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How to Write the University of Florida Essays 2023-2024

The University of Florida has one required prompt for all applicants that asks about your biggest commitment outside of the classroom. There are three prompts for all applicants that are only required if you answer “yes” to specific questions. It also has one required prompt for applicants to its Honors Program—this prompt asks about a subject or topic you find intellectually stimulating, and about how you think the program’s resources will support this interest.

Since UF receives thousands of applications from academically-strong students, your essays are your chance to stand out. In this post, we’ll discuss how to craft an engaging response to each of these options.

Read this UF essay example to inspire your own writing.

University of Florida Supplemental Essay Prompts

All applicants.

Prompt 1: Please provide more details on your most meaningful commitment outside of the classroom while in high school and explain why it was meaningful. This could be related to an extracurricular activity, work, volunteering, an academic activity, family responsibility, or any other non-classroom activity. (250 words)

Prompt 2: Do you have any employment or family obligations that limit your participation in extracurricular activities? If so, please describe. (250 words)

Prompt 3: Have you participated in or been assisted in your college preparation and search by programs outside of the classroom, such as Educational Talent Search, Take Stock in Children, Upward Bound, Boys and Girls Club, etc.? If so, please provide the name of the program, details/benefits of your involvement, and how long your experiences continued. (250 words)

Prompt 4: Is there any additional information or extenuating circumstances the Admissions Committee should know when reviewing your application? If so, please provide more information in less than 250 words.

Honors Program 

American novelist henry miller once said, “my hunger and curiosity drive me forward in all directions at once.” students in the university of florida honors program are known for pursuing multiple interests and passions., tell us about a subject or topic that you find intellectually stimulating and are curious to learn more about while in college. which direction(s) do you imagine your hunger for that subject or topic will take you while at uf how do you envision the honors program’s academic and extracurricular resources will support you along the way, please use a maximum of 400 words in your essay for full consideration., all applicants, prompt 1, please provide more details on your most meaningful commitment outside of the classroom while in high school and explain why it was meaningful. this could be related to an extracurricular activity, work, volunteering, an academic activity, family responsibility, or any other non-classroom activity. (250 words).

This prompt is a variation of the common Extracurricular Activity prompt since it’s asking you to write about a meaningful commitment you had outside of the classroom.

Brainstorming your topic:

First, you’ll need to narrow down your list of extracurricular activities to just one to write about. It’s important to choose an activity that you’re passionate about, that you’ve been involved in for a while, and that has helped shape you into the person you are today.

Here are some ideas of the types of topics you might write about:

• Activities where you’ve shown significant commitment
• Clubs or groups that you’ve created, or where you’ve had a leadership role
• Activities that have helped to shape a specific personal aspect of your life
• Experiences that relate to your future goals
• Unique extracurriculars that require an explanation for people to thoroughly understand them

Once you’ve chosen a topic, think about the following questions before you begin writing:

• What is the strongest emotion you feel about this activity?
• What do you think about when you participate in the activity?
• Has the activity helped you strengthen or develop any personality traits?
• Are there any specific skills you’ve developed from participating in this activity?
• How does this activity impact the rest of your life?

Tips for writing your essay:

A good response will explain what your activity, responsibility, or experience is, what it entails, and why it is important to you. Make sure to address each of these points, as they are either stated in or implied by the prompt.

Here’s an example of an excellent response to this prompt from Sara, a prospective entrepreneurship major:

“During my sophomore year, I started creating charcuterie boards for parties, events, and other occasions for my friends and family. I loved finding the perfect assortment of crackers, fruit, cheeses and jams to arrange into beautiful boards, but more importantly, I enjoyed networking with people at each event I worked.

After a few months, I began to receive so many referrals that I decided to start a small business. Managing my schoolwork, sports schedule, leadership roles, and my small business required me to develop excellent time management skills. I also learned about the financial aspects of running a business—managing cash flow, balancing costs, and paying taxes—and the marketing aspects of running a business—leveraging social media, paying for ad space, and utilizing other channels to promote my business.

Prior to my sophomore year, I had dreams of becoming a doctor. However, after starting my charcuterie business, I realized that my interests in finance, marketing, and business lent themselves to a future in entrepreneurship. I’m grateful for the opportunities my business has given me, and I’m excited to watch my business—and other businesses I might start—grow in the future!”

This example is strong because it very clearly states what the activity is. It then branches off into a discussion of the student’s business, something that was created as a result of the activity. The student also describes her roles in her activity/business throughout the essay, and then ends with a strong argument as to why this passion has become so meaningful to her.

Mistakes to avoid:

Choosing the wrong activity. Don’t choose to write about an extracurricular just because you think it sounds impressive, or even just because you’re skilled at it. This essay is a chance to write about an extracurricular that is meaningful to you, so it’s important that you select an activity you’re really passionate about!

Writing a shallow response. ​​It’s not effective to give a detailed history of your participation, or to tell an enticing story about the extracurricular you’ve chosen if you forget to explain how the activity has affected or changed you. It’s crucial to explain your personal development from participating in the activity.

Listing your accomplishments. Simply listing out your accomplishments with no elaboration will make for an unengaging response that reads like a laundry list. Instead, provide a unique perspective by sharing how the activity impacts your current life as well as your aspirations for the future.

A Note About Prompts 2-4

You are only required to respond to each of the following all applicants prompts if you choose the “Yes” option offered in the first half of each prompt, respectively. If any (or all) of the prompts don’t apply to you, you can choose the “No” option for that prompt, and will not need to respond to it.

All Applicants, Prompt 2

Do you have any employment or family obligations that limit your participation in extracurricular activities if so, please describe. (250 words, optional).

This question is similar to the Additional Information section listed in the Common App, as well as the exceptional personal circumstances prompt you might see during the application process. Check out the linked guides for tips for writing an essay like this!

One quick tip: Be sure to at least explain what the employment/obligation entailed, and why you had to take it on, as well as the results of you taking on this extra responsibility. Obligations you might write about include working to contribute financially to your family, taking care of an ill relative, or frequently babysitting younger siblings.

Consider the following example to see what a good response might include:

“Last year, my single mother was let go from her job at an insurance company when it was struggling financially and going through a period of transition. As a result, we both had to take on additional jobs to make ends meet, so I briefly left my school’s robotics team throughout the second semester and summer following junior year. Instead, I worked at a local grocery store after school and on the weekends, learning how to work efficiently under pressure while supporting my family.”

All Applicants, Prompt 3

Have you participated in or been assisted in your college preparation and search by programs outside of the classroom, such as educational talent search, take stock in children, upward bound, boys and girls club, etc. please provide the name of the program, details/benefits of your involvement, and how long your experiences continued. (250 words, optional).

This prompt is straightforward and simple. It requires you to list your involvement in programs that have helped you with your college search (outside of school), and it also asks you to list the details and benefits of your involvement in the program(s).

Here’s a sample response:

“During my junior and senior years of high school, I participated in the Take Stock in Children Program. While I was involved in the program, I was paired with a volunteer mentor and received frequent college readiness coaching. My mentor, James, was an undergraduate student at the University of Florida. Before participating in the Take Stock in Children program, I wasn’t interested in attending college, and I was planning to work at my local grocery store after high school to support my hobby, music production. James helped me understand the importance of college and he encouraged me to pursue a Bachelor of Music degree at the University of Florida. I am grateful for how my involvement with Take Stock in Children has impacted my future education and aspirations.”

This student does a great job at answering the prompt. He lists the program name (Take Stock in Children) and the duration (junior and senior year) that he participated in the program. He also includes the details of his involvement (volunteer mentor and college readiness coaching) and most importantly, the benefits of their involvement (how his relationship with James inspired him to apply for college as a music major).

All Applicants, Prompt 4

Is there any additional information or extenuating circumstances the admissions committee should know when reviewing your application (250 words, optional).

​​This also resembles the Additional Information section listed in the Common App and the exceptional personal circumstances prompt . This is essentially your shot to either explain a lapse in your performance somewhere or to introduce something new about yourself that isn’t evident elsewhere in your application. 

You may elaborate further upon an extracurricular activity you feel isn’t clearly explained throughout your application (For example, say you were a Head Designer for your town’s Environmental and Aesthetic Initiative, and admissions officers may not know what that is). You could also talk about a personal story or history that has affected you greatly. You may even discuss a previously unmentioned extracurricular activity that says a lot about you.

