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Parents are the clear influencers in child development during the early years of children’s lives, but they continue to have a lasting impact on development throughout early adulthood. Whether a grown person has adequate communication or leadership skills may be directly determined by how they were raised. In this respect, parenting styles are a crucial component of adult behavior, and as such, they should be adopted with purposefulness to reflect familial values but also to enhance the chances of socioeconomic success for the child as he or she reaches adulthood. Through research, reflection and personal experience, it can be concluded that leadership development is not birthed only in adulthood through experience, but it is cultivated during childhood through parental coaching and modeling.

Essays On Parenting Styles And Child Development

There are multiple parenting styles that impact development, and more specifically, leadership development. For example, authoritarian parental styles are very oppressive, and children are taught not to question their parents (Williams-Washington, Melon & Blau, 2008). Consequences are not often explained, and children are simply told what to do and what not to do because their parents said so. This style negatively impacts leadership development because it suppresses innovation and communication. Children raised in this manner may struggle socially and have less long-term success (Murphy & Johnson, 2011). In contrast, authoritative parenting styles happen when parents lead by example, and this style tends to have children who have minimal behavioral problems and better academic success (Williams-Washington et al., 2008). Authoritative parental styles have the best chance of creating successful future leaders. Parents encourage their children to be independent, but they set limits to make sure they do not hurt themselves or others. Children are given privacy but not complete freedom, and restrictions are limited. Authoritative parenting styles are accepted as the best for childhood development, and other styles, such as neglectful or indulgent parenting, also have had poor results (Murphy & Johnson, 2011).

There is no way to guarantee that one approach will allow a child to develop in the best manner, and in fact, parents are not solely responsible for development. They influence their children by purposefully and accidentally instilling their values in their children, but children have to process these values. In processing, they combine those values into the values that they already have, and that integration creates a new set of values. The older a child is, the less influence the parent has. As a child ages, both parents and children must agree to disagree at times, and they must compromise. This is why parents end up teaching older kids through coaching and modeling. When coaching, a parent specifically recommends ways to react to certain circumstances. When modeling, a parent responds to a situation properly in order to show the child one way to behave. Coaching and modeling definitely fit the authoritative parenting style, but the results of this approach differ depending on the child. Multifinality is when one parenting style creates different results for different children. It is why siblings can be so different despite being raised similarly. Equifinality is when multiple styles create one result, and this can be seen when children from different backgrounds behave similarly (Williams-Washington et al., 2008). This reflects the truth that a parent may be assured that they are parenting properly, but it still depends on the child’s integration of those teachings into their own life. Good parenting does not necessarily result in childhood success, but it gives children a fighting chance.

The parents of this writer were at times authoritarian but became more authoritative as time passed. They realized that conflict was the only environment that could exist in an authoritarian style, so they started to ease their style to one of modeling and coaching. This instilled behavior that a child could look up to, and it resulted in this writer becoming more independent and confident in decision-making. One example of them priming this writer to be a good leader was this writer’s mother climbing the ladder at her place of employment. She worked hard at night studying organizational behavior and strategic management in order to turn the business around, and it paid off immensely. This was modeling for this writer because it showed that hard work is required in order to lead successful change. This writer’s father has also coached this writer to get involved in extra curricular activities and never be afraid to lead when the situation calls for it. Both parents are very supportive, and it has caused this writer to engage in very little questionable or poor behavior, as it improved decision-making abilities.

Coaching and modeling is an excellent way to create an environment where a child can build the skills to be a leader. An authoritative parenting style will help to further these skills by limiting barriers to personal experience and allowing for teaching and guiding moments rather than punitive consequences. Those who are told what to do and never allowed to think for themselves, such as in authoritarian parenting, may be stunted in their communication development and other skills needed to become a leader. No amount of parenting can guarantee a successful child, and it ultimately depends on the child combining parental values with his or her own values that creates the level of development in an adult. Therefore, if a parent wants to give a child all the tools for success, they should model excellency and coach children to be free thinkers, and this furthers their chances for success.  

• Murphy, S.E. & Johnson, S.K. (2011). The benefits of a long-lens approach to leader development: Understanding the seeds of leadership. The Leadership Quarterly, 22. doi:10.1016/j.leaqua.2011.04.004
• Williams-Washington, K.N., Melon, J., & Blau, G.M. (2008). Childhood growth and development within a family context. Family Influences on Childhood Behavior and Development: Evidence-based prevention and treatment approaches (21-38). New York: Routledge.

