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On Self-Respect: Joan Didion’s 1961 Essay from the Pages of Vogue

By Joan Didion

Joan Didion , author, journalist, and style icon, died today after a prolonged illness. She was 87 years old. Here, in its original layout, is Didion’s seminal essay “Self-respect: Its Source, Its Power,” which was first published in Vogue in 1961, and which was republished as “On Self-Respect” in the author’s 1968 collection, Slouching Towards Bethlehem.​ Didion wrote the essay as the magazine was going to press, to fill the space left after another writer did not produce a piece on the same subject. She wrote it not to a word count or a line count, but to an exact character count.

Once, in a dry season, I wrote in large letters across two pages of a notebook that innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself. Although now, some years later, I marvel that a mind on the outs with itself should have nonetheless made painstaking record of its every tremor, I recall with embarrassing clarity the flavor of those particular ashes. It was a matter of misplaced self-respect.

I had not been elected to Phi Beta Kappa. This failure could scarcely have been more predictable or less ambiguous (I simply did not have the grades), but I was unnerved by it; I had somehow thought myself a kind of academic Raskolnikov, curiously exempt from the cause-effect relationships that hampered others. Although the situation must have had even then the approximate tragic stature of Scott Fitzgerald's failure to become president of the Princeton Triangle Club, the day that I did not make Phi Beta Kappa nevertheless marked the end of something, and innocence may well be the word for it. I lost the conviction that lights would always turn green for me, the pleasant certainty that those rather passive virtues which had won me approval as a child automatically guaranteed me not only Phi Beta Kappa keys but happiness, honour, and the love of a good man (preferably a cross between Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca and one of the Murchisons in a proxy fight); lost a certain touching faith in the totem power of good manners, clean hair, and proven competence on the Stanford-Binet scale. To such doubtful amulets had my self-respect been pinned, and I faced myself that day with the nonplussed wonder of someone who has come across a vampire and found no garlands of garlic at hand.

Although to be driven back upon oneself is an uneasy affair at best, rather like trying to cross a border with borrowed credentials, it seems to me now the one condition necessary to the beginnings of real self-respect. Most of our platitudes notwithstanding, self-deception remains the most difficult deception. The charms that work on others count for nothing in that devastatingly well-lit back alley where one keeps assignations with oneself: no winning smiles will do here, no prettily drawn lists of good intentions. With the desperate agility of a crooked faro dealer who spots Bat Masterson about to cut himself into the game, one shuffles flashily but in vain through one's marked cards—the kindness done for the wrong reason, the apparent triumph which had involved no real effort, the seemingly heroic act into which one had been shamed. The dismal fact is that self-respect has nothing to do with the approval of others—who are, after all, deceived easily enough; has nothing to do with reputation—which, as Rhett Butler told Scarlett O'Hara, is something that people with courage can do without.

To do without self-respect, on the other hand, is to be an unwilling audience of one to an interminable home movie that documents one's failings, both real and imagined, with fresh footage spliced in for each screening. There’s the glass you broke in anger, there's the hurt on X's face; watch now, this next scene, the night Y came back from Houston, see how you muff this one. To live without self-respect is to lie awake some night, beyond the reach of warm milk, phenobarbital, and the sleeping hand on the coverlet, counting up the sins of commission and omission, the trusts betrayed, the promises subtly broken, the gifts irrevocably wasted through sloth or cowardice or carelessness. However long we postpone it, we eventually lie down alone in that notoriously un- comfortable bed, the one we make ourselves. Whether or not we sleep in it depends, of course, on whether or not we respect ourselves.

Joan Didion

To protest that some fairly improbable people, some people who could not possibly respect themselves, seem to sleep easily enough is to miss the point entirely, as surely as those people miss it who think that self-respect has necessarily to do with not having safety pins in one's underwear. There is a common superstition that "self-respect" is a kind of charm against snakes, something that keeps those who have it locked in some unblighted Eden, out of strange beds, ambivalent conversations, and trouble in general. It does not at all. It has nothing to do with the face of things, but concerns instead a separate peace, a private reconciliation. Although the careless, suicidal Julian English in Appointment in Samarra and the careless, incurably dishonest Jordan Baker in The Great Gatsby seem equally improbable candidates for self-respect, Jordan Baker had it, Julian English did not. With that genius for accommodation more often seen in women than in men, Jordan took her own measure, made her own peace, avoided threats to that peace: "I hate careless people," she told Nick Carraway. "It takes two to make an accident."

By Rachel Besser

By Tiziana Cardini

By Christian Allaire

Like Jordan Baker, people with self-respect have the courage of their mistakes. They know the price of things. If they choose to commit adultery, they do not then go running, in an access of bad conscience, to receive absolution from the wronged parties; nor do they complain unduly of the unfairness, the undeserved embarrassment, of being named corespondent. If they choose to forego their work—say it is screenwriting—in favor of sitting around the Algonquin bar, they do not then wonder bitterly why the Hacketts, and not they, did Anne Frank.

In brief, people with self-respect exhibit a certain toughness, a kind of moral nerve; they display what was once called character, a quality which, although approved in the abstract, sometimes loses ground to other, more instantly negotiable virtues. The measure of its slipping prestige is that one tends to think of it only in connection with homely children and with United States senators who have been defeated, preferably in the primary, for re-election. Nonetheless, character—the willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life—is the source from which self-respect springs.

Self-respect is something that our grandparents, whether or not they had it, knew all about. They had instilled in them, young, a certain discipline, the sense that one lives by doing things one does not particularly want to do, by putting fears and doubts to one side, by weighing immediate comforts against the possibility of larger, even intangible, comforts. It seemed to the nineteenth century admirable, but not remarkable, that Chinese Gordon put on a clean white suit and held Khartoum against the Mahdi; it did not seem unjust that the way to free land in California involved death and difficulty and dirt. In a diary kept during the winter of 1846, an emigrating twelve-year-old named Narcissa Cornwall noted coolly: "Father was busy reading and did not notice that the house was being filled with strange Indians until Mother spoke about it." Even lacking any clue as to what Mother said, one can scarcely fail to be impressed by the entire incident: the father reading, the Indians filing in, the mother choosing the words that would not alarm, the child duly recording the event and noting further that those particular Indians were not, "fortunately for us," hostile. Indians were simply part of the donnée.

In one guise or another, Indians always are. Again, it is a question of recognizing that anything worth having has its price. People who respect themselves are willing to accept the risk that the Indians will be hostile, that the venture will go bankrupt, that the liaison may not turn out to be one in which every day is a holiday because you’re married to me. They are willing to invest something of themselves; they may not play at all, but when they do play, they know the odds.

That kind of self-respect is a discipline, a habit of mind that can never be faked but can be developed, trained, coaxed forth. It was once suggested to me that, as an antidote to crying, I put my head in a paper bag. As it happens, there is a sound physiological reason, something to do with oxygen, for doing exactly that, but the psychological effect alone is incalculable: it is difficult in the extreme to continue fancying oneself Cathy in Wuthering Heights with one's head in a Food Fair bag. There is a similar case for all the small disciplines, unimportant in themselves; imagine maintaining any kind of swoon, commiserative or carnal, in a cold shower.

But those small disciplines are valuable only insofar as they represent larger ones. To say that Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton is not to say that Napoleon might have been saved by a crash program in cricket; to give formal dinners in the rain forest would be pointless did not the candlelight flickering on the liana call forth deeper, stronger disciplines, values instilled long before. It is a kind of ritual, helping us to remember who and what we are. In order to remember it, one must have known it.

To have that sense of one's intrinsic worth which, for better or for worse, constitutes self-respect, is potentially to have everything: the ability to discriminate, to love and to remain indifferent. To lack it is to be locked within oneself, paradoxically incapable of either love or indifference. If we do not respect ourselves, we are on the one hand forced to despise those who have so few resources as to consort with us, so little perception as to remain blind to our fatal weaknesses. On the other, we are peculiarly in thrall to everyone we see, curiously determined to live out—since our self-image is untenable—their false notions of us. We flatter ourselves by thinking this compulsion to please others an attractive trait: a gift for imaginative empathy, evidence of our willingness to give. Of course we will play Francesca to Paolo, Brett Ashley to Jake, Helen Keller to anyone's Annie Sullivan: no expectation is too misplaced, no rôle too ludicrous. At the mercy of those we can not but hold in contempt, we play rôles doomed to failure before they are begun, each defeat generating fresh despair at the necessity of divining and meeting the next demand made upon us.

