dear future me essay

Blog Writing letters to the future

Dear Future Self letters: a FutureMe compilation

If you’ve ever written a letter to your future self, you know it can be a valuable tool for reflection. You can even use it as a form of expressive therapy similar to diary writing. But how do others to it? And what can we learn from them?

Published Feb 27th, 2023

You can write a FutureMe letter to encourage your future self and stay on track to your goals. Or you can just use it get your thoughts from the present moment out on paper, to clear your mind and let your future self look back on what your life was like, and see how far you've come.

The letter writing process seems simple, right? You just write what you want to say to yourself in the future, choose when you want it to be sent, and even choose to share it publicly but anonymously. Easy!

…or is it? All too often we suffer from writer’s block and can’t work out what to put in that empty space on the letter page . Where should we start? What’s most important? What does it all mean?!

Chill. Those Public Letters we mentioned a minute ago are full of great letter writing inspo. Here’s a quick compilation of some hand-picked goodies to get your creative juices fizzing. Hopefully, the writers’ words will serve not just to uplift their future selves, but to give you and idea or two for your own letters.

Strength in adversity

First up, a beautiful letter that provides words of encouragement during times of challenge. It reminds us of the beauty of motherhood, and the author’s remarkable inner strength.

Dear FutureMe,

This is your past self, I'm glad you have your license and many more accomplishments you have achieved so far. Just know it wasn't easy. Stay humble and realize where you came from. Take a minute to reflect on the things you struggled on and cried about. The support you have, the love you showed and many more. You are a boss babe and a boss mom. You wanted this so bad so your children can live the life you always wanted and never have to worry about anything. Break generational curses and be the one who makes millions have more money and gives the most. Don't stay where you are now, elevate to the highest point you can and continue to go forward. Have a healthy mind and a healthy body. Have an incredible life experience, which includes all the things you want. Better: person, money, love life, best friend, family, relationship, pay.  No hate or evil things can bring you down as long as the universe is within you.

Self-supporter

This super-inspiring letter highlights that you — yes you! — should be your greatest and most loyal supporter. It's important to high-5 yourself for your achievements and to remember that you have the power to manifest your dreams by forging your own path with hard work.

Oh my gosh you did it! You formed your business and it's growing! You are reaching people and beginning to change peoples lives! Keep going and don't forget why you started this! Keep striving and giving people a different way to connect with themselves. You look so beautiful when you embody yourself and allow all of the criticism and judgment to fade away. Don’t let a few things hold you back.

Not everyone understands what you are doing, still just keep creating momentum around Authentic Soul, keep pushing your brand forward because you are going to reach millions of people. You are finally living in your soul assignment and helping the collective.

Keep striving, keep creating, keep connecting, you are the brightest star.

One of the most common — and, tbh, depressing — forms of discouragement? Not seeing the results of our efforts immediately. We push, we hustle and yet … nothing seems to come of it. The whole world seems to be against us. We might even wonder what our past selves were thinking when we set out to achieve whatever it is we want. But of course, good things take time, and this letter speaks volumes about that.

Firstly, I am so proud of you - for the steps you are taking and the moves you are making. It seems like a slow process sometimes, but it's your process, only one day at a time and wherever it is you'll get there. Don't be discouraged, working and learning has always been challenging, and now more than ever you've got a lot on your shoulders. However, push and it will be worth it.

I must say I've been struggling to process why things have been as hard as they have. Why sometimes the darkness seems engulfing. I see glimpses of the light and I try to hold on to those moments for dear life. I hope when you read this that you are in a better space, that things are finally looking up and going in your favor.

I hope you learn a lot this year and that you grow in all the ways that you are expecting to. Remember we wanted our PhD before we turned 29? lol. Don't let that dream go. Remember to eat 3 meals a day and drink plenty of water. Oh and I love you, in case no one has told you lately.

Motivational memo

This FutureMe letter is a fantastic example of how your past self can motivate your future self to real progress! 

Remember that time moves quickly. The longer you put off getting started on your goals, the less you'll be able to achieve them and meet your future objectives. Act now; things don't need to be perfect. You can work on perfecting them as time goes. But you can't even start perfecting something that hasn't been started.

