gay love essay

20 Must-Read Queer Essay Collections

Laura Sackton

Laura Sackton is a queer book nerd and freelance writer, known on the internet for loving winter, despising summer, and going overboard with extravagant baking projects. In addition to her work at Book Riot, she reviews for BookPage and AudioFile, and writes a weekly newsletter, Books & Bakes , celebrating queer lit and tasty treats. You can catch her on Instagram shouting about the queer books she loves and sharing photos of the walks she takes in the hills of Western Mass (while listening to audiobooks, of course).

View All posts by Laura Sackton

I love essay collections, and I love queer books, so obviously I love queer essay collections. An essay collection can be so many things. It can be an opportunity to examine one particular subject in depth. Or it can be a wonderful messy mix of dozens of themes and ideas. The books on this list are a mix of both. Some hone in on an author’s own life, while others look outward, examining current events, history, and pop culture. Some are funny, some are very serious, and some are decidedly both.

In making this list, I used two criteria: 1) queer authors and 2) queer content. There are, of course, plenty of wonderful essay collections out there by queer authors that aren’t about queerness. But this list focuses on essays that explore queerness in all its messy glory. You’ll also find essays here about many other things: tornadoes, step-parenthood, the internet, tarot, activism, online dating, to name just a few. But taken together, the essays in each of these books add up to a queer whole.

I limited myself to living authors, and even so, there were so many amazing queer essay collections I wanted to include but couldn’t. This is just a drop in the bucket, but it’s a great place to start if you need more queer essays in your life — and who doesn’t?

Personal Queer Essay Collections

How to Write An Autobiographical Novel by Alexander Chee

It’s hard for me to put my finger on the thing that elevates an essay collection from a handful of individual pieces to a cohesive book. But Chee obviously knows what that thing is, because this book builds on itself. He writes about growing roses and working odd jobs and AIDS activism and drag and writing a novel, and each of these essays is singularly moving. But as a whole they paint a complex portrait of a slice of the writer’s life. They inform and converse with each other, and the result is a book you can revisit again and again, always finding something new.

I Hope We Choose Love by Kai Cheng Thom

In this collection of beautiful and thought-provoking essays, Kai Cheng Thom explores the messy, far-from-perfect realties of queer and trans communities and community movements. She writes about what many community organizers, activists, and artists don’t want to talk about: the hard stuff, the painful stuff, the bad times. It’s not all grim, but it’s very real. Thom addresses transphobia, racism, and exclusion, but she also writes about the particular joys she’s found in creating community and family with other queer and trans people of color. This is a must-read for anyone involved in social justice work, or immersed in queer community.

Here For It by R. Eric Thomas

If you enjoy books that blend humor and heartfelt wisdom, you’ll love this collection. R. Eric Thomas writes about coming of age as a writer on the internet, his changing relationship to Christianity, the messy intersections of his queer Black identity. It’s a lovey mix of grappling and quips. It’s full of pop culture references and witty asides, as well as moving, vulnerable personal stories.

The Rib Joint by Julia Koets

This slim memoir-in-essays is entirely personal. Although Koets does weave some history, pop culture, and religion into the work — everything from the history of organs to Sally Ride — her gaze is mostly focused inward. The essays are short and beautifully written; she often leaves the analysis to the reader, simply letting distinct and sometimes contradictory ideas and images sit next to each other on the page. She writes about her childhood in the South, the hidden and often invisible queer relationships she had as a teenager and young adult, secrets and closets, and the tensions and overlaps between religion and queerness.

I Can’t Date Jesus by Michael Arceneaux

This is another fantastic humorous essay collection. Arceneaux somehow manages to be laugh-out-loud funny while also delivering nuanced cultural critique and telling vulnerable stories from his life. He writes about growing up in Houston, family relationships, coming out, and so much more. The whole book wrestles with how to be a young Black queer person striving to make meaning in the world. His second collection, I Don’t Want to Die Poor , is equally wonderful.

Tomboyland by Melissa Faliveno

If you’re wondering, this is the book that contains an essay about tornadoes. It also contains a gorgeous essay about pantry moths (among other things). Those are just two of the many subjects Faliveno plumbs the depths of in this remarkable book. She writes about gender expression and how her relationship with gender has changed throughout her life, about queer desire and family, about Midwestern culture, about place and home, about bisexuality and bi erasure. Her far-ranging essays challenge mainstream ideas about what queer lives do and do not look like. She asks more questions than she answers, delving into the murky terrain of desire and identity.

Something That May Shock and Discredit You by Daniel M. Lavery

Is this book even an essay collection? It is, and it isn’t. Some of these pieces are deeply personal stories about Lavery’s experience with transition. Others are trans retellings of mythology, literature, and film. All of it is weird and smart and impossibly to classify. Lavery examines the idea of transition from every angle, creating new stories about trans history, trans identity, and transformation itself.

Brown White Black by Nishta J. Mehra

If there’s one thing I love most in an essay collection, it’s when an author allows contradictions and messy, fraught truths to live next to each other on the page. I love when an essayist asks more questions than they answer. That’s what Mehra does in this book. An Indian American woman married to a white woman and raising a Black son, she writes with openness and curiosity about her particular family. She explores how race, sexuality, gender, class, and religion impact her life and most intimate relationships, as well as American culture more broadly.

Blood, Marriage, Wine, & Glitter by S. Bear Bergman

This essay collection is an embodiment of queer joy, of what it means to become part of a queer family. Every essay captures some aspect of the complexity and joy that is queer family-making. Bergman writes about being a trans parent, about beloved friends, about the challenges of partnership, about intimacy in myriad forms. His tone is warm and open-hearted and joyful and celebratory.

Forty-Three Septembers by Jewelle Gómez

In these contemplative essays, Jewell Gómez explores the various pieces of her life as a Black lesbian, writing about family, aging, and her own history. Into these personal stories she weaves an analysis of history and current events. She writes about racism and homophobia, both within and outside of queer and Black communities, and about her life as an artist and poet, and how those identities, too, have shaped the way she sees the world.

Pass With Care by Cooper Lee Bombardier

Set mostly against the backdrop of queer culture in 1990s San Francisco, this memoir in essays is about trans identity, being an artist, masculinity, queer activism, and so much more. Bombardier brings particular places and times to life (San Francisco in the 1990s, but other places as well), but he also connects those times and experiences to the present in really interesting ways. He recognizes the importance of queer and trans history, while also exploring the possibilities of queer and trans futures.

Care Work by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

This is a beautiful, rigorous collection of essays about disability justice centering disabled queer and trans people of color. From an exploration of the radical care collectives Piepzna-Samarasinha and other queer and trans BIPOC have organized to an essay where examines the problems with the “survivor industrial complex,” every one of these pieces is full of wisdom, anger, transformation, radical celebration. It challenged me on so many levels, in the best possible way. It’s a must read for anyone engaged in any kind of activist work.

I’m Afraid of Men by Vivek Shraya

I’m cheating a little bit here, because technically I’d classify this book as one essay, singular, rather than a collection of essays. But I’m including it anyway, because it is brilliant, and because I think it exemplifies just what a good essay can do, what a powerful form of writing it can be. By reflection on various experiences Shraya has had with men over the course of her life, she examines the connections and intersections between sexism, transmisogyny, toxic masculinity, and sexual violence. It’s a heavy read, but Shraya’s writing is anything but. It’s agile and graceful, flowing and jumping between disparate thoughts and ideas. This is a book-length essay you can read in one sitting, but it’ll leave you with enough to think about for many days afterward.

Gender Failure by Ivan E. Coyote and Rae Spoon

In this collaborative essay collection, trans writers and performers Ivan E. Coyote and Rae Spoon play with both gender and form. The book is a combination of personal essays, short vignettes, song lyrics, and images. Using these various kinds of storytelling, they both recount their own particular journeys around gender — how their genders have changed throughout their lives, the ways the gender binary has continually harmed them both, and the many communities, people, and experiences that have contributed to joyful self-expression and gender freedom.

The Groom Will Keep His Name by Matt Ortile

Matt Ortile uses his experiences as a gay Filipino immigrant as a lens in these witty, insightful, and moving essays. By telling his own stories — of dating, falling in love, struggling to “fit in” — he illuminates the intersections among so many issues facing America right now (and always). He writes about the model minority myth and many other myths he told himself about assimilation, sex, power, what it means to be an American. It’s a heartfelt collection of personal essays that engage meaningfully, and critically, with the wider world.

Wow, No Thank You by Samantha Irby

I’m not a big fan of humorous essays in this vein, heavy on pop culture references I do not understand and full of snark. But I absolutely love Irby’s books, which is about the highest praise I can give. I honestly think there is something in here for everyone. Irby is just so very much herself: she writes about whatever the hell she wants to, whether that’s aging or the weirdness of small town America or snacks (there is a lot to say about snacks). And whatever the subject, she’s always got something funny or insightful or new or just super relatable to say.

Queer Essay Anthologies

She Called Me Woman Edited by Azeenarh Mohammed, Chitra Nagarajan, and Aisha Salau

This anthology collects 30 first-person narratives by queer Nigerian women. The essays reflect a range of experiences, capturing the challenges that queer Nigerian women face, as well as the joyful lives and communities they’ve built. The essays explore sexuality, spirituality, relationships, money, love, societal expectations, gender expression, and so much more.

Untangling the Knot: Queer Voices on Marriage, Relationships & Identity by Carter Sickels

When gay marriage was legalized, I felt pretty ambivalent about it, even though I knew I was supposed to be excited. But I have never wanted or cared about marriage. Reading this book made me feel so seen. That’s not to say it’s anti-marriage — it isn’t! It’s a collection of personal essays from a diverse range of queer people about the families they’ve made. Some are traditional. Some are not. The essays are about marriages and friendships, parenthood and siblinghood, polyamorous relationships and monogamous ones. It’s a book that celebrates the different forms queer families take, never valuing any one kind of family or relationship over another.

Nonbinary: Memoirs of Gender and Identity Edited by Micah Rajunov and Scott Duane

This book collects essays from 30 nonbinary writers, and trans and gender-nonconforming writers whose genders fall outside the binary. The writers inhabit a diverse range of identity and experience in terms of race, age, class, sexuality. Some of the essays are explicitly about gender identity, others are about family and relationships, and still others are about activism and politics. As a whole, the book celebrates the expansiveness of trans experiences, and the many ways there are to inhabit a body.

Moving Truth(s): Queer and Transgender Desi Writings on Family Edited by Aparajeeta ‘Sasha’ Duttchoudhury and Rukie Hartman

This anthology brings together a collection of diverse essays by queer and trans Desi writers. The pieces explore family in all its shapes and iterations. Contributors write about community, friendship, culture, trauma, healing. It’s a wonderfully nuanced collection. Though there is a thread that runs through the whole book — queer and trans Desi identity — the range of viewpoints, styles and experiences represented makes it clear how expansive identity is.

Looking for more queer books? I made a list of 40 of my favorites . If you’re looking for more essay collections to add to your list, check out 10 Must-Read Essay Collections by Women , and The Best Essays from 2019 . And if you’re not in the mood for a whole book right now, why not try one of these free essays available online (including some great queer ones)?

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The Greatest Queer Love Letters of All Time

By maria popova.

UPDATE: Since this piece was originally published in 2014, more gorgeous additions to this canon of the heart’s radiance have come to light: Emily Dickinson to Susan Gilbert , Herman Melville to Nathaniel Hawthorne , Tove Jansson to Tuulikki Pietilä , Iris Murdoch to Brigid Brophy , and John Cage to Merce Cunningham .

As we turn the leaf on a new chapter of modern history that embraces a more inclusive definition of love — both culturally and, at last, politically — here is a celebration of the human heart’s highest capacity through history’s most beautiful and timelessly bewitching LGBTQ love letters.

VIRGINIA WOOLF AND VITA SACKVILLE-WEST

Look here Vita — throw over your man, and we’ll go to Hampton Court and dine on the river together and walk in the garden in the moonlight and come home late and have a bottle of wine and get tipsy, and I’ll tell you all the things I have in my head, millions, myriads — They won’t stir by day, only by dark on the river. Think of that. Throw over your man, I say, and come.

On January 21, Vita sends Virginia this disarmingly honest, heartfelt, and unguarded letter, which stands in beautiful contrast with Virginia’s passionate prose:

I am reduced to a thing that wants Virginia. I composed a beautiful letter to you in the sleepless nightmare hours of the night, and it has all gone: I just miss you, in a quite simple desperate human way. You, with all your undumb letters, would never write so elementary a phrase as that; perhaps you wouldn’t even feel it. And yet I believe you’ll be sensible of a little gap. But you’d clothe it in so exquisite a phrase that it should lose a little of its reality. Whereas with me it is quite stark: I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal. So this letter is really just a squeal of pain. It is incredible how essential to me you have become. I suppose you are accustomed to people saying these things. Damn you, spoilt creature; I shan’t make you love me any more by giving myself away like this — But oh my dear, I can’t be clever and stand-offish with you: I love you too much for that. Too truly. You have no idea how stand-offish I can be with people I don’t love. I have brought it to a fine art. But you have broken down my defenses. And I don’t really resent it.

On the day of Orlando ’s publication, Vita received a package containing not only the printed book, but also Virginia’s original manuscript, bound specifically for her in Niger leather and engraved with her initials on the spine.

MARGARET MEAD AND RUTH BENEDICT

Margaret’s love letters to Ruth, posthumously gathered in To Cherish the Life of the World: Selected Letters of Margaret Mead ( public library ) — which also gave us Mead’s prescient position on homosexuality — are a thing of absolute, soul-stirring beauty, on par with such famed epistolary romances as those between Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera , Georgia O’Keeffe and Alfred Stieglitz , Henry Miller and Anaïs Nin , and Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir .

In August of 1925, 24-year-old Mead sailed to Samoa, beginning the journey that would produce her enormously influential treatise Coming of Age in Samoa: A Psychological Study of Primitive Youth for Western Civilisation . (Mead, who believed that “one can love several people and that demonstrative affection has its place in different types of relationship,” was married at the time to her first husband and they had an unconventional arrangement that both allowed her to do field work away from him for extended periods of time and accommodated her feelings for Ruth.) On her fourth day at sea, she writes Benedict with equal parts devotion and urgency:

Ruth, dear heart, . . . The mail which I got just before leaving Honolulu and in my steamer mail could not have been better chosen. Five letters from you — and, oh, I hope you may often feel me near you as you did — resting so softly and sweetly in your arms. Whenever I am weary and sick with longing for you I can always go back and recapture that afternoon out at Bedford Hills this spring, when your kisses were rained down on my face, and that memory ends always in peace, beloved.

A few days later:

Ruth, I was never more earthborn in my life — and yet never more conscious of the strength your love gives me. You have convinced me of the one thing in life which made living worthwhile. You have no greater gift, darling. And every memory of your face, every cadence of your voice is joy whereon I shall feed hungrily in these coming months.

In another letter:

[I wonder] whether I could manage to go on living, to want to go on living if you did not care.

Does Honolulu need your phantom presence? Oh, my darling — without it, I could not live here at all. Your lips bring blessings — my beloved.

In December of that year, Mead was offered a position as assistant curator at the American Museum of Natural History, where she would go on to spend the rest of her career. She excitedly accepted, in large part so that she could at last be closer to Benedict, and moved to New York with her husband, Luther Cressman, firmly believing that the two relationships would neither harm nor contradict one another. As soon as the decision was made, she wrote to Benedict on January 7, 1926:

Your trust in my decision has been my mainstay, darling, otherwise I just couldn’t have managed. And all this love which you have poured out to me is very bread and wine to my direct need. Always, always I am coming back to you. I kiss your hair, sweetheart.

Four days later, Mead sends Benedict a poignant letter, reflecting on her two relationships and how love crystallizes of its own volition:

In one way this solitary existence is particularly revealing — in the way I can twist and change in my attitudes towards people with absolutely no stimulus at all except such as springs from within me. I’ll awaken some morning just loving you frightfully much in some quite new way and I may not have sufficiently rubbed the sleep from my eyes to have even looked at your picture. It gives me a strange, almost uncanny feeling of autonomy. And it is true that we have had this loveliness “near” together for I never feel you too far away to whisper to, and your dear hair is always just slipping through my fingers. . . . When I do good work it is always always for you … and the thought of you now makes me a little unbearably happy.

Five weeks later, in mid-February, Mead and Benedict begin planning a three-week getaway together, which proves, thanks to their husbands’ schedules, to be more complicated than the two originally thought. Exasperated over all the planning, Margaret writes Ruth:

I’ll be so blinded by looking at you, I think now it won’t matter — but the lovely thing about our love is that it will. We aren’t like those lovers of Edward’s “now they are sleeping cheek to cheek” etc. who forgot all the things their love had taught them to love — Precious, precious. I kiss your hair.

By mid-March, Mead is once again firmly rooted in her love for Benedict:

I feel immensely freed and sustained, the dark months of doubt washed away, and that I can look you gladly in the eyes as you take me in your arms. My beloved! My beautiful one. I thank God you do not try to fence me off, but trust me to take life as it comes and make something of it. With that trust of yours I can do anything — and come out with something precious saved. Sweet, I kiss your hands.

As the summer comes, Mead finds herself as in love with Benedict as when they first met six years prior, writing in a letter dated August 26, 1926:

Ruth dearest, I am very happy and an enormous number of cobwebs seem to have been blown away in Paris. I was so miserable that last day, I came nearer doubting than ever before the essentially impregnable character of our affection for each other. And now I feel at peace with the whole world. You may think it is tempting the gods to say so, but I take all this as high guarantee of what I’ve always temperamentally doubted — the permanence of passion — and the mere turn of your head, a chance inflection of your voice have just as much power to make the day over now as they did four years ago. And so just as you give me zest for growing older rather than dread, so also you give me a faith I never thought to win in the lastingness of passion. I love you, Ruth.

In September of 1928, as Mead travels by train to marry her second husband after her first marriage crumbled, another bittersweet letter to Ruth leaves us speculating about what might have been different had the legal luxuries of modern love been a reality in Mead’s day, making it possible for her and Ruth to marry and formalize their steadfast union under the law:

Darling, […] I’ve slept mostly today trying to get rid of this cold and not to look at the country which I saw first from your arms. Mostly, I think I’m a fool to marry anyone. I’ll probably just make a man and myself unhappy. Right now most of my daydreams are concerned with not getting married at all. I wonder if wanting to marry isn’t just another identification with you, and a false one. For I couldn’t have taken you away from Stanley and you could take me away from [Reo] — there’s no blinking that. […] Beside the strength and permanence and all enduring feeling which I have for you, everything else is shifting sand. Do you mind terribly when I say these things? You mustn’t mind — ever — anything in the most perfect gift God has given me. The center of my life is a beautiful walled place, if the edges are a little weedy and ragged — well, it’s the center which counts — My sweetheart, my beautiful, my lovely one. Your Margaret

By 1933, despite the liberal arrangements of her marriage, Mead felt that it forcibly squeezed out of her the love she had for Benedict. In a letter to Ruth from April 9, she reflects on those dynamics and gasps at the relief of choosing to break free of those constraints and being once again free to love fully:

Having laid aside so much of myself, in response to what I mistakenly believed was the necessity of my marriage I had no room for emotional development. … Ah, my darling, it is so good to really be all myself to love you again. . . . The moon is full and the lake lies still and lovely — this place is like Heaven — and I am in love with life. Goodnight, darling.