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Parenting Styles and Their Impact on Children

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Published: Jan 29, 2024

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Authoritative parenting, authoritarian parenting, permissive parenting, references:.

• Baumrind, D. (1966). Effects of authoritative parental control on child behavior. Child Development, 37(4), 887-907.

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Essay on Parenting Styles

Baumrind’s theory of parenting is widely applicable in modern psychology. According to the developmental psychologist, parenting differs on four significant dimensions, which classify parenting styles as authoritarian, permissive and authoritative. Sternberg later developed neglectful or uninvolved parenting. Authoritative parenting style is the most appropriate for a parent who wants to ensure that his/her grow happy and prosperous (Bench, 2019). With this type of parenting, a parent can monitor their kids and listen to them when they have issues. Parents set the limits of behavior for their children and observe them to see whether they are adhering to what they are taught. Moreover, such parenting style allows for flexibility of parents to understand issues that are affecting growing children. Communication is an essential aspect of bringing up straight kids who are happy and prosperous. Failure of a parent to bond with his/her kids might lead to unhappy and unsuccessful children in the society. Baumrind’s approach to classifying parenting styles has proved to help determine the best way that parents should bring up their children. The behavior of children speaks volumes about the parenting style that the parents applied in their up-bringing.

Diana Baumrind’s research has also attracted criticism that renders it questionable in explaining parental styles appropriately (Oden, 2019). First, the theory is based on an original sample that had little diversity in terms of culture, ethnicity and the economy. Lack of diversity in the sample that the psychologist used to conclude makes the theory questionable. Second, the framework focuses more on the attitudes of children rather than the interactions that children have daily. As such, the move to focus on attitude has drawn much criticism in the psychological field. Third, the theory downplays any indication that authoritarian parents love their children. The fact that they spend less time with their children does not make them unloving. This shows that Baumrind’s theory is not all true. Fourth, the theory does not agree with the fact that some permissive parents can guide their kids to grow appropriately without imposing rules. Some parents can apply the permissive parenting style by using words without having further regulations on their children. Lastly, the theory overlooks the child’s contribution to the child-parent relationship. As such, the theory has faced disapproval from a section of researchers due to the listed shortcomings.

The worst parenting style is the permissive one, which has little discipline, guidance or control on children. Such children grow to be rebels and lack friendships. Furthermore, children grow unhappy, lack self-control and suffer from inadequate emotional regulation. At an adult age, such children remain dependent and are immature (Gracia, 2018). Culture affects parenting significantly, especially within nations with multiethnic groups such as the United States. Harsh treatment to kids in a minority cultural setting or majority is harmful to nurturing of kids. Culture helps kids identify and come to terms with who they are in the real world. Culture determines the way of life that specific gender groups should follow depending on whether they are male or female (Holtrop, McNeil Smith & Scott, 2015). As such, parents tend to nurture their children according to the existing cultural practices. A child’s temperament can also affect their parenting in one way or the other (Kaiser, Li, Pollmann-Schult & Song, 2017). For instance, temperament affects a child’s interaction with the surrounding environment. Moreover, a child’s temperament will determine the response of adults and other children to them. As such, children’s differences in emotion, motor activation and reaction to stimuli affect their parenting significantly.

Bench, R. C. (2019). A literature review evaluating parental tendencies in prior adolescent substance users.  Children and Youth Services Review ,  100 , 480-484.

Gracia, P. (2018). Children’s Daily Activities: Concepts, Theories and Research.

Holtrop, K., McNeil Smith, S., & Scott, J. C. (2015). Associations between positive parenting practices and child externalizing behavior in underserved Latino immigrant families.  Family process ,  54 (2), 359-375.

Kaiser, T., Li, J., Pollmann-Schult, M., & Song, A. (2017). Poverty and child behavioral problems: the mediating role of parenting and parental well-being.  International journal of environmental research and public health ,  14 (9), 981.

Oden, M. S. (2019). Parenting Styles and Children’s Usage of the Internet in the Digital Age.

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Why Parenting Styles Matter When Raising Children

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk,  "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time.

Verywell / Laura Porter

The Four Parenting Styles

• Impact of Parenting Style

Advantages of Authoritative Parenting

Can you change your parenting style.

• Limitations and Criticism

Parenting styles are constructs used to describe the different strategies parents tend to utilize when raising children. These styles encompass parents' behaviors and attitudes and the emotional environment in which they raise their children.

Developmental psychologists have long been interested in how parents affect child development. However, finding actual cause-and-effect links between specific actions of parents and later behavior of children is very difficult.

