personal history college essay

Sample Personal History Statement

by Talha Omer, MBA, M.Eng., Harvard & Cornell Grad

In personal statement samples by field.

A personal history statement (PHS) provides an insight into your academic and professional endeavors. It should include your notable achievements as well as the challenges you have faced. The purpose of a PHS is to provide the admissions committee with a better understanding of your personality, your motivation, and how your prior experiences have prepared you for the future.

Here is a sample personal history statement of a student who applied to the anthropology program and got into several top schools like Columbia, Harvard, and Stanford.

Growing up in a family and society that strictly adhered to the traditional roles of a “proper conservative woman,” I have found pride in breaking free from these restrictive cultural expectations and in embracing my own identity and self-expression.

As the first female in my family to study arts, I remember feeling discouraged when, during a sixth-grade science class, I was lectured by my teacher on the importance of hard sciences and the perceived uselessness of arts. This came after she saw my notebook filled with a detailed sketch of the circulatory system of a frog. Her face betrayed her disdain. The muffled laughter of my classmates seemed to confirm her notions – as if to say that only the truly intelligent pursued careers in the hard sciences.

During my tenth-grade, my family pressured me to choose a science-based curriculum over one that focused on arts and humanities. But I refused to give in and instead found a way to combine my love of art with my disdain for science. When words failed me and I felt stifled by my circumstances, art became a reliable outlet for self-expression, full of vibrant colors and offering endless opportunities for creativity.

During my senior high school year, I finally took control of my own future and decided to study fine arts. This choice opened the doors to a whole new realm of possibilities, allowing me to pursue the future I had always dreamed of. In college, I approached my studies with a sense of exploration, as if I were an adventurer in uncharted territory. Each new topic and area of knowledge helped me to grow in objectivity, intellect, and wisdom.

My journey through the world of art and culture has been filled with magnificent pieces and spellbinding paintings, as well as the opportunity to learn about and appreciate the glorious civilizations that reached the pinnacle of trade, art, and culture. My coursework in the history of art piqued my interest in anthropology, and I was particularly fascinated by the ancient Egyptian civilization, whose artifacts, hieroglyphics, and art offered a window into its evolving languages, unique architecture, and transformative culture. Similarly, in Greek civilization, I discovered how art and politics intersected and shaped public opinion, and how philosophy and politics were intertwined.

Art is often thought of as an individual expression, but when considered as a collection, it can have a powerful impact on society. I am fascinated by the relationship between the arts and the evolution of social, political, cultural, and religious systems and constructs.

It has been difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that I have lived in two worlds that often seem incompatible. On a daily basis, I find myself immersed in a culture that imposes strict rules that limit my intellectual and expressive freedom. Whenever I had the opportunity, I immersed myself in the emotive world of curiosity, human expression, and perspective, where individuals create cultures that have outlasted even the most famous nations throughout history. Unfortunately, this parallel universe abruptly came to an end when I graduated.

Working as a professional graphic designer and photographer made it clear to me that I wanted to pursue a Master’s degree. Unfortunately, it took me over a year and a half to convince my family to allow me to do so, rather than simply getting engaged and becoming the first female in my family to pursue a graduate degree.

Attending the country’s premier National College of Arts allowed me to expand my education and skills across the fine arts. This broader exposure helped to refine my academic interests, and I was able to bring these interests together in my thesis on self-harm.

My experimental short film, “Pain of Disappointment,” and accompanying paper explored how the society cope with the expectations placed on them by their families to be successful. The film and paper highlighted the prevalence of self-harm in the society, and how it manifests itself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Through this project, I sought to educate people about self-harm and its impact on our society.

As the first woman in my family to pursue an advanced degree outside of the country, I hope to use the science of Anthropology to explore how individuals can transform negative energies into positive expressions that contribute to and benefit society. Additionally, as a woman growing up in a male-domindated society, I am interested in using Visual Anthropology to study suppressed issues and effectively inform all segments of society, including those who are illiterate, in order to empower everyone to reclaim their pride.

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How to Write an Amazing Personal Statement (Includes Examples!)

Lisa Freedland is a Scholarships360 writer with personal experience in psychological research and content writing. She has written content for an online fact-checking organization and has conducted research at the University of Southern California as well as the University of California, Irvine. Lisa graduated from the University of Southern California in Fall 2021 with a degree in Psychology.

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Zach Skillings is the Scholarships360 Newsletter Editor. He specializes in college admissions and strives to answer important questions about higher education. When he’s not contributing to Scholarships360, Zach writes about travel, music, film, and culture. His work has been published in Our State Magazine, Ladygunn Magazine, The Nocturnal Times, and The Lexington Dispatch. Zach graduated from Elon University with a degree in Cinema and Television Arts.

Bill Jack has over a decade of experience in college admissions and financial aid. Since 2008, he has worked at Colby College, Wesleyan University, University of Maine at Farmington, and Bates College.

Maria Geiger is Director of Content at Scholarships360. She is a former online educational technology instructor and adjunct writing instructor. In addition to education reform, Maria’s interests include viewpoint diversity, blended/flipped learning, digital communication, and integrating media/web tools into the curriculum to better facilitate student engagement. Maria earned both a B.A. and an M.A. in English Literature from Monmouth University, an M. Ed. in Education from Monmouth University, and a Virtual Online Teaching Certificate (VOLT) from the University of Pennsylvania.

The personal statement. It’s one of the most important parts of the entire college application process. This essay is the perfect opportunity to show admissions officers who you are and what makes you stand out from the crowd. But writing a good personal statement isn’t exactly easy. That’s why we’ve put together the ultimate guide on how to nail your personal statement, complete with example essays . Each essay was reviewed and commented upon by admissions expert Bill Jack. Let’s dive in!

Related: How to write an essay about yourself  

What is a personal statement? 

A personal statement is a special type of essay that’s required when you’re applying to colleges and scholarship programs. In this essay, you’re expected to share something about who you are and what you bring to the table. Think of it as a chance to reveal a side of yourself not found in the rest of your application. Personal statements are typically around 400 – 600 words in length. 

What can I write about? 

Pretty much anything, as long as it’s about you . While this is liberating in the sense that your writing options are nearly unlimited, it’s also overwhelming for the same reason. The good news is that you’ll probably be responding to a specific prompt. Chances are you’re applying to a school that uses the Common App , which means you’ll have seven prompts to choose from . Reviewing these prompts can help generate some ideas, but so can asking yourself meaningful questions. 

Below you’ll find a list of questions to ask yourself during the brainstorming process. For each of the following questions, spend a few minutes jotting down whatever comes to mind. 

• What experiences have shaped who you are? 
• What’s special or unique about you or your life story? 
• Who or what has inspired you the most? 
• What accomplishments are you most proud of? 
• What are your goals for the future? How have you arrived at those goals? 
• If your life was a movie, what would be the most interesting scene? 
• What have been some of the biggest challenges in your life? How did you respond and what did you learn? 

The purpose of these questions is to prompt you to think about your life at a deeper level. Hopefully by reflecting on them, you’ll find an essay topic that is impactful and meaningful. In the next section, we’ll offer some advice on actually writing your essay. 

Also see:  How to write a 500 word essay

How do I write my personal statement? 

Once you’ve found a topic, it’s time to start writing! Every personal statement is different, so there’s not really one formula that works for every student. That being said, the following tips should get you started in the right direction:  

1. Freewrite, then rewrite 

The blank page tends to get more intimidating the longer you stare at it, so it’s best to go ahead and jump right in! Don’t worry about making the first draft absolutely perfect. Instead, just get your ideas on the page and don’t spend too much time thinking about the finer details. Think of this initial writing session as a “brain dump”. Take 15-30 minutes to quickly empty all your thoughts onto the page without worrying about things like grammar, spelling, or sentence structure. You can even use bullet points if that helps. Once you have your ideas on the page, then you can go back and shape them exactly how you want. 

2. Establish your theme 

Now that you’ve got some basic ideas down on the page, it’s time to lock in on a theme. Your theme is a specific angle that reflects the central message of your essay. It can be summarized in a sentence or even a word. For example, let’s say you’re writing about how you had to establish a whole new group of friends when you moved to a new city. The theme for this type of essay would probably be something like “adaptation”. Having a theme will help you stay focused throughout your essay. Since you only have a limited number of words, you can’t afford to go off on tangents that don’t relate to your theme. 

3. Tell a story

A lot of great essays rely on a specific scene or story. Find the personal anecdote relevant to your theme and transfer it to the page. The best way to do this is by using descriptive language. Consult the five senses as you’re setting the scene. What did you see, hear, taste, touch, or smell? How were you feeling emotionally? Using descriptive language can really help your essay come to life. According to UPchieve , a nonprofit that supports low income students, focusing on a particular moment as a “ revised version of a memoir ” is one way to keep readers engaged. 

Related: College essay primer: show, don’t tell  

4. Focus on your opening paragraph

Your opening paragraph should grab your reader’s attention and set the tone for the rest of your essay. In most cases, this is the best place to include your anecdote (if you have one). By leading with your personal story, you can hook your audience from the get-go. After telling your story, you can explain why it’s important to who you are. 

Related:  How to start a scholarship essay (with examples)

5. Use an authentic voice 

Your personal statement reflects who you are, so you should use a tone that represents you. That means you shouldn’t try to sound like someone else, and you shouldn’t use fancy words just to show off. This isn’t an academic paper, so you don’t have to adopt a super formal tone. Instead, write in a way that allows room for your personality to breathe. 

6. Edit, edit, edit…

Once you’re done writing, give yourself some time away from the essay. Try to allow a few days to pass before looking at the essay again with fresh eyes. This way, you’re more likely to pick up on spelling and grammatical errors. You may even get some new ideas and rethink the way you wrote some things. Once you’re satisfied, let someone else edit your essay. We recommend asking a teacher, parent, or sibling for their thoughts before submitting. 

Examples of personal statements 

Sometimes viewing someone else’s work is the best way to generate inspiration and get the creative juices flowing. The following essays are written in response to four different Common App prompts: 

Prompt 1: “Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”

When I was eight years old, I wanted a GameCube very badly. For weeks I hounded my dad to buy me one and finally he agreed. But there was a catch. He’d only get me a GameCube if I promised to start reading. Every day I played video games, I would have to pick up a book and read for at least one hour. At that point in my life, reading was just something I had to suffer through for school assignments. To read for pleasure seemed ludicrous. Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about this proposed agreement. But I figured anything was worth it to get my hands on that shiny new video game console, so I bit the bullet and shook my dad’s hand. Little did I know that I had just made a life-changing deal. 

At first, the required hour of reading was a chore — something I had to do so I could play Mario Kart. But it quickly turned into something more than that. To my complete and utter surprise, I discovered that I actually enjoyed reading. One hour turned into two, two turned into three, and after a while I was spending more time reading than I was playing video games. I found myself captivated by the written word, and I read everything I could get my hands on. Lord of the Rings , Percy Jackson , Goosebumps — you name it. I was falling in love with literature, while my GameCube was accumulating dust in the TV stand. 

Soon enough, reading led to writing. I was beginning to come up with my own stories, so I put pen to paper and let my imagination run wild. It started out small. My first effort was a rudimentary picture book about a friendly raccoon who went to the moon. But things progressed. My stories became more intricate, my characters more complex. I wrote a series of science fiction novellas. I tried my hand at poetry. I was amazed at the worlds I could create with the tip of my pen. I had dreams of becoming an author. 

Then somewhere along the way my family got a subscription to Netflix, and that completely changed the way I thought about storytelling. My nose had been buried in books up until then, so I hadn’t really seen a lot of movies. That quickly changed. It seemed like every other day a pair of new DVDs would arrive in the mail (this was the early days of Netflix). Dark Knight, The Truman Show, Inception, Memento — all these great films were coming in and out of the house. And I couldn’t get enough of them. Movies brought stories to life in a way that books could not. I was head over heels for visual storytelling. 

Suddenly I wasn’t writing novels and short stories anymore. I was writing scripts for movies. Now I wanted to transfer my ideas to the big screen, rather than the pages of a book. But I was still doing the same thing I had always done. I was writing, just in a different format. To help with this process, I read the screenplays of my favorite films and paid attention to the way they were crafted. I kept watching more and more movies. And I hadn’t forgotten about my first love, either. I still cherished books and looked to them for inspiration. By the end of my junior year of high school, I had completed two scripts for short films. 

So why am I telling you all this? Because I want to turn my love of storytelling into a career. I’m not totally sure how to do that yet, but I know I have options. Whether it’s film production, creative writing, or even journalism, I want to find a major that suits my ambitions. Writing has taken me a long way, and I know it can take me even further. As I step into this next chapter of my life, I couldn’t be more excited to see how my craft develops. In the meantime, I should probably get rid of that dusty old GameCube. 

Feedback from admissions professional Bill Jack

Essays don’t always have to reveal details about the student’s intended career path, but one thing I like about this essay is that it gives the reader a sense of the why. Why do they want to pursue storytelling. It also shows the reader that they are open to how they pursue their interest. Being open to exploration is such a vital part of college, so it’s also showing the reader that they likely will be open to new things in college. And, it’s always fun to learn a little bit more about the student’s family, especially if the reader can learn about how the students interacts with their family. 

Prompt 2: “The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?”

I remember my first impression of Irvine: weird. It was foggy, stock-full of greenery and eucalyptus trees, and reminded me of my 5th grade trip to a “science camp” which was located in the San Bernardino mountains. Besides Irvine, that was one of the few places in Southern California where you’d find so many non-palm trees. 

Of course, perhaps my initial impression of Irvine was biased, motivated by a desire to stay in my hometown and a fear of the unknown. While that was true to an extent, Irvine was certainly still a little peculiar. The city itself was based on a “master plan” of sorts, with the location of each of its schools, parks, shops, and arguably its trees having been logically “picked” before the foundation was poured. Even the homes all looked roughly the same, with their beige, stucco walls almost serving as a hallmark of the city itself.

Thus, this perfectly structured, perfectly safe city seemed like a paradise of sorts to many outsiders, my parents included. I was a little more hesitant to welcome this. As I saw it, this was a phony city – believing that its uniformity stood for a lack of personality. My hometown, although not as flawlessly safe nor clean as Irvine, was where most of my dearest memories had occurred. From the many sleepovers at Cindie’s house, to trying to avoid my school’s own version of the “infamous” cheese touch, to the many laughs shared with friends and family, I shed a tear at the prospect of leaving my home.

Moving into the foreign city, remnants of the hostility I held towards Irvine remained. Still dwelling in my memories of the past, I was initially unable to see Irvine as a “home.” So, as I walked into my first-ever Irvine class, being greeted by many kind, yet unfamiliar faces around me, I was unable to recognize that some of those new faces would later become some of my dearest friends. Such negative feelings about the city were further reinforced by newer, harder classes, and more complicated homework. Sitting in the discomfort of this unfamiliar environment, it started to seem that “change” was something not only inevitable, but insurmountable.

As the years went on, however, this idea seemed to fade. I got used to my classes and bike racing through Irvine neighborhoods with my friends, watching the trees that once seemed just a “weird” green blob soon transform into one of my favorite parts of the city. While I kept my old, beloved memories stored, I made space for new ones. From carefully making our way over the narrow creek path next to our school, to the laughs we shared during chemistry class, my new memories made with friends seemed to transform a city I once disliked into one I would miss. 

Through this transformation, I have come to recognize that change, although sometimes intimidating at first, can open the door to great times and meaningful connections. Although Irvine may have once seemed like a strange, “phony” place that I couldn’t wait to be rid of, the memories and laughs I had grown to share there were very real. As I move onto this next part of my life, I hope I can use this knowledge that I have gained from my time in Irvine to make the most of what’s to come. Even if the change may be frightening at first, I have learned to embrace what’s on the other side, whether green or not.

One huge plus to writing an essay that focuses on a place is that you might have it read by someone who has been there. Yet, what’s really helpful about this essay is that even if someone hasn’t been there, a picture is painted about what the place is like.  Admission officers have the hard task of really understanding what the student sees, so the use of adjectives and imagery can really help.  It’s also really clever to see that the green that’s mentioned at the beginning is mentioned at the end.  It’s a nice way to bookend the essay and tie it all together.

Prompt 6: “Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?”

I like getting lost. Not literally, of course, but figuratively. Whether it be in the story of a love song by Taylor Swift, or in the memories brought back by listening to my favorite childhood video game’s background music, I’ve always appreciated music’s ability to transport me to another place, another time, another feeling. 

