year up essay sample

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Why I Want to Join Year Up, Personal Statement Example

Pages: 2

Words: 619

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I have spent time researching options for furthering my education. When I found Year Up, I instantly felt this exactly what I needed.  I would love an opportunity to join Year Up to continue learning about computer technology.  I have a great passion and desire for technology and I know I have a lot to learn about it.  I have tried to pursue an education on my own, and unfortunately the cost of it kept me from being able to finish. That is why I began looking for alternate means for creating a better future for myself. Looking through the website I believe I would be a perfect candidate for the training in computer help desk and desktop training.  With more education and formal training I think I could pursue a successful career in this field.

I attended college for a short time, specializing in IT training. I did very well and caught on quickly.  From what I was able to learn during that time, I feel that this is definitely the career path I want to follow. It is something I comprehended well, and love doing.  How many people can honestly say they love what they do for a living? One day, I will be one of those people.  During my free time, I put a lot of hours in working with different applications on the computer to get a better understanding and working knowledge of what all they can do.  When interacting with individuals who have advanced education in IT training, I ask a lot of questions and try to learn from their expertise.  I am comfortable working with Graphic Applications that are related to pictures and video editing.  I have come to the realization that there is so much more to learn and I am eager to do so.

I volunteer at my church, helping primarily with senior citizens.  I live with my Grandmother, as she is getting older I see first-hand how much less she is personally capable of doing.  At my church I teach the senior citizens how to work on the computer and use basic programs. Many of the individuals have little to no experience with computers. They enjoy interacting through email and basic internet.  Some of the people like working on photo editing, and are learning what all they can do with that. It is exciting to see people catch on to what I am showing them, and it always amazes them how much technology is available.

If given this opportunity, I will work hard and take full advantage of this privilege awarded to me.  My mother and father have life-time issues so this is something I need to do for myself. I need to create a better future for myself, and hopefully someday, my family. I live with my grandmother, and I would like to be able to take care of her when and if that time comes as well. Upon completing the Year Up program I will be better equipped to get a good job. I will then be able to continue furthering my education, because I will have a better job to be able to afford it.  The sky is the limits for me; this is a starting point for my future. I did not have the best adolescence.  I have come across stumbling block after stumbling block, now I feel they are best viewed as stepping stones.  In today’s society it demands education to get ahead.  I may have had stumbling blocks prior in my education, but I am hoping for an opportunity to change that. I appreciate your consideration in accepting me in the Year Up program.  If awarded to me, I will utilize it to the fullest extent possible.

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Reasons Why I Want to Join a Year Up Program

I can say the reason I want to join the year-up program is that I am young and very devoted to learning new things. Also, I have reached that point in my life when I realize that I have to be more independent, responsible, and mature. I have to make my own smart decisions to determine how successful I’ll be in life. The reason I think I am a good candidate for this year-up program is that I’m used to the two terms hard work and determination.

The reason I say this is because I started this school on the Southside of Chicago Christian Fenger High School. As I began to go there I realized that high school, in particular, wasn’t pushing me to my full potential. I needed something that would push me to my highest limit.

My road to the year-up program

So I started to look around for better schools in the area. That is when I ran across DeVry Advantage Academy High School.

It’s a program that gave me the opportunity to graduate with my college degree in Network Systems Administration when I graduate from high school. And Boy did I pick a school, DeVry pushed me to limits that I never thought I had. Coming from a different background I was very quiet and antisocial my junior year at DeVry because I didn’t know how to talk to other races of people, It was a big step and a big change for me.

Proficient in: Communication

“ Really polite, and a great writer! Task done as described and better, responded to all my questions promptly too! ”

But as I started to go to the program I started to warm up to the idea and the people that I was going to school with on a daily basis was pretty cool. I have learned a lot about different culture and ethnicity. At DeVry, I can’t say that I have made friends I have made the family. There are many words that I could give you to describe me but there is one word in particular that I could say that stands out from the rest, and that word is dedication.

My motivation to the year-up program

Year up program review.

When I start something I stick with it to the end, no matter how many people doubt or look down on me I will always stay strong until the end. I have overcome so much in my life to just give up now; when I was 15 years old I lost my mother to cancer. This left me emotionally scared because I was very close to my mother ( Best Friend) and the thought of never seeing her again just killed me inside. As time passed I stopped really caring about a lot of things, such as school and even my own safety. I started to get into a lot of fights and really didn’t care much for school work. I cut myself from friends and family and just stayed to myself. Until one day I heard my father in his room crying it was kind of a shock to hear him that way because I never heard him cry before.