It is the phenomenon sometimes called alienation from self. In its advanced stages, we no longer answer the telephone, because someone might want something; that we could say no without drowning in self-reproach is an idea alien to this game. Every encounter demands too much, tears the nerves, drains the will, and the spectre of something as small as an unanswered letter arouses such disproportionate guilt that one's sanity becomes an object of speculation among one's acquaintances. To assign unanswered letters their proper weight, to free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves—there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect. Without it, one eventually discovers the final turn of the screw: one runs away to find oneself, and finds no one at home.

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The Impact of Self-Respect on Your Life

Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

RgStudio / Getty Images

According to the American Psychological Association, having self-respect means having a healthy regard for your character, values, and dignity. It is a measure of your self-worth .

Self-respect demands an appreciation of your identity as an individual, which in turn impacts your thoughts, values, emotions, commitments, and behaviors, says Judith Zackson , PhD, Founder and Clinical Director of Zackson Psychology Group.

This article explains the importance of respecting yourself and suggests some strategies to improve your sense of self-respect.

Benefits of Having Self-Respect

These are some of the benefits of having a healthy sense of self-respect, according to Dr. Zackson:

• Internal sense of happiness: People who respect themselves understand that they must first look inward to discover their worth, esteem, and happiness. As a result, their life is more stable and fulfilling than those who compare themselves to others or those who rely on external sources of validation.
• Commitment to upholding personal values: People with self-respect have a set of morals and values by which they evaluate their character and actions. They are often willing to bet all they have on upholding these norms of behavior, as their very worth and sense of self depend on it.
• Ability to establish boundaries: Self-respect requires people to have the fortitude to establish limits and fight for them when they are threatened. Respecting oneself enough to stand up for one’s beliefs and boundaries also helps command the respect of others.
• Strong sense of dignity: Respecting oneself means having a strong sense of dignity toward one’s person and position, and honoring it at all times.

Judith Zackson, PhD

Self-respect is the everyday discipline of loving who you are. It is the bedrock of developing self-acceptance and self-love. It's hard, if not impossible, to live a fulfilled, meaningful, and joyous life if you don't respect yourself first.

Potential Pitfalls of Having Low Self-Respect

Below, Dr. Zackson outlines some of the potential pitfalls of having low self-respect:

• Relying on external validation: Individuals with low self-respect allow others to define them, rather than defining themselves. They are more concerned with how others perceive them than what actually matters to them, and often lead fake lives as a result. They have a constant need for external validation and tend to be people pleasers .
• Living a life that lacks meaning: People who lack self-respect are unconcerned with their intrinsic values and the meaning of their lives. They are often impulsive, irresponsible, reliant on others, and self-destructive.
• Having a negative self-view: Those with limited self-respect are more vulnerable to having a negative view of themselves, which can cause them to engage in self-defeating behaviors such as negative self-talk .
• Developing unhealthy relationships: A balanced, wholesome view of oneself and a healthy dose of self-respect are important ingredients in healthy relationships. Without it, people have trouble standing up for themselves and maintaining their boundaries. The lack of self-respect often gets reinforced over time, and people find themselves stuck in unhealthy situations, such as abusive or manipulative relationships.

Influences on Self-Respect

Below, Dr. Zackson describes some of the factors that can influence one’s sense of self-respect in childhood and adulthood.

Childhood Influences

Self-respect, like any other lasting quality, largely develops in childhood. Children learn that it's all right for them to love themselves when their parent or caregiver loves and appreciates them for who they are.

Giving one’s full love and attention to a child is the foundation to help them value themselves. The knowledge that they do not have to do anything special to deserve love and respect will make them much less likely to place artificial limits on such feelings for themselves.

Parents who value themselves and are at peace with their sense of self are more likely to share these values with their children. It is not so much what parents do but rather who they already are that will shape a child's sense of worth. The importance of self-respect is fostered at a young age and lasts a lifetime.

Adult Influences

While childhood factors often play a far greater role in influencing one’s sense of self-respect, the influences in adulthood also matter. Factors like relationships, work, and life experiences can contribute to a person’s sense of self-efficacy and self-confidence.

How to Improve Self-Respect

Dr. Zackson shares some strategies that can help you improve your sense of self-respect:

• Identify your values: Start by understanding yourself. Imagine suddenly losing everything you own and being left with nothing but yourself. Ask yourself: “What is important to me? What are my values? Why do I settle for less? What could remind me of my value?”
• Keep the focus on internal qualities: Be mindful that you may get caught up in thinking that your worth as a person is due to external factors like your net worth, position, looks, possessions, or the number of followers you have on social media. Self-respect however, is about internal qualities like your character, morals , values, and actions.
• Work on accepting yourself: Start to pay attention to your thought patterns without getting caught up in them. Concentrate on self-acceptance and let go of your harsh internal critic. Commit to forgiving yourself and accepting your flaws, bad habits, and all the things you don't like about yourself.
• Challenge negative thoughts: Pay attention to how your negative thought patterns affect your actions. Identify your triggers for negative thoughts and rationalize them. For instance, if a negative experience or lack of specific skills causes you to automatically call yourself unworthy, it can be helpful to recognize this thought process and challenge it: “Even if I’m not great at singing, I am still worthy of love and respect.”
• Don’t give in to self-doubt: Focus on loosening the grip of self-doubt. Nobody can make you feel unworthy of respect unless you permit them to do so. Develop a kinship with yourself and understand your strengths and values. Remind yourself that just as we have a moral obligation to respect others, we also have a moral obligation to respect ourselves.

Whenever you notice your inner critic starting to fire up, pause for a moment, challenge your thoughts as they whisper in your ear, and remind yourself that no matter what you do or don't do, you are nothing less than beautiful and worthy of self-respect.

Self-respect is an important part of your identity because it reflects how you view yourself, which in turn impacts every area of your life, including your relationships, work, and social life. Respecting and loving yourself is the first step toward gaining the love and respect of others.

If you have low self-respect, there are steps you can take to work on it and improve it. It may also be helpful to see a mental healthcare provider, who can help you identify your values, correct negative thought patterns, set firm boundaries, and learn to love yourself.

American Psychological Association. Self respect . Dictionary of Psychology .

Clucas C. Understanding self-respect and its relationship to self-esteem . Pers Soc Psychol Bull . 2020;46(6):839-855. doi:10.1177/0146167219879115

Dillon R. Self-respect and self-esteem . International Encyclopedia of Ethics . Doi: 10.1002/9781444367072.wbiee221.pub2

Corrigan PW, Bink AB, Schmidt A, Jones N, Rüsch N. What is the impact of self-stigma? Loss of self-respect and the "why try" effect . J Ment Health . 2016;25(1):10-15. doi:10.3109/09638237.2015.1021902

By Sanjana Gupta Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

Joan Didion on Self-Respect

By maria popova.

From her 1968 essay anthology Slouching Towards Bethlehem ( public library ) comes “On Self Respect” — a magnificent meditation on what it means to live well in one’s soul, touching on previously explored inadequate externalities like prestige , approval , and conventions of success .

