personality?
  • Do they have a flaw?
  • Has the protagonist liked the person for awhile?
  • Is the love interest unavailable?
  • What is the main conflict/challenge the protagonist faces?
  • How is the love interest(s) appealing?
  • What is the love interests NEED and WANT?

Examples To Consider…

  • In The Holiday , we witness Iris’ devotion and love for Jasper. Her clear affection for him is shown through her Christmas present for him. Here, we see Jasper’s manipulation as he falsely leads her on, only to then announce his engagement to another woman.
  • In Bridget Jones Diary the ‘Meet-Cute’ between Bridget and Mark Darcey is when Bridget attends a Christmas party at her parent’s house.
  • The interaction between the two is extremely awkward and there is NO hint of romance. But, the relationship and dynamic between the two is established.
  • In Four Weddings and a Funeral  Charles meets Carrie early-on at the first wedding and they ‘hit it off’ immediately.  Later that night we see the two sleep together, solidifying their mutual interest in one another.
  • In Twilight , as mentioned, Bella meets Jacob early on in the opening scene. However, much like in Bridget Jones Diary , there is no love element hinted at- they are presented as being friends.
  • In The Hunger Games , it is hinted at that Katniss and Peta have a history (we see through flashbacks). However, their first interactions come after being selected to go into the games. There is a lack of ‘love’, seemingly being represented as just friends.

We can assess that for the majority of these first love interest interactions, the characters do not directly convey their attractions to one another. They function effectively at foreshadowing their future relationships and later interest in one another.

The Main Take Away: 

  • Characters must meet and express some opinion on the other person (in these instances either hatred or attraction).
  • The groundwork has been laid for future interactions.

The Hunger Games (2/12) Movie CLIP - Saying Goodbye (2012) HD

3. Conflict With The First Love Interest (Protagonist’s Inner Fears Are Hinted At)

  • What does the conflict/crisis reveal about your protagonist?
  • Does it reveal a flaw?
  • How are they being tested?
  • How does this conflict impact the rest of the plot?

As we’ve emphasised, there is no set narrative structure for how to write a love triangle. However, a common-thread amongst films which feature this dynamic is that there is frequently a conflict that soon arises between the lovers.

Typically, after the initial relationship develops between the protagonist and the first love interest, there tends to be a conflict. This impacts their relationship, putting a halt or temporary end to their relationship/storyline.

  • In The Holiday , as we’ve discussed, Iris is initially rejected by Jasper. Therefore, the first conflict is his engagement to another woman, leaving her alone and depressed. So with regards to the stages outlined earlier, this is the moment in which ‘the individuals want different things’.
  • In Bridget Jones Diary , Bridget did not ‘hit it off’ with Mark Darcy, and throughout the film there are several awkward situations/conversations between the two.
  • To pin-point an exact moment is difficult as Bridget sees her second love interest Daniel throughout.  However, the first ‘conflict’ between her and Darcy is when he and Daniel fight in the street, resulting in her rejecting them both.
  • In Four Weddings and a Funeral , the first lovers conflict, is when Charles wants to pursue a relationship with Carrie after sleeping with her and developing feelings. However, Carrie soon becomes engaged to Hamish, reflecting the ‘individuals wanting different thing’ stage.

However, there is not always a set ‘moment’ that a conflict between the characters occurs. In the cases of Twilight and The Hunger Games the Love Triangle develops and lasts throughout the film trilogies.

  • In Twilight , throughout the trilogy Bella’s romantic interest goes between Edward and Jacob. The main conflict between Bella and Jacob occurs in the second and third films, when Bella denies having any feelings for Jacob.
  • As with the  Twilight saga,  The Hunger Games trilogy’s ‘love triangle’ is prolonged throughout the films.
  • However, in the first film the initial conflict between Katniss and Peeta is her belief that his love and admiration for her is fake and was only expressed as a means of getting sponsors. This adheres to the ‘stage’ of the lovers ‘wanting different things’.

As highlighted earlier, a central part and cause of a love triangle is the result of the protagonist ‘s inner fears. What do they fear? How is this brought out? What’s the flaw with the love interest?

This stage should be introduced to test the protagonist and their relationship with the first love interest. Will this ‘crisis’ be resolved with the introduction of the second love interest?

The Hunger Games (6/12) Movie CLIP - Star-Crossed Lovers (2012) HD

4. The Second Love Interest’s Introduction And Their Character Development:

  • Why introduce them now?
  • What do they add to the plot?
  • How are they different to the first love interest?
  • What’s their desire?
  • What do you want them to bring out in the protagonist?

This relationship can start at ANY POINT. They can be introduced at the same time as the other love interest, however perhaps it is more interesting to have them introduced slightly later to have a solid character development and comparison to the first love interest.

As with the first love interest, make sure you fully-develop the second love interest to make them a layered, real character AND a viable, suitable choice for the protagonist .