This is a wonderfully free space for you to dive into whichever information you feel will give the admissions team the most complete version of your identity. If you don’t think this space is necessary for you, that’s fine too! Just leave it blank.

Honors Program Applicants Prompt

This prompt is meant to gauge who you are beyond your grades and test scores. It’s primarily about a subject that interests you, but there are multiple parts of the prompt that you’ll need to address:

• Identifying the subject or topic of interest
• Describing the direction you imagine that interest taking at UF
• Detailing how you envision the honors program’s resources supporting the direction you just described

Before you begin writing, it’s important that you select a strong topic. Of course, you need to be sincere. Don’t write about a topic you’re not that interested in just because you think the admissions committee wants to read about it. Good essays are always about authentic topics rather than disingenuous ones. To help you think, make a list of your the subjects that are most interesting and meaningful to you, and consider the following questions:

1) Which subject on your list have you shown the most commitment to? Which has been most influential in your development?

2) What is the strongest emotion you feel about this subject?

• Why do you feel this emotion?
• Has that emotional response changed over time? If so, how and why?
• What emotions do you feel when you’re actively engaging with this subject?

3) What thoughts and feelings go through your mind when you’re actively studying or learning about this subject?

4) Have you developed or strengthened any personality traits as a result of your engagement with this subject? If so, what are they and how have they evolved over time?

5) Have you developed any skills while studying this subject? These can include soft skills such as critical thinking, public speaking, work ethic, and teamwork, or hard skills, which are specific to whatever domain your subject is a part of.

6) What impact has your interest in this subject had on the rest of your life (activities, social life, academics, etc.)?

Once you’ve chosen your topic, think about how you want to structure your essay. You have up to 400 words, and you’ll probably need that space to address each part of the prompt. The prompt specifically asks how you see the UF Honors Program fostering that interest, so you’ll definitely want to include a response to that question.

You have some flexibility in the way you respond to this prompt. There are a few ways to introduce the subject you’re interested in. You might explicitly state what you enjoy about the subject, or perhaps you’ll talk about some of the experiences or outcomes related to the subject that have brought you fulfillment. Consider the following examples of opener styles you might use:

• Stating the subject explicitly: “For the last three years, I have filled every moment of free time I’ve had with videos and books about psychology.”
• Beginning with an anecdote: “My eyes widened with fascination as the colors climbed my chromatography paper. This was my first chemistry lab, and a moment that would completely change my desired career path forever.”
• Describing an experience and delaying naming the subject: “ ‘So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.’ With that sentence, I finished The Great Gatsby, the fifth novel I read that month.”

Since you have some space to work with, you can be creative when describing the subject you’re writing about. Use imagery to your advantage, be specific when discussing your emotions, and try to describe your emotional response to the subject in a way that reveals something about your personality.

Next, you’ll want to describe the direction you imagine this interest taking at UF. There are really no wrong answers here, since you can’t exactly predict the future. Luckily for you, this question is less about what you actually imagine and more about what you plan. That’s where it ties into the third question, how you see the program’s resources supporting your interest.

To do this effectively, you need to do some research on UF and its Honors Program. To start, look around on the UF Honors Program website to find resources that are particularly appealing to you. These might include particular classes or professors, research groups, program traditions, and extracurricular opportunities or programs. Honors students also enjoy access to internships and research opportunities. For example, a student who is interested in homesteading might mention how they’re excited to take the Honors Program’s beekeeping classes to expand their knowledge and skills.

Everything just mentioned is a good way to establish a tangible connection to the program, but you might also try to establish an intangible connection as well. An intangible connection involves discussing how the program’s values might align with your own.

You want to craft an effective essay, so you should note a few common mistakes to avoid:

• Don’t pick the wrong topic! Bad subjects include: those you’ve already written about somewhere else in your application, impressive-sounding subjects you don’t actually have experience or an interest in, and subjects you haven’t actually put that much time into.
• Don’t just describe your interest without elaborating on its impact on you. You might get caught up in an anecdote when writing, but don’t forget to explain the subject’s significance.
• Don’t just list your accomplishments within the subject. You shouldn’t simply provide a list of things that make you look good superficially. You want to show your personal perspective and growth by discussing your emotional response to your chosen subject and the ways in which the subject impacts your life.
• Don’t forget to answer each part of the prompt. You are asked to discuss a subject that you’re curious about, the direction you see that interest going in at UF, and the ways in which UF’s Honors Program will help you along the way.

Structurally, take a reflective approach and really analyze your thoughts and feelings about the subject. You have 400 words to work with, so you can really get into detail about each part of the prompt. As long as you can provide a good reflection, describe your subject well, and detail the role the UF Honors Program will play in fostering your interest, you will be fine.

Where to Get Your University of Florida Essays Edited

Do you want feedback on your University of Florida essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools.  Find the right advisor for you  to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

University of Florida Supplemental Essays 2023-24

September 8, 2023

At the turn of the millennium, the University of Florida welcomed 63% of Gator applicants to Gainesville and functioned as a fairly accessible and highly affordable option for residents of the Sunshine State. However, by 2023, while still extremely affordable, the task of becoming a Gator has become far more difficult. They now receive over 67,000 applications and accept fewer than 30% of those who apply. Incoming freshmen now possess mid-50% weighted GPAs of 4.4-4.6 and ACT scores of 30-34. Another commonality amongst accepted students is that they write an excellent University of Florida supplemental essay.

 (Want to learn more about How to Get Into UF? Visit our blog entitled:  How to Get Into the University of Florida: Admissions Data and Strategies  for all of the most recent admissions data as well as tips for gaining acceptance.)

When applying to an institution like the University of Florida that rejects more than 7 of every 10 applicants, you’ll need to put maximum effort into every area of the application, including the Common App and supplemental essay. Below is the University of Florida’s required supplemental prompt for the 2023-24 admissions cycle along with our advice for composing a winning essay.

University of Florida Supplemental Essays – Question 1 (Required)

Please provide more details on your most meaningful commitment outside of the classroom while in high school and explain why it was meaningful. This could be related to an extracurricular activity, work, volunteering, an academic activity, family responsibility, or any other non-classroom activity. (250 Word Limit)

The University of Florida is not necessarily asking you to write about the activity where you earned the most prestigious awards or held the highest position of leadership. The university is going to see all of your activities in that section of the Common App. As such, you want to ask yourself which of your entries is crying out for more explanation and detail? Which one is closest to your heart and most representative of your unique passions? Pick the option that will allow you to deliver additional detail that may be memorable to the admissions reader. Start this process by asking yourself, “What is the most interesting and consequential moment that I have experienced in one of my extracurricular activities?” If you can identify one clear-cut moment, that is likely the activity worth sharing with the UF admissions staff.

University of Florida Supplemental Essays (Continued)

What kind of campus community member will you be?

At the core of this essay prompt, the UF admissions officers are really trying to figure out what you will bring to the Gainesville campus community. Again, what you achieved in a particular extracurricular activity will already be viewable in your Common App Activities Section and the Common App Honors Section , so you don’t want to make that the focus of this essay. Instead, you may want to touch on some of the following areas related to your role as a community member:

• How you function as a member of a team.
• Your leadership ability.
• Your passion, commitment, and drive.
• A commitment to social justice and equity.
• How you respond to challenges and obstacles.
• Illustrate how you have demonstrated maturity and dependability.

How important are the University of Florida supplemental essays?

The University of Florida lists six factors as being “very important” to the admissions committee. They are: GPA, standardized test scores, talent/ability, character/personal qualities, extracurricular activities, and the rigor of your secondary school record and most relevant to this blog—the application essay. It’s important to keep in mind that UF places both the essays and extracurricular involvement in the top tier of importance. Therefore, this essay is something of a two-for-one. Further, the essay is rated as being of greater importance than class rank, standardized test scores, or your state residency status.

Want personalized assistance with your University of Florida supplemental essays?

If you are interested in working with one of College Transitions’ experienced and knowledgeable essay coaches as you craft your main Common App essay and University of Florida supplemental essay, we encourage you to get a quote  today.

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University of Florida (UF) Supplemental Essays Guide: 2021-2022

Not sure how to approach the University of Florida supplemental essays? CollegeAdvisor.com’s guide to the University of Florida supplemental essays will show you exactly how to write engaging UF supplemental essays and maximize your chances of admission. If you need help responding to the UF essay topics, create your free  account  or  schedule a free advising assessment  by calling (844) 343-6272.