Didion writes:

The dismal fact is that self-respect has nothing to do with the approval of others — who are, after all, deceived easily enough; has nothing to do with reputation, which, as Rhett Butler told Scarlett O’Hara, is something people with courage can do without. To do without self-respect, on the other hand, is to be an unwilling audience of one to an interminable documentary that deals with one’s failings, both real and imagined, with fresh footage spliced in for every screening. There’s the glass you broke in anger, there’s the hurt on X’s face; watch now, this next scene, the night Y came back from Houston, see how you muff this one. To live without self-respect is to lie awake some night, beyond the reach of warm milk, the Phenobarbital, and the sleeping hand on the coverlet, counting up the sins of commissions and omission, the trusts betrayed, the promises subtly broken, the gifts irrevocably wasted through sloth or cowardice, or carelessness. However long we postpone it, we eventually lie down alone in that notoriously uncomfortable bed, the one we make ourselves. Whether or not we sleep in it depends, of course, on whether or not we respect ourselves. […] Character — the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life — is the source from which self-respect springs. Self-respect is something that our grandparents, whether or not they had it, knew all about. They had instilled in them, young, a certain discipline, the sense that one lives by doing things one does not particularly want to do, by putting fears and doubts to one side, by weighing immediate comforts against the possibility of larger, even intangible, comforts. […] Self-respect is a discipline, a habit of mind that can never be faked but can be developed, trained, coaxed forth. It was once suggested to me that, as an antidote to crying, I put my head in a paper bag. As it happens, there is a sound physiological reason, something to do with oxygen, for doing exactly that, but the psychological effect alone is incalculable: it is difficult in the extreme to continue fancying oneself Cathy in Wuthering Heights with one’s head in a Food Fair bag. There is a similar case for all the small disciplines, unimportant in themselves; imagine maintaining any kind of swoon, commiserative or carnal, in a cold shower. […] To have that sense of one’s intrinsic worth which constitutes self-respect is potentially to have everything: the ability to discriminate, to love and to remain indifferent. To lack it is to be locked within oneself, paradoxically incapable of either love or indifference. If we do not respect ourselves, we are on the one hand forced to despise those who have so few resources as to consort with us, so little perception as to remain blind to our fatal weaknesses. On the other, we are peculiarly in thrall to everyone we see, curiously determined to live out — since our self-image is untenable — their false notion of us. We flatter ourselves by thinking this compulsion to please others an attractive trait: a gist for imaginative empathy, evidence of our willingness to give. Of course I will play Francesca to your Paolo, Helen Keller to anyone’s Annie Sullivan; no expectation is too misplaced, no role too ludicrous. At the mercy of those we cannot but hold in contempt, we play roles doomed to failure before they are begun, each defeat generating fresh despair at the urgency of divining and meting the next demand made upon us. It is the phenomenon sometimes called ‘alienation from self.’ In its advanced stages, we no longer answer the telephone, because someone might want something; that we could say no without drowning in self-reproach is an idea alien to this game. Every encounter demands too much, tears the nerves, drains the will, and the specter of something as small as an unanswered letter arouses such disproportionate guilt that answering it becomes out of the question. To assign unanswered letters their proper weight, to free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves — there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect. Without it, one eventually discovers the final turn of the screw: one runs away to find oneself, and finds no one at home.

Slouching Towards Bethlehem is a superb read in its entirety. Also from it, Didion on keeping a notebook and not mistaking self-righteousness for morality .

— Published May 21, 2012 — https://www.themarginalian.org/2012/05/21/joan-didion-on-self-respect/ —

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Brilliance and Blind Spots: Rereading Joan Didion in This Hard American Winter of 2020

Gabrielle bellot on the seminal essay, "on self-respect".

In 1961, shortly after having been hired by Vogue , Joan Didion—then in her late twenties—composed one of the essays she would become best-known for, a short, yet surprisingly capacious meditation on self-respect. “Most of our platitudes notwithstanding, self-deception remains the most difficult deception,” she mused in the piece, which was simply titled “On Self-Respect,” and would later appear in Slouching Towards Bethlehem, her seminal collection of essays from her Vogue years . It is difficult to truly lie to ourselves, Didion reflected, because what helps in our lies to others will fail with ourselves; if it may seem easy to imagine the magic that might trick someone around us, there are far fewer spells in our grimoires that can truly deceive ourselves.

Didion knew this well, and coming to understand that we are flawed, she suggested, was like becoming an adult, like shedding the “innocence” of her childhood naivete. Respecting oneself, for her, required that we learn that we do not deserve any and everything—and that what we think about ourselves is more important than what others think of us. Even just subconsciously, we often have some sense that the things we tell ourselves to survive are true or false, stars that will lead us out of the night’s deserts or illusions, ignes fatui , of the heart, that we desperately wish were real; to survive with dignity, she suggests, we must face those midnight deserts earnestly, honestly.

“The charms that work on others,” Didion continues on this theme, “count for nothing in that devastatingly well-lit back alley where one keeps assignations with oneself: no winning smiles will do here, no prettily drawn lists of good intentions… The dismal fact,” she says near the end of her paragraph in a simple but powerful coda, “is that self-respect has nothing to do with the approval of others.” Didion then follows this up with a lovely, powerful passage about what self-respect really is:

There is a common superstition that “self-respect” is a kind of charm against snakes, something that keeps those who have it locked in some unblighted Eden, out of strange beds, ambivalent conversations, and trouble in general. It does not at all. It has nothing to do with the face of things, but concerns instead a separate peace, a private reconciliation.

Here, Didion lays to rest the idea that self-respect is a kind of spiritual panacea that takes way all of our problems. Instead, it is something we must find internally, a treaty we make with ourselves to accept who and what and where we are.

At the start of 2020, I find myself thinking so often of Didion’s subtle, simple, but striking essay: how it captures something of the zeitgeist, something of the strangeness and uncertainty of 2020, in ways both good and bad. What does it mean to practice self-respect in a year that already feels tumultuous and terrifying in its uncertainty? A year where we have already been pushed, irrationally, to the brink of an international, even global, war, both with other countries and with the climate? A year in which the specter of war still looms over everything because we cannot predict what horrors our mendacious, mercurial President will create next? A year Yeatsian in its already having fallen apart, even if we try to ignore the widening cracks?

How do I respect myself in a country that shows no respect to the rest of the world?

Rereading Didion’s work at the start of a year that already feels so precarious, I find myself having mixed feelings. The essay is both powerful and flawed. It is for everyone, and it is as deft as it is delightful; at the same time, it is clearly not written for everyone. Being able to see both its beauty and its blind spots—just as Didion says we must try to do for ourselves if we are to truly respect ourselves—is what makes “On Self-Respect” essential today. Its flaws are part of the reason the piece remains so relevant, a glistering diamond flecked with blood.

Didion’s essay—quietly seductive, enscorcelling, even—is a masterful testament to what was then a relatively novel form of nonfiction: New Journalism, or, more broadly, creative nonfiction. New Journalism sought to reshape how readers imagined the news. It used the techniques of fiction—narrative, narrative structures, point of view, deep characterization—to present nonfiction stories, so that reading a piece of New Journalism might, at times, feel indistinguishable from reading a short story or novel. These pieces weren’t afraid to be memorable for their style.

Remarkably, Didion crafted the piece to fill magazine space after another writer failed to deliver something on the same subject. She had little time; the issue was about to go to press. She “improvised” it in “two sittings,” as Tracy Daugherty noted. If that were not enough, Didion, as Vogue later revealed, composed “On Self-Respect” “not to a word count or a line count, but to an exact character count.”

Some of Didion’s entrancing sentences are due to the influence of Allene Talmey, her editor at Vogue , whose perfectionism helped shape some of Didion’s style. Talmey was tenacious, insisting that her writers find “shocking” verbs and precise, concise language. “At first she wrote captions,” Talmey said of working with Didion. “I would have her write 300 to 400 words and then cut it back to 50. We wrote long and published short and by doing that Joan learned to write.”

Unlike some visionless editors today—those who, to my chagrin, seem to believe that charmless, indistinguishable, highly Americanized writing is all that can ever work on the Internet—Talmey did not force Didion to write mechanically; instead, she taught the Californian to find unique, even poetic paths in her work by using succinctness as a constraint. Didion’s lyrical imagery is as much a testament to her skill as to Talmey’s strict, yet open editorial ethos.

The beauty of the essay, though, is also due to its insights, which are somehow both accessible and complex all at once. “To have that sense of one’s intrinsic worth,” Didion writes near the end of the essay, “which, for better or for worse, constitutes self-respect, is potentially to have everything: the ability to discriminate, to love and to remain indifferent. To lack it is to be locked within oneself, paradoxically incapable of either love or indifference.” Self-respect allows us to live freely and fully.

