essay on helping a friend

Essay on Helping Someone

Students are often asked to write an essay on Helping Someone in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Helping Someone

What is helping.

Helping means giving aid or support to someone who needs it. It can be as simple as sharing your lunch with a friend or as big as helping a neighbor fix their house. When we help, we make someone’s life a little easier.

Why Should We Help?

Helping others is a good thing to do. It makes us feel good about ourselves and brings happiness to others. It also strengthens our connections with people. We learn to understand and care for others when we help them.

Ways to Help

There are many ways to help others. You can give your time, share your skills, or donate things you don’t need. Even a small act of kindness can make a big difference in someone’s life.

Helping and Learning

When we help others, we also learn new things. We learn about people’s lives and their problems. This helps us become more understanding and compassionate. It also helps us grow as individuals.

Helping others is not just about doing good. It’s about being a better person, learning new things, and making the world a better place. So, let’s help others whenever we can.

250 Words Essay on Helping Someone

The joy of helping someone.

Helping someone is a noble act. It brings joy not only to the person who gets help but also to the one who offers it. It’s a way of showing kindness and love to others. It can be as simple as lending a pencil to a friend who forgot theirs or as big as helping an old person cross the street.

Helping in Everyday Life

Helping others is part of our everyday life. At school, we can help our classmates understand a hard topic. At home, we can help our parents by doing small tasks like cleaning our room or washing dishes. We can help our friends by listening to them when they are sad. All these acts of help make us better people.

Helping Builds Relationships

When we help someone, we build strong relationships with them. People remember those who help them in their time of need. They feel grateful and are likely to help us back when we need it. It’s like a circle of kindness that keeps going.

Helping Makes Us Happy

Helping others also makes us feel good about ourselves. It gives us a sense of purpose and satisfaction. When we see the smile on the faces of those we help, it makes us happy too. It’s a feeling that money can’t buy.

In conclusion, helping someone is a beautiful act of kindness. It brings joy, builds relationships, and makes us happy. So, let’s always be ready to lend a helping hand to those in need. Remember, even the smallest act of kindness can make a big difference in someone’s life.

500 Words Essay on Helping Someone

Understanding the act of helping.

Helping someone is a simple act that shows kindness and empathy. It means giving your time, energy, or resources to assist another person who is in need. It could be as simple as helping a friend with homework or as big as donating clothes to people who don’t have enough. Helping is a way of showing that you care about others and their well-being.

The Importance of Helping Others

Helping others is important for many reasons. Firstly, it makes the person you’re helping feel good. When someone is in a tough spot and you lend a hand, it can make their day a little brighter. It can give them hope and show them that they are not alone.

Secondly, helping others can also make you feel good. It can give you a sense of purpose and make you feel happy. Studies have shown that people who help others often feel happier and more satisfied with their lives.

Ways to Help Others

There are many ways to help others. You don’t need to have a lot of money or resources to help. Sometimes, the simplest acts can make the biggest difference.

One way to help is by listening. If a friend is having a hard time, simply being there to listen can be a huge help. You don’t always need to offer advice or solutions. Sometimes, people just need someone to hear them out.

Another way to help is by doing small acts of kindness. This could be helping an elderly neighbor with their groceries, picking up litter in your local park, or making a card for a sick friend. Small acts of kindness can have a big impact.

The Impact of Helping Others

Helping others can have a big impact on the world around you. It can create a ripple effect. When you help someone, it often inspires them to help someone else. This can lead to more and more people helping each other, creating a kinder and more caring community.

Helping others can also help to build stronger relationships. When you help someone, it shows them that you care. This can strengthen your relationship with that person and build trust.

In conclusion, helping others is a powerful act of kindness. It can make a big difference in someone’s life and can also make you feel good. There are many ways to help others, from listening to doing small acts of kindness. Helping others can create a ripple effect of kindness in your community and help to build stronger relationships. So, the next time you see someone in need, don’t hesitate to lend a hand. You never know what a big difference it could make.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

• Essay on Helping Parents
• Essay on Heredity
• Essay on Heritage Conservation

Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

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Essays About Friendships: Top 6 Examples and 8 Prompts

Friendships are one of life’s greatest gifts. To write a friendship essay, make this guide your best friend with its essays about friendships plus prompts.

Every lasting relationship starts with a profound friendship. The foundations that keep meaningful friendships intact are mutual respect, love, laughter, and great conversations. Our most important friendships can support us in our most trying times. They can also influence our life for the better or, the worse, depending on the kind of friends we choose to keep. 

As such, at an early age, we are encouraged to choose friends who can promote a healthy, happy and productive life. However, preserving our treasured friendships is a lifelong process that requires investments in time and effort.

