conflict experience essay

Experience of Interpersonal Conflicts Essay

Interpersonal conflicts are inseparable elements of living in human society and building relations with other people. Even though their scope varies, there are some universal strategies, which can be deployed to solve them, referred to as communication theories. The key to using them successfully is learning to identify the needed theory and finding the ways to adapt it to cope with a conflict on a case-by-case basis. This paper is an attempt to analyze the personal experience of the collision of interests and applying the course material to handling it.

There were numerous conflicts I was involved in, but I decided to choose for analysis the one, which is the most significant concern to me. Most children have conflicts with their parents without regard to their age and social status. I am not an exception to this overall rule. I often have conflicts with my parents over my choice of lifestyle and spending free time. The parties involved are my father and mother on one hand and me on the other.

The conflict is a lasting one because as long as I remember myself, my parents taught me what I should think that they know what is better for me. As I grew older, I believed that I was adult enough to make similar choices by myself deciding where to spend time with my friends or how to manage my day. Every time I tried to prove it to my parents, we started quarreling. I believe that the reason for the conflict is that they refuse to accept that I have grown up.

Even though my father and mother want to protect me from making mistakes, which might affect my further welfare, I cannot see the reasons why choosing a hobby is a bad thing. The nature of our conflict may come down to the fact that family ties have always played a significant role in making the life decisions of both mom and dad. So, it might seem appropriate to them to direct me throughout my life just the way their parents did.

Interfamily conflicts, i.e. the conflicts between children and their parents, have become the subject of numerous scholarly studies in different areas of research from psychology to communication. I believe that my case is closely related to the course materials and scholarly articles because the newly obtained knowledge might be beneficial for determining the appropriate model of communication with my parents and coping with the problem in our family.

As for the course materials, they are relevant because they serve as the background for identifying the nature of the conflict and identifying the strategies for overcoming it. Speaking of the scholarly articles, they are the sources of additional knowledge necessary to improve the understanding of the initially received information and finding the ways that have proved to be effective in cases similar to mine.

The primary matter of concern in our family is the issue of ineffective communication. The model of communication is often viewed through the prism of cultural norms and ethnic background. That said, there are different dimensions of interfamily dialogues. They are based on the perception of power and freedom to express opinions. For example, my family unit is characterized by what is referred to as vertical-horizontal orientation of power distance.

This type of strategy for building family relations implies more authority of parents to control their children’s lives regardless of their age (Shearman, Dumlao, & Kagawa, 2008). In addition to it, the findings of some investigations point to the fact that interfamily conflicts are often evoked not only by ineffective communication but also the discrepancies in the perception of life and central values as well as the differences in developmental needs, i.e. what is known as generation gap (Birditt, Miller, Fingerman, & Lefkowitz, 2009). These scholarly studies have become a supplementation to the course materials, which have not mentioned similar ideas.

There are different types of conflict resolution styles. For example, some authors identify withdrawal, positive problem solving, and conflict engagement as the primary strategies for solving conflicts. Withdrawal is characterized by ignoring the existence of the problem. It means that the parties involved do not recognize the existence and significance of the problem. The second strategy, positive problem solving, implies conducting negotiations to find the most appropriate and comfortable solution to the challenge.

Finally, conflict engagement is about losing control over situations and emotions and getting involved in the active conflict (Doorn, Branje, & Meeus, 2011). Cahn and Abigail (2014) highlight that people in conflict choose either withdrawal or aggression, which makes conflicts ambiguous and unpredictable. The authors also note that there are only two types of strategies, which can be used for handling problems – destructive and constructive.

Recollecting the findings of the scholarly articles mentioned above, it can be said that positive problem solving is a constructive strategy while conflict engagement and withdrawal are destructive ones. Even though withdrawal is ignoring the conflict, it might lead to its escalation in the future.

Communication is key to establishing a comfortable conflict-free atmosphere in a family unit (Galvin, Braithwaite, & Bylund, 2015). If it is impossible to avoid conflicts, there are different communication strategies, which can be used by family members. Some of them are aggressive, adaptive, protective, and inconsistent communication. Aggressive communication is characterized by overt conflict and verbal violence. Adaptive strategy implies functional dialogue, which is close to reaching constructive solutions. Protective communication is about determining that one parent is a protector of a child’s interests.