Didion’s next point is essential: that we must not let the expectations of others determine our worth, or who we are, how we are shaped, what paths we walk. To do that is to live a walking death. This is wrong, Didion argues, because we must find self-validation if we are to have self-respect:

If we do not respect ourselves, we are on the one hand forced to despise those who have so few resources as to consort with us, so little perception as to remain blind to our fatal weaknesses. On the other, we are peculiarly in thrall to everyone we see, curiously determined to live out—since our self-image is untenable—their false notions of us. We flatter ourselves by thinking this compulsion to please others an attractive trait: a gift for imaginative empathy, evidence of our willingness to give….It is the phenomenon sometimes called  alienation from self.  In its advanced stages, we no longer answer the telephone, because someone might want something; that we could say no without drowning in self-reproach is an idea alien to this game.

As women, we are expected, so often, to give, to live in the contours of others’ expectations. We are expected to smile, to please, to quietly and unquestioningly exist, to not step out of line by raising voices or points.

When we fail to exist as this sexist ideal, we are branded with scarlet terms, like the one our inarticulate President favors: nasty woman . If you are a trans woman, to boot, your womanhood may be questioned as well; if you are interrupting a man in a meeting, you must be a man yourself, the transphobic paradigm goes. We can be “good” women, or not women at all.

To have self-respect in our oh-so-progressive world, then, is to risk being attacked with misogynistic epithets, or to risk not being labeled a woman at all. We’ve come so far, in some ways, yet here I am, writing the same words so many others have before me, because these same words still need to be shouted today.

For all its power, Didion’s essay is also problematic, though subtly. It is written with a casual “we” that implies that all readers can accept its conclusions, and while using a universal “we” is not bad if done with nuance, the issue is that Didion assumes that all readers will essentially see the world the way she does. The essay is less overtly for those readers who cannot be sure that they can always trust their self-perceptions, as Didion never seems directly aware that people’s perceptions can differ drastically.

Didion’s essay began by reflecting on a seemingly trivial event—not getting into Phi Beta Kappa. I think of the pain of deeper events that force us to practice self-respect: of those of us who live paycheck to paycheck, of those of us who have been kicked out of home and must fend for themselves, of those of us who live in a nightmarescape of agonies or uncertainties. Self-respect is possible in all of these cases, but the stakes and difficulty for obtaining it differ, and I wish the essay considered readers with harsher circumstances more clearly.

I think, too, of what Esme Wang, for example, wrote of so disarmingly and devastatingly in The Collected Schizophrenias , of the “bleak abyss” of fear that being unable to trust one’s perceptions can create. Wang writes boldly of something akin to Didion, of having self-respect by being real about what the schizophrenias are and what it means to take a stand and not succumb to that abyss of terror—but Didion seems unable to understand that her advice, while still applicable, is more complicated for some of us.

The most striking example of this tendency appears in a passage that invokes Native Americans in a way that, due to the comparison’s negativity, seems to imply that Native Americans were not the essay’s implicit readers. Didion’s essay casually presents Native Americans as a symbol of hostility in a comparison that feels jarringly tone-deaf. “In a diary kept during the winter of 1846,” Didion writes,

an emigrating twelve-year-old named Narcissa Cornwall noted coolly: “Father was busy reading and did not notice that the house was being filled with strange Indians until Mother spoke about it.” Even lacking any clue as to what Mother said, one can scarcely fail to be impressed by the entire incident: the father reading, the Indians filing in, the mother choosing the words that would not alarm, the child duly recording the event and noting further that those particular Indians were not, “fortunately for us,” hostile. Indians were simply part of the donnée.

In one guise or another, Indians always are. Again, it is a question of recognizing that anything worth having has its price. People who respect themselves are willing to accept the risk that the Indians will be hostile, that the venture will go bankrupt, that the liaison may not turn out to be one in which every day is a holiday because you’re married to me.

This passage is complex, and I was startled the first time I read it. On the one hand, Didion is using “Indians” as a comparison drawn from Cornwall’s notebook to make a broader point about having “character” in the face of risk. Cornwall, moreover, was Didion’s family on her mother’s side, and Cornwall was literally describing what happened. And, to be sure, Didion would write more compassionately about civil rights in America in later essays, as in some of those collected in The White Album.

On the other hand, however, Didion is doing much more. She is casually associating “Indians” with wildness and danger, a tendency that harkens back to old racist, colonialist assumptions in which people like me—anyone non-white—represented danger. Native Americans are deployed here not as human beings, but as a simple symbol of danger that Didion casually assumes her readers will both understand and embrace. And what is most telling is that Didion seems entirely unaware of this; she is not out to expressly denigrate brown and black people, but to denigrate us, instead, by her casual use of demeaning tropes. She could have chosen any image to represent hostility and hardship; that she chose this one, so loaded with old, vile assumptions, is telling. It doesn’t matter that the story comes from Didion’s family history; a writer more aware of how loaded it is to use brown people as a metaphor for violence, for something white people must overcome, would have chosen a different image. The casualness of the choice is precisely why it is dangerous.

These things, collectively, make Didion’s essay seem distant, even somewhat solipsistic; it is about her world as a white writer, which she assumes represents everyone else’s. The passage is certainly not representative of all of her writing on race, but it’s still worth noting. Ironically, this is what makes her piece so apt in 2020: that, for all its gemlike brilliance, it represents a subtle but salient failure, perhaps a subconscious one, to truly see the breadth and diversity of the world.

Despite this, it’s difficult not to want to love the essay. It makes me re-see the value of respecting myself, of learning to validating myself by gaining the strength to exist apart from the praise or attacks of others. As old-fashioned as the term is, it makes a case for that abstract thing, character . “To assign unanswered letters their proper weight, to free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves—there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect,” Didion writes beautifully at the end. “Without it, one eventually discovers the final turn of the screw: one runs away to find oneself, and finds no one at home.”

Through self-respect, we find—eventually, hopefully, even if it is harder for some of us than others—what James’ protagonist cannot at the end of “The Turn of the Screw”: something true and firm that we can trust, because even if the image we see may scare us, we at least know it is real. I want to cling to this in a year that has begun so unsettled and unsettling. Self-respect—however we may find it—is how we begin to survive it, and how we begin to learn to truly respect others, in turn.

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Essay on Self Respect

Students are often asked to write an essay on Self Respect in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Self Respect

Understanding self respect.

Self-respect is the appreciation you have for yourself. It’s about recognizing your worth and not letting others demean you. It involves setting boundaries and standing up for your rights.

Importance of Self Respect

Self-respect is vital. It boosts your confidence and self-esteem. It helps you make decisions that are beneficial to you and prevents you from settling for less than you deserve.

Building Self Respect

Building self-respect requires self-love and self-acceptance. It’s about acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses and being okay with them. It’s about treating yourself with kindness and compassion.

In conclusion, self-respect is a crucial aspect of personal development. It empowers you to live a fulfilling and respectful life.

Also check:

• Paragraph on Self Respect
• Speech on Self Respect

250 Words Essay on Self Respect

Introduction to self-respect.

Self-respect, a fundamental aspect of individual identity, is the recognition of one’s inherent worth and dignity. It is an essential virtue that acts as a bridge between self-awareness and self-expression, shaping our interactions with the world.

The Essence of Self-Respect

Self-respect is more than just self-esteem or self-love. It is an acknowledgement of one’s individuality, a refusal to be undervalued or diminished. It is about setting boundaries and not allowing others to treat us less than we deserve. Self-respect is not contingent on success or external validation, but is a self-sustained virtue.

Self-Respect and Interpersonal Relationships

In interpersonal relationships, self-respect plays a critical role. It dictates the quality of our relationships and the way we allow others to treat us. Individuals with high self-respect are less likely to tolerate disrespect or mistreatment, fostering healthier and more balanced relationships.

Self-Respect and Personal Growth

Self-respect is a catalyst for personal growth. It encourages us to strive for our goals, overcome challenges, and make decisions that align with our values. It fosters resilience, enabling us to bounce back from failures and setbacks.

In essence, self-respect is a cornerstone of a fulfilled and content life. It is not merely a state of mind but a way of living, a compass guiding us towards authenticity and integrity. Cultivating self-respect is a lifelong journey, but one that enriches our existence, empowering us to live with dignity and grace.