6 Informative Essay Examples

1. the limits of friendships by maria konnikova, 2. friendship by ralph waldo emerson, 3. don’t confuse friendships and business relationships by jerry acuff, 4. a 40-year friendship forged by the challenges of busing by thomas maffai, 5. how people with autism forge friendships by lydia denworth, 6.  friendships are facing new challenges thanks to the crazy cost of living by habiba katsha , 1. the importance of friendship in early childhood development, 2. what makes a healthy friendship, 3. friendships that turn into romance, 4. long-distance friendship with social media, 5. dealing with a toxic friendship, 6. friendship in the workplace, 7. greatest friendships in literature, 8. friendships according to aristotle .

…”[W]ithout investing the face-to-face time, we lack deeper connections to them, and the time we invest in superficial relationships comes at the expense of more profound ones.”

Social media is challenging the Dunbar number, proving that our number of casual friends runs to an average of 150. But as we expand our social base through social media, experts raise concerns about its effect on our social skills, which effectively develop through physical interaction.

“Friendship requires that rare mean betwixt likeness and unlikeness, that piques each with the presence of power and of consent in the other party.”

The influential American essayist Emerson unravels the mysteries behind the divine affinity that binds a friendship while laying down the rules and requirements needed to preserve the fellowship. To Emerson, friendship should allow a certain balance between agreement and disagreement. You might also be interested in these articles about best friends .

“Being friendly in business is necessary but friendships in business aren’t. That’s an important concept. We can have a valuable business relationship without friendship. Unfortunately, many mistakenly believe that the first step to building a business relationship is to develop a friendship.”

This essay differentiates friends from business partners. Using an anecdote, the essay warns against investing too much emotion and time in building friendships with business partners or customers, as such an approach may be futile in increasing sales.

“As racial tensions mounted around them, Drummer and Linehan developed a close connection—one that bridged their own racial differences and has endured more than four decades of evolving racial dynamics within Boston’s schools. Their friendship als­o served as a public symbol of racial solidarity at a time when their students desperately needed one.”

At a time when racial discrimination is at its highest, the author highlights a friendship they built and strengthened at the height of tensions during racial desegregation. This friendship proves that powerful interracial friendships can still be forged and separate from the politics of race.

“…15-year-old Massina Commesso worries a lot about friendship and feeling included. For much of her childhood, Massina had a neurotypical best friend… But as they entered high school, the other friend pulled away, apparently out of embarrassment over some of Massina’s behavior.”

Research debunks the myth that people with autism naturally detest interaction — evidence suggests the opposite. Now, research is shedding more light on the unique social skills of people with autism, enabling society to find ways to help them find true friendships. 

“The cost of living crisis is affecting nearly everyone, with petrol, food and electricity prices all rising. So understandably, it’s having an impact on our friendships too.”

People are now more reluctant to dine out with friends due to the rapidly rising living costs. Friendships are being tested as friends need to adjust to these new financial realities and be more creative in cultivating friendships through lower-cost get-togethers.

8 Topic Prompts on Essays About Friendships

More than giving a sense of belonging, friendships help children learn to share and resolve conflicts. First, find existing research linking the capability to make and keep friends to one’s social, intellectual, and emotional development. 

Then, write down what schools and households can do to reinforce children’s people skills. Here, you can also tackle how they can help children with learning, communication, or behavioral difficulties build friendships, given how their conditions interfere with their capabilities and interactions. 

As with plants, healthy friendships thrive on fertile soil. In this essay, list the qualities that make “fertile soil” and explain how these can grow the seeds of healthy friendships. Some examples include mutual respect and the setting of boundaries. 

Then, write down how you should water and tend to your dearest friendships to ensure that it thrives in your garden of life. You can also discuss your healthy friendships and detail how these have unlocked the best version of yourself. 

Marrying your best friend is a romance story that makes everyone fall in love. However, opening up about your feelings for your best friend is risky. For this prompt, collate stories of people who boldly made the first step in taking their friendship to a new level.

Hold interviews to gather data and ask them the biggest lesson they learned and what they can share to help others struggling with their emotions for their best friend. Also, don’t forget to cite relevant data, such as this study that shows several romantic relationships started as friendships. 

It’s challenging to sustain a long-distance friendship. But many believe that social media has narrowed that distance through an online connection. In your essay, explain the benefits social media has offered in reinforcing long-distance friendships. 

Determine if these virtual connections suffice to keep the depth of friendships. Make sure to use studies to support your argument. You can also cite studies with contrasting findings to give readers a holistic view of the situation.

It could be heartbreaking to feel that your friend is gradually becoming a foe. In this essay, help your readers through this complicated situation with their frenemies by pointing out red flags that signal the need to sever ties with a friend. Help them assess when they should try saving the friendship and when they should walk away. Add a trivial touch to your essay by briefly explaining the origins of the term “frenemies” and what events reinforced its use. 