University of Florida Essay Guide Quick Facts:

• UF has an acceptance rate of 31.0%— U.S. News  ranks the University of Florida as a  highly selective  school.
• There is  one  school-specific UF supplemental essay required for all applicants. If you are planning to apply to the UF Honors Program, you will complete an additional  two  UF essays. This means applicants to the UF Honors Program will complete a total of three UF supplemental essays.

Does the University of Florida have supplemental essays?

Yes. Whether you apply through the  Common App  or  Coalition App , you will respond to at least one UF essay prompt. Your UF admissions essay lets the admissions team learn more about you as they review your application.

Any freshman applying through the Common App or Coalition App also can apply to FHP, the University of Florida’s First-Year Honors Program. In addition to the required UF admissions essay, students applying to FHP must complete two additional UF supplemental essays.

While some schools handle honors admissions separately, UF includes all application materials for FHP in the standard UF application. This includes every UF admissions essay. Students completing the UF supplemental essays for the Honors Program, therefore, will submit all three UF essays through the Common or Coalition App. This means that you must complete the UF essays for the Honors Program before you submit your final application.

Need some help writing your Common App essay? Get great tips from our Common App essay  guide .

How many supplemental essays does the University of Florida have?

There are  three  total University of Florida supplemental essays included on the 2021-2022 application.

The University of Florida has  one  UF essay prompt every student is required to complete. Additionally, if you choose to apply to their Honors Program, you must write another  two  UF supplemental essays. The first required UF essay prompt asks about your extracurricular engagements. In contrast, the UF essay topics for the Honors Program ask about your interest in the program and your academic priorities.

Before writing your essays, you’ll want to have an idea of your intended major. If you haven’t already, use our College Search Feature to explore the wide range of majors offered at UF!

How do I write the University of Florida supplemental essays?

Here are some helpful tips to help you get started on the University of Florida supplemental essays!

To begin, the University of Florida supplemental essays give you an opportunity to showcase what motivates you, which academic topics interest you, and how you engage with the world around you. Therefore, think of the UF supplemental essays as your chance to introduce yourself to the admissions team on your own terms.

As you brainstorm the UF essay topics, remember your audience. Admissions officers read thousands of UF supplemental essays. Ultimately, if you are vague, superficial, or misleading, your UF essays won’t help the UF admissions team understand who you are. To maximize your UF supplemental essays’ impact, you’ll want to be as specific, genuine, and authentic as possible.

If you’re having trouble finding topics for your UF essays, don’t worry! We will discuss each UF essay prompt individually below. But first, here are some more technical tips to keep in mind when writing your University of Florida supplemental essays.

Overall, the most important thing your University of Florida supplemental essays should do is answer the UF essay prompt. Even if you write a perfect UF admissions essay, it has failed to serve its main purpose if it doesn’t answer every aspect of the prompt.

Each of the University of Florida supplemental essays has a maximum word limit. In each essay, make sure to stick to the word limit and use your space wisely. For example, if you find yourself quoting someone famous or writing about a friends’ experiences, ask yourself how it relates back to you. In fact, the more “you” that you include in your UF admissions essay, the better!

The admissions team reads countless UF essays every year. This makes it particularly important that your UF admissions essay is as clear and polished as possible. Essentially, the more straightforward and refined your writing is, the more easily your ideas and personality will shine through! For this reason, you’ll want to be sure to give yourself enough time to draft, revise, and proofread your University of Florida supplemental essays.

Below, we have provided the 2021-2022 UF admissions essay prompts. Along with the prompts, you’ll find a breakdown of how to approach each UF admissions essay. As a bonus, we included both the general UF essay prompt and the Honors Program prompts. Additionally, we’ll also discuss tips for narrowing down your UF essay topics. If you follow these tips, you’ll write University of Florida supplemental essays that will help you stand out in admissions.

University of Florida Supplemental Essays – Question 1 (Required)

Please provide more details on your most meaningful commitment outside of the classroom while in high school and explain why it was meaningful. This could be related to an extracurricular activity, work, volunteering, an academic activity, family responsibility, or any other non-classroom activity (250 words or less).

To start, this UF essay prompt asks you to choose your single “most meaningful commitment.” Even if multiple experiences pop into your head, you must narrow your UF essay topic down to just one commitment. The best University of Florida supplemental essays will use one commitment to reveal fundamental aspects of an applicant’s identity.

If you need help choosing your UF essay topics, try making a list using UF’s suggested categories. These include: Extracurricular, Work, Volunteering, Academic Activity, Family Responsibility, Other. While writing, remember that this list can include a sport you’ve played, a job you’ve held, or even a responsibility toward a sibling. Once you’ve completed your list, circle three to five topics that engage you most. Do a five-minute free-write for each. If there’s a topic you can’t stop writing about, there’s a good chance that might be your most meaningful commitment!

Once you’ve selected your essay topic, you can consider the rest of the UF essay prompt. This first UF essay prompt is quite open-ended, which gives you plenty of opportunities to showcase your identity. While “Please provide more details” isn’t very specific, remember that your UF admissions essay is an opportunity for the admissions team to get to know you. As you write, make sure to always connect your topic back to who you are.

Struggling to answer this UF essay prompt? Here are some questions to guide your response:

What did I do?  Be specific. If your topic is a sport, like basketball, discuss details of playing basketball that your reader might not know. For instance, you might describe waking up at 6 am for practice, practicing drills and collaborating with teammates, or performing under the pressure of a crowd.

Why did I do it?  What was the motivation behind your commitment? Let’s continue with the basketball example. Is basketball something you and your little brother grew up playing together? Does playing a sport help with your anxiety? Were you inspired by a certain professional athlete? Including the reason why you pursue the activity will strengthen your response to this UF essay prompt.

What did I take away from this commitment? Learning happens in all places. While this UF admissions essay asks you to describe an activity outside the classroom, asking “what did I learn?” will help take your response to this UF essay prompt from a summary into a story. Maybe you discovered a new passion, a new skill, or a new way of problem-solving. Maybe your commitment to basketball translated into commitment in your classes? Or maybe the teamwork you cultivated in practice changed the way you helped your family at home?

As you expand upon your UF essay topics, think about how your commitment shaped who you are. This will give you a compelling ending to your UF admissions essay.

UF Supplemental Essay Draft Key Questions:

• Does my UF admissions essay reference one (not two, or three) commitment outside of my classes?
• Does my essay show why this is important to me?
• Do I show how I engaged in this activity?
• Does my essay reflect what I gained from this experience?

University of Florida Honors Program Supplemental Essays – Question 1 (Required)

Why is applying for the UF Honors Program important to you? Which aspects of the program’s three pillars of opportunity, community, and challenge pique your interests? How would you engage with the program to exemplify these pillars yourself? How does the program factor into your long-term goals? Please be specific (400 words or less).

The first step in tackling this UF essay prompt is to read about the UF Honors Program’s  3 Pillars of Value . As you think about your UF essay topics, ask yourself what about these pillars draws you to the program. Why are these ideals crucial to your college experience?

If you’re struggling to find specific details to discuss in your UF essays, think about your current situation. What are you missing in your high school academic career that you want to experience in college? If your classes aren’t challenging enough, you might want to talk about “challenge” and why the Honors Program would give you the academic rigor you need to reach your greatest potential. Or, if you feel you haven’t met many like-minded individuals in your high school, you might want to talk about “community” and why the Honors Program would provide opportunities to support and be supported by peers. If you aspire to do research or attend a graduate school, you might want to talk about “opportunity” and how the Honors Program will connect you with advisors to put you on track for those experiences.

Think about the future

While this brainstorm can help you begin choosing your UF essay topics, the Honors Program  Application Tips  reminds prospective students that this UF essay prompt is meant to be forward-facing. This means the admissions team wants to hear about what you imagine for your future rather than what you’ve completed in your past. This is where the second half of the UF essay prompt comes into play.

Imagine the Honors Program as a stepping-stone: what will you do in the Honors Program, and how will that help you reach your goals? Be sure to answer these questions with specific details about the Honors Program. For example, if your dream is to join the medical field, you might reference the Honors Program’s Pre-Health Coordinator and the Professional Development courses you will take to prepare you for medical school.

No matter what draws you to the Honors Program, remember to be specific, answer all four questions in the UF essay prompt, and proofread, proofread, proofread!