Some children raised in dramatically different environments can later grow up to have remarkably similar personalities . Conversely, children who share a home and are raised in the same environment can grow up to have very different personalities.

Despite these challenges, researchers have posited that there are links between parenting styles and the effects these styles have on children. And some suggest these effects carry over into adult behavior.

This parenting style quiz was medically reviewed by Ivy Kwong, LMFT .

In the 1960s, psychologist Diana Baumrind conducted a study on more than 100 preschool-age children. Using naturalistic observation , parental interviews, and other research methods , she identified some important dimensions of parenting.

These dimensions include disciplinary strategies, warmth and nurturing, communication styles, and expectations of maturity and control. Based on these dimensions, Baumrind suggested that the majority of parents display one of three different parenting styles. Later research by Maccoby and Martin suggested adding a fourth parenting style. Each of these has different effects on children's behavior.

The four parenting styles that have been identify by Baumrind and other researchers are:

• The authoritarian parenting style
• The authoritative parenting style
• The permissive parenting style
• The uninvolved parenting style

Authoritarian Parenting

In this style of parenting, children are expected to follow the strict rules established by the parents. Failure to follow such rules usually results in punishment.

Authoritarian parents don't explain the reasoning behind these rules. If asked to explain, the parent might simply reply, "Because I said so."

Other common characteristics:

• While these parents have high demands, they are not very responsive to their children.
• They expect their children to behave exceptionally and not make errors, yet they provide little direction about what they should do or avoid in the future.
• Mistakes are punished, often quite harshly, yet their children are often left wondering exactly what they did wrong.

Baumrind says these parents "are obedience- and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation." They are often described as domineering and dictatorial. Their approach is "spare the rod, spoil the child." They expect children to obey without question.

Effects of Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian parenting styles generally lead to obedient and proficient children, but they rank lower in happiness, social competence, and  self-esteem . They may also be more likely to lie to avoid punishment.

Authoritative Parenting

Like authoritarian parents, those with an authoritative parenting style establish rules and guidelines that their children are expected to follow. However, this parenting style is much more democratic.

Common characteristics of the authoritative parenting style:

• Authoritative parents are responsive to their children and willing to listen to questions.
• These parents expect a lot of their children, but they provide warmth, feedback, and adequate support.
• When children fail to meet expectations, these parents are more nurturing and forgiving than punishing.

According to Baumrind, authoritarive parents are good at setting standards and monitoring their children's behavior. Their disciplinary methods are assertive and supportive rather than intrusive, restrictive, or punitive.

For authoritative parents, the goal is to raise children who are socially responsible, cooperative, and self-regulated. The combination of expectation and support helps children of authoritative parents develop skills such as independence, self-control, and self-regulation. 

Effects of Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative parenting styles tend to result in happy, capable, and successful children.

Permissive Parenting

Permissive parents , sometimes referred to as indulgent parents, make very few demands of their children. These parents rarely discipline their children because they have relatively low expectations of maturity and self-control.​

• Other common characteristics of permissive parenting:
• Permissive parents prioritize being their child's friend rather than being a parent.
• They are warm and attentive but tend to set few rules, rarely enforce rules, and have few expectations.
• They allow their children to make their own decisions. 

According to Baumrind, permissive parents are responsive to their children but not demanding. Because they do not expect mature behavior from their children, kids may struggle to set limits for themselves. On the positive side, this can help kids become more self-sufficient and independent. On the downside, it can contribute to poor self-regulation.

Permissive parents are generally nurturing and communicative with their children, often taking on the status of a friend more than a parent.

Effects of Permissive Parenting

Permissive parenting often results in children who rank low in happiness and self-regulation. These children are more likely to experience problems with authority and tend to perform poorly in school.

Uninvolved Parenting

In addition to the three major styles introduced by Baumrind, psychologists Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin proposed a fourth style: uninvolved or neglectful parenting.

An uninvolved parenting style is characterized by few demands, low responsiveness, and very little communication.

Other characteristics of the uninvolved parenting style:

• While these parents fulfill the child's basic needs, they are generally detached from their child's life.
• They might ensure that their kids are fed and have shelter but offer little to nothing in the way of guidance, structure, rules, or even support.
• These parents may seem indifferent, unresponsive, and dismissive.
• In some cases, these parents may reject or neglect the needs of their children. They may also be physically or emotionally abusive.

A 2019 study found that children raised by neglectful parents tend to struggle in school, experience more depression, have worse social relationships, have difficulty controlling their emotions, and experience more anxiety.

Effects of Uninvolved Parenting

Uninvolved parenting styles rank lowest across all life domains. These children tend to lack self-control, have low self-esteem, and are less competent than their peers.