We all know that there is inevitable competition in the workplace. Added to this are the tensions between managers and employees. So can genuine friendships thrive in a workplace? To answer this, turn to the wealth of experience and insights of long-time managers and human resource experts. 

First, describe the benefits of fostering friendships in the workplace, such as a deeper connection in working toward shared goals, as well as the impediments, such as inherent competition among colleagues. Then, dig for case studies that prove or disprove the relevance and possibility of having real friends at work.

Whether it be the destructive duo like Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, or the hardworking pair of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson, focus on a literary friendship that you believe is the ultimate model of friendship goals. 

Narrate how the characters met and the progression of their interactions toward becoming a friendship. Then, describe the nature of the friendship and what factors keep it together. 

In Book VIII of his Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle writes about three kinds of friendships: pleasure, utility, and virtue. Dive deeper into the Greek philosopher’s mind and attempt to differentiate his three types of friendships. 

Point out ideas he articulated most accurately about friendship and parts you disagree with. For one, Aristotle refutes the concept that friendships are necessarily built on likeness alone, hence his classification of friendships. Do you share his sentiments? 

Read our Grammarly review before you submit your essay to make sure it is error-free! Tip: If writing an essay sounds like a lot of work, simplify it. Write a simple 5 paragraph essay instead.

Yna Lim is a communications specialist currently focused on policy advocacy. In her eight years of writing, she has been exposed to a variety of topics, including cryptocurrency, web hosting, agriculture, marketing, intellectual property, data privacy and international trade. A former journalist in one of the top business papers in the Philippines, Yna is currently pursuing her master's degree in economics and business.

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The Importance of Friendship

Friendships are a crucial part of living a fulfilling life..

Posted July 26, 2021 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

• Friendship makes life more enjoyable and enriches one's everyday experiences.
• Finding friends can be challenging but can be often achieved by approaching others with mutual interests.
• The first criteria one should look for in a partner is someone who is ultimately a good friend to them.

As we move through life, we find that there are many things out of our control. We can’t choose our parents, our genetics , or control the things that happen in the world around us. One thing that we can control is who our friends are, and this decision can either make our lives so much richer and beautiful, or more stressful and disappointing. Today we’ll focus on how to choose friends who enrich our lives and make them more beautiful.

Why friends are so important

Having solid friendships is important for two main reasons. First, they make life more enjoyable. We get to share the beautiful aspects of life with people who we love, which can enrich our everyday experiences. Second, our friends help us through the difficult times. Having friends to support us through hard times can make unimaginably difficult situations seem more tolerable.

The most beautiful part about pouring our time and energy into friendships is that not only do friends help enrich our lives, but we enrich theirs too! Friendships get us through the tough times in life, make things more fun and enjoyable, and all-around make our lives better. I urge you to take stock of your friendships and ask yourself if your current friends people build you up and support you, or is the friendship more one-sided?

As we explore friendships today, these are also inclusive of our partners. I believe that the foundation for any healthy relationship is friendship. So it’s important to group our romantic partners into this conversation too.

So, where do we find friends? This might sound silly, but finding friends can be challenging! When I first moved to California for my Ph.D., I didn’t have any friends out here. There were quite a few people in my program that I enjoyed spending time with. But, towards the end of school, they became very busy and were no longer able to dedicate time to hang out anymore. Thankfully, through the help of a very good therapist, I learned that it was important to enjoy life instead of striving for excellence all of the time. As a result, I learned how important it was to carve out time in my life for friends.

Unfortunately, the people I had dedicated time to thus far were achievement-oriented and were pouring their time into work and not our friendships. This forced me to seek out other ways to form connections with people. I ended up finding a local hiking group with the hopes of meeting people with similar interests. During one of these hikes, I met Jim, one of my best friends to this day.

We became instant friends. We have continued to support each other over the years, and even more importantly, we always make time for one another. We both view the friendship as one that makes each other’s lives better, therefore it’s always worth the time and energy. The backbone of any successful friendship is one where both sides put in equal effort and support.

Both Jim and I were forced to put in more effort when he moved across the country to the East Coast. Because we already had such a strong foundation, this didn’t impact our friendship. We talk all of the time and see each other several times a year. We make the relationship a priority no matter what coast each other is on. Like anything in life that is valuable to us, we must work at it and put time and effort into it.

When it's time to move on from a friendship

The second part of the friendship discussion can be a difficult one — reassessing your current friendships and potentially moving on from friends who don’t add value to your life.

