essay word pronunciation

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IPA : ˈeseɪ

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Phonetic spelling of essay

noun es-ey for 1 0 rating rating ratings Adelia Cronin es-say 0 rating rating ratings Private

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Meanings for essay

A piece of content that is written from the perception of the writer. 0 rating rating ratings Erwin Considine

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essay pronunciation with meanings, synonyms, antonyms, translations, sentences and more

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Essay - pronunciation: audio and phonetic transcription

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Definition of essay noun from the Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary

• I have to write an essay this weekend.
• essay on something an essay on the causes of the First World War
• essay about somebody/something Have you done your essay about Napoleon yet?
• in an essay He made some very good points in his essay.
• Essays handed in late will not be accepted.
• Have you done your essay yet?
• He concludes the essay by calling for a corrective.
• I finished my essay about 10 o'clock last night!
• Lunch was the only time she could finish her essay assignment.
• We have to write an essay on the environment.
• You have to answer 3 out of 8 essay questions in the exam.
• the teenage winner of an essay contest
• We have to write an essay on the causes of the First World War.
• be entitled something
• be titled something
• address something
• in an/​the essay
• essay about

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Translation of essay.

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• Record pronunciation for essay essay   [ da ]
• Record pronunciation for essay essay   [ en - uk ]
• Record pronunciation for essay essay   [ en - usa ]
• Record pronunciation for essay essay   [ en - other ]
• Record pronunciation for essay essay   [ no ]
• Record pronunciation for essay essay   [ sv ]

Random words: Australia ,  world ,  dog ,  walk ,  literature

How to pronounce

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how to pronounce essay

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the above transcription of essay is a detailed (narrow) transcription according to the rules of the International Phonetic Association; you can find a description of each symbol by clicking the phoneme buttons in the secction below.

essay is pronounced in two syllables

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An example use of essay in a speech by a native speaker of american english:

“… an essay in 1904 by black activist fanny …”

meaning of essay

An essay is a piece of writing that gives the author's own argument or perspective on a topic.

essay frequency in english - B2 level of CEFR

the word essay occurs in english on average 17.4 times per one million words; this frequency warrants it to be in the study list for B2 level of language mastery according to CEFR, the Common European Framework of Reference.

topics essay can be related to

it is hard to perfectly classify words into specific topics since each word can have many context of its use, but our machine-learning models believe that essay can be often used in the following areas:

1) communication, information, and media;

2) education, science, and technology;

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essay - transcription, translation and pronunciation online

Transcription and pronunciation of the word " essay " in British and American variants. Detailed translation and examples.

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Definition of essay

 (Entry 1 of 2)

Definition of essay  (Entry 2 of 2)

transitive verb

• composition

attempt , try , endeavor , essay , strive mean to make an effort to accomplish an end.

attempt stresses the initiation or beginning of an effort.

try is often close to attempt but may stress effort or experiment made in the hope of testing or proving something.

endeavor heightens the implications of exertion and difficulty.

essay implies difficulty but also suggests tentative trying or experimenting.

strive implies great exertion against great difficulty and specifically suggests persistent effort.

Examples of essay in a Sentence

These examples are programmatically compiled from various online sources to illustrate current usage of the word 'essay.' Any opinions expressed in the examples do not represent those of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Send us feedback about these examples.

Word History

Middle French essai , ultimately from Late Latin exagium act of weighing, from Latin ex- + agere to drive — more at agent

14th century, in the meaning defined at sense 4

14th century, in the meaning defined at sense 2

Phrases Containing essay

• photo - essay
• essay question

Articles Related to essay

To 'Essay' or 'Assay'?

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Cite this entry.

“Essay.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary , Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/essay. Accessed 5 Apr. 2024.

Kids Definition

Kids definition of essay.