Finally, the inconsistent type is simply ineffective. It means that the preference is given to power instead of well-considered arguments (Haverfield, Theiss, & Leustek, 2016). Cahn and Abigail (2014) determine similar types of communication. However, they identify what is known as collaboration and compromise. The first type of communication is similar to adaptive communication while compromising strategy implies trading out the desired conflict solution by providing arguments and something of benefit in return for the demanded changes.

To sum up, while conducting this research, I have come up with several significant conclusions. First of all, I realized that the model of communication used within my family unit was ineffective and inconsistent. The same can be said about the deployed conflict resolution type. In most cases, I chose to ignore the existence of the problem, i.e. withdraw from the conflict. When I tried to make my parents understand me, I got involved in overt conflict using an aggressive communication strategy.

I believe that there is a perfect solution to my problem. The challenge could be handled if I use adaptive communication. I think it might also be useful to become open in expressing my thoughts and opinions instead of disregarding the issue.

Birditt, K. S., Miller, L. M., Fingerman, K. L., & Lefkowitz, E. S. (2009). Tensions in the parent and adult child relationship: Links to solidarity and ambivalence. Psychology and Aging, 24 (2), 287-295.

Cahn, D. D., & Abigail, R. A. (2014). Managing conflict through communication (5th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education.

Doorn, M. D., Branje, S., & Meeus, W. (2011). Developmental changes in conflict resolution styles in parent–adolescent relationships: A four-wave longitudinal study. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 40 (1), 97-107.

Galvin, K. M., Braithwaite, D. O., & Bylund, C. L. (2015). Family communication: Cohesion and change (9th ed.). New York, NY: Routledge.

Haverfield, M. C., Theiss, J.A., & Leustek, J. (2016). Characteristics of communication in families of alcoholics. Journal of Family Communication, 16 (2), 111-127.

Shearman, S. M., Dumlao, R., & Kagawa, N. (2008). Cultural variations in accounts by American and Japanese young adults: Recalling a major conflict with parents. Journal of Family Communication, 8 (3), 186-211.

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Essays About Conflict in Life: Top 5 Examples and Prompts

Conflict is a broad and gripping topic, but most struggle to write about it. See our top essays about conflict in life examples and prompts to start your piece.

Conflict occurs when two people with different opinions, feelings, and behaviours disagree. It’s a common occurrence that we can observe wherever and whenever we are. Although conflicts usually imply negative aspects, they also have benefits such as stronger relationships and better communication.

To aid you in your paper, here are five examples to familiarize you with the subject: 

1. Useful Notes On 4 Major Types Of Conflicts (Motivational Conflict) By Raghavendra Pras

2. encountering conflict by julius gregory, 3. complete guide to understanding conflict and conflict resolution by prasanna, 4. analysis of personal conflict experience by anonymous on gradesfixer, 5. personal conflict resolving skills essay by anonymous on ivypanda, 1. conflict: what is and how to avoid it, 2. conflicts in our everyday lives, 3. review on movies or books about conflicts, 4. actions and conflicts , 5. conflicts at home, 6. conflicts that changed my life, 7. my personal experience in covert conflict, 8. cascading conflicts, 9. how does conflict in life benefit you, 10. the importance of conflict management.

“Conflict… results when two or more motives drive behaviour towards incompatible goals.”

Pras regards conflict as a source of frustration with four types. Experimental psychologists identified them as approach-approach, avoidance-avoidance, approach-avoidance, and multiple approach-avoidance. He discusses each through his essay and uses theoretical analysis with real-life examples to make it easier for the readers to understand.

“The nature of conflict shows that conflict can either push people away or bring them into having a closer, more comfortable relationship.”

The main points of Gregory’s essay are the typical causes and effects of conflicts. He talks about how people should not avoid conflicts in their life and instead solve them to learn and grow. However, he’s also aware that no matter if a dispute is big or small, it can lead to severe consequences when it’s wrongly dealt with. He also cites real-life events to prove his points. At the end of the essay, he acknowledges that one can’t wholly avoid conflict because it’s part of human nature.

“…it is important to remember that regardless of the situation, it is always possible to resolve a conflict in some constructive or meaningful way.”