Over the years that followed, both Margaret and Ruth explored the boundaries of their other relationships, through more marriages and domestic partnerships, but their love for each other only continued to grow. In 1938, Mead captured it beautifully by writing of “the permanence of [their] companionship.” Mead and her last husband, Gregory Bateson, named Benedict the guardian of their daughter. The two women shared their singular bond until Benedict’s sudden death from a heart attack in 1948. In one of her final letters, Mead wrote:

Always I love you and realize what a desert life might have been without you.

See more of their gorgeous correspondence here .

ALLEN GINSBERG AND PETER ORLOVSKY

Their letters, filled with typos, missing punctuation, and the grammatical oddities typical of writing propelled by bursts of intense emotion rather than literary precision, are absolutely beautiful.

In a letter from January 20, 1958, Ginsberg writes to Orlovsky from Paris, recounting a visit with his close friend and fellow beatnik, William S. Burroughs , another icon of literature’s gay subculture:

Dear Petey: O Heart O Love everything is suddenly turned to gold! Don’t be afraid don’t worry the most astounding beautiful thing has happened here! I don’t know where to begin but the most important. When Bill [ ed: William S. Burroughs ] came I, we, thought it was the same old Bill mad, but something had happened to Bill in the meantime since we last saw him . . . . but last night finally Bill and I sat down facing each other across the kitchen table and looked eye to eye and talked, and I confessed all my doubt and misery — and in front of my eyes he turned into an Angel! What happened to him in Tangiers this last few months? It seems he stopped writing and sat on his bed all afternoons thinking and meditating alone & stopped drinking — and finally dawned on his consciousness, slowly and repeatedly, every day, for several months — awareness of “a benevolent sentient (feeling) center to the whole Creation” — he had apparently, in his own way, what I have been so hung up in myself and you, a vision of big peaceful Lovebrain. . . . I woke up this morning with great bliss of freedom & joy in my heart, Bill’s saved, I’m saved, you’re saved, we’re all saved, everything has been all rapturous ever since — I only feel sad that perhaps you left as worried when we waved goodby and kissed so awkwardly — I wish I could have that over to say goodby to you happier & without the worries and doubts I had that dusty dusk when you left… — Bill is changed nature, I even feel much changed, great clouds rolled away, as I feel when you and I were in rapport, well, our rapport has remained in me, with me, rather than losing it, I’m feeling to everyone, something of the same as between us.

A couple of weeks later, in early February, Orlovsky sends a letter to Ginsberg from New York, in which he writes with beautiful prescience:

…dont worry dear Allen things are going ok — we’ll change the world yet to our dessire — even if we got to die — but OH the world’s got 25 rainbows on my window sill. . . .

As soon as he receives the letter the day after Valentine’s Day, Ginsberg writes back, quoting Shakespeare like only a love-struck poet would:

I have been running around with mad mean poets & world-eaters here & was longing for kind words from heaven which you wrote, came as fresh as a summer breeze & “when I think on thee dear friend / all loses are restored & sorrows end,” came over & over in my mind — it’s the end of a Shakespeare Sonnet — he must have been happy in love too. I had never realized that before. . . . Write me soon baby, I’ll write you big long poem I feel as if you were god that I pray to — Love, Allen

In another letter sent nine days later, Ginsberg writes:

I’m making it all right here, but I miss you, your arms & nakedness & holding each other — life seems emptier without you, the soulwarmth isn’t around. . . .

Citing another conversation he had had with Burroughs, he goes on to presage the enormous leap for the dignity and equality of love that we’ve only just seen more than half a century after Ginsberg wrote this:

Bill thinks new American generation will be hip & will slowly change things — laws & attitudes, he has hope there — for some redemption of America, finding its soul. . . . — you have to love all life, not just parts, to make the eternal scene, that’s what I think since we’ve made it, more & more I see it isn’t just between us, it’s feeling that can [be] extended to everything. Tho I long for the actual sunlight contact between us I miss you like a home. Shine back honey & think of me.

He ends the letter with a short verse:

Goodbye Mr. February. as tender as ever swept with warm rain love from your Allen

EDNA ST. VINCENT MILLAY AND EDITH WYNN MATTHISON

Listen; if ever in my letters to you, or in my conversation, you see a candor that seems almost crude, — please know that it is because when I think of you I think of real things, & become honest, — and quibbling and circumvention seem very inconsiderable.

In another, she pleads:

I will do whatever you tell me to do. … Love me, please; I love you. I can bear to be your friend. So ask of me anything. … But never be ‘tolerant,’ or ‘kind.’ And never say to me again — don’t dare to say to me again — ‘Anyway, you can make a trial’ of being friends with you! Because I can’t do things that way. … I am conscious only of doing the thing that I love to do — that I have to do — and I have to be your friend.

In yet another, Millay articulates brilliantly the “proud surrender” at the heart of every materialized infatuation and every miracle of “real, honest, complete love” :

You wrote me a beautiful letter, — I wonder if you meant it to be as beautiful as it was. — I think you did; for somehow I know that your feeling for me, however slight it is, is of the nature of love. … nothing that has happened to me for a long time has made me so happy as I shall be to visit you sometime. — You must not forget that you spoke of that, — because it would disappoint me cruelly. … I shall try to bring a few quite nice things with me; I will get together all that I can, and then when you tell me to come, I will come, by the next train, just as I am. This is not meekness, be assured; I do not come naturally by meekness; know that it is a proud surrender to you; I don’t talk like that to many people. With love, Vincent Millay

ELEANOR ROOSEVELT AND LORENA HICKOK

But her personal life has been the subject of lasting controversy.

In the summer of 1928, Roosevelt met journalist Lorena Hickok , whom she would come to refer to as Hick. The thirty-year relationship that ensued has remained the subject of much speculation, from the evening of FDR’s inauguration, when the First Lady was seen wearing a sapphire ring Hickok had given her, to the opening up of her private correspondence archives in 1998. Though many of the most explicit letters had been burned, the 300 published in Empty Without You: The Intimate Letters Of Eleanor Roosevelt And Lorena Hickok ( public library ) — at once less unequivocal than history’s most revealing woman-to-woman love letters and more suggestive than those of great female platonic friendships — strongly indicate the relationship between Roosevelt and Hickok had been one of great romantic intensity.

On March 5, 1933, the first evening of FDR’s inauguration, Roosevelt wrote Hick:

Hick my dearest– I cannot go to bed tonight without a word to you. I felt a little as though a part of me was leaving tonight. You have grown so much to be a part of my life that it is empty without you.

Then, the following day:

Hick, darling Ah, how good it was to hear your voice. It was so inadequate to try and tell you what it meant. Funny was that I couldn’t say je t’aime and je t’adore as I longed to do, but always remember that I am saying it, that I go to sleep thinking of you.

And the night after:

Hick darling All day I’ve thought of you & another birthday I will be with you, & yet tonite you sounded so far away & formal. Oh! I want to put my arms around you, I ache to hold you close. Your ring is a great comfort. I look at it & think “she does love me, or I wouldn’t be wearing it!”

And in yet another letter:

I wish I could lie down beside you tonight & take you in my arms.

Hick herself responded with equal intensity. In a letter from December 1933, she wrote:

I’ve been trying to bring back your face — to remember just how you look. Funny how even the dearest face will fade away in time. Most clearly I remember your eyes, with a kind of teasing smile in them, and the feeling of that soft spot just north-east of the corner of your mouth against my lips.

Granted, human dynamics are complex and ambiguous enough even for those directly involved, making it hard to assume anything with absolute certainty from the sidelines of an epistolary relationship long after the correspondents’ deaths. But wherever on the spectrum of the platonic and romantic the letters in Empty Without You may fall, they offer a beautiful record of a tender, steadfast, deeply loving relationship between two women who meant the world to one another, even if the world never quite condoned or understood their profound connection.

OSCAR WILDE AND SIR ALFRED “BOSIE” DOUGLAS

In June of 1891, Wilde met Lord Alfred “Bosie” Douglas, a 21-year-old Oxford undergraduate and talented poet, who would come to be the author’s own Dorian Gray — his literary muse, his evil genius, his restless lover. It was during the course of their affair that Wilde wrote Salomé and the four great plays which to this day endure as the cornerstones of his legacy. Their correspondence, collected Oscar Wilde: A Life in Letters ( public library ), makes for an infinitely inspired addition to the most beautiful love letters exchanged between history’s greatest creative and intellectual power couples.

In January of 1893, Wilde writes to Bosie:

My Own Boy, Your sonnet is quite lovely, and it is a marvel that those red rose-leaf lips of yours should be made no less for the madness of music and song than for the madness of kissing. Your slim gilt soul walks between passion and poetry. I know Hyacinthus, whom Apollo loved so madly, was you in Greek days. Why are you alone in London, and when do you go to Salisbury? Do go there to cool your hands in the grey twilight of Gothic things, and come here whenever you like. It is a lovely place and lacks only you; but go to Salisbury first. Always, with undying love, yours, Oscar

In early March of 1893, Wilde channels love’s exasperating sense of urgency:

Dearest of All Boys — Your letter was delightful — red and yellow wine to me — but I am sad and out of sorts — Bosie — you must not make scenes with me — they kill me — they wreck the loveliness of life — I cannot see you , so Greek and gracious, distorted with passion; I cannot listen to your curved lips saying hideous things to me — don’t do it — you break my heart — I’d sooner be rented* all day, than have you bitter, unjust, and horrid — horrid. I must see you soon — you are the divine thing I want — the thing of grace and genius — but but I don’t know how to do it — Shall I come to Salisbury — ? There are many difficulties — my bill here is £49 for a week! I have also got a new sitting-room over the Thames — but you, why are you not here, my dear, my wonderful boy — ? I fear I must leave; no money, no credit, and a heart of lead — Ever your own, Oscar

* “renter” was slang for male prostitute in London

Their affair was intense, bustling with dramatic tempestuousness, but underpinning it was a profound and genuine love. In a letter from late December of 1893, after a recent rift, Wilde writes to Douglas:

My dearest Boy, Thanks for your letter. I am overwhelmed by the wings of vulture creditors, and out of sorts, but I am happy in the knowledge that we are friends again, and that our love has passed through the shadow and the light of estrangement and sorrow and come out rose-crowned as of old. Let us always be infinitely dear to each other, as indeed we have been always. […] I think of you daily, and am always devotedly yours. Oscar

In July of the following year, Wilde writes:

My own dear Boy, I hope the cigarettes arrived all right. I lunched with Gladys de Grey, Reggie and Aleck York there. They want me to go to Paris with them on Thursday: they say one wears flannels and straw hats and dines in the Bois, but, of course, I have no money, as usual, and can’t go. Besides, I want to see you. It is really absurd. I can’t live without you . You are so dear, so wonderful. I think of you all day long, and miss your grace, your boyish beauty, the bright sword-play of your wit, the delicate fancy of your genius, so surprising always in its sudden swallow-flights towards north and south, towards sun and moon — and, above all, yourself. The only thing that consoles me is what Sybil of Mortimer Street (whom mortals call Mrs. Robinson) said to me*. If I could disbelieve her I would, but I can’t, and I know that early in January you and I will go away together for a long voyage, and that your lovely life goes always hand in hand with mine. My dear wonderful boy, I hope you are brilliant and happy. I went to Bertie, today I wrote at home, then went and sat with my mother. Death and Love seem to walk on either hand as I go through life: they are the only things I think of, their wings shadow me. London is a desert without your dainty feet… Write me a line and take all my love — now and for ever. Always, and with devotion — but I have no words for how I love you. Oscar

* The fortuneteller’s prophesy apparently came true — Wilde and Douglas travelled to Algiers together the following January.

In 1895, at the height of his literary success, with his masterpiece The Importance of Being Earnest drawing continuous acclaim across the stages of London, Wilde had Douglas’s father, the Marquess of Queensberry, prosecuted for libel. But the evidence unearthed during the trial led to Wilde’s own arrest on charges of “gross indecency” with members of the same sex. Two more trials followed, after which he was sentenced for two years of “hard labor” in prison. On April 29 of that year, having hit emotional and psychological rock-bottom, his reputation ruined and his health deteriorating, Wilde wrote to Douglas on the eve of the final trial:

My dearest boy, This is to assure you of my immortal, my eternal love for you. Tomorrow all will be over. If prison and dishonour be my destiny, think that my love for you and this idea, this still more divine belief, that you love me in return will sustain me in my unhappiness and will make me capable, I hope, of bearing my grief most patiently. Since the hope, nay rather the certainty, of meeting you again in some world is the goal and the encouragement of my present life, ah! I must continue to live in this world because of that.

Another letter, written on August 31, 1897, shortly after Wilde’s release from prison, reads:

Café Suisse, Dieppe Tuesday, 7:30 My own Darling Boy, I got your telegram half an hour ago, and just send a line to say that I feel that my only hope of again doing beautiful work in art is being with you. It was not so in the old days, but now it is different, and you can really recreate in me that energy and sense of joyous power on which art depends. Everyone is furious with me for going back to you, but they don’t understand us. I feel that it is only with you that I can do anything at all. Do remake my ruined life for me, and then our friendship and love will have a different meaning to the world. I wish that when we met at Rouen we had not parted at all. There are such wide abysses now of space and land between us. But we love each other. Goodnight, dear. Ever yours, Oscar

But perhaps the most eloquent articulation of their relationship comes from a letter Wilde wrote to Leonard Smithers — a Sheffield solicitor with a side business of printing erotica, who became the only publisher interested in Wilde’s books in his post-prison years — on October 1, 1897:

How can you keep on asking is Lord Alfred Douglas in Naples? You know quite well he is — we are together. He understands me and my art, and loves both. I hope never to be separated from him. He is a most delicate and exquisite poet, besides — far the finest of all the young poets in England. You have got to publish his next volume; it is full of lovely lyrics, flute-music and moon-music, and sonnets in ivory and gold. He is witty, graceful, lovely to look at, lovable to be with. He has also ruined my life, so I can’t help loving him — it is the only thing to do.

More of their exquisite correspondence appears in Oscar Wilde: A Life in Letters , but that one sentence alone — “He understands me and my art, and loves both.” — is an immeasurably beautiful addition to history’s most profound definitions of love , a sublime manifestation of the highest hope one creative soul can have for a union with another.

— Published February 14, 2014 — https://www.themarginalian.org/2014/02/14/greatest-queer-love-letters/ —

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What LGBTQ+ Relationships Can Teach Us About Love

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As we reach LGBTQ+ history month, there’s no better time to look back on the lessons we’ve learnt along the way – not least on our ability to bring about rapid social, cultural and legal changes via respectful debate, patience and listening to the views or our opponents.

I’d also like to take this opportunity to acknowledge how, in doing so, the LGBTQ+ community has learnt a lot about what makes relationships work, and researchers now have hundreds of studies under their belt for why this is.

Download the Paired app for LGBTQ+ dating and relationship advice , daily questions, quizzes and more.

A study published by the Open University has found that gay couples are likely to be happier in their relationships than their heterosexual counterparts and several reasons have been posed, from less gender stereotypes featuring in the relationship to a historical predisposition for inner reflexiveness.

Let’s take a look at few more lessons to learn from our same-sex counterparts.

Lesson 1: A fairer split of household jobs

Gender stereotypes can be a breeding ground for dissatisfaction in relationships. Inequalities in pay, expectations around childcare and historical perceptions of gender roles at home can all cause resentment, miscommunication and tension.

According to a study authored by Daniel Carlson and colleagues, relationship quality and stability is generally highest when couples are happy with their divisions of labor and find them equitable and fair. This is often the case with same-sex couples. In their study, Abbie E. Goldberg and Maureen Perry-Jenkins found that same-sex couples are much more willing to share traditionally ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’ roles at home alongside routine tasks.

In contrast, research on heterosexual relationships consistently shows that the responsibility for domestic chores falls disproportionately onto women. Men are far more likely to overestimate the time they spend on chores, while women underestimate their time.

LGBTQ+ parents are also more likely to mutually interact with their children, whereas in heterosexual relationships, parentood can highlight further gender divides in the division of household jobs. While women are now an essential part of the labour market and often work as many hours as their male partners, they are still expected to put in a ‘second shift’ back at home.

In essence, LGBTQ+ couples don’t have cultural norms, predefined gender roles or stereotypes to fall back on when it comes to splitting labor at home, so they must find a balance that feels fair to them, talk through their preferences, and negotiate their individual schedules and commitments to agree to an even split.

Lesson 2: Celebrate your sexuality

LGBTQ+ people have faced centuries of prejudice – and still face it today, even from friends, family and work colleagues. Yet, the fight for equality has pushed LGBTQ+ communities to truly celebrate their sexuality and gender, take pride in it and explore what it really means – something heterosexual or cisgender couples may take for granted.

One caveat here is that this celebration of sexuality doesn't always apply to the public arena. The Open University study found that LGBTQ+ partners were less likely to show affection in public, often caused by fears around social stigma and personal safety. Living in a society where your wellbeing is at risk takes bravery and courage to be who you are. It also requires you to own your vulnerabilities and be sensitive to those of your partner.

Heterosexual couples seldom, if ever, sit down and talk about their sexuality or how they celebrate this in public. Yet being attentive to a partner’s sense of personal comfort around public displays of affection (PDA) is beneficial for any relationship, whatever the couple’s sexuality.

Lesson 3: Think outside the box

As the research on gender roles suggests, outdated socio-cultural norms can structure the couple dynamic in heterosexual relationships resulting in imbalances in power and unfairness in the domestic division of labour. This is likely to cause resentment and conflict.

LGBTQ+ couples, on the other hand, are more willing to think outside the box of what a typical relationship should look like and be more open to non-traditional relationship models. They are more likely to resist social norms in their partnerships and embrace polyamory and non-monogamy, for example, than heterosexual couples are.

The lack of social scripts and cultural templates give LGBTQ+ partners a chance to make their own rules. Not being bound to social expectations allows them to create a relationship of their own making rather than be limited by what they’ve been told it should be. LGBTQ+ partners can make their own traditions, celebrations and relationship priorities.

Heterosexual could perhaps take a leaf out the the LGBTQ+ relationship rule book or discard the book altogether. Psychologist and author Meg-John Barker suggests that all couples can rewrite the rules, for example practicing 'new monogamy', alternative commitment ceremonies, and different ways of understanding gender, and that this can generate novel ideas for managing conflict and improving their connection together.

Lesson 4: Establish boundaries

One of the most common causes of relationship dissatisfaction is frustration caused by uncommunicated boundaries and expectations. We often forget to have these discussions because our partner is supposed to already know and act on our needs and wants.

In our ‘Enduring Love?’ study, we found that acknowledging that a partner is not adept at mind-reading facilitated open communication that resulted in a greater sense of togetherness. Talking over and establishing healthy boundaries in a relationship created limits and guidelines which allowed both partners to feel comfortable.

LGBTQ+ couples are well practiced in working out boundaries in their relationships. This can open up the conversation around public displays of affection to be more attentive to a partner’s sense of self and emotional security, or start a discussion around the boundaries of consensual non-monogamous relationships.

A study by Colleen Hoff and Sean Beougher found that many gay couples spend time working out detailed agreements about what kinds of sexual contact are permissible outside the relationship, under what conditions or circumstances and how often. This fostered a sense of trust and openness in the relationship that extended beyond sex and intimacy.

Lesson 5. Communicate positively

While negativity bias can often make us focus on our weaknesses or irritations, the benefits of positive thinking can significantly improve our psychological and physical wellbeing.