Kids Definition of essay  (Entry 2 of 2)

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Meaning of essay in English

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• I want to finish off this essay before I go to bed .
• His essay was full of spelling errors .
• Have you given that essay in yet ?
• Have you handed in your history essay yet ?
• I'd like to discuss the first point in your essay.
• boilerplate
• composition
• dissertation
• essay question
• peer review
• go after someone
• go all out idiom
• go down swinging/fighting idiom
• go for it idiom
• go for someone
• shoot the works idiom
• smarten (someone/something) up
• smarten up your act idiom
• square the circle idiom
• step on the gas idiom

essay | Intermediate English

Examples of essay, collocations with essay.

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pronunciation of

• 1.1.1 Pronunciation
• 1.1.2.1 Derived terms
• 1.1.2.2 Related terms
• 1.1.2.3 Translations
• 1.2.1 Pronunciation
• 1.2.2.1 Translations
• 1.3 Anagrams
• 2.1 Etymology
• 2.2 Pronunciation
• 2.3.1 Hypernyms
• 2.3.2 Derived terms
• 2.3.3 Descendants
• 3.1 Etymology
• 3.2.1 Derived terms
• 3.3 References
• 4.1 Etymology
• 4.2.1 Derived terms
• 4.3 References

English [ edit ]

Etymology 1 [ edit ].

Since late 16th century, borrowed from Middle French essay , essai ( “ essay ” ) , meaning coined by Montaigne in the same time, from the same words in earlier meanings 'experiment; assay; attempt', from Old French essay , essai , assay , assai , from Latin exagium ( “ weight; weighing, testing on the balance ” ) , from exigere + -ium .

Pronunciation [ edit ]

• ( Received Pronunciation , General American ) IPA ( key ) : /ˈɛs.eɪ/ (1), IPA ( key ) : /ɛˈseɪ/ (2-4)
• Rhymes: -ɛseɪ
• Homophone : ese

Noun [ edit ]

essay ( plural essays )

• 2013 January, Katie L. Burke, “Ecological Dependency”, in American Scientist ‎ [1] , volume 101 , number 1, archived from the original on 9 February 2017 , page 64 : In his first book since the 2008 essay collection Natural Acts: A Sidelong View of Science and Nature , David Quammen looks at the natural world from yet another angle: the search for the next human pandemic, what epidemiologists call “the next big one.”
• ( obsolete ) A test , experiment ; an assay .
• 1861 , E. J. Guerin, Mountain Charley , page 16 : My first essay at getting employment was fruitless; but after no small number of mortifying rebuffs from various parties to whom I applied for assistance, I was at last rewarded by a comparative success.
• 1988 , James McPherson, Battle Cry of Freedom , Oxford, published 2003 , page 455 : This was Lee's first essay in the kind of offensive-defensive strategy that was to become his hallmark.
• ( philately , finance ) A proposed design for a postage stamp or a banknote .

Derived terms [ edit ]

• argumentative essay
• automated essay scoring
• eight-legged essay
• essay question
• photo-essay
• photo essay

Related terms [ edit ]

Translations [ edit ], etymology 2 [ edit ].

From Middle French essayer , essaier , from Old French essaiier , essayer , essaier , assaiier , assayer , assaier , from essay , essai , assay , assai ( “ attempt; assay; experiment ” ) as above.

• ( UK , US ) IPA ( key ) : /ɛˈseɪ/

Verb [ edit ]

essay ( third-person singular simple present essays , present participle essaying , simple past and past participle essayed )

• 1900 , Charles W. Chesnutt , chapter II, in The House Behind the Cedars : He retraced his steps to the front gate, which he essayed to open.
• 1950 April, R. A. H. Weight, “They Passed by My Window”, in Railway Magazine , page 260 : The train took the slow to branch spur at the north end at a not much slower speed, then essayed the short sharply curved climb with a terrific roar, smoke rising straight from the chimney to a height of some 60 ft., the long train twisting and curling behind.
• ( intransitive ) To move forth, as into battle.

Anagrams [ edit ]

• Sayes , Seays , Sesay , eyass

Dutch [ edit ]

Etymology [ edit ].

Borrowed from English essay ( “ essay ” ) , from Middle French essai ( “ essay; attempt, assay ” ) , from Old French essai , from Latin exagium (whence the neuter gender).