Then I realized that I wasn’t the only person that lost someone special. My father was left with 4 children to take care of all by him, I had to realize that he didn’t have help anymore that he had to be the mother and father of the house and the things I was doing was just adding on to the stress from my mother passing away. So then I asked myself the most life-changing questions that I have ever asked myself what would my mother want?, what do I really want out of life?

This caused me to go to school do all my work and even start communicating with my family and friends again. Then I realized that I really enjoy learning new things and advancing intellectually. I can say that my worst fear is being a failure Being a grown man wishing I finished high school or college, stressed out trying to figure how I’m about to pay my rent for next month and not being able to provide and help my family when they really need it. Both sister and my brother and even my father have recently had children.

This has made life a little more stressful and hard. My brother and sisters have dropped out of college and started work at minimum wage jobs to provide for their children. I sometimes wish I could show them that their lives don’t have to stop here. And show my father that he is not alone and show him that I can be that man that he and mother raised me to be.

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• Knowledge Base
• College essay

How to Write a College Essay | A Complete Guide & Examples

The college essay can make or break your application. It’s your chance to provide personal context, communicate your values and qualities, and set yourself apart from other students.

A standout essay has a few key ingredients:

• A unique, personal topic
• A compelling, well-structured narrative
• A clear, creative writing style
• Evidence of self-reflection and insight

To achieve this, it’s crucial to give yourself enough time for brainstorming, writing, revision, and feedback.

In this comprehensive guide, we walk you through every step in the process of writing a college admissions essay.

Table of contents

Why do you need a standout essay, start organizing early, choose a unique topic, outline your essay, start with a memorable introduction, write like an artist, craft a strong conclusion, revise and receive feedback, frequently asked questions.

While most of your application lists your academic achievements, your college admissions essay is your opportunity to share who you are and why you’d be a good addition to the university.

Your college admissions essay accounts for about 25% of your application’s total weight一and may account for even more with some colleges making the SAT and ACT tests optional. The college admissions essay may be the deciding factor in your application, especially for competitive schools where most applicants have exceptional grades, test scores, and extracurriculars.

What do colleges look for in an essay?

Admissions officers want to understand your background, personality, and values to get a fuller picture of you beyond your test scores and grades. Here’s what colleges look for in an essay :

• Demonstrated values and qualities
• Vulnerability and authenticity
• Self-reflection and insight
• Creative, clear, and concise writing skills

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It’s a good idea to start organizing your college application timeline in the summer of your junior year to make your application process easier. This will give you ample time for essay brainstorming, writing, revision, and feedback.

While timelines will vary for each student, aim to spend at least 1–3 weeks brainstorming and writing your first draft and at least 2–4 weeks revising across multiple drafts. Remember to leave enough time for breaks in between each writing and editing stage.

Create an essay tracker sheet

If you’re applying to multiple schools, you will have to juggle writing several essays for each one. We recommend using an essay tracker spreadsheet to help you visualize and organize the following:

• Deadlines and number of essays needed
• Prompt overlap, allowing you to write one essay for similar prompts

You can build your own essay tracker using our free Google Sheets template.

College essay tracker template

Ideally, you should start brainstorming college essay topics the summer before your senior year. Keep in mind that it’s easier to write a standout essay with a unique topic.

If you want to write about a common essay topic, such as a sports injury or volunteer work overseas, think carefully about how you can make it unique and personal. You’ll need to demonstrate deep insight and write your story in an original way to differentiate it from similar essays.

What makes a good topic?

• Meaningful and personal to you
• Uncommon or has an unusual angle
• Reveals something different from the rest of your application

Brainstorming questions

You should do a comprehensive brainstorm before choosing your topic. Here are a few questions to get started:

• What are your top five values? What lived experiences demonstrate these values?
• What adjectives would your friends and family use to describe you?
• What challenges or failures have you faced and overcome? What lessons did you learn from them?
• What makes you different from your classmates?
• What are some objects that represent your identity, your community, your relationships, your passions, or your goals?
• Whom do you admire most? Why?
• What three people have significantly impacted your life? How did they influence you?

