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Essays on Child Behavior

Child behavior is a multifaceted subject that draws interest from educators, psychologists, and parents alike. Essays on child behavior offer deep insights into the various factors that influence a child's development, from family dynamics to educational settings. These essays serve as a crucial tool for understanding the complexities of child psychology, providing a foundation for effective teaching strategies, parenting approaches, and therapeutic interventions. By exploring a range of topics within child behavior, students and professionals can gain a broader perspective on how children interact with their environment, respond to different parenting styles, and develop social and cognitive skills.

Types of Child Behavior Essays

• Analytical Essays on Child Development Theories: These essays delve into the theories proposed by psychologists such as Piaget, Vygotsky, and Erikson. Students analyze how these theories apply to real-life scenarios, comparing and contrasting them to understand child development stages better.
• Argumentative Essays on Parenting Styles and Their Effects on Child Behavior: In these essays, writers argue for or against certain parenting styles , using empirical evidence to support their stance. Topics might include the impact of authoritative versus permissive parenting on a child's self-esteem and independence.
• Descriptive Essays on Observational Studies of Child Interactions: Such essays provide detailed observations of children in various settings, such as playgrounds, classrooms, and homes. They offer insights into peer interaction, conflict resolution, and the development of social skills.
• Persuasive Essays on the Need for Child Psychology Education in Schools: Writers advocate for the integration of child psychology courses in the curriculum, emphasizing how understanding child behavior is essential for creating supportive learning environments.

Benefits of Using Essay Samples for Writing

Utilizing essay samples as references can significantly enhance a student's writing process in several ways:

• Gaining Insights: Samples provide a window into how theories and concepts can be applied in writing, offering diverse perspectives on child behavior.
• Enhancing Skills: Analyzing well-written essays helps in developing critical thinking and improving one's argumentation and analytical skills.
• Learning Structure: Essay samples act as practical guides for structuring arguments coherently, ensuring the logical flow of ideas.
• Drawing Inspiration: Exploring a variety of topics and approaches can spark new ideas and encourage creativity in one's writing.

How to Use Child Behavior Essay Samples Effectively

To make the most out of essay samples, students should focus on:

• Identifying Key Themes: Look for recurring themes and arguments that could enrich your essay.
• Analyzing Structure: Observe how the essays are organized, how arguments are built, and how evidence is integrated.
• Incorporating Evidence: Use the samples to understand how to effectively support your arguments with empirical data, examples, and scholarly research.
• Originality: Remember to use these samples for inspiration and guidance, not for copying. Maintaining academic integrity is paramount.

Tips for Writing Outstanding Child Behavior Essays

Crafting a compelling child behavior essay involves several key strategies:

• Compelling Topics: Choose topics that are relevant and offer scope for exploration, such as the impact of technology on child behavior.
• Real-life Examples: Incorporate case studies and personal observations to make your arguments more relatable and grounded in reality.
• Balanced Approach: Combine theoretical knowledge with practical examples to create a well-rounded essay.
• Revisions: Always revise your work, focusing on clarity, coherence, and adherence to academic standards.

Conclusion: The Role of Child Behavior Essays in Education

Child behavior essays play a pivotal role in the field of education, offering insights that help shape effective teaching methods, parenting practices, and therapeutic approaches. By analyzing and writing about child behavior, students not only enhance their understanding of psychological theories and developmental stages but also contribute to the broader conversation on nurturing well-adjusted, resilient children. Encouraging the use of essay samples can serve as a valuable stepping stone for students embarking on their journey of academic writing, paving the way for original, insightful essays that reflect a deep engagement with the subject matter of child behavior.

Start your exploration of child behavior essays today!

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Understanding and Managing Children’s Behaviors

Introduction.

Adults often find children's behaviors interesting and engaging. There are also behaviors that adults sometimes find challenging. For example, infants fuss or cry despite the adults' efforts to comfort them or have different feeding or sleeping schedules. Toddlers sometimes hit, bite, fall to the floor, cry, kick, whine, or say "no." Some preschoolers argue or fight over toys, struggle to follow directions, or become overly aggressive as they play. Toddlers and preschoolers may also have moments of energetic play, move quickly from activity to activity, or withdraw and not want to participate in activities. Often, these behaviors are developmentally appropriate, typical, and normal—and they change with support and social, emotional, and cognitive development.