To help the reader understand conflict and resolutions, Prasanna includes the types, causes, difficulties, and people’s reactions to it. She shows how broad conflict is by detailing each section. From simple misunderstandings to bad faith, the conflict has varying results that ultimately depend on the individuals involved in the situation. Prasanna ends the essay by saying that conflict is a part of life that everyone will have to go through, no matter the relationship they have with others. 

“I also now understand that trying to keep someone’s feelings from getting hurt might not always be the best option during a conflict.”

To analyze how conflict impacts lives, the author shares his personal experience. He refers to an ex-friend, Luke, as someone who most of their circle doesn’t like because of his personality. The author shares their arguments, such as when Luke wasn’t invited to a party and how they tried to protect his feelings by not telling Luke people didn’t want him to be there. Instead, they caved, and Luke was allowed to the gathering. However, Luke realized he wasn’t accepted at the party, and many were uncomfortable around him.

The essay further narrates that it was a mistake not to be honest from the beginning. Ultimately, the writer states that he would immediately tell someone the truth rather than make matters worse.

“To me if life did not have challenges and difficult circumstances we were never going to know the strength that we have in us.”

The essay delves into the writer’s conflicts concerning their personal feelings and professional boundaries. The author narrates how they initially had a good relationship with a senior until they filed for a leave. Naturally, they didn’t expect the coworker to lie and bring the situation to their committee. However, the author handled it instead of showing anger by respecting their relationship with the senior, controlling their emotion, and communicating properly.

10 Helpful Prompts On Essays About Conflict in Life

Below are easy writing prompts to use for your essay:

Define what constitutes a conflict and present cases to make it easier for the readers to imagine. To further engage your audience, give them imaginary situations where they can choose how to react and include the results of these reactions. 

If writing this prompt sounds like a lot of work, make it simple. Write a 5-paragraph essay instead.

There are several types of conflict that a person experiences throughout their life. First, discuss simple conflicts you observe around you. For example, the cashier misunderstands an order, your mom forgets to buy groceries, or you have clashing class schedules. 

Pick a movie or book and summarize its plot. Share your thoughts regarding how the piece tackles the conflicts and if you agree with the characters’ decisions. Try the 1985 movie The Heavenly Kid , directed by Cary Medoway, or Where the Conflict Really Lies: Science, Religion, and Naturalism by philosopher Alvin Plantinga.

In this essay, describe how actions can lead to conflict and how specific actions can make a conflict worse. Make your essay interesting by presenting various characters and letting them react differently to a particular conflict.

For example, Character A responds by being angry and making the situation worse. Meanwhile, Character B immediately solves the discord by respectfully asking others for their reasons. Through your essay, you’ll help your readers realize how actions significantly affect conflicts. You’ll also be able to clearly explain what conflicts are.

Your home is where you first learn how to handle conflicts, making it easier for your readers to relate to you. In your essay, tell a story of when you quarreled with a relative and how you worked it out.  For instance, you may have a petty fight with your sibling because you don’t want to share a toy. Then, share what your parents asked you to do and what you learned from your dispute.

If there are simple conflicts with no serious consequences, there are also severe ones that can impact individuals in the long run. Talk about it through your essay if you’re comfortable sharing a personal experience. For example, if your parents’ conflict ended in divorce, recount what it made you feel and how it affected your life.

Covert conflict occurs when two individuals have differences but do not openly discuss them. Have you experienced living or being with someone who avoids expressing their genuine feelings and emotions towards you or something? Write about it, what happened, and how the both of you resolved it.

Some results of cascading conflict are wars and revolutions. The underlying issues stem from a problem with a simple solution but will affect many aspects of the culture or community. For this prompt, pick a relevant historical happening. For instance, you can talk about King Henry VIII’s demand to divorce his first wife and how it changed the course of England’s royal bloodline and nobles.

People avoid conflict as much as possible because of its harmful effects, such as stress and fights. In this prompt, focus on its positive side. Discuss the pros of engaging in disputes, such as having better communication and developing your listening and people skills.

Explain what conflict management is and expound on its critical uses. Start by relaying a situation and then applying conflict resolution techniques. For example, you can talk about a team with difficulties making a united decision. To solve this conflict, the members should share their ideas and ensure everyone is allowed to speak and be heard.