The meet-cute typically occurs after the protagonist is again out of love and is desiring love again. They are in the same position where they began the film- back to square one. This is when the meet the second love interest, who seemingly fills the void of loneliness.

However, they may also be introduced (as in The Hunger Games  and Twilight ) as another individual interested in the protagonist who is offering something the first love interest isn’t (a desired physical appearance, more affection etc), thus is a rival with a vested interest in stealing the protagonist away.

  • In The Holiday, it is when Iris has travelled to Los Angeles she meets her second love interest, Miles.
  • The ‘meet cute’ occurs when Miles arrives at the house Iris is staying at with his girlfriend. He is a ‘good guy’ in a relationship.

Character Development:

However, as the narrative develops Iris and Miles’ relationship develops (they go on dates etc.) and spend more ‘couples’ time together. He is the ideal match for her. But Jasper arrives in Los Angeles attempting to seduce Iris back.

  • In  Bridget Jones Diary, from the offset Bridget’s romantic interest in Daniel is evident through their flirtation at the office. Daniel is a ‘bad boy’ type.

As the narrative develops the two date and it becomes obvious that Daniel is not overly suitable for her. She witnesses him cheating and decides to leave.

  • In Four Weddings and a Funeral, as already discussed, early on in the narrative the Love Triangle primarily centres around Charles, Carrie and  Hamish. In this instance, the new ‘love interest’ is Hamish.

As the narrative progresses, Charles remains alone and still interested in Carrie despite Fiona’s confession of love for him.

Whereas…

  • In Twilight, the second love interest is Edward.
  • The ‘meet cute’ is during a science class. The first interaction is awkward and cold- there is no hint at their future storyline but it effectively lays the groundwork for the development of their relationship.
  • In The Hunger Games, Gale is the second love interest. He starts as Katniss’ friend. Throughout the film and during the course of the film their relationship develops romantically.

The Main Take Away And Questions To Ponder…

  • What does this love interest offer?
  • The second love interest needs time to DEVELOP and to show how they are suitable for the protagonist
  • What is the main difference to the first love interest?
  • Is there a vested interest?
  • What’s the motivation of the love interest?

Four Weddings and a Funeral (7/12) Movie CLIP - Carrie's List of Lovers (1994) HD

5. Conflict With The Second Love Interest:

  • How will this conflict affect the protagonist?
  • What will the protagonist have to confront as a result?
  • What is their flaw?

After significant character development of the second love interest, there needs to be a conflict/challenge that throws the protagonist off their path. It needs to shake their new relationship and make them question what they need and what they want.

Additionally, the first love interest tends to make another appearance and shake the narrative up.

  • In The Holiday , the conflict/crisis between Iris and Miles occurs when Maggie begs Miles for forgiveness. Also, Jasper arrives in Los Angeles and asks Iris to be his secret lover again.
  • In Bridget Jones Diary , the conflict with Bridget and Daniel occurs when she finds out that he has been cheating on her. She ends their relationship.
  • Meanwhile, Bridget’s relationship with Mark begins and the two begin to date. Conflict arrises when Mark and Daniel fight over her and she kicks them both out.
  • In Four Weddings and a Funeral , the love interest aspect is not that significant.
  • In Twilight , the love triangle develops throughout the course of the film trilogy. However, in the first film the conflict arises due to Edward being a vampire. He does not want to endanger Bella.
  • In The Hunger Games , the love triangle develops over the course of four films. However, the main conflict between Katniss and Gale is Gale’s involvement in Primrose’s death. This ends their relationship and plays a significant role in Katniss ending up with Peeta.

This stage is important when writing a love triangle. There needs to be an instance in which the suitability of the second love interest is tested. This stage should force the protagonist to face what they really need vs their want.

Twilight (8/11) Movie CLIP - I Can Never Lose Control With You (2008) HD

6. Protagonist Must Be Active And Confront Their Inner Conflict:

  • What is the protagonist’s inner fear?
  • What do you want the outcome to be? Who do you want them to end up with?
  • Protagonist is now alone again- they need to reflect.

Following on from their relationship with the second love interest and the conflict/crisis/new challenge, the protagonist must be active and motivated .

The protagonist is at a low point (similar to at the beginning) and needs to decide what to do/who to choose.

  • In The Holiday , Iris has the realisation that she likes Miles and wants to pursue their relationship. We see the two share a kiss during Arthur’s speech (Iris’ greatest fear not finding love).
  • In Bridget Jones Diary , Bridget comes to the realisation that she loves Mark and wants to pursue their relationship further. The last scene shows Bridget running and kissing Mark In the street (Bridget’s greatest fear being alone).
  • In Four Weddings and a Funeral , It isn’t the protagonist, that has the realisation, it is Carrie. She arrives at his doorstep and the two promise to stay together for life (Charles’ greatest fear not being with Carrie)
  • In Twilight , after claiming to love both Jacob and Edward (and kissing Jacob in New Moon ), she chooses Edward (believing him to be the love of her life). Her greatest fear is losing Edward.
  • In The Hunger Games , Katniss’ love for Peeta is depicted when she cares for and kisses him. Katniss’ inner fear is losing her family and by the end of the trilogy, her greatest fear is losing him.