Some children need more help managing strong emotions or disruptive behaviors. If they don't receive help early, children's behaviors can negatively impact their social, emotional, and cognitive development. Programs can support children who need such help by developing and using an Individual Support Plan (ISP). For further information, see the tip sheet on developing individual support plans .

All behavior is a form of communication. Every behavior can be described by its form and function (HHS/ACF/OHS/NCECDTL 2019). Form is the behavior used to communicate. Young children let adults know their wants and needs through their behavior long before they have words. They give us “cues” to help us understand what they are trying to communicate. Function is the reason for or purpose of the behavior, from the child’s perspective.

Programs can support education staff and families by using the Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL) Pyramid Model as a framework for understanding children's behavior. Many strategies can support healthy social and emotional development and prevent or reduce behaviors that could negatively affect children's development and learning. Education managers, child development specialists, home-based supervisors, mental health consultants, and coaches can help education staff use these and other strategies in their work with children and families.

• Learn how parents and families expect their children to behave and express themselves. Talk with families about how expectations may be different in different settings (e.g., home, group care, group socializations) and how to support children's behaviors in these settings.
• Talk and wonder with parents, and other adults who know the child, about what the purpose (function) of the child's behavior might be.
• Observe children's behavior (form) and pay attention to their cues. Cues help adults understand what children are trying to communicate with their behavior (function). When adults understand children's behavior, they can respond in ways that meet children's needs.
• Use resources such as the Planned Language Approach (PLA) Gathering and Using Language Information That Families Share to learn about children's language backgrounds. This can inform appropriate adult-child interaction and communication strategies.
• Children who are DLLs may initially rely on behavior to express themselves, especially in settings and situations where staff do not speak the child's home language. Refer to PLA resources under Strategies that Support DLLs .
• If staff speak the child's home language, they can help the child use that language to communicate while scaffolding their understanding and use of English. See PLA's Big 5 for All: Oral Language and Vocabulary .
• Use daily routines to interact and develop positive relationships with each child.
• Use predictable routines during the day to help children feel safe and secure.
• Design learning environments that are responsive to children's individual developmental needs and the needs of the whole group.
• Adjust interactions to match children's temperaments or needs.
• Help children learn to self-regulate or calm themselves.
• Help children feel a sense of control by allowing them to make choices throughout the day.
• Help children express themselves and solve problems appropriately.
• Help children identify their own emotions and the emotions of others. Talk about the link between feelings and facial expressions and gestures.
• Is not typical for a child's age and stage of development
• Continues to be intense or ongoing
• Interferes with the child's ability to explore and learn

Support Developmental Behaviors When They Become Challenging

• Provide more than one of the most popular toys to reduce fighting over the same toy
• Protect children's favorite items; not all items need to be shared (e.g., loveys and other objects children bring from home)
• Help preschool children learn to take turns (e.g., model turn-taking, prompt children to problem-solve turn-taking challenges, and offer turn-taking solutions such as flipping a coin, using a timer, "rock, paper, scissors," and waiting patiently)
• Provide separate areas for active and quiet play. This keeps active play from interfering with other children's need for quiet time.
• Teach children words they can use to ask for help in their home languages and English. Consider teaching gestures (such as sign language) to help children express themselves, especially when they can't verbalize the words they need. For example, show a child how to sign "play" so she can communicate, "I want to play with you." When children don't have the words to make their needs known, they may communicate their frustration by biting, pushing, hitting, falling on the floor, crying, kicking, and screaming.

Mental Health Consultation

As required in the Head Start Program Performance Standards, programs must use mental health consultants. Mental health consultants work with staff and families to support children's mental health (i.e., social and emotional development and well-being). They provide a variety of services to support individual children and families (e.g., child- and family-centered consultation) as well as the overall program (e.g., programmatic consultation).

Considerations for Planning and Programming

Program staff can use the questions below to identify and respond to children's behaviors.

• How do staff individualize supports to meet each child's social and emotional needs?
• Who do education staff go to for support when there are concerns about a child's behavior or social and emotional development?
• How does the program respond when a child's behaviors appear to make it difficult for the child to have positive relationships with others, regulate emotions, or explore and learn?
• How does the program respond when staff or family members bring up concerns about a child's social and emotional development?
• How does the program support staff in having conversations with families early in the process when they are concerned about a child's behavior or social and emotional development?
• What resources does the program have to help respond to concerns about children's behaviors?
• How does the program provide timely and effective supports for staff and families when they are concerned about a child?
• How does the program learn more about a child's previous behaviors or physical or mental health background?