According to a study led by Giuseppina Valle Holway, LGBTQ+ couples show a tendency to manage disagreements in a more positive way, being more likely to use praise and encouragement rather than criticism, blame or nagging – and are happier in return.

This corroborates other research which has shown that giving praise is a core factor in relationship happiness. One study revealed that couples who communicate partners’ achievements and strengths were more committed to each other, more hopeful of the future, and experienced a greater sense of intimacy. Plus, partners felt more confident and motivated to reciprocate these strengths in return. And Dr Terri Orbuch’s study of long-term couples, on the other hand, found that men were twice as likely to break up with their partners if they didn’t get affirmation often.

Lesson 6: Talk openly about sex

Studies show that heterosexual couples are particularly likely to believe that they “should” know all about each other, sexually, without discussing it. In fact, one of Dr. John Gottman’s laboratory studies found that when listening into heterosexual couple’s conversations, third parties couldn’t tell what heterosexual couples were discussing, even when the couples had been instructed to talk about sex.

Same-sex couples, on the other hand, tend to speak about their sexual wants and needs specifically, often, and throughout their relationship. They devote time and energy into de-stigmatizing sex, sexual activity and sexual body parts. They start from a position of wanting to learn about a partner’s eroticism and desires rather than taking them for granted. And this sexual conversation style results in more satisfying sex – emotionally and physically.

As sex writer Dan Savage says, gay couples often ask, “What are you into?” – these four "magic” words are something that most straight couples simply don’t use.

Lesson 7: Be reflexive

Because “taken for grantedness” is not an option that is available for LGBTQ+ couples, research by Jeffrey Weeks and colleagues has shown how they are more likely to think about what they’re doing and why they’re doing.

LGBTQ+ couples are therefore more reflexive, they actively and explicitly work through – together – how they want their relationship to work.

In their study of young same-sex couples’ decision-making around commitment ceremonies, Brian Heaphy and colleagues found that young LGBTQ+ people expressed highly emotional, rational and pragmatic reasons for committing rather than simply falling into the trope of marriage. As such, while they conformed to traditional relationship scripts in one way, they were also active and sometimes highly reflexive 'scripters' of convention. Being reflexive enabled them to craft the relationships that they chose rather than fall into the ones that were chosen for them.

LGBTQ+ couples’ openness and creativity may thus make them more amenable to change and adaptability, qualities that are crucial in long-term relationships. The absence of cultural scripts, and commitment to actively working at a relationship, may also explain why the ’Enduring Love?’ study also found that LGBTQ+ couples are happier in their relationships and with each other than their heterosexual counterparts.

This article was originally published on Paired.

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Two Decades of LGBTQ Relationships Research

To what extent is relationship science reflective of lgbtq+ experiences.

Posted September 29, 2022 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

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• While same-sex marriage has been legal in some jurisdictions for two decades, relationships research continues to focus on mixed-sex couples.
• A review of 2,181 relationship science articles published since 2001 found that 85.8% excluded LGBTQ+ relationships.
• Without LGBTQ+ relationships research, it is hard to provide empirically-supported advice to same-sex and gender-diverse relationships.

In 2014, I attended the annual meeting of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology—one of the largest annual social psychology conferences. The conference covers a wide range of topics and one of the sub-areas is Close Relationships, which hosts a wonderful pre-conference each year leading up to the larger event. As I found myself strolling through the poster presentations for this section of the conference, I began to notice that most of them were reporting the results of research conducted with mixed-sex and presumably heterosexual couples. The pattern became so apparent that I decided to review each poster a bit more systematically and to ask the presenters some standard questions about the demographics of their samples. I was able to visit 58 of the 71 posters listed on the program for the Close Relationships section—there were quite a few posters missing due to a horrendous winter storm that made the annual trip to SPSP impossible for many. Of the posters reviewed, only 15.5% included LGBTQ participants and only one study specifically focused on LGBTQ relationships. Following the conference, I wrote an article for the Relationships Research Newsletter published by the International Association for Relationships Research discussing the "state of LGBTQ-inclusive research methods" in the field of relationship science.

The following year, a somewhat more systematic approach to evaluating the inclusion of sexual minority couples in research was undertaken by Judith Andersen and Christopher Zou, who published their findings in the Health Science Journal . Their analysis focused on the inclusion of sexual minority couples in research relevant to relationships and health and they focused on publications indexed by Medline and PsychINFO between 2002-2012. Their results indicated that a striking 88.7% of the studies reviewed had excluded sexual minority couples from participating—meaning that even fewer of the papers in their sample were inclusive than my snapshot of the posters presented during the 2014 Close Relationships Poster Session.

Fast forward nearly another decade and the International Association for Relationship Research decided to launch two special issues of their flagship journals, Personal Relationships and the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships , dedicated to reviewing the last two decades of relationship science. Along with two other leading researchers in the area of LGBTQ+ relationships, I was invited to write a review focused on LGBTQ+ relationship science. The burning question in my mind was whether or not we would see a stark increase in inclusion as time progressed. After all, the two decades spanning 2002-2022 represent a time of significant advancements for LGBTQ+ civil rights, particularly those related to the legal recognition of same-sex relationships.

What Is the State of LGBTQ Inclusion in Relationships Research Today?

To answer this question, we gathered every single article published in Personal Relationships (PR) and the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships (JSPR) starting in 2002 until April 2021. This resulted in 2,181 articles; 1,392 articles from JPSR and 789 from PR. We used a variety of coding techniques, including automatic keyword coding and manual screening of articles, to identify which articles contained any information relevant to LGBTQ+ identities and relationships. Roughly 85.8% of these articles were excluded from further analysis as they did not contain any words relevant to sexual or gender minority identities or relationships. The remaining 329 articles were manually coded to identify how they handled issues related to sexual and gender identity . Some articles mentioned LGBTQ+ issues in their limitations section (n = 58), for example to state that future research should consider testing similar questions with a more inclusive and diverse sample. Another 42 articles explicitly stated that they excluded LGBTQ+ participants from their recruitment or analysis process, and while this may seem harsh, it still reflects a methodological improvement over the 1,852 articles that did not even provide adequate information to understand how the exclusion process took place. Some studies did include LGBTQ+ participants in their recruitment process and analyses, but often the sample sizes were small, meaning that no further efforts were taken to understand whether LGBTQ+ participants had unique experiences.

Ultimately, of the 2,181 articles published in these two journals between 2002 and April 2021, 92 articles, or 4.2%, presented LGBTQ-relevant information that we considered capable of providing empirical evidence concerning the lives and experiences of sexual and gender minorities within the context of close relationships. Thus, with only 4.2% of the articles being LGBTQ-relevant, our review of two decades of relationship science research did not seem to suggest that great improvement was occurring over time.

Has LGBTQ Inclusion Increased Over Time?

However, when we broke our data down into smaller periods, we did see a slight indication of improvement over time for the general inclusion of LGBTQ+ participants in relationship science published in these two journals. For example, research published in Personal Relationships climbed from roughly 2% of articles being LGBTQ-relevant between 2002 and 2006 to a peak of just over 4% in 2012-2015, a rate that either slightly decreased or remained constant for the final five-year period, 2016-2021. The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships had a somewhat higher inclusion rate over time, with roughly 3.5% of articles in 2002-2006 being LGBTQ-relevant, peaking at nearly 6% between 2007-2011, and then settling back between 4% and 5% for the periods ranging from 2012-2015 and 2016-2021. Despite these slight differences, overall, there was no significant difference between the proportion of articles considered LGBTQ-relevant in each of the two journals reviewed.

Additional Patterns of Inclusion and Exclusion

Most of the research in the review that was deemed "LGBTQ-relevant" tended to explore the LGBTQ+ community as a whole, rather than presenting studies that specifically explored the experiences of one identity group or another (e.g., lesbian women vs. gay men). Only one of the 92 articles exclusively focused on the experiences of bisexual individuals and 54.3% of the LGBTQ-relevant articles did not include bisexuals in their sample at all. The overall body of research also had an androcentric slant, such that 17.4% of the articles focused exclusively on sexual minority men while only 9.8% focused exclusively on sexual minority women.

Finally, although our interest was in exploring relationship science that was considered relevant to LGBTQ+ populations, a better descriptor would be LGBQ, as very few of the studies included transgender , non-binary, or gender-diverse relationship experiences. In total, 15 articles included transgender participants while only four included non-binary participants.

LGBTQ+ Specific Journals

Of course, this review focused on two of the leading relationship science journals and thus did not cover research published in other journals. Anecdotally, many researchers working in LGBTQ psychology and related areas note that when they try to publish in mainstream journals, reviewers often recommend that they send their LGBTQ-relevant research to more specialized, niche journals. Thus, there is likely more research on LGBTQ+ relationship experiences in journals such as Psychology & Sexuality , LGBT Health, Journal of Lesbian Studies, Journal of Homosexuality, and the APA Journal of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity. However, none of these journals specifically focus on relationship science and may not be widely read by other scholars studying relationships specifically. While one of the benefits of LGBTQ-inclusive research is that it helps us to better understand the experiences within this specific population, such research also benefits the wider population, as often LGBTQ-inclusive research suggests new and novel questions that help to shed light on relationship experiences that are relevant to all individuals, regardless of sexual or gender identity.

Despite the indication that there is still a long way to go in terms of encouraging broad inclusion of LGBTQ+ experiences in mainstream relationship research, there were still many positive signs. The overall trajectory of inclusion appears to be increasing over time, conferences are beginning to include specific programming on how to increase the inclusivity of relationship research, and the editors of the special issues celebrating the past two decades of relationship science saw fit to include a review that was specific to LGBTQ+ relationship experiences. The review concluded by noting that we, the authors, were "looking forward to the next 20 years" of LGBTQ-inclusive relationship research, with a specific "focus on deciphering the minutiae of all the colourful intersection of identity that make up the true richness of human relationships."

Pollitt, A. M., Blair, K. L., & Lannutti, P. J. (2022). A review of two decades of LGBTQ‐inclusive research in JSPR and PR . Personal Relationships . https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12432

Andersen, J. P., & Zou, C. (2015). Exclusion of sexual minority couples from research. Health Science Journal, 9(6), 1.

Blair, K. L., McKenna, O., & Holmberg, D. (2022). On guard: Public versus private affection-sharing experiences in same-sex, gender-diverse, and mixed-sex relationships . Journal of Social and Personal Relationships , 02654075221090678.

Karen Blair, Ph.D. , is an assistant professor of psychology at Trent University. She researches the social determinants of health throughout the lifespan within the context of relationships.

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Liberating Love: Anthony Friedkin’s “The Gay Essay” / Interview with Nayland Blake by David Ebony

David Ebony—

Coinciding with this development, an exhibition of Anthony Friedkin’s photographs in a series titled “The Gay Essay,” and an accompanying catalogue , examine the nascent gay liberation movement on the West Coast in the late 1960s and early ’70s. On view at the de Young Museum in San Francisco, through January 11, 2015, “Anthony Friedkin: The Gay Essay” features 75 vintage photographs that constitute a personal account of the times and an intimate view of the gay scene. Organized by museum curator Julian Cox, the exhibition is the first to include all of the photos in the series, which Friedkin began in 1969, at age 19. At that time, homosexual acts were illegal in every state except Illinois.

Anthony Friedkin Self-Portrait with Leica M4 Camera, ca. 1970 Gelatin Silver Print, 10 x 8 in. (25.4 x 20.3 cm) Collection of the artist

“The mistreatment of people in the gay community was one of the initial reasons that I wanted to photograph The Gay Essay ,” Friedkin writes in the book’s afterword. “It seemed tragically unfair and deplorable that people were hostile and threatening to others based on their sexual identity.”

The Los Angeles photographer, known for images of surfers and surfing culture, had in mind at the time an ambitious endeavor to be the first to document the local gay scene. While the mainstream press had previously covered certain aspects of the gay community, it rarely reflected an objective, let alone sympathetic, point of view. Friedkin befriended Morris Kight and Don Kilhhefner, who were then directors of the Gay Community Services Center in L.A., and through them gained access to the gay activist circles at the heart of the budding movement. Eventually embraced by the gay community, and using a compact and portable 35mm Leica M4 camera, Friedkin was able to photograph politically charged events as well as very personal, intimate moments.

Anthony Friedkin Don Kilhefner and Morris Kight at the Gay Community Services Center, Los Angeles, 1972 Gelatin silver print 14 × 11 in. (35.6 × 27.9 cm) Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco Gift of Mary and Dan Solomon

To further explore Friedkin’s exemplary work and discuss its significance today, I recently met at New York’s International Center of Photography with Nayland Blake, an artist, writer and ICP instructor, who, along with Friedkin, Cox and Eileen Myles, contributed to the book. In his inspired and inspiring essay, Blake suggests an underlying story in Friedkin’s photographs that conveys a sense of joy and love through intimate images of interracial and same-sex couples, which may be as profound and revolutionary as the more overt pictures of political strife and protest.

David Ebony You mention in your essay that struggle and pain as subject matter for documentary photos is more appropriate than joy or pleasure. Why do you think that is the case?

Nayland Blake I think that the documentary tradition is one that privileges depictions of suffering and pain. I don’t necessarily agree with it. It’s especially problematic for social movements that are trying to argue for pleasure when the depiction of pleasure is seen as somehow less serious than images of pain. Certainly art history of past 20 years or more has not been one of valorizing depictions of pleasure or connection. That’s what I was thinking about in the essay.

One the powerful things about the Friedkin photographs is that while they show moments of struggle, like the bombed out MCC [the gay-friendly Metropolitan Community Church in Los Angeles, which was attacked in 1973, an apparent act of arson] and the various community leaders and protests, there are more casual and intimate scenes depicted. We would expect to see images of conflict in mainstream magazines like Life or Time. But in “The Gay Essay” there are pictures of people whose only historical role is that they were having a good time and in a unique way. That’s a real strength in the work.

Anthony Friedkin The Reverend Troy Perry, Gay Activist, in His Burnt Down Church, Los Angeles, 1973 Gelatin silver print 14 × 11 in. (35.6 × 27.9 cm) Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco Anonymous gift in honor of Sheila Glassman

Ebony What is the importance of The Gay Essay today?

Blake I think its importance has to do with the fact that Friedkin manages to connect with people through the work without a lot of editorializing. He speaks and writes movingly about the project as being centered on the idea of acceptance into a community. It’s rare in a photographer’s published works that you get a sense that he or she understands the community and has had the privilege of being accepted into it. Friedkin’s role as photographer was not exactly that of a participant. But normally the approach at the time would be much more anthropological—capturing images of these people and events to bring to another audience. But these pictures have a very different tone.

Anthony Friedkin May Doll, Gay Liberation Parade, Hollywood, 1972 Gelatin silver print 14 × 11 in. (35.6 × 27.9 cm) Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco Anonymous gift

Ebony What other aspects of Friedkin’s work set it apart from other photographs of the period?

Blake It has to do with a different kind of art history, one that’s not so grandstanding. Today, we’re accustomed to cameras being ubiquitous. We’re more used to seeing casual pictures coming out of various communities or groups of friends. But these photographs drew on that spirit long before their time. That’s one of the reasons why there’s so much renewed interest in them now. This idea struck me when I compared them with Bill Eppridge’s pictures for the groundbreaking 1964 Life article, “Homosexuality in America.” Eppridge’s images are very much those of an outsider having something to say about a community and trying to find the historical story. By contrast, Friedkin wasn’t so much aiming to tell the “big tale” as he was trying to experience the personalities within the scene. In some of the most memorable images, like those of two women just hanging out on the street, he’s talking about flirtation and sexual attraction. He addresses these kinds of small moments that are so often left out of the discussion. It’s the moment when you feel safe enough to express your desire and your pleasure.

Anthony Friedkin Couple in Front of Church, Los Angeles, 1970 Gelatin silver print 14 × 11 in. (35.6 × 27.9 cm) Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco Anonymous gift

Ebony What were the differences between early gay rights activism on the West Coast and the East Coast?

Blake First, you have to break down the West Coast to Los Angeles and San Francisco. They were very different scenes. L.A. was the initial home of the Mattachine Society in the 1950s, the earliest homophile/homosexual movement. The political issues at stake were generally more socially based, like police entrapment. There was an anonymous gay population cruising in parks that was a constant police target. Friedkin’s San Francisco photos are not so overtly political. The scene there was more about a kind of hippie, gender-queer, performance-art kind of thing. The emphasis was on freedom of personal expression and sexual identity. You can see it in his photos of performers like Divine and the Cockettes. You might say the politics were richer and more esthetic, related to personal presentation and living. By comparison, the East Coast gay liberation movement seems to me to have been more closely allied with the New Left, closer to the student protest movements of the time.

Ebony How have GLBT issues changed from the time of The Gay Essay to today? I know it’s a huge question, but I’m thinking specifically of the relatively recent legalization of gay marriage in many areas and the apparent shift in mainstream attitudes toward homosexuality.

Blake One thing important to consider is that today we think of an issue like gay marriage as the natural outcome of this social engagement, the inevitable endpoint of the trajectory of the gay rights movement. But plenty of people were, and continue to be, disinterested in marriage or fitting into society as it existed then or as it exists now. Lately, the part that gets misplaced or often ignored in gay liberation history is that for many of the participants, it consisted of a critique of society. Not just because society wouldn’t let homosexuals in, but because they thought the whole family structure and the social system were wrong. As individuals who were for so long excluded from the rewards of that system, gay people were uniquely positioned to make that critique.

Works like The Gay Essay helped to break down some of the differences between gay and straight communities—perceived differences that once created a climate of fear. As I mentioned, it’s the small gestures that are most important. In a picture of a couple embracing, there’s a nurturing feeling, so sweet and goofy it’s disarming.

Anthony Friedkin Couple, Los Angeles, 1970 Gelatin silver print 10 × 8 in. (25.4 × 20.3 cm) Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco Anonymous gift

David Ebony  is currently a Contributing Editor of  Art in America  magazine. Among his books are  Anselm Reyle: Mystic Silver  (2012);  Carlo Maria Mariani in the 21st Century  (2011);  Emily Mason  (2006);  Botero: Abu Ghraib  (2006);  Craigie Horsfield: Relation  (2005); and  Graham Sutherland: A Retrospective  (1998). He lives and works in New York City.

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9 Literary Love Stories That Celebrate the Power of LGBTQ+ Relationships

Tales of LGBTQ+ relationships often center on hardships and pain or longing and loss. And while the community still fights for the right to love, those aren't the only stories to read. Books about queer joy, passion, and a sense of community serve as forms of celebration and resistance at once.

Queer love is a nuanced experience written into literature around the world. "I am responding to queer love as not just romantic, but queer self-love and kinmaking," says Lily Mengesha, PhD , an assistant professor of dramatic literature at Tufts University, when asked for book recommendations.

In celebration of Pride Month, four professors named nine page-turning LGBTQ+ love stories you won't be able to put down.

9 books celebrating LGBTQ+ love stories

A History of my Brief Body is the memoir of Billy-Ray Belcourt, the youngest winner of the Griffin Poetry Prize. Lily Mengesha, PhD , an assistant professor of dramatic literature at Tufts University, recommends Belcourt’s book for its insightful collection of essays and vignettes on grief, colonial violence, joy, love, and queerness.

Written by Alice Walker, The Color Purple shares the stories of American women from rural Georgia in early 20th century. “It’s perhaps cliche at this point, and Salamishah Tillet has just written a beautiful ode to this book in In Search of the Color Purple ($23), but I read it in English class in high school and loved the fluidity with which Walker deals with sexuality, and her honesty and rawness as she thinks about race and racism in relationship to gender and sexuality,” says V. Varun Chaudhry, PhD , assistant professor of women’s, gender, and sexuality studies at Brandeis University.