500 Words Essay on Self Respect

Introduction.

Self-respect, often overlooked, is a fundamental attribute that forms the bedrock of our personality and character. It is the inherent value we place on ourselves, shaping our interactions with the world and influencing our decisions. Self-respect is not about arrogance or narcissism, but rather a healthy appreciation of one’s worth.

Self-respect is an inner sense of worthiness and dignity. It is the recognition of our intrinsic value as human beings, independent of external validation. It involves acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses, accepting our imperfections, and still valifying our worth. Self-respect is not contingent on success or failure; it is a consistent belief in oneself regardless of circumstances.

Self-respect plays a pivotal role in personal growth. It forms the basis for setting boundaries and asserting oneself. It encourages us to make choices that align with our values and aspirations, rather than succumbing to societal pressures. When we respect ourselves, we are more likely to pursue goals that truly matter to us, fostering self-fulfillment and happiness.

The Interplay of Self-Respect and Relationships

In the context of relationships, self-respect shapes the way we allow others to treat us. It acts as a filter, enabling us to discern between healthy and toxic relationships. When we respect ourselves, we naturally attract respect from others, fostering mutual respect and understanding in our relationships.

The Role of Self-Respect in Mental Health

Self-respect also has profound implications for mental health. It serves as a buffer against negative self-perception and self-deprecation, reducing the risk of mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. By fostering self-compassion and resilience, self-respect can significantly enhance overall mental well-being.

Cultivating Self-Respect

Cultivating self-respect is a lifelong journey. It begins with self-awareness, understanding our values, and acknowledging our worth. It involves setting healthy boundaries, practicing self-care, and pursuing personal growth. It requires us to challenge negative self-talk, replace it with positive affirmations, and celebrate our achievements, no matter how small.

In conclusion, self-respect is a powerful force that shapes our lives in profound ways. It influences our personal growth, our relationships, and our mental health. It is the cornerstone of a healthy self-image and a fulfilling life. As we navigate through the complexities of life, let us strive to cultivate self-respect, for it is not just a virtue, but a necessity.

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Joan Didion, in her own words: 23 of the best quotes

The Californian author became the ultimate literary celebrity for her journalistic style. Here are some of her best quotes on writing, love, ageing and fear, plus a selection of essays

Joan Didion, who has died aged 87 , inspired writers and readers for decades. Her journalism, memoirs, and cultural and political commentary made her a unique chronicler of 20th-century culture.

Here are 23 quotes that encapsulate her writing:

We tell ourselves stories in order to live. – The White Album (1979)

Character – the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life – is the source from which self-respect springs. – Slouching Towards Bethlehem (1968)

I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear. – Why I Write (essay originally published in the New York Times Book Review in 1976)

To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves – there lies the great, singular power of self-respect. – Self-respect: Its Source, Its Power (essay originally published in Vogue in 1961)

You have to pick the places you don’t walk away from. – A Book of Common Prayer (1977)

The fancy that extraterrestrial life is by definition of a higher order than our own is one that soothes all children, and many writers. – The White Album (1979)

[O]ne of the mixed blessings of being twenty and twenty-one and even twenty-three is the conviction that nothing like this, all evidence to the contrary notwithstanding, has ever happened to anyone before. – Slouching Towards Bethlehem (1968)

There’s a point when you go with what you’ve got. Or you don’t go. – a The Paris Review interview (1978)

I did not always think he was right nor did he always think I was right but we were each the person the other trusted. – The Year of Magical Thinking (2005)

Life changes fast. Life changes in the instant. You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends. – The Year of Magical Thinking (2005), which explores grief following the death of her husband

We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget. We forget the loves and the betrayals alike, forget what we whispered and what we screamed, forget who we were. – On keeping a notebook, from Slouching Towards Bethlehem (1968)

I know what the fear is. The fear is not for what is lost. What is lost is already in the wall. What is lost is already behind the locked door. The fear is for what is still to be lost. – Blue Nights (2011)

There is no real way to deal with everything we lose. — Where I Was From (2003)

We are imperfect mortal beings, aware of that mortality even as we push it away, failed by our very complication, so wired that when we mourn our losses we also mourn, for better or for worse, ourselves. As we were. As we are no longer. As we will one day not be at all. – The Year of Magical Thinking (2005)

Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it. – The Year of Magical Thinking (2005)

On literature and writing

In time of trouble, I had been trained since childhood, read, learn, work it up, go to the literature. Information was control. – The Year of Magical Thinking (2005)

I am still committed to the idea that the ability to think for one’s self depends upon one’s mastery of the language. – Slouching Towards Bethlehem (1968)

I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door at 4 a.m. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends. – Slouching Towards Bethlehem (1968)

You get the sense that it’s possible simply to go through life noticing things and writing them down and that this is OK, it’s worth doing. That the seemingly insignificant things that most of us spend our days noticing are really significant, have meaning, and tell us something. – The Paris Review interview (2006).

Los Angeles weather is the weather of catastrophe, of apocalypse, and, just as the reliably long and bitter winters of New England determine the way life is lived there, so the violence and the unpredictability of the Santa Ana affect the entire quality of life in Los Angeles, accentuate its impermanence, its unreliability. The wind shows us how close to the edge we are. – Slouching Towards Bethlehem (1968)

New York was no mere city. It was instead an infinitely romantic notion, the mysterious nexus of all love and money and power, the shining and perishable dream itself. – Slouching Towards Bethlehem (1968)

A place belongs forever to whoever claims it hardest, remembers it most obsessively, wrenches it from itself, shapes it, renders it, loves it so radically that he remakes it in his image. – The White Album (1979)

I’m not telling you to make the world better, because I don’t think that progress is necessarily part of the package. I’m just telling you to live in it. Not just to endure it, not just to suffer it, not just to pass through it, but to live in it. To look at it. To try to get the picture. To live recklessly. To take chances. To make your own work and take pride in it. To seize the moment. And if you ask me why you should bother to do that, I could tell you that the grave’s a fine and private place, but none I think do there embrace. Nor do they sing there, or write, or argue, or see the tidal bore on the Amazon, or touch their children. And that’s what there is to do and get it while you can and good luck at it.” – UC Riverside commencement address (1975).

Which are your favourite Didion quotes or books? In what ways did her work inspire you? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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August 21, 2021

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On Self-Respect

An essay on understanding our character, worth, and limits.

Joan Didion Vogue Jun 1961 Permalink

Respect Essay for Students and Children

500+ words essay on respect.

Respect is a broad term. Experts interpret it in different ways. Generally speaking, it is a positive feeling or action expressed towards something. Furthermore, it could also refer to something held in high esteem or regard. Showing Respect is a sign of ethical behavior . Unfortunately, in the contemporary era, there has been undermining of the value of Respect. Most noteworthy, there are two essential aspects of Respect. These aspects are self-respect and respect for others.

Self-Respect

Self-Respect refers to loving oneself and behaving with honour and dignity. It reflects Respect for oneself. An individual who has Self-Respect would treat himself with honour. Furthermore, lacking Self-Respect is a matter of disgrace. An individual who does not respect himself, should certainly not expect Respect from others. This is because nobody likes to treat such an individual with Respect.

Self-Respect is the foundation of a healthy relationship . In relationships, it is important to respect your partner. Similarly, it is equally important to Respect yourself. A Self-Respecting person accepts himself with his flaws. This changes the way how others perceive the individual. An individual, who honours himself, would prevent others from disrespecting him. This certainly increases the value of the individual in the eyes of their partner.

Lacking Self-Respect brings negative consequences. An individual who lacks Self-Respect is treated like a doormat by others. Furthermore, such an individual may engage in bad habits . Also, there is a serious lack of self-confidence in such a person. Such a person is likely to suffer verbal or mental abuse. The lifestyle of such an individual also becomes sloppy and untidy.

Self-Respect is a reflection of toughness and confidence. Self-Respect makes a person accept more responsibility. Furthermore, the character of such a person would be strong. Also, such a person always stands for his rights, values, and opinions.

Self-Respect improves the morality of the individual. Such an individual has a good ethical nature. Hence, Self-Respect makes you a better person.