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Office of Head Start, National Center on Early Childhood Development, Teaching, and Learning (NCECDTL). Behavior Has Meaning (15-Minute In-service Suite) . Washington, DC, 2019.

Head Start Program Performance Standards

• (b)(1)(I)–(iv) Effective teaching practices
• (b)(1)(2) Dual language learners
• (c)(1)–(2) Learning environment
• (d) Materials and space for learning
• (c)(1)–(5) Home visit experiences
• (e)(1)–(3) Group socializations
• (f) Screening and assessment
• (a) Wellness promotion
• (b) Mental health consultants
• (b)(1)(iv) Opportunities to discuss with staff and identify issues related to child mental health and social and emotional well-being

Infant and Toddler

• Infant Toddler Temperament Tool (IT 3 )
• Rocking and Rolling—It Takes Two: The Role of Co-Regulation in Building Self-Regulation Skills
• Coping with Crying in Babies and Toddlers
• Problem Solving in the Moment
• Stating Behavioral Expectations
• Dual Language Learners with Challenging Behaviors
• Help Me Calm Down! Teaching Children How to Cope with Their Big Emotions
• 15-Minute In-Service Suite: Behavior Has Meaning
• Emotional and Behavioral Self-Regulation
• Cognitive Self-Regulation
• Social and Emotional Development
• Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Consultation and Your Program
• The National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations (NCPMI)

« Go to Head Start Tip Sheets for Grantee Planning

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Why Parenting Styles Matter When Raising Children

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk,  "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time.

Verywell / Laura Porter

The Four Parenting Styles

• Impact of Parenting Style

Advantages of Authoritative Parenting

Can you change your parenting style.

• Limitations and Criticism

Parenting styles are constructs used to describe the different strategies parents tend to utilize when raising children. These styles encompass parents' behaviors and attitudes and the emotional environment in which they raise their children.

Developmental psychologists have long been interested in how parents affect child development. However, finding actual cause-and-effect links between specific actions of parents and later behavior of children is very difficult.

Some children raised in dramatically different environments can later grow up to have remarkably similar personalities . Conversely, children who share a home and are raised in the same environment can grow up to have very different personalities.

Despite these challenges, researchers have posited that there are links between parenting styles and the effects these styles have on children. And some suggest these effects carry over into adult behavior.

This parenting style quiz was medically reviewed by Ivy Kwong, LMFT .

In the 1960s, psychologist Diana Baumrind conducted a study on more than 100 preschool-age children. Using naturalistic observation , parental interviews, and other research methods , she identified some important dimensions of parenting.

These dimensions include disciplinary strategies, warmth and nurturing, communication styles, and expectations of maturity and control. Based on these dimensions, Baumrind suggested that the majority of parents display one of three different parenting styles. Later research by Maccoby and Martin suggested adding a fourth parenting style. Each of these has different effects on children's behavior.

The four parenting styles that have been identify by Baumrind and other researchers are:

• The authoritarian parenting style
• The authoritative parenting style
• The permissive parenting style
• The uninvolved parenting style

Authoritarian Parenting

In this style of parenting, children are expected to follow the strict rules established by the parents. Failure to follow such rules usually results in punishment.

Authoritarian parents don't explain the reasoning behind these rules. If asked to explain, the parent might simply reply, "Because I said so."

Other common characteristics:

• While these parents have high demands, they are not very responsive to their children.
• They expect their children to behave exceptionally and not make errors, yet they provide little direction about what they should do or avoid in the future.
• Mistakes are punished, often quite harshly, yet their children are often left wondering exactly what they did wrong.

Baumrind says these parents "are obedience- and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation." They are often described as domineering and dictatorial. Their approach is "spare the rod, spoil the child." They expect children to obey without question.

Effects of Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian parenting styles generally lead to obedient and proficient children, but they rank lower in happiness, social competence, and  self-esteem . They may also be more likely to lie to avoid punishment.

Authoritative Parenting

Like authoritarian parents, those with an authoritative parenting style establish rules and guidelines that their children are expected to follow. However, this parenting style is much more democratic.