• IPA ( key ) : /ɛˈseː/ , /ˈɛ.seː/
• Hyphenation: es‧say
• Rhymes: -eː

essay   n ( plural essays , diminutive essaytje   n )

Hypernyms [ edit ]

Descendants [ edit ], norwegian bokmål [ edit ].

Borrowed from English essay , from Middle French essai .

essay   n ( definite singular essayet , indefinite plural essay or essayer , definite plural essaya or essayene )

• an essay , a written composition of moderate length exploring a particular subject
• essaysamling

References [ edit ]

• “essay” in The Bokmål Dictionary .

Norwegian Nynorsk [ edit ]

essay   n ( definite singular essayet , indefinite plural essay , definite plural essaya )

• “essay” in The Nynorsk Dictionary .

• English terms derived from Proto-Indo-European
• English terms derived from the Proto-Indo-European root *h₂eǵ-
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Lifestylogy

30 English Words You're Probably Saying Wrong

Posted: April 4, 2024 | Last updated: April 4, 2024

Navigating the vast expanse of the English language can sometimes feel like an intricate dance, especially when it comes to pronunciation. English, with its rich tapestry of influences from Latin, French, German, and countless other languages, hosts an array of words that can perplex even the most seasoned linguists. Here, we explore 30 of the most notoriously hard-to-pronounce words in English, delving into their origins, meanings, and, of course, their correct pronunciations. Whether you’re a language learner or a native speaker, mastering these words is a testament to your linguistic prowess.

Worcestershire

This term refers to both a savory sauce and a county in England. Its pronunciation, “WOOS-tər-shər,” often stumbles non-locals due to its deceptive spelling, leading many to overlook silent letters and add extra sounds. The spelling versus pronunciation conundrum of Worcestershire serves as a prime example of English’s historical layering, where the etymology reflects a blend of cultural influences. This word invites speakers to explore the phonetic heritage of English, providing a window into the language’s past interactions with French and Old English.

Anemone, a type of sea creature and flower, is pronounced “ə-NEM-ə-nee.” The challenge arises from the transition between the ‘n’ and ‘m’ sounds, and the silent ‘e’ at the end, which can confuse those unfamiliar with the word. Pronouncing Anemone correctly requires a nuanced understanding of English’s vowel variability and the way it can influence consonant sounds, showcasing the language’s complexity and its capacity for nuanced expression.

While seemingly simple, “SQUIR-rel” can be difficult for non-native speakers due to the unique ‘r’ and ‘l’ sounds in English. The word requires the speaker to transition quickly between these sounds. This lexical item exemplifies the intricate phonetics of English, highlighting the challenge of articulating consecutive liquid sounds—a feature that tests the agility of the speaker’s pronunciation skills and underscores the diversity of phonetic patterns in the language.

This Andean superfood has a pronunciation that often surprises: “KEEN-wah.” The confusion comes from its Quechua origin, leading many to attempt a more phonetic pronunciation based on its spelling. Quinoa’s journey into the English lexicon illustrates the globalization of language, where words from indigenous cultures enter mainstream vocabulary, bringing with them a piece of their linguistic and cultural identity, thus enriching the English language with global diversity.

Otorhinolaryngologist

Specializing in ear, nose, and throat disorders, otorhinolaryngologists have one of the longest titles in the medical field. Pronounced “o-toh-rhino-laryn-GOL-o-gist,” this word is a true mouthful due to its length and the juxtaposition of several complex morphemes. It reflects the precision of medical terminology, where Greek and Latin roots are combined to create highly specific terms that communicate complex ideas efficiently, albeit with a challenging pronunciation.

The military rank of colonel, pronounced “KERN-el,” confounds many with its ‘l’ sounding as an ‘r’ and its completely silent ‘o’. The discrepancy between its pronunciation and spelling is a remnant of its French origins. This rank’s title is a testament to the historical complexities of English orthography and phonology, where military and governmental lexicons often preserve the idiosyncrasies of language evolution, bridging past and present through pronunciation.

Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism

As one of the longest words in the English dictionary, this condition’s pronunciation, “soo-doh-soo-doh-hahy-poh-par-uh-THAI-roi-diz-əm,” is as complex as its diagnosis. The repetition of prefixes and the mix of phonetic sounds make it a challenging word. This medical term not only tests the speaker’s endurance but also highlights the intricacies of scientific vocabulary, where prefixes and suffixes are layered to create precise descriptors of very specific conditions, illustrating the language’s capacity for detailed scientific communication.

“RHY-thm,” the pattern of beats in music, presents difficulty with its silent ‘h’ followed by a ‘th’ sound, a combination rarely found at the beginning of English words. This term encapsulates the musicality of English, where even the words used to describe sound patterns have their own rhythmic challenges, reflecting the inherent musicality and rhythmic complexity of the language itself.

This word, meaning an observable event, is pronounced “fə-NOM-ə-non.” The challenge lies in the shift from ‘f’ to ‘n’ sounds and the silent ‘e’, which can trip up speakers. Phenomenon thus becomes a phonetic phenomenon in its own right, demonstrating the unpredictable nature of English pronunciation and the need for speakers to navigate shifts in vowel and consonant sounds with agility and awareness.

Pronounced “SICKSTH,” this ordinal number combines an ‘x’ sound with a ‘th’, making it difficult to articulate clearly without slurring the sounds together. Sixth challenges speakers to manage the quick succession of consonant sounds, a linguistic obstacle that highlights the precision required in English pronunciation and the effort needed to maintain clarity and accuracy in speech.

Referring to a narrow strip of land connecting two larger areas, “ISTH-mus” is tricky due to the initial ‘isth’ sound, which is not intuitive for English speakers. This geographical term not only enriches our vocabulary with a word of Greek origin but also challenges our phonetic skills, demonstrating the way English pronunciation can incorporate complex consonant clusters from other languages, requiring precise articulation.

The word “RURAL,” describing countryside areas, is challenging because of the rolling ‘r’ sounds and the need to articulate them distinctly without blending them together. Its pronunciation difficulty accentuates the linguistic phenomenon where similar sounds are juxtaposed, demanding dexterity in speech production and highlighting the diverse sound patterns that English speakers must master.

A figure of speech where a part represents the whole, “si-NEK-də-kee” often confuses with its silent ‘c’ and the unusual ‘eck’ sound followed by ‘də’. This literary term not only enriches the English language with a concept that captures the complexity of representation but also presents a pronunciation challenge that reflects the intricate relationship between spelling and sound in English, showcasing the language’s deep literary traditions.

Chiaroscuro

This term from art, pronounced “kee-ahr-ə-SKYOOR-oh,” refers to the contrast between light and dark. Its Italian origin provides a non-intuitive pronunciation for English speakers, with a challenging ‘ch’ sound that is pronounced as ‘kee’. Chiaroscuro not only adds depth to our artistic vocabulary but also exemplifies the phonetic challenges of adopting foreign terms into English, requiring speakers to navigate the nuanced sounds of Italian within an English context.

In British English, “draught” is pronounced “DRAFT” and refers to a current of air or a serving of drink. The ‘augh’ spelling leading to an ‘aft’ sound can be misleading for those learning English. This word illustrates the complexities of English spelling conventions and the variations in pronunciation that can occur, even within the same language, challenging speakers to adapt to context-specific pronunciations.

This Italian dish, pronounced “NYOH-kee,” has a silent ‘g’, which often leads to pronunciation errors among those unfamiliar with Italian phonetics. Gnocchi highlights the delightful challenges of culinary vocabulary, where food names from various cultures enrich the English language, inviting speakers to explore the sounds and tastes of international cuisines while navigating the intricacies of pronunciation.

Onomatopoeia

Representing words that imitate sounds, “on-uh-mat-uh-PEE-uh” can be perplexing due to its mix of vowels and the ‘poeia’ ending, which is not common in English. Onomatopoeia itself is a linguistic echo of the concept it represents, challenging speakers to articulate a word that mirrors the very phenomenon of sound imitation, embodying the playful and imitative nature of language.