The Impact of Parenting Styles

Research suggests that parenting styles can have a range of effects on children. Some of the areas of a child's life that may be affected in the present and in the future include:

• Academics : Parenting styles can play a part in academic achievement and motivation.
• Mental health : Parenting styles can also influence children's mental well-being. Kids raised by authoritarian, permissive, or uninvolved parents tend to experience more anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems.
• Self-esteem : Kids raised by parents with an authoritative style tend to have strong self-esteem than kids raised by parents with other styles,
• Social relationships : Parenting styles can impact how kids relate to other people. For example, kids raised by permissive parents are more likely to be bullied, while kids raised by authoritarian parents are more likely to bully others.
• Adult relationships : Researchers have also found that kids raised by strict, authoritarian parents may be more likely to experience emotional abuse in adult romantic relationships.

Because authoritative parents are more likely to be viewed as reasonable, fair, and just, their children are more likely to comply with their parents' requests. Also, because these parents provide rules as well as explanations for these rules, children are much more likely to internalize these lessons.

Rather than simply following the rules because they fear punishment (as they might with authoritarian parents), the children of authoritative parents are able to see why the rules exist, understand that they are fair and acceptable, and strive to follow these rules to meet their own internalized sense of what is right and wrong.

Mixing Parenting Styles

The parenting styles of individual parents also combine to create a unique blend in each family. For example, the mother may display an authoritative style, while the father favors a more permissive approach.

This can sometimes lead to mixed signals. To create a cohesive approach to parenting, parents must learn to cooperate and combine their unique parenting styles.

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If you notice that you tend to be more authoritarian, permissive, or uninvolved, there are steps you can take to adopt a more authoritative parenting style. Strategies that may help include:

• Listen : Spending time listening to what your child has to say. Let them share their opinions, ideas, and worries with you. 
• Establish rules : Create a clear set of rules for your household and communicate your expectations to your child. In addition to telling your child what the rules are, be sure to explain why these rules exist.
• Consider your child's input : Authoritative parents set the rules but are also willing to listen to their child's feelings and consider them when making decisions.
• Be consistent : Enforce rules consistently, but be sure to provide consequences that are fair, proportionate, and educational. 

Developing a more authoritative parenting style takes time. With practice and consistent effort, however, you will find that your approach to parenting gradually shifts to a more supportive, involved approach that can lead to better developmental outcomes.

Limitations of Parenting Style Research

Links between parenting styles and behavior are based on correlational research , which is helpful for finding relationships between variables . However, such research cannot establish definitive cause-and-effect relationships.

While there is evidence that a particular parenting style is linked to a specific pattern of behavior, other variables, such as a child's temperament, can also play a significant role.

Children May Affect Their Parents' Styles

There is also evidence that a child's behavior can impact parenting styles. One study found that the parents of children who exhibited difficult behavior began to exhibit less parental control over time. Such results suggest that kids might misbehave not because their parents were too permissive but because the parents of difficult or aggressive children gave up on trying to control their kids.

Outcomes Vary

Some researchers have also noted that the correlations between parenting styles and behaviors are sometimes weak. In many cases, the expected child outcomes do not materialize. For example, parents with authoritative styles may have children who are defiant or who engage in delinquent behavior. Parents with permissive styles may have self-confident and academically successful children.

Cultural Factors Play a Role

Cultural factors also play a significant role in parenting styles and child outcomes. There isn't a universal style of parenting that is always best. For example, while authoritative parenting is linked to better results in European and American cultures, research has also found that this style is not linked to better school performance Black and Asian youth.

Parenting styles are associated with different child outcomes, and the authoritative style is generally linked to positive behaviors such as strong self-esteem and self-competence. However, other important factors, including culture, children's temperament, children's perceptions of parental treatment, and social influences, also play an important role in children's behavior.

A Word From Verywell

Understanding more about your own parenting style can help you explore different approaches to parenting your children. If you notice that you tend to have a more strict, indulgent, or dismissive approach, there are steps that you can take to become more involved and authoritative in how you relate to your children.

Baumrind D. Child care practices anteceding three patterns of preschool behavior . Genet Psychol Monogr. 1967;75(1):43-88.