Common characteristics of the authoritative parenting style:

• Authoritative parents are responsive to their children and willing to listen to questions.
• These parents expect a lot of their children, but they provide warmth, feedback, and adequate support.
• When children fail to meet expectations, these parents are more nurturing and forgiving than punishing.

According to Baumrind, authoritarive parents are good at setting standards and monitoring their children's behavior. Their disciplinary methods are assertive and supportive rather than intrusive, restrictive, or punitive.

For authoritative parents, the goal is to raise children who are socially responsible, cooperative, and self-regulated. The combination of expectation and support helps children of authoritative parents develop skills such as independence, self-control, and self-regulation. 

Effects of Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative parenting styles tend to result in happy, capable, and successful children.

Permissive Parenting

Permissive parents , sometimes referred to as indulgent parents, make very few demands of their children. These parents rarely discipline their children because they have relatively low expectations of maturity and self-control.​

• Other common characteristics of permissive parenting:
• Permissive parents prioritize being their child's friend rather than being a parent.
• They are warm and attentive but tend to set few rules, rarely enforce rules, and have few expectations.
• They allow their children to make their own decisions. 

According to Baumrind, permissive parents are responsive to their children but not demanding. Because they do not expect mature behavior from their children, kids may struggle to set limits for themselves. On the positive side, this can help kids become more self-sufficient and independent. On the downside, it can contribute to poor self-regulation.

Permissive parents are generally nurturing and communicative with their children, often taking on the status of a friend more than a parent.

Effects of Permissive Parenting

Permissive parenting often results in children who rank low in happiness and self-regulation. These children are more likely to experience problems with authority and tend to perform poorly in school.

Uninvolved Parenting

In addition to the three major styles introduced by Baumrind, psychologists Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin proposed a fourth style: uninvolved or neglectful parenting.

An uninvolved parenting style is characterized by few demands, low responsiveness, and very little communication.

Other characteristics of the uninvolved parenting style:

• While these parents fulfill the child's basic needs, they are generally detached from their child's life.
• They might ensure that their kids are fed and have shelter but offer little to nothing in the way of guidance, structure, rules, or even support.
• These parents may seem indifferent, unresponsive, and dismissive.
• In some cases, these parents may reject or neglect the needs of their children. They may also be physically or emotionally abusive.

A 2019 study found that children raised by neglectful parents tend to struggle in school, experience more depression, have worse social relationships, have difficulty controlling their emotions, and experience more anxiety.

Effects of Uninvolved Parenting

Uninvolved parenting styles rank lowest across all life domains. These children tend to lack self-control, have low self-esteem, and are less competent than their peers.

The Impact of Parenting Styles

Research suggests that parenting styles can have a range of effects on children. Some of the areas of a child's life that may be affected in the present and in the future include:

• Academics : Parenting styles can play a part in academic achievement and motivation.
• Mental health : Parenting styles can also influence children's mental well-being. Kids raised by authoritarian, permissive, or uninvolved parents tend to experience more anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems.
• Self-esteem : Kids raised by parents with an authoritative style tend to have strong self-esteem than kids raised by parents with other styles,
• Social relationships : Parenting styles can impact how kids relate to other people. For example, kids raised by permissive parents are more likely to be bullied, while kids raised by authoritarian parents are more likely to bully others.
• Adult relationships : Researchers have also found that kids raised by strict, authoritarian parents may be more likely to experience emotional abuse in adult romantic relationships.

Because authoritative parents are more likely to be viewed as reasonable, fair, and just, their children are more likely to comply with their parents' requests. Also, because these parents provide rules as well as explanations for these rules, children are much more likely to internalize these lessons.

Rather than simply following the rules because they fear punishment (as they might with authoritarian parents), the children of authoritative parents are able to see why the rules exist, understand that they are fair and acceptable, and strive to follow these rules to meet their own internalized sense of what is right and wrong.

Mixing Parenting Styles

The parenting styles of individual parents also combine to create a unique blend in each family. For example, the mother may display an authoritative style, while the father favors a more permissive approach.

This can sometimes lead to mixed signals. To create a cohesive approach to parenting, parents must learn to cooperate and combine their unique parenting styles.