Here are more essay writing tips to help you with your essay.

Maria Caballero is a freelance writer who has been writing since high school. She believes that to be a writer doesn't only refer to excellent syntax and semantics but also knowing how to weave words together to communicate to any reader effectively.

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Mastering The Art Of Writing A Great Conflict Essay

Table of Contents

… But how to write a conflict essay?

This task can become a real stone of stumbling for many students, especially when they write admissions essays.

The practice shows that students tend to describe conflicts in the one-dimensional narrative, where one side of the conflict is depicted as a knight in shining armor and the other side is a complete villain.

Of course, it is the simplest way to manage conflicts (as anyone sees clearly, who is right), however, this approach highlight the inability to give an unbiased assessment of both sides of the conflict.

Here we will cover the essentials of writing such essays and how to avoid the most common mistakes in the conflict papers.

Studying the basics of the conflict essay

What is conflict, and what are its causes? Is it possible to avoid it, and how to solve it? Who are the participants, and is there a possibility for them to have a peaceful order? Here are the main points that should be covered in your text.

But what are you going to write about?

Different vocabularies give so many different definitions of this term that it is so easy to be bamboozled by all these meanings.

• A war of a fight.
• A mental struggle.
• An opposition of persons or forces.
• Anything that sets the character back from achieving a specific goal (in fiction).

That is why it is crucial to read and understand the task before you start writing.

Writing guideline for the essays about conflict

Your journey to the perfect paper should start with the proper investigation:

• What is the type of conflict you are writing about?
• What are its reasons?
• What are the consequences?
• How to solve it?

Taking into consideration all mentioned above, it becomes clear that the disagreement between two people does not limit the type of conflict. It also may cover a conflict between a man and society or nature, or even a fight against self.

And do not forget about the key players: the protagonist and antagonist of the conflict.

As soon as you have defined the central conflicts and leading players, it is time to gather facts that prove this point of view. Arm yourself with a pen and start searching for the evidence of conflict in the literary work, if your task is to cover the conflict depicted in a novel or a poem.

You may use many sources for data collection; however, make sure that they are reliable and relevant. And do not forget to jot down the information about the source for proper referencing; otherwise, using materials without appropriate arrangement will be considered plagiarism.

Carefully analyze gathered material and single out a precise thesis statement that will be the basis of the paper. Later it will become the last sentence of the introduction, but now it is the basis of the outline for your essay on conflict. The basic outline template for such paper will look like this:

• A hook sentence – an interesting fact, question, quote, or anecdote.
• Introduction part that makes readers aware of the conflict.
• Thesis statement.
• 3 body paragraphs , each with one issue of the conflict and several proofs.
• Address whether the conflict was resolved or not.
• You may also discuss the ways of avoiding or solving the conflict.
• The conclusion  should cover the main points of the paper with the rephrasing of a thesis.

Breaking down a personal conflict essay

Two types of conflict can be covered in the essay – personal and internal. Personal, on its turn, can be divided into a conflict between people, or a person and organization, or a person and a state (especially in the countries of the totalitarian regime).

Usually, students prefer to describe their own conflict experience, for example, with parents or peers. In this case, one has to define the purpose of writing as thereon hangs the tone of the text. For example, the aim is to show that there are no right or wrong, but two legitimate points of view.

Then the tone of the paper will be empathic as the writer has the insight into the opposite point of view and there are two sides of every story.

What about an internal conflict essay?

Such essays deal with the psychological conflicts inside one person. Thus, they discuss what happens when we have to do something that is against ethical standards or values, or the clash of logical and emotional response to something.

Here much prominence should be given to the ways of overcoming this conflict and as a result, becoming a better person.

And in both cases, it is necessary to follow these guidelines to improve the quality of the text:

• Pay attention to the task requirements: do not exceed the word limit , arrange the quotes according to the chosen referencing style, format the paper properly.
• Make sure that the paper is plagiarism-free .
• Edit and proofread the text.

Take advantage of a well-written conflict essay example

As they say, seeing once is better than hearing twice. When you look through a top-notch paper written by a professional writer, everything clicks into place.

What is more, you can use such paper as a template for your own paper and as a source of inspiration.

…What’s not to love?

Can’t complete such task in time? Entrust it to the professionals! Save time and energy, while your flawless paper will be ready for you in no time!