Everything doesn't have to be the worst version of itself. Know that the worst may happen, but remind yourself that in most cases, a positive outcome is the norm.

Dwell on the positive!

Staying focused

Another amazing letter of encouragement, this one tells the future self to stay focused on the goals that really matter. We love to see it!

Keep calm if you haven't achieved all the planned goals that you had. It is okay to be stuck somewhere and get delayed. This won't stop you from achieving what you want.

Just keep this in mind,

Life is a learning process, embrace every moment and work hard to achieve what you want.

See you soon.

Reflect and learn

This truly wonderful letter by Noah is an awesome take on how you can use FutureMe to reflect on the lessons you've learned in life. Did you take a knitting class, photography seminar, or maybe an interesting history course in college? Jot down what you learned and then ask your future self if you've used the lessons since then.

I am writing to you at the close of the mindfulness course you just took. Hello!

Here is what I have to say to you: if you can make a practice of being as warm and as forgiving and as generous to yourself as you are to others, it will unlock much of what you want to do in the world.

I hope this has been a year of being warm and forgiving and generous to yourself! And if not, just like in meditation practice when your mind drifts away, may this coming year be one of coming back to treating yourself with that love and respect that you insist on practicing for everyone you come across.

I love you! You should love you, too.

You get the idea: there are plenty of places to start your next letter to your future self. Whether you use it to reflect on some of your favorite things, reminisce about close friends and family, set some realistic goals and celebrate your success, or just have fun sending some words of inspiration and encouragement, writing a letter to your future self is worth it.

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Writing a Letter to Your Future Self: Benefits, Guide, and Template

Writing a letter to our future selves is a simple yet profound practice that has the power to transform our lives.

 This act of self-expression serves as a conduit to our innermost thoughts, allowing us to capture our hopes, fears, and desires in a tangible form. By embarking on this journey of self-reflection, we open ourselves up to the possibility of profound personal growth and positive change. In this article, we delve into the remarkable impact of writing a letter to your future self and explore how this practice can shape the trajectory of your life.

3 Reasons to Write a Letter to Your Future Self: Benefits

1. reflection and self-awareness.

Writing a letter to your future self provides a unique opportunity for reflection and self-awareness. By capturing your current thoughts, emotions, and experiences, you gain insight into who you are at this moment in time. This act of self-reflection allows you to understand your desires, fears, and motivations, enabling you to navigate your life with greater clarity and purpose.

2. Goal Setting and Intentions

One of the remarkable benefits of writing a letter to your future self is the ability to set clear goals and intentions. As you pen your thoughts, dreams, and aspirations, you articulate your vision for the future. This goal-setting process helps you identify what truly matters to you and creates a roadmap for achieving your desired outcomes. The act of writing down your goals significantly increases your commitment to them, making you more likely to take the necessary steps to turn them into reality.

3. Personal Growth and Transformation

Revisiting the letter to your future self allows you to witness your personal growth and transformation over time. Months or even years later, as you open the letter, you gain a fresh perspective on your past self. You can celebrate the progress you've made, acknowledge the challenges you've overcome, and recognize the person you've become. This powerful reminder of your resilience and personal evolution serves as motivation to continue growing and striving toward your dreams.

How to Write a Letter to Your Future Self

Choose a meaningful timeframe.

Select a timeframe for your letter that aligns with your goals. You may opt for a year, five years, or even a decade into the future. Consider both long-term and short-term perspectives to capture different aspects of your life journey.

Find a Quiet and Inspiring Environment

Create a calm and distraction-free space for writing your letter. Find a place that inspires you and allows your thoughts to flow freely. Consider incorporating elements such as soothing music, scented candles, or natural surroundings to enhance your creativity and introspection.

Reflect on Your Current State

Take the time to reflect on your current thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Explore your strengths, weaknesses, and areas for growth. Use this opportunity to gain clarity about what you want to achieve and the person you want to become.

Set Clear Goals and Intentions

Define specific goals and aspirations in your letter. Be clear about what you want to accomplish and the steps you plan to take to achieve them. Write down your intentions with conviction, and visualize the future you desire.

Express Your Emotions and Dreams

Let your emotions flow onto the paper. Be authentic and vulnerable as you share your hopes, fears, and dreams. Use this letter as a safe space to express yourself fully and honestly.