Alas, I cannot sing, nor have I practiced an instrument since my middle school piano class days. So, perhaps Kurt Vonnegut was right. As he puts it, “Virtually every writer I know would rather be a musician.” While I cannot speak for others, I have certainly not debunked his theory. Writing allows many, including myself, to attempt to mimic the transformative power of music – even if our singing voices aren’t exactly “pleasant.” Just as you can get lost in music, you can do so in a story. Whether it is in George Orwell’s totalitarian Oceania, or Little Women’s Orchard House, the stories outlined in novels can provide an amazing look into the lives and worlds of others, and an escape from the worries and problems of those in your own.

While I am certainly not claiming to have the storytelling abilities of the Orwells or Alcotts before me, I’ve had fun trying to recreate such transformative feelings for others. When I was nine, I attempted to write a story about a little girl who had gotten lost in the woods, only managing to get a couple pages through. As I got older, whenever I was assigned a creative writing assignment in school, I wrote about the same pig, Phil. He was always angry: in my 8th grade science class, Phil was mad at some humans who had harbored his friend captive, and in my 9th grade English class, at a couple who robbed him. 

Thus, when I heard about a writing club being opened at my school in 11th grade, I knew I had to join. I wanted to discern whether writing was just a hobby I picked up now and then, or a true passion. If it was a passion, I wanted to learn as much as possible about how I could improve. Although my high school’s writing club certainly wasn’t going to transform me into Shakespeare, I knew I could learn a lot from it – and I did. The club challenged me to do many things, from writing on the spot, to writing poetry, to even writing about myself, something that’s hopefully coming in handy right now. 

From then on, I started to expand into different types of writing, storing short ideas, skits, and more in appropriately-labeled Google Drive folders. At around the same time, I became interested in classic literature, which largely stemmed from a project in English class. We had been required to choose and read a classic on our own, then present it to the class in an interesting way. While my book was certainly interesting and unique in its own right, nearly everyone else’s novels seemed more captivating to me. So, I took it upon myself to read as many classics as I could the following summer.

One of the books I read during the summer, funnily enough, was Animal Farm, which starred angry pigs, reminiscent of Phil. I had also started going over different ideas in my head, thinking about how I could translate them into words using the new skills I learned. While the writing club helped reaffirm my interest in writing and allowed me to develop new skills, my newfound affinity for classics gave me inspiration to write. Now, I am actually considering writing as part of my future. In this endeavor, I hope that Phil, and the music I inevitably listen to as I write, will accompany me every step of the way.

Admission officers might read 70 (or more!) essays in one day. It’s not uncommon for them to start to blend together and sound similar. This essay might not make you laugh out loud. But, it might make the reader chuckle while reading it thanks to the subtle humor and levity. Being able to incorporate a little humor into your essay (if it is natural for you to do… do not force it), can really be a great way to shed additional light into who you are. Remember, the essay isn’t merely about proving that you can write, but it should also reveal a little bit about your personality.

Prompt 5: “Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.”

I learned a lot of things during the summer I worked at Tropical Smoothie. I discovered the value of hard work. I figured out how to save money. I even mastered the art of the Mango Magic smoothie (the secret is lots of sugar). But most importantly, I learned the power of perspective. And I have Deja to thank for that. 

Deja was my shift supervisor, and one of Tropical Smoothie’s best employees. She was punctual, friendly, and always willing to lend a helping hand. She knew the store from top to bottom, and could handle pretty much any situation thrown her way. She made everyone around her better. On top of all that, she was four months pregnant! I was always impressed by Deja’s work ethic, but I gained an entirely new level of respect for her one day.

It was a Friday night, and Deja and I were working the closing shift together. It was very busy, and Deja and I were the only ones on shift. We managed to get by, but we were exhausted by the end of the evening. After wiping down the counters and mopping the floors, we closed up shop and went our separate ways. I was eager to get home. 

I walked a couple blocks to where I had parked my car. Well, it wasn’t my car actually. It was my dad’s ‘98 Chevy pickup truck, and it was in rough shape. It had no heat or A/C, the leather seats were cracked beyond repair, and the driver’s side door was jammed shut. I sighed as I got in through the passenger side and scooted over to the driver’s seat. The whole reason I was working at Tropical Smoothie was to save up enough money to buy my own car. I was hoping to have something more respectable to drive during my senior year of high school. 

I cranked the old thing up and started on my way home. But soon enough, I spotted Deja walking on the side of the road. There was no sidewalk here, the light was low, and she was dangerously close to the passing cars. I pulled over and offered her a ride. She got in and explained that she was on her way home. Apparently she didn’t have a car and had been walking to work every day. I couldn’t believe it. Here I was complaining about my set of wheels, while Deja didn’t have any to begin with.

We got to talking, and she confessed that she had been having a tough time. You would never know from the way she was so cheerful at work, but Deja had a lot on her plate. She was taking care of her mother, her boyfriend had just lost his job, and she was worried about making ends meet. And of course, she was expecting a baby in five months. On top of all that, she had been walking nearly a mile to and from work every day. The whole thing was a real eye opener, and made me reconsider some things in my own life. 

For one, I didn’t mind driving my dad’s truck anymore. It was banged up, sure, but it was a lot better than nothing. My mindset had changed. I appreciated the truck now. I began to think about other things differently, too. I started making mental notes of all the things in my life I was thankful for — my family, my friends, my health. I became grateful for what I had, instead of obsessing over the things I didn’t. 

I also gained more awareness of the world outside my own little bubble. My encounter with Deja had shown me first-hand that everyone is dealing with their own problems, some worse than others. So I started paying more attention to my friends, family members, and coworkers. I started listening more and asking how I could help. I also gave Deja a ride home for the rest of the summer. 

These are all small things, of course, but I think they make a difference. I realized I’m at my best when I’m not fixated on my own life, but when I’m considerate of the lives around me. I want to keep this in mind as I continue to grow and develop as a person. I want to continue to search for ways to support the people around me. And most importantly, I want to keep things in perspective.

Too often we can be focused on our own problems that we fail to realize that everyone has their own things going on in their lives, too.  This essay showcases how it’s important to put things in perspective, a skill that certainly will prove invaluable in college… and not just in the classroom.  Another reason I like this essay is because it provides deeper insight into the student’s life.  Sure, you might have mentioned in your activities list that you have a job.  But as this essay does, you can show why you have the job in the first place, what your responsibilities are, and more.

A few last tips

We hope these essay examples gave you a bit of inspiration of what to include in your own. However, before you go, we’d like to send you off with a few (personal statement) writing tips to help you make your essays as lovely as the memories and anecdotes they’re based off of. Without further ado, here are some of our best tips for writing your personal statements:

1. Open strong

College admissions officers read many, many essays (think 50+) a day, which can sometimes cause them to start blending together and sounding alike. One way to avoid your essay from simply fading into the background is to start strong. This means opening your essay with something memorable, whether an interesting personal anecdote, a descriptive setting, or anything else that you think would catch a reader’s attention (so long as it’s not inappropriate). Not only might this help college admissions officers better remember your essay, but it will also make them curious about what the rest of your essay will entail.

2. Be authentic

Perhaps most important when it comes to writing personal statement essays is to maintain your authenticity. Ultimately, your essays should reflect your unique stories and quirks that make you who you are, and should help college admissions officers determine whether you’d truly be a good fit for their school or not. So, don’t stress trying to figure out what colleges are looking for. Be yourself, and let the colleges come to you!

3. Strong writing

This one may seem a little obvious, but strong writing will certainly appeal to colleges. Not only will it make your essay more compelling, but it may show colleges that you’re ready for college-level essay writing (that you’ll likely have to do a lot of). Just remember that good writing is not limited to grammar. Using captivating detail and descriptions are a huge part of making your essay seem more like a story than a lecture.

4. Proofread

Last but not least, remember to proofread! Make sure your essay contains no errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. When you’re done proofreading your essay yourself, we would also recommend that you ask a teacher, parent, or other grammatically savvy person to proofread your essay as well.

Final thoughts 

With those in hand, we hope you now have a better sense of how to write your personal statement. While your grades and test scores are important when it comes to college admissions, it’s really your essays that can “make” or “break” your application. 

Although this may make it seem like a daunting task, writing an amazing personal statement essay is all about effort. Thus, so long as you start early, follow the advice listed above, and dedicate your time and effort to it, it’s entirely possible to write an essay that perfectly encapsulates you. Good luck, and happy writing!

Also see:  Scholarships360’s free scholarships search tool

Key Takeaways

• It may take some people longer than others to know what they want to write about, but remember that everyone, including you, has something unique to write about!
• Personal statements should be personal, which means you should avoid being too general and really strive to show off what makes you “you”
• Time and effort are two of the most important things you can put into your personal statement to ensure that it is the best representation of yourself
• Don’t forget to ask people who know you to read your work before you submit; they should be able to tell you better than anyone if you are truly shining through!

Frequently asked questions about writing personal statements 

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

• Applying For Scholarships

7 Steps (And Examples) For Writing a Killer Personal Statement

David Jun 24, 2019

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Personal statements (also known as college essays) are a major part of both college applications and scholarship applications. Unfortunately for some, writing a personal statement isn’t as easy as it sounds. How are you supposed to write a great essay that sets you apart from the competition? How are you supposed to talk positively about yourself without bragging and coming across as arrogant? All of this in only a couple hundred words? These are tough questions, but rest assured, we’ve got answers. This guide will walk you through a 7 step process that will help you write your personal statement, and increase your chances of getting into college and winning scholarships. In addition, at the bottom of this post, we have 7 (!) example templates that you can use to give you inspiration for your own personal statements. Buckle up, here we go!

Personal Statement vs College or Scholarship Essay 

There is a lot of confusion about the differences between personal statements and scholarship essays. Before we begin, it’s important to clarify what a few of these commonly-used terms actually mean.

• Personal statement- an essay you must write for your college applications or scholarship applications to prove that you deserve to be accepted.
• Scholarship essay- this term is used interchangeably with ‘personal statement.’ They are basically the same thing.
• Essay prompt- the essay question or topic that you must write your essay on. This will be provided for you in the application.
• Supplemental essay- an additional essay that you may need to write for an application. This is not always needed and the topic may vary between schools or programs.

Now that we’ve explained the terms, let’s dig in and go through how to write a personal statement in 7 easy steps.

Step 1 – Understand the Different Question Types

Thankfully, colleges and scholarship providers give you some direction on what to write about. Each application contains an essay prompt that you are asked to respond to. While these prompts are open-ended and can be answered in many different ways, they usually fall into one of a few categories. Being able to identify the category an essay prompt belongs to is the first step in formulating an outstanding response. Let’s go through the category types.

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Prompt Category 1: Overcoming a Problem

“You don’t lose if you get knocked down; you lose if you stay down”. Muhammed Ali. “The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing”. Henry Ford. “I get knocked down, but I get up again, no you’re never gonna keep me down”. Chumbawamba. You get the idea 🙂 We all encounter hardship at some point in our lives. This type of essay prompt asks you to identify a problem or failure you faced and to describe how you overcame the problem, and what lessons you were able to learn. It’s worth noting that two essay prompts from The Common App this past year were from this category: Have a look and see:

Common App Question 2

The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Common App Question 4

Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma—anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.

Prompt Category 2  – A Personal History of You

These kinds of questions ask you to pinpoint an important person or event in your life that helped shape you into the person you are today. For these kinds of questions, you should write about a specific formative experience, key event, or key person from your life. It’s better to focus on a specific event or person than to tell your life story. This past year there were 2 questions of this kind in The Common App:

Common App Question 1

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Common App Question 5

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Prompt Category 3 – Openness to New Ideas

Are you open to new ideas? How do you express these ideas, especially when relating to people with different beliefs than your own? This type of prompt aims to see how you engage with new and differing perspectives. One of the questions from The Common App this past year is a great example of this category.

Common App Question 3

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

  Prompt Category 4  – Your Future Goals

What do you want to do when you grow up? Do you want to become an astronaut? A doctor? A content writer? These types of prompts are designed to help the committee understand what you’re interested in and how you plan to apply what you learn in college towards a future career.  While there were no questions like this on The Common App this year, you might still see this kind of essay prompt if you are applying to a specialized program. Here is an example from the University of Southern California

Example “Your Future Goals” prompt:

Describe one example of how you might use design as a future architect. The admission committee will review this statement as a measure of your awareness, determination, and vision.

Prompt Category 5  – Why Do you Want to Go to This School? 

These prompts are pretty much what the title suggests. In this type of personal statement, you should let the committee know why you are interested in that particular school.

Prompt Category 6 – Creative Prompts 

Some schools value creativity, out-of-the-box thinking, and eloquent writing. As a result, you might get an essay prompt that asks you to write unique, and creative personal statements. For example, you might be asked how their school will prepare you for a job that won’t exist by the time you graduate. The University of Chicago, notorious for its strange prompts, has asked “What can actually be divided by zero?”. The key to these prompts is to show off clever, creative, out-of-the-box thinking that relates to what and where you want to study.

Step 2- Brainstorm and Plan

DON’T. OVERLOOK. THIS. STEP. Many students think they’ll finish faster if they skip the planning and just start writing. The truth is that good brainstorming will actually save you time. When you brainstorm effectively you will

• Be able to eliminate prompts that don’t work for you
• Be able to identify prompts that might work for you
• Come up with things you could write about for each prompt
• Be in the best position to start writing a great essay. This is much better than starting to write an essay only to realize that it’s not going to work and you need to start over.

After reading the essay prompt options, and figuring out which category it belongs to, take some time to write down some thoughts and ideas that you could write about. Here are some leading questions you can ask yourself that can help you think about what you can write for your personal statement.

Prompt Category 1: “Overcoming a problem” Brainstorming:

Think of some problems you have encountered in your life. Once you have a problem (or two), think about how you overcame it. If you aren’t happy with how you overcame it then you can focus on what you learned from the experience. Here are some ideas that might help you identify problems you’ve experienced that might be good to write about.

• Loss of a family member or close friend
• An injury or health problem (physical or mental)
• A difficult relationship with a family member, friend, or romantic partner
• Moving to a new city or state, or changing schools
• Revealing a sexual or gender identity to friends or family
• Issues with acceptance, bullying, addiction, body image, or anything similar

Prompt Category 2: “A Personal History of You” Brainstorming:

This category of essay prompts probably requires the biggest amount of brainstorming. These questions want to know about your background, identity, interests, accomplishments, and more. Here are some ideas you can brainstorm that might help you figure out what to write for this type of personal statement:

• When you first became aware of an important identity (for good or bad)
• Your first job
• Volunteer experience
• A class that motivated or inspired you in some way.
• A new hobby
• A memorable victory or failure
• A leadership position you took on
• A family member, friend, teacher, or celebrity who has impacted you.
• A personal goal you achieved
• A quality in yourself you are proud of
• A unique talent you have

Prompt Category 3: “Openness to New Ideas” Brainstorming:

The world is more polarized than ever before. For this reason, universities want to know how you handle differences. For these kinds of questions, it can be helpful to think about:

• Religion or Ethnicity
• Nationality
• Social class
• Country, state, or city of origin
• Sexual or gender identification
• Political beliefs
• If so have you ever spoken about them to anyone? How did it turn out?

Prompt Category 4: “Your Future Goals” Brainstorming:

Future goals tend to be based on what you’d like to study but can also include long-term career goals. It’s important to show determination, vision, and ambition in these kinds of personal statements. For these kinds of questions it can be helpful to think about:

• What you’d like to do professionally when you grow up
• Why you’d like to do it
• What kinds of things do you need to learn in order to get where you want to go?
• How will the things you need to learn help you?
• Does the school have a reputable program?
• Does it have a well-known faculty?
• Does it have state-of-the-art facilities?
• Does it have a great network of graduates who could be mentors?

Prompt Category 5: “Why this School” Brainstorming:

This kind of prompt requires much of the same brainstorming as the previous one.  Ideas to brainstorm should be centered around why you want to attend this particular school. For example:

• Is there a program that makes the school special?
• Is the school known for a talented faculty or professors you want to learn from?
• Is the school affordable?
• Is student life alive and vibrant?
• Does the school offer excellent career services, programs, and facilities?
• Do you want to become involved with a certain sport or activity the school is known for?
• Are you interested in living in the city or town the college is located in?

Prompt Category 6: “Creative Prompts”  Brainstorming (h3)

Since these are so unique, it’s hard to say what should be brainstormed. Consider each question on its own. Try to brainstorm a few creative, out-of-the-box ideas. See which ideas you feel most passionate about and take the writing in that direction.

Step 3: Choose the Best Topic

Maybe, for a “history of you” essay prompt, you’re debating between writing about a few things. Maybe you can’t decide between talking about volunteer experience, a friend who impacted you, or how your identity affected who you became. Now is the time to narrow it down and choose one topic you want to write about. Your topic should be one that you can write an interesting story about, one that highlights your personality, and one that shows a side of yourself that can’t be found in your transcripts or resume. If you aren’t sure which to choose, you can try this tactic of freewriting to see what comes easiest to you. The freewriting strategy recommends writing about a topic in an open way to see which topic is the easiest to write about, and which topics let you talk about the best ideas. If you start coming up with a lot of ideas and things to write about for one of your topics, go with it! If not, move on to your next topic and try freewriting again.