Durrant J, Ensom R.  Physical punishment of children: lessons from 20 years of research .  CMAJ . 2012;184(12):1373-7. doi:10.1503/cmaj.101314

Power TG. Parenting dimensions and styles: a brief history and recommendations for future research .  Child Obes . 2013;9 Suppl(Suppl 1):S14–S21. doi:10.1089/chi.2013.0034

Kuppens S, Ceulemans E. Parenting styles: A closer look at a well-known concept .  J Child Fam Stud . 2019;28(1):168-181. doi:10.1007/s10826-018-1242-x

Alizadeh Maralani F, Mirnasab M, Hashemi T. The predictive role of maternal parenting and stress on pupils' bullying involvement .  J Interpers Violence . 2019;34(17):3691-3710. doi:10.1177/0886260516672053

Beyarslan SD, Uzer T. Psychological control and indulgent parenting predict emotional-abuse victimization in romantic relationships . Curr Psychol . 2022;41(8):5532-5545. doi:10.1007/s12144-020-01072-w

Bi X, Yang Y, Li H, Wang M, Zhang W, Deater-deckard K. Parenting styles and parent-adolescent relationships: the mediating roles of behavioral autonomy and parental authority . Front Psychol . 2018;9:2187. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2018.02187

Huh D, Tristan J, Wade E, Stice E. Does problem behavior elicit poor parenting?: A prospective study of adolescent girls .  J Adolesc Res . 2006;21(2):185-204. doi:10.1177/0743558405285462

Bernstein DA.  Essentials of Psychology . Cengage Learning; 2013.

Benson, JB, Marshall, MH. Social and Emotional Development in Infancy and Early Childhood . Academic Press, 2009.

Macklem, GL. Practitioner's Guide to Emotion Regulation in School-Aged Children . Springer, 2008.

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

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Types of parenting styles and effects on children.

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• Definition/Introduction

When it comes to parenting, there is a great deal of diversity among families. Cultural backgrounds have a major impact on how the family unit exists and how children are reared. In the last several years, the population of the United States of America has had a makeup. Changes driven by immigration (with different cultural, ethnic, and spiritual ideologies), socioeconomic status, and single-parent families are some of the factors that determine a variety of parenting styles among families. As per the 2014 U.S. Census Bureau data, ¼ of children lived in single-parent families, and three-fourths lived in households with two married parents. These patterns differ when race and ethnicity are considered. Although children can thrive in all types of family environments, data suggest that, on average, children living in single-parent families fare less well than their counterparts.

The definition of culture refers to a pattern of social norms, values, language, and behavior shared by individuals. As a result, parents are affected by their culture. When it comes to self-regulation, parenting approaches vary across cultures concerning promoting attention, compliance, delayed gratification, executive function, and effortful control.

Every parent has a different approach in how to interact and guide their children. A child’s morals, principles, and conduct are generally established through this bond. Different researchers have grouped parenting styles into three, four, five, or more psychological constructs. This article's content will only focus on four parenting categories: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. Every category employs a unique approach to how parents raise their children. Generally, each parent will fall into one of these categories and sometimes have some characteristics from another category. Parenting style can also be situation-dependent.

• Issues of Concern

Authoritarian Parenting

Parents of this style tend to have a one-way mode of communication where the parent establishes strict rules that the child obeys. There is little to no room for negotiations from the child, and the rules are not usually explained. They expect their children to uphold these standards while making no errors. Mistakes usually lead to punishment. Authoritarian parents are normally less nurturing and have high expectations with limited flexibility. 

Children that grow up with authoritarian parents will usually be the most well-behaved in the room because of the consequences of misbehaving. Additionally, they are better able to adhere to the precise instructions required to reach a goal. Furthermore, this parenting style can result in children who have higher levels of aggression but may also be shy, socially inept, and unable to make their own decisions. [1]  This aggression can remain uncontrolled as they have difficulty managing anger as they were not provided with proper guidance. They have poor self-esteem, which further reinforces their inability to make decisions. [2]  Strict parental rules and punishments often influence the child to rebel against authority figures as they grow older.  

Authoritative Parenting

This type of parent normally develops a close, nurturing relationship with their children. They have clear guidelines for their expectations and explain their reasons associated with disciplinary actions. Disciplinary methods are used as a way of support instead of punishment. Not only can children have input into goals and expectations, but there are also frequent and appropriate levels of communication between the parent and their child. In general, this parenting style leads to the healthiest outcomes for children but requires a lot of patience and effort on both parties. 

Authoritative parenting results in children who are confident, responsible, and able to self-regulate. [1] [3]  They can manage their negative emotions more effectively, which leads to better social outcomes and emotional health. Since these parents also encourage independence, their children will learn that they are capable of accomplishing goals on their own. This results in children who grow up with higher self-esteem. Also, these children have a high level of academic achievement and school performance. [4]

Permissive Parenting

Permissive parents tend to be warm, nurturing and usually have minimal or no expectations. They impose limited rules on their children. Communication remains open, but parents allow their children to figure things out for themselves. These low levels of expectation usually result in rare uses of discipline. They act more like friends than parents. 