The Main Take Away And Questions To Consider…

  • What is your protagonists inner fear?
  • What has the love triangle brought out in the protagonist?
  • How do you want the love triangle to be resolved?

7. Decide Who You Want The Protagonist To End Up With:

At this stage the protagonist should have undergone an Arc. They should have changed as a result of the love triangle. It is up to you whether there is a happy ending.

Ultimately, the protagonist will have either decided to be with…

Love interest one,

Love interest two

      Neither!

The ending of the love triangle can have occurred for many reasons. However, this typically is due to the protagonist having undergone a change (an Arc) and come to a realisation and acceptance of what they need .

  • The Holiday:  Iris starts a relationship with Miles.
  • Bridget Jones Diary: Bridget accepts her feelings for Mr Darcey and the ending implies that they are now a couple.
  • Four Weddings and a Funeral: Carrie visits Charles and informs him of her separation from Hamish. They will start to see one another.
  • Twilight: Bella and Edward become a couple and despite Jacob’s attempts at stealing her affections throughout the trilogy, Bella and Edward end up together.
  • The Hunger Games: at the end of the trilogy Katniss and Peeta are a couple.
  • This occurs towards the end of the narrative. It is important to know who you want your protagonist to end up with. However, when outlining your narrative, you should have an idea already on the outcome of the triangle at the beginning of your writing process.

You Should Ask Yourself…

  • Why is X more suitable for the protagonist than Y?
  • How do you want your protagonist to progress? What will happen to them once the film is over?
  • How will the love triangle end?

Four Weddings and a Funeral (12/12) Movie CLIP - Not a Proposal (1994) HD

8. Final Questions To Ask Yourself And To Bare In Mind When You Write A Love Triangle:

  • What are the internal and external conflicts as a result of the love triangle?
  • Have you made sure to write a love triangle with fully developed, engaging and active characters?
  • Have you developed all 3 characters equally? Are they flawed?
  • Is your protagonist interesting and relatable?
  • Have you made both love interests equally as suitable so the decision for the protagonist is harder?
  • Does your love triangle serve a purpose?
  • What is the love triangle’s narrative significance?
  • Does the character need to grow and learn something about themselves that they will only achieve through the love triangle?
  • Have you avoided cliche and predictability to keep the audience engaged?

And Remember…

Do not make the narrative suffer for the sake of the love triangle. You need to have a solid plot outside of the love triangle.

The knack of a love triangle is how it adds to the narrative. It’s a complication, a challenge and another bump in the road for the protagonist . Make sure that you’re not resting the story solely on the love triangle and instead using it to escalate the stakes, protagonist ‘s goals and dramatic tension . 

To write a successful love triangle you must make sure that the triangle fits neatly in the shape of the narrative as a whole, as well as making each end of the triangle as sharp as possible. 

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This article was written by Milly Perrin and edited by IS Staff.

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How To Write Love Triangles - The Right Way

Hi writerly friends!

This week, in Freelancing, we’re talking about the dreaded love triangle. I know, I know, some of you are moaning and groaning about this, but what if I could tell you there is away to write the love triangle trope in such a way that won’t get you crucified by your readers? What if I told you not all love triangles are bad?

Okay, now you’re rolling your eyes.

But hear me out—the reason bad love triangles are bad is because they’re shallow and have no substance. The characters have no real connection with each other, the reader feels no real connection to the characters, and ever move they make is founded in shallow, superficial misbelief. With these kind of love triangles (most love triangles, if I’m being honest) is that everything is so painfully surface level.

Not only do the characters have no real connection to themselves or the reader, but they lack connection to their internal conflict as well. Everything is stagnant and predictable, and chances are, you’ve got it all figured out by page two. Who wants to read a book where they’ve got the love triangle figured out by page two? I certainly don’t, and I’m sure neither you nor your readers want to do so either. So, is there a way to actually make this plot device interesting? Is there a way to revolutionize the love triangle and breath fresh life into it? Yes. That’s why I’m going to show you the secret to a good love triangle (yes, it does exist). It all begins with know what NOT to do.

Don’t make your love triangle simple

essay about love triangle

Three friends enjoying an afternoon drink together. Photo by Helena Lopes .

Of course, usually, I would advise the KISS method (Keep It Simple, Sweetie) but this time I’m advising against it. The reason so many love triangles fall flat is because they’re too simple and predictable and the reader can figure it out by the end of the first page. This is old and well overplayed since most of the time we already know who the main character will end up with anyways. The reason it’s a love triangle and not a love line is because it’s supposed to be confusing, complicated, and challenging to the main character (remember the three C’s and you’ll be fine). And perhaps we should do away with love triangles altogether —a love web would probably be the better descriptor for what we’re shooting for, since a web is less linear and therefore lest predictable. Weave together plots and characters’ unique storylines, use suspense, character, pacing, rising and falling tension, and amp up the drama in your love story.