This berry, pronounced “ah-SAH-ee,” has gained popularity in health circles but its pronunciation can be elusive due to its Brazilian Portuguese origin. Acai’s entry into the English language underscores the global exchange of goods and ideas, challenging speakers to adapt their pronunciation to honor the word’s cultural roots, thus reflecting the linguistic diversity and adaptability inherent in English.

“EP-i-tome,” meaning a perfect example, often gets mispronounced due to the ‘tome’ looking like it should sound as in ‘home,’ rather than the correct ‘tuhm’. This word serves as a linguistic epitome of English’s idiosyncratic nature, where pronunciation cannot always be inferred from spelling, necessitating a deeper understanding of phonetic rules and exceptions.

A word that describes bias or discrimination, “PREJ-uh-dis,” can be tricky because the ‘u’ is pronounced as a ‘j’ sound, which is not immediately obvious. Prejudice in its pronunciation reflects the nuanced and often unexpected nature of English phonetics, where letters can combine to produce sounds that challenge the speaker’s expectations, requiring careful articulation and attention to phonological patterns.

A figure of speech that involves exaggeration, “hy-PER-bə-lee” often gets mistaken for its literal spelling pronunciation, leading to confusion. Hyperbole, in both its meaning and pronunciation, exemplifies the dramatic and expressive potential of English, inviting speakers to explore the expressive depth of the language while navigating its phonetic intricacies.

“Fa-SAHd,” a word that describes the front of a building or a superficial appearance, has a silent ‘c’ and a ‘çade’ that sounds like ‘sahd’, stemming from its French origin. Facade’s pronunciation challenges highlight the aesthetic dimension of English, where words borrowed from other languages bring with them a richness of sound and meaning, requiring speakers to adapt their pronunciation to these linguistic imports.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, a whimsical word popularized by the film “Mary Poppins,” is pronounced “soo-per-kal-uh-fraj-uh-lis-tik-eks-pee-al-i-DO-shus.” This term embodies the playful side of English, challenging speakers with its length and the succession of varied phonetic components. Its pronunciation invites a lively rhythm and an engaging articulation, mirroring the word’s intention to convey a sense of wonder and incredibility. It not only tests the speaker’s linguistic dexterity but also highlights the language’s capacity for creative expression, blending whimsy and complexity in a single, memorable utterance.

Pronounced “THUR-oh,” this word represents completeness or being done in a detailed and careful manner. The pronunciation challenge comes from the ‘ough’ ending, which can represent various sounds in English, making it a prime example of English’s inconsistency in spelling and pronunciation. Thorough encapsulates the meticulous attention to detail required in both its application and articulation, underscoring the precision and complexity of English phonetics and spelling.

Mischievous

Often mistakenly pronounced as “MIS-chee-vee-us,” the correct pronunciation is “MIS-chiv-us,” with the accent on the first syllable and no ‘ee’ sound in the third syllable. This common mispronunciation reflects the playful nature of the word itself, as well as the complexity of English vowel and consonant placements. Mischievous, with its deceptive pronunciation, invites speakers to engage with the language’s whimsical side, challenging them to navigate its phonetic twists and turns.

Specificity

The quality of being clear and exact, “spe-SIF-i-city,” can be a tongue twister with its repetition of ‘s’ and ‘c’ sounds and the stress on the ‘SIF’. It challenges the speaker to maintain clarity while navigating through a sequence of similar sounds, emphasizing the precision required in both language and thought. Specificity’s pronunciation demands a careful balance of articulation and rhythm, mirroring the exactness the word itself describes, and highlighting the meticulous nature of English pronunciation.

When something is not in a straight or level position, it’s “a-SKEW.” The ‘ew’ at the end can be misleading, suggesting a different pronunciation. This word playfully challenges our expectations, both in terms of its meaning and its pronunciation, reflecting the whimsical aspects of English. Askew not only tests the speaker’s ability to pronounce vowel combinations accurately but also embodies the language’s capacity for nuanced expression, capturing the slightly off-kilter nature of things that are askew.