Kemi Adeyemi, PhD, assistant professor of gender, women, and sexuality studies at the University of Washington, recently read A Memory Called Empire and its sequel, a Desolation Called Peace ($25), by Arkady Martine. “The books include a solid dyke love affair—from unexpected flirtation to ignoring one another to physical intimacy—that is not overwrought or overthought,” says Dr. Adeyemi. “The relationship is nuanced and, importantly, doesn’t overwhelm the central concerns of the books: genealogy and the politics of empire.”

• Kemi Adeyemi, PhD , Kemi Adeyemi, PhD, is an assistant professor of gender, women, and sexuality studies, at the University of Washington.
• Lily Mengesha, PhD , Lily Mengesha, PhD, an assistant professor of dramatic literature at Tufts University.
• Shoniqua Roach, PhD , Shoniqua Roach, PhD, is an assistant professor of African and African American studies, and women's, gender, and sexuality studies at Brandeis University.
• V. Varun Chaudhry, PhD , V. Varun Chaudhry, PhD, is an assistant professor of women’s, gender, and sexuality studies at Brandeis University.

Written by Imogen Binnie , Nevada tells the story of Maria Griffiths, a young trans woman living in New York City whose world begins to unravel when she finds out her girlfriend lied to her. It’s a story that Dr. Chaudhry says was crucial to his self-love journey as a trans person . “[It’s] a stream-of-consciousness, raw journey of a book,” he says. “It made me laugh and cry and sometimes at the same time.”

Zami: A New Spelling of My Name is a powerful biomythography by venerated American poet Audre Lorde . Within the text, Lorde “expands the notion of an autobiography. It’s based in part on her lived experiences, but she introduces the idea of mythmaking,” explains Shoniqua Roach, PhD , an assistant professor of African and African American studies; and women’s, gender, and sexuality studies at Brandeis University.

“She moves from the loving and tenuous relationship she had with her mothers and sisters as a child through to her first love and sexual experiences in her teenage years,” says Roach. “Through to her adulthood when she was a Black lesbian in 1950s New York City, hanging out at queer bars. And trying to figure out how to forge an erotic life in lesbian communities, which were deeply white and frequently anti-Black.”

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters tells the story of three women, trans and cis, as they deal with the emotional, messy, and vulnerable corners of womanhood. With this book, Dr. Mengesha expands her recommendations beyond romantic love to also include queer self-love and kin making “since so much of being queer is about loving radically in so many ways,” she says.

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Dr. Roach recommends Sula by Toni Morrison as a great lesbian love story although Morrison herself did not see it that way.

“Black lesbian feminist Barbara Smith, who was also a member of the famous Black lesbian feminist socialist organization the Combahee River Collective, she famously took up Sula as a lesbian novel in an essay called ‘Toward a Black Feminist Criticism,'” explains Dr. Roach. “And she took it up as a lesbian novel because it’s one that privileges relationships between Black women. Relationships that are not necessarily sexual, but definitely erotic in terms of how these Black women and the two main protagonists, Sula and Nel, organize their life worlds around each other.”

Tomboy Survival Guide is Ivan Coyote’s memoir where they recount what it was like growing up in Canada’s Yukon while carving out a space for those of us who don’t fit neatly into boxes or identities or labels. This is another book that helped Dr. Chaudhry come to love himself.

Author of Freshwater , Pet , and Dear Senthuran , Akwaeke Emezi, who was born in Nigeria and lives in New Orleans, released The Death of Vivek Oji to critical acclaim. Quickly a New York Times best-seller and longlisted for the Dylan Thomas Prize, the book follows “the tumultuous, heart-wrenching story of one family’s struggle to understand a child whose spirit is both gentle and mysterious.”

“Their writing is fresh, honest, difficult, and poetic, all at once,” says Dr. Chaudhry. “I don’t know that [Emezi’s work] could be seen as celebrating LGBTQ+ love because they speak to the realities of violence and self-harm that are so often a part of our communities, but in the journeys that Emezi writes about, they have, like the trans narratives I’ve named above, aided in a self-love journey for me.”

Sign up for the Well+Good TALK: Love Out Loud , celebrating pride as the fight for equality continues, on June 23, 2021.

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Open-Access Scholarship on Love in Popular Culture

The boys’ love phenomenon: A literature review

By Ágnes Zsila and Zsolt Demetrovics

Abstract: The genre of boys’ love has become increasingly popular over the past two decades, and has quickly become a global phenomenon in media across the world. This Japanese genre, which portrays the romantic love of two men, often in a sexually explicit form, appears in anime, manga, video games, and textual and visual pieces created by fans. The growing interest of young female enthusiasts in male homoerotic narratives inspired the formation of large fan communities in the mid-2000s and received increasing attention from academics. A large number of theoretical essays, qualitative and quantitative research articles emerged, focusing on either boys’ love media or the fan culture associated with it. In this paper, we provide a review of boys’ love literature based on genre-specific characteristics, fan culture and motivations, critiques from gay society, and the possible social implications of boys’ love media in an intercultural context.

About the Author: Ágnes Zsila is a writer and PhD student at the Department of Clinical Psychology & Addiction, Eötvös Loránd University, Budapest, Hungary. She holds an MA in psychology from the University of Debrecen. Her main research is focused on the psychological aspects of popular culture, media, and fan studies. She has published research papers on the anime-manga subculture and the boys’ love phenomenon. She is also author of three books, and co-editor and co-author of an anthology. Zsolt Demetrovics is a clinical psychologist and cultural anthropologist. He is professor of psychology at the Eötvös Loránd University, Budapest, Hungary where he serves as director of the Institute of Psychology and head of the Department of Clinical Psychology & Addiction. He has published numerous research papers on the epidemiology and psychological background of substance use behavior and behavioral addictions including gambling, video gaming, internet addiction, exercise addiction, compulsive buying.

• boys' love
• fan studies
• literature review

[End Page 1]

Acknowledgements

Ágnes Zsila was supported by the New National Excellence Program of the Ministry of Human Capacities. This study was supported by the Hungarian National Research, Development and Innovation Office (Grant number: K111938).

Introduction to the boys’ love phenomenon

The increasing popularity of boys’ love media has received growing attention in academic fields over the past two decades, resulting in a wealth of exploratory studies focusing on either the media or the fan community (Galbraith 2009). “Boys’ love” is an umbrella term for Japan-specific media – primarily anime and manga –, which thematize the romantic love of two men, often in a sexually explicit form. The representation of male homosexuality appears in video games, movies, series, and other original or fan-created visual (fan art) and textual pieces (fan fiction) (McHarry 2011). Boys’ love originates from shōjo manga in the 1970s, created for young women, which depicted romantic encounters, mainly between heterosexual couples. However, representations of male homosexuality began to appear in these stories, attracting female enthusiasts (McLelland and Welker 2015, 4). The growing popularity of stories centering on male homosexual encounters contributed to the independence of this emerging genre, which was later divided into two subgenres. Shōnen-ai, which literally means “boy love”, portrays the romantic love between two men by focusing on emotional aspects, whereas yaoi [1] presents male homoeroticism in a sexually explicit form (Welker 2015, 42).

Stories thematizing the romantic love between two men have always been popular among young women not only in Japan but also in North America and several European countries (e.g., Germany, Italy), where movies and books depicting homosexual romance attracted many fans in the late 1970s (Welker 2011, 211-228). However, American gay movies and books never managed to create as expansive a space for fans as boys’ love did. Slash, [2] which can be considered as the Western counterpart of boys’ love, emerged in the 1970s in North America (Saitō 2011, 172), and established an active fan culture. Nevertheless, slash communities remained relatively small, closed groups that did not wish to draw attention from outsiders due to copyright concerns in respect of their non-original works (Thorn 2004, 174). By contrast, the growing popularity of anime and manga outside Japan resulted in boys’ love transcending the boundaries of the manga industry, and related materials (e.g. video games, visual novels) gained the attention of Western fans in the mid-2000s. The positive reception of boys’ love, which preserved most of its cultural specific features in the international adaptations, inspired the formation of large, online fan communities (Thorn 2004, 174). As the Internet became more accessible, manga fans with this special interest in boys’ love could meet online and contribute to the creation of fan-made pieces (e.g. fan fiction, fan art), establishing large, international collaborations (Thorn 2004, 174).

The global boys’ love phenomenon consists of three components: professional and amateur creators, consumers, and boys’ love materials (Mizoguchi 2003, 49-75).The extensive online fan communities and their wide range of activities provided an active, [End Page 2] international background for this phenomenon, and publishers and policy-makers also contributed in the comics market. According to Mizoguchi’s estimation, there were approximately one million Japanese boys’ love fans in the mid-2000s (2008, 44), whereas Thorn reported that hundreds of thousands of women had been engaged with the boys’ love phenomenon (2004, 174).

Parallel to the global expansion of the boys’ love manga industry and fan activities, further subgenres emerged due to the growing interest in male homoerotic stories. For instance, “shōta” [3] became popular in Japan, which portrays pre-adolescent boys in sexually charged situations as objects of attraction (McLelland 2005a, 15). However, this subgenre received mixed reception from boys’ love fans, since the portrayal of underage boys in erotic scenes was strongly associated with child abuse (McLelland 2005a, 2). In contrast, the male counterpart of yaoi, termed “bara” [4] , was appreciated more among sexual minorities, although it never managed to transcend the boundaries of gay culture (McLelland2000, 136). Bara materials are created by and for gay men, and feature masculine characters in more realistic story settings. The underlying reasons for men and women showing an interest in male homosexual narratives are sharply different. Bara is primarily related to gay culture (McLelland 2000, 35-136), whereas its female-oriented equivalent, boys’ love, has created a unique space for women to share a collective fantasy in which they can dissociate themselves from gender constructs and social restrictions (Hori 2013).

As a consequence of the global popularity of this genre, the boys’ love phenomenon has also attracted the attention of academics. The English-language literature consists of theoretical studies and qualitative research in the fields of Japanese and East Asian studies, communication and media studies, cultural anthropology, and gender studies (Madill 2010). Only a few studies have conducted empirical research on large samples using quantitative methods (e.g. Pagliassotti 2008a). This paper provides an overview of the international literature on boys’ love from the past twenty years regarding genre-specific characteristics and tropes, fan culture and motivations, critics, and social implications.

The genre-specific characteristics of boys’ love

Boys’ love works combine traditional (e.g. forbidden love) and genre-specific (e.g. “rape as an expression of love”) narratives which reflect the conventional (yet undeniably problematic) tropes of heterosexual romantic literature, with the exception that this love occurs between two men (Mizoguchi 2003, 56). In the majority of cases, boys’ love stories depict the first encounter of characters who fall in love with each other at first sight. Following this, certain difficulties (e.g. sexual orientation concerns, coming out to family members and friends, or past negative experiences) begin to dominate the narrative. Relationship anxieties, terminal illness, rape, incest, and other dramatic themes are often found in this genre (Madill 2011). The portrayal of such psychological traumas in boys’ love stories has a special meaning for the fans of this genre, as will be discussed later in this section.

The visual representation of these stories (e.g. manga, fan art) reflects a particular aesthetic and idealistic design (Madill 2011). The early stories introduced European protagonists in idealized foreign countries (Bollmann 2010, 43). This tendency has, [End Page 3] however, changed in the past two decades, and the romantic encounters have been placed in a Japanese cultural setting.

General boys’ love stories feature “bishōnen” characters (i.e. beautiful boys), who have exceptional physical characteristics (McLelland and Welker 2015, 6). A common couple in boys’ love consists of a dominant, masculine character called “seme”, and a submissive, feminine partner, the “uke” (Bauwens-Sugimoto 2011). A considerable proportion of fans prefer the uke over the seme, which can be attributed to the similarities with female gender roles that allow female fans to identify with male characters (Kamm 2013).

According to the theoretical work of Mizoguchi (2008, 152), general genre-specific tropes are (1) rape as a representation of overflowing love, (2) preserved heterosexual identity of the protagonists after being involved in homosexual activities, (3) seme-uke roles based on physical appearance, (4) fixed roles that cannot be reversed, (5) sexual encounters always involving anal intercourse. However, Kamm (2013) points out that a number of stories do not include the latter two tropes. He argues that roles can be reversed at certain points in the story or with the introduction of a new character, and the depth of a relationship can be illustrated through different types of sexual interaction. In addition, intense emotions, never-ending love, monogamy and loyalty are also important tropes in most boys’ love narratives (Fujimoto 2007a, 63-68).

It is common for the uke to become a rape victim by the seme or by a third person in boys’ love (Mizoguchi 2008, 152) stories. In spite of the fact that rape is a serious societal problem, the boys’ love genre provides a positive reframing of sexual assault and victimization. As Hagio remarks, the (aesthetic) illustration of rape in a more supportive environment may help boys’ love fans cope with similar experiences by providing a more controllable and positive situation in the narratives to relive their own traumas (2005). The seme rapes the uke in their first sexual interaction, which begins with the resistance of the submissive character. However, the seme cannot suppress the overwhelming emotions he has for his partner, which were concealed until that point (Mizoguchi 2008, 151). The uke finally accepts his devotion and expresses his approval, which leads to the satisfaction of both partners (Orbaugh 2010, 181). After this, a deep emotional bond begins to form between the protagonists, which might be contradictory in light of the fact that the uke was raped by the seme previously, but this rape is positively reframed in boys’ love stories, and indicates the beginning of a passionate relationship. Indeed, same-sex relationships are portrayed as particularly deep and honest, and the partners are shown to be unconditionally supportive. For instance, if the uke is being raped by a third person, the seme provides psychological support for him (Mizoguchi 2008, 154). In reverse, if the seme struggles with the outcomes of an early life trauma (e.g. memories of child abuse), a common trope in boys’ love narratives, the uke provides him with help to overcome difficulties (Gibbs 2012, 186).

The prioritization of emotions over traditional social norms, gender constructs, financial advantage and social expectations is significant in the genre of boys’ love (Fujimoto 2007a, 63-68). The male protagonists are usually heterosexual men in a relationship with a woman (Mizoguchi 2000, 193-211) who suddenly fall in love with each other when they first meet. Interestingly, the protagonists are not labeled “gay”, even after being involved in a homosexual relationship (Mizoguchi 2010, 157). Their social environment maintains their heterosexual image, attributing their acquaintance and strong emotional involvement to an accidental coincidence that could happen to anyone (Mizoguchi 2008, 132). The two main characters do not consider themselves homosexual either (Galbraith 2011, 213). [End Page 4]

McLelland and Welker remarked that narratives focusing on the positive aspects of homosexuality, which avoid the presentation of stigmatization and sexual identity concerns, may suggest that it is easy to come out as gay in Japan where these stories are set (2015, 3), although theoretical (Mizoguchi 2008, 32) and empirical works (Pagliassotti 2008a) point out that the majority of boys’ love fans are aware that these stories do not reflect social reality. Saitō also emphasizes that boys’ love characters and settings are not representative of the real lives of gay men, but are constructed elements of a collective female fantasy (2007 , 245) which has developed in the online world.

The boys’ love fan community

The global accessibility of the Internet played a significant role in the international popularity of the boys’ love genre and the formation of online boys’ love fan communities in the mid-2000s, when boys’ love anime and manga were introduced to a Western audience (Thorn 2004, 173). Since then there has been a growing interest in scanned and translated boys’ love manga among young women (2004, 174). Consequently, large fan communities of female enthusiasts have developed. These anonymous, closed groups allow members to express their appreciation for bishōnen characters involved in homosexual romances (2004, 173-174).

“Fujoshi” is a commonly used expression for female fans of boys’ love. The Japanese term means “rotten girls”, which refers to fans’ sexually-driven reading practices (Galbraith 2011, 212). Based on the prevalence of heterosexual women in fans’ conversations on gay-themed magazines in the 1970s, it was assumed that the vast majority of female boys’ love fans were heterosexual. However, empirical research conducted in the mid-2000s did not support this presumption. In 2008, Levi (2009, 154) found that only around 58% of North American respondents (86% female) were heterosexual; while Pagliassotti (2008a) reported that 47% of English-speaking European fans (89% female) and 62% of Italian participants (82% female) were heterosexual. Zsila, Bernáth and Inántsy-Pap (2015, 60) recently found that 66% of Hungarian boys’ love fans were heterosexual (91% female). Moreover, Lunsing (2006) and Welker (2006, 841-870) also emphasized that lesbian fans were vital members of the boys’ love fan community in the mid-2000s.

The vast majority of fans (93%) are both creators and consumers (Pagliassotti 2008a). Age difference, level of education and social status are insignificant in the social community of boys’ love enthusiasts, and there is no clear distinction between professional and amateur creators (Mizoguchi 2008, 336-350).

It is common for boys’ love fans to reinterpret general communication signs as homosexual affections (Galbraith 2011, 221). This mechanism was described by Galbraith under the term “rotten filter” (2011, 221), whereas Meyer used terms such as “yaoi-eye” and “yaoi glasses” to describe this perceptual process (2010, 232). It is common for female fans to view the world through their “rotten filter” and to imagine homosexual encounters resulting from sexually neutral objects or interactions, although imagination and reality are adequately separated and coexistent in their everyday lives (Saitō 2007, 245). They consider non-fujoshi as “normals”, and themselves as “abnormals” for having this fascination with homosexual men (Galbraith 2011, 221). [End Page 5]

“Playing gender” (Thorn 2004, 176) and experiencing sexuality in the safe confines of fantasy play a significant role in this phenomenon. Galbraith (2009) argues that boys’ love fans are always seeking “moe”, which could be defined as a strong emotional response to fictional characters. Moe is considered by Galbraith to be the most important motive for creating and sharing boys’ love materials. According to Galbraith, “moe talk” is a common activity in boys’ love fan communities. Moe talk is an affective conversation about fictional characters and couplings that evoke moe in fans (2015 , 158). Two related terms should be mentioned in connection with Galbraith’s work. The first is “transgressive intimacy”, which is strongly related to the dynamism of the “rotten filter”, as it refers to romantic and erotic potentials that are perceived in sexually neutral verbal or nonverbal communication between men, and are screened out by boys’ love fans’ rotten filter after being detected (Galbraith 2011, 213). By contrast, “nioi-kei” [5] materials purposely contain hints of homosexual affection in order to be detected by fans (Aoyama 2013, 66).

Yaoi role-play is a popular social activity among boys’ love fans, in which two or more participants engage in a virtual, mostly chat-like sexual interaction with each other, playing the roles of gay lovers (Galbraith 2011, 227). The majority of fans have preferred roles, character types and settings, and seek role-play partners in the form of advertisements in boys’ love fan communities. The seme-uke roles, physical traits of both men, and situational characteristics are described in these advertisements. Mizoguchi calls these fans “virtual lesbians” for engaging in sexual role-plays with each other in order to act out male homoerotic fantasies (2008 , 339). Furthermore, the author considers the community of boys’ love fans a sexual minority according to the way that they communicate with each other using fantasies of male homosexuality (2010 , 155).

The underlying motivations behind participating in fan activities related to the genre of boys’ love have been examined in qualitative research (e.g. Chou 2010, 78-90; Pagliassotti 2008b). This has provided us with a deeper knowledge of the global boys’ love phenomenon, and helped to draw a more nuanced picture of the function and importance of this genre for the fans.