Self-Respect eliminates the need to make comparisons. This means that individuals don’t need to make comparisons with others. Some people certainly compare themselves with others on various attributes. Most noteworthy, they do this to seek validation of others. Gaining Self-Respect ends all that.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Respect of Others

Everyone must Respect fellow human beings. This is an essential requirement of living in a society. We certainly owe a basic level of Respect to others. Furthermore, appropriate Respect must be shown to people who impact our lives. This includes our parents, relatives, teachers, friends, fellow workers, authority figures, etc.

One of the best ways of showing respect to others is listening. Listening to another person’s point of view is an excellent way of Respect. Most noteworthy, we must allow a person to express his views even if we disagree with them.

Another important aspect of respecting others is religious/political views. Religious and cultural beliefs of others should be given a lot of consideration. Respecting other people’s Religions is certainly a sign of showing mature Respect.

Everyone must Respect those who are in authority. Almost everyone deals with people in their lives that hold authority. So, a healthy amount of Respect should be given to such people. People of authority can be of various categories. These are boss, police officer, religious leader, teacher, etc.

In conclusion, Respect is a major aspect of human socialization. It is certainly a precious value that must be preserved. Respectful behaviour is vital for human survival.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Respect — Importance Of Respect For Self

Importance of Respect for Self

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• Essay on Psychology

Self Respect Essays

Type of paper: Essay

Topic: Psychology , Education , Environment , Discipline , Morality , Character , Evidence , Respect

Published: 03/16/2021

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Self respect has been defined by the Oxford advanced learners dictionary as “a feeling of pride in yourself that what you do, say, etc. is right and good”. Other sources give almost similar definitions of the term albeit using different wording. Self respect can also be defined as holding yourself in esteem and also believing that you are good and worthy of being treated well, according to the American Heritage Dictionary. From these definitions, we can gather that self respect is basically respect for one’s self, regard for ones character and taking responsibility for ones actions whether good or bad. Self respect is known to be an extremely important quality for an upright personality, confidence and dignity of an individual. People with self respect often exhibit the courage of even accepting their own mistakes, exhibit toughness and display a good character that is acceptable to many. More often than not, a self respecting person accepts responsibilities for his / her life. Self respect is known to be a kind of discipline, a habit that has never failed anyone. People with self respect, regardless of the challenges that they face, always stand the test of time, since self respect is a recipe for integrity, leadership and self esteem. Self respect is in effect ones worth, its one’s ability! At least in one’s own eyes. Self respecting people are mostly confident and are likely to succeed in their lives since they attract likeminded people who are likely to propel them to success. Lack of self respect is a recipe for unruly behavior that results to the hatred to those who respect themselves. This makes one to be blind of their weaknesses. Self respecting people do not need anyone’s approval and ones repute is never at the mercy of others. a self respecting person will do what they think is right, according to their own reason and will not care what the next person is thinking of their actions since they can always defend their actions in confidence. Needless to say, the respect that we have for ourselves guides our actions and by extension, our morals. To garner the respect of others, we need to respect ourselves first. This therefore means that self respecting people will naturally have straight morals and that’s the only way they are able to earn the respect of others. In order to fully respect ourselves, we need to fully understand who we really are and what we stand for. Its always a better idea to do the right thing and displease others rather than being a people follower in doing the wrong thing. In a nutshell, self respect is a necessary virtue that will guarantee a lasting pleasant personality. Some of the best quotes that I have ever come across in regard to this subject are summed up below.”Perhaps the surest test of an individual's integrity is his refusal to do or say anything that would damage his self-respect”, Thomas S Monson. “Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline, When you have both firmly under your belt, that's real power,” Clint Eastwood. “Self respect knows no considerations” Mahatma Gandhi There is an unwavering relationship between self respect and the respect for the environment. As earlier stated, self respect entails doing what is right regardless of the opinions of others. Man has a responsibility to respect and take care of the environment. The current trend however reveals a very different scenario all together. Mankind has mercilessly exploited the environment, cut down trees without panting others, poached and destroyed wildlife among other evils. This is a sure lack of respect for the environment which we as humans are expected to protect, however, the good news is that we have self respecting individuals who have taken it upon themselves to respect and protect the environment. These are individuals who refused to accept the situation as it is, have stood out of their comfort zones and invested their time and resources in protecting and preserving the environment. These are the few individuals who can be said to respect the environment, an aspect that stems from the respect that they have for themselves that drives them to do what is right.

The oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary: Online edition The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company.

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Essays About Respect: Top 5 Examples and 8 Prompts

If you are looking for the next topic for your essay, read our helpful prompts and example essays about respect to get started.

Respect is a fundamental pillar in a harmonious society. At a young age, we are taught that everyone is deserving of respect and should likewise respect others, regardless of diverging beliefs, cultures, and origins. The underlying golden rule is never to do what we don’t want others to do to us.

However, as we grow older, we find it harder to respect people who go against our moral standards and social mores. Nevertheless, acknowledging people and their rights could already be a form of respect. But when people do not care to meet this bare minimum for respect, conflicts and crimes can ensue. 

5 Essay Examples

1. on self-respect by joan didion, 2. respect, trust and partnership: keeping diplomacy on course in troubling times by ted osius, 3. the respect deficit by richard v. reeves, 4. the emotional attachment of national symbols by karina lafayette, 5. filipino hospitality and respect for the aged by kashiwagi shiho, 1. how to show respect to criminals, 2. respect vs. love in relationships, 3. showing respect on social media, 4. respecting indigenous cultures, 5. how to respect data privacy rights, 6. what is respect for parents day, 7. when employees do not feel respected , 8. respect for animals.

“To assign unanswered letters their proper weight, to free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves—there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect.”

Didion explores misplaced self-respect through her experience of not making it to Phi Beta Kappa and the experience of others. What has been primarily associated with flattering others, self-respect, to Didion, is a virtue that can be developed when we emancipate ourselves from the expectations of others. 

“…[W]hen we show respect it has a big impact. Showing respect means figuring out what is really, truly important to our partners and taking that seriously. It costs America almost nothing and gets us almost everything.”

A former US ambassador to Vietnam shares that respect is a powerful tool to build and strengthen trading partners’ relationships. In the end, he suggests strengthening diplomacy with country partners, such as developing language and regional expertise.

“Here is a much deeper kind of inequality, caused not by a lack of resources, but by a lack of respect. You might be much richer or poorer than I am. But if we treat each other with mutual respect, we are, relationally speaking, equal.”

The essay talks about relational equality and how the lack of it could undermine both the sense of respect for others and the self. It touches on how the world’s meritocratic system has furthered the divide between classes and driven respect away from their reach. The urgent goal is to restore the sense of respect amid the bustle of our daily motions in life.

“National symbols deserve respect not because they are static representations of unchanging ideals, but because they offer a focal point for diverse societies to express and navigate what it is that unites and represents them.”

Respect for national symbols is imperative. But when the approach turns to one that is resistant to prospects of modifying national symbols, then we are missing out on opportunities to re-evaluate and re-invent how we can best represent our collective ideals. Instead of treating national symbols as sacred icons impervious to change, the best way to respect them and what they represent is to brave the thorny road of change. 

“When a Filipino child meets an older family member, the youth customarily greets them with a gesture called ‘mano po,’ taking the older relative’s hand and placing it on his or her own forehead to express profound respect for the elder.”

The essay thoroughly navigates how the Philippine society defends its elders, from the gestures of greeting to how the government, private sector, and non-profit organizations band together to support elders living alone. Other countries can learn from the Philippines’ experience in caring for their elders, especially in the quality care their nurses provide.

8 Thought-Provoking Prompts on Essays About Respect

It is easy to respect those who have worked hard and are deemed as typically well-behaved. But what about criminals who are stereotyped as not showing respect to others, or working hard? Are they deserving of our respect? Answer these questions and determine whether criminals are provided decent facilities and programs that inspire them to change. You can also look into how police officers keep track of their value of life to avoid the abuse of power and putting an end to life with unnecessary force. 

Take a deep dive into the differences between respect and love and discuss which is more important in a relationship. But first, explain the two and provide narrative examples to demonstrate their contrasts.