Often colloquially mispronounced as “LI-berry,” the correct pronunciation is “LI-brer-y,” with three syllables and the emphasis on the first. This common error underscores the importance of phonetic accuracy in preserving the integrity of words and their meanings. Library, as a word, encapsulates the wealth of knowledge and learning, and its pronunciation serves as a reminder of the importance of precision and clarity in language, reflecting the careful articulation required to navigate the vast landscape of English vocabulary.

The second month of the year, “FEB-roo-air-ee,” often loses its first ‘r’ in common pronunciation, leading to a widespread mispronunciation as “FEB-yoo-air-ee.” This alteration in pronunciation reflects the natural tendency to simplify complex word structures in everyday speech. February’s pronunciation challenges remind us of the temporal and seasonal markers in our language, highlighting the historical and etymological layers embedded within the words we use to denote time, encouraging speakers to engage with the phonetic heritage of English.

Commonly abbreviated as etc., “et SET-er-ah” frequently gets slurred into “ek-SET-er-ah” or “ek-cet-ra,” obscuring its Latin roots. This abbreviation highlights the challenges of maintaining the integrity of phrases borrowed from other languages, emphasizing the importance of precision in pronunciation. Et cetera invites speakers to explore the nuances of English’s adoption of Latin phrases, serving as a linguistic reminder of the language’s historical breadth and the ongoing dialogue between English and the languages from which it borrows, enriching its expressive capabilities.

The English language is a living, breathing entity that continually evolves and surprises us with its complexity. The pronunciation challenges posed by these 30 words highlight the linguistic diversity and rich history embedded within the language. By exploring and mastering these difficult pronunciations, we not only refine our own linguistic skills but also pay homage to the myriad cultures and languages that have influenced English over the centuries. Let these words inspire you to delve deeper into the quirks and idiosyncrasies of English, making your linguistic journey all the more enriching. Overcoming these challenges not only enhances our communication skills but also bridges cultural divides, allowing us to appreciate the vast landscape of human language and expression. This exploration into the hard-to-pronounce words of English not only broadens our vocabulary but also deepens our understanding of the language’s phonetic richness, encouraging a continued curiosity and respect for the intricacies of linguistic expression.

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Word of the day

Word of the Day: archipelago

This word has appeared in 123 articles on NYTimes.com in the past year. Can you use it in a sentence?

By The Learning Network

archipelago \ ɑrkəˈpɛləgoʊ \ noun

: a group of many islands in a large body of water

Listen to the pronunciation.

The word archipelago has appeared in 123 articles on NYTimes.com in the past year, including on Jan. 3 in “ How Charles Darwin Found Inspiration on the Cape Verde Islands ” by Ben Crair:

Charles Darwin was 22 years old when he first peeled a banana. “Maukish & sweet with little flavor,” he noted in his journal from Santiago, the main island in the Cape Verde archipelago off the coast of West Africa. He preferred oranges and tamarinds, feasting at every opportunity on tropical fruit after three awful weeks at sea. … Today, Cape Verde is an independent nation of 10 islands and nearly 600,000 citizens speaking Creole and Portuguese. Tourists from Europe usually head to Sal and Boa Vista, where resorts partition white-sand beaches; adventurous visitors climb the active volcano on Fogo or celebrate Carnival on São Vicente.

Daily Word Challenge

Can you correctly use the word archipelago in a sentence?

Based on the definition and example provided, write a sentence using today’s Word of the Day and share it as a comment on this article. It is most important that your sentence makes sense and demonstrates that you understand the word’s definition, but we also encourage you to be creative and have fun.

If you want a better idea of how archipelago can be used in a sentence, read these usage examples on Vocabulary.com . You can also visit this guide to learn how to use IPA symbols to show how different words are pronounced.

If you enjoy this daily challenge, try our vocabulary quizzes .

Students ages 13 and older in the United States and the United Kingdom, and 16 and older elsewhere, can comment. All comments are moderated by the Learning Network staff.