In the TED video below, Meg Jay shares the essential questions to ask your future self thus enabling your present and future to align so you can start achieving your goals.

Use the ‘GROW’ Template for Writing To Your Future Self

G - Gratitude and Reflection

R - Realizations and Lessons Learned

O - Outlook and Aspirations

W - Wishes and Dreams

Now let's break down each step of the acronym:

G - Gratitude and Reflection:

Express gratitude for the experiences, people, and opportunities that have shaped your life. Reflect on the positive aspects and milestones you have achieved. Acknowledge the blessings and lessons you have received along the way.

R - Realizations and Lessons Learned:

Share the realizations you have had about yourself, others, and the world around you. Reflect on the lessons you have learned from various experiences and challenges. Discuss how these insights have impacted your growth and understanding.

O - Outlook and Aspirations:

Describe your current outlook on life and the future. Share your aspirations and goals for personal and professional development. Discuss the vision you have for yourself and the steps you plan to take to achieve it.

W - Wishes and Dreams:

Articulate your wishes and dreams for the future. Share the things you hope to experience, the places you want to visit, or the achievements you aspire to. Express your deepest desires and the possibilities you envision for yourself.

By following the "GROW" acronym, you can structure your letter to your future self, covering gratitude and reflection, realizations and lessons learned, outlook and aspirations, as well as wishes and dreams. This framework allows you to reflect on your journey, express your aspirations, and inspire your future self.

Revisiting Your Letter

Timing and frequency.

Decide when and how often you will open the letter to your future self. Give yourself enough time to grow and experience life before revisiting it. Some choose to open it on a specific date or milestone, while others prefer to keep it sealed for several years.

Reflection and Assessment

As you read your letter, reflect on the goals and intentions you set. Assess your progress, achievements, and the lessons you have learned along the way. Celebrate your successes and use any setbacks as opportunities for growth and course correction.

Adjusting and Realigning

Based on your newfound insights, make adjustments and realign your path as needed. Goals may change, and priorities may shift over time. Use the letter as a guide to navigate your journey and stay connected to your authentic self.

Writing a letter to your future self is a powerful practice that invites self-reflection, goal-setting, and personal growth. It allows you to capture the essence of who you are today and provides a glimpse into the person you aspire to become. Embrace this transformative journey of self-discovery, and let the act of writing guide you toward a future filled with purpose, fulfillment, and growth. So take some time to sit down and put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, and send a message to the person you hope to become.

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I’ve seen a lot of letters to past selves. Here’s what I would say to my post-pandemic self, they read. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are the only one you can count on. Slow down. You can’t go through life afraid to live it. You’re going to be so proud of yourself! I even wrote one in 2019, a tough love letter to my twenty-something self. But why look back? What about our future selves? What questions do we want to ask? What do we wonder?

The theme on Wit & Delight this month is “Show Up As Yourself.” So, I was intrigued to write about the possibility of change and speak to a portion of myself I don’t know. I want to explore how the future me might feel. I want to dedicate time to that mystery soul. This person could have children, not have children, experience loss, grow old, find growth, experience unknown pain, and develop new habits. When we write to selves about the past, we know them and there’s a pompous clarity in the writing. Sure, giving advice to our past selves is fun. But is it helpful? How can we best explore who we might become? How can we best break down the walls of the person we’re afraid to see? How do we write about the unknown?

I want to write a letter with more intention. I want to ask questions and discover what scares me about getting older. In a way, that’s what the most honest writing does for us anyway.

When I think about it, we are always (sort of) writing to future versions of ourselves. We write through dreams and aspirations, ideals, and healing. We imagine the future in great depth, struggling to center on the present. But, I want to write a letter with more intention. I want to ask questions and discover what scares me about getting older. In a way, that’s what the most honest writing does for us anyway. Right? Okay, here goes nothing/everything.