For example, with love, one might be inclined to say, “I’m willing to change myself for you.” But with a respect-filled relationship, boundaries are drawn. Hence, people can live comfortably with their true selves without having to worry about losing a partner.

Social media encourages people to say what they wouldn’t otherwise say in the physical world primarily because of the anonymity that social media grants them. In your essay, describe the effects of disrespect on social media. Social experts observe that disrespect propels cancel culture and decreases our tolerance of people with differing views. Do you agree with this? Add in other observations you have about mutual respect, or the lack of it, on social media.

Indigenous groups call for recognition and respect for their land and rich cultures. In this prompt, cite the challenges in promoting respect for the rights of indigenous peoples.

For example, how does the government reconcile the need to preserve their traditions with the need to alter practices that negatively impact the environment? Write down what else the government can do to support indigenous groups. One example is ensuring their participation in deliberating their lands’ use to enable them to give free, prior, and informed consent.

Data privacy is a fundamental human right, but our data can be easily harvested through every transaction and activity we make using our phones. This essay discusses the data privacy law in your country or state.

Write about the obligations the law has set for companies to sufficiently safeguard the personal data of their clients. Suppose you want to look at international data privacy standards. In that case, you can explore the General Data Protection Regulation , dissect its seven principles and find out how they play in the data privacy cycle from collection to disposal. 

Respect for Parents Day is celebrated in the US every August 1 to recognize the importance of parents’ roles in their children’s lives and the larger society. Dedicate this essay to celebrating your parents. Share with readers the hard work they do to raise you while handling a job or a business to build your future. Briefly narrate the origins of Respect Your Parents Day and provide tips on how families can best spend this day.  

In the workplace, some bosses abuse their power, overstep their boundaries and forget the basics of respect. How does disrespect affect the motivation and productivity of workers? Mull over this question and try to enumerate the negative impacts of disrespect in the workplace. Then, with the support of research studies, find out what motivational methods managers can employ to reinforce employees positively and help them receive the respect they deserve.

Over the years, the call for respect has extended beyond humankind and to the animal kingdom. First, hear the calls of advocacy groups combating the cruel practice of commoditizing animals or their parts for profit. Track how far their efforts have progressed.

You can also look into the International Convention for the Protection of Animals , a proposed treaty to address all animal issues, and research how it has moved forward to fill in the gap of an international agreement to protect animals.

Make sure your essays are clean and understandable with our list of the best essay checkers .

Tip : If writing an essay sounds like a lot of work, simplify it. Write a simple five-paragraph essay instead.

Yna Lim is a communications specialist currently focused on policy advocacy. In her eight years of writing, she has been exposed to a variety of topics, including cryptocurrency, web hosting, agriculture, marketing, intellectual property, data privacy and international trade. A former journalist in one of the top business papers in the Philippines, Yna is currently pursuing her master's degree in economics and business.

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• College essay

How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples

Published on September 21, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on May 31, 2023.

An insightful college admissions essay requires deep self-reflection, authenticity, and a balance between confidence and vulnerability. Your essay shouldn’t just be a resume of your experiences; colleges are looking for a story that demonstrates your most important values and qualities.

To write about your achievements and qualities without sounding arrogant, use specific stories to illustrate them. You can also write about challenges you’ve faced or mistakes you’ve made to show vulnerability and personal growth.

Table of contents

Start with self-reflection, how to write about challenges and mistakes, how to write about your achievements and qualities, how to write about a cliché experience, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

Before you start writing, spend some time reflecting to identify your values and qualities. You should do a comprehensive brainstorming session, but here are a few questions to get you started:

• What are three words your friends or family would use to describe you, and why would they choose them?
• Whom do you admire most and why?
• What are the top five things you are thankful for?
• What has inspired your hobbies or future goals?
• What are you most proud of? Ashamed of?

As you self-reflect, consider how your values and goals reflect your prospective university’s program and culture, and brainstorm stories that demonstrate the fit between the two.

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

Writing about difficult experiences can be an effective way to show authenticity and create an emotional connection to the reader, but choose carefully which details to share, and aim to demonstrate how the experience helped you learn and grow.

Be vulnerable

It’s not necessary to have a tragic story or a huge confession. But you should openly share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences to evoke an emotional response from the reader. Even a cliché or mundane topic can be made interesting with honest reflection. This honesty is a preface to self-reflection and insight in the essay’s conclusion.

Don’t overshare

With difficult topics, you shouldn’t focus too much on negative aspects. Instead, use your challenging circumstances as a brief introduction to how you responded positively.

Share what you have learned

It’s okay to include your failure or mistakes in your essay if you include a lesson learned. After telling a descriptive, honest story, you should explain what you learned and how you applied it to your life.

While it’s good to sell your strengths, you also don’t want to come across as arrogant. Instead of just stating your extracurricular activities, achievements, or personal qualities, aim to discreetly incorporate them into your story.

Brag indirectly

Mention your extracurricular activities or awards in passing, not outright, to avoid sounding like you’re bragging from a resume.

Use stories to prove your qualities

Even if you don’t have any impressive academic achievements or extracurriculars, you can still demonstrate your academic or personal character. But you should use personal examples to provide proof. In other words, show evidence of your character instead of just telling.

Many high school students write about common topics such as sports, volunteer work, or their family. Your essay topic doesn’t have to be groundbreaking, but do try to include unexpected personal details and your authentic voice to make your essay stand out .

To find an original angle, try these techniques:

• Focus on a specific moment, and describe the scene using your five senses.
• Mention objects that have special significance to you.
• Instead of following a common story arc, include a surprising twist or insight.

Your unique voice can shed new perspective on a common human experience while also revealing your personality. When read out loud, the essay should sound like you are talking.

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

Academic writing

• Writing process
• Transition words
• Passive voice
• Paraphrasing

 Communication

• How to end an email
• Ms, mrs, miss
• How to start an email
• I hope this email finds you well
• Hope you are doing well

 Parts of speech

• Personal pronouns
• Conjunctions

First, spend time reflecting on your core values and character . You can start with these questions:

However, you should do a comprehensive brainstorming session to fully understand your values. Also consider how your values and goals match your prospective university’s program and culture. Then, brainstorm stories that illustrate the fit between the two.

When writing about yourself , including difficult experiences or failures can be a great way to show vulnerability and authenticity, but be careful not to overshare, and focus on showing how you matured from the experience.

Through specific stories, you can weave your achievements and qualities into your essay so that it doesn’t seem like you’re bragging from a resume.

Include specific, personal details and use your authentic voice to shed a new perspective on a common human experience.

Cite this Scribbr article

If you want to cite this source, you can copy and paste the citation or click the “Cite this Scribbr article” button to automatically add the citation to our free Citation Generator.

Courault, K. (2023, May 31). How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples. Scribbr. Retrieved April 2, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/college-essay/write-about-yourself/

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12 Self-Respect under Conditions of Oppression

• Published: May 2021
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Serene Khader argues against the widespread view that oppressed people have a self-regarding obligation to resist complying with oppressive norms, in order to preserve their self-respect. Khader notes that the cost of noncompliance is often underestimated. Flouting oppressive norms often poses substantial threats to an agent’s welfare and even her self-respect, and compliance may express self-respect, by affirming a commitment to the importance of her own projects and to gaining the means to pursue them. Khader offers an alternative way of maintaining self-respect in the face of oppression, namely to cultivate knowledge of the oppressive situation faced by oneself and one’s group, and to develop a normative perspective that recognizes and seeks to rectify injustices.

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• Essay Writing /

Essay on Respect: Best Samples Available for Students

• Updated on  
• Nov 7, 2023

Essay on Respect: Mahatma Gandhi once said, ‘I cannot conceive of a greater loss than the loss of one’s self-respect.’ We all deserve respect from others when they interact with us, regardless of how we are as individuals. Polite, considerate and courteous behaviour are all part of respect. Respect is a larger concept which encompasses treating others the way you would like to be treated, listening to different viewpoints with an open mind, and refraining from causing harm or offence to others. It is considered a fundamental aspect of healthy relationships, effective communication, and a harmonious society. Let’s discuss more through some samples in the essay on respect.