The motivation behind the boys’ love phenomenon

According to the results of qualitative research conducted on a sample of Taiwanese boys’ love fans, the main motivations behind creating and consuming boys’ love were linked to its entertaining, inspiring and sexually arousing characteristics (Chou 2010, 78). These motives were also found in Pagliassotti’s research, who systematically categorized fans’ responses based on theoretical considerations (2008b). As a result, she identified ten distinct motivational dimensions. The “Pure” love without gender dimension comprises responses emphasizing that boys’ love characters express their love for each other regardless of gender and related social expectations. Pro-gay attitude/forbidden & transgressive love contains responses emphasizing that boys’ love promotes supportive attitudes toward gay men, since these stories point out that the love of same-sex couples have for one another is not so different from the feelings heterosexual couples have: only sexual preferences are distinct. The Identification/self-analysis dimension was important for those fans who wished to gain a deeper knowledge of themselves, their emotional reactions [End Page 6] and sexual desires. This motive also appeared in Penley’s (1992, 484) and Suzuki’s arguments (1998, 243). Melodramatic/emotional elements attracted those fans who wished to read or view stories that evoked strong emotions in them. The Dislike of standard romances/shōjo factor referred to those who disliked heterosexual romance stories due to their perceived schematic structure and one-dimensional characters, whereas other respondents pointed out that they found pornography inappropriate for themselves due to its explicit portrayal of sexuality. A female-oriented romantic/erotic genre was an important motive for those who found this genre closer to their tastes than other romantic genres, since boys’ love is created by and for women, and authors pay careful attention to the emotional impact of slightly erotic homosexual representations on female fans. The Pure escapism/lack of reality dimension reflected responses emphasizing that boys’ love helps readers escape from real problems, illustrates fictional characters and settings that expand the imagination of fans, and helps readers forget about real life. The appreciation for Art and aesthetics in boys’ love materials also appeared in Chou’s study (2010, 87) as a motivation. The Pure entertainment factor comprised responses that focused on the entertaining and relaxing characteristics of boys’ love media. Finally, several fans were motivated to read boys’ love manga because they found it Arousing/sexually titillating .

Theoretical research in the field of boys’ love studies has revealed that the creation of the genre was highly associated with gender issues (e.g. Welker 2011; Fujimoto 2007b; Nagaike and Suganuma 2013). Boys’ love is often considered to be a critical response to a patriarchal society (Welker 2011, 223), and an escapist genre rooted in dissatisfaction with traditional gender roles and related social expectations (Kamm 2013). According to this, boys’ love characters are considered to be representations of the ideal self-image of those women who feel that the socially constructed gender system is not appropriate for them (Fujimoto 2004, 86) due to perceived inequality in power and social hierarchy (Welker 2011, 223). In contrast, boys’ love stories equalize power (Chou 2010, 88) by constructing idealized male characters with a female soul (Fujimoto 2004, 86). Female fans can therefore dissociate themselves from restrictive gender expectations by identifying with a gender construct provided in boys’ love narratives that is more appropriate to their needs (Welker 2011, 223).

Thematic stories often contain dramatic themes such as early-life traumas (Bollmann 2010, 44) and gender-related problems (e.g. relationship anxieties rooted in sexual identity dilemmas) that represent women’s collective and individual struggles (Welker 2011, 223). However, these concerns are presented in a supportive and positive form (e.g. rape blame does not exist in boys’ love), contributing to a potentially more positive reframing of fans’ personal experiences (Mizoguchi 2008, 154-155). As Mizoguchi (2008, 84-86) explains, the visual representation “constitutes the comic readers’ psychological reality” instead of the real content. Nevertheless, a number of boys’ love fans may never be able to overcome their problems through fantasy, and thus they avoid stories including certain scenarios that are close to their personal experiences (e.g. rape) (2008, 32).

There is a social expectation toward women in Japan and in several European countries that women should be chaste and repress erotic thoughts. Boys’ love allows them to develop sexual fantasies and to express their desires in the form of creative works and social activities (Galbraith 2011, 213-216). They can participate in sexual experiences within the safe confines of fantasy without any real consequences (Früh 2003, 27-56), and in a closed, female-dominated community in which members do not have to restrict or censor [End Page 7] their erotic thoughts (Fujimoto 2007b, 36-47). Since the sexual interaction takes place between two men, and thus erotic thoughts are projected onto male characters, female fans can dissociate themselves from their female desires that cause tension, given that it contravenes socially constructed gender expectations (Fujimoto 2007b, 36-47; 2004, 87). However, thematizing male homosexuality in women’s fiction is widely accepted in Japan, since these texts are considered to be part of women’s sexual culture (McLelland and Yoo 2007, 18). The acceptance of male homoeroticism is deeply rooted in the history of homosexual culture in Japan. Indeed, homosexual practices are intertwined with several Japanese traditions, and a complex system of age-structured homosexual customs called “shudō” persisted through several historical periods (Pflugfelder 1997, 26). For instance, this custom established a deep emotional and personal relationship between samurai warriors and apprentices as part of the mentorship and training process in becoming a warrior (Leupp 1999, 53-54). Restrictions on homosexual behavioral practices clustered in time around the appearance of Western cultural values (McLelland and Welker 2015, 7).

According to representations of Japanese society in boys’ love media, it could be concluded – incorrectly – that Japan is particularly tolerant of homosexuality compared to Western societies (McLelland and Yoo 2007, 18). However, gay men constitute a sexual minority there too (McLelland and Welker 2015, 3), and face difficulties with societal stigmatization (Herek 2009, 32-43).

Research points out that the positive representation of gay men in boys’ love media and the core message of equality regardless of gender and sexual preference is of special importance for fans of the post-industrialized Anglophone world (Pagliassotti 2008b). Indeed, it is particularly important to them that boys’ love media promote tolerance, which can contribute to the social acceptance of homosexual men (2008b). In a similar vein, Mizoguchi (2010, 159) highlights the importance of raising awareness of this potential among creators of boys’ love, as this could be used to increase social acceptance.

Despite the positive aspects of the boys’ love phenomenon (e.g. creativity, international collaborations, self-supportive resources and promotion of pro-gay attitudes), critics have stated that this genre may not serve as a positive representation of gay men. Instead, the idealistic illustration of fictional characters and controversial situations (e.g. rape as the expression of love) reflects an unreal and rather detrimental image of gay society. Furthermore, the pathologization of female fans devoted to media content focusing on male homosexuality, and censorship as an effort to control the circulation of thematic materials including controversial themes (e.g. erotic content featuring underage boys), have raised particular concerns relating to boys’ love fan culture.

Boys’ love critics

The “yaoi debate” (or yaoi ronsō) began in the early 1990s as a protest by gay activists against boys’ love (Mizoguchi 2008, 178-180). This debate took place in a fanzine in which a provocative essay, written by gay activist Masaki Satō, was published, who wished for the decline of the boys’ love genre for presenting an unreal image of gay people (Mizoguchi 2008, 179). Several heterosexual and lesbian women responded to Satō’s essay, starting a debate, which expanded into a discussion on gay rights and the social perception of sexual minorities [End Page 8] that might be biased by representations in boys’ love media (Mizoguchi 2008, 178-184). Satō argued that women consider men perverts for expressing sexual desire, while they do the same in boys’ love by misinterpreting their sexual fantasies in order to maintain the impression that they create art which, in their view, cannot be equal to pornography (qtd. in Mizoguchi 2008, 178-180). Furthermore, Satō argued that boys’ love increases discrimination against gay men due to its idealized portrayal of them (Mizoguchi 2008, 181-182). He claimed that this genre only widens the perceived social distance between gay men and heterosexual individuals (Mizoguchi 2008, 180-181), since the majority of gay men are not young and beautiful but average men with ordinary jobs (Mizoguchi 2008, 181). Thus, boys’ love may give the impression that gay men are generally attractive, usually develop a “proud gay identity”, and have a stable, homosexual relationship (Mizoguchi 2008, 181). However, highly idealized illustration of characters can be found in many other romantic literary genres; thus, this argument could be applied to a number of works of romantic literature besides boys’ love.

Satō also argued that the refusal of boys’ love characters to accept their gay identity clearly shows that this genre cannot promote social tolerance but serves only as a source of private entertainment for women (Mizoguchi 2008, 181-182). Finally, Satō outlined that boys’ love should not serve as an escapist genre for women but should function as a medium which contributes to the growing social acceptance of sexual minorities without portraying gay men as objects of the female gaze (Mizoguchi 2008, 186).

Regarding the sexuality of female fans, empirical research findings do not support the commonly held assumption that the vast majority of boys’ love fans are heterosexual women (e.g. Pagliassotti 2008a; Levi 2009). Mizoguchi describes in her work that she became a lesbian through reading boys’ love manga (2008, 164), suggesting that this genre may have an impact on the sexual behavior of fans. However, further research would be required to determine a causal relationship between sexual preference and exposure to boys’ love media.

Boys’ love fans may find it difficult to navigate between the heteronormative world and fictional homonormativity. According to Galbraith’s (2011, 220-221) work, fans devoted to boys’ love media consider themselves privileged dreamers who have an extensively developed fantasy world. They reported that nontraditional romances expand their imagination. They label themselves “abnormal” for this special interest, while consider those “short on dreams” as “normal” (2011, 221). Similarly, “normals” often pathologize boys’ love fans for their attraction to gay men (Kamm 2013). A widely held assumption has also emerged that boys’ love fans might be sexually-deprived women, although this hypothesis is not supported by empirical evidence (Mori 2010, 101; Sugiura 2006, 40). A number of boys’ love fans might also consider their fascination with gay romance a pathological construct at the beginning, but their anxieties diminish when they get to know other people sharing the same interest (Mizoguchi 2008, 72).

The emergence of the boys’ love genre, particularly shōta, raises concerns about the impact of explicit sexual content featuring underage boys on the healthy sexual development of young female fans (McLelland and Yoo 2007, 14-18). Japan seems to be more permissive in terms of placing underage characters into fictional erotic scenarios, since the appreciation of young and beautiful boys was part of the cultural tradition in several historical eras (McLelland 2005b, 96-159 ; McLelland and Welker 2015, 6). Although boys’ love narratives containing explicit sexual representations of underage boys are legal as virtual child [End Page 9] pornography in the United States, these materials could be categorized as child-abuse media in Australia and countries with similar local legislation (McLelland and Yoo 2007, 15). Since several boys’ love fans associate shōta with pedophilia, they remain critical regarding its content, despite the fact that these materials are targeted at young women who, as McLelland and Yoo point out, incorporate these fantasies as part of their healthy sexual development without causing harm to other individuals, particularly young boys (2007, 8).

The social potentials of boys’ love

The formation of large online communities in the mid-2000s provided a space for intercultural communication among individuals attracted to homosexual romance stories (Thorn 2004, 173). Furthermore, these communities established intercultural collaborations among fans, which contributed to the spread of scanned and translated manga which had not been published outside of Japan (Thorn 2004, 173). Scanlations – i.e. manga scanned and translated by fans (Noppe 2010, 131) – provided a great opportunity for boys’ love enthusiasts to improve their English language skills as well as establishing a core base for international friendships that transcended cultural differences (Nagaike and Suganuma 2013). These international collaborations contributed to the process through which individuals with the same interest met online, and their wide array of social and creative activities have expanded into a “universal psychological phenomenon” (Mizuma 2005, 20) since gaining the attention of publishers, followers and academics (Thorn 2004, 171-178).

In addition, boys’ love fan communities encouraged members to cope with personal problems through social activities, provided a supportive environment, and helped fans become more self-aware (Suzuki 1998, 243). Thus, the intimate, female-dominated space of boys’ love enthusiasts could be seen as ideal for helping fans to cope with problems and for establishing virtual friendships based on their attraction to male homosexual erotica (Mizoguchi 2008, 339). Consequently, the perceived “abnormality” of the fujoshi identity (Galbraith 2011, 221) is of positive significance in this context and reduces the extent to which boys’ love fans may feel socially isolated.

In recent years, social networking sites have provided an appropriate space for boys’ love fans to share material and discuss their fascination with male homosexual romances. This interactive online platform is very significant for underage boys’ love fans, since their membership remains hidden in the case of secret groups where they can share adult content. They can gain knowledge of their sexual desires and act them out in a safe place of fantasy, as emphasized by Früh (2003, 27-56). Furthermore, anonymity is provided for all fans on web pages and forums (Wood 2006, 409). They therefore cannot be identified by parents or friends (Wood 2006, 408-409). Indeed, the families of boys’ love fans do not know anything about boys’ love in the vast majority of cases, thus they are not aware when a family member is involved in the boys’ love phenomenon (Wood 2006, 409). Consequently, parents have no control over the exposure of young girls (or boys) to homosexual content, which has both advantages and disadvantages.

Finally, qualitative research (Pagliassotti 2008b) proposed that the boys’ love genre could contribute to society’s acceptance of gay people in a cross-cultural context (Pagliassotti 2008a) due to its positive portrayal of gay people. Although critics doubted that [End Page 10] boys’ love media would promote favorable attitudes toward gay men, a positive association was found between exposure to boys’ love media and pro-gay attitudes, irrespective of sexual orientation (Zsila 2015, 399-403). However, it is not clear whether it is the exposure to boys’ love media that gives rise to pro-gay attitudes, or vice-versa. Further research is therefore needed to determine whether boys’ love fans are more accepting or the frequent exposure to boys’ love media has a positive impact on fans’attitudes toward gay men (Zsila 2015, 404).

Boys’ love, which portrays the romantic love between two men, has received a great deal of attention from researchers over the past two decades. As a consequence, a number of relevant theoretical studies, and qualitative and quantitative research articles, have emerged, focusing on either the media of boys’ love or its consumers. In this paper, we provided an overview of the international literature relating to boys’ love based on the main characteristics of this genre, the fan culture and motivations behind it, critiques of the genre, and the possible social implications of boys’ love. Although there is a growing body of English-language literature on this genre, a great number of articles are still only available from Japanese sources, making it difficult to synthesize the conclusions of different disciplines that investigate distinct aspects of the boys’ love phenomenon. Moreover, both the characteristics of boys’ love media (e.g. preferred settings, character types) and fans’ needs change over time, as was emphasized by several authors, e.g. Bollmann (2010, 42-46); Mizoguchi (2008, 53-128); Welker (2015 42-75). However, there are a number of apparently common features across time periods and audiences. Firstly, boys’ love has inspired the creativity of numerous fans, motivating them to create self-expressive pieces intertwining their desires with their art. Secondly, this genre has contributed to the formation of active fan communities, leading to international collaborations between fans. Finally, boys’ love media has created a supportive space for women, who can share their fantasies without the pressure of social restrictions, and who wish to achieve the same for gay people proven that qualitative research demonstrated that pro-gay attitudes promoted by boys’ love media was one of the main motives of women to be fans of this genre.

[1] Japanese acronym originating from “yama nashi, oichi nashi, imi nashi”, which means “no climax, no point, no meaning”. This expression refers to the focus on sexual content instead of a complex storyline.

[2] Fan-created stories borrowing characters and settings from original works (e.g. movies, TV series). The term “slash” comes from the / symbol, which refers to the romantic bond between two characters in these works (e.g. Kirk/Spock in the early Star Trek stories).

[3] Japanese term derived from the anime entitled “Tetsujin 28-go”, which featured a young male character, Shōtarō, who was a symbolic representation of cuteness and charm in the story (Saitō 2007, 236).

[4] Japanese term, which literally means “rose”. The expression is derived from a gay photo collection published in the early 1960s, and was revived later by a magazine for gay men entitled “Barazoku” (Mackintosh 2006). [End Page 11]

[5] Japanese term that refers to literary and visual media that hides “nioi” (hint, touch) for the fans of male homosexual stories to detect the signs of homosexual intimacy. “Kei” is a widely used term to describe groups or categories (Aoyama 2013, 66). [End Page 12]

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[End Page 16]

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What’s Good about Being Gay?: Perspectives from Youth

Gary w. harper.

Department of Psychology, DePaul University, 2219 N. Kenmore Avenue, Room 420. Chicago, IL 60614

This article explores gay and bisexual male adolescents’ positive perceptions of their sexual orientation identity. In-depth qualitative interviews were conducted with an ethnically diverse sample of 63 gay/bisexual male adolescents in Chicago (N=42) and Miami (N=21). Data revealed two major conceptual categories: 1) positive personal conceptualizations of being gay/bisexual, and 2) resiliency in the face of gay-related oppression. Additional primary themes and sub-themes were identified within each category that further illustrate how gay/bisexual youth were able to develop positive conceptualizations of their sexual orientation despite experiencing negative societal messages about being gay/bisexual. Implications for the development of interventions to promote the health and well-being of gay/bisexual male youth are discussed.

Adolescence is a developmental period where young people are maturing physically, emotionally and socially as they transition into adulthood ( Erikson, 1980 ; Hill, 1983 ). One of the most critical developmental tasks during adolescence is the development of a unique and personal identity ( Adams, Gullotta, & Montemayor, 1992 ; Erikson, 1980 ). Adolescent development is influenced by different levels of social interaction within multiple environmental systems ( Bronfenbrenner, 1979 , 1995 ), thus a range of individuals, peers and communities can play a significant role in an adolescent’s developing sense of identity. When these influences are negative, psychological distress among adolescents may result, especially for those youth who identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual ( Almeida, Johnson, Corliss, Molnar & Azrael, 2009 ; Hershberger & D’Augelli, 1995; Ueno, 2005 ).

Unfortunately, much of the extant research on LGB adolescent developmental factors has had a primary focus on traumatic life experiences such as victimization, harassment, and rejection, and the subsequent negative impact of such events on mental and physical health outcomes (c.f., Bontempo & D’Augelli, 2002 ; D’Augelli, 2002 ; 2006 ; D’Augelli & Hershberger, 1993 ; Garofalo, & Harper, 2003 ; Pilkington & D’Augelli, 1995 ; Ryan, Huebner, Diaz & Sanchez, 2009 ; Savin-Williams & Cohen, 1996 ; Telljohan & Price, 1993 ). Although the documentation and examination of various challenges faced by LGB adolescents is critical in helping researchers and practitioners to improve the life circumstances of LGB youth through different types of intervention, it is important to also highlight the strength and resiliency demonstrated by many LGB adolescents. Thus, this article takes a resilience-based approach to examining sexual orientation identity among gay/bisexual male adolescents by sharing their perceptions regarding the positive aspects of being gay/bisexual.

Cultural and Societal Challenges

United States (U.S.) society strives to maintain a hetero-normative order in which anything other than heterosexuality is stigmatized ( Grossman, 2001 ; Herek, Chopp & Strohl, 2007 ; Rivers & D’Augelli, 2001 ). When individuals or groups do not conform to socially assigned roles that fit this order, they may be oppressed and marginalized by some in the heterosexual majority and become vulnerable to discrimination as well as other culturally and socially produced damaging forces ( Savin-Williams, 2001 ; Stall, Freidman & Catania, 2008 ). In Mays and Cochran’s (2001) study on perceived discrimination among LGB adults in the U.S., gay and bisexual individuals reported higher frequencies of day-to-day and lifetime discrimination experiences as compared to their heterosexual counterparts. The primary reported basis for the discrimination was sexual orientation for some participants, and those who reported these incidents argued that they interfered with leading a “full and productive life” and made life generally more difficult ( Mays & Cochran, 2001 ). For LGB adolescents, negative heterosexist forces can contribute to social isolation, stigma, and oppression, all of which may exacerbate the traditional developmental challenges faced by all adolescents ( Harper & Schneider, 2003 ; Harper, Jerenwell, & Zea 2004 ; Ryan & Futterman, 1998 ).