Step 4: Create An Outline 

Now that you have your topic, it’s time to create an outline on how to do it! Like brainstorming, you should not skip this step! Creating an outline is like mapping out your essay. It makes the writing much much easier, and in the long run, will save you lots and lots of time. When you have a good plan, you don’t end up rewriting the first sentence of your essay 100 times. There are two common ways to structure your personal statement – the journey structure and the passion structure. If you are writing about a time of personal growth, you should probably consider the journey structure. The journey structure focuses on the before, during, and after of your personal growth. If you plan to write about something you love doing, we recommend using the passion structure.  The passion structure consists of multiple experiences all related to a single theme (e.g., your passion). This structure works well when you have a number of different experiences across your life that all played a significant role in shaping who you are today. We have a whole separate post that talks about both journey and passion structures for personal statements .

Step 5: Writing Your Personal Statement 

Now that you have your outline, you are ready to finally start writing your personal statement! If you’ve done everything until now, including writing a good outline, this should be quick and easy. Keep in mind that no matter how many words you are asked to write, your personal statement should have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. We’ll quickly go over how to write each one

Step 5a – Introduction Paragraph

The introduction is crucial. It is your chance to grab the committee’s attention and convince them to keep reading.  Your introduction should contain three things:

• An attention-grabbing first sentence (a hook)
• A short explanation for what you will talk about in your essay
• The thesis statement in which you address the essay prompt.

Your introduction should be short, sweet, and to the point. Some ideas you can use for a hook are:

• A rhetorical question
• A memorable quote
• A quick story
• A surprising fact
• A strong surprising statement

If you need more detailed guidance, this post talks about how to write a scholarship essay introduction 

5b) How to Write Body Paragraphs

This depends on so many things. It depends on if you decide to use a journey structure, a passion structure or something else entirely. For that reason we’ll simply give you some tips to keep in mind while writing the body of your essay:

Personality

What makes you unique? What makes you, well…you? SAT scores and grades aren’t relevant here. What can you tell the committee about your character? What are some of your achievements? What are some of your goals for the future? The personal statement is the place to give readers an insight into who you are as a person aside from your test scores. Use this space to charm and impress.

Authenticity

It will help you charm and impress if you are honest and genuine. Write about what you hold near and dear to your heart, and not what you think readers are expecting to hear from you. Also, speak in your own voice that shows who you are! Don’t look for big synonyms because it makes you sound smarter. Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.

Concrete Examples

Stories and examples are powerful devices that help people remember who they are. If you are passionate about animals, writing about your volunteer experience in an animal shelter is much more powerful than writing about how you love animals. Committees have to read through hundreds of scholarship applications. Examples and anecdotes will help your essay stand out. Better to prove it than to say it.

Know your Reader

If you are writing a personal statement for a scholarship, your goals should also align with the mission of the scholarship committee. The same can be said of a unique school or program. To understand the mission, you’ll have to get to know the organization. You can do this by browsing their website.

Stay within the required word limit. If the maximum word limit is 500, don’t write 800 words. This is a sure-fire way to get you disqualified or to have the committee stop reading after about 500.

5c) How to End your Personal Statement

Your conclusion needs to give the committee one last impression of who you are. It should leave them remembering you. Your conclusion should do these three things:

• Wrap up your story by summing up your main points
• Clarify your thesis in a new and fresh way
• Answer the question: Why is all this important?

Some ideas on how to answer the question: why is this important

• A big thought
• Hope for the future
• A call to action

If you need more guidance, read this post that talks about how to end a scholarship essay

Step 6: Edit Your Statement!

Once you finish writing, it’s super important to read the whole thing and to edit it before you turn it in. Editing your work means reading it through several times until you are confident that it sounds good and that there are no mistakes in it. Before you do this, however, it’s a good idea to take at least a 12-hour break from the computer. Giving yourself a break will give your brain and your eyes some time to relax. You will be fresher and in a better state of mind to catch mistakes if you give yourself some time to breathe. When you start editing, read your essay from top to bottom. Read it several times.  Pay extra close attention to spelling, grammar, punctuation, capital letters, and sentence structure. Your personal statement is a reflection of you and your standard of work. If you submit an essay with mistakes in it, that says far more about who you are than anything you write in your statement. Submitting work with mistakes may give the committee the impression that you are lazy or careless. You obviously don’t want to do that. Once you’ve read everything over everything and are confident that it’s flawless, have a family member, friend, teacher, or counselor look over it to make sure you didn’t miss anything. An extra pair of eyes can give a fresh perspective, and help you catch anything you may have missed.

Step 7 – Hit the Submit button!

Finally! It’s time to submit your essay. Great job putting in all the hard work. Go buy yourself a cupcake or treat yourself to something nice. You earned it.

Example Personal Statements

Need some extra inspiration? We’ve got 7(!) sample personal statements that you can use to give you ideas and ensure you are on the right track. Each of the 7 personal statements below is for a different kind of prompt, as was categorized above. Some of the prompts are taken from this year’s Common App questions.

Prompt Category 1 – Overcoming a Problem Sample Essay

Common App Essay Prompt 2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?  When I was a sophomore in high school, my parents decided that it was a good idea for me to spend less time on the couch playing video games and more time moving my body. They encouraged me to try out for the high school swimming team. I wasn’t particularly talented at the sport, but I did have a number of childhood swim lessons up my sleeve. It might also be a good time to mention that I went to a small private high school that accepted everyone onto their sports teams, so I didn’t have much to lose  Another thing worth mentioning is that I am from Minneapolis where we spend many winter days in below zero weather. Jumping into a not-heated-enough indoor pool at 6 am, 3 days a week isn’t exactly enticing. But, for one reason or another and against all odds, I didn’t put up much of a fight. I guess I knew deep down inside that it would be good for me to start doing something else with my life besides sitting behind a computer screen all day long.  As expected, I was accepted onto the swimming team but at a big cost- I was by far the weakest link. I seemed to overlook this minor detail and didn’t foresee the toll that it would take on me and on others. I quickly realized that I couldn’t just dance around the pool swimming like a drowning dog. I had a team that was counting on me, and in some weird way, I was counting on myself. Despite being majorly out of my comfort zone, I started to go to the gym a few times a week after school to increase my strength. I worked hard during swim practice and even put in some hours on the weekend. I had never pushed myself like that before, and I was really proud to see what I was capable of.  I may not have gone home with any medals, but by the end of the year, I had increased my speed and had mastered the butterfly stroke. It’s the little things in life, right? My parents also seemed pleased by the fact that I was no longer glued to the couch every day after school. I weirdly found joy in the sport, which was the last thing that I expected to find. I am much more open to trying new things now and have a lot more confidence in myself. 

Prompt category 2 – A Personal History of You Sample Essay

Common app question 1: “Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.” It was April of my freshman year of college and all my friends were heading to Cancun, Mexico for the quintessential college Spring break trip. I, on the other hand, was heading to Haiti, to volunteer with Habitat for Humanity for 7 days to rebuild homes that had been destroyed in the hurricane. For some reason that my friends found to be odd, the thought of my pasty white skin frying on the hot Mexican sand alongside hundreds of other college students didn’t quite appeal to me.  I have always been a woman of my own, and have never been one to follow in the footsteps of others. Sometimes that has gotten me into trouble, but more often than not it has made me a strong and independent young woman who isn’t afraid to stand out and be different.  I boarded the plane with my 12 other volunteer mates, with no expectations. I had never volunteered abroad, nor had I ever traveled alone without my family members. Not to mention, I was the only college freshman on the trip. I was looking forward to the wisdom that my elder companions were to impart on me.  Needless to say, the volunteer trip completely changed my outlook on life. While my friends returned with stories of drinking and partying (I’d hardly call that a story), I returned with the deep connections I’d formed with my volunteer mates and a passion for helping communities overcome natural disasters. After coming back from that trip, I decided to double major in emergency management and psychology. It is my dream to one day hold a position in the Red Cross. For now, I will study and absorb as much information as I can, and continue to volunteer around my local community. And, if the opportunity arises for me to take my knowledge and skills abroad, I will gladly do so again . 

Prompt category 3 – Openness to New Ideas Sample Essay

Common App Question 3 – Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?  My mom always told me that happiness is right under your nose. Growing up, despite my privileges, I always dreamed of being elsewhere. My house wasn’t big enough, my clothes weren’t nice enough and my town was boring. I would sift through National Geographic magazines at the library, dreaming of laying on a tropical beach in Bora Bora or walking the cobbled streets of Lisbon. I was always searching for whatever else was out there. I promised myself that as soon as I finished high school, I would skip this boring excuse of a town and get out of here to see the world and find my true calling. Once I started college, I used my newfound freedom to my advantage. The long breaks during school allotted me plenty of time to start seeing the world. I worked hard during the semester, in both my studies and my nannying job, and was able to fund my travels around the world. I saw the Eiffel Tower, walked on the Beijing wall, and was bewildered by the northern lights in Norway. During my junior year of college, I spent six months studying abroad in Barcelona. I binged on paella and Spanish omelets during the week, and on pasta in Italy and schnitzel in Germany over the weekends.  After the semester was over, I extended my visit and did a homestay with a local family in northern Spain. I became part of their family that summer, doing chores around the house and running to buy bread from the local bakery.  Despite loving the experience, after a while,  I found myself missing the sub-par greek salads from the local diner in my hometown and the familiar faces I’d see when I went for Sunday morning bagels. I knew then and there that I was ready to come home.  I returned home with a newfound realization of how massive the world is and how much of it I want to see. But, I also returned finally to understanding what my mom meant when she told me all these years that happiness is right under my nose. True happiness is found when you’re around people who love and care about you. I will definitely keep traveling the world, but I won’t be taking my home for granted any time soon.

Prompt Category 4 – “Your Future Goals” Sample Essay

Describe how you might use what you learn in university in a future career. The admission committee will review this statement as a measure of your awareness, determination, and vision. My name is Billy Meijers and I am a senior at York Secondary School. I plan to pursue my Bachelor’s degree in early childhood education. After I finish my bachelor’s degree, my plan and hope is to work as an elementary school teacher in Provo.  I have always known that I wanted to work as a teacher, thanks to my passion for working with children and teaching others. Throughout high school, I volunteered at a local homeless shelter with children and also worked as a day camp counselor during my summer vacations. While teaching and working with children has always come naturally to me (which of course is a strong asset to have as a teacher) these qualities are not enough to make you a successful teacher. A teacher needs to know how to manage their classroom, develop curriculum, and work with a diverse group of students who come with their own unique needs. My desire to develop these skills is what is leading me to study early childhood education in college.  I am happy to say that I have already learned so much in high school. I am fascinated by the childhood development and psychology courses I have taken thus far. It’s so important to understand the psychology of young children to be able to respond to their needs and teach them. Learning about cognitive and behavioral psychology will help me within the classroom setting and I’ll be able to mold my curriculum using these skills.   I can’t wait to continue my studies and acquire more skills. I still have so much to learn about planning curriculum and managing classrooms. Next year I plan to start an internship at a local elementary school as a teacher’s assistant. With any luck, the next 4 years will prepare me to be an amazing teacher where I will be able to make a real difference in the world! 

Prompt Category 5 – “Why This School” Sample Essay 

There are thousands of universities and colleges. Why are you interested in attending Michigan? I always thought that I would follow in my family’s footsteps and go to George Washington University. When I say family, I am referring to my entire family- grandparents, parents, older siblings, cousins, you name it. I was the typical three-year-old child decked out in GW attire from head to toe, and you better believe that there is plenty of photo evidence to prove it.  I never really gave my future much thought, because it seemed set in stone that I would pursue my bachelor’s degree at GW University. My parents were so excited and never shied away from talking about it. However, everything changed for me when I visited the University of Michigan during my junior year of high school with my theater company.  I met several students in the theater department and connected with them right away. They told me all about the program and it instantly felt like a great fit. I had the privilege of seeing several plays during the weekend and my eyes glowed with both admiration and envy. As I looked up at that stage I knew wholeheartedly that that was where I wanted to be.  Upon returning home, I was surprised to find my mind wandering, dreaming of starring in plays at the University of Michigan. How would my family react if I didn’t carry on the GW legacy? I was so scared to share the news with my family and felt a gut-wrenching feeling for betraying our family tradition. But I couldn’t lie to myself- it was so obvious where my heart was.  I shared it with my family and they took the news better than I thought. They were sad that I don’t want to go to GW, but they want me to follow my dreams.  I would be honored to study theater at the University of Michigan. I have so much to learn from the excellent instructors and fellow students, and a lot to share with others. 

Prompt Category 6 – “Creative Prompt” Sample Essay 

By the time you graduate from college, there will be jobs that don’t exist today. Describe one of them and how The University of Chicago might prepare you for it. With technology growing what feels like a million miles per second, and new inventions being created on the regular, it’s hard to know exactly what the future holds. The Institute for the Future predicted that 85% of jobs that students will perform in 2030 don’t exist yet. So, is there even a point in going to university if you’ll end up working in a job that doesn’t exist yet?  Absolutely! University can prepare you to work in a variety of fields, and not only for one specific job. In fact, because the future is so unknown, the best thing you can do for yourself and your future is to get a college degree. Let’s take for example social media influencers. This is a new job that has only become mainstream over the last several years. Many social media influencers went to college and pursued degrees of all sorts. While they may not be directly using the degree they got in college, they definitely gained a lot of valuable skills from their studies, which helped contribute to their success today. College teaches many invaluable skills like critical thinking, writing, and communication. It also teaches you soft skills like teamwork, learning how to live independently, learning how to manage your schedule, and much much more.  Let’s imagine how university courses can prepare anyone for jobs a hypothetical job that doesn’t yet exist. With the heavy presence of social media and technology in all of our lives, you can imagine that many people are rapidly becoming addicted to their devices. Introducing the “digital detox therapist-” a career that is likely to exist by 2030, if not before. While there is currently no academic path to becoming a digital detox therapist, there are plenty of psychology and marketing courses that can prepare students for this career. Digital detox psychologists would need to have a background in addiction, cognitive psychology, and social psychology. They will also need to understand consumerism and marketing. As you can see, while there is no direct way to study for this career, college can still benefit you in the long run and make you a sought-after candidate for this hypothetical career and presumably many others.

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How to Write a Personal History

Last Updated: December 28, 2023 Approved

This article was co-authored by Pete Canalichio . Pete Canalichio is a Brand Strategist, Licensing Expert, and Founder of BrandAlive. With nearly 30 years of experience at companies such as Coca-Cola and Newell Brands, he specializes in helping brands find the most authentic parts of their story to build a brand strategy. Pete holds an MBA from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and a BS in Physics from the United States Naval Academy. In 2006, he won an MVP Award from Newell Brands for his contributions to their Global Licensing department. He’s also penned the award-winning book, Expand, Grow, Thrive. There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. In this case, 90% of readers who voted found the article helpful, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 176,996 times.

Writing your personal history is something that you may do either as part of an application or as a literary endeavor. In a personal statement for an application, you will need to provide information about history that proves you have the knowledge and experience necessary to perform certain tasks. A personal history, written for your own enjoyment or for publication, will relate your life’s story, requiring some research and a much larger time commitment. With some preparation and a little time management, you will be able to write a strong personal history that will impress an application committee or entertain readers.

Writing a Personal Statement for an Application

• For example, if you are applying to get into medical school and a graduate program in English somewhere else, you will want to avoid spending a lot of time highlighting your extensive medical knowledge in the English application or your remarkable writing skills in the medical school application. Although a review committee might be impressed that you have such diverse interests, they also want to make sure that you have the requisite knowledge to be in the program.

• However, this does not mean that your statement should be formulaic or bland. Follow the guidelines, but give your readers something exciting or memorable to take away from your letter.
• In general medical and law schools ask for a more open-ended personal statement. One the other hand, business and graduate schools tend to ask specific questions. However, each application is different and has it owns guidelines, so be sure to follow those.

• Avoid going off on tangents. Consider whether or not a certain topic fits in your overall theme. If it does not, do not include it.

• Briefly introduce yourself and then provide the framework that the rest of the essay will follow. Allude to things you will discuss later, but do not give it all away.
• Avoid clichés like “my names is Steve and I’m applying to join your program” or “Allow me to introduce myself…”

• For example, if you are applying for medical school, list any experience you have volunteering in a clinic or specific pre-med courses that you found particularly interesting.
• If you are applying for graduate school, be sure to discuss any relevant scholars you like or books you find particularly interesting.