Dear future self,

Hi, it’s me from the past. I’m thirty-five. I don’t know how old you are now. I’m envisioning you’re in your sixties. You’ve lived an entire life. You’re as old as your mom was when you wrote this letter. I guess this letter is sort of like inception. I’m so afraid to write this. I’m struggling to imagine who you are. Can I be honest? You’re you, after all. Right now, I feel selfish. I want to tell you all the things I want in my life. I hope you got them. Right now, your thirty-something self is needy. I want a baby. I don’t want a baby. I want more money. I want to live within my means. Beyond my means. I want more time. I want to scoop minutes up and feel like I can’t possibly carry all the hours to the end of my driveway. I want everyone to live forever. I don’t want to experience deep grief. I’m so lucky. I’m so selfish. 

If you’re sixty, lucky enough to live until then, I know you’ve experienced pain by now. The deep kind, the oceanic kind, the kind that is so dark and expansive, you wouldn’t be able to explain it to me. Are you okay with that grief? I read this quote in Susan Cain’s book Bittersweet recently (you should read it again and see how you feel). “If we could honor sadness a little more, maybe we could see it—rather than enforced smiles and righteous outrage—as the bridge we need to connect with each other. We could remember that no matter how distasteful we might find someone’s opinions, no matter how radiant, or fierce, someone may appear, they have suffered, or they will.” I didn’t mean to jump right into suffering. That must be my fear pouring through. You’ve always been a deeply melancholic person. You love sad music. You have an acute awareness of passing time. You have a joyful curiosity about specific beauty points in the world. Lately, I’ve identified with the Arabic proverb, “Days of honey, days of onion.” You are the definition of bittersweet. Are you still? 

I also read in Bittersweet that, as we get older, we find comfort with the passing of time. I imagine you don’t try and slow it down. You are a quiet way of being, a force of storied tradition, loss, and joy. Does that feel beautiful?

I’m sure you’ve turned toward many humans, loved them, held them, and cared for them. But I hope you’ve done the same for yourself. Somehow, I know you will.

I have some wishes, as well. I hope you transform your sorrow and longings into art. I hope you’ve written a lot of letters. I hope work didn’t consume you, even though you let your job get away from you in your thirties. I hope you gave your parents the stage and the time. I’m sure you’ve turned toward many humans, loved them, held them, and cared for them. But I hope you’ve done the same for yourself. Somehow, I know you will. I want you to remember a few things about this time in your life. I want you to remember how light you felt when you rode Crow, that big chestnut horse you adored. I want you to remember how it felt to see your words in print for the first time, proof you exist. I want you to remember your little yard in front of your first home, the mow lines, and how much you care about grass and impressing the neighbors. I want you to remember late nights in the garage with Jake, refurbishing furniture so everything in your home always reminds you of the work, the polish. I want you to remember the smell of hot tomatoes and summer with your small niece and nephew. I want you to remember their sticky cheeks and bursting, tiny voices. Remember that Jake loves to build you things. Remember the ocean with your mom and sister, how it feels to reach out to them, and love them in the morning fog of Carmel. Remember the Northwoods with your friends when none of you had children. Remember hot, fried buttered buns at fish fries and how much time you had to watch your peonies grow. Remember the feverish wanting of pregnancy , the unknown hope of craving expansiveness, a physical outwardness. 

I also want you to remember the hard things. I want you to remember living paycheck to paycheck, not being able to get the things you wanted because you didn’t have enough money. I want you to remember the doctor bills you struggled to pay, crying on the way home from work, not being able to imagine traveling to other countries, and wondering if your life was limited to 200 miles north, east, south, and west of your home. Did you travel more? Do you still feel this? All these things will feel different to you now, perhaps as distant memories. Small moments in your thirties that you’ll read later like you’re starving. Perhaps there’s something else entirely that makes you feel light. I hope you’re still riding. I can imagine you still care about clean yards and a pretty lawn. That’s what makes you a lot like your dad. We carry our family with us everywhere.

When you were in grade school, you’d write long lists of “favorite things” so you could look back years later and read about how much you’d changed. You were obsessed with seeing that, five years ago, you had a crush on so-and-so and loved (god forbid!) The O.C. and the color blue . 

All these things will feel different to you now, perhaps as distant memories. Small moments in your thirties that you’ll read later like you’re starving. Perhaps there’s something else entirely that makes you feel light.