Limited rules can lead to children with unhealthy eating habits, especially regarding snacks. [5]  This can result in increased risks for obesity and other health problems later in the child’s life. The child also has a lot of freedom as they decide their bedtime, if or when to do homework, and screen time with the computer and television. [6]  Freedom to this degree can lead to other negative habits as the parent does not provide much guidance on moderation. Overall, children of permissive parents usually have some self-esteem and decent social skills. However, they can be impulsive, demanding, selfish, and lack self-regulation. [7] [8]

Uninvolved Parenting

Children are given a lot of freedom as this type of parent normally stays out of the way. They fulfill the child’s basic needs while generally remaining detached from their child’s life. An uninvolved parent does not utilize a particular disciplining style and has a limited amount of communication with their child. They tend to offer a low amount of nurturing while having either few or no expectations of their children. 

The children of uninvolved parents usually are resilient and may even be more self-sufficient than children with other types of upbringing. However, these skills are developed out of necessity. Additionally, they might have trouble controlling their emotions, less effective coping strategies, may have academic challenges, and difficulty with maintaining or nurturing social relationships. [9] [10]

• Clinical Significance

Characteristics of a parent’s upbringing style may continue to be prevalent in the child’s behaviors and actions as they age. As a child grows older, they can be affected by other factors that further shape their conduct or possibly change it entirely (i.e., therapy, culture, job, and social circle). With regards to health outcomes, it is important to identify which areas of concern are related to the upbringing style of a patient’s parents (i.e., the habit of unmonitored snacking) and address the issues at that level. These issues become relatively more important when it comes to behavioral/ psychological intervention.

Becoming culturally competent whenever possible is a great asset for providers who take care of pediatric patients. Understanding the family background, how rules are set, and discipline styles will allow the clinician to understand the dynamics of the family unit. Once the provider is familiarized with the parental rearing techniques, identifying, managing, or referring families will be an easier task.

• Nursing, Allied Health, and Interprofessional Team Interventions

Child interventions may require knowledge of their parent's upbringing style, especially if physical or verbal abuse is suspected. Understanding the child's home environment can lead to better patient outcomes as more personalized approaches can be taken towards the child's wellbeing.

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• Access free multiple choice questions on this topic.
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Disclosure: Terrence Sanvictores declares no relevant financial relationships with ineligible companies.

Disclosure: Magda Mendez declares no relevant financial relationships with ineligible companies.

This book is distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) ( http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/ ), which permits others to distribute the work, provided that the article is not altered or used commercially. You are not required to obtain permission to distribute this article, provided that you credit the author and journal.

• Cite this Page Sanvictores T, Mendez MD. Types of Parenting Styles and Effects On Children. [Updated 2022 Sep 18]. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing; 2024 Jan-.

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• Perceived parenting styles and primary attachment styles of single and children living with both parents. [J Pak Med Assoc. 2021] Perceived parenting styles and primary attachment styles of single and children living with both parents. Idrees MU, Zahra SM, Naeem F. J Pak Med Assoc. 2021 Jun; 71(6):1540-1544.
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Home / Parenting, Kids & Teens / The 4 types of parenting styles: What style is right for you?

The 4 types of parenting styles: What style is right for you?

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A parent’s job is to prepare their children to be adults who are capable of taking care of themselves and overcoming difficulties. It’s not an easy job. Parents have to set appropriate limits, watch their children fail and let them feel the consequences of their actions. Sometimes parents even endure the harsh screams of “I hate you!” or other painful words.

“I tell parents that it’s OK for your kids to be mad at you and not like you because of the limit you set,” said Hannah L. Mulholland, LICSW, MSW, a Mayo Clinic pediatric social worker. “You’re the best person in the world for them not to like and be mad at because you’re the one person who’s not going to desert them. You’re still going to love them, even when they’re mad at you. But for many parents, the reason they don’t set limits is because they want to be liked.”

Parenting is about supporting children while they make their own mistakes, take on age-appropriate responsibilities, think for themselves and solve their own problems. How you do that is up to you.

For example, you can let your kids choose how and when to do their homework — but also let them know that if they don’t do it, there may be consequences at school. “Let your kid be distressed. Let your kid make mistakes,” Mulholland says. “That’s how they learn.”