How to identify your topic

Here are two strategies for identifying a topic that demonstrates your values:

• Start with your qualities : First, identify positive qualities about yourself; then, brainstorm stories that demonstrate these qualities.
• Start with a story : Brainstorm a list of memorable life moments; then, identify a value shown in each story.

After choosing your topic, organize your ideas in an essay outline , which will help keep you focused while writing. Unlike a five-paragraph academic essay, there’s no set structure for a college admissions essay. You can take a more creative approach, using storytelling techniques to shape your essay.

Two common approaches are to structure your essay as a series of vignettes or as a single narrative.

Vignettes structure

The vignette, or montage, structure weaves together several stories united by a common theme. Each story should demonstrate one of your values or qualities and conclude with an insight or future outlook.

This structure gives the admissions officer glimpses into your personality, background, and identity, and shows how your qualities appear in different areas of your life.

Topic: Museum with a “five senses” exhibit of my experiences

• Introduction: Tour guide introduces my museum and my “Making Sense of My Heritage” exhibit
• Story: Racial discrimination with my eyes
• Lesson: Using my writing to document truth
• Story: Broadway musical interests
• Lesson: Finding my voice
• Story: Smells from family dinner table
• Lesson: Appreciating home and family
• Story: Washing dishes
• Lesson: Finding moments of peace in busy schedule
• Story: Biking with Ava
• Lesson: Finding pleasure in job well done
• Conclusion: Tour guide concludes tour, invites guest to come back for “fall College Collection,” featuring my search for identity and learning.

Single story structure

The single story, or narrative, structure uses a chronological narrative to show a student’s character development over time. Some narrative essays detail moments in a relatively brief event, while others narrate a longer journey spanning months or years.

Single story essays are effective if you have overcome a significant challenge or want to demonstrate personal development.

Topic: Sports injury helps me learn to be a better student and person

• Situation: Football injury
• Challenge: Friends distant, teachers don’t know how to help, football is gone for me
• Turning point: Starting to like learning in Ms. Brady’s history class; meeting Christina and her friends
• My reactions: Reading poetry; finding shared interest in poetry with Christina; spending more time studying and with people different from me
• Insight: They taught me compassion and opened my eyes to a different lifestyle; even though I still can’t play football, I’m starting a new game

Brainstorm creative insights or story arcs

Regardless of your essay’s structure, try to craft a surprising story arc or original insights, especially if you’re writing about a common topic.

Never exaggerate or fabricate facts about yourself to seem interesting. However, try finding connections in your life that deviate from cliché storylines and lessons.

Admissions officers read thousands of essays each year, and they typically spend only a few minutes reading each one. To get your message across, your introduction , or hook, needs to grab the reader’s attention and compel them to read more..

Avoid starting your introduction with a famous quote, cliché, or reference to the essay itself (“While I sat down to write this essay…”).

While you can sometimes use dialogue or a meaningful quotation from a close family member or friend, make sure it encapsulates your essay’s overall theme.

Find an original, creative way of starting your essay using the following two methods.

Option 1: Start with an intriguing hook

Begin your essay with an unexpected statement to pique the reader’s curiosity and compel them to carefully read your essay. A mysterious introduction disarms the reader’s expectations and introduces questions that can only be answered by reading more.

Option 2: Start with vivid imagery

Illustrate a clear, detailed image to immediately transport your reader into your memory. You can start in the middle of an important scene or describe an object that conveys your essay’s theme.

A college application essay allows you to be creative in your style and tone. As you draft your essay, try to use interesting language to enliven your story and stand out .

Show, don’t tell

“Tell” in writing means to simply state a fact: “I am a basketball player.” “ Show ” in writing means to use details, examples, and vivid imagery to help the reader easily visualize your memory: “My heart races as I set up to shoot一two seconds, one second一and score a three-pointer!”

First, reflect on every detail of a specific image or scene to recall the most memorable aspects.

• What are the most prominent images?
• Are there any particular sounds, smells, or tastes associated with this memory?
• What emotion or physical feeling did you have at that time?

Be vulnerable to create an emotional response

You don’t have to share a huge secret or traumatic story, but you should dig deep to express your honest feelings, thoughts, and experiences to evoke an emotional response. Showing vulnerability demonstrates humility and maturity. However, don’t exaggerate to gain sympathy.