• Avoid clichés like “thank you for taking the time to consider my application” or “It is my sincere hope that you will grant me the opportunity to attend your school.”

• You can also ask someone else to proofread your essay for you. It is often hard for most people to adequately proofread their own writing, so finding someone to read your statement will likely make it better.

Creating Your Own Personal History

• Some examples of important documents might be your birth certificate, photographs or videos of you, correspondence (letters and emails) with other people, and old social media posts.

• Many cellphones have a recording function that will help you save your interviews.

• Try creating a spreadsheet that lists all of the sources that you would like to use. This will help you find them quickly and not lose them.

• You can organize your story thematically to emphasize important interests or life lessons. For example, if you want to highlight your skills as an athlete, you may only mention the life events that are relevant to that subject.
• You can also chronologically format your history to tell a sequential story. Start with the earliest relevant event and move forward in time from there.
• Ultimately, it is up to you how you organize your story, find a style that makes sense and tells your history.

• Try setting a timer for 45 minutes and write until it goes off. Then, take a 15 minute break and start writing again once those 15 minutes are up. Repeat this process as long as you feel fresh and engaged in your writing.
• Find a writing schedule that works best for you.

• If you are publishing your personal history, you will have to work with an editor to get your manuscript ready for publishing. In this circumstance, the editor’s comments often need to be addressed in the manuscript.

Developing Good Writing Habits

• A journal might be useful for freewriting. It will allow you to jot ideas down if you are on the go.

• Keep your documents in a digital spreadsheet for quick reference. You could also organize them in folders if that is more convenient.

• Consider sharing your outline or timeline with someone who you believe will give you good feedback.

• Avoid loud and busy spaces. These can be audibly and visibly distracting. Although it might be cool to work in a coffee shop, it is not an ideal place to write.

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Thanks for reading our article! If you'd like to learn more about writing a personal history, check out our in-depth interview with Pete Canalichio .

• ↑ https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/owlprint/642/
• ↑ http://www.williamcronon.net/researching/documents.htm
• ↑ https://terpconnect.umd.edu/~jklumpp/comm712/narrative.html
• ↑ https://www.inc.com/glenn-leibowitz/8-simple-writing-strategies-that-helped-stephen-king-sell-350-million-books.html
• ↑ http://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/authors/pw-select/article/59767-why-all-self-publishers-need-a-good-editor.html
• ↑ https://www.grinnell.edu/sites/default/files/documents/Writing-Personal-Statements-for-Scholarship-Applications.pdf
• ↑ http://writing2.richmond.edu/writing/wweb/outline.html
• ↑ https://lifehacker.com/how-to-stick-to-a-writing-schedule-1653234644

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UC Davis Graduate Studies

Admissions essays.

UC Davis requires that applicants to all graduate programs submit both a Statement of Purpose and a Personal History and Diversity Statement. Each essay can be no longer than 4,000 characters (including spaces). To allow prospective applicants the opportunity to prepare these essays before starting the application, the prompts for each essay are listed below.

Statement of Purpose

Please highlight your academic preparation and motivation; interests, specializations and career goals; and fit for pursuing graduate study at UC Davis.

• preparation and motivation may include your academic and research experiences that prepare you for this graduate program (for example: coursework, employment, exhibitions, fieldwork, foreign language proficiency, independent study, internships, laboratory activities, presentations, publications, studio projects, teaching, and travel or study abroad) and motivation or passion for graduate study.
• interests, specializations, and career goals may include your research interests, disciplinary subfields, area/s of specialization, and professional objectives.
• fit may include how your preparation, experiences, and interests match the specific resources and characteristics of your graduate program at UC Davis. Please identify specific faculty within your desired graduate program with whom you would like to work and how their interests match your own.

Personal History and Diversity Statement

The University of California Davis, a public institution, is committed to supporting the diversity of the graduate student body and promoting equal opportunity in higher education. This commitment furthers the educational mission to serve the increasingly diverse population and educational needs of California and the nation. Both the Vice Provost of Graduate Education/Dean of Graduate Studies and the University of California affirm that diversity is critical to promoting lively intellectual exchange and the variety of ideas and perspectives essential to advancing higher education and research. Our graduate students contribute to the global pool of future scholars and academic leaders, thus high value is placed on achieving a diverse graduate student body to support the University of California’s academic excellence. We invite you to include in this statement how you may contribute to the diversification of graduate education and the UC Davis community.

The purpose of this essay is to get to know you as an individual and potential graduate student. Please describe how your personal background informs your decision to pursue a graduate degree. You may include any educational, familial, cultural, economic, or social experiences, challenges, community service, outreach activities, residency and citizenship, first-generation college status, or opportunities relevant to your academic journey; how your life experiences contribute to the social, intellectual, or cultural diversity within a campus community and your chosen field; or how you might serve educationally underrepresented and underserved segments of society with your graduate education. This essay should complement but not duplicate the content in the Statement of Purpose.

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How to Write a Personal Essay for Your College Application

What does it take to land in the “accept” (instead of “reject”) pile?

How can you write an essay that helps advance you in the eyes of the admissions officers and makes a real impression? Here are some tips to get you started.

• Start early.  Do not leave it until the last minute. Give yourself time when you don’t have other homework or extracurriculars hanging over your head to work on the essay.
• Keep the focus narrow.  Your essay does not have to cover a massive, earth-shattering event. Some people in their teens haven’t experienced a major life event. Some people have. Either way, it’s okay.
• Be yourself.  Whether writing about a painful experience or a more simple experience, use the narrative to be vulnerable and honest about who you are. Use words you would normally use. Trust your voice and the fact that your story is interesting enough in that no one else has lived it.
• Be creative.  “Show, don’t tell,” and that applies here — to an extent. The best essays typically do both. You can help your reader see and feel what you are describing by using some figurative language throughout your piece.
• Make a point. As you finish your final body paragraphs ask yourself “So what?” This will help you hone in on how to end your essay in a way that elevates it into a story about an insight or discovery you made about yourself, rather than just being about an experience you had.

Where your work meets your life. See more from Ascend here .

We’ve all heard about the dreaded “college essay,” the bane of every high school senior’s existence. This daunting element of the college application is something that can create angst for even the most accomplished students.

• AA Amy Allen is a writer, educator, and lifelong learner. Her freelance writing business,  All of the Write Words , focuses on providing high school students with one-on-one feedback to guide them through the college application process and with crafting a thoughtful personal essay. A dedicated poet, Amy’s work has also been published in several journals including  Pine Row Press ,  Months to Years,  and  Atlanta Review .

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Tips for Writing the Berkeley Goldman Personal History Statement

posted on October 6, 2016

Let’s first look at what the University of California – Berkeley, Goldman School of Public Policy’s website tells us about the Personal History Statement. This is a bit different from what other schools request.  

Personal History Statement (submitted with online application). Please describe how your personal background informs your decision to pursue a graduate degree . Please include information on how you have overcome barriers to access in higher education, evidence of how you have come to understand the barriers faced by others , evidence of your academic service to advance equitable access to higher education for women, racial minorities, and individuals from other groups that have been historically underrepresented in higher education, evidence of your research focusing on underserved populations or related issues of inequality, or evidence of your leadership among such groups. There is no page length requirement for the Personal History Statement. However, this essay is generally 1-2 pages, double-spaced. [ Source ]

Tackle the prompt:

The first part of the prompt is somewhat vague and standard, focusing on “your personal background” and how it “informs your decision to pursue a graduate degree”, so let’s first focus on the rest of the prompt. They very specifically want to hear about barriers you’ve overcome and your understanding of barriers for others. This is likely easier for some of you than others.

If your personal story includes being the first person in your family to go to college, for example, definitely go there. If you haven’t had such obvious barriers, you’ll need to think a bit harder. If you recognize yourself as coming from a high degree of privilege, especially with respect to your access to education, you’ll do better to acknowledge that and name it rather than reaching for imaginary barriers. The admissions committee will see right through that. In this case, focus on the next part of the prompt, about your understanding of barriers faced by others. If you can relate that back to a comparison of your experience, the Statement will read more personal, which is generally a good thing as this is a part of the application (along with your Policy Statement of Purpose)  where you get to establish yourself as a three-dimensional person.

Soul Search:

Before you start writing, do a bit of thinking–even soul-searching–about privilege, barriers, underrepresentation of some populations, etc. What is your personal relationship to these terms and what they represent? What have you done to work for change? The program has a clear focus, so you want to make sure you not only have the tools at the ready to write a compelling Personal History Statement, but also that you truly are a good fit, which is unlikely if you’re unable to write this Statement somewhat easily.

Essay Length: No more than 2 pages

While Goldman says there is not length requirement, since they say most are 1-2 pages, double-spaced this is an indication that they expect your Statement to be double-spaced, and you want to cut down your five-page essay to no more than three pages if 1-2 is the average. Shorter is generally better provided you’re not cutting out critical details or stories, but I’ve found most essays can be cut down by at least 20% to become stronger, more concise pieces. Remember the person reviewing your Statement reads many of these at a time, so the easier it is to skim and get the gist quickly, the more compelling your case to a tired, overworked admissions committee member.

Get an outside perspective:

As always with essays, get at least one outside, objective set of eyes on it to convey the main points they get from it and to assure you’re getting across what you intend.  The Art of Applying is glad to help with this! After content, we read for typos or grammatical errors you may have missed, since you never want an otherwise impressive essay to be tarnished by mistakes. Admissions committee members can easily interpret these mistakes as you being a sloppy candidate who doesn’t care enough to proofread. Start Early: Finally, the best advice I can give on this one is to start early. Don’t put this off until the last minute since this is one that isn’t a given for what you’ll write. Set aside time to think, to brainstorm with a friend, and leave plenty of time to review and edit. You’ve got this!

Let’s make your grad school dreams come true!

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Reader Interactions

October 10, 2016 at 1:28 pm

l would love to study at your college please

January 9, 2017 at 3:26 pm

Hi Tawanda, The Art of Applying is not a college; it is a business that helps people apply to graduate schools. 🙂

December 5, 2016 at 8:50 pm

Thank you for the insight. Greatly appreciated.

August 27, 2017 at 8:12 am

Thank you for the advise! Although, I am not clear whether the essay HAS to be related to barriers to higher education or it can be broader. The last sentence of the prompt states the following: “…evidence of your research focusing on underserved populations or related issues of inequality, or evidence of your leadership among such groups.” Would you say that social volunteer work, unrelated to education would fit into de prompt scope? Thank you!

November 28, 2018 at 11:15 pm

Thank you, a few words more valuable than 10pages of a blog post!

October 7, 2019 at 4:13 am

Kaneisha, I would also love to study at your colege please

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The Personal History Statement helps reviewers learn more about you as a whole person and as a potential graduate student. This may include relevant details on community service, leadership roles, participation in diverse teams, and significant barriers that you overcame to attend graduate school.

The Purdue University Graduate School application allows applicants to select up to three graduate campuses and/or majors per application.  If you are applying to a 2nd or 3rd choice program, you are only required to submit one personal history statement with your application. Be sure your personal history statement is is all-inclusive, and supports your suitability for your enrollment in all the graduate programs listed on your application. 

Required of all applicants:

• Describe how your background and life experiences contribute to your ability to be both persistent and resourceful in graduate school.
• Describe how your life experiences have prepared you to contribute to an academic community where scholars with diverse research interests, abilities, backgrounds, and experiences are supported, respected, and valued.
• Please address concerns that you may have that your academic record does not reflect your true capabilities and discuss mitigating factors that have affected your academic record. Reviewers will be interested in understanding your accomplishments relative to your opportunities.

The Academic Statement of Purpose and the Personal History Statement are two of the most important documents in your graduate school application. The documents should be concise, clear, and free of spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors. You should have others review your document for content, organization, and to ensure that there are no errors. Information in the Personal History Statement should complement but not duplicate information in the Academic Statement of Purpose.

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Writing a Personal History Paper: Effective Topic Ideas

A personal history essay is simply a task to write about yourself. But it is not as easy as posting pics on Instagram. To create a killer personal history statement, one needs to know and keep in mind the aims the paper targets. Then, it is required to present only those facts from life that will impress the target audience and achieve the set goals.

This kind of document is written when one applies to college or university in general, or when one needs to get a scholarship. Often, students from abroad write about their life, experiences, strengths, and aims in order to participate in a foreign educational program. This task is especially difficult for international students because they have to submit essays in English. These documents should be free from grammar and spelling errors, as well as inappropriate expressions. At the same time, one should adhere to the traditional essay structure. It is no surprise that this work is challenging for many learners. Thus, it is a wise decision to hire a professional writer. For those bold enough to create a personal history essay on their own, our academic writing experts have provided the following helpful tips and ideas on what to include in the paper.

What Is a Personal History Statement?

A personal history statement is actually a short and concise summary of who you are. Specifically, you will want to include cultural, social, academic, and some personal experiences that helped you grow into the person you are now. Moreover, you should definitely draw a connection between your background and your academic performance as well as your willingness to pursue an academic degree. The main purpose of this personal history essay is to help the school or admission committee better understand how your background and current habits as well as your lifestyle and life philosophy can help you contribute to the college and add diversity to the studying process.

If you need to submit a personal history paper but you are not sure how to start or organize it, keep in mind that you can have a look at the samples provided on our company’s website. All personal history statements were written by professional writers and they contain information on how one’s experience of working or studying in a multicultural environment would help them promote diversity in the workplace or in the new place of education.

Some Features of Writing a Personal History Statement

• you should briefly reflect on your background;
• you need to highlight the link between the decisions you have made in life and your cultural, historical, family, personal or academic background;
• you should keep in mind the aim of your paper: a personal history statement essay is written in addition to your application essay with an aim of helping the admission committee to know you better;
• you need to demonstrate how you can promote diversity.

To make sure you are successful at delivering the message of your personal history across, make sure that you adhere to the proper structure of this type of writing. When you have a logical and concise structure, your readers will better connect with your story. If you have already looked through some of the paper samples found on our website, you might have probably noticed that a personal history statement has three main sections:

• An attention-grabbing introduction. In the opening paragraph, you have to briefly introduce who you are and provide a statement of importance why you are actually writing this personal history of yours.
• Relevant and logical main body. Be sure to add relevant information about yourself. Do not try to provide a positive impression and list only your strengths. Each person has weaknesses as well, and each person has encountered some failures in life. So, do not pretend as if you have none of these. Be honest about yourself and try to connect all your achievements or failures to specific life experience. Moreover, focus on your hobbies and interests and mention the academic goals you might want to persevere. Make sure you present yourself as a successful candidate for the admission program.
• A strong and logical conclusion. Make sure you provide a powerful conclusion, where you sum up the whole of your discussion and reflections. Avoid clichéd phrases but rather highlight the most important elements.

If you want to succeed in your personal history statement writing, keep in mind that the paper should actually be your concise personal portrait. Focus on your strengths as well as hard and soft skills, which will help you achieve success in the future and move up the desired career ladder. Be sure to mention why you have decided to enroll in a specific program. What is even more important, make the text of your personal history essay readable and comprehensible. If you are lost in ideas what information to include in your writing or if you do not know what topic to choose, have a look at the following ideas provided by our company’s expert writers:

• Write about the etymology of your name. What does it mean? Does it bring you some specific personal qualities?
• Where were you born? Do you still live in that place? How much do you like it?
• Write about your mother and her influence on your life.
• Write about your father and how he has influenced you as a person.
• If you have siblings, write about them and how they have impacted you, specifically your behavior, your life choices, etc.
• What do you remember about the surrounding where you grew?
• What was the house like where you lived as a child?
• What was your hobby when you were a child?
• What was your favorite place where you liked to be as a child?
• Did you have many friends as a child? Who were they? How did they influence you?
• Did you use to travel much when you were a child? What is the role of traveling in your life now?
• What was your typical day like when you were a teenager?
• Describe your standard workday.
• Did you enjoy studying in high school?
• W hat event was the most significant for you in high school ?
• Write about your grandmother and your grandfather and how they impacted you.
• Write about your uncles and aunts and some other relatives if you happened to spend sufficient time with them.
• What is the most striking school memory of yours?
• What are the remarkable character traits of your favorite teacher?
• Your favorite sports activities throughout your life.
• Can you drive? Who taught you?
• What did you like to eat when you were a child?
• Name the most memorable birthday celebration.
• How do you usually celebrate your birthday now?
• Name your favorite memory of a holiday. What holiday was that?
• What is the most challenging aspect about growing up?
• What is the best part in becoming an adult?
• What did your parents do for a living when you were a child?
• When did you leave home for the first time? What can you say about this experience of yours?
• What was your first job?
• What is your favorite story that you have heard from your family or close relatives?
• Do you have an example of a story that has been passed through generations?
• What were you most proud of when you were a child?