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How to Write the “Overcoming Challenges” Essay + Examples

What’s covered:.

• What is the Overcoming Challenges Essay?
• Real Overcoming Challenges Essay Prompts
• How to Choose a Topic
• Writing Tips

Overcoming Challenges Essay Examples

• Where to Get Your Essay Edited

While any college essay can be intimidating, the Overcoming Challenges prompt often worries students the most. Those students who’ve been lucky enough not to experience trauma tend to assume they have nothing worth saying. On the other hand, students who’ve overcome larger obstacles may be hesitant to talk about them.

Regardless of your particular circumstances, there are steps you can take to make the essay writing process simpler. Here are our top tips for writing the overcoming challenges essay successfully.

What is the “Overcoming Challenges” Essay?

The overcoming challenges prompt shows up frequently in both main application essays (like the Common App) and supplemental essays. Because supplemental essays allow students to provide schools with additional information, applicants should be sure that the subject matter they choose to write about differs from what’s in their main essay.

Students often assume the overcoming challenges essay requires them to detail past traumas. While you can certainly write about an experience that’s had a profound effect on your life, it’s important to remember that colleges aren’t evaluating students based on the seriousness of the obstacle they overcame.

On the contrary, the goal of this essay is to show admissions officers that you have the intelligence and fortitude to handle any challenges that come your way. After all, college serves as an introduction to adult life, and schools want to know that the students they admit are up to the task. 

Real “Overcoming Challenges” Essay Prompts

To help you understand what the “Overcoming Challenges” essay looks like, here are a couple sample prompts.

Currently, the Common Application asks students to answer the following prompt in 650 words or less:

“The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?”

For the past several years, MIT has prompted students to write 200 to 250 words on the following:

“Tell us about the most significant challenge you’ve faced or something important that didn’t go according to plan. How did you manage the situation?”

In both cases, the prompts explicitly ask for your response to the challenge. The event itself isn’t as important as how it pushed you to grow.

How to Choose a Topic for an Essay on Overcoming Challenges

When it comes to finding the best topic for your overcoming challenges essays, there’s no right answer. The word “challenge” is ambiguous and could be used to reference a wide range of situations from prevailing over a bully to getting over your lifelong stage fright to appear in a school musical. Here are some suggestions to keep in mind when selecting an essay subject.

1. Avoid trivial or common topics

While there aren’t many hard-and-fast rules for choosing an essay topic, students should avoid overdone topics.

These include:

• Working hard in a challenging class
• Overcoming a sports injury
• Moving schools or immigrating to the US
• Tragedy (divorce, death, abuse)

Admissions officers have read numerous essays on the subject, so it’s harder for you to stand out (see our full list of cliché college essay topics to avoid ). If events like these were truly formative to you, you can still choose to write about them, but you’ll need to be as personal as possible. 

It’s also ideal if you have a less traditional storyline for a cliché topic; for example, if your sports injury led you to discover a new passion, that would be a more unique story than detailing how you overcame your injury and got back in the game.

Similarly, students may not want to write about an obstacle that admissions committees could perceive as low stakes, such as getting a B on a test, or getting into a small fight with a friend. The goal of this essay is to illustrate how you respond to adversity, so the topic you pick should’ve been at least impactful on your personal growth.

2. Pick challenges that demonstrate qualities you want to highlight

Students often mistakenly assume they need to have experienced exceptional circumstances like poverty, an abusive parent, or cancer to write a good essay. The truth is that the best topics will allow you to highlight specific personal qualities and share more about who you are. The essay should be less about the challenge itself, and more about how you responded to it.

Ask yourself what personality traits you want to emphasize, and see what’s missing in your application. Maybe you want to highlight your adaptability, for example, but that isn’t clearly expressed in your application. In this case, you might write about a challenge that put your adaptability to the test, or shaped you to become more adaptable.

Here are some examples of good topics we’ve seen over the years:

• Not having a coach for a sports team and becoming one yourself
• Helping a parent through a serious health issue
• Trying to get the school track dedicated to a coach
• Having to switch your Model UN position last-minute

Tips for Writing an Essay About Overcoming Challenges

Once you’ve selected a topic for your essays, it’s time to sit down and write. For best results, make sure your essay focuses on your efforts to tackle an obstacle rather than the problem itself. Additionally, you could avoid essay writing pitfalls by doing the following:

1. Choose an original essay structure

If you want your overcoming challenges essay to attract attention, aim to break away from more traditional structures. Most of these essays start by describing an unsuccessful attempt at a goal and then explain the steps the writer took to master the challenge. 