The Word of the Day is provided by Vocabulary.com . Learn more and see usage examples across a range of subjects in the Vocabulary.com Dictionary . See every Word of the Day in this column .

Definition of 'essay'

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That Viral Essay Wasn’t About Age Gaps. It Was About Marrying Rich.

But both tactics are flawed if you want to have any hope of becoming yourself..

Women are wisest, a viral essay in New York magazine’s the Cut argues , to maximize their most valuable cultural assets— youth and beauty—and marry older men when they’re still very young. Doing so, 27-year-old writer Grazie Sophia Christie writes, opens up a life of ease, and gets women off of a male-defined timeline that has our professional and reproductive lives crashing irreconcilably into each other. Sure, she says, there are concessions, like one’s freedom and entire independent identity. But those are small gives in comparison to a life in which a person has no adult responsibilities, including the responsibility to become oneself.

This is all framed as rational, perhaps even feminist advice, a way for women to quit playing by men’s rules and to reject exploitative capitalist demands—a choice the writer argues is the most obviously intelligent one. That other Harvard undergraduates did not busy themselves trying to attract wealthy or soon-to-be-wealthy men seems to flummox her (taking her “high breasts, most of my eggs, plausible deniability when it came to purity, a flush ponytail, a pep in my step that had yet to run out” to the Harvard Business School library, “I could not understand why my female classmates did not join me, given their intelligence”). But it’s nothing more than a recycling of some of the oldest advice around: For women to mold themselves around more-powerful men, to never grow into independent adults, and to find happiness in a state of perpetual pre-adolescence, submission, and dependence. These are odd choices for an aspiring writer (one wonders what, exactly, a girl who never wants to grow up and has no idea who she is beyond what a man has made her into could possibly have to write about). And it’s bad advice for most human beings, at least if what most human beings seek are meaningful and happy lives.

But this is not an essay about the benefits of younger women marrying older men. It is an essay about the benefits of younger women marrying rich men. Most of the purported upsides—a paid-for apartment, paid-for vacations, lives split between Miami and London—are less about her husband’s age than his wealth. Every 20-year-old in the country could decide to marry a thirtysomething and she wouldn’t suddenly be gifted an eternal vacation.

Which is part of what makes the framing of this as an age-gap essay both strange and revealing. The benefits the writer derives from her relationship come from her partner’s money. But the things she gives up are the result of both their profound financial inequality and her relative youth. Compared to her and her peers, she writes, her husband “struck me instead as so finished, formed.” By contrast, “At 20, I had felt daunted by the project of becoming my ideal self.” The idea of having to take responsibility for her own life was profoundly unappealing, as “adulthood seemed a series of exhausting obligations.” Tying herself to an older man gave her an out, a way to skip the work of becoming an adult by allowing a father-husband to mold her to his desires. “My husband isn’t my partner,” she writes. “He’s my mentor, my lover, and, only in certain contexts, my friend. I’ll never forget it, how he showed me around our first place like he was introducing me to myself: This is the wine you’ll drink, where you’ll keep your clothes, we vacation here, this is the other language we’ll speak, you’ll learn it, and I did.”

These, by the way, are the things she says are benefits of marrying older.

The downsides are many, including a basic inability to express a full range of human emotion (“I live in an apartment whose rent he pays and that constrains the freedom with which I can ever be angry with him”) and an understanding that she owes back, in some other form, what he materially provides (the most revealing line in the essay may be when she claims that “when someone says they feel unappreciated, what they really mean is you’re in debt to them”). It is clear that part of what she has paid in exchange for a paid-for life is a total lack of any sense of self, and a tacit agreement not to pursue one. “If he ever betrayed me and I had to move on, I would survive,” she writes, “but would find in my humor, preferences, the way I make coffee or the bed nothing that he did not teach, change, mold, recompose, stamp with his initials.”