Forms of discriminations against LGB persons are multiple and have been reported in areas of employment, housing, access to health care and education ( Diaz, & Ayala, 2001 ; Harper & Schneider, 2003 ). Unfortunately, federal U.S. laws and legislation fail to protect individuals from these inequalities. The existence of laws prohibiting same-sex couples from marrying or disallowing them from adopting/having custody over children reinforces the lack of human rights protections of LGB populations and legitimizes their continuing victimization ( Harper & Schneider, 2003 ). Additionally, the “normalization” of heterosexuality provides limited opportunities for LGB adolescents to explore their sexual orientation identity and has been linked to adverse mental health outcomes ( Rivers & D’Augelli, 2001 ).

Psychological Challenges and Mental Health Outcomes

The negative conditions created by societal and psychological challenges placed on LGB populations often leads to unique stressors and have been associated with various health disparities ( Meyer, 2007 ; Stall, Freidman & Catania, 2008 ). Adolescent-focused research has indicated that stressors affecting LGB populations may include stigmatization due to disclosure of their sexual orientation identity and fear of disclosure and ridicule, all of which may be classified as “sexual orientation victimization” ( Bontempo & D’Augelli, 2002 ). Ryan, Huebner, Diaz & Sanchez (2009) focused on the association between family rejection and substance use, risky sexual behavior, and suicide attempts/suicide ideation among LGB adolescents and found a positive relationship between family rejection and the physical and mental health risk variables they explored. Savin-Williams (2006) discussed the existing link revealed in prior studies between victimization of LGB adolescents/adults and clinical diagnoses of depression, anxiety and other negative mental health outcomes. Such studies suggest that outlets are not being provided for these youth to explore their identities and allow for a healthy and positive development. In addition to the basic challenges of adolescent development, LGB youth must face self-identity and disclosure issues regarding sexual orientation identity and are often not presented with healthy environments and opportunities to do so ( D’Augelli, 2002 ; 2006 ; Jamil & Harper, 2010 ; Wilson, Harper, Hidalgo et al., 2010 ).

Data from multiple studies have demonstrated higher rates of verbal and physical victimization experienced by LGB adolescents as compared to their heterosexual counterparts, and the negative effects this victimization has on their physical and mental health (c.f., Bontempo & D’Augelli, 2002 ; Chesir-Teran & Hughes, 2009 ; D’Augelli, 2002 ; 2006 ; D’Augelli & Hershberger, 1993 ; Rivers & D’Augelli, 2001 ; Savin-Williams & Cohen, 1996 ; Telljohan & Price, 1993 ). For example, Rivers and D’Augelli (2001) explored the high prevalence of verbal and physical abuse present in the lives of LGB adolescents, and identified that such abuse is perpetuated by peers, parents, and teachers within educational settings, homes, and other social institutions. Furthermore, LGB youth oftentimes report such incidents occurring on more than one occasion ( D’Augelli, 2006 ). When threats become a daily concern for some of these adolescents, it is not surprising that they may struggle to find sources of support and turn to health-damaging behaviors such as substance use, sexual risk behaviors, suicide attempts, and running away from home ( Harper, 2007 ; Rivers & D’Augelli, 2001 ; Savin-Williams, 1994 ; Scourfield, Roen & McDermott, 2008 ). Negative health outcomes of this group are constantly brought to light and scant research is conducted or reported which is focused on the adaptive strategies and strengths LGB adolescents and adults have developed in the face of societal oppression and discrimination ( Harper, Jamil & Wilson, 2007 ; Harper & Schneider, 2003 ).

Resiliencies and Coping Strategies among Gay/Bisexual Youth

Few studies have specifically focused on strengths and resiliencies among LGB youth. One study that addressed this topic presented resiliency strategies among lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) young people in North West England and South Wales within the context of hetero-normative environments ( Scourfield, Roen & McDermott, 2008 ). Resiliency strategies reported by LGBT youth included a belief in “natural sexual diversity,” the gained strength to resist discrimination and the ability to find safe and supportive LGBT spaces and people ( Scourfield, Roen & McDermott, 2008 ). Interestingly, the study also highlighted that some of the participants who were open and proud of their sexual orientation simultaneously experienced feelings of ambivalence regarding their identity. These youth expressed the difficulty in constructing a positive sexual orientation identity in the context of highly structured cultural and societal forces that give privilege to heterosexuality. The authors assert that this ambivalence and inconsistency in comfort with one’s identity serves as yet another source of distress among LGBT adolescents ( Scourfield, Roen & McDermott, 2008 ). These findings highlight the challenges LGB youth face in maintaining resiliency while having to actively counter hetero-normative pressures and oppression.

Another study examining LGB youth resiliencies focused on a sample of gay/bisexual male youth in Puerto Rico ( Toro-Alfonso, Diaz, Andujar-Bello & Nieves-Rosa, 2006 ). This study used various measurement scales to determine participants’ perceived level of depression, social support, alcohol/drug use, and sexual activity. The results demonstrate the presence of a range of health-promoting strengths such as engagement in protected sexual activity, low consumption of drugs and alcohol, and the existence of strong social support networks ( Toro-Alfonso, Diaz, Anduiar-Bello & Nieves-Rosa, 2006 ). The authors assert that even though these young men were living in a hetero-normative Puerto Rican culture with pervasive homophobia and cultural stigma, they developed resiliency strategies that helped them to overcome potential obstacles. The development of strong ties with members of their social support network in order to assist with integrating their sexual orientation identity with their Latino identity and the ability to adapt to changes were noted as key strengths exhibited by the youth. The authors further note that the participants’ lack of participation in risky sexual behavior suggests the presence of a positive identity and sense of self ( Toro-Alfonso, Diaz, Anduiar-Bello & Nieves-Rosa, 2006 ). This was one of the few studies found to present resiliency strategies developed by gay/bisexual adolescents to combat negative social and cultural influences.

While continuing research is needed on the developmental challenges faced by LGB adolescents, especially those who are also members of other oppressed groups such as youth of color, a parallel line of scientific inquiry is also needed to explore the strengths and resiliencies demonstrated by LGB youth. Given the critical importance of identity development during adolescence ( Adams, Gullotta & Montemayor, 1992 ; Erikson, 1980 ), a strengths-based focus on sexual orientation identity acceptance for LGB youth is warranted. The extant research and theoretical literature regarding LGB adolescents’ sexual orientation identity have primarily focused on the delineation of identity development stages and the timing of identity development milestones (c.f., Cass, 1979 ; Coleman, 1982 ; Dube & Savin-Williams, 199; Rosario, Scrimshaw & Hunter, 2004 ; Troiden, 1989 ). Most of these studies have been limited by utilizing retrospective data reports from adult LGB individuals or relying solely on quantitative measures of sexual orientation identity. Such limitations do not allow for a more nuanced understanding of the current lived experiences of LGB youth’s identity exploration process, as has been seen in more recent qualitative studies of sexual orientation identity ( Jamil, Harper, Fernandez, & the ATN, 2009 )

The purpose of the current study is to provide insights into the positive conceptualizations that gay/bisexual male adolescents possess regarding their sexual orientation identity utilizing qualitative phenomenological and constructivist frameworks. This approach provides a general structure for discussion regarding sexual orientation identity but requires participants to provide their own terminology and definitions based on their life experiences and perceptions, thus avoiding the limitations of researcher-imposed terminology and concepts.

Although we did inquire about the full range of perceptions and experiences related to sexual orientation identity in the larger study from which these data were extracted, we chose to focus solely on the positive aspects of possessing a gay/bisexual sexual orientation identity for the current investigation given the lack of empirical data focused specifically on resiliency-related factors among gay/bisexual male adolescents. We understand and acknowledge that gay/bisexual youth are also confronted with challenges related to their sexual orientation identity and encourage readers to examine prior literature presented earlier for an exploration of such factors. Since prior research also has demonstrated that sexual orientation identity development for female adolescents and adults is different than that of male adolescents and adults ( Diamond, 2005 ; Diamond & Savin-Williams, 2000 ; Schneider, 2001 ), we also focus this investigation exclusively on gay/bisexual male adolescents.

Participants

Participants for the present study were 63 male youth who self-identified as gay or bisexual and were between ages of 15 and 22 at the time of recruitment. Youth identified as African American (N = 19), Latino (N= 22), and European American (N =22). In order to take part in the study, participants met the following eligibility criteria: 1) be biologically male; 2) be between the ages of 14 and 22; 3) self-identify as African American, Hispanic/Latino, or White non-Hispanic/European American; 4) self-identify as gay, bisexual, or questioning; 5) have no knowledge of being HIV positive; 6) live in the Chicago or Miami metropolitan area; and 7) read and understand English. These youth represented the qualitative subsample of adolescents who participated in a larger mixed-methods research study focused on multiple identity development and sexual risk/protection among gay/bisexual male adolescents, which was conducted within the Adolescent Trials Network for HIV/AIDS Interventions. 1

All participants were recruited from Chicago and Miami community-based agencies and venues that target non-heterosexual male youth. Recruitment efforts were conducted by an ethnically diverse group of undergraduate, graduate, and Ph.D. level researchers. Once eligibility for the larger study was established, youth who expressed an interest in study participation completed a self-administered questionnaire in a private setting. Informed consent was obtained before participants took the self-administered questionnaire.

Demographic and quantitative data from the questionnaire were used to create a purposive, stratified sampling frame for the qualitative portion of the larger study. The frame was stratified by age (14–17, 18–20, and 21–22), level of gay/bisexual sexual orientation identity (low and high), and race/ethnicity (African American, European American, and Latino) in order to produce a sample that represents developmental and identity-related variations. The specific sampling stratification factors utilized were selected in accordance with the multiple identity development focus of the larger study; thus other potentially meaningful factors such as socioeconomic status and educational attainment were not used to create the strata. Approximately two to six weeks after completing the quantitative survey, selected participants were contacted by phone or email for participation in the interview. Participants were advised that the interview would take approximately two hours and that they would be compensated with $35 in cash. Sixty-three qualitative interviews were completed.

Instruments

An interview guide was created through a group process over the course of three months by a group of researchers and practitioners who work with gay/bisexual male adolescents. The guide was based on phenomenological and constructivist frameworks to learn about participants’ life experiences and their behaviors, language, roles, and interactions. The guide examined five topics: 1) masculine identity; 2) ethnic/racial identity; 3) sexual orientation identity; 4) the integration of identities; and 5) high-risk behavior. Data for this study primarily came from the section of the interview focused on sexual orientation identity, although other sections of the interview did offer pertinent data. For each identity area, participants were first asked to define their identity using their own words and conceptualizations. They were then guided through an in-depth exploration of factors that have influenced each specific identity development. Within these areas, youth provided accounts of their experiences. However, they were also encouraged to discuss additional information that was not covered in the interview guide but that was personally relevant in their identity development. By using participants’ lived experiences and definitions rather than imposing on them definitions based on prior research, the interview guide was grounded in the inductive nature of phenomenological inquiry. We retain each participant’s unique identity labels when reporting the results of the study.

Data Collection

The in-depth interviews were conducted by an ethnically diverse research staff of self-identified, non-heterosexual doctoral graduate students and Ph.D.-level researchers with significant research, academic, and community experience with the target population; as well as life experiences as LGB people. All interviewers were trained by the primary investigator on all aspects of data collection, including rapport building, administration of the semi-structured interview, and debriefing.

The interviews took place in private offices at the community recruitment site or the sponsoring university, depending on participant preference. In order to safeguard against identity disclosure, participants were urged to use a pseudonym and/or to only reference their first name during their interview. At the end of the interview, all participants were debriefed in order to follow up on any statements made during the interview that may indicate psychosocial distress, and to allow for any questions or comments by the youth. This was implemented using a standardized protocol that included procedures for handling emergency situations and/or making mental health referrals. All interviews were audio taped and later transcribed by a professional transcriptionist. These transcriptions were later reviewed by members of the research team for the larger study in order to ensure reliability before being entered into the Qualitative Solutions & Research (QSR) NVivo software for analysis. Unique identifiers, rather than names or personally identifying information, were assigned to each interview in order to protect confidentiality.

Data Analysis

The first step in data analysis involved a reading of all interview transcripts in order to increase familiarity with the data. Authors then re-read the transcripts with a focus on the current study’s goal of exploring participants’ positive conceptualizations regarding their sexual orientation. Marginal notes and preliminary thematic codes were then created based on the initial patterns observed. When an initial set of codes was developed, the list was used to re-examine the data to ensure validity of codes. Old codes were amended and new ones were created, and transcripts were re-examined and recoded where necessary to ensure that all transcripts were coded accurately and completely. The data were entered into the computer-assisted qualitative data analysis software (QSR NVivo) to facilitate data storage, coding, and organization. Data matrices were also created as visual representations of the findings, and to assist with the identification of critical factors and emerging themes.

The data related to youths’ conceptualizations of being gay/bisexual revealed two major conceptual categories—1) positive personal conceptualizations of being gay/bisexual and 2) resiliency in the face of gay-related oppression . Within each major category, several primary themes and sub-themes emerged. Quotes from participants are offered to illustrate the various themes and sub-themes, and allow for a better understanding of the lived experiences of gay/bisexual adolescents. Names of participants are replaced with a pseudonym to protect their identity—all age, ethnic identity, and sexual orientation labels listed are those reported by the youth.

Positive Personal Conceptualizations of Being Gay/Bisexual

The two themes identified as positive personal conceptualizations of being gay/bisexual were flexibility and connectedness . Within the theme of flexibility, three sub-themes emerged— sexual flexibility , environmental flexibility and gender flexibility . With regard to sexual flexibility , bisexual young men described the ability to have sexual relations with both males and females. One youth commented that being bisexual allowed him to not feel constrained to one sexual orientation category.

Um, positive things? Hum. I don't know. I get to like girls and boys, I guess. Um, I have to classify, I really have a problem with classifying myself. Like that's really an issue with me. I don't like to be classified as one thing, because then it doesn't really make you who you are. It's kind of this blending with the rest of the people. ( Justin, 18 year old, multi-racial bisexual male )

In this aspect, the participant gained strength from resisting stereotypes associated with sexual orientation classification. He felt that by not identifying as gay or straight, he was able to be himself around others.

Another aspect of flexibility discussed by participants was the concept of environmental flexibility . Youth commented on how being gay/bisexual allowed them to explore more physical places and spaces, specifically ones that are gay-friendly. In this sub-theme the young men did not discuss the need to escape from unsafe spaces, but rather emphasized the benefits of visiting places specifically tailored to LGBT youth.

Well, I really think I'm really lucky when it comes to that. Like there's just so much available now that like I really like to utilize. Like there's so many organizations, like I go over to [ name of agency ] and there's gays everywhere. And um, there's just all, there's dances to go to. I love to go dancing. And I mean, it's just like if you like really sit down, like count your blessings, there's so much out there that I'm really like grateful for and like that I really am lucky to have available to me, like when it comes to in terms of like things that are oriented for my sexuality and for people that are like, and for places that I can go and be safe, doing whatever, and stuff like that. That's very important to me. ( Paul, 16 year old, Italian gay male )

A third sub-theme, which emerged as a positive conceptualization, was gender flexibility . Participants who discussed gender flexibility reported the ability to experiment with gender roles. Specifically, the youth spoke about their ability to display both masculine and feminine traits.

I think you’re free from some of the things that we talked about, some of the ideas of what it means to be a man. You don’t really have to, it’s not something you really have to think about when you’re gay. You can kind of be who you are and not have to worry about um, being masculine or being ah, a stereotypical man. ( Michael, 22 year old, White gay male )

Similar to the example on sexual flexibility, this participant utilized a strategy of resisting stereotypes specifically associated with gender. Many of the adolescents who spoke about gender flexibility offered their views on the concept of masculinity, and how being a man has been constructed by society. Individuals whose responses reflected this sub-theme expressed a sense of freedom, as well as a sense of strength gained from rejecting stereotypes associated with being a man.

The second major theme identified as a positive conceptualization was connectedness . Participants focused these internal messages either on being connected with females or connected to the gay community . The youth who described a connection with females emphasized that females generally find gay men trusting and valuable in providing emotional support, as compared to heterosexual men.

Well, I mean, there's a lot of things. I mean, like um, I feel like um, women are more trusting of me because I'm gay. Um, um, which is a plus, because I'm kind of gonna be that rock in a way, like they can come to me and talk to me about stuff. However, I mean, I guess I was coming up like that figure anyways before, but it's definitely more so now. ( Sean, 21 year old, Eastern European gay male )

Another participant who commented on connectedness with females argued that the reason for this closeness is the fact that straight men typically befriend women for sexual purposes, while gay men do not. Additionally, he argued that both gay men and straight women are able to share their experiences with male sexual/dating partners and receive advice from one another.

Some youth expressed a sense of connection to the gay community . They discussed feeling connected to other individuals who had gone through similar experiences and their ability to bond through hardships. Participants also expressed the ability to form social support groups with other gay people.

Positive things about being gay? Um, it's, it's very easy to, to, when you do find somebody that is, that is very similar to yourself, it's very easy to find a connection with them because they've endured a lot of the same hardships that you have and, and you, and it's easy to talk, I feel like it's very easy to talk to somebody else who is gay, because they've experienced a lot of the same things that I have in coming and developing their identity. ( Patrick, 20 year old, White gay male )

Resiliency in the Face of Gay-Related Oppression

Although many of the youth focused on positive conceptualizations of being gay/bisexual, some identified ways in which they had demonstrated resiliency in the face of oppression . Participants expressed their resiliency in four ways, including acceptance , self-care, rejection of stereotypes , and activism . Inherent in many of the themes and sub-themes in this section is the acknowledgement and confirmation that these youth have experienced various forms of oppression and marginalization related to their sexual orientation, but they demonstrated resiliency and strength in the face of these negative forces.

Youth who discussed messages of acceptance either centered their responses on self-acceptance or acceptance by others . The youth who described self-acceptance argued that exploring their sexuality allowed for the opportunity to be who they are, which resulted in greater feelings of happiness.

Well, um, it’s, it’s fun (chuckles) at times. Um, positive about being gay? Ah, well, just because it is what I am, um, the more I come to accept it, the more fun I have, I guess, with it. Ah, it’s hard to say a lot of positive things of being gay, because society doesn’t see it the same way. I don’t know. So that’s all I have to say. ( Ben, 20 year old, White gay male )

Here the participant acknowledges pervasive negative societal views of gay/bisexual people, but he has been able to find self-acceptance and enjoyment in being gay. Another participant who discussed self-acceptance focused on the importance of “not hiding behind something.” He empowered himself and gained strength by not concealing his sexual orientation identity around others.

Several of the youth reported acceptance by others as another form of resiliency. They discussed feeling connected to friends who accepted them as gay/bisexual young men, and expressed how such acceptance served as a form of social support. The following youth talks about the fun he has with his friends who are not gay/bisexual and emphasizes that a critical aspect of his relationship with them is that they do not “judge” him or hold negative views of gay/bisexual people

Now the positives, like my friends and stuff, they're the ones I kick it with, them, I'm acting like, okay, we gonna go, we gonna go out with him and we just gonna have fun. We gonna enjoy ourselves, to go the movies, go to whatever, go out to eat and stuff like that. They don't judge me… (Chris, 23 year old, African American gay male )

Participants also acknowledged self-care as a resiliency strategy. Those that stressed the importance of self-care discussed the need to take care of oneself on both an emotional and physical level. Emotional self-care was discussed in the context of acknowledging and being aware of the negative emotional impact of heterosexist societal messages on them as gay/bisexual young men, and then building resistance strategies to such pervasive negativity. This often resulted in increased vigilance around homophobic individuals. One young man discussed the potential negative consequences of being openly gay around “homophobic people” and the need to be responsible when making decisions about sexual orientation disclosure.