After you have put the last full stop in your personal history statement, set it aside, and relax. Take a break before editing it. As you were using a computer to craft this document, your eyes need rest. Otherwise, you may not notice even the mistakes that MS Word has detected. Your mind also needs some rest. After a significant break, you will be able to find better ways to communicate some of your ideas. Do not forget to save your document before you step away from your PC. Then, come back and edit your work. Substitute all verbose expressions with short phrases. Double-check the paper for spelling, grammar, punctuation, word-choice and sentence structure. It should be flawless. The way your document is written also resembles who you are. You cannot claim that you are attentive to detail in case the essay suffers from typos. Fortunately, solid writing companies provide such additional services as formatting, editing, and proofreading. Thus, keep in mind that you can always ask our writers for help. Lastly, do not be afraid of a submission committee. You’ll do great!

You may find it interesting:

How to Write Your First Fantasy Novel Cause and Effect Essay

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Writing the Personal Statement

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This handout provides information about writing personal statements for academic and other positions.

The personal statement, your opportunity to sell yourself in the application process, generally falls into one of two categories:

1. The general, comprehensive personal statement:

This allows you maximum freedom in terms of what you write and is the type of statement often prepared for standard medical or law school application forms.

2. The response to very specific questions:

Often, business and graduate school applications ask specific questions, and your statement should respond specifically to the question being asked. Some business school applications favor multiple essays, typically asking for responses to three or more questions.

Questions to ask yourself before you write:

• What's special, unique, distinctive, and/or impressive about you or your life story?
• What details of your life (personal or family problems, history, people or events that have shaped you or influenced your goals) might help the committee better understand you or help set you apart from other applicants?
• When did you become interested in this field and what have you learned about it (and about yourself) that has further stimulated your interest and reinforced your conviction that you are well suited to this field? What insights have you gained?
• How have you learned about this field—through classes, readings, seminars, work or other experiences, or conversations with people already in the field?
• If you have worked a lot during your college years, what have you learned (leadership or managerial skills, for example), and how has that work contributed to your growth?
• What are your career goals?
• Are there any gaps or discrepancies in your academic record that you should explain (great grades but mediocre LSAT or GRE scores, for example, or a distinct upward pattern to your GPA if it was only average in the beginning)?
• Have you had to overcome any unusual obstacles or hardships (for example, economic, familial, or physical) in your life?
• What personal characteristics (for example, integrity, compassion, and/or persistence) do you possess that would improve your prospects for success in the field or profession? Is there a way to demonstrate or document that you have these characteristics?
• What skills (for example, leadership, communicative, analytical) do you possess?
• Why might you be a stronger candidate for graduate school—and more successful and effective in the profession or field than other applicants?
• What are the most compelling reasons you can give for the admissions committee to be interested in you?

General advice

Answer the questions that are asked

• If you are applying to several schools, you may find questions in each application that are somewhat similar.
• Don't be tempted to use the same statement for all applications. It is important to answer each question being asked, and if slightly different answers are needed, you should write separate statements. In every case, be sure your answer fits the question being asked.

Tell a story

• Think in terms of showing or demonstrating through concrete experience. One of the worst things you can do is to bore the admissions committee. If your statement is fresh, lively, and different, you'll be putting yourself ahead of the pack. If you distinguish yourself through your story, you will make yourself memorable.

Be specific

• Don't, for example, state that you would make an excellent doctor unless you can back it up with specific reasons. Your desire to become a lawyer, engineer, or whatever should be logical, the result of specific experience that is described in your statement. Your application should emerge as the logical conclusion to your story.

Find an angle

• If you're like most people, your life story lacks drama, so figuring out a way to make it interesting becomes the big challenge. Finding an angle or a "hook" is vital.

Concentrate on your opening paragraph

• The lead or opening paragraph is generally the most important. It is here that you grab the reader's attention or lose it. This paragraph becomes the framework for the rest of the statement.

Tell what you know

• The middle section of your essay might detail your interest and experience in your particular field, as well as some of your knowledge of the field. Too many people graduate with little or no knowledge of the nuts and bolts of the profession or field they hope to enter. Be as specific as you can in relating what you know about the field and use the language professionals use in conveying this information. Refer to experiences (work, research, etc.), classes, conversations with people in the field, books you've read, seminars you've attended, or any other source of specific information about the career you want and why you're suited to it. Since you will have to select what you include in your statement, the choices you make are often an indication of your judgment.

Don't include some subjects

• There are certain things best left out of personal statements. For example, references to experiences or accomplishments in high school or earlier are generally not a good idea. Don't mention potentially controversial subjects (for example, controversial religious or political issues).

Do some research, if needed

• If a school wants to know why you're applying to it rather than another school, do some research to find out what sets your choice apart from other universities or programs. If the school setting would provide an important geographical or cultural change for you, this might be a factor to mention.

Write well and correctly

• Be meticulous. Type and proofread your essay very carefully. Many admissions officers say that good written skills and command of correct use of language are important to them as they read these statements. Express yourself clearly and concisely. Adhere to stated word limits.

Avoid clichés

• A medical school applicant who writes that he is good at science and wants to help other people is not exactly expressing an original thought. Stay away from often-repeated or tired statements.

For more information on writing a personal statement, see the personal statement vidcast .

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History Personal Statement Examples

What is a history personal statement?

Your history personal statement is a creative piece of writing where you can sell yourself to the admissions tutors and convince them that they should offer you a place on their history course.

This is why we recommend you start writing your personal statement early so you can spend as much time as possible polishing it and making it perfect.

How do I write my history personal statement?

Take a look at some of our many history personal statement examples above for inspiration, as well as our top rated statements . This will give you an idea of how a successful statement is structured.

Then, make a list of your main strengths, skills, work experience, goals and achievements, which you can then use to put your paragraphs together.

Once you have an initial draft, make sure you show it to family, friends and tutors for feedback. Incorporate their comments, and then ask them for more feedback.

It's likely you will go through several rounds of this before you have a final draft you can submit on your UCAS form.

What should I include in my history personal statement?

• What areas of history interest you most? Try to pick out one topic in partiuclar that you enjoy and think about why you are drawn to it. This is where it's a good idea to look at the course content for each university, so you can make sure you talk about something that is relevant.
• If you're applying for a joint honours, write your personal statement so that it covers both subjects. For example, history and politics, or history and economics.
• Include your academic achievements, work experience, and any appropriate hobbies or extracurricular activities.
• Demonstrate skills that are important in studying history, such as research, analysis, interpretation and chronological thinking. Remember to always show, not tell, so back everything up with examples.

For more help and advice on what to write in your history personal statement, please see:

• Personal Statement Editing Services
• Personal Statement Tips From A Teacher
• Analysis Of A Personal Statement
• The 15th January UCAS Deadline: 4 Ways To Avoid Missing It
• Personal Statement FAQs
• Personal Statement Timeline
• 10 Top Personal Statement Writing Tips
• What To Do If You Miss The 15th January UCAS Deadline.

Related resources

Find out more

How To Write A Personal Statement

UCAS Personal Statement FAQs

Personal Statement Tips

10 Personal Statement Don'ts

Example Statement Analysis

Starting University: 10 Essential Tips

Waiting For University Offers

A Level Results Day

Clearing Guide

Choose Your Test

Sat / act prep online guides and tips, 177 college essay examples for 11 schools + expert analysis.

College Admissions , College Essays

The personal statement might just be the hardest part of your college application. Mostly this is because it has the least guidance and is the most open-ended. One way to understand what colleges are looking for when they ask you to write an essay is to check out the essays of students who already got in—college essays that actually worked. After all, they must be among the most successful of this weird literary genre.

In this article, I'll go through general guidelines for what makes great college essays great. I've also compiled an enormous list of 100+ actual sample college essays from 11 different schools. Finally, I'll break down two of these published college essay examples and explain why and how they work. With links to 177 full essays and essay excerpts , this article is a great resource for learning how to craft your own personal college admissions essay!

What Excellent College Essays Have in Common

Even though in many ways these sample college essays are very different from one other, they do share some traits you should try to emulate as you write your own essay.

Visible Signs of Planning

Building out from a narrow, concrete focus. You'll see a similar structure in many of the essays. The author starts with a very detailed story of an event or description of a person or place. After this sense-heavy imagery, the essay expands out to make a broader point about the author, and connects this very memorable experience to the author's present situation, state of mind, newfound understanding, or maturity level.

Knowing how to tell a story. Some of the experiences in these essays are one-of-a-kind. But most deal with the stuff of everyday life. What sets them apart is the way the author approaches the topic: analyzing it for drama and humor, for its moving qualities, for what it says about the author's world, and for how it connects to the author's emotional life.

Stellar Execution

A killer first sentence. You've heard it before, and you'll hear it again: you have to suck the reader in, and the best place to do that is the first sentence. Great first sentences are punchy. They are like cliffhangers, setting up an exciting scene or an unusual situation with an unclear conclusion, in order to make the reader want to know more. Don't take my word for it—check out these 22 first sentences from Stanford applicants and tell me you don't want to read the rest of those essays to find out what happens!

A lively, individual voice. Writing is for readers. In this case, your reader is an admissions officer who has read thousands of essays before yours and will read thousands after. Your goal? Don't bore your reader. Use interesting descriptions, stay away from clichés, include your own offbeat observations—anything that makes this essay sounds like you and not like anyone else.

Technical correctness. No spelling mistakes, no grammar weirdness, no syntax issues, no punctuation snafus—each of these sample college essays has been formatted and proofread perfectly. If this kind of exactness is not your strong suit, you're in luck! All colleges advise applicants to have their essays looked over several times by parents, teachers, mentors, and anyone else who can spot a comma splice. Your essay must be your own work, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting help polishing it.

And if you need more guidance, connect with PrepScholar's expert admissions consultants . These expert writers know exactly what college admissions committees look for in an admissions essay and chan help you craft an essay that boosts your chances of getting into your dream school.

Check out PrepScholar's Essay Editing and Coaching progra m for more details!

Links to Full College Essay Examples

Some colleges publish a selection of their favorite accepted college essays that worked, and I've put together a selection of over 100 of these.

Common App Essay Samples

Please note that some of these college essay examples may be responding to prompts that are no longer in use. The current Common App prompts are as follows:

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. 2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? 3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? 4. Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? 5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. 6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Now, let's get to the good stuff: the list of 177 college essay examples responding to current and past Common App essay prompts. 

Connecticut college.

• 12 Common Application essays from the classes of 2022-2025

Hamilton College

• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2026
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2022
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2018
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2012
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2007

Johns Hopkins

These essays are answers to past prompts from either the Common Application or the Coalition Application (which Johns Hopkins used to accept).

• 1 Common Application or Coalition Application essay from the class of 2026
• 6 Common Application or Coalition Application essays from the class of 2025
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2024
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2023
• 7 Common Application of Universal Application essays from the class of 2022
• 5 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2021
• 7 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2020

Essay Examples Published by Other Websites

• 2 Common Application essays ( 1st essay , 2nd essay ) from applicants admitted to Columbia

Other Sample College Essays

Here is a collection of essays that are college-specific.

Babson College

• 4 essays (and 1 video response) on "Why Babson" from the class of 2020

Emory University

• 5 essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) from the class of 2020 along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on why the essays were exceptional
• 5 more recent essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on what made these essays stand out

University of Georgia

• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2019
• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2018
• 10 Harvard essays from 2023
• 10 Harvard essays from 2022
• 10 Harvard essays from 2021
• 10 Harvard essays from 2020
• 10 Harvard essays from 2019
• 10 Harvard essays from 2018
• 6 essays from admitted MIT students

Smith College

• 6 "best gift" essays from the class of 2018

Books of College Essays

If you're looking for even more sample college essays, consider purchasing a college essay book. The best of these include dozens of essays that worked and feedback from real admissions officers.

College Essays That Made a Difference —This detailed guide from Princeton Review includes not only successful essays, but also interviews with admissions officers and full student profiles.

50 Successful Harvard Application Essays by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson—A must for anyone aspiring to Harvard .

50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays and 50 Successful Stanford Application Essays by Gen and Kelly Tanabe—For essays from other top schools, check out this venerated series, which is regularly updated with new essays.

Heavenly Essays by Janine W. Robinson—This collection from the popular blogger behind Essay Hell includes a wider range of schools, as well as helpful tips on honing your own essay.

Analyzing Great Common App Essays That Worked

I've picked two essays from the examples collected above to examine in more depth so that you can see exactly what makes a successful college essay work. Full credit for these essays goes to the original authors and the schools that published them.

Example 1: "Breaking Into Cars," by Stephen, Johns Hopkins Class of '19 (Common App Essay, 636 words long)

I had never broken into a car before.

We were in Laredo, having just finished our first day at a Habitat for Humanity work site. The Hotchkiss volunteers had already left, off to enjoy some Texas BBQ, leaving me behind with the college kids to clean up. Not until we were stranded did we realize we were locked out of the van.

Someone picked a coat hanger out of the dumpster, handed it to me, and took a few steps back.

"Can you do that thing with a coat hanger to unlock it?"

"Why me?" I thought.

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame. Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally. My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed. "The water's on fire! Clear a hole!" he shouted, tossing me in the lake without warning. While I'm still unconvinced about that particular lesson's practicality, my Dad's overarching message is unequivocally true: much of life is unexpected, and you have to deal with the twists and turns.

Living in my family, days rarely unfolded as planned. A bit overlooked, a little pushed around, I learned to roll with reality, negotiate a quick deal, and give the improbable a try. I don't sweat the small stuff, and I definitely don't expect perfect fairness. So what if our dining room table only has six chairs for seven people? Someone learns the importance of punctuality every night.

But more than punctuality and a special affinity for musical chairs, my family life has taught me to thrive in situations over which I have no power. Growing up, I never controlled my older siblings, but I learned how to thwart their attempts to control me. I forged alliances, and realigned them as necessary. Sometimes, I was the poor, defenseless little brother; sometimes I was the omniscient elder. Different things to different people, as the situation demanded. I learned to adapt.

Back then, these techniques were merely reactions undertaken to ensure my survival. But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The question caught me off guard, much like the question posed to me in Laredo. Then, I realized I knew the answer. I knew why the coat hanger had been handed to me.

Growing up as the middle child in my family, I was a vital participant in a thing I did not govern, in the company of people I did not choose. It's family. It's society. And often, it's chaos. You participate by letting go of the small stuff, not expecting order and perfection, and facing the unexpected with confidence, optimism, and preparedness. My family experience taught me to face a serendipitous world with confidence.

What Makes This Essay Tick?

It's very helpful to take writing apart in order to see just how it accomplishes its objectives. Stephen's essay is very effective. Let's find out why!

An Opening Line That Draws You In

In just eight words, we get: scene-setting (he is standing next to a car about to break in), the idea of crossing a boundary (he is maybe about to do an illegal thing for the first time), and a cliffhanger (we are thinking: is he going to get caught? Is he headed for a life of crime? Is he about to be scared straight?).

Great, Detailed Opening Story

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame.

It's the details that really make this small experience come alive. Notice how whenever he can, Stephen uses a more specific, descriptive word in place of a more generic one. The volunteers aren't going to get food or dinner; they're going for "Texas BBQ." The coat hanger comes from "a dumpster." Stephen doesn't just move the coat hanger—he "jiggles" it.

Details also help us visualize the emotions of the people in the scene. The person who hands Stephen the coat hanger isn't just uncomfortable or nervous; he "takes a few steps back"—a description of movement that conveys feelings. Finally, the detail of actual speech makes the scene pop. Instead of writing that the other guy asked him to unlock the van, Stephen has the guy actually say his own words in a way that sounds like a teenager talking.

Turning a Specific Incident Into a Deeper Insight

Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

Stephen makes the locked car experience a meaningful illustration of how he has learned to be resourceful and ready for anything, and he also makes this turn from the specific to the broad through an elegant play on the two meanings of the word "click."

Using Concrete Examples When Making Abstract Claims

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally.

"Unpredictability and chaos" are very abstract, not easily visualized concepts. They could also mean any number of things—violence, abandonment, poverty, mental instability. By instantly following up with highly finite and unambiguous illustrations like "family of seven" and "siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing," Stephen grounds the abstraction in something that is easy to picture: a large, noisy family.

Using Small Bits of Humor and Casual Word Choice

My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed.

Obviously, knowing how to clean burning oil is not high on the list of things every 9-year-old needs to know. To emphasize this, Stephen uses sarcasm by bringing up a situation that is clearly over-the-top: "in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed."