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If you notice that you tend to be more authoritarian, permissive, or uninvolved, there are steps you can take to adopt a more authoritative parenting style. Strategies that may help include:

• Listen : Spending time listening to what your child has to say. Let them share their opinions, ideas, and worries with you. 
• Establish rules : Create a clear set of rules for your household and communicate your expectations to your child. In addition to telling your child what the rules are, be sure to explain why these rules exist.
• Consider your child's input : Authoritative parents set the rules but are also willing to listen to their child's feelings and consider them when making decisions.
• Be consistent : Enforce rules consistently, but be sure to provide consequences that are fair, proportionate, and educational. 

Developing a more authoritative parenting style takes time. With practice and consistent effort, however, you will find that your approach to parenting gradually shifts to a more supportive, involved approach that can lead to better developmental outcomes.

Limitations of Parenting Style Research

Links between parenting styles and behavior are based on correlational research , which is helpful for finding relationships between variables . However, such research cannot establish definitive cause-and-effect relationships.

While there is evidence that a particular parenting style is linked to a specific pattern of behavior, other variables, such as a child's temperament, can also play a significant role.

Children May Affect Their Parents' Styles

There is also evidence that a child's behavior can impact parenting styles. One study found that the parents of children who exhibited difficult behavior began to exhibit less parental control over time. Such results suggest that kids might misbehave not because their parents were too permissive but because the parents of difficult or aggressive children gave up on trying to control their kids.

Outcomes Vary

Some researchers have also noted that the correlations between parenting styles and behaviors are sometimes weak. In many cases, the expected child outcomes do not materialize. For example, parents with authoritative styles may have children who are defiant or who engage in delinquent behavior. Parents with permissive styles may have self-confident and academically successful children.

Cultural Factors Play a Role

Cultural factors also play a significant role in parenting styles and child outcomes. There isn't a universal style of parenting that is always best. For example, while authoritative parenting is linked to better results in European and American cultures, research has also found that this style is not linked to better school performance Black and Asian youth.

Parenting styles are associated with different child outcomes, and the authoritative style is generally linked to positive behaviors such as strong self-esteem and self-competence. However, other important factors, including culture, children's temperament, children's perceptions of parental treatment, and social influences, also play an important role in children's behavior.

A Word From Verywell

Understanding more about your own parenting style can help you explore different approaches to parenting your children. If you notice that you tend to have a more strict, indulgent, or dismissive approach, there are steps that you can take to become more involved and authoritative in how you relate to your children.

Baumrind D. Child care practices anteceding three patterns of preschool behavior . Genet Psychol Monogr. 1967;75(1):43-88.

Durrant J, Ensom R.  Physical punishment of children: lessons from 20 years of research .  CMAJ . 2012;184(12):1373-7. doi:10.1503/cmaj.101314

Power TG. Parenting dimensions and styles: a brief history and recommendations for future research .  Child Obes . 2013;9 Suppl(Suppl 1):S14–S21. doi:10.1089/chi.2013.0034

Kuppens S, Ceulemans E. Parenting styles: A closer look at a well-known concept .  J Child Fam Stud . 2019;28(1):168-181. doi:10.1007/s10826-018-1242-x

Alizadeh Maralani F, Mirnasab M, Hashemi T. The predictive role of maternal parenting and stress on pupils' bullying involvement .  J Interpers Violence . 2019;34(17):3691-3710. doi:10.1177/0886260516672053

Beyarslan SD, Uzer T. Psychological control and indulgent parenting predict emotional-abuse victimization in romantic relationships . Curr Psychol . 2022;41(8):5532-5545. doi:10.1007/s12144-020-01072-w

Bi X, Yang Y, Li H, Wang M, Zhang W, Deater-deckard K. Parenting styles and parent-adolescent relationships: the mediating roles of behavioral autonomy and parental authority . Front Psychol . 2018;9:2187. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2018.02187

Huh D, Tristan J, Wade E, Stice E. Does problem behavior elicit poor parenting?: A prospective study of adolescent girls .  J Adolesc Res . 2006;21(2):185-204. doi:10.1177/0743558405285462

Bernstein DA.  Essentials of Psychology . Cengage Learning; 2013.

Benson, JB, Marshall, MH. Social and Emotional Development in Infancy and Early Childhood . Academic Press, 2009.

Macklem, GL. Practitioner's Guide to Emotion Regulation in School-Aged Children . Springer, 2008.

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

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Teens and risky behaviour, how to support your teen while helping them to stay safe..