And be careful. Be responsible with it. Not just be, I mean, if you're out you have to be careful of like you don't run into like those certain people that's gonna hurt you. Like you have to be responsible enough to take care of yourself, if you're gonna be out….Well, think about like certain things, like think that, try not to get shot or something. Be careful who you tell or who are around, everything, be out and about, like try not to get killed or anything. Because there's a lot of homophobic people out there (Jose, 19 year old, Hispanic queer male )

Physical self-care was typically discussed in the context of physical appearance and sexual health, such as carrying condoms in order to protect one from sexually transmitted infections. This sub-theme was not directly connected to experiences of oppression as gay/bisexual youth, but some of the youth did note higher rates of HIV among gay/bisexual men as a motivating factor in their use of condoms during sexual activity.

I mean, I think if you’re bisexual and you’re sleeping with guys and girls you should definitely be educated in protecting yourself with a guy as, specifically with a guy or specifically with a girl. (Kevin, 21 year old, Multiracial bisexual male )

Gay/bisexual youth who reported the rejection of stereotypes as another form of resiliency stressed the importance of developing a positive sense of self that is not restricted by societal messages regarding what gay/bisexual men “should” do, think, and feel. Several of the young men shared that the vast majority of general societal images connected with the gay community are negative (e.g., promiscuity and HIV), and promote harmful stereotypes of gay/bisexual men; thus they should be rejected.

… my friends are like, gay guys are supposed to dress like, gay guys are supposed to like be all done up. And um, I think there's the role that, and there's the role of gay people are supposed to hang out in bars in [ name of LGB area ]. And gay people are supposed to um, gay people are supposed to be affectionate and effeminate and all these different things. And these are all roles that fit a lot of people. But the roles that are also stereotypes. And oftentimes not true. But those are the roles that I think you most commonly see associated with the gay community. (Nick, 18 year old, Irish American gay male )

Finally, several participants talked about activism as another form of resiliency. They highlighted an individual desire to be knowledgeable about issues that have affected the LGBT community, in order to guide their future aspirations. The following youth emphasizes the need for youth to understand the shared history of the gay community, and the sacrifices that people have made in the past (including death) so that the youth of today can have greater freedoms.

It's kind of like the same as being Latino which is like right now you're history and all, like right now where you came from because being gay is more than just being attracted to somebody of the same sex. There's a history behind it. People made sacrifices. People died for this. And just knowing where you've been, or where your people have been, so you know where you're going. I think it's the responsibility of every gay person to know where they want to go. I know a lot of the young people that I work with are like yeah, they don't really care about gay marriages. But they're like, well, in ten or fifteen years, you may care about it. And this is something that affects your brothers and sisters, and just seeing people like that in that view of knowing where you're coming from and fighting for stuff that your community needs. ( Oscar, 23 year old, Puerto Rican gay male )

Some youth also discussed the need to educate and support other young gay/bisexual men in order to promote well-being among their peers and support future activism. The following participant discusses the importance of young people having someone who is older to serve as a buffer against negative societal messages and to provide them with affirmation and support.

Yeah, like when you'd be, like to, to I don't know, say educate or to just show the way into the gay world, kind of like, like showing, like helping them get through. Because like, especially for a lot of young people, it can be a very tough thing to do, especially growing up in a place, in a world where it's not the majority and so it's not always considered right or it's not always considered okay, especially when in that kind of place it can be kind of tough for younger people to deal with it. Or to maybe accept it, but just having someone who's older to have like telling you that it is acceptable and you should accept it and be who you are, it's important a lot of times. ( Paul, 16 year old, Italian gay male )

These findings contribute important information regarding factors that impact self-perceptions of sexual orientation identity among gay/bisexual male youth. Despite social and cultural messages regarding a gay/bisexual sexual orientation, this study demonstrates that these young men were able to embrace positive aspects of being gay/bisexual. Adolescents who emphasized flexibility as one conceptualization were able to express a sense of self-worth and pride in their sexual orientation identity. Young men who described closeness and acceptance from others were able to create social support networks and build resiliency within a hetero-normative environment. Their friends and peers helped them to achieve a positive sense of identity. A few youth even expressed a desire to combat damaging forces, which make it difficult for LGB youth to find acceptance within society. The responses of these adolescents revealed that they were able to construct a positive identity and actively combat negative messages by educating others, seeking resources and fighting stereotypes, which exist about the LGBT community. These individuals emphasized the ability to gain strength through adversity and the belief that members of the LGBT community may do so by working together. Examples of such communal efforts may include the organization of political rallies and public forums or participation in educational endeavors to discuss issues primarily affecting LGBT persons.

In discussing their sexual identities, many participants described examples of societal marginalization and discrimination of gay/bisexual people that is consistent with previous research (c.f., Bontempo & D’Augelli, 2002 ; Harper & Schneider, 2003 ; Meyer, 2007 ; Rivers & D’Augelli, 2001 ; Scourfield et al., 2008 ). The youth discussed the way society reinforces heterosexuality and treats “others” with hostility ( Okihiro, 2001 ). Nevertheless, despite difficulties, most participants strived to combat societal forces with the help of social networks, reinforcing earlier findings on resiliencies and coping strategies employed by gay/bisexual male youth ( Scourfield et al., 2008 ; Toro-Alfonso et al., 2006 ). Additionally, unlike past research, findings demonstrated participants’ emphasis on actively resisting discrimination, which could serve as another potential coping strategy or source of resiliency.

Data from this study can be used to shed light on broader issues of social and cultural components of gay/bisexual male adolescents’ sense of self and self-acceptance, which may influence healthy adolescent development. The study’s findings offer a clearer understanding of how societal messages play a role in gay/bisexual male youths’ self perceptions and offer insight into ways to improve the healthy functioning of gay/bisexual youth by challenging negative societal messages.

These findings may also offer information for the development of mental and physical health promotion programs that emphasize the positive aspects of gay/bisexual sexual orientation identity, and the role that self acceptance can play in promoting healthy thoughts and behaviors. Interventions for gay/bisexual youth that go beyond basic education and address these factors may have more sustainable effects since they can support the development of a well-developed positive identity ( Harper, 2007 ). By focusing on positive conceptualizations of being gay/bisexual, interventions may help improve gay/bisexual youths’ self esteem and decrease the likelihood that they will participate in health-risk behaviors. Such programs may use innovative strategies to enhance the various forms of resilience utilized by our study participants—acceptance, self-care, rejection of stereotypes, and activism. One example of such a program is the Mpowerment Project, which is a widely used sexual health promotion intervention that includes a focus on enhancing gay/bisexual young men’s acceptance of their sexual orientation utilizing community mobilization and peer-based strategies in order to address unique communal needs and empower its members ( Kegeles, Hays, & Coates, 1996 ; Kegeles, Hays, Pollack, Coates, 1999 ).

In order for programs to be successful, individuals working with gay/bisexual individuals must be sensitive to issues unique to LGB youth populations. Cultural awareness and sensitivity of social service and health care providers is vital for gay/bisexual adolescents to feel support and allow them access to necessary resources ( Garofalo & Harper, 2003 ; Ryan & Futterman, 1998 ). Providers should be aware of the “lived experiences” of gay/bisexual male youth so their interventions reflect the realities faced by these young men ( Harper, 2007 ). In addition, the unique challenges faced by gay/bisexual youth of color should also be understood and addressed ( Harper, Jernewall & Zea, 2004 ). By understanding the varied messages that gay/bisexual male adolescents receive about their sexual orientation and how they integrate this information into their self perception, individuals working with gay/bisexual male youth will be better prepared for helping them to develop a healthy sense of self. Such was the outcome of a drama production presented by LGB youth at a community teacher’s forum which assisted teachers in better understanding youth’s experiences with homophobia ( Morsillo & Prilleltensky, 2007 ). Furthermore, social service and health care providers should be aware of community connections that support healthy identity development in order to assist adolescents in making critical social support connections.

The information presented in this study advances our understanding of factors that influence the self-perceptions of sexual orientation identity among gay/bisexual youth. However, some limitations exist. Participants were gay and bisexual youth recruited from two large urban areas with active LGBT communities, thus limiting the ability to generalize findings to youth living in other geographic regions. In addition, this sample was restricted to male youth; therefore, the life experiences of lesbian and bisexual young women were not captured.

In summary, the current data suggest that despite experiences of LGB-related oppression and marginalization, gay/bisexual male youth are able to synthesize their experiences in order to construct a more positive sexual orientation identity. These data speak to the need to encourage and promote more research that explores the lives of gay/bisexual youth utilizing a strengths-based wellness model in order to provide a more comprehensive view of gay/bisexual youth’s development ( Marszalek & Cashwell, 1999 ; Rofes, 2005 ). While continued research on the challenges that gay/bisexual youth face is still needed in order to inform future interventions and public policy, these studies should be cautious not to view gay/bisexual youth through a deficit-focused lens which presents gay/bisexual youth as inferior to heterosexual youth. Instead, researchers should strive to contextualize the life experiences and physical/mental health outcomes of gay/bisexual youth by exploring the potentially negative influence of progressing through critical developmental phases while living in heterosexist and oppressive environments. In addition, studies focused on negative physical and mental health outcomes should strive not only to explore risk factors for such outcomes, but also examine resiliency-based factors which may offer insights into how some gay/bisexual youth are able to thrive in the face of oppression.

Future qualitative and quantitative research focused on the development of a positive sexual orientation identity among gay/bisexual youth is needed. Moreover, the impact of societal and cultural influences on youths’ perceptions of their sexual orientation identity should be addressed, as well as the resiliency strategies they use in the face of oppression and marginalization. Such information will assist in the creation of successful interventions that focus on the unique needs of gay/bisexual adolescents and support their healthy growth and development.

Gary W. Harper ( ude.luaped@reprahg ) is Professor in the Department of Psychology and Director of the Master of Public Health Program at DePaul University, and his research and community work focus on giving voice to the social justice needs of young people, especially gay/bisexual male youth. Asya Brodsky is a licensed social worker working in a comprehensive HIV clinic in Chicago, and her research interests include sexual identify development, sexual and reproductive functioning, and sexual violence prevention. Douglas Bruce is a Research Scientist in the Master of Public Health Program at DePaul University, and his research interests include health and identity development among young gay and bisexual men.

1 The Adolescent Trials Network for HIV/AIDS Interventions (ATN) is funded by grant Nos. 5 U01 HD 40533 and 5 U01 HD 40474 from the National Institutes of Health through the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (A. Rogers, PhD, MPH; K. Ryan, PhD; B. Kapogiannis, MD), with supplemental funding from the National Institutes on Drug Abuse (N. Borek, PhD), Mental Health (P. Brouwers, PhD), and Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (K. Bryant, PhD). The study was scientifically reviewed by the ATN’s Behavioral Leadership Group. Network scientific and logistical support was provided by the ATN Coordinating Center (C. Wilson, C. Partlow), at the University of Alabama at Birmingham. Network operations were provided by the ATN Data and Operations Center at Westat, Inc. (G. Selkin-Gutman, J. Korelitz, and B. Driver). We would like to thank Larry Friedman, MD, PI of the Miami Adolescent Trials Unit and the staff of the Behavioral Health Promotion Program (Cesar deFuentes, Luis Alzamora, Cristobal Plaza, and Leah Varga). The investigators are grateful to the members of the Community Advisory Board for their insight and counsel and are particularly indebted to the youth who participated in this study.

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Was famous bushranger Captain Moonlite definitely gay? An historian explains why it’s much more complicated

Historian, Charles Sturt University

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Matthew Grubits does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

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Captain Moonlite, the bushranger known for the Egerton bank robbery of 1869 and the Wantabadgery outrage of 1879 , is commonly thought to have been gay or queer . In recent years, his love for gang member James Nesbitt has been celebrated in art , music and theatre . Now the Heritage Council of New South Wales is considering adding the graves of Moonlite and Nesbitt to the State Heritage Register in recognition of their “ publicly acknowledged same-sex relationship ”.

The Heritage Council, however, has several issues to contend with. For one, the nature of the relationship between Moonlite and Nesbitt is not as sure and settled as has been assumed. For another, the headstone that now marks Moonlite’s grave obfuscates, rather than celebrates, his feelings for Nesbitt .

Meeting and memory

Andrew George Scott – the man behind the Moonlite moniker – met James Nesbitt in Pentridge Prison, Coburg , between 1875 and 1877. The two reunited on the outside in 1879, and Nesbitt followed Scott on his ill-fated trek into New South Wales where, with four other companions, they “stuck up” Wantabadgery Station.

In an ensuing confrontation with police, Nesbitt, August Wernicke (the youngest of Scott’s companions) and Constable Edward Mostyn Webb Bowen were all mortally wounded. Nesbitt and Wernicke were buried in unmarked graves in Gundagai Cemetery.

Scott and another of his companions, Thomas Rogan, were hanged for Bowen’s murder on January 20 1880. In the weeks leading up to this, as he awaited “the last dread sentence of the law” in a condemned cell in Darlinghurst Gaol , Sydney, Scott wrote numerous documents, including letters intended for friends, acquaintances, clergymen and Nesbitt’s parents. In these, he recorded he loved Nesbitt and wished to “ fill the same grave ” as him so they might be together forever.

Many of Scott’s letters were not sent and the wish they contained was not initially acted upon.

When Scott’s condemned-cell writings were rediscovered in the 1980s, they were swiftly assumed to reveal a romance. In the decades since, it has almost become a commonplace that Scott was homosexual and Nesbitt his lover.

Hidden histories

Determining the nature of a relationship from the past can be a complex matter. It requires, among other things, a sophisticated understanding of how emotions were expressed and how language was used in the relevant context. Phrases used to express romantic love today were not necessarily used in the same ways in the past.

Modern-day terms and concepts, from “homosexual” to “gay”, are also of limited use in understanding and describing historical people and their relationships. Before these terms and concepts were current, people understood themselves, their desires and their intimacies in other ways.

Unfamiliarity with the past, a yearning for queer forebears, and present-day views on sexuality have prevented us from seeing Scott and Nesbitt’s relationship as anything but romantic (in the everyday sense of the word) and sexual. And yet Scott’s language about Nesbitt conforms closely to the 19th-century concept of manly love – a bond between men which was “ passing the love of women ” precisely because it was free from any sexual element.

It is also significant that one of Scott’s preferred words to describe Nesbitt was simply “friend”: he was, Scott wrote to supporter John Alexander Dowie , “the truest best friend that man ever had”. It was in memory of a male friend that Tennyson penned his famous lines :

Tis better to have loved and lost / Than never to have loved at all.

Moonlite’s motivations

Two vital points must be recognised when approaching Scott’s writings about Nesbitt.

The first is all of Scott’s expressions of affection post-date Nesbitt’s death – a violent death, suffered at a young age, in consequence of decisions made by Scott. At the time of writing, Scott was suffering from intense trauma and grief – and as much as any emotion, Scott’s writings are evidence of grief.

The second relates to Scott’s intent. In the wake of his death, Scott was seeking to craft a legacy for Nesbitt. Nesbitt had died ignobly, while resisting the police, and was destined to be remembered as nothing but a scoundrel bushranger. Scott, however, wished him to be remembered otherwise: as honourable, truthful and brave. He even portrayed Nesbitt as Christ-like.

While it remains a possibility Scott and Nesbitt were lovers, as is commonly thought, Scott conveying as much in his condemned-cell writings would have undermined the image of Nesbitt (and himself) he was desperate to establish before his voice was silenced.

Moonlite’s grave

Scott’s remains were finally reinterred in Gundagai Cemetery in 1995, and marked by a headstone which reads:

ANDREW GEORGE SCOTT CAPTAIN MOONLITE BORN IRELAND 8-1-1845 DIED SYDNEY 20-1-1880 “As to a monumental stone, a rough unhewn rock would be most fit, one that skilled hands could have made into something better. It will be like those it marks as kindness and charity could have shaped us to better ends.” Andrew George Scott Laid to final rest near his friends James Nesbitt and Augustus Wernicke who lie in unmarked graves close by. Gundagai 13-1-1995.

This differs from what Scott specified in his condemned-cell writings: Nesbitt’s birth and death dates have been excluded, while Wernicke’s name has been added.

The quote is also an addition, albeit with a crucial omission: “As to the monumental stone for my friend and myself […]”. Without these italicised words, the visitor is led to infer that Scott intended his headstone to mark three people (himself, Nesbitt and Wernicke ) and is distracted from Scott’s desire to occupy the grave of Nesbitt specifically.

Were the Heritage Council to proceed with its listing it would be both formalising a view of a historical relationship that is open to conjecture, and honouring a grave that deviates from the desires of the deceased.

Read more: Friday essay: how a 'gonzo' press gang forged the Ned Kelly legend

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The Love Issue

Love is the most important part of what it means to be LGBT, and Out brings readers the latest heartwarming and heartbreaking stories on gay love. Find out how gay love can influence law in Supreme Court decisions that have shaped the lives of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender like Windsor v. United States. Read in Out's Love Issue of how LGBT couples like Michael Urie and Ryan Spahn, Jd Samsen and Ariel Sims, Matt Doyle and Ryan Steele, Barney Frank and Jim Doyle, and more first met and fell in love.

These Drag Kids Are Proving It's Never Too Soon To Be Fabulous

As drag hits an all-time peak of popularity, a new generation of queens is out to slay the game.

The Creators of SlayTV on Finding Love at First Night

Sean and Terry Torrington turned their real-life romance into a digital love affair. 

Uncle Meg & Clara Rae's Wild Ride Through Transition, Coney Island & Strip Clubs

For this trans rapper and his model fiancée, love overcame gender.

For Blake Lee & Ben Lewis, A Chance Encounter in the Men's Room Became an Eight-Year Love Affair

The actors talk about braving a long-distance relationship and coming out in Hollywood.

Astrologer Chani Nicholas Didn't Have to Look to the Stars to Find Love

All it took was a weekend in New York, she left the rest up to fate.

Chris Habana & Richard R. Henry Prove Love Doesn’t Have To Be Difficult

What's a relationship without drama? Perhaps the best kind of all.

On a Break Between Bowie and MJ, Aaron Walton Met His Rock Star

When Andrew Logan met Walton on Fire Island, it was kismet.

Cameron Esposito and Rhea Butcher Married Their Comedy Soul Mates

Totally taken with each other, these two wives are mining their marriage for comedy gold.

To Find Love, Will & Grace Creator Max Mutchnick Had to Learn to Let Go

“When I met Erik I took the greatest exhale of my life because I knew that I was going to escape having the ultimate fear of a gay man who grew up in the ’70s and ’80s.”

Gus Kenworthy, Samira Wiley & More on What Love Means to Them

Our favorite quotes from this year's  Love Portfolio to celebrate V-Day.

After Years In Hiding, These Married Soldiers are Sharing Their Story with the World

Love is a Battlefield. 

The Love Portfolio: Michael Fisher + Michael Maccari

A stylish couple’s journey from strip club to seamless commitment.

The Love Portfolio: Elise Kornack + Anna Hieronimus

How a night in a Cubby Hole led to a Michelin-winning partnership.