Reading Christie’s essay, I thought of another one: Joan Didion’s on self-respect , in which Didion argues that “character—the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life—is the source from which self-respect springs.” If we lack self-respect, “we are peculiarly in thrall to everyone we see, curiously determined to live out—since our self-image is untenable—their false notions of us.” Self-respect may not make life effortless and easy. But it means that whenever “we eventually lie down alone in that notoriously un- comfortable bed, the one we make ourselves,” at least we can fall asleep.

It can feel catty to publicly criticize another woman’s romantic choices, and doing so inevitably opens one up to accusations of jealousy or pettiness. But the stories we tell about marriage, love, partnership, and gender matter, especially when they’re told in major culture-shaping magazines. And it’s equally as condescending to say that women’s choices are off-limits for critique, especially when those choices are shared as universal advice, and especially when they neatly dovetail with resurgent conservative efforts to make women’s lives smaller and less independent. “Marry rich” is, as labor economist Kathryn Anne Edwards put it in Bloomberg, essentially the Republican plan for mothers. The model of marriage as a hierarchy with a breadwinning man on top and a younger, dependent, submissive woman meeting his needs and those of their children is not exactly a fresh or groundbreaking ideal. It’s a model that kept women trapped and miserable for centuries.

It’s also one that profoundly stunted women’s intellectual and personal growth. In her essay for the Cut, Christie seems to believe that a life of ease will abet a life freed up for creative endeavors, and happiness. But there’s little evidence that having material abundance and little adversity actually makes people happy, let alone more creatively generativ e . Having one’s basic material needs met does seem to be a prerequisite for happiness. But a meaningful life requires some sense of self, an ability to look outward rather than inward, and the intellectual and experiential layers that come with facing hardship and surmounting it.

A good and happy life is not a life in which all is easy. A good and happy life (and here I am borrowing from centuries of philosophers and scholars) is one characterized by the pursuit of meaning and knowledge, by deep connections with and service to other people (and not just to your husband and children), and by the kind of rich self-knowledge and satisfaction that comes from owning one’s choices, taking responsibility for one’s life, and doing the difficult and endless work of growing into a fully-formed person—and then evolving again. Handing everything about one’s life over to an authority figure, from the big decisions to the minute details, may seem like a path to ease for those who cannot stomach the obligations and opportunities of their own freedom. It’s really an intellectual and emotional dead end.

And what kind of man seeks out a marriage like this, in which his only job is to provide, but very much is owed? What kind of man desires, as the writer cast herself, a raw lump of clay to be molded to simply fill in whatever cracks in his life needed filling? And if the transaction is money and guidance in exchange for youth, beauty, and pliability, what happens when the young, beautiful, and pliable party inevitably ages and perhaps feels her backbone begin to harden? What happens if she has children?

The thing about using youth and beauty as a currency is that those assets depreciate pretty rapidly. There is a nearly endless supply of young and beautiful women, with more added each year. There are smaller numbers of wealthy older men, and the pool winnows down even further if one presumes, as Christie does, that many of these men want to date and marry compliant twentysomethings. If youth and beauty are what you’re exchanging for a man’s resources, you’d better make sure there’s something else there—like the basic ability to provide for yourself, or at the very least a sense of self—to back that exchange up.

It is hard to be an adult woman; it’s hard to be an adult, period. And many women in our era of unfinished feminism no doubt find plenty to envy about a life in which they don’t have to work tirelessly to barely make ends meet, don’t have to manage the needs of both children and man-children, could simply be taken care of for once. This may also explain some of the social media fascination with Trad Wives and stay-at-home girlfriends (some of that fascination is also, I suspect, simply a sexual submission fetish , but that’s another column). Fantasies of leisure reflect a real need for it, and American women would be far better off—happier, freer—if time and resources were not so often so constrained, and doled out so inequitably.

But the way out is not actually found in submission, and certainly not in electing to be carried by a man who could choose to drop you at any time. That’s not a life of ease. It’s a life of perpetual insecurity, knowing your spouse believes your value is decreasing by the day while his—an actual dollar figure—rises. A life in which one simply allows another adult to do all the deciding for them is a stunted life, one of profound smallness—even if the vacations are nice.