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Teenagers’ interest in new experiences is natural and a key part of what helps them grow. By pushing boundaries, teens develop independence and become increasingly self-reliant. But sometimes teenagers can take risks that put their safety and those around them in danger. 

It can be a worrisome time for parents, but it’s important to remember that teens are built to seek independence and freedom. It's a sign of their healthy development.  

We spoke with adolescent psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour about how parents can best navigate this time, providing teens with opportunities to grow and engage in new experiences, while helping them to stay safe.

“While the longing for excitement rises quickly in adolescents, their capacity for suppressing impulses develops more slowly. The spike we see in teenage risk-taking can be partially accounted for by the fact that, neurologically speaking, teenagers can be all gas and no brakes.”  Dr. Lisa Damour 

What's covered

Why are teens drawn to risky behaviours?   How do teens think about risks?   How can parents help keep teens safe?   When should parents worry about risk-taking behaviour?   What can I do if I’m worried my teen is endangering themself?    When should parents seek professional help?   

Why are teens drawn to risky behaviours?

Dr. Damour: Teens are driven to seek out new and exciting experiences. Some of this is neurological – their brains are highly sensitized to the excitement that comes with experiences that feel rewarding and that can cause them to seek out thrills more than children and adults do. 

Teens’ drive for greater independence can mean that they will push against boundaries that have been created by adults. While this may be frustrating for the adult, it's often a sign of healthy development in the teenager. 

We also see higher levels of risk taking or risky behaviours among some teenagers who are struggling emotionally. This may be because they are trying to cope with feelings of distress. And teenagers who are under severe stress or feeling isolated are more likely to engage in risky behaviour.

As in all elements of parenting, teenagers pay very close attention to what the adults around them model. And we know that parents and caregivers who abuse alcohol or do not demonstrate healthy coping strategies are more likely to have teenagers who engage in risky behaviour and struggle to care for themselves, as well.

How do teens think about risks?  

Dr. Damour: How teens reason about risk can be shaped by the contexts in which they find themselves. When teens are with adults or in situations that are not emotionally intense, they tend to reason very carefully about risk-taking behaviour. But when they are with their friends in socially or in emotionally charged situations, then they are less likely to use sound reasoning and more likely to make impulsive choices.  

The type of risks that teens take are very much dictated by the norms where they live, how closely they are supervised and the kinds of risky activities that they can readily access. 

Boys are generally more likely than girls to engage in risk-taking behaviour, but the kinds of risks that teens take depend a lot more on contextual factors that surround teens, than on individual factors, such as gender or age. 

How can parents help keep teens safe? 

Dr. Damour: The first thing parents and caregivers can do to help keen teens safe is to provide reasonable levels of supervision as we know that it can reduce the likelihood of dangerous risk-taking in teenagers.  

The second thing parents should do is offer themselves as a partner in their teenager’s safety. Remember, prioritizing safety is something we should do with our teenagers – we want to talk with them about making safe choices when we’re not around and confirm that they feel comfortable seeking our help when needed.  

Parents should set high expectations for adolescent behaviour and they should centre those expectations around safety. It tends to be most effective to talk with teenagers about keeping themselves safe as opposed to following rules, morals or laws that can often strike teenagers as arbitrary.  

It's also important that adults make it clear that sometimes teenagers can find themselves in dangerous situations and may need help from adults to be safe. Though it may seem contradictory, parents can say:

“We're going to ask that you make good choices and take good care of yourself. But if you find yourself in a situation where you or your friends are unsafe, we want you to reach out to us for help. We promise we will never make you sorry that you sought our assistance.”  

We know that teenagers don't always use their best judgment when they are with their friends. Accordingly, it can be helpful to plan in advance with them how they will handle themselves if risky opportunities arise. For example, a parent might say: “We're glad you're in agreement that it's not safe to drink alcohol when you're out with your friends. Tell us what your plan is if everyone else is drinking. What will you say or do that will help you to stick with the plan we're making now?”

Advance planning doesn't guarantee that a teenager will make the safe decision when they are with their friends, but teenagers are always better off if they have thought the situation through and are not trying to come up with a solution in the heat of the moment. 

Don't hesitate to encourage your teenager to blame their good behaviour on you. No teenager wants to feel embarrassed in front of their friends and sometimes the way they can avoid that is by indicating that they would love to engage in the risky behaviour, but they will run into trouble with their parents if they do.

When should parents worry about risk-taking behaviour? 