• Does my UF admissions essay reference specific details about the Honors Program?
• Do I include both why I am interested in the Honors Program and what I plan to do if I get in?
• Does my essay communicate why the Honors Program is important in reaching my academic goals?

University of Florida Honors Program Supplemental Essays – Question 2 (Required)

Identify two topics you have previously studied that do not traditionally overlap. How do you envision you might bring these topics together during your time in Honors to engage a pressing societal, medical or technological concern? The concern you wish to engage could be of local, national, or global scope, but you should be clear about the issue you want to address. For the purposes of this essay, the topics you identify need not have been formally studied in high school, but you should have studied them since beginning in high school (300 words or less).

This UF essay prompt asks you to think along interdisciplinary lines to express your unique academic goals. This gives you a crucial opportunity to illustrate why you belong in an intellectually rigorous space like UF’s Honors Program.

Choosing a Topic

The first challenge of this UF essay prompt is to choose two topics that do not traditionally overlap. If you are having trouble choosing your UF essay topics, use your transcript and make a bulleted list of your classes divided into basic high school subjects: English, Mathematics, Science, Social Studies, Foreign Language, and the Arts. Think about which classes on this list you most enjoyed, and start combining subjects with seemingly little relation. The more unorthodox your combination, the more unique your UF admissions essay will be. For example, if you first choose Statistics and Chemistry, you may want to keep brainstorming as those have quite a bit of overlap. However, if you choose Chemistry and Music, you’ll have a less traditional pair that will make for a fascinating UF admissions essay. Strong UF essays can come from unexpected places!

Choosing a Concern

Next, turn away from your academic interests and choose the societal, medical, or technological concern you’d like to address. Unlike some other UF essays, this UF essay prompt focuses on how you think rather than who you are. As you choose your concern, therefore, focus on how you will engage the topic rather than why it is important to you. Remember, you’ve chosen this topic because it needs to be addressed, and your reader knows that. If you have a specific, personal connection that impacts the way you view the problem (and will ultimately tackle it), keep your justification brief and always connect back to how you will engage with the topic at hand. The best UF essays will offer concrete, specific details on how an applicant plans to tackle their chosen concern.

As you complete your University of Florida supplemental essays, be sure to reference their Application Tips to ensure you have a strong application.

• Does my essay include two topics that I will combine to solve a problem (not one, not three)?
• Do I show how my two chosen topics inform and relate to one another?
• Does my essay reflect how I plan to engage with this topic (not just why I am interested)?

How hard is it to get into the University of Florida honors program?

The University of Florida Honors Program is a highly challenging and therefore highly competitive program. Last year, the acceptance rate was 13%—well below the University’s acceptance rate. Students who are accepted have excellent scholarly credentials, are leaders in their communities, and plan to push themselves alongside their fellow Honors Gators.

It is important your University of Florida supplemental essays showcase why you belong in the Honors Program. Students accepted to the UF Honors program also have high test scores and GPAs as well as strong UF supplemental essays. You can read more about the 2020 Admitted Student Profile, the Honors review process, and the timeline for the 2021-2022 application cycle  here .

What are the requirements to get into the University of Florida?

Your University of Florida supplemental essays are only one element of your UF application. The University of Florida’s Admissions page provides a list of minimum  requirements for freshman applicants . That means you need to meet or exceed the following benchmarks to have a competitive application outside of your UF supplemental essays:

• Graduation:  You must be on track to graduate from a regionally accredited or state-approved secondary school or the equivalent (G.E.D., etc.).
• Academic Credits:  You need 16 academic units distributed across English, Mathematics, Natural Sciences, Social Sciences, and Foreign Language.
• Grade Point Average:  Your cumulative GPA must be at least a C.
• Conduct:  You must have a record of good conduct. Any major issues may disqualify your application from being considered, regardless of your academic credentials.
• SAT or ACT:  You must submit test scores from the SAT and/or the ACT. If you have taken a test multiple times, UF will take the highest scores for each subsection and superscore to create the highest possible total score.

University of Florida Supplemental Essays: Final Thoughts

As you think about the University of Florida supplemental essays, remember that no single element of your application will determine your admissions results. The UF admissions team uses a  holistic review process , meaning they take everything into consideration: your grades, test scores, extracurriculars, background, and UF supplemental essays. Admissions will consider your UF supplemental essays alongside your other academic credentials to better understand who you are as a student and how you will enrich the University of Florida community. While your transcript and test scores reflect the kind of student you already are, your UF essays will help them see what kind of student you can become.

While writing the University of Florida supplemental essays can be time-consuming, remember your UF essays—including both your Personal Statement and your UF supplemental essays—are the one part of your application where you have complete control. Be sure to take your time and make your University of Florida supplemental essays as strong as they can be! Give yourself time to think about the UF essay topics before you get started. Consider what you’ve already included in the rest of your application and use the UF essays to share something new about who you are.

If the thought of distilling yourself into a few short essays seems daunting, spend some time daydreaming about what going to the University of Florida could mean to your future. Think about the possibilities and opportunities you are excited to take on. Let that excitement shine through in your UF supplemental essays. Good luck!

This 2021-2022 essay guide on UF was written by Stefanie Tedards. For more CollegeAdvisor.com resources, click  here . Want help crafting your University of Florida supplemental essays? Create your free account or schedule a no-cost advising consultation by calling (844) 343-6272.

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University of Florida 2023-24 Supplemental Essay Prompt Guide

Regular Decision: 

Regular Decision Deadline: Nov 1

You Have: 

The Requirements:  1 essay of 250 words

Supplemental Essay Type(s): Activity

Please provide more details on your most meaningful commitment outside of the classroom while in high school and explain why it was meaningful. This could be related to an extracurricular activity, work, volunteering, an academic activity, family responsibility, or any other non-classroom activity. (250 words)

What would your life be mundane without? Elaborate on an activity, responsibility, or passion that is meaningful to you. Unlike an activities resume entry, this should be expanded to reflect your priorities, worldview, and sense of purpose. Do you babysit your cousins when your aunt gets called into work? How does it feel to support your family members in this way and what does the phrase, “it takes a village,” mean to you? Do you foster rescue cats until they find their forever homes? What does this hobby mean to you? Maybe you inherited your animal love from your dad who used to work as a farmhand. Use your experiences to tell admissions something about you they wouldn’t already know from your list of extracurriculars. What gives your life meaning? Why do you wake up in the morning? What are you working toward?

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University of Florida

Writing requirement.

The University of Florida requires all students 1 to complete a Writing Requirement. AICE, AP, CLEP, and IB examination credit as well as dual enrollment or transfer credit may count toward this requirement.

To graduate, students must complete courses that involve substantial writing for a total of 24,000 words.

Courses that count toward this requirement will be in one of three categories:

• 2: Coursework with at least 2,000 words
• 4: Coursework with at least 4,000 words
• 6: Coursework with at least 6,000 words

Some sections of qualified courses may not offer substantial writing in a particular term. In the schedule of courses , the course sections and amount of writing credit awarded (2, 4, or 6 thousand) are identified for a given term.

The writing course grade assigned by the instructor has two components: the writing component and a course grade. Therefore, to receive writing credit, students must satisfactorily complete the writing component and receive a minimum grade of C (2.0) for the course. It is possible to not meet the Writing Requirement and still earn a minimum grade of C in a class, so students should review their degree audit after receiving their grade to verify receipt of credit for the writing component.

Courses intended to satisfy the Writing Requirement may not be taken S/U.

The writing must be evaluated on content, organization and coherence, effectiveness, style, grammar, and punctuation. Assignments must be returned to students with a grade and comments that address the students’ writing skills. Consequently, feedback on all assignments should be provided by the last day of class, or if provided electronically, by the end of finals.

Evaluation of writing is based on individual work. Class notes, quizzes and in-class writing assignments or essay examinations may not be counted. Team-written documents may not be counted for credit unless clear individual sections are identified for grading, such that an individual student’s writing may be evaluated and graded. Drafts cannot be counted separately from final drafts as part of the total number of words completed during the course.

Students may not take the same course multiple times to meet the Writing Requirement, unless the course allows for multiple registration based upon rotating course content.

All courses that require writing will not necessarily count toward the Writing Requirement. In Writing Requirement courses, students will be evaluated as described above.