You can stand out by choosing a challenge you’re still working on overcoming, or focus on a mental or emotional challenge that spans multiple activities or events. For example, you might discuss your fear of public speaking and how that impacted your ability to coach your brother’s Little League team and run for Student Council. 

You can also choose a challenge that can be narrated in the moment, such as being put on the spot to teach a yoga class. These challenges can make particularly engaging essays, as you get to experience the writer’s thoughts and emotions as they unfold.

Keep in mind that you don’t necessarily need to have succeeded in your goal for this essay. Maybe you ran for an election and lost, or maybe you proposed a measure to the school board that wasn’t passed. It’s still possible to write a strong essay about topics like these as long as you focus on your personal growth. In fact, these may make for even stronger essays since they are more unconventional topics.

2. Focus on the internal

When writing about past experiences, you may be tempted to spend too much time describing specific people and events. With an Overcoming Challenges essay though, the goal is to focus on your thoughts and feelings.

For example, rather than detail all the steps you took to become a better public speaker, use the majority of your essay to describe your mental state as you embarked on the journey to achieving your goals. Were you excited, scared, anxious, or hopeful? Don’t be afraid to let the reader in on your innermost emotions and thoughts during this process.

3. Share what you learned 

An Overcoming Challenges essay should leave the reader with a clear understanding of what you learned on your journey, be it physical, mental, or emotional. There’s no need to explicitly say “this experience taught me X,” but your essay should at least implicitly share any lessons you learned. This can be done through your actions and in-the-moment reflections. Remember that the goal is to show admissions committees why your experiences make you a great candidate for admission. 

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the g arb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This essay is an excellent example because the writer turns an everyday challenge—starting a fire—into an exploration of her identity. The writer was once “a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes,” but has since traded her love of the outdoors for a love of music, writing, and reading. 

The story begins in media res , or in the middle of the action, allowing readers to feel as if we’re there with the writer. One of the essay’s biggest strengths is its use of imagery. We can easily visualize the writer’s childhood and the present day. For instance, she states that she “rubbed and rubbed [the twigs] until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers.”

The writing has an extremely literary quality, particularly with its wordplay. The writer reappropriates words and meanings, and even appeals to the senses: “My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame.” She later uses a parallelism to cleverly juxtapose her changed interests: “instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano.”

One of the essay’s main areas of improvement is its overemphasis on the “story” and lack of emphasis on the reflection. The second to last paragraph about changing perspective is crucial to the essay, as it ties the anecdote to larger lessons in the writer’s life. She states that she hasn’t changed, but has only shifted perspective. Yet, we don’t get a good sense of where this realization comes from and how it impacts her life going forward. 

The end of the essay offers a satisfying return to the fire imagery, and highlights the writer’s passion—the one thing that has remained constant in her life.

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

While the writer didn’t succeed in getting the track dedicated to Coach Stark, their essay is certainly successful in showing their willingness to push themselves and take initiative.

The essay opens with a quote from Coach Stark that later comes full circle at the end of the essay. We learn about Stark’s impact and the motivation for trying to get the track dedicated to him.

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The essay goes on to explain how the writer overcame their apprehension of public speaking, and likens the process of submitting an appeal to the school board to running a race. This metaphor makes the writing more engaging and allows us to feel the student’s emotions.

While the student didn’t ultimately succeed in getting the track dedicated, we learn about their resilience and initiative: I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Overall, this essay is well-done. It demonstrates growth despite failing to meet a goal, which is a unique essay structure. The running metaphor and full-circle intro/ending also elevate the writing in this essay.

Where to Get Your Overcoming Challenges Essay Edited

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The American Experience with Conflict Resolution

This essay describes how conflict resolution has figured in American history. It focuses on domestic manifestations, with particular emphasis on the prominent individuals and movements oriented around nonviolence, as well as on how the United States has sought to pursue conflict resolution overseas.