Let’s try that again! Right now, I’m really into Brené Brown’s podcast (are podcasts still a thing?), Dirty Shirleys, antiquing, The Vermont Country Store catalog, my Gentle Reminder Calendar , Paper Mate colorful pens , watching Love Island (sorry, future me), dressing like Meryl Streep in It’s Complicated , sleep aids like sipping iced Sleepy Time Tea before bed, horse head bookends, weather patterns, gingham accents, and how Jake looks at me when I’m talking about something I love. Do you still love these things? Do you wish for them? In my Passion Planner , I write down the biggest lesson I learn every month. Here’s what I’ve written this year:

• Resonance is important.
• Nothing beyond love and kindness matters.
• Your anger is you. Not anyone else. Sit inside that.
• Stop anticipating, trust the burn.
• Being uncomfortable is progress.
• Sadness is wide, grief is a close friend.
• Nothing should be rushed.
• You can always go back.
• Hold fear and joy in equal glory. Both can exist at once.
• You are always doing better than you think.
• Dandelions are good.
• To be happy, be more tree.
• Don’t go to a concert high.

I’m sure you have so many to add now. Or maybe you don’t. Or maybe you think these are ridiculous. Or maybe you no longer find the need to make “lesson lists.” I’m happy. I have my hard days. I have bad habits. I haven’t gone to the dentist to fill those cavities, so I hope you don’t have five crowns by now. I am putting a lot of money toward my 401K, so I hope I’m setting you up for success. I’m doing my best. That’s the lesson here. My thirty-something best is hopefully your sixty-something peace of mind. 

Will people find this article on the internet in twenty-five years? ( Writer’s Note: Please don’t talk to me about how I’ll be sixty years old in twenty-five years.) Will they find it funny? Weird? I’m not sure. Perhaps, like in the past, internet articles will wash up like a lost bottle in the sea—little shards of the lived. And someday, I will come back to this past self, searching for my future. I might have to print it out, just in case. Either way, I hope you’re happy too. I hope life feels full. I hope the people in your life reflect how you have shown your beacon of light in the world, no matter how faint or how strong.  Sincerely, Brittany, your thirty-something (past) self

Lastly, I highly recommend you try this exercise.

Writing to a later version of myself gave me some specific clarity about who I want to be and how I want to grow. 

Here are some tips to try to write your own “future-self” letter:

• Write down what you want to remember.
• Write down what you don’t want to remember.
• Write about your favorite things.
• Jot down notes about how you’re feeling right now.
• Scribble down the lessons you’ve learned.
• Ask your future self how you’re different now.
• Lastly, write a note to yourself in a year, three years, five years… put them in an envelope and write down the date you can read them again.

Will you write yours?

Brittany Chaffee is an avid storyteller, professional empath, and author. On the daily, she gets paid to strategize and create content for brands. Off work hours, it’s all about a well-lit place, warm bread, and good company. She lives in St.Paul with her baby brother cats, Rami and Monkey. Follow her on Instagram , read more about her latest book, Borderline , and (most importantly) go hug your mother.

BY Brittany Chaffee - September 20, 2022

Like what you see? Share Wit & Delight with a friend: 

amazing article.

Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!

What an interesting thing to do I love this idea!

xo Jessica <a href=”https://anindigoday.com/”>an indigo day</a>

Thank you, Jessica! Let me know if you give it a try!

This was absolutely beautiful – I did not expect to stumble across this this morning. Your writing is soft, and clever, and inspiring. You should be proud of what you created here. Thank you for sharing.

I appreciate this so much 🙂 Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Trying this exercise truly helped me feel closer to myself and I hope it helps others do too! xoxo

This was absolutely beautiful. I didn’t expect to get emotional reading it but as a 36 year old woman so much of what you said was relatable. Thank you

Thank you so kindly, Melissa! This makes my day to hear you could relate to this letter. It was so meaningful for me to write, so I’m happy it was for you as well!

Amazing article! Thanks for the positive and encouraging words of wisdom! 😊

Thank you so much for reading, Britney! Have a lovely weekend!

Thank you for this. I am 70 and my 8 year old adopted daughter has an assignment to do this very thing. I think it will be a great experience for her. Your words reached my heart and came out of my eyes. Thank you

Hello, Diane. It is so incredible to me that your daughter is doing this exercise! I think I did something like it at her age too and I wish I could find that letter now. Thank you for reading and loving.

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