Except those transferring to UF with an AA degree from a Florida public college or an AA certificate from a Florida public state university.

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What is the purpose of a Personal Statement?

• Prepares you for your next steps
• Helps a committee get to know you beyond your test scores and transcript and allows you to highlight your unique strengths and competencies
• Provides a holistic view of who you are
• May be the only “interview” opportunity with the school
• Showcases what makes you different from other candidates and why you are qualified and a good fit for the program
• Demonstrates your writing ability, self-awareness, and motivations

What will you be asked to write about?

General or Open-Ended Prompt

Some schools will simply ask for a “personal statement,” “letter of intent,” a “statement of purpose,” or simply state “Tell me about yourself.”

• Narrative style response
• Allows more freedom of what to include
• Relates back to why you are pursuing that particular field or program
• Shows your voice
• Not just a summary of your resume

Specific Topics or Questions

Some schools may ask multiple specific questions, which may need to be answered in different essays.

• Answer question(s) fully and stay on topic
• Consider what they are hoping to learn by asking that question
• Refer to relevant experiences or learning to support your answer

Reflection Questions to ask yourself before writing:

• What is distinctive about me?
• How can I help the reader get to know me?
• How do I stand out?
• What will make me a great professional one day?
• Why do I want to attend this program? How does it fit into my short and long-term goals?
• What major influences or accomplishments in my life have helped shaped me and what insights have I gained from them?
• How did I become interested in this field and what have I learned about it (and myself) that has stimulated my interest?
• What are some themes in my life experiences as it relates to my interest in the program or the institution I wish to attend?
• What are my motivations, values, and goals? What unique strengths and competencies have I developed?
• How will my personal qualities contribute to the field and program?

Parts of the Personal Statement

Introduction (“the hook”).

• This section serves as a framework for the rest of the personal statement.
• Use a compelling first statement or a “hook” to grab the reader’s attention. This helps the reader to want to keep reading and to feel connected to you.
• Introduce a main idea or theme to use throughout the personal statement.
• Answer these questions: why are you writing this and what do you want?
• Make sure to mention the name of the school and/or program in this section if you are not using a centralized application.

Body (“Tell Your Story”)

• Use this section to highlight your competencies, abilities, and experiences that will make you a successful student and professional. Try to stick to 2-3 key stories or experiences.
• Be personal and speak in the first person. Make sure the essay reflects your voice and uses concise, direct language rather than relying on cliches or gimmicks.
• Connect how your story relates to your interest in the program and your values, outlook, and ambitions.
• Can use this space to address gaps or discrepencies in your academic record and put them into context, such as drops in GPA or school performance.
• Personalize your statement for each program you are applying for and address the program or school’s unique features that attract you.

Conclusion (“The Future”)

• Reiterate the theme or focus from your narrative, such as why you’ve chosen this career
• goal, what makes this particular program the best next step, and why you are a suitable
• student for this program.
• Make this a strong, forward-looking paragraph. Anticipate possible experiences you hope to gain in that graduate program as well as in your career.
• Make sure to follow the length guidelines provided, otherwise 1 page (single spaced) to 2 pages (double spaced) is ideal.

Your Next Steps

• Proofread! Have at least 2-3 others review your personal statement, including someone who knows you well and a professor or other professional in your field
• Ask others what impressions your personal statement gives. Does it answer the question the prompt(s) ask? Does it relate to why you want to do this particular program?
• Reading your personal statement out loud, to yourself or others, may help clarify if there is cohesion or if anything is vague.
• It is normal to review a personal statement 2-3 times before deciding on a final draft.
• Visit the Career Connections Center and the UF Writing Studio for individual help and workshops on creating a personal statement.

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Sat / act prep online guides and tips, 177 college essay examples for 11 schools + expert analysis.

College Admissions , College Essays

The personal statement might just be the hardest part of your college application. Mostly this is because it has the least guidance and is the most open-ended. One way to understand what colleges are looking for when they ask you to write an essay is to check out the essays of students who already got in—college essays that actually worked. After all, they must be among the most successful of this weird literary genre.

In this article, I'll go through general guidelines for what makes great college essays great. I've also compiled an enormous list of 100+ actual sample college essays from 11 different schools. Finally, I'll break down two of these published college essay examples and explain why and how they work. With links to 177 full essays and essay excerpts , this article is a great resource for learning how to craft your own personal college admissions essay!

What Excellent College Essays Have in Common

Even though in many ways these sample college essays are very different from one other, they do share some traits you should try to emulate as you write your own essay.

Visible Signs of Planning

Building out from a narrow, concrete focus. You'll see a similar structure in many of the essays. The author starts with a very detailed story of an event or description of a person or place. After this sense-heavy imagery, the essay expands out to make a broader point about the author, and connects this very memorable experience to the author's present situation, state of mind, newfound understanding, or maturity level.

Knowing how to tell a story. Some of the experiences in these essays are one-of-a-kind. But most deal with the stuff of everyday life. What sets them apart is the way the author approaches the topic: analyzing it for drama and humor, for its moving qualities, for what it says about the author's world, and for how it connects to the author's emotional life.

Stellar Execution

A killer first sentence. You've heard it before, and you'll hear it again: you have to suck the reader in, and the best place to do that is the first sentence. Great first sentences are punchy. They are like cliffhangers, setting up an exciting scene or an unusual situation with an unclear conclusion, in order to make the reader want to know more. Don't take my word for it—check out these 22 first sentences from Stanford applicants and tell me you don't want to read the rest of those essays to find out what happens!

A lively, individual voice. Writing is for readers. In this case, your reader is an admissions officer who has read thousands of essays before yours and will read thousands after. Your goal? Don't bore your reader. Use interesting descriptions, stay away from clichés, include your own offbeat observations—anything that makes this essay sounds like you and not like anyone else.

Technical correctness. No spelling mistakes, no grammar weirdness, no syntax issues, no punctuation snafus—each of these sample college essays has been formatted and proofread perfectly. If this kind of exactness is not your strong suit, you're in luck! All colleges advise applicants to have their essays looked over several times by parents, teachers, mentors, and anyone else who can spot a comma splice. Your essay must be your own work, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting help polishing it.

And if you need more guidance, connect with PrepScholar's expert admissions consultants . These expert writers know exactly what college admissions committees look for in an admissions essay and chan help you craft an essay that boosts your chances of getting into your dream school.

Check out PrepScholar's Essay Editing and Coaching progra m for more details!

Want to write the perfect college application essay? Get professional help from PrepScholar.

Your dedicated PrepScholar Admissions counselor will craft your perfect college essay, from the ground up. We'll learn your background and interests, brainstorm essay topics, and walk you through the essay drafting process, step-by-step. At the end, you'll have a unique essay that you'll proudly submit to your top choice colleges.

Don't leave your college application to chance. Find out more about PrepScholar Admissions now :

Links to Full College Essay Examples

Some colleges publish a selection of their favorite accepted college essays that worked, and I've put together a selection of over 100 of these.

Common App Essay Samples

Please note that some of these college essay examples may be responding to prompts that are no longer in use. The current Common App prompts are as follows:

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. 2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? 3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? 4. Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? 5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. 6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Now, let's get to the good stuff: the list of 177 college essay examples responding to current and past Common App essay prompts. 

Connecticut college.

• 12 Common Application essays from the classes of 2022-2025

Hamilton College

• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2026
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2022
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2018
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2012
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2007

Johns Hopkins

These essays are answers to past prompts from either the Common Application or the Coalition Application (which Johns Hopkins used to accept).

• 1 Common Application or Coalition Application essay from the class of 2026
• 6 Common Application or Coalition Application essays from the class of 2025
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2024
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2023
• 7 Common Application of Universal Application essays from the class of 2022
• 5 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2021
• 7 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2020

Essay Examples Published by Other Websites

• 2 Common Application essays ( 1st essay , 2nd essay ) from applicants admitted to Columbia

Other Sample College Essays

Here is a collection of essays that are college-specific.

Babson College

• 4 essays (and 1 video response) on "Why Babson" from the class of 2020

Emory University

• 5 essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) from the class of 2020 along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on why the essays were exceptional
• 5 more recent essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on what made these essays stand out

University of Georgia

• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2019
• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2018
• 10 Harvard essays from 2023
• 10 Harvard essays from 2022
• 10 Harvard essays from 2021
• 10 Harvard essays from 2020
• 10 Harvard essays from 2019
• 10 Harvard essays from 2018
• 6 essays from admitted MIT students

Smith College

• 6 "best gift" essays from the class of 2018

Books of College Essays

If you're looking for even more sample college essays, consider purchasing a college essay book. The best of these include dozens of essays that worked and feedback from real admissions officers.