Allow the triangle to bring out the internal conflict

This pretty much applies to any genre or method of storytelling, but if something doesn’t challenge your characters, force them to fight for their desires, confront their fears and upend their entire life as they know it, then the reader will lose interest. Now, I don’t mean they have to go on some crazy big adventure, but whatever internal and external conflicts they are dealing with need to be meaningful, they need to matter, and they need to be able to shape your characters in a non-superficial way. Put your characters out of their comfort zone instead of simple asking “which one will she chose,” especially if by the end of page one, we already know which one she will choose.

Not only is this overdone and sooo predictable, but it’s devoid of the electricity that lights up a story—the internal conflict—when the protagonist is forced to confront their greatest fear, crush their misbelief about the world, and ultimately achieve their greatest desire all while developing as a character and delivering a powerful message to the reader. When it comes to story writing, everything happens for a reason, and therefore, the reader needs to know why something matters to the characters. If the reader doesn’t see why it matters to the characters, then they won’t see why it should matter to them.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret here: you can use any literary device in your story, no matter how cliché or overdone it is, so long as it directly engages with the main characters inner conflicts, brings them to a fear versus desire decision and forces them to reckon with despair before reaching their aha moment that will bring their character development full circle. That’s right, any device. You’re welcome.

If the external conflicts are continuously forcing your character closer to their internal conflict, then you’re doing it right. Additionally, if the other characters are doing the same thing—being forced to confront their internal conflict—then using a love triangle would make so much more sense not only are the external forces at play here, but everyone’s messy emotions and tangled inner conflicts should be at play as well. Consider how your love triangle can cause all of your characters to either confront their fears or run from them?

Make the love triangle a catch 22 for the protagonist

For the most part love triangles should really only be used to force your characters to make a decision they otherwise would shy away from and force your readers to feel for the characters in said sticky situation. Anyone who reads and enjoys the trope will tell you they aren’t reading it because it’s realistic—in fact I’ve venture to guess most of us never have and never will find ourselves in such a predicament but it’s the ability to put ourselves in another’s shoes and feel for them and the tough decisions they have to make that makes the love triangle work.

However, their decision really has to mean something to the character. It needs to be an ultimatum for them, and it needs to really holds weight for it to resonate with your readers. It cannot simply be “which person will I chose”.

essay about love triangle

Three college students standing on campus. Photo by Alexis Brown .

The stakes just aren’t high enough and pressure for the reader to stay invested isn’t painful enough in this case. It goes way deeper than that—it goes all the way to your protagonist’s deepest fear and greatest desire.

Ask yourself these questions before using the love triangle

There are a few questions to ask yourself before writing the love triangle. It might take you a while to come up with the answers for these but trust me, it will make writing convincing, compelling, and challenging situations for your character much easier and you will better understand how the love triangle is directly linked to the characters internal conflicts. Additionally, your readers will be so engrossed in your story, they won’t even notice that you’ve just revolutionized one of the most hated tropes of all time. 

Here are the questions:

What is my protagonist’s inner conflict and how did it lead them into this love triangle?

If they’re being honest with themselves, the real reason they’re stuck in this love triangle is because_________?

How does this love triangle cause all three characters to face their fears?

What would it take for the protagonist to overcome their fear and make the right choice?

How high are the stakes and how hot is the fire beneath the protagonist’s feet to make a decision?

Answer those questions and you’ll know how to link the internal conflict and the love triangle in a meaningful way. Trust me when I say, as long are you’re drawing on the internal conflict, you can’t go wrong and the reader certainly will be invested. It’s all in the way you play with the protagonist’s greatest desire and deepest fears.

And that’s it for my guide on how to do love triangles the right way. I know, unpopular opinion, but I think they can be done, and well, I might add. I think the reason we’ve seen so many badly written love triangles, is because it’s a plot device (something used to drive the plot) and instead writers are using it as a surface-level element. Over the years, we’ve forgotten how to really use this device effectively and that’s why it had gotten to exhausting and boring to read over and over again.

Anyways, that’s it for this week’s post in Freelancing . I hope you enjoyed reading this and if the guide helped you better your love triangle game, let me know in the comments below! Don’t forget to like and sign up for my email newsletter to get awesome, actionable writing advice straight to your inbox each month! As always writerly friends, thanks for reading!

Further reading:

How To Write The Perfect Meet Cute

How To Write Best Friends to Lovers Romance - That Feels Realistic

The Top 10 Worst Romance Tropes EVER

5 Supernatural Romance Reads for February 2020

5 Contemporary Romances Everyone Should Read

Classic Romance Reading Challenge for February 2020

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Taylor Swift's teenage love triangle songs on Folklore explained

essay about love triangle

It wouldn't be a Taylor Swift album release if it didn't spawn theory after theory about who or what each song is about.