Kids who don’t learn might enter the adult world woefully unprepared or even afraid because they don’t know how to have relationships, do their laundry or manage their money. “They get in over their heads because they don’t really know what their own capacity is,” Mulholland says.

4 parenting styles

There are four main parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive and neglectful. You don’t have to commit to one style. It’s natural to use different styles in different situations. When safety is at stake, a parent might use a firm authoritarian style that leaves no room for negotiation. But a parent might put consequences on hold and lean into a permissive approach to encourage a teenager to call for help if they put themselves in a dangerous situation.

“As parents, we are all doing the best we can each day,” Mulholland says. “Our intentions are always good, but we struggle to execute depending on our own capacity in the moment. Give yourself a break as a parent and recognize your own limits. All of the advice in this article is for when you are your very best self, not necessarily something you can implement all the time.”

Here’s a look at each of the four styles.

Authoritative parenting style

Authoritative parenting is often considered the ideal style for its combination of warmth and flexibility while still making it clear that the parents are in charge. (3) Children of authoritative parents know what is expected of them. Their parents explain reasons for the rules and consequences for breaking them. Parents also listen to their child’s opinions, but the parent remains the ultimate decision maker.

Authoritative parents develop close, nurturing relationships with their children. Children with authoritative parents tend to grow up confident, responsible and capable of managing their emotions. They are also friendly, curious and achievement-oriented.

What is an example of authoritative parenting style?

One place where parenting style shows is at mealtimes. Authoritative parents have more family meals where the parents model eating behaviors — rather than imposing strict restrictions. The parents will include the children in meal preparation. Perhaps the child will choose what’s for dinner one night a week or choose the side dish. Research shows that children of authoritative mothers have a high quality of diet and eat more fruit than children from different parenting styles.

Permissive parenting style

Permissive parents might pride themselves on being their child’s best friend. These parents are warm and nurturing with open communication. They are actively involved in their children’s emotional well-being. They also have low expectations and use discipline sparingly. Permissive parents let children make their own choices, but also bail them out if it doesn’t go well.

Children of permissive parents have the freedom to make decisions like what to eat, when to go to bed and whether to do their homework. These children tend to have good self-esteem and social skills. But they can be impulsive, demanding and lack the ability to self-regulate. (1) Permissive parents often try to control their child’s environment, so the child doesn’t have to experience rejection or failure. This means the child might enter adulthood unprepared.

What is an example of permissive parenting style?

When it comes to food, permissive parents might have lax rules. They allow the children to choose what they want, even if that means the parents make a special meal. This could lead to picky eating and unhealthy diet choices. Permissive parenting is associated with lower fruit and vegetable intake. It may also result in inexperience in trying new things or going with the flow and difficulty in social settings involving food.

Authoritarian parenting style

Authoritarian parenting uses strict rules, high standards and punishment to regulate the child’s behavior. Authoritarian parents have high expectations and are not flexible on them. The children might not even know a rule is in place until they’re punished for breaking it.

Children of authoritarian parents are good at following instructions and behave well. However, these children might grow up with a fear of punishment and lack experience making their own decisions. As a result, some might become aggressively rebellious, lack social skills and may have difficulty making sound decisions on their own.

What is an example of authoritarian parenting style? 

At mealtimes, authoritarian parents might enforce rules, such as the children eat the same meal as everyone else or finish everything on their plate. However, the family is unlikely to discuss why they eat certain foods and how they fit into their culture or affect a child’s health.

Neglectful parenting style

Neglectful parents fulfill the child’s basic needs, but then pay little attention to the child. These parents tend to offer minimal nurturing and have few expectations or limitations for their child. It’s not always a conscious choice parents make, but can be forced by circumstance, such as the need to work late shifts, single parenting, mental health concerns or overall family troubles.

Children of neglectful parents usually grow up to be resilient and self-sufficient out of necessity. They might have trouble controlling emotions, don’t develop effective coping strategies and they have difficulty maintaining social relationships. They tend to have low self-esteem and might seek out inappropriate role models.

What is an example of neglectful parenting style?

Parents who are uninvolved might not buy groceries or plan meals consistently. That could leave the child concerned about when they will next eat. It can lead them to become preoccupied with food. Children who had neglectful parents often overeat when food is available and may become overweight. But these children often have an easier time leaving home when it’s time.

How do I make sure I don’t mess up my child?

There’s no parenting style that is guaranteed to produce perfectly adjusted children. Nobody’s child is going to go through life universally liked and immune to failure or disappointment. Mulholland says everyone experiences difficulties. “It’s just unrealistic to say that a parenting decision is the reason for that.”