College Essays That Made a Difference —This detailed guide from Princeton Review includes not only successful essays, but also interviews with admissions officers and full student profiles.

50 Successful Harvard Application Essays by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson—A must for anyone aspiring to Harvard .

50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays and 50 Successful Stanford Application Essays by Gen and Kelly Tanabe—For essays from other top schools, check out this venerated series, which is regularly updated with new essays.

Heavenly Essays by Janine W. Robinson—This collection from the popular blogger behind Essay Hell includes a wider range of schools, as well as helpful tips on honing your own essay.

Analyzing Great Common App Essays That Worked

I've picked two essays from the examples collected above to examine in more depth so that you can see exactly what makes a successful college essay work. Full credit for these essays goes to the original authors and the schools that published them.

Example 1: "Breaking Into Cars," by Stephen, Johns Hopkins Class of '19 (Common App Essay, 636 words long)

I had never broken into a car before.

We were in Laredo, having just finished our first day at a Habitat for Humanity work site. The Hotchkiss volunteers had already left, off to enjoy some Texas BBQ, leaving me behind with the college kids to clean up. Not until we were stranded did we realize we were locked out of the van.

Someone picked a coat hanger out of the dumpster, handed it to me, and took a few steps back.

"Can you do that thing with a coat hanger to unlock it?"

"Why me?" I thought.

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame. Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally. My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed. "The water's on fire! Clear a hole!" he shouted, tossing me in the lake without warning. While I'm still unconvinced about that particular lesson's practicality, my Dad's overarching message is unequivocally true: much of life is unexpected, and you have to deal with the twists and turns.

Living in my family, days rarely unfolded as planned. A bit overlooked, a little pushed around, I learned to roll with reality, negotiate a quick deal, and give the improbable a try. I don't sweat the small stuff, and I definitely don't expect perfect fairness. So what if our dining room table only has six chairs for seven people? Someone learns the importance of punctuality every night.

But more than punctuality and a special affinity for musical chairs, my family life has taught me to thrive in situations over which I have no power. Growing up, I never controlled my older siblings, but I learned how to thwart their attempts to control me. I forged alliances, and realigned them as necessary. Sometimes, I was the poor, defenseless little brother; sometimes I was the omniscient elder. Different things to different people, as the situation demanded. I learned to adapt.

Back then, these techniques were merely reactions undertaken to ensure my survival. But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The question caught me off guard, much like the question posed to me in Laredo. Then, I realized I knew the answer. I knew why the coat hanger had been handed to me.

Growing up as the middle child in my family, I was a vital participant in a thing I did not govern, in the company of people I did not choose. It's family. It's society. And often, it's chaos. You participate by letting go of the small stuff, not expecting order and perfection, and facing the unexpected with confidence, optimism, and preparedness. My family experience taught me to face a serendipitous world with confidence.

What Makes This Essay Tick?

It's very helpful to take writing apart in order to see just how it accomplishes its objectives. Stephen's essay is very effective. Let's find out why!

An Opening Line That Draws You In

In just eight words, we get: scene-setting (he is standing next to a car about to break in), the idea of crossing a boundary (he is maybe about to do an illegal thing for the first time), and a cliffhanger (we are thinking: is he going to get caught? Is he headed for a life of crime? Is he about to be scared straight?).

Great, Detailed Opening Story

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame.

It's the details that really make this small experience come alive. Notice how whenever he can, Stephen uses a more specific, descriptive word in place of a more generic one. The volunteers aren't going to get food or dinner; they're going for "Texas BBQ." The coat hanger comes from "a dumpster." Stephen doesn't just move the coat hanger—he "jiggles" it.

Details also help us visualize the emotions of the people in the scene. The person who hands Stephen the coat hanger isn't just uncomfortable or nervous; he "takes a few steps back"—a description of movement that conveys feelings. Finally, the detail of actual speech makes the scene pop. Instead of writing that the other guy asked him to unlock the van, Stephen has the guy actually say his own words in a way that sounds like a teenager talking.

Turning a Specific Incident Into a Deeper Insight

Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

Stephen makes the locked car experience a meaningful illustration of how he has learned to be resourceful and ready for anything, and he also makes this turn from the specific to the broad through an elegant play on the two meanings of the word "click."

Using Concrete Examples When Making Abstract Claims

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally.

"Unpredictability and chaos" are very abstract, not easily visualized concepts. They could also mean any number of things—violence, abandonment, poverty, mental instability. By instantly following up with highly finite and unambiguous illustrations like "family of seven" and "siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing," Stephen grounds the abstraction in something that is easy to picture: a large, noisy family.

Using Small Bits of Humor and Casual Word Choice

My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed.

Obviously, knowing how to clean burning oil is not high on the list of things every 9-year-old needs to know. To emphasize this, Stephen uses sarcasm by bringing up a situation that is clearly over-the-top: "in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed."

The humor also feels relaxed. Part of this is because he introduces it with the colloquial phrase "you know," so it sounds like he is talking to us in person. This approach also diffuses the potential discomfort of the reader with his father's strictness—since he is making jokes about it, clearly he is OK. Notice, though, that this doesn't occur very much in the essay. This helps keep the tone meaningful and serious rather than flippant.

An Ending That Stretches the Insight Into the Future

But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The ending of the essay reveals that Stephen's life has been one long preparation for the future. He has emerged from chaos and his dad's approach to parenting as a person who can thrive in a world that he can't control.

This connection of past experience to current maturity and self-knowledge is a key element in all successful personal essays. Colleges are very much looking for mature, self-aware applicants. These are the qualities of successful college students, who will be able to navigate the independence college classes require and the responsibility and quasi-adulthood of college life.

What Could This Essay Do Even Better?

Even the best essays aren't perfect, and even the world's greatest writers will tell you that writing is never "finished"—just "due." So what would we tweak in this essay if we could?

Replace some of the clichéd language. Stephen uses handy phrases like "twists and turns" and "don't sweat the small stuff" as a kind of shorthand for explaining his relationship to chaos and unpredictability. But using too many of these ready-made expressions runs the risk of clouding out your own voice and replacing it with something expected and boring.

Use another example from recent life. Stephen's first example (breaking into the van in Laredo) is a great illustration of being resourceful in an unexpected situation. But his essay also emphasizes that he "learned to adapt" by being "different things to different people." It would be great to see how this plays out outside his family, either in the situation in Laredo or another context.

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Example 2: By Renner Kwittken, Tufts Class of '23 (Common App Essay, 645 words long)

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry's "Cars and Trucks and Things That Go," and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration.

Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear.

I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

In the lab, Dr. Ray encouraged a great amount of autonomy to design and implement my own procedures. I chose to attack a problem that affects the entire field of nanomedicine: nanoparticles consistently fail to translate from animal studies into clinical trials. Jumping off recent literature, I set out to see if a pre-dose of a common chemotherapeutic could enhance nanoparticle delivery in aggressive prostate cancer, creating three novel constructs based on three different linear polymers, each using fluorescent dye (although no gold, sorry goldbug!). Though using radioactive isotopes like Gallium and Yttrium would have been incredible, as a 17-year-old, I unfortunately wasn't allowed in the same room as these radioactive materials (even though I took a Geiger counter to a pair of shoes and found them to be slightly dangerous).

I hadn't expected my hypothesis to work, as the research project would have ideally been led across two full years. Yet while there are still many optimizations and revisions to be done, I was thrilled to find -- with completely new nanoparticles that may one day mean future trials will use particles with the initials "RK-1" -- thatcyclophosphamide did indeed increase nanoparticle delivery to the tumor in a statistically significant way.

A secondary, unexpected research project was living alone in Baltimore, a new city to me, surrounded by people much older than I. Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research. Whether in a presentation or in a casual conversation, making others interested in science is perhaps more exciting to me than the research itself. This solidified a new pursuit to angle my love for writing towards illuminating science in ways people can understand, adding value to a society that can certainly benefit from more scientific literacy.