And although Swift has been characteristically mum on the particulars of most of the songs on Folklore , there are three that she's revealed quite a bit about: the triptych of songs exploring young love that she refers to as "The Teenage Love Triangle."

During the release of the music video for the album's first single, "Cardigan," Swift joined fans on YouTube to answer some questions about the song and the new album, which dropped at the same time. At one point, she wrote, "One thing I did purposely on this album was put the Easter eggs in the lyrics, more than just the videos. I created character arcs & recurring themes that map out who is singing about who."

Her note continued, "For example, there's a collection of 3 songs I refer to as The Teenage Love Triangle. These 3 songs explore a love triangle from all 3 people's perspectives at different times in their lives."

Okay, so Swift hasn't explicitly said which three songs on the 16-track album she's referring to, but based on the lyrics and the singer-songwriter's own explanations, we think we've figured it out. So what are the three songs, who (if anyone) are they about, and what happens in each? Let's break it down:

"Betty"

Starting with "Betty" seems to be a natural choice here, as it's the song that provides the most direct information about the affair, including some of the names of our characters and several high school references, leaving no doubt that it's told from a teenager's perspective. First things first: Although the three names mentioned in the song—Betty, James, and Inez—are a playful nod to her friends Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds ' daughters, the song is not about them (that'd be weird). In her album intro , Swift says that her imagination ran wild when writing the album: "I found myself not only writing my own stories, but also writing about or from the perspective of people I've never met, people I've known, or those I wish I hadn't." Her admission on YouTube that she "created character arcs" with regard to the Teenage Love Triangle would seem to suggest those three songs fall into the former category: songs about people she's never met.

Moving on to the song itself, "Betty" seems like James' account of how the affair started, and their attempts to win Betty back by showing up to her party unannounced and apologizing. "Would you tell me to go f--- myself/Or lead me to the garden?/In the garden, would you trust me/If I told you it was just a summer thing?/I'm only seventeen, I don't know anything/But I know I miss you," James tells us. In the bridge, it's explained that the affair between James and the unknown girl started as James was "walking home on broken cobblestones" and she pulled up in her car. "She said 'James, get in, let's drive'/Those days turned into nights/Slept next to her, but/I dreamt of you all summer long," Swift sings.

The song makes a reference to someone named Inez ("You heard the rumors from Inez/You can't believe a word she says/Most times, but this time it was true"), and some fans have taken that to mean she's the "other woman" in the love affair, but it's more likely that Inez is just the local gossip. After all, it'd be pretty weird to start rumors about your own affair to the face of the other woman involved.

The song ends with James on Betty's front porch, preparing to apologize, but it's not clear (at least in this song) how Betty responds, but importantly, there is a reference to her cardigan: "Standing in your cardigan/Kissin' in my car again/Stopped at a streetlight/You know I miss you." Which brings us to...

"Cardigan"

Remember how Swift said she put "recurring themes that map out who is singing about who" in the three songs? That reference in "Betty" to a cardigan feels pretty obvious here, but "Cardigan" has other bits of imagery that pop up in the other two songs. For instance, the cobblestones from "Betty" also appear at the start of this song: "Vintage tee, brand new phone/High heels on cobblestones/When you are young, they assume you know nothing." And there's a reference to kissing in cars later in the song, as well. Swift tells us in her album intro that one of the images she was inspired by was "a cardigan that still bears the scent of loss 20 years later." From that, we can infer that this time around, we're getting the perspective of the cardigan-wearing Betty—the girl that was cheated on—as she reminisces 20 years year later about her lost young love. In it, she tells us that she knew James would come back to her, and even makes a reference to the failed apology: "I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired/And you'd be standin' in my front porch light/And I knew you'd come back to me." It seems then, that even though the love left an indelible mark on her, as young love often does, Betty walked away with the upper hand.

"August"

And finally, we make it to the song told from the perspective of the "other woman." In her intro, Swift only says of this song that she was inspired by the image of "the sun-drenched month of August, sipped away like a bottle of wine." So how do we know this is the third song in the teenage love triangle trio? Once again, it's the recurring images Swift uses to paint the picture, and we can infer that it's told from the other woman's perspective because she repeatedly refers to the fling as something that was "never mine." As far as similar imagery goes, in "Betty," James tells us the affair "was just a summer thing," and in "August" the narrator says, "So much for summer love and saying 'us.'" The car scene referenced in "Betty" is also mentioned again here, but from the woman's perspective: "Remember when I pulled up and said 'Get in the car'/And then canceled my plans just in case you'd call?" And, even though it's not mentioned in the other two songs, it's worth mentioning that a meeting at the mall is referred to multiple times in this song, which is about as "summer teenage romance" as you can get.