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The principle of conflict resolution occupies a prominent role in U.S. history. It has animated some of America’s most admired historical figures, and today it constitutes a common theme across academia and civil society. And once the United States became a top power in the 20th century, it became a major focus of U.S. foreign policy as well—albeit with limited degrees of success.

There is some irony in all this, given that America’s early history is steeped in violence and conflict. It gained its independence following a violent rebellion against British rule. There was also the massacre of Native American populations , the War of 1812, the brutalities of slavery, and a bloody civil war.

Critical Civil Society Contributions

And yet, despite this violent distant past, American society still enjoys a robust legacy of conflict resolution and nonviolence. To be sure, it lacks the deep heritage and religious and philosophical belief system undergirding nonviolence that is endemic to India—a rich tradition nicely articulated by Dr. Jyoti Pathania in her companion essay. But America has nonetheless made a very important contribution. It is perhaps best embodied in the long line of iconic American figures determined to overcome—and resolve—societal tensions and conflict through nonviolent advocacy.

For example, there were the abolitionists Frederick Douglass, who became one of America’s greatest anti-slavery orators, and Harry Tubman, who helped manage the famous Underground Railroad—the covert transport system that helped whisk slaves away to freedom. Later, early in the 20th century, there was Jane Addams, who became a prominent advocate for a variety of causes ranging from world peace to women’s rights.

Then came the U.S. civil rights movement. Its main leader, the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., often cited the influence of Mahatma Gandhi on his work. King once wrote that “Gandhi was the guiding light of our technique of nonviolent social change” during the 1955-56 Montgomery bus boycott—the successful effort by African-Americans to protest racial segregation on public transit in the Alabama state capital by not riding city buses. King visited India in 1959 and met with the late Gandhi’s family. After his trip, he wrote : “It was a marvelous thing to see the amazing results of a nonviolent campaign,”

Less well known in this tale is that John Lewis, another civil rights leader who later became a U.S. congressman, was also deeply influenced by Gandhi. He studied Gandhi in workshops on nonviolence, which would later guide Lewis when he staged sit-ins at lunch counters to protest segregation in restaurants in Tennessee.

As tensions within American society evolved later on, fresh campaigns of civil disobedience emerged that aimed to resolve new problems. Cesar Chavez, an activist who became prominent in the 1960s and 1970s, advocated on behalf of American small farmers and Latin American immigrants. Later in the 1970s, in response to rising crime in New York City, a group called the Guardian Angels was formed to patrol public transport in the city and to promote nonviolence. Clad in trademark red berets, the Guardian Angels looked out for people’s safety, made citizens’ arrests, and offered education programs for schools and businesses. The Guardian Angels are still active in New York today, and were seen patrolling the Crown Heights neighborhood of Brooklyn earlier this month after a rash of violent attacks on the Jewish community.

This legacy of nonviolent advocacy is complemented by a rich scholarly contribution to conflict resolution. It is a common field of study at American universities. Think tanks also embrace the study of conflict resolution, with several of them—such as the U.S. Institute of Peace and Stimson Center—adapting it as the overarching theme of their activities. There is also a flagship scholarly publication, the peer-reviewed Journal of Conflict Resolution , which has been in operation since 1957. The study of conflict resolution has also gone mainstream, as evidenced by the best-selling 1981 book Getting To Yes , which was published by three scholars at the Harvard Negotiation Project and focuses on how to successfully negotiate personal and professional disputes. The most recent updated edition was published in 2011.

Internationalizing Conflict Resolution

In recent decades, American civil society has increasingly oriented its conflict resolution efforts around disputes outside the United States. One example is the Track II dialogue process, a form of diplomacy that entails discussions between nongovernment interlocutors meant to build trust and pursue cooperation during trying times for relations between the interlocutors’ countries. The objective is for experts and former policymakers to try to lay the groundwork for smoother exchanges on official levels. A prominent U.S. public intellectual named Norman Cousins is credited with establishing the Track II process in 1960. After a U.S. spy jet was downed over Soviet skies in May of that year, Cousins invited a group of private American and Russian citizens to a meeting at Dartmouth College to discuss ways forward. Today, a variety of U.S. universities and think tanks sponsor Track IIs.