It seems fitting that my goals are still transforming: in Scarry's book, there is not just one goldbug, there is one on every page. With each new experience, I'm learning that it isn't the goldbug itself, but rather the act of searching for the goldbugs that will encourage, shape, and refine my ever-evolving passions. Regardless of the goldbug I seek -- I know my pickle truck has just begun its journey.

Renner takes a somewhat different approach than Stephen, but their essay is just as detailed and engaging. Let's go through some of the strengths of this essay.

One Clear Governing Metaphor

This essay is ultimately about two things: Renner’s dreams and future career goals, and Renner’s philosophy on goal-setting and achieving one’s dreams.

But instead of listing off all the amazing things they’ve done to pursue their dream of working in nanomedicine, Renner tells a powerful, unique story instead. To set up the narrative, Renner opens the essay by connecting their experiences with goal-setting and dream-chasing all the way back to a memorable childhood experience:

This lighthearted–but relevant!--story about the moment when Renner first developed a passion for a specific career (“finding the goldbug”) provides an anchor point for the rest of the essay. As Renner pivots to describing their current dreams and goals–working in nanomedicine–the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” is reflected in Renner’s experiments, rejections, and new discoveries.

Though Renner tells multiple stories about their quest to “find the goldbug,” or, in other words, pursue their passion, each story is connected by a unifying theme; namely, that as we search and grow over time, our goals will transform…and that’s okay! By the end of the essay, Renner uses the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” to reiterate the relevance of the opening story:

While the earlier parts of the essay convey Renner’s core message by showing, the final, concluding paragraph sums up Renner’s insights by telling. By briefly and clearly stating the relevance of the goldbug metaphor to their own philosophy on goals and dreams, Renner demonstrates their creativity, insight, and eagerness to grow and evolve as the journey continues into college.

An Engaging, Individual Voice

This essay uses many techniques that make Renner sound genuine and make the reader feel like we already know them.

Technique #1: humor. Notice Renner's gentle and relaxed humor that lightly mocks their younger self's grand ambitions (this is different from the more sarcastic kind of humor used by Stephen in the first essay—you could never mistake one writer for the other).

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver.

I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Renner gives a great example of how to use humor to your advantage in college essays. You don’t want to come off as too self-deprecating or sarcastic, but telling a lightheartedly humorous story about your younger self that also showcases how you’ve grown and changed over time can set the right tone for your entire essay.

Technique #2: intentional, eye-catching structure. The second technique is the way Renner uses a unique structure to bolster the tone and themes of their essay . The structure of your essay can have a major impact on how your ideas come across…so it’s important to give it just as much thought as the content of your essay!

For instance, Renner does a great job of using one-line paragraphs to create dramatic emphasis and to make clear transitions from one phase of the story to the next:

Suddenly the destination of my pickle car was clear.

Not only does the one-liner above signal that Renner is moving into a new phase of the narrative (their nanoparticle research experiences), it also tells the reader that this is a big moment in Renner’s story. It’s clear that Renner made a major discovery that changed the course of their goal pursuit and dream-chasing. Through structure, Renner conveys excitement and entices the reader to keep pushing forward to the next part of the story.

Technique #3: playing with syntax. The third technique is to use sentences of varying length, syntax, and structure. Most of the essay's written in standard English and uses grammatically correct sentences. However, at key moments, Renner emphasizes that the reader needs to sit up and pay attention by switching to short, colloquial, differently punctuated, and sometimes fragmented sentences.

Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research.

In the examples above, Renner switches adeptly between long, flowing sentences and quippy, telegraphic ones. At the same time, Renner uses these different sentence lengths intentionally. As they describe their experiences in new places, they use longer sentences to immerse the reader in the sights, smells, and sounds of those experiences. And when it’s time to get a big, key idea across, Renner switches to a short, punchy sentence to stop the reader in their tracks.

The varying syntax and sentence lengths pull the reader into the narrative and set up crucial “aha” moments when it’s most important…which is a surefire way to make any college essay stand out.

Renner's essay is very strong, but there are still a few little things that could be improved.

Connecting the research experiences to the theme of “finding the goldbug.”  The essay begins and ends with Renner’s connection to the idea of “finding the goldbug.” And while this metaphor is deftly tied into the essay’s intro and conclusion, it isn’t entirely clear what Renner’s big findings were during the research experiences that are described in the middle of the essay. It would be great to add a sentence or two stating what Renner’s big takeaways (or “goldbugs”) were from these experiences, which add more cohesion to the essay as a whole.

Give more details about discovering the world of nanomedicine. It makes sense that Renner wants to get into the details of their big research experiences as quickly as possible. After all, these are the details that show Renner’s dedication to nanomedicine! But a smoother transition from the opening pickle car/goldbug story to Renner’s “real goldbug” of nanoparticles would help the reader understand why nanoparticles became Renner’s goldbug. Finding out why Renner is so motivated to study nanomedicine–and perhaps what put them on to this field of study–would help readers fully understand why Renner chose this path in the first place.

4 Essential Tips for Writing Your Own Essay

How can you use this discussion to better your own college essay? Here are some suggestions for ways to use this resource effectively.

#1: Get Help From the Experts

Getting your college applications together takes a lot of work and can be pretty intimidatin g. Essays are even more important than ever now that admissions processes are changing and schools are going test-optional and removing diversity standards thanks to new Supreme Court rulings .  If you want certified expert help that really makes a difference, get started with  PrepScholar’s Essay Editing and Coaching program. Our program can help you put together an incredible essay from idea to completion so that your application stands out from the crowd. We've helped students get into the best colleges in the United States, including Harvard, Stanford, and Yale.  If you're ready to take the next step and boost your odds of getting into your dream school, connect with our experts today .

#2: Read Other Essays to Get Ideas for Your Own

As you go through the essays we've compiled for you above, ask yourself the following questions:

• Can you explain to yourself (or someone else!) why the opening sentence works well?
• Look for the essay's detailed personal anecdote. What senses is the author describing? Can you easily picture the scene in your mind's eye?
• Find the place where this anecdote bridges into a larger insight about the author. How does the essay connect the two? How does the anecdote work as an example of the author's characteristic, trait, or skill?
• Check out the essay's tone. If it's funny, can you find the places where the humor comes from? If it's sad and moving, can you find the imagery and description of feelings that make you moved? If it's serious, can you see how word choice adds to this tone?

Make a note whenever you find an essay or part of an essay that you think was particularly well-written, and think about what you like about it . Is it funny? Does it help you really get to know the writer? Does it show what makes the writer unique? Once you have your list, keep it next to you while writing your essay to remind yourself to try and use those same techniques in your own essay.

#3: Find Your "A-Ha!" Moment

All of these essays rely on connecting with the reader through a heartfelt, highly descriptive scene from the author's life. It can either be very dramatic (did you survive a plane crash?) or it can be completely mundane (did you finally beat your dad at Scrabble?). Either way, it should be personal and revealing about you, your personality, and the way you are now that you are entering the adult world.

Check out essays by authors like John Jeremiah Sullivan , Leslie Jamison , Hanif Abdurraqib , and Esmé Weijun Wang to get more examples of how to craft a compelling personal narrative.

#4: Start Early, Revise Often

Let me level with you: the best writing isn't writing at all. It's rewriting. And in order to have time to rewrite, you have to start way before the application deadline. My advice is to write your first draft at least two months before your applications are due.

Let it sit for a few days untouched. Then come back to it with fresh eyes and think critically about what you've written. What's extra? What's missing? What is in the wrong place? What doesn't make sense? Don't be afraid to take it apart and rearrange sections. Do this several times over, and your essay will be much better for it!

For more editing tips, check out a style guide like Dreyer's English or Eats, Shoots & Leaves .

What's Next?

Still not sure which colleges you want to apply to? Our experts will show you how to make a college list that will help you choose a college that's right for you.

Interested in learning more about college essays? Check out our detailed breakdown of exactly how personal statements work in an application , some suggestions on what to avoid when writing your essay , and our guide to writing about your extracurricular activities .

Working on the rest of your application? Read what admissions officers wish applicants knew before applying .

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Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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Customer Reviews

Should college essays touch on race? Some say affirmative action ruling leaves them no choice

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When she started writing her college essay, Hillary Amofa told the story she thought admissions offices wanted to hear. About being the daughter of immigrants from Ghana and growing up in a small apartment in Chicago. About hardship and struggle.

Then she deleted it all.