Like "Cardigan," "August" feels like a song told from a point in the future (albeit an indeterminate one) from a woman who is reminiscing on a lost love, while "Betty" is told from the point in time during which the affair took place. In short, the three teens were caught up in a summer love affair that left its mark on each of them but ultimately ended with all three going separate ways.

It should be noted that James' gender is never explicitly stated, and in keeping with that tradition, they were not given a gender here. I have my own theories, namely that Swift's use of male-oriented metaphors in "Cardigan"—"I knew you/Tried to change the ending/Peter losing Wendy, I/I knew you/Leavin' like a father"—suggests that James is male. But far be it from me to take those sapphic love story theories away from you, dear readers.

After all, as Swift herself notes in her album intro, folklore is something that is "passed down and whispered around," and "the lines between fantasy and reality blur and the boundaries between truth and fiction become almost indiscernible." This is just one of many attempts to pass down the stories Swift has given us.

Related content:

  • The best lyrics off Taylor Swift's Folklore
  • Taylor Swift's 'Mad Woman' picks up where 'The Man' left off
  • The wild true story behind Taylor Swift's 'The Last Great American Dynasty'

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Sternberg Love Triangle Essay

essay about love triangle

Show More Nowadays, love is everywhere. Movies, books, music, and art commonly revolve around love. Whether it’s a cheesy romance novel, or an abstract sculpture, there are hundreds of pieces about it. One common theme in these pieces in the concept of the “love triangle”. Consumers of media have heard the phrase “ love triangle” for decades. In this context, two people are in love with the same person. This, however, is not the only meaning behind the phrase. Robert Sternberg, an American psychologist, proposed an entirely separate meaning behind the term. Understanding Sternberg’s theory of love is a great way to explore oneself on a deeper level, and possibly even improve personal relationships (Ciccarelli, 2017). Love is a spectacular thing, with …show more content… This element discusses commitment, and how that impacts and defines love. Sternberg suggests that a major element of love is choosing to love. Decision is the divider between attraction and love. If someone is attracted to a person, it is only love when both people choose to work to cultivate and preserve their relationship and love for one another. Marriage is a tangible example of this point of the love triangle. The decision to stay in love until death is the very definition of what commitment and decision mean (Psych 424, n.d.). This third concept completes the triangle and completes the way to categorize the …show more content… By combining different points, it is simple to pinpoint the values behind individual relationships. From these three types, eight types of love can be found. These types are non-love, liking, infatuation, empty love, romantic love, compassionate love, fatuous love, and consummate love. These types provide a wide range of relationships, ranging from an absence of all three, to the “ultimate love”, possessing all three. Looking at the eight types, it essentially names the unnamable. Love was, at one point, a concept too abstract to touch, An unidentifiable feeling. Sternberg provided a simple way to help psychologists, and the general public, to be understand what they are feeling and

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Sternberg’s Triangular Theory and The 8 Types of Love

Eleanor Myers

Lab Manager at Duke University

Psychology Major at Princeton University

Eleanor Myers is a Princeton University psychology graduate.  At Princeton Eleanor studied language development as a research assistant in the Princeton Baby Lab. Eleanor is interested in how atypical child populations learn language, and how social cues and interactions can aid in language development. Eleanor currently works as a lab manager of the early childhood cognition lab at Duke University.

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Saul Mcleod, PhD., is a qualified psychology teacher with over 18 years of experience in further and higher education. He has been published in peer-reviewed journals, including the Journal of Clinical Psychology.

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  • Robert Sternberg’s triangular theory of love is a theory that proposes three components of love, which combine in different ways to create eight kinds of love (Sternberg, 1986).
  • The three components of love in the triangular theory of love are intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment (Sternberg, 1986).
  • According to Sternberg, these three components of love combine to create eight kinds of love: nonlove, liking, infatuated love, empty love, romantic love, companionate love, fatuous love, and consummate love (Sternberg, 1986).

the three components of sternberg's triangular theory of love

Robert Sternberg introduced his theory of love in a 1986 paper titled “A triangular theory of love” (Sternberg, 1986). This article will lay out the fundamental ideas of his theory discussed in this paper.

Three Components of Love

Within Sternberg’s triangular theory of love, he explains that there are three components of love:

  • Intimacy : the closeness each partner feels to the other and the strength of the bond that binds them together. Partners high in intimacy like value and understand their partners.
  • Passion : based on romantic feelings, physical attraction, and sexual intimacy with the partner.
  • Decision/Commitment : represents cognitive factors such as acknowledging that one is in love and committed to maintaining the relationship.

According to Sternberg, these components are fundamental to what love is and interact in different ways to create various kinds of love (Sternberg, 1986).

Sternberg

Sternberg defines the intimacy component of love as “feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness in loving relationships,” including “those feelings that give rise, essentially, to the experience of warmth in a loving relationship” and “largely, but not exclusively, deriving from emotional investment in the relationship” (Sternberg, 1986, p. 119).