The humor also feels relaxed. Part of this is because he introduces it with the colloquial phrase "you know," so it sounds like he is talking to us in person. This approach also diffuses the potential discomfort of the reader with his father's strictness—since he is making jokes about it, clearly he is OK. Notice, though, that this doesn't occur very much in the essay. This helps keep the tone meaningful and serious rather than flippant.

An Ending That Stretches the Insight Into the Future

But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The ending of the essay reveals that Stephen's life has been one long preparation for the future. He has emerged from chaos and his dad's approach to parenting as a person who can thrive in a world that he can't control.

This connection of past experience to current maturity and self-knowledge is a key element in all successful personal essays. Colleges are very much looking for mature, self-aware applicants. These are the qualities of successful college students, who will be able to navigate the independence college classes require and the responsibility and quasi-adulthood of college life.

What Could This Essay Do Even Better?

Even the best essays aren't perfect, and even the world's greatest writers will tell you that writing is never "finished"—just "due." So what would we tweak in this essay if we could?

Replace some of the clichéd language. Stephen uses handy phrases like "twists and turns" and "don't sweat the small stuff" as a kind of shorthand for explaining his relationship to chaos and unpredictability. But using too many of these ready-made expressions runs the risk of clouding out your own voice and replacing it with something expected and boring.

Use another example from recent life. Stephen's first example (breaking into the van in Laredo) is a great illustration of being resourceful in an unexpected situation. But his essay also emphasizes that he "learned to adapt" by being "different things to different people." It would be great to see how this plays out outside his family, either in the situation in Laredo or another context.

Example 2: By Renner Kwittken, Tufts Class of '23 (Common App Essay, 645 words long)

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry's "Cars and Trucks and Things That Go," and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration.

Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear.

I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

In the lab, Dr. Ray encouraged a great amount of autonomy to design and implement my own procedures. I chose to attack a problem that affects the entire field of nanomedicine: nanoparticles consistently fail to translate from animal studies into clinical trials. Jumping off recent literature, I set out to see if a pre-dose of a common chemotherapeutic could enhance nanoparticle delivery in aggressive prostate cancer, creating three novel constructs based on three different linear polymers, each using fluorescent dye (although no gold, sorry goldbug!). Though using radioactive isotopes like Gallium and Yttrium would have been incredible, as a 17-year-old, I unfortunately wasn't allowed in the same room as these radioactive materials (even though I took a Geiger counter to a pair of shoes and found them to be slightly dangerous).

I hadn't expected my hypothesis to work, as the research project would have ideally been led across two full years. Yet while there are still many optimizations and revisions to be done, I was thrilled to find -- with completely new nanoparticles that may one day mean future trials will use particles with the initials "RK-1" -- thatcyclophosphamide did indeed increase nanoparticle delivery to the tumor in a statistically significant way.

A secondary, unexpected research project was living alone in Baltimore, a new city to me, surrounded by people much older than I. Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research. Whether in a presentation or in a casual conversation, making others interested in science is perhaps more exciting to me than the research itself. This solidified a new pursuit to angle my love for writing towards illuminating science in ways people can understand, adding value to a society that can certainly benefit from more scientific literacy.

It seems fitting that my goals are still transforming: in Scarry's book, there is not just one goldbug, there is one on every page. With each new experience, I'm learning that it isn't the goldbug itself, but rather the act of searching for the goldbugs that will encourage, shape, and refine my ever-evolving passions. Regardless of the goldbug I seek -- I know my pickle truck has just begun its journey.

Renner takes a somewhat different approach than Stephen, but their essay is just as detailed and engaging. Let's go through some of the strengths of this essay.

One Clear Governing Metaphor

This essay is ultimately about two things: Renner’s dreams and future career goals, and Renner’s philosophy on goal-setting and achieving one’s dreams.

But instead of listing off all the amazing things they’ve done to pursue their dream of working in nanomedicine, Renner tells a powerful, unique story instead. To set up the narrative, Renner opens the essay by connecting their experiences with goal-setting and dream-chasing all the way back to a memorable childhood experience:

This lighthearted–but relevant!--story about the moment when Renner first developed a passion for a specific career (“finding the goldbug”) provides an anchor point for the rest of the essay. As Renner pivots to describing their current dreams and goals–working in nanomedicine–the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” is reflected in Renner’s experiments, rejections, and new discoveries.

Though Renner tells multiple stories about their quest to “find the goldbug,” or, in other words, pursue their passion, each story is connected by a unifying theme; namely, that as we search and grow over time, our goals will transform…and that’s okay! By the end of the essay, Renner uses the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” to reiterate the relevance of the opening story:

While the earlier parts of the essay convey Renner’s core message by showing, the final, concluding paragraph sums up Renner’s insights by telling. By briefly and clearly stating the relevance of the goldbug metaphor to their own philosophy on goals and dreams, Renner demonstrates their creativity, insight, and eagerness to grow and evolve as the journey continues into college.

An Engaging, Individual Voice

This essay uses many techniques that make Renner sound genuine and make the reader feel like we already know them.

Technique #1: humor. Notice Renner's gentle and relaxed humor that lightly mocks their younger self's grand ambitions (this is different from the more sarcastic kind of humor used by Stephen in the first essay—you could never mistake one writer for the other).

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver.

I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Renner gives a great example of how to use humor to your advantage in college essays. You don’t want to come off as too self-deprecating or sarcastic, but telling a lightheartedly humorous story about your younger self that also showcases how you’ve grown and changed over time can set the right tone for your entire essay.

Technique #2: intentional, eye-catching structure. The second technique is the way Renner uses a unique structure to bolster the tone and themes of their essay . The structure of your essay can have a major impact on how your ideas come across…so it’s important to give it just as much thought as the content of your essay!

For instance, Renner does a great job of using one-line paragraphs to create dramatic emphasis and to make clear transitions from one phase of the story to the next:

Suddenly the destination of my pickle car was clear.

Not only does the one-liner above signal that Renner is moving into a new phase of the narrative (their nanoparticle research experiences), it also tells the reader that this is a big moment in Renner’s story. It’s clear that Renner made a major discovery that changed the course of their goal pursuit and dream-chasing. Through structure, Renner conveys excitement and entices the reader to keep pushing forward to the next part of the story.

Technique #3: playing with syntax. The third technique is to use sentences of varying length, syntax, and structure. Most of the essay's written in standard English and uses grammatically correct sentences. However, at key moments, Renner emphasizes that the reader needs to sit up and pay attention by switching to short, colloquial, differently punctuated, and sometimes fragmented sentences.

Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research.

In the examples above, Renner switches adeptly between long, flowing sentences and quippy, telegraphic ones. At the same time, Renner uses these different sentence lengths intentionally. As they describe their experiences in new places, they use longer sentences to immerse the reader in the sights, smells, and sounds of those experiences. And when it’s time to get a big, key idea across, Renner switches to a short, punchy sentence to stop the reader in their tracks.

The varying syntax and sentence lengths pull the reader into the narrative and set up crucial “aha” moments when it’s most important…which is a surefire way to make any college essay stand out.

Renner's essay is very strong, but there are still a few little things that could be improved.

Connecting the research experiences to the theme of “finding the goldbug.”  The essay begins and ends with Renner’s connection to the idea of “finding the goldbug.” And while this metaphor is deftly tied into the essay’s intro and conclusion, it isn’t entirely clear what Renner’s big findings were during the research experiences that are described in the middle of the essay. It would be great to add a sentence or two stating what Renner’s big takeaways (or “goldbugs”) were from these experiences, which add more cohesion to the essay as a whole.

Give more details about discovering the world of nanomedicine. It makes sense that Renner wants to get into the details of their big research experiences as quickly as possible. After all, these are the details that show Renner’s dedication to nanomedicine! But a smoother transition from the opening pickle car/goldbug story to Renner’s “real goldbug” of nanoparticles would help the reader understand why nanoparticles became Renner’s goldbug. Finding out why Renner is so motivated to study nanomedicine–and perhaps what put them on to this field of study–would help readers fully understand why Renner chose this path in the first place.

4 Essential Tips for Writing Your Own Essay

How can you use this discussion to better your own college essay? Here are some suggestions for ways to use this resource effectively.

#1: Get Help From the Experts

Getting your college applications together takes a lot of work and can be pretty intimidatin g. Essays are even more important than ever now that admissions processes are changing and schools are going test-optional and removing diversity standards thanks to new Supreme Court rulings .  If you want certified expert help that really makes a difference, get started with  PrepScholar’s Essay Editing and Coaching program. Our program can help you put together an incredible essay from idea to completion so that your application stands out from the crowd. We've helped students get into the best colleges in the United States, including Harvard, Stanford, and Yale.  If you're ready to take the next step and boost your odds of getting into your dream school, connect with our experts today .

#2: Read Other Essays to Get Ideas for Your Own

As you go through the essays we've compiled for you above, ask yourself the following questions:

• Can you explain to yourself (or someone else!) why the opening sentence works well?
• Look for the essay's detailed personal anecdote. What senses is the author describing? Can you easily picture the scene in your mind's eye?
• Find the place where this anecdote bridges into a larger insight about the author. How does the essay connect the two? How does the anecdote work as an example of the author's characteristic, trait, or skill?
• Check out the essay's tone. If it's funny, can you find the places where the humor comes from? If it's sad and moving, can you find the imagery and description of feelings that make you moved? If it's serious, can you see how word choice adds to this tone?

Make a note whenever you find an essay or part of an essay that you think was particularly well-written, and think about what you like about it . Is it funny? Does it help you really get to know the writer? Does it show what makes the writer unique? Once you have your list, keep it next to you while writing your essay to remind yourself to try and use those same techniques in your own essay.

#3: Find Your "A-Ha!" Moment

All of these essays rely on connecting with the reader through a heartfelt, highly descriptive scene from the author's life. It can either be very dramatic (did you survive a plane crash?) or it can be completely mundane (did you finally beat your dad at Scrabble?). Either way, it should be personal and revealing about you, your personality, and the way you are now that you are entering the adult world.

Check out essays by authors like John Jeremiah Sullivan , Leslie Jamison , Hanif Abdurraqib , and Esmé Weijun Wang to get more examples of how to craft a compelling personal narrative.

#4: Start Early, Revise Often

Let me level with you: the best writing isn't writing at all. It's rewriting. And in order to have time to rewrite, you have to start way before the application deadline. My advice is to write your first draft at least two months before your applications are due.

Let it sit for a few days untouched. Then come back to it with fresh eyes and think critically about what you've written. What's extra? What's missing? What is in the wrong place? What doesn't make sense? Don't be afraid to take it apart and rearrange sections. Do this several times over, and your essay will be much better for it!

For more editing tips, check out a style guide like Dreyer's English or Eats, Shoots & Leaves .

What's Next?

Still not sure which colleges you want to apply to? Our experts will show you how to make a college list that will help you choose a college that's right for you.

Interested in learning more about college essays? Check out our detailed breakdown of exactly how personal statements work in an application , some suggestions on what to avoid when writing your essay , and our guide to writing about your extracurricular activities .

Working on the rest of your application? Read what admissions officers wish applicants knew before applying .

The recommendations in this post are based solely on our knowledge and experience. If you purchase an item through one of our links PrepScholar may receive a commission.

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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Common App essay examples that got applicants into top colleges

Composing essays for your college application is a challenging task. It is not enough to prepare a ‘good’ essay. College admissions committees review thousands upon thousands of college essays annually, making it crucial that your Common App essays stand out.

The good news is there are plenty of Common App essay examples available to get you started on your writing and provide you some much needed inspiration. Read on to learn about common application essays and check out the examples. 

The “Why us?” App Essay

The “diversity” app essay, the “challenges” app essay, the “community” app essay, the “extra-curricular activities” app essay, the “personal statement” app essay.

The purpose of a “why did you choose this college” essay is to help you persuade admissions committees that you are a good match. The essay is a chance for you to introduce yourself and talk about your passions. It is also important to exhibit genuine enthusiasm for the institution.

Sample answer from Essays That Worked: “The only reason I fear going for lunch in a hotel is probably because I wouldn’t choose between fried chicken and roasted meat and so is my dilemma over my college major. The multifaceted whole brain approach at McCormick, however, grants me the perfect opportunity to pursue my interest in Computer Science whilst acquiring the appropriate skills in entrepreneurship to a one day startup as an innovator.

As a NU computer scientist, I particularly look forward to Software Development EECS 473 – NUvention: Web, through which I would not only learn intricacies of Software development, but have related studies in real time software development in relation to market requirements in CS+X that would form a base for a startup. That would also provide a bridge for me to join Prof Todd Warren at Farley Center for Entrepreneurship and Innovation where I would specifically join the NUvention; Web + Media. Through this unparalleled program I would have the intimacy of working in a team with fellow wild cats towards an innovative business project. The results of which will be an introduction to the Northwestern Innovation and New Ventures Office (INVO) through which I look forward to gaining practical exposure in launching businesses to the general public.

Outside McCormick, I would be excited to pursue the Managerial analytics Certificate program at Kellogg to acquire intelligent business management skills, let off steam at SPARK exploring hacks while fostering entrepreneurial habits, and eventually joining preparations for the Benedictine Eagle Invite at the Henry Crown Sports Pavilion (SPAC) with the NU track club. I may not be the best of singers, but I do have intense phases of music obsessions and where better to let it off than taking non major classes at Bienen and joining one of the numerous Acapella groups as I await Armadillo day!”

Why does this essay work? 

The essay refers to specific programs and events that are unique to the school. The author also connects his personal interests with the type of activities he would like to engage in. The focus is on a handful of initiatives the author would be most interested in.

A diversity essay highlights the applicant’s unique background, identity, culture, beliefs, or connections to a particular community. It underlines what sets the applicant apart. These essays are used by colleges to promote diversity on campus, enhance the learning environment, and identify candidates eligible for scholarships aimed at underrepresented groups.

Sample Answer from Boston College : “I’m angry and I’m tired of pretending otherwise. There have been too many riots, too many marches, too many people shouting into uncaring ears when Black people get treated the way we do. How many dead fathers, sons, mothers, and daughters have to move from the front page of the news to the bottom of the social media feed before we get recognized and listened to. I just want to be heard. I have given up on the idea of waking up in a world where I am not afraid, angry, and weary. Maybe that world is for my grandkids, or my great-grandkids, but not me.

My mother and my father, my aunts and uncles, they were all very active in the protests – often at the front of the line – and they did not come through unscathed. They had bruises and blood spilt, they had broken bones. I know they will return to that battlefield, to protest peacefully until they cannot maintain that rank any longer. From these noble people I received my sense of righteous anger. But I also got good advice on how to use it well.

They know that protests are one thing, but action is another, and my mind has been geared toward law school for some time now, because I wanted to bring about the major changes that are needed for our society to move on. So, in addition to protests, I have been taking pre-law courses, and I have acquired a part-time job in the law firm where my uncle works, and while it is a small, office job, I get to spend a lot of time with my uncle learning about how to bring positive change by fighting big and little battles. Of course, he is also showing me how to fight those battles.

Anger alone isn’t going to settle anything, which is why I believe in making a better world with my actions and rhetoric. But I am still frustrated and furious, and while I am trying to find a hopeful place to get to, I’ll repeat that I don’t think we’ll see the better world I want. Maybe our grandkids, but not us. Hold on to that, get angry, and join me in pushing forward for them.”

The applicant talks about their personal experience beyond a general push for diversity. This authenticity makes the essay stand out, as it provides a genuine insight into the applicant’s life and character.The essay clearly articulates the applicant’s motivation for pursuing law school as a means to enact social change. It shows a thoughtful progression from anger and frustration to actionable goals and aspirations, which is exactly what admissions committees look for — students who are motivated by their experiences to make a positive impact.

This type of essay requires you to choose an obstacle you have encountered, explain how it impacted you, and outline the steps you took to overcome it. Life during college and beyond can be unpredictable. Through this essay, the admissions committee wants to see that you are adaptable, resilient, and able to think critically to solve problems. 

Sample Answer from CollegeVine: “You ruined my life!” After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain.

Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.

When my parents learned about The Green Academy, we hoped it would be an opportunity for me to find not only an academically challenging environment, but also – perhaps more importantly – a community. This meant transferring the family from Drumfield to Kingston. And while there was concern about Max, we all believed that given his sociable nature, moving would be far less impactful on him than staying put might be on me.

As it turned out, Green Academy was everything I’d hoped for. I was ecstatic to discover a group of students with whom I shared interests and could truly engage. Preoccupied with new friends and a rigorous course load, I failed to notice that the tables had turned. Max, lost in the fray and grappling with how to make connections in his enormous new high school, had become withdrawn and lonely. It took me until Christmas time – and a massive argument – to recognize how difficult the transition had been for my brother, let alone that he blamed me for it.