The Love Portfolio: Darryl Pinckney + James Fenton

When two writers were introduced by Susan Sontag, it was the start of a story that’s still unfolding. 

The Love Portfolio: Parson James + Ryan Austin

For the singer and hairstylist, a long courtship led to longer harmony.

The Love Portfolio: Javier Perez + Victor Borbolla

The high school sweethearts have weathered storms together — including on their wedding night.

The Love Portfolio: Elliott Sailors + Olimpia Soheve

From emoticons to Milan to breakfast in bed.

The Love Portfolio 2017

Eight couples wax romantic on their relationships in our annual Love Portfolio.

The Love Portfolio: Gus Kenworthy + Matt Wilkas

As the Olympic freestyle skier was preparing to come out in 2015, he was quietly courting an actor on Instagram. 

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A rap session during the filming of Orange is the New Black set the scene for a true-life tale of love, loss, and new beginnings.

It’s Always Been About Discrimination for LGBT People

As a gay person, I grew up knowing I was different. Hearing other kids call anyone who deviated from traditional gender expectations a “fag.” Getting called a “lesbo” at age 11. I hadn’t come out to anyone and didn’t even really understand what it meant, but I knew it was an insult.

At an early age, we learn that it’s at best different to be LGBT. And many of us are taught that this difference is bad — shameful, deviant, disgusting. We might try to hide it. We might wish it away. We learn that even if our family accepts us, there are some relatives who might not; we get asked to hide who we are so as not to make them uncomfortable.

This teaches shame.

We hear about LGBT people who have been physically attacked or even killed for being who they are.

This teaches fear.

While I know I grew up with privilege, and others have stories far worse than mine, I also believe that countless other LGBT people could tell stories like this — not the same, but all rooted in a legacy that made us feel ashamed of who we are. And yet I, like many of us, also learned pride and hope and found a community that loves me and makes me feel welcome.

Those experiences are part of why I care so much about the Masterpiece Cakeshop case. A decision in support of the bakery would open the door to sweeping discrimination. What’s at stake isn’t just whether we have the freedom to go about our daily lives and purchase the same things that others are able to buy. That’s part of it, but it’s not the whole picture.

We never leave those initial experiences of shame and discrimination behind completely. Our sexual orientation may or may not be readily visible to others. How we dress or how we act might identify us as gay but it might not, and it won’t in all circumstances.

Even with a girlfriend — even holding hands — people don’t always see a couple. I have to decide whether to come out or hide again and again — at the doctor’s office, at my child’s school, when talking about weekend plans with colleagues — because people usually assume heterosexuality. Gay people think about when to hold hands or kiss goodbye in public. Sometimes, it will be a matter of safety. The fact that straight couples don’t have to think about these questions is a reminder of difference. And every time I do come out, some part of me still wonders whether, in this moment, I’ll find that my community has grown larger or if I’ll face rejection — or worse.

The Colorado law that’s being challenged by the bakery in the Masterpiece Cakeshop case says that businesses that open their doors to the public can’t discriminate based on race, religion, sex, disability, gender identity, or sexual orientation. Laws like Colorado’s aim to make sure that when we walk through the doors of a store or hotel, we all have the same freedom to buy a cake, eat a meal, or rent a room. They say to LGBT people, “you matter, and you shouldn’t be mistreated because you are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender.”

This case isn’t about the cake. It’s about a legacy of discrimination and devaluation and a rejection of our shared humanity.

Through laws like Colorado’s, we start to trust those assurances and feel more confident living our lives. But when a business owner says, “No, we won’t serve you because you’re gay,” all that humiliation resurfaces.

That’s why it’s inappropriate to tell us — as the bakery and the federal government do in this case — to just go to a different bakery. This isn’t just about the services. It’s about the harm that being turned away causes. It’s about how shame and fear prevent us from fully feeling safe and participating in public life. It’s about the pain of our children seeing us, and them, rejected, or the pain of our parents watching, unable to protect us. And it doesn’t matter if it’s just one store. Because once we are refused, every time we approach the door of a store, we wonder how we will be treated and are more likely to hide who we are. That comes at a steep cost.

The bakery is arguing to the Supreme Court justices that the Constitution protects their right to refuse to serve gay people, to tell people like me, like Dave and Charlie, and countless others that they object to our relationships and therefore refuse to serve us. But this case isn’t about the cake. It’s about a legacy of discrimination and devaluation and a rejection of our shared humanity.

And yet it’s also a case about hope, promise, and love. The hope that the court will recognize that all of us are worthy of respect and fair treatment. The promise that LGBT young people won’t live in fear and embarrassment as I did. And a mother’s unwavering love for her son and his fiancé , showing us why discrimination has no place in our Constitution.

Learn More About the Issues on This Page

• LGBTQ Rights
• Public Places
• LGBTQ Nondiscrim­ination Protections

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Gay Love Essay

Love is something that is very popular in today’s world. Everyone should be able to love and be loved, to be joined in marriage. But, some people don’t get those rights simply because they’re gay. Congress combines church and state to make marriage illegal. But, people have different religions, different beliefs, and different views on everything. Banning gay marriage violates a person’s constitutional freedom. The constitute states, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion. ” Church and state are being combined to rule out marriage for gays.

Same sex marriage is illegal in all fifty states, and the U. S. Congress has passed a “Defense of Marriage Act” to block recognition of any future same sex marriages. The also have restricted rights to adoption and child raising. (Smith, Haider 14) But yet there is probably a population, small if any, of gays in every state. In 1977 Harvey Milk was elected to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. Milk was the first openly gay man to be elected to a public office in California. Milk’s career was cut short in 1978 when he was assassinated in City Hall on November 27, 1978.

People were so against Milk being openly gay they stuck back. President Bush indicated he opposes extending legal rights to homosexuals, saying he “believes marriage is between a man and a woman, and I think we ought to codify that one way or another. “(“Reserved for Heterosexuals”) So he chooses to discriminate a group of people simply because they don’t have the same beliefs as him. And in a later story, Bush states,” I think it’s very important for our society to respect each individual, to welcome those with good hearts, to be a welcoming country.

On the other hand, that does not mean that somebody like me needs to compromise on an issue such as marriage. “(“Reserved for Heterosexuals”) Bush will welcome you with understanding, open arms, as long as you’re not gay. Yet the Constitute reads, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion. ” Court ruled marriage is a fundamental human right. ( Allison “Church and State”) And a fundamental human right means that everyone should be allowed to have it, no one should be left out.

It has often been noted that in the Western tradition homosexuality was first called the sin of sodomy next considered the disease of psychological inversion, but now has become like an ethnicity. (Smith, Haider Preface 15) Prior to the civil war, Africans were not allowed to marry in some states. And then again, prior to 1948, interracial couples were not allowed to marry in California and other states. Nineteen years later, the U. S. supreme courtruled that mixed raced marriages were legal anywhere in America(Allison “Church and State”).

It took nineteen years just to allow people of two different races to marry, not even considering if they were homosexual. “This court has long recognized that freedom of personal choice in matters of marriage and family life is one of the liberties protected by the Due Process of the Fourteenth Amendment. (Allison “Church and State”)” But still, gays are stripped of that right, because they don’t have the same sexual preference. A poll showed that the Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage back lashed causing people who agreed with homosexual relations being legal to fall from 60% to 48%.

And only 40% support civil union. “Reserved for Heterosexuals”) In addition to being outnumbered, gay people are despised no other group of Americans is the object of such sustained, extreme, intense distaste such hostility does not face any other group in electorate. (Smith, Haider 12) As of now, only Vermont allows civil union(Allison “Church and State”). But still, the federal government’s 1996 Defense of Marriage Act affirms that states are not required to recognize a same-sex marriage performed in another state(“Reserved for Heterosexuals”).

A group of same sex couples sued the state of Vermont for the right to marry, rguing that not allowing same sex couples to marry constituted unlawful gender discrimination. In December 1999 the Vermont Supreme Court ruled that the state could not deny same sex couples the protections, benefits, and responsibilities of their heterosexuals counterparts. The court instructed the legislature to allow for same sex marriages or create a similar system that would have the same benefits and responsibilities for the involved parties.

During the 2000 legislative session, the Vermont legislature created civil unions, which provide same sex couples with legal standing akin to marriage. Smith, Haider 137) In other countries only Belgium and Netherlands have legal marriage in which they are also allowed to adopt a child. ( Allison “Church and State”) Although the country views gay marriage to be unreasonable, there are other types of marriages that are obscure from the one male, one female in love relationship. The polygynous marriages, which were in the bible, were where a man married multiple women and they all lived together.

The Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints still believe in polygynous marriages. Another type of marriage is levirate where a woman who was widowed ith having a child would be required to leave her home, marry her brother-in-law, live with him, and have sexual relationships. The woman was considered “fortunate” if she happened to like the man. Another forced relationship in the bible is a male who raped a female virgin that is not engaged to be married must marry her attacker (Allison “Church and State”).

It is legal to openly discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation in employment, housing, credit, consumer service, and public accommodation in most jurisdictions. (Smith, Haider 14) Everyone views marriage differently. Many people have different religions. Many Christian denominations look at marriage as being ordained by God, patterned after God’s creation of the first couple, Adam and Eve. (Allison “Church and State”) Christian Churches consistently and strongly oppose gay rights.

They opposed and ejected known homosexuals from it’s ranks, clergy and offices; would not allow homosexual rights committees to meet on Church property, and considered AIDS to be God’s revenge on homosexuals. (“Religion”) To some Christians, the relationship between two spouses is symbolic of the relationship between Christ and his church. But, other faith groups have a broader definition of marriage: a religiously recognized commitment by a couple to support each other and live together monogamously “til death do them part.

A growing number of religious organizations do not require the spouses to be of opposite genders. And to most atheists and agnostics, a marriage will be entirely secular in nature, without any religious significance(Allison “Church and State). Islam is probably the most rigidly and inhumanly anti-homosexual in it’s practices of all the world religions. Islamists deny human rights to gays. Allison “Church and State”) Judaism does not accept homosexuality, and as the very concept of homosexuality was not formed at the time that the Hebrew Bible’s texts and traditions were formed, the issue was not addressed.

Many congressional parties also have different views on gays and marriage. The 200 Democratic platform stated that that party supported “the full inclusion of gay and lesbian families in the life of the nation,” including “an equitable alignment of benefits”. That party’s presidential nominee, Vice President Al Gore, did not specifically mention sexual orientation in his acceptance speech. However, Gore had made his support clear throughout the campaign. The Republican Party nominee, George W.

Bush, had noted that “an openly known homosexual is somebody who probably wouldn’t agree with his philosophy. ” making it obvious that he does not agree with it. Yet still, some activists suggested that a positive aspect of the convention was that fact that Mary Cheney, the lesbian daughter of Vice President nominee Dick Cheney, sat publicly with her mother and sister. The Libertarian Party addresses sexual rights with the following: “We believe that adults have the right to private choice in consensual sexual activity.

We oppose any government attempt to dictate, prohibit, control or encourage any private lifestyle. “( Smith, Haider 168) Regardless of a sexual orientation two people should be allowed to share love and marriage together as a happy couple. Even congressional parties are divided on their opinions on gay marriage; everyone should be allowed to love who ever they please. Religious groups have different beliefs. People have different view on life. So, it should be open for decision, not closed off because one group says its right. American’s deserve the right and have the freedom to marry whomever they want.

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Colman Domingo Pays Tribute to Louis Gossett Jr. : ‘There Would Be No Me, if There Was No Him’

Gossett Jr., the trailblazing Oscar and Emmy winning actor, died Friday at age 87

By Colman Domingo

Colman Domingo

Colman Domingo is an Emmy winner, as well as Academy Award and Tony-nominated actor, playwright and director. Domingo and Gossett Jr. co-starred in 2023’s “ The Color Purple ,” one of the late Oscar winner’s final films.

There is a moment that our wunderkind director Blitz Bazawule set up for the great Louis Gossett Jr. and me that is one of my most memorable cinematic moments of my entire career. It is a moment created just for our offering of Alice Walker’s “The Color Purple.”

So much being said, so much left unsaid. Just the depth of Lou and I staring straight into each other’s souls and bringing generations of Black men with us in that room. Our families. The history of slavery and its effects on the Black family. The women have left the Easter dinner table — and left no crumbs — as liberation took hold in that hot Georgia home. In our eyes I felt horror, fear, trauma, pain, hurt, rage and regret.

The first day that I met Mr. Gossett, I said “Thank you.” Those were the words I wanted to say. Because I knew that there would be no me, if there was no him. And other giants like him. I always looked to him and James Earl Jones and Glynn Turman and Roscoe Lee Browne and Paul Winfield and Morgan Freeman and Sidney Poitier. Men who came from the theater, like me, who gave such dignity to heroes and villains. Every character had grace in some way shape or form.

Lou and I had many moments off screen just chatting about life and art, and he constantly would talk about the responsibility of youth. To get involved and make this world better. He was a teacher and a humanitarian. He wore Kente cloth and sat with a walking stick. He would ask me after a take, with all the humility in the world, “Was that okay?” I looked at him and said, “Anything you give us is a gift.” And I meant that. He brought years of experience, intelligence, with good humor, light and love to our set. I felt a kinship with him. I called him “Daddy” the entire time, since he was Ole Mista and I was his son.

When he wrapped, I kissed his hands twice. I asked Fantasia to sing a song of thank you. He told us, “Knock ‘em dead, now.” He had tears in his eyes. I couldn’t thank him enough for all that he had given. He ran his race for us. It is up to us to “Knock ‘em dead, now.”

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Ugandan Court Upholds Draconian Anti-Gay Law

The law, which includes the death penalty as a punishment in some cases, has been strongly condemned, including by the United States.

By Abdi Latif Dahir

Reporting from Nairobi, Kenya

Uganda’s Constitutional Court on Wednesday largely upheld a sweeping anti-gay law that President Yoweri Museveni signed last year, undermining the efforts of activists and rights groups to abolish legislation that drew worldwide condemnation and strained the East African nation’s relationship with the West.

The legislation, which was signed into law by Mr. Museveni in May, calls for life imprisonment for anyone who engages in gay sex. Anyone who tries to have same-sex relations could face up to a decade in prison.

Uganda has faced international consequences for passing the law, with the World Bank suspending all new funding and the United States imposing sanctions and visa restrictions on top Ugandan officials. But the law was popular in Uganda, a landlocked nation of over 48 million people, where religious and political leaders frequently inveigh against homosexuality.

The fallout for Uganda will be watched closely in other African countries where a nti-gay sentiment is on the rise and anti-gay legislation is under consideration, including in Kenya, Namibia, Tanzania and South Sudan. In February, Ghana’s Parliament passed an anti-gay law , but the country’s president said that he would not sign it until the Supreme Court ruled on its constitutionality.

In Uganda, the five-judge bench said the law violated several key rights granted in the country’s Constitution, including the right to health and privacy. They also struck down sections of the law that criminalized failing to report homosexual acts, allowing any premises to be used to commit homosexuality or giving someone a “terminal illness” through gay sex.

But in their 200-page judgment, the judges largely rejected the request to quash the law.

“We decline to nullify the Anti-Homosexuality Act 2023 in its entirety, neither will we grant a permanent injunction against its enforcement,” Richard Buteera, one of the judges, said in a reading of the judgment’s summary to a packed courtroom. He added, “The upshot of our judgment is that this petition substantially fails.”

Frank Mugisha, a prominent gay rights activist and one of the petitioners, said that they would appeal the Constitutional Court’s decision to the Supreme Court.

“I am very sad,” Mr. Mugisha said in a telephone interview. “The judges have been swayed by the propaganda from the anti-gay movement who kept saying that this is in the public interest and refuting all the arguments that we made that relate to the Constitution and international obligations.”

The law in Uganda decrees the death penalty for anyone convicted of “aggravated homosexuality,” a sweeping term defined as acts of same-sex relations with minors or disabled people, those carried out under threat or while someone is unconscious. Even being accused of what the law refers to as “attempted aggravated homosexuality” carries a prison sentence of up to 14 years.

Passage of the law — which also imposes harsh fines on organizations convicted of promoting homosexuality — alarmed human rights advocates, who said it would give new impetus for the introduction of equivalent draconian laws in other African nations. Uganda is among the African countries that already ban gay sex, but the new law creates additional offenses and prescribes far more punitive penalties.

The United Nations, along with local and international human rights groups, said that the law conflicted with Uganda’s Constitution and that it would most likely be used to harass and intimidate its L.G.B.T.Q. population.

The ratification of the Anti-Homosexuality Act, as the law is officially known, renewed scrutiny of the government of Mr. Museveni, who has ruled Uganda with a tight grip for almost four decades. Mr. Museveni, his son — whom he recently appointed as head of the army — and other top members of his government have been accused of detaining, beating, torturing and disappearing critics and opposition members.

The law was first introduced in March last year by a lawmaker who said that homosexuality was becoming pervasive and threatening the sanctity of the Ugandan family. Some legislators also claimed that their constituents had notified them of alleged plans to promote and recruit schoolchildren into homosexuality — accusations that rights groups said were false.

Anti-gay sentiment is prevalent among Muslim and Christian lawmakers and religious leaders from both faiths. They say that homosexuality is a Western import, and they held rallies to show support for the law before it passed.

A few weeks after it was introduced in Parliament, the law was quickly passed with only two lawmakers opposing it.

Activists, academics and human rights lawyers who challenged the law in court said it contravened not only Uganda’s Constitution, which guarantees freedom from discrimination, but also international treaties, including the African Charter on Human and Peoples’ Rights. They also argued that Parliament passed the law too quickly, with not enough time allowed for public participation — arguments the judgments rejected in their decision.

Human rights groups said that since the law was introduced and passed, L.G.B.T.Q. Ugandans have faced intensive violence and harassment.

Convening for Equality, a coalition of human rights groups in Uganda, has documented hundreds of rights violations and abuses, including arrests and forced anal examinations. Gay and transgender Ugandans have also been evicted from their homes and beaten up by family members — forcing many to flee to neighboring countries like Kenya .

The law’s passage brought swift repercussions for Uganda, too. Health experts also worried the law would hinder medical access for gay people, especially those seeking H.I.V. testing, prevention and treatment.

The United States said it would restrict visas for current and former Ugandan officials who were believed to be responsible for enacting the anti-gay policy. The Biden administration also issued a business advisory for Uganda and removed the country from a special program that allows African products duty-free access to the United States.

The World Bank, citing the anti-gay law, also said in August it would halt all future funding to Uganda . The economic pressures continued to pile on, with foreign travelers and investors staying away from Uganda.

Ahead of the ruling, Mr. Museveni remained publicly defiant, but analysts and diplomats said he privately worried about his country’s being labeled an outcast, and the devastating economic repercussions it was causing.

On Wednesday, members of the L.G.B.T.Q. community said the court’s judgment would not only amplify the government’s antagonism toward gay people but also deepen the animosity they face from members of the public.

The court’s decision opens a “Pandora’s box” that will push the lives of gay Ugandans “further more into darkness,” said Steven Kabuye, a gay rights advocate who fled to Canada after he was stabbed in January in an attack that activists said was spurred by homophobia linked to the law.

“I feel very disappointed but not surprised,” Mr. Kabuye said in a telephone interview.

Abdi Latif Dahir is the East Africa correspondent for The Times, based in Nairobi, Kenya. He covers a broad range of issues including geopolitics, business, society and arts. More about Abdi Latif Dahir