Use appropriate style and tone

Make sure your essay has the right style and tone by following these guidelines:

• Use a conversational yet respectful tone: less formal than academic writing, but more formal than texting your friends.
• Prioritize using “I” statements to highlight your perspective.
• Write within your vocabulary range to maintain an authentic voice.
• Write concisely, and use the active voice to keep a fast pace.
• Follow grammar rules (unless you have valid stylistic reasons for breaking them).

You should end your college essay with a deep insight or creative ending to leave the reader with a strong final impression. Your college admissions essay should avoid the following:

• Summarizing what you already wrote
• Stating your hope of being accepted to the school
• Mentioning character traits that should have been illustrated in the essay, such as “I’m a hard worker”

Here are two strategies to craft a strong conclusion.

Option 1: Full circle, sandwich structure

The full circle, or sandwich, structure concludes the essay with an image, idea, or story mentioned in the introduction. This strategy gives the reader a strong sense of closure.

In the example below, the essay concludes by returning to the “museum” metaphor that the writer opened with.

Option 2: Revealing your insight

You can use the conclusion to show the insight you gained as a result of the experiences you’ve described. Revealing your main message at the end creates suspense and keeps the takeaway at the forefront of your reader’s mind.

Revise your essay before submitting it to check its content, style, and grammar. Get feedback from no more than two or three people.

It’s normal to go through several rounds of revision, but take breaks between each editing stage.

Also check out our college essay examples to see what does and doesn’t work in an essay and the kinds of changes you can make to improve yours.

Respect the word count

Most schools specify a word count for each essay , and you should stay within 10% of the upper limit.

Remain under the specified word count limit to show you can write concisely and follow directions. However, don’t write too little, which may imply that you are unwilling or unable to write a thoughtful and developed essay.

Check your content, style, and grammar

• First, check big-picture issues of message, flow, and clarity.
• Then, check for style and tone issues.
• Finally, focus on eliminating grammar and punctuation errors.

Get feedback

Get feedback from 2–3 people who know you well, have good writing skills, and are familiar with college essays.

• Teachers and guidance counselors can help you check your content, language, and tone.
• Friends and family can check for authenticity.
• An essay coach or editor has specialized knowledge of college admissions essays and can give objective expert feedback.

The checklist below helps you make sure your essay ticks all the boxes.

College admissions essay checklist

I’ve organized my essay prompts and created an essay writing schedule.

I’ve done a comprehensive brainstorm for essay topics.

I’ve selected a topic that’s meaningful to me and reveals something different from the rest of my application.

I’ve created an outline to guide my structure.

I’ve crafted an introduction containing vivid imagery or an intriguing hook that grabs the reader’s attention.

I’ve written my essay in a way that shows instead of telling.

I’ve shown positive traits and values in my essay.

I’ve demonstrated self-reflection and insight in my essay.

I’ve used appropriate style and tone .

I’ve concluded with an insight or a creative ending.

I’ve revised my essay , checking my overall message, flow, clarity, and grammar.

I’ve respected the word count , remaining within 10% of the upper word limit.

Congratulations!

It looks like your essay ticks all the boxes. A second pair of eyes can help you take it to the next level – Scribbr's essay coaches can help.

Colleges want to be able to differentiate students who seem similar on paper. In the college application essay , they’re looking for a way to understand each applicant’s unique personality and experiences.

Your college essay accounts for about 25% of your application’s weight. It may be the deciding factor in whether you’re accepted, especially for competitive schools where most applicants have exceptional grades, test scores, and extracurricular track records.

A standout college essay has several key ingredients:

• A unique, personally meaningful topic
• A memorable introduction with vivid imagery or an intriguing hook
• Specific stories and language that show instead of telling
• Vulnerability that’s authentic but not aimed at soliciting sympathy
• Clear writing in an appropriate style and tone
• A conclusion that offers deep insight or a creative ending

While timelines will differ depending on the student, plan on spending at least 1–3 weeks brainstorming and writing the first draft of your college admissions essay , and at least 2–4 weeks revising across multiple drafts. Don’t forget to save enough time for breaks between each writing and editing stage.

You should already begin thinking about your essay the summer before your senior year so that you have plenty of time to try out different topics and get feedback on what works.

Most college application portals specify a word count range for your essay, and you should stay within 10% of the upper limit to write a developed and thoughtful essay.

You should aim to stay under the specified word count limit to show you can follow directions and write concisely. However, don’t write too little, as it may seem like you are unwilling or unable to write a detailed and insightful narrative about yourself.

If no word count is specified, we advise keeping your essay between 400 and 600 words.

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