“I would just find myself kind of trauma-dumping,” said the 18-year-old senior at Lincoln Park High School in Chicago. “And I’m just like, this doesn’t really say anything about me as a person.”

When the Supreme Court ended affirmative action in higher education , it left the college essay as one of few places where race can play a role in admissions decisions. For many students of color, instantly more was riding on the already high-stakes writing assignment. Some say they felt pressure to exploit their hardships as they competed for a spot on campus.

Supreme Court strikes down race-based affirmative action in college admissions

In another major reversal, the Supreme Court forbids the use of race as an admissions factor at colleges and universities.

June 29, 2023

Amofa was just starting to think about her essay when the court issued its decision, and it left her with a wave of questions. Could she still write about her race? Could she be penalized for it? She wanted to tell colleges about her heritage but she didn’t want to be defined by it.

In English class, Amofa and her classmates read sample essays that all seemed to focus on some trauma or hardship. It left her with the impression she had to write about her life’s hardest moments to show how far she’d come. But she and some classmates wondered if their lives had been hard enough to catch the attention of admissions offices.

This year’s senior class is the first in decades to navigate college admissions without affirmative action. The Supreme Court upheld the practice in decisions going back to the 1970s, but this court’s conservative supermajority found it is unconstitutional for colleges to give students extra weight because of their race alone.

Still, the decision left room for race to play an indirect role: Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. wrote that universities can still consider how an applicant’s life was shaped by their race, “so long as that discussion is concretely tied to a quality of character or unique ability.”

Scores of colleges responded with new essay prompts asking about students’ backgrounds.

Post-affirmative action, Asian American families are more stressed than ever about college admissions

Parents who didn’t grow up in the American system, and who may have moved to the U.S. in large part for their children’s education, feel desperate and in-the-dark. Some shell out tens of thousands of dollars for consultants as early as junior high.

Nov. 26, 2023

When Darrian Merritt started writing his essay, his first instinct was to write about events that led to him going to live with his grandmother as a child. Those were painful memories, but he thought they might play well at schools like Yale, Stanford and Vanderbilt.

“I feel like the admissions committee might expect a sob story or a tragic story,” said Merritt, a senior in Cleveland. “I wrestled with that a lot.”

Eventually he abandoned the idea and aimed for an essay that would stand out for its positivity.

Merritt wrote about a summer camp where he started to feel more comfortable in his own skin. He described embracing his personality and defying his tendency to please others. But the essay also reflects on his feelings of not being “Black enough” and being made fun of for listening to “white people music.”

Like many students, Max Decker of Portland, Ore., had drafted a college essay on one topic, only to change direction after the Supreme Court ruling in June.

Decker initially wrote about his love for video games. In a childhood surrounded by constant change, navigating his parents’ divorce, the games he took from place to place on his Nintendo DS were a source of comfort.

‘We’re really worried’: What do colleges do now after affirmative action ruling?

The Supreme Court’s ban on affirmative action has triggered angst on campuses about how to promote diversity without considering race in admissions decisions.

But the essay he submitted to colleges focused on the community he found through Word Is Bond, a leadership group for young Black men in Portland.

As the only biracial, Jewish kid with divorced parents in a predominantly white, Christian community, Decker wrote he felt like the odd one out. On a trip with Word Is Bond to Capitol Hill, he and friends who looked just like him shook hands with lawmakers. The experience, he wrote, changed how he saw himself.

“It’s because I’m different that I provide something precious to the world, not the other way around,” wrote Decker, whose top college choice is Tulane in New Orleans because of the region’s diversity.

Amofa used to think affirmative action was only a factor at schools like Harvard and Yale. After the court’s ruling, she was surprised to find that race was taken into account even at public universities she was applying to.

Now, without affirmative action, she wondered if mostly white schools will become even whiter.

A lot of what you’ve heard about affirmative action is wrong

Debate leading up to the Supreme Court’s decision has stirred up plenty of misconceptions. We break down the myths and explain the reality.

It’s been on her mind as she chooses between Indiana University and the University of Dayton, both of which have relatively few Black students. When she was one of the only Black students in her grade school, she could fall back on her family and Ghanaian friends at church. At college, she worries about loneliness.

“That’s what I’m nervous about,” she said. “Going and just feeling so isolated, even though I’m constantly around people.”

The first drafts of her essay didn’t tell colleges about who she is now, she said. Her final essay describes how she came to embrace her natural hair. She wrote about going to a mostly white grade school where classmates made jokes about her afro.

Over time, she ignored their insults and found beauty in the styles worn by women in her life. She now runs a business doing braids and other hairstyles in her neighborhood.

“Criticism will persist,” she wrote “but it loses its power when you know there’s a crown on your head!”

Collin Binkley, Annie Ma and Noreen Nasir write for the Associated Press. Binkley and Nasir reported from Chicago and Ma from Portland, Ore.

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College Sports | UF freshman QB DJ Lagway experiences 1st…

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College sports | inside the elder-abuse case against orlando commissioner regina hill, college sports, subscriber only, college sports | uf freshman qb dj lagway experiences 1st gators’ scrimmage: ‘he did a lot of good today’.

GAINESVILLE — Florida true freshman quarterback DJ Lagway’s first spring scrimmage was a milestone and a measuring stick for the 18-year-old, along with the rest of the Gators.

Only Lagway, the nation’s No. 1 QB recruit in 2024, arrived with a good bit more fanfare and fascination than the vast majority of his new teammates. While his role is yet to be determined, he is sure to have one in 2024 alongside veteran incumbent Graham Mertz .

Playing primarily with the second-team offense Saturday in the Swamp, Lagway showcased his athletic ability but also made clear the learning curve ahead.

“He did a lot of good today,” Gators coach Billy Napier said after the closed scrimmage. “He made some plays with his feet; played with the 2s most of the day. I think that’s where he’s at.”

Lagway has impressed coaches and teammates with his ability to pick up the offense. It’s no surprise it has not always translated to the field.

“The big next step for him is the game-management piece,” Napier said.

The 6-foot-3, 238-pound Texan can no longer overwhelm his competition with size and raw ability, but it has not stopped him from trying.

Napier said he at one point Saturday asked Lagway whether he’d grown up playing Texas Hold ‘Em, given that  the Gators’ quarterback of the future needed to occasionally fold ’em rather than go all-in.

“You got to learn how to play the next hand,” Napier said. “Play the next play, managing the situation thinking of your decision-making relative to the game and the team within that setting. He’s done a really good job in a practice setting, but today was new for him.”

Time and natural talent are on Lagway’s side.

Meanwhile, Mertz continues to be a valuable resource as Lagway learns the ropes.

“Graham has earned the respect of his teammates with the way he prepares,” Napier said. “This guy lives in the building, very process-oriented. He’s maximizing all parts of his day, and he’s an example. Think about good teams; typically the quarterback sets the pace.

“He’s done that.”

Mertz, 23 and in his sixth year in college, has his own areas to improve in Year 2 with the Gators following a 5-7 season.

During his time at Wisconsin (2019-22), Mertz developed a bad habit of forcing the action. He transferred after the 2022 season with a respectable 19-13 record as a starter but also 38 touchdowns and 26 interceptions.

Mertz cleaned up his act in 2023 at Florida, throwing 20 touchdowns and 3 interceptions while completing a SEC-leading 72.9% of his passes.

The next step is to develop a balance between efficiency and aggressiveness. After all, the Gators’ 14 passes of 30 yards or longer were fewer than any team in the SEC but Mississippi State (13).

“He proved that he could play clean ball last year,” Napier said. “Now it’s about trying to improve the calculated risk:  let’s try to be aggressive and manage the game and eliminate careless play. But let’s try to go create more explosive plays and distribute the ball, be the point guard and push the ball down the court.”

Napier and his staff aim to find the right buttons to push with every player on the roster during the final seven of 15 spring practices, culminating with the April 13 Orange and Blue game.

“The next two weeks are going to be critical,” Napier said. “We’ve got to get really specific about the areas where we need to improve. We’ll present plans to the players individually, the position groups, the units and the entire team.”

Defense won the day Saturday.

Napier said the offense committed two turnovers in the red zone. He also noted a few disappointing penalties.

Improved tackling in a secondary and the play of South Carolina transfer linebacker Grayson “Pup” Howard stood out.

“But overall, it was back-and-forth,” Napier said. “There were bright spots on both sides.”

Edgar Thompson can be reached at [email protected]

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