Then, in 1993, an American journalist named John Wallach established Seeds of Peace, an organization that recruits young people from conflicted countries to spend time together at a camp in Maine. This is one of America’s most well-known and sustained contributions to conflict resolution. To this point, Seeds of Peace has produced nearly 7,000 graduates from the Middle East, India and Pakistan, and the Balkans.

Once the United States became a superpower in the 20th century, conflict resolution became a component of U.S. foreign policy—though here, the results are mixed. On the one hand, the U.S. government has successfully brokered several peace accords. The Bill Clinton administration deserves specific credit in this regard. It helped produce the Oslo Accords between the Israelis and the Palestinians. Led by the late Richard Holbrooke , it also helped end conflict in the Balkans (for a short-lived period) with the Dayton Accords. Additionally, the Clinton administration, led by special envoy George Mitchell, helped broker the Good Friday Agreement that ended conflict in Northern Ireland.

More broadly, U.S. government mediation has helped deescalate tensions between conflicted states—including India and Pakistan.  It has also mediated internal political crises in other countries. One notable recent example was Secretary of State John Kerry’s negotiation of a power-sharing deal between the Afghan leaders Ashraf Ghani and Abdullah Abdullah after Afghanistan’s contested 2014 presidential election.

Challenges to Externally Focused Conflict Resolution

Not surprisingly, Washington has been less successful in areas of international conflict resolution where it is one of the parties to the conflict.

Washington was successful in helping negotiate peace deals after the first and second world wars—conventional conflicts, featuring state actors, in which America was on the winning side. The Korean War proved more of a challenge, but ultimately it resulted in a truce that has held up to the present day.

The Vietnam War marked a new phase of U.S. forces squaring off against non-state actors on the battlefield and struggling to reach agreements to end the fighting. In April 1975, U.S. military helicopters evacuated the remaining Americans from Vietnam at the U.S. embassy in Saigon. The war ended soon thereafter with the victory of America’s North Vietnamese enemies.

Later, in Iraq and Afghanistan, U.S. forces achieved their early military objectives, only to confront powerful insurgencies spawned by the U.S. military presence. Today in Afghanistan, American negotiators are trying to reach a deal with the Taliban that would enable U.S. forces to start withdrawing from the country—but such a deal, if finalized, would not end the war. It would likely result, at most, in a ceasefire that would stop attacks against US troops—but not against the Afghan security forces on the front lines of the war.

Two major conclusions emerge from this discussion.

First, American civil society is blessed with a rich tradition of organizations and individuals committed to conflict resolution. Given the current environment in the United States—one marked by deepening political and social polarization and divisions, as well as intensifying anti-immigrant and racist sentiment—it’s high time to tap in to this tradition more robustly. One idea is to take the remarkably simple Seeds of Peace model—bring people out of their conflict zones into safe spaces to calmly negotiate ways forward with their rivals—and widen it so that it targets people in the United States. Seeds of Peace itself has now started bringing young people from different American cities to its camp.

Second, pursuing conflict resolution in global disputes is more difficult in today’s complex world than it was earlier in history. Non-state nemeses hold increasing sway in a world in which nation states are not as powerful as they used to be. And the negotiating styles of the former differ from the latter’s. U.S. governments will have to take into account these changing realities of international relations, and consider course corrections in conflict resolution approaches abroad.

Indeed, as challenging as it is to pursue conflict resolution at home, it’s arguably even harder to do it overseas.

This piece is part of a joint research collaboration project between the Woodrow Wilson Center and the Centre for Land Warfare Studies in New Delhi . 

Conflict Resolution: Perspectives from India and the United States

Conflict Resolution Practices, Skills & Orientations in the Indian Context

This essay reflects on the rich legacy of the Indian Conflict resolution institutions, skills and practices which have been embedded in the religious, cultural, philosophical heritage, indigenous norms, traditions, as well as in the civil society and politics too.

About the Author

Michael kugelman, indo-pacific program.

The Indo-Pacific Program promotes policy debate and intellectual discussions on US interests in the Asia-Pacific as well as political, economic, security, and social issues relating to the world’s most populous and economically dynamic region.    Read more

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Analysis of Strategies of Conflict Resolution from Personal Experience

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Published: Jul 30, 2019

Words: 1136 | Pages: 2 | 6 min read

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