Dr. Damour: Risk taking is most concerning when teenagers engage in high-risk behaviours that can have the potential for lasting consequences, such as experimenting with drugs, alcohol, smoking, unprotected sex or reckless physical behaviour. 

It's time to worry if your teenager is engaging in risks that could have lasting consequences, such as harm to themselves or others. It's also time to worry about risky behaviour if your teenager does not seem to be learning from their mistakes. For example, here in the United States, some teenagers will get very drunk at a party and, through sheer luck, come through the situation unharmed. It's time to be concerned when that same teenager continues to use alcohol in a way that is out of control. 

What can I do if I’m worried my teen is endangering themself?   

Dr. Damour: Parents and caregivers who are worried about their teenagers’ risky behaviour should express their concerns directly to the young person. Consider saying: “You need to be safe. If you are unable to keep yourself safe, it becomes my job to keep you safe, which may mean that you enjoy less freedom.”  

The adult can then have a conversation with the young person about their plans for keeping themselves safe, what has stopped them from keeping themselves safe in the past and make an assessment about whether that child should be kept closer to home for a little while. 

Any consequences for engaging in risky behaviour should be framed in the context of promoting safety. The goal, ultimately, is that the young person can operate independently and be counted on to look after their best interests.  

When talking with teenagers about risk taking, we want to resist the impulse to threaten them with punishments if they get caught. While our intentions are good, we run the risk of teenagers focusing on what they can get away with, instead of on staying safe. As an alternative, adults can consider saying: “The issue isn’t whether or not you'll get caught – in all likelihood, you won't – the key issue is whether you'll get hurt. It is your job to take good care of yourself, and if you're not doing that job, I'm going to need to step in to help you do it.”

When should parents seek professional help? 

It's time to seek help from a mental health professional when teenagers routinely engage in worrisome or dangerous behaviours – such as high-risk substance use, persistent recklessness, self-harm, or violence towards others – and the efforts you are making to help them take better care of themselves are not working.  

Sometimes teenagers will be resistant to the suggestion that adults will be minding them more closely or limiting their freedom. At these times, it can be helpful to say to a teenager: “We want you to enjoy independence. And as soon as we know that you can do so while taking good care of yourself, we'll gladly support you in making that happen.”  

Dr. Lisa Damour is a psychologist, author, New York Times contributor and mother of two.  

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READ: Ruby Franke kept handwritten timeline journal over months her children were abused

by Michelle Poe, KUTV

SALT LAKE CITY (KUTV) — As part of the evidence released by the Washing County Attorney in the child abuse case against Ruby Franke and Jodi Hildebrandt on Friday is a handwritten account from Ruby of the months of abuse the children were put through.

The document is 60 pages long and is heavily redacted.

On June 30, 2023 she says that her son who is referred to as R “refuses to do wall sits. He says he is done. The next day on July 1, 2023 Ruby says “R is to stay outside. Sleep outside.”

R’s sister E on July 14, 2023 “refuses to work. Screams. Has hair shaved off.”

We learn in the document that Ruby’s son did run away on July 15th. Ruby says she found him two hours after and that he, his sister, Ruby and Jodi all “drive to Arizona and find property. Land!”

Throughout the document Ruby talks about both children being possessed. One time saying her son’s behavior is “Satanic chaos.” She goes on to say that both children have “deviant behavior” and that “they are both furious their selfish sinful lifestyle is being intervened upon.” Ruby says she told her son “that he needs God. I invited him to fast and pray. R is in and out of possession.”

Related stories from the 8 Passengers case

• WATCH: Utah police make first entry into Jodi Hildebrandt's home
• Footage shows police, EMTs coaxing abused Franke child out of closet
• Video shows moment abused Franke child asks Hildebrandt's neighbor for help
• Evidence released in child abuse case of YouTubers Ruby Franke, Jodi Hildebrandt

Only July 11, 2023, Ruby starts her entry with “Big day for evil.”

Several times in the document Ruby describes outings she takes the kids on. In mid-July she took both children on a four hour car ride to Gunlock Lake. Another time she takes the children to a cemetery to pick up glass and weeks.

If you suspect child abuse is occurring, report it to state officials at 855-323-3237. You can submit a tip to the Utah Attorney General's Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force by calling 801-281-1211 or emailing [email protected].

Contact the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children at missingkids.org.