Through my own journey of searching for academic peers, in addition to coming out as gay when I was 12, I had developed deep empathy for those who had trouble fitting in. It was a pain I knew well and could easily relate to. Yet after Max’s outburst, my first response was to protest that our parents – not I – had chosen to move us here. In my heart, though, I knew that regardless of who had made the decision, we ended up in Kingston for my benefit. I was ashamed that, while I saw myself as genuinely compassionate, I had been oblivious to the heartache of the person closest to me. I could no longer ignore it – and I didn’t want to.

We stayed up half the night talking, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. Max opened up and shared that it wasn’t just about the move. He told me how challenging school had always been for him, due to his dyslexia, and that the ever-present comparison to me had only deepened his pain.

We had been in parallel battles the whole time and, yet, I only saw that Max was in distress once he experienced problems with which I directly identified. I’d long thought Max had it so easy – all because he had friends. The truth was, he didn’t need to experience my personal brand of sorrow in order for me to relate – he had felt plenty of his own.

My failure to recognize Max’s suffering brought home for me the profound universality and diversity of personal struggle; everyone has insecurities, everyone has woes, and everyone – most certainly – has pain. I am acutely grateful for the conversations he and I shared around all of this, because I believe our relationship has been fundamentally strengthened by a deeper understanding of one another. Further, this experience has reinforced the value of constantly striving for deeper sensitivity to the hidden struggles of those around me. I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story.”

For a ‘challenge’ essay, admissions committees look for evidence of resilience, problem-solving, and the ability to learn from difficult situations. This essay effectively addresses these criteria, presenting the writer as someone who has faced interpersonal challenges, reflected on their actions, and emerged more aware and compassionate.

The “Community” essay will prompt students to talk about a community to which they belong and what role they have played in that community. You can start by discussing a community you have previously been involved with and then outline how you intend to sustain your engagement with a similar community in college to give the admissions office an idea of what on-campus activities you would like to participate in. 

Sample answer from Baylor University : “Since getting involved in helping the homeless, I learned that for a time one of my relatives was homeless. When you have a house it’s easy to take it for granted, but all it takes is some bad luck for you to lose it. This is why I feel it’s so important that we all try to help those who have no home to go to.

As hard as it was to motivate others to volunteer and help out with our fundraiser, it was worth it in the end. We raised over $1,000 for the hurricane victims. Now when we see news coverage of that terrible disaster at least we know that we have done our small part to help. 

The reward for being a coach has nothing to do with winning games. The reward is seeing everyone working as a team and enjoying the game. Win or lose, as a coach you’re always proud after each game.”

Overall, this essay works because it skillfully combines personal motivation with community action, challenges faced during these endeavors, and reflections on what truly constitutes a reward. It not only showcases the applicant’s commitment to addressing community issues but also highlights valuable character traits such as empathy, leadership, and resilience. 

The essay about your extracurricular activities aims to provide admissions officers with insight into your involvement in extracurriculars and how that has influenced and inspired you. Rather than listing the activities mentioned in your resume, you should delve into how the extracurricular activities have impacted and shaped you.  

Sample answer from Admit Report : “As an impressionable six-year-old, I watched Meryl Streep-portrayed Miranda Priestly shape fashion history with a single word of disgust. I longed for my words to have such an impact.

Now, as an editor-in-chief myself, I oversee daily operations of The Hallway, my high school’s newspaper. Instead of shaping global fashion trends, I impact my community by ensuring everyone stays informed.

My place as editor-in-chief was solidified when, in March of last year, we published a breaking story. After a tip to our newspaper email address, a fellow reporter and I uncovered an academic dishonesty scandal. We conducted interviews, dug into school files, and reviewed old test keys to discover the cheating. My reporter wrote the story, and I edited it and put it on the front page. Our story became so big that it was republished in our city’s local newspaper.

Leading my team through this investigation taught me just how important journalism is. Even when people might be upset with what you write, what’s most important is the truth. People can’t make decisions if they’re uninformed about the facts. And reporters can’t investigate and write those stories without the support of a leader who’s willing to put in the work, too.

I doubt I’ll ever predict what we’ll be wearing next spring. But I know that my words will continue to have a deep impact on my community, and I can’t wait to find the next big story at The Catalyst.”

The applicant reflects on what they learned through their experience, especially the value of truth and the role of leadership in journalism.The essay concludes with a forward-looking statement, expressing eagerness to continue making an impact through journalism. This not only highlights the applicant’s passion for their extracurricular activity but also their intention to pursue this interest further, suggesting potential for future growth and contributions.

Through this essay, you can get the opportunity to show the college admissions committee who you are and why you deserve to be admitted to their school. The essay demonstrates the type of individual you are beyond  your academic grades and test scores. It is a chance for you to stand out as an individual. 

Sample answer from College Advisor : “Gymnastics has always been a part of my life and has shaped who I am today. Without gymnastics I would not have the same determined mindset, competitive nature, and appreciation of a team. If I were to neglect sharing this aspect of my life, my application would truly be incomplete.

When I was two years old, my parents enrolled me in the Parent-and-Me program at Countryside Gymnastics. At six, I became part of the pre-team program, Dynamos, and was placed in the compulsory team at age seven.  As a compulsory, I struggled to be as good as my teammates. This struggle caused frustration which evolved into determination and a competitive nature. Throughout the rest of my compulsory years, I gradually improved but still felt as though I were stuck. I knew I had to “up my game.”

The optional levels, 7 and up, brought a new factor—fear. Even though this fear did hold me back at times, I did not let it keep me from achieving my goals. Gymnastics is also extremely tough on the body. Once I entered the optional level of gymnastics, I trained at least 20 hours a week and endured the aches and pains that came along with it. However, I did not let these pains defeat me. When I reached level 9, I began to experience severe back pain, which a spine specialist diagnosed as a subcutaneous lipoma. Although the physician highly recommended I stop training to avoid complications later in life, I was too committed to stop the sport.  I let my desire push me through the pain, and I had a successful competition season, qualifying for the Region 8 Regional Competition in Jackson, Mississippi. 

During summer training in 2013, I worked as hard as possible to reach level 10, with the back pain progressively worsening. Once my pain peaked, my coach told me it may be time to “hang it up.” I could either quit or repeat level 9 with minimal training. Ultimately, the choice was mine. To prove I was capable of reaching level 10 and to support my team, I continued to train on a vigorous schedule. At level 10, I am the highest level gymnast at Countryside Gymnastics and am determined to have an exceptional competition season.

This determination and competitiveness that pushes me to accomplish my goals in gymnastics also exists in my current scholastics—the health sciences, which will ultimately prepare me for my future in pediatric medicine. Without the desire to be the best I can be, I might not have achieved success throughout my high school years.”

This personal statement application essay effectively showcases the applicant’s character, resilience, and the transferability of skills learned through sports to academic and personal pursuits.It is also well-structured, with a clear narrative arc that engages the reader from the beginning to the end.

These essays are a vital component of the college application. It’s an opportunity for applicants to showcase their personality, experiences, and values in a way that grades and test scores cannot. The example essays can give you ideas on themes, topics, or approaches you might want to consider and help you understand what makes an essay effective in terms of structure, tone, and content.

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How to Write a Good History Essay. A Sequence of Actions and Useful Tips

Before you start writing your history essay, there is quite a lot of work that has to be done in order to gain success.

You may ask: what is history essay? What is the difference between it and other kinds of essays? Well, the main goal of a history essay is to measure your progress in learning history and test your range of skills (such as analysis, logic, planning, research, and writing), it is necessary to prepare yourself very well.

Your plan of action may look like this. First of all, you will have to explore the topic. If you are going to write about a certain historical event, think of its causes and premises, and analyze what its impact on history was. In case you are writing about a person, find out why and how he or she came to power and how they influenced society and historical situations.

The next step is to make research and collect all the available information about the person or event, and also find evidence.

Finally, you will have to compose a well-organized response.

During the research, make notes and excerpts of the most notable data, write out the important dates and personalities. And of course, write down all your thoughts and findings.

It all may seem complicated at first sight, but in fact, it is not so scary! To complete this task successfully and compose a good history essay, simply follow several easy steps provided below.

Detailed Writing Instruction for Students to Follow

If you want to successfully complete your essay, it would be better to organize the writing process. You will complete the assignment faster and more efficient if you divide the whole work into several sections or steps.

• Introduction

Writing a good and strong introduction part is important because this is the first thing your reader will see. It gives the first impression of your essay and induces people to reading (or not reading) it.

To make the introduction catchy and interesting, express the contention and address the main question of the essay. Be confident and clear as this is the moment when you define the direction your whole essay will take. And remember that introduction is not the right place for rambling! The best of all is, to begin with, a brief context summary, then go to addressing the question and express the content. Finally, mark the direction your essay about history will take.

Its quality depends on how clear you divided the whole essay into sections in the previous part. As long as you have provided a readable and understandable scheme, your readers will know exactly what to expect.

The body of your essay must give a clear vision of what question you are considering. In this section, you can develop your idea and support it with the evidence you have found. Use certain facts and quotations for that. When being judicial and analytical, they will help you to easily support your point of view and argument.

As long as your essay has a limited size, don’t be too precise. It is allowed to summarize the most essential background information, for example, instead of giving a precise list of all the issues that matter.

It is also good to keep in mind that each paragraph of your essay’s body must tell about only one issue. Don’t make a mess out of your paper!

It is not only essential to start your essay well. How you will end it also matters. A properly-written conclusion is the one that restates the whole paper’s content and gives a logical completion of the issue or question discussed above. Your conclusion must leave to chance for further discussion or arguments on the case. It’s time, to sum up, give a verdict.

That is why it is strongly forbidden to provide any new evidence or information here, as well as start a new discussion, etc.

After you finish writing, give yourself some time and put the paper away for a while. When you turn back to it will be easier to take a fresh look at it and find any mistakes or things to improve. Of course, remember to proofread your writing and check it for any grammar, spelling and punctuation errors. All these tips will help you to learn how to write a history essay.

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Mount Everest was the riskiest place I had practiced medicine until I became an OB/GYN in the South

In post-dobbs georgia, unlike on everest, i didn't choose the restrictions and threats i now practice under, by mimi zieman.

On the eastern glacier of Everest in Tibet, where avalanches boomed in the distance and icy winds blew through my nylon tent, I tucked in at night within a cocoon of uncertainty. I kept my stethoscope and blood pressure cuff nestled by my thighs to keep them warm and ready to use. Months stretched out in isolation with me on high alert — alone in my medical role — fearing I’d fail when most needed. Most nights I shivered as I donned my down layers, slept with two hats, and tucked a hot water bottle beside my feet for warmth. I envied the rest of the all-male team who slept bare.

In the middle of one night, my fears became reality. Two severely injured climbers crawled over uneven rocks to stumble into camp. They shouted our names for help, piercing the black air. Half asleep, with shoelaces untied and blades of hail stinging my face, I stumbled toward the sound of their voices, then helped them back to our tents, and began a marathon of care. At 18,000 feet, the thin air mirrored my nascent experience as a 25-year-old medical student. I worried about their conditions and the care I was delivering. Was I doing everything correctly? Remembering the protocols? What else should I be doing?  

My journey to Everest was a leap of faith. I was raised a New York City girl and felt like an unlikely candidate for a Himalayan expedition, but I couldn’t resist the call of the mountains. Once I joined the team as the Medical Officer, I dove into mountaineering medicine, sought counsel from experts, and armed myself with knowledge. Yet nothing could prepare me for how isolated we’d be. We saw no outsiders for months and knew there was no chance for rescue on the East Face of the mountain in Tibet. 

A few days later, back in Base Camp, I laid out packages of gauze, tape, scissors, antiseptic and checked the antibiotics on hand. While tending to a climber with severe frostbite injuries affecting both hands and feet, I tipped his hat over his eyes and suggested he look away. I removed the bandage I’d placed at Advanced Base Camp from his first finger. A shrunken black stub of a distal phalanx — the whole tip of his finger — stared back. He lifted his hat, saw his finger, and looked up at me with wide eyes. Then he rounded his back away from me like an animal curled up in defense. More unwrapping, more fingers, more rocking with sobs, digit after digit, dead, inch-long black fingertips. He wailed, shook his head, and his sobs pierced my heart. I wished I could protect him from this pain. His eyes were pleading, but I had no answers. I, too, was surprised at how rapidly his shredded fingers had turned to coal.

Since the Dobbs decision, I don’t have the autonomy I had on the mountain to deliver the best care possible.

“Will I ever be able to climb again?” he asked. The gauze adhered to his final two fingers. 

I didn’t have an answer.

My only motivation was to provide the best care possible while being present with compassion. We were all at the knife edge of our limits and digging deeply for strength.

Each of us on that mountain had weighed our risks and vulnerabilities and had chosen to be there. The climbers had chosen the extreme challenge of Everest and did everything in their power to remain alive. I had chosen to work in these circumstances and was delivering the best care I could under difficult conditions.

Not so in my OB/GYN practice in Georgia. Since the Dobbs decision, I don’t have the autonomy I had on the mountain to deliver the best care possible. This is a different kind of isolation, and it’s more unnerving. Despite years of medical training and a commitment to evidence-based care, physicians are hamstrung by state laws, and our patients are suffering. 

A few weeks ago, I entered an exam room to find a young woman staring at her phone, wearing a college sweatshirt and crocs decked out with charms. She had driven alone to Georgia from Tennessee seeking an abortion. Georgia law permits abortions  until approximately two weeks after a missed period, whereas Tennessee bans all procedures with narrow medical emergency exceptions .

After discussing how she felt and clarifying information in her medical history, I said, “Your ultrasound doesn’t show a pregnancy in the uterus, which can happen for a few reasons, most commonly because it’s too early in pregnancy. But the level of pregnancy hormone in your blood and medical history makes me concerned you could have an ectopic pregnancy — one that grows outside the uterus, typically in the fallopian tubes.”

Here, the peaks are legal hurdles, the valleys emotional.

We discussed what might be going on and the next steps we could take, but this young woman dissolved into tears. Getting advanced care to rule out an ectopic pregnancy would require involving her health insurance, which would alert her parents, something she wanted to avoid. I left the room to give her space and time to compose herself while I went to investigate options for care. 

Sobbing patients overwhelmed by difficult decisions resulting from abortion restrictions are now part of our everyday practice as OB/GYNs. We’re not discussing plans of care based on science — we’re sorting out travel, logistics, time off work, childcare, emotional distress, and legal ramifications. Here, the peaks are legal hurdles, the valleys emotional.

This is taking a toll on us. A recent survey by EL Sabbath et al. of OB/GYNs in states with bans documents immense personal impacts “including distress at having to delay essential patient care, fears of legal ramifications, mental health effects, and planned or actual attrition.” The majority reported symptoms of anxiety or depression as a direct consequence of Dobbs. Ninety-three percent of respondents had situations where they or their colleagues could not follow standard of care. Eleven percent had already moved to another state without restrictions, and 60% considered leaving but have family and other obligations making them stay for now.

Although we’ve spent years in medical training, our expertise has been erased by politicians with no medical background. Not being able to practice in accordance with the ethical principles of respecting patient privacy and autonomy in the decision-making process is wounding us.

A May 2023 survey found that 55% of Idaho OB-GYNs were seriously or somewhat considering leaving the state due to the abortion ban, and a hospital there was forced to close its labor and delivery unit due to related staffing issues. Fewer OB/GYNS means less maternal care and yet many of the states with abortion restrictions have the highest maternal mortality rates.

Take this a step back and medical trainees are being affected. Abortion bans are affecting almost half of OB/GYN training programs. A recent survey of medical students in Indiana found 70% were less likely to pursue residency in a state with abortion bans. With decreased training — and diminishing numbers of OB/GYNs willing to practice in these states —  maternal mortality will rise. Care of other gynecological conditions such as endometriosis, infertility, fibroids and cancer will suffer. This affects the most vulnerable among us, low-income and minority patients.

My patient’s insurance would only work in Tennessee. She reminded me of my youngest daughter. I couldn’t picture her processing this information on her own. I was most worried that my patient would need to drive herself back across state lines in this fraught emotional state.

Unlike my experience on Everest, I am not choosing these risks — to my patients or to myself — of practicing under untenable circumstances where I cannot deliver optimal care.

She returned to Tennessee, where her bloodwork confirmed an ectopic pregnancy. Even though treatment of ectopic pregnancies is permitted in that state, the hospital released her without immediate treatment. Delayed care could put her at risk for impaired future fertility, emergency rather than elective surgery, and even death. I can only hope none of that happened. Treating people crossing state lines, who we cannot adequately care for ourselves, is stressful. I still think of her.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about the decision I made to go to Everest with the risks involved and the potential for trauma. I’d joined the team to experience the majesty of the Himalayas. To wake up to fine blue mountain light, live within vastness, and quell the warnings from girlhood to stay small and be safe. To this end, I made peace with the risks I was taking and ultimately grew from facing my fears. When trauma beset us, each team member grew into the best version of themselves.