The intimacy component of love typically remains stable over time, is somewhat able to be controlled, and people’s awareness of it tends to fluctuate, meaning that sometimes people are aware of these types of feelings towards others but sometimes they are not aware that they are experiencing intimate feelings (Sternberg, 1986).

The intimacy component plays a medium role in short-term relationships but plays a larger role in long-term relationships (Sternberg, 1986).

This component of love also tends to cause a moderate psychophysiological response in people (Sternberg, 1986).

Sternberg defines the passion component of love as “the drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, sexual consummation, and related phenomena in loving relationships.” This includes “those sources of motivational and other forms of arousal that lead to the experience of passion in a loving relationship,” and it’s largely, although not exclusively, derived from “motivational involvement in the relationship” (Sternberg, 1986, p. 119).

Aspects of the passion component of love are usually unstable and often change (Sternberg, 1986). People are usually not able to control whether or not these feelings are present in a relationship. Still, they tend to be aware of whether or not they are experiencing these types of feelings toward someone (Sternberg, 1986).

The passion component of love tends to have a large role in short-term relationships and only a medium role in long-term relationships (Sternberg, 1986).

This component tends to cause a high psychophysiological response in people (Sternberg, 1986).

This psychophysiological response tends to be more short-term, as our bodies cannot sustain a heightened psychophysiological state for extended periods of time.

Decision/Commitment

Finally, Sternberg defines the decision/commitment component of love as “in the short term, the decision that one loves someone else, and in the long term, the commitment to maintain that love.”

Commitment includes “the cognitive elements that are involved in decision making about the existence of and potential long-term commitment to a loving relationship” and “deriving largely, although not exclusively, from cognitive decision in and commitment to the relationship” (Sternberg, 1986, p. 119).

Like the intimacy component of love, the decision/commitment component also typically remains stable over time, and people’s awareness of it tends to fluctuate throughout time (Sternberg, 1986).

However, the decision/commitment component of love is more easily controlled than the intimacy component (Sternberg, 1986).

The decision/commitment component tends to play a very small part if any part, in short-term relationships and a large part in long-term relationships (Sternberg, 1986).

This makes sense, as it would be difficult to continue a relationship for a significant period of time without some sort of subconscious commitment to that person and the relationship overall.

8 Types of Love

According to Sternberg (1986), the 3 components (intimacy, passion, commitment) are fundamental to what love is and interact in different ways to create 8 types of love.

Sternberg

Relationships can become unbalanced if there is too great an investment in one component rather than the others or if one component is missing, such as romantic love (missing commitment) or companionate love (missing passion).

According to the theory, “true” (i.e., consummate) love is achieved when all three components are achieved.

The first type of love that Sternberg introduces is nonlove, which is when none of the three components of love are present in a relationship (Sternberg, 1986).

According to Sternberg, nonlove can be seen in the “casual interactions” in our everyday lives and actually “characterizes the large majority of our personal relationships” (Sternberg, 1986, p. 123).

These relationships and interactions contain a complete lack of love, as none of the components of love are involved. This makes sense, as people would not typically express any sort of feelings of love for any brief encounter in their lives.

Liking (also called friendship)

The second type of love that Sternberg introduces is liking, which is when the intimacy component of love is present in a relationship, but the passion and decision/commitment components are not (Sternberg, 1986).

According to Sternberg, liking involves feelings of “closeness, bondedness, and warmth toward the other, without feelings of intense passion or long-term commitment” (Sternberg, 1986, p. 123).

Liking can be seen in the relationships in our lives that we refer to as friendships (Sternberg, 1986).

As we all know, friendships can exist at different levels, and according to Sternberg, if any other components of love are present in a friendship, then it is not considered liking but is considered a different kind of love (Sternberg, 1986).

Therefore, only friendships that lack the passion and decision/commitment components of love are considered to be the kind of love labeled as liking.

Infatuation

The third type of love that Sternberg introduces is infatuated love, which is when the passion component of love is present in a relationship, but the intimacy and decision/commitment components are not (Sternberg, 1986).

Sternberg’s Fatuous Love is a type of love that combines Passion (physical and romantic attraction) and Commitment (decision to maintain the relationship) but lacks Intimacy (deep connection and understanding). This love type is often characterized by whirlwind romances driven by passion but lacking true depth.

Sternberg places “love at first sight” in this category of love, which according to him, involves “a high degree of psychophysiological arousal, manifested in somatic symptoms such as increased heartbeat or even palpitations of the heart, increased hormonal secretions, erection of genitals (penis or clitoris), and so on” (Sternberg, 1986, p.124).

This kind of love develops very quickly, without time for any intimate feelings to grow or for a commitment to be made (Sternberg, 1986).

The fourth type of love that Sternberg introduces is empty love, which is when the decision/commitment component of love is present in a relationship, but the intimacy and passion components are not (Sternberg, 1986).

This type of love can commonly be found in some long-term relationships where the couple has lost feelings for one another.