This Blog Includes:

Essay on respect in 100 words, essay on respect in 200 words, essay on respect in 300 words.

Also Read: World Sight Day Activities to Plan for Your School

Respect is a two-way concept; you receive respect when you show respect to others. Whether you are in a professional or a personal environment, talking respectfully is always appreciated. Respect is not just talking politely but a profound acknowledgement of the dignity of others. 

Respect involves listening to others with an open mind, appreciating the uniqueness of everyone, and refraining from actions that cause harm or undermine the well-being of others. We can consider respect as a timeless virtue. It is necessary for maintaining healthy relationships, communities, and societies. From the way we talk to the way we behave, respect is highlighted in our every move.

Also Read: Essay on Parents

‘Respect is what we owe; love, is what we give.’ – Philip James Bailey

How can you expect others to respect you when you cannot serve it to others? We never disrespect people whom we care about. Neither do they. As humans when interacting with others, we expect respectful behaviour from others. It is considered the fundamental aspect of binding human interactions and enabling us to live in harmony with others. 

We can acknowledge and appreciate people, which is one of the most important parts of respectful behaviour. At its essence, respect transcends cultural barriers and fosters empathy, understanding, and kindness among individuals.

Respect is shown via thoughtful actions and considerate behaviour. It involves treating others with courtesy, refraining from causing harm and valuing diverse perspectives. When one respects another person, one listens attentively, seeking to understand rather than to judge. This practice nurtures a culture of open communication and mutual understanding, facilitating the resolution of conflicts and the forging of strong, enduring relationships.

Our respectful attitude and behaviour cultivate a sense of belonging and safety in social settings. In school, respect forms the basis for effective learning and growth. The respectful behaviour of teachers and students fosters an atmosphere of trust and collaboration, nurturing an environment where knowledge is shared, and intellectual curiosity is encouraged.

‘Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that’s real power.’ – Clint Eastwood

Respect functions as the cornerstone of considerate and empathetic human interaction, forming the basis for a harmonious and equitable society. What we learn is what we say to others. Our respectful behaviour shows our inherent value and dignity. It also fosters empathy, understanding, and compassion, nurturing relationships that are founded on mutual admiration and consideration.

Showing a passive attitude that reflects in one’s behaviour and treatment of others shows who we really are. It entails treating individuals with dignity and kindness, valuing their perspectives, and honouring their rights and boundaries. When one demonstrates respect, they engage in thoughtful communication, listen attentively, and seek to understand differing viewpoints. Such actions lay the groundwork for trust and cooperation, facilitating the resolution of conflicts and the cultivation of strong, enduring bonds.

There are three types of respect: Respect for Personhood; Respect for Authority; and Respect for Honour.

• Respect for personhood is the recognition and acknowledgement of the inherent dignity, autonomy, and worth of every individual. This concept emphasizes the importance of treating each person as a unique and valuable being, deserving of ethical consideration and moral regard.
• Respect for authority acknowledges the legitimacy and position of individuals or institutions that hold power or influence in a particular context. It involves recognizing the roles and responsibilities of those in positions of authority and adhering to their directives or decisions within the boundaries of ethical and legal standards.
• Respect for honour upholding the principles of integrity, dignity, and moral uprightness in both oneself and others

Respect is not confined to personal relationships and educational institutions; it is a fundamental element that shapes the fabric of society.

Ans: Here are some best tips for respecting people: act responsibly, be empathetic, accept mistakes, listen to others, be relentlessly proactive, pay attention to non-verbal communication, keep your promises, etc.

Ans: To write an essay you need to highlight what respect means to you and how it can serve as an effective tool for coexisting with others. The concept of respect goes beyond talking politely and actively listening. It is considered a fundamental aspect of healthy relationships, effective communication, and a harmonious society. 

Ans: Here are three types of respect: Respect for Personhood, Respect for authority and Respect for honour.

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Shiva Tyagi

With an experience of over a year, I've developed a passion for writing blogs on wide range of topics. I am mostly inspired from topics related to social and environmental fields, where you come up with a positive outcome.

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Essay on Self Respect 3 Models

Last updated Friday , 15-03-2024 on 10:59 am

Essay on self respect is an important topic because self respect is a good quality that we must teach our children from a young age. 3 examples such as a short essay on self-esteem and its importance in shaping the students’ personality, and a presentation on the role of both the family and the school in providing children with self-esteem.

There is no doubt that self-respect makes you a likable person, and you can set an example for others. Self-respect is your means of achieving a prestigious social position.

An essay on self-esteem and self-confidence that is suitable for students in the fourth, fifth, and sixth grades of primary school, and students of the first, second, and third grades of middle school and high school.

Essay on self respect

There is a close relationship between self-esteem and the accomplishment of important work, because self-esteem stems from your belief in your abilities. One of the most important factors that help you to enhance self-esteem are positive thinking about yourself, developing your skills, and being satisfied with your achievements, no matter how small. Because that will encourage you to progress and develop yourself.

But thinking about yourself in a negative way will make you feel frustrated and dissatisfied with yourself and thus develop mental illnesses such as depression, stress and anxiety. In the essay on self respect, we will explain the importance of self respect in forming a strong, positive personality as well.

Discover yourself

It is important to discover yourself, and know what distinguishes you from others. When you know your strengths, you can benefit from that, because everyone has abilities that qualify them to stand out from the crowd.

And you must enhance and develop your capabilities, because we depend on acquiring information from learning and from life experiences, and we also benefit from the experiences of others.

And you should know that distinguished people do not differ much from you in terms of intelligence, but rather they are people who have made more effort in acquiring knowledge, and you can be like them by making some effort and developing your abilities.

It is also important to discover your weaknesses and work to strengthen them. For example, some students do not like mathematics, and feel like a failure as a result. But it is better to think in a positive way and look for a solution to this problem, by learning the basic mathematical principles first, understanding them well, and then gradually moving to more difficult mathematical lessons. You can also use the help of a mathematics teacher to understand mathematics.

This was just an example, and your thinking should be positive in solving problems, because escaping from problems and not confronting them only makes them worse, and it is difficult to solve them in the future.

Methods of enhancing self-esteem

There are many ways to boost your self-confidence and help you improve your abilities. In the essay on self respect, we will mention some of these methods.

Not to compare yourself with others: It is important to realize that everyone has advantages and disadvantages, but the successful person is the one who can make good use of his abilities, and tries to develop his abilities continuously.

Appreciating your good qualities: It is important to be proud of your achievements, encourage and praise yourself, as this makes you feel  psychologically peaceful, and increases your self-confidence.

Not thinking about past failures: You should not atone for past failures because that makes you feel like a failure, and does not help you achieve any success.

Think objectively: You must be wise and not make difficult decisions in a time of frustration, and it is important to get rid of anxiety and stress.

You must entertain yourself: It is important to entertain yourself, because that rejuvenates your activity, and makes you more interested in life. Entertainment is one of the means that relieves you of anxiety and stress.

Exercising: Sport is one of the important ways that helps a person to believe in his abilities, as sport improves a person’s psychological state, and thus he can think in a positive way, and enhance his abilities.

Taking care of your external appearance: There is no doubt that paying attention to personal hygiene and taking care of your external appearance increases your self-confidence, and makes others appreciate and respect you, all of which increases your self-esteem.

Giving and helping others: There is no doubt that providing service to others makes you feel confident in yourself, as well as psychological peace, and all of this gives you respect for yourself.

At the end of the essay on self respect, I gave you important tips to boost your self-esteem, such as not comparing yourself to others, not thinking about past failures, and thinking positively about the future.

It is important to encourage yourself, by remembering your achievements and being proud of them, because this will encourage you to complete other work successfully.

One of the important things is to discover your weaknesses, in order to work to strengthen them, and one of the most important means that helps you to respect yourself is to help others. This is because when you deal with people who are less than you in knowledge or economic status, it will increase your self-confidence and self-esteem.

One of the factors that increase your self-respect is the respect of others for you, and this requires you to be a polite person and have a good appearance.

I hope you have benefited from my essay on self respect.

To read more, click on the following link:

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