My family moved to Georgia almost three decades ago, a different kind of unlikely for this city-raised girl. I grew to love the rolling hills of north Georgia, the breathtaking palette of autumn, the scent of apple cider and boiled peanuts. I learned how to cook collards — without ham — their rough stems of veins running through me.

But in the South now, we are not expanding and growing; we are shrinking, boxed in by medical practice governed by legislators, lawyers and hospital administrators. 

Unlike my experience on Everest, I am not choosing these risks — to my patients or to myself — of practicing under untenable circumstances where I cannot deliver optimal care. If I were finishing my training today and choosing somewhere to practice, I would not come to this state or anywhere with these restrictions on practice. 

I would never have predicted, when I was shivering, afraid, and alone providing care on the mountain, that I would feel threatened 36 years later by simply practicing basic healthcare in America. I couldn’t have known that after studying and working hard, I would not be able to put my education, knowledge, and skills to their best use. That I would be hampered when fulfilling the essence of my dream to care for women with skill and compassion. I couldn’t have known how alone, isolated and abandoned I would feel. Right here, at home. 

about this topic

• As more abortion bans occur, many patients must travel hundreds of miles for care — or be stranded
• Yes, some medication abortion patients go to the ER — but it may not be for what you think
• Supreme Court restricting mifepristone would be a "slippery slope" for future drugs

Mimi Zieman MD is the author of " Tap Dancing on Everest " (Falcon, April 2024), and "The Post-Roe Monologues," a play that has been performed in multiple cities. A physician, she has also co-authored sixteen editions of "Managing Contraception." Her writing has appeared in Newsweek, The Sun Magazine, Ms. Magazine, The Forward, NBC News THINK, Dorothy Parker’s Ashes, and other publications.

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Guest Essay

Elite College Admissions Have Turned Students Into Brands

By Sarah Bernstein

Ms. Bernstein is a playwright, a writing coach and an essayist in Brooklyn.

“I just can’t think of anything,” my student said.

After 10 years of teaching college essay writing, I was familiar with this reply. For some reason, when you’re asked to recount an important experience from your life, it is common to forget everything that has ever happened to you. It’s a long-form version of the anxiety that takes hold at a corporate retreat when you’re invited to say “one interesting thing about yourself,” and you suddenly believe that you are the most boring person in the entire world. Once during a version of this icebreaker, a man volunteered that he had only one kidney, and I remember feeling incredibly jealous of him.

I tried to jog this student’s memory. What about his love of music? Or his experience learning English? Or that time on a summer camping trip when he and his friends had nearly drowned? “I don’t know,” he said with a sigh. “That all seems kind of cliché.”

Applying to college has always been about standing out. When I teach college essay workshops and coach applicants one on one, I see my role as helping students to capture their voice and their way of processing the world, things that are, by definition, unique to each individual. Still, many of my students (and their parents) worry that as getting into college becomes increasingly competitive, this won’t be enough to set them apart.

Their anxiety is understandable. On Thursday, in a tradition known as “Ivy Day,” all eight Ivy League schools released their regular admission decisions. Top colleges often issue statements about how impressive (and competitive) their applicant pools were this cycle. The intention is to flatter accepted students and assuage rejected ones, but for those who have not yet applied to college, these statements reinforce the fear that there is an ever-expanding cohort of applicants with straight A’s and perfect SATs and harrowing camping trip stories all competing with one another for a vanishingly small number of spots.

This scarcity has led to a boom in the college consulting industry, now estimated to be a $2.9 billion business. In recent years, many of these advisers and companies have begun to promote the idea of personal branding — a way for teenagers to distinguish themselves by becoming as clear and memorable as a good tagline.

While this approach often leads to a strong application, students who brand themselves too early or too definitively risk missing out on the kind of exploration that will prepare them for adult life.

Like a corporate brand, the personal brand is meant to distill everything you stand for (honesty, integrity, high quality, low prices) into a cohesive identity that can be grasped at a glance. On its website, a college prep and advising company called Dallas Admissions explains the benefits of branding this way: “Each person is complex, yet admissions officers only have a small amount of time to spend learning about each prospective student. The smart student boils down key aspects of himself or herself into their personal ‘brand’ and sells that to the college admissions officer.”

Identifying the key aspects of yourself may seem like a lifelong project, but unfortunately, college applicants don’t have that kind of time. Online, there are dozens of lesson plans and seminars promising to walk students through the process of branding themselves in five to 10 easy steps. The majority begin with questions I would have found panic-inducing as a teenager, such as, “What is the story you want people to tell about you when you’re not in the room?”

Where I hoped others would describe me as “normal” or, in my wildest dreams, “cool,” today’s teenagers are expected to leave this exercise with labels like, Committed Athlete and Compassionate Leader or Environmentally Conscious Musician. Once students have a draft of their ideal self, they’re offered instructions for manifesting it (or at least, the appearance of it) in person and online. These range from common-sense tips (not posting illegal activity on social media) to more drastic recommendations (getting different friends).

It’s not just that these courses cut corners on self-discovery; it’s that they get the process backward. A personal brand is effective only if you can support it with action, so instead of finding their passion and values through experience, students are encouraged to select a passion as early as possible and then rack up the experience to substantiate it. Many college consultants suggest beginning to align your activities with your college ambitions by ninth grade, while the National Institute of Certified College Planners recommends students “talk with parents, guardians, and/or an academic adviser to create a clear plan for your education and career-related goals” in junior high.

The idea of a group of middle schoolers soberly mapping out their careers is both comical and depressing, but when I read student essays today, I can see that this advice is getting through. Over the past few years, I have been struck by how many high school seniors already have defined career goals as well as a C.V. of relevant extracurriculars to go with them. This widens the gap between wealthy students and those who lack the resources to secure a fancy research gig or start their own small business. (A shocking number of college applicants claim to have started a small business.) It also puts pressure on all students to define themselves at a moment when they are anxious to fit in and yet changing all the time.

In the world of branding, a word that appears again and again is “consistency.” If you are Charmin, that makes sense. People opening a roll of toilet paper do not want to be surprised. If you are a teenage human being, however, that is an unreasonable expectation. Changing one’s interests, opinions and presentation is a natural part of adolescence and an instructive one. I find that my students with scattershot résumés are often the most confident. They’re not afraid to push back against suggestions that ring false and will insist on revising their essay until it actually “feels like me.” On the other hand, many of my most accomplished students are so quick to accept feedback that I am wary of offering it, lest I become one more adult trying to shape them into an admission-worthy ideal.

I understand that for parents, prioritizing exploration can feel like a risky bet. Self-insight is hard to quantify and to communicate in a college application. When it comes to building a life, however, this kind of knowledge has more value than any accolade, and it cannot be generated through a brainstorming exercise in a six-step personal branding course online. To equip kids for the world, we need to provide them not just with opportunities for achievement, but with opportunities to fail, to learn, to wander and to change their minds.

In some ways, the college essay is a microcosm of modern adolescence. Depending on how you look at it, it’s either a forum for self-discovery or a high-stakes test you need to ace. I try to assure my students that it is the former. I tell them that it’s a chance to take stock of everything you’ve experienced and learned over the past 18 years and everything you have to offer as a result.

That can be a profound process. But to embark on it, students have to believe that colleges really want to see the person behind the brand. And they have to have the chance to know who that person is.

Sarah Bernstein is a playwright, a writing coach and an essayist.

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Regions Riding Forward® Scholarship Contest

Their Story. Your Voice.

Your voice is your own. But it's also been impacted by others. Who, we wonder, has inspired you? Let us know by entering the Regions Riding Forward Scholarship Contest. 

You could win an $8,000 college scholarship

For the opportunity to win an $8,000 scholarship, submit a video or written essay about an individual you know personally (who lives in your community) who has inspired you and helped you build the confidence you need to achieve your goals.

The details

The 2024 Regions Riding Forward Scholarship Contest consists of four (4) separate Quarterly Contests - one for each calendar quarter of 2024. Regions is awarding four $8,000 scholarships through each Quarterly Contest.

Each Quarterly Contest has its own separate entry period, as provided in the chart below.

The entry deadline for each Quarterly Contest is 11:59:59 PM Central Time on the applicable Quarterly Contest period end date (set forth in the chart above).

No purchase or banking relationship required.

Regions believes in supporting the students whose passion and actions every day will continue to make stories worth sharing. That’s why we have awarded over $1 million in total scholarships to high school and college students.

How to enter, 1. complete an online quarterly contest application.

Enter the Regions Riding Forward Scholarship Contest by completing a Quarterly Contest application.  The second Quarterly Contest runs from April 1, 2024 through June 30, 2024. Complete and save all requested information. 

2. Prepare your Written Essay or Video Essay

For each Quarterly Contest, the topic of your Written Essay or Video Essay (your “Essay Topic”) must be an individual you know personally, who lives in your community. Your Written Essay or Video Essay must address how the individual you have selected as your Essay Topic has inspired you and helped you build the confidence you need to achieve your goals.

Written Essay and Video Essay submissions must meet all of the requirements described in the contest Official Rules. Your Written Essay or Video Essay must be (i) in English, (ii) your own original work, created solely by you (and without the use of any means of artificial intelligence (“AI”)), and (iii) the exclusive property of you alone.

Written Essays must be 500 words or less. You can write your Written Essay directly in the application, or you can copy and paste it into the appropriate area in the application form.

Video Essay submissions must be directly uploaded to the contest application site. Video Essays must be no more than 3 minutes in length and no larger than 1 GB. Only the following file formats are accepted: MP4, MPG, MOV, AVI, and WMV. Video Essays must not contain music of any kind nor display any illegal, explicit, or inappropriate material, and Video Essays must not be password protected or require a log-in/sign-in to view. You must upload your Video Essay to the application, and you may not submit your Video Essay in DVD or other physical form. (Video Essays submitted via mail will not be reviewed or returned.)

Tips to Record Quality Videos on a Smartphone:

• Don’t shoot vertical video. Computer monitors have landscape-oriented displays, so shoot your video horizontally.
• Use a tripod. Even small movements can make a big difference when editing.
• Don’t use zoom. If you need to get a close shot of the subject, move closer as zooming can cause pixilation.
• Use natural lighting. Smartphone lighting can wash out your video.

3. Review and submit your Quarterly Contest application

Review your information on your Quarterly Application (and check the spelling of a Written Essay) and submit your entry by 11:59:59 p.m. Central Time on the applicable Quarterly Contest period end date. The second Quarterly Contest period end date is June 30, 2024.

4. Await notification

Winning entries are selected by an independent panel of judges who are not affiliated with Regions. If your entry is selected as a Quarterly Contest winner, you will need to respond to ISTS with the required information.

Eligibility

For purposes of this contest:

• The “Eligible States” are defined as the following states: Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee and Texas.
• An “accredited college” is defined as a nonprofit, two- or four-year college or university located within one of the fifty (50) United States or the District of Columbia.

To be eligible to enter this contest and to win an award in a Quarterly Contest, at the time of entry, you must:

• Be a legal U.S. resident of one of the Eligible States.
• Be age 16 or older.
• Have at least one (1) year (or at least 18 semester hours) remaining before college graduation.
• If you are not yet in college, begin your freshman year of college no later than the start of the 2025 – 2026 college academic school year.
• As of your most recent school enrollment period, have a cumulative grade point average of at least 2.0 in school (and if no GPA is provided at school, be in “good standing” or the equivalent thereof in school).

View Official Rules

NO PURCHASE OR BANKING RELATIONSHIP REQUIRED. PURCHASE OR BANKING RELATIONSHIP WILL NOT INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED. The 2024 Regions Riding Forward Scholarship Contest (the “Contest”) consists of four (4) separate quarterly contests (each a “Quarterly Contest”): (1) the “Q-1 Contest;” (2) the “Q-2 Contest;” (3) the “Q-3 Contest;” and (4) the “Q-4 Contest.” The Q-1 Contest begins on 02/01/24 and ends on 03/31/24; the Q-2 Contest begins on 04/01/24 and ends on 06/30/24; the Q-3 Contest begins on 07/01/24 and ends on 09/30/24; and the Q-4 Contest begins on 10/01/24 and ends on 12/31/24. (For each Quarterly Contest, entries must be submitted and received by 11:59:59 PM CT on the applicable Quarterly Contest period end date.) To enter and participate in a particular Quarterly Contest, at the time of entry, you must: (a) be a legal U.S. resident of one of the Eligible States; (b) be 16 years of age or older; (c) have at least one (1) year (or at least 18 semester hours) remaining before college graduation; (d) (if you are not yet in college) begin your freshman year of college no later than the start of the 2025 – 2026 college academic school year; and (e) as of your most recent school enrollment period, have a cumulative grade point average of at least 2.0 in school (and if no grade point average is provided at school, be in “good standing” or the equivalent thereof in school). (For purposes of Contest, the “Eligible States” are defined as the states of AL, AR, FL, GA, IA, IL, IN, KY, LA, MS, MO, NC, SC, TN and TX.) Visit regions.com/ridingforward for complete Contest details, including eligibility and Written Essay and Video Essay requirements and Official Rules. (Limit one (1) entry per person, per Quarterly Contest.) For each Quarterly Contest, eligible entries will be grouped according to form of entry (Written Essay or Video Essay) and judged by a panel of independent, qualified judges. A total of four (4) Quarterly Contest Prizes will be awarded in each Quarterly Contest, consisting of two (2) Quarterly Contest Prizes for the Written Essay Entry Group and two (2) Quarterly Contest Prizes for the Video Essay Entry Group. Each Quarterly Contest Prize consists of a check in the amount of $8,000 made out to winner’s designated accredited college. (Limit one (1) Quarterly Contest Prize per person; a contestant is permitted to win only one (1) Quarterly Contest Prize through the Contest.) Sponsor: Regions Bank, 1900 Fifth Ave. N., Birmingham, AL 35203.

© 2024 Regions Bank. All rights reserved. Member FDIC. Equal Housing Lender. Regions and the Regions logo are registered trademarks of Regions Bank. The LifeGreen color is a trademark of Regions Bank.

2023 Winners

High school:.

• Amyrrean Acoff
• Leon Aldridge
• Kharis Andrews
• Colton Collier
• Indya Griffin
• Christopher Hak
• Aquil Hayes
• Jayden Haynes
• McKenna Jodoin
• Paris Kelly
• Liza Latimer
• Dylan Lodle
• Anna Mammarelli
• Karrington Manley
• Marcellus Odum
• Gautami Palthepu
• Melody Small
• Lauryn Tanner
• Joshua Wilson
• Mohamed Ali
• Kayla Bellamy
• Lauren Boxx
• Alexandria Brown
• Samuel Brown
• Thurston Brown
• Conner Daehler
• Tsehai de Souza
• Anjel Echols
• Samarion Flowers
• Trinity Griffin
• Kristina Hilton
• Ryan Jensen
• Miracle Jones
• Shaniece McGhee
• Chelby Melvin
• Lamiya Ousley
• Kiera Phillips
• Gabrielle Pippins
• Ethan Snead
• Sydney Springs
• Kirsten Tilford
• Tamira Weeks
• Justin Williams

2022 Winners

• Paul Aucremann
• William Booker
• Robyn Cunningham
• Kani'ya Davis
• Oluwatomi Dugbo
• Lillian Goins
• Parker Hall
• Collin Hatfield
• Gabrielle Izu
• Kylie Lauderdale
• Jacob Milan
• Jackson Mitchell
• Carmen Moore
• Madison Morgan
• Kaden Oquelí-White
• Kaylin Parks
• Brian Perryman
• De'Marco Riggins
• Brianna Roundtree
• Sydney Russell
• Carlie Spore
• Morgan Standifer
• Ionia Thomas
• Ramaya Thomas
• Jaylen Toran
• Amani Veals
• Taylor Williams
• Alana Wilson
• Taryn Wilson
• Aryaunna Armstrong
• Hannah Blackwell
• T'Aneka Bowers
• Naomi Bradley
• Arianna Cannon
• Taylor Cline
• Catherine Cummings
• Margaret Fitzgerald
• Chloe Franklin
• Camryn Gaines
• Thomas Greer
• Kayla Helleson
• Veronica Holmes
• Logan Kurtz
• Samuel Lambert
• Jaylon Muchison
• Teresa Odom
• Andrew Payne
• Carey Price
• Emily SantiAnna
• Curtis Smith
• Jered Smith
• Mariah Standifer
• Maura Taylor
• Anna Wilkes