Since children will inevitably go through difficult moments, it’s best to equip them with the ability to bounce back. It helps if kids have had some practice from being allowed to try and fail in a safe environment.

For example, if a child played video games instead of studying, they might do poorly on the test. That’s how they learn that they need to manage their time better. But if you let them stay home “sick” to get an extra day to study, they won’t have learned a lesson.

A lot of parents see their child’s successes or failures as a reflection of themselves as a parent. But it’s the parent’s job to give the child the tools they need, not to control the situation.

“I’m always reminding parents that those aren’t your grades,” Mulholland says. “That’s not your college that they end up going to. That’s on them. You shouldn’t measure your worth as a parent on how successful your children are.”

How can parents change their parenting style?

If you find that your child is having some behavior issues, you might decide you need to adjust your parenting style. Behavior change can be as difficult for parents as it is for kids.

Mulholland recommends thinking back to your own childhood and what worked for you and what didn’t. Some people had parents who were very strict. The child wasn’t allowed to talk at the table and was punished severely. As a result, when they became a parent, they went the other way and became permissive. But perhaps a middle ground would work better. As you reflect on your own parenting, think about why you react the way you do.

If you want to change your parenting style, look into parenting workshops. Many schools or early childhood centers offer classes or can refer you to one. Mulholland also recommends the book, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk . A mental health therapist can also help you work through issues from your own childhood and find a parenting approach that will work for your family.

Which parenting style is most encouraged?

Authoritative parenting is the most recommended parenting style . The combination of clear communication and age-appropriate standards can lead to emotionally stable adults who can handle themselves in social situations and set goals for themselves.

To take an authoritative approach, parents can:

• Set clear boundaries and communicate them to children.
• Offer children choices and have discussions about what’s appropriate. For example, you can choose which pajamas you want to wear to bed. You cannot wear your winter coat to bed because it will be too warm.
• Listen to and explore their children’s emotional health concerns.
• Frequently express love and affection.

A helpful approach can be to use praise and positive reinforcement to encourage desired behavior. Ignore annoying, but not dangerous, attempts at getting attention, such as banging on a wall or whining. You also can tell children, “I’ll wait and respond to you when you stop whining.”

Another approach is to reward children with something they want. For example, instead of taking away their tablet until they do their homework, use it as a reward. “I’m going to give you your tablet as soon as you’re done with your homework.” That way the tablet is a reinforcer instead of a consequence.

How to set limits for children

A big part of parenting is setting rules and limits for your children. A metaphor from Russell A. Barkley, Ph.D. , suggests thinking of parenting like enclosing a pasture for your sheep. You build a fence and put things the sheep need in the pasture — plus some fun things to play with. Then let the sheep roam around within their limits.

“You don’t tell the sheep ‘You need to only be in this corner.’ Or ‘You need to only eat that type of flower,'” Mulholland explains. “They’re likely to run into the good flowers and eat the good stuff. But you’re also going to have the fence around them. So there’s a limit as to how far they can go.”

The same with children. As the parents, you set the limits and provide children with food to eat and toys to play with. As the children show they’re being responsible and can handle more, you can expand their boundaries.

Setting limits together

As much as you can, decide with your child what your limits are ahead of time. For example, before the start of a new school year, decide on your limits for weekday screen time, after-school snacks or homework rules.

If you’re trying to make rules on the fly, you’re more likely to be inconsistent from day to day. If you decide that the kids get 90 minutes of screen time on a school night, then you can always hold to that, and the kids know what to expect.

If you have a spouse or co-parent, discuss limits together. It’s common for two parents to have different ideas of what’s appropriate, so it’s helpful to set the boundaries together. And whether you live in the same house or not, try to maintain the same basic limits.

“The most important thing is — in front of the child — you 100% have your partner’s back, even if you disagree wholeheartedly with how they approached it. In front of the child, you have to have their back,” Mulholland says. “In the moment you say, ‘Yep. Dad said eat your broccoli. ‘” If you would have done things differently, talk to your partner about it away from the kids.

Your relationship with a grown child

Parenting style also plays a role in the relationship between parents and their children when they become adults. Kids who had strict, inflexible parents might not have a close relationship as adults. Kids of permissive parents might come back for help frequently when they are in a bind. Kids who grew up with encouraging, supportive parents tend to have close relationships with their parents. They will be independent, but still go to their parents for advice.

“The best-case scenario is they’re still keeping you involved in their life,” Mulholland says. “They’re telling you about the hardships and maybe even seeking advice, but they’re also not expecting you to fix everything.”

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