However, Sternberg points out an interesting phenomenon regarding this kind of love: “In our society, we are most accustomed to empty love as it occurs as a final or near-final stage of a long-term relationship,” but “in other societies, empty love may be the first stage of a long-term relationship” (such as in an arranged marriage) (Sternberg, 1986, p. 124).

Romantic Love

The fifth type of love that Sternberg introduces is romantic love, which is when the intimacy and passion components of love are present in a relationship, but the decision/commitment component is not (Sternberg, 1986).

This kind of love can also be thought of as “liking with an added element, namely, the arousal brought about by physical attraction and its concomitants” (Sternberg, 1986, p. 124).

For a popular literary example of this kind of love, one can look at “Romeo and Juliet,” where the couple shares both intimate and passionate feelings towards one another but have made no real commitment to one another (Sternberg, 1986, p. 124).

Romantic love can also be found towards the beginning of some long-term relationships before the involved parties have committed to a long-term relationship with the other person.

Companionate Love

The sixth type of love that Sternberg introduces is companionate love when the intimacy and decision/commitment components of love are present in a relationship, but the passion component is not (Sternberg, 1986).

Sternberg’s Consummate Love refers to the ideal form of love that combines three components: Intimacy (deep connection and understanding), Passion (physical and romantic attraction), and Commitment (the decision to maintain love in the long term). It’s considered the most complete and balanced form of love.

Sternberg describes this type of love as “a long-term, committed friendship, the kind that frequently occurs in marriages in which the physical attraction (a major source of passion) has died down” (Sternberg, 1986, p. 124).

Because marriages typically involve such large amounts of the intimacy and decision/commitment components of love, they can often become forms of companionate love when the “spark” or the passion in the relationship is lost, commonly over time (Sternberg, 1986).

Fatuous Love

The seventh type of love that Sternberg introduces is fatuous love, which is when the passion and decision/commitment components of love are present in a relationship, but the intimacy component is not (Sternberg, 1986).

According to Sternberg, fatuous love “is the kind of love we sometimes associate with Hollywood, or with whirlwind courtships, in which a couple meets on Day X, gets engaged two weeks later, and marries the next month”, where “a commitment is made on the basis of passion without the stabilizing element of intimate involvement” (Sternberg, 1986, p. 124).

Because the intimate component of love takes time to develop, these relationships lack that aspect of love and their relationship may therefore be more likely to fail (Sternberg, 1986).

Consummate Love

Finally, the eighth type of love that Sternberg introduces is consummate love, which is when all three components of love are present in a relationship (Sternberg, 1986).

Nowadays, when one thinks of love, they are most likely thinking about consummate love. Additionally, consummate love is seemingly the type of love that most people aim to find (Sternberg, 1986).

Outside of romantic interests, an example of consummate love can be found in many parents” love for their children, often dubbed “unconditional love” (Sternberg, 1986).

Related Research

In 1999, researchers Lemieux and Hale provided support for Sternberg’s theory of triangular love with their study of undergraduates, in which they found that the three components of love were “significantly related to a measure of Relational Satisfaction” (Lemieux & Hale, 1999, p. 497).

The next year, in 2000, they conducted a similar study, this time with married participants, and also found “that each component was a significant predictor of relational satisfaction” (Lemieux & Hale, 2000, p. 941).

In 2009, researcher Deverich conducted a study regarding Sternberg’s triangular theory of love to discover whether or not adolescents could be in consummate love according to Sternberg’s theory (Deverich, 2009).

Interestingly, she found that “due to their inconsistencies in fulfilling Sternberg’s viewed loving components…adolescents are not capable of being consummately in love” (Deverich, 2009, p. 21).

Deverich, S. (2009). Love unveiled: Teenage love within the context of Sternberg’s triangular theory of love. Intuition, 5 , 21-25.

Lemieux, R., & Hale, J. L. (1999). Intimacy, passion, and commitment in young romantic relationships: Successfully measuring the triangular theory of love. Psychological reports, 85 (2), 497-503.

Lemieux, R., & Hale, J. L. (2000). Intimacy, passion, and commitment among married individuals: Further testing of the triangular theory of love. Psychological Reports, 87 (3), 941-948.

Sternberg, R. J. (1986). A triangular theory of love. Psychological review, 93 (2), 119.

Sternberg, R. J. (1987). Liking versus loving: A comparative evaluation of theories. Psychological Bulletin, 102 (3), 331.

Further Information

Lemieux, R., & Hale, J. L. (2000). Intimacy, passion, and commitment among married individuals: Further testing of the triangular theory of love. Psychological Reports, 87(3), 941-948.

Lemieux, R., & Hale, J. L. (1999). Intimacy, passion, and commitment in young romantic relationships: Successfully measuring the triangular theory of love. Psychological reports, 85(2), 497-503.

Sternberg, R. J. (1986). A triangular theory of love. Psychological review, 93(2), 119.

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