Two of my best friends from high school went down different paths from me. We still keep in contact, but I don’t spend too much time with them anymore. The supporting, loving part of our relationship wasn’t there anymore, so it was no longer worth putting energy into maintaining a friendship that had changed so much.

This may be a story you can relate to. What I hope you take away from this post is this — friendships take energy, time, and commitment. And if you’re putting your time and energy into someone who isn’t enriching your life and giving you the support you need, it may be time to reevaluate that friendship.

If you find yourself in the market for friends (who isn’t?) I recommend you find groups or activities that you genuinely enjoy. This way you’ll have the opportunity to connect with people who have similar interests. And once you’re there, take a risk! Talk to people, exchange contact information, and follow up with them. It may feel scary at first, but the reward outweighs the momentary uncomfortable feeling you may have.

Friendship and dating

In many ways, the most important friendship in our lives is the one we have with our romantic partners. The first criteria we should look for in this partner is someone who is ultimately a good friend to us, meaning that they are kind, positive, loving, and supportive. If we’re dating someone and they’re a jerk, it’s probably safe to assume that they’re not a good friend. To avoid this, I recommend seeking out someone who is a good friend first, i.e. before the romance and sexual stuff gets in the way.

When there are bumps in a friendship or a romantic relationship , it’s important to work through those tough times. The tricky part is that it will take two people to fix that issue. We can only control our actions and hold ourselves accountable, but we cannot control our friend or our partner's reaction. In addition to our own actions, we have control over the friends or partners that we choose in the first place. If we prioritize choosing good people who we can trust will work through issues with us, then we can work through anything.

Friendships are a crucial part of living a fulfilling life. It’s so important that we surround ourselves with people who we have fun with, who support us, and people who make us better. You may already have beautiful friendships in your life, but if you’re still in the market for friends, it’s never too late to cultivate new relationships that will make your life even more magnificent.

Robert Puff, Ph.D. , is host and producer of the Happiness Podcast, with over 16 million downloads.

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A friendship essay is precisely what it sounds like: a paper that students write to describe their relationships with their mates.  It is among the many assignments that students are given in their college institutions.  Writing essays about friendship is a great way to analyze what the connection means to you and reflect on some of your encounters. It can also be used as a tool to improve your closeness and affection. This blog post offers tips you may consider while writing your paper and its outline. It features friendship essay examples that help generate ideas that form the primary focus of your paper.  If you are not ready to waste your time on essay writing, StudyCrumb is here to offer affordable prices and professional writers.

What Is a Friendship Essay?

The definition of friendship essay is quite clear and straightforward. A paper about friends can be described as a write-up on a relationship between two or more people. This interpretation makes it easier to obtain the meaning of friendship essay.  Writing such thematic essay will help you communicate your feelings as well as your thoughts. It allows you to recollect your memories about different encounters you have had in life. It will also help you evaluate qualities of your connection.  While writing, you may have a sequence of events starting from your meet-up, activities you have done together, and how you have sustained the connection. Preparing an essay about friendship can evoke memories from your past that may have been long forgotten.

Purpose of an Essay on Friendship

This kind of essay aims to help you explore its nature and form, its pros and cons, and its role in your life. The importance of friendship essay is that it acts as a reflective tool. It helps you realize the significance of creating and maintaining good relationships with friends. It also explains how these connections contribute to your overall wellness. In addition, an article about friendship may teach you to understand that true friendship is priceless and should stand the test of time.

Ideas to Write a Friendship Essay on

Writing essays about friendship is a more manageable task than drafting a paper about a topic that may require more detailed research. Any excellent essay about true friendship starts with an idea that you can examine.  Below are some unique ideas you can explore:

• What is friendship?
• What does friendship mean to me?
• The value of friendship you cherish in your life.
• Cross-cultural friendships.
• The role of friendship in mental health maintenance.

As you reflect on your relationship with your friend, see if you can write a paper incorporating these themes. Remember to choose an idea that interests you and is relevant to your personal experiences or research. Be sure to support your arguments with evidence and examples from real-life situations, literature, or academic research. Look through our definition essay topics or persuasive essay ideas to find a theme that suits your task best.

Friendship Essay Outline

An essay outline about friendship is a summary of what your write-up will contain but in a less detailed format. You use it to organize and structure your content logically and effectively. It presents the main topics and subtopics hierarchically, allowing writers to see the connection between different parts of the material. The importance of an outline lies in its ability to help writers plan, organize, as well as clarify their ideas. This makes the writing of an essay about friends more efficient, and the final product is more coherent and effective. Here is an example of an outline for a friendship essay.

• Briefly introduce the topic of friendship
• Provide a thesis statement that summarizes the main points of the essay
• Topic sentence
• Your main argument
• Real-life examples that support your key idea
• Supporting evidence
• 3rd Body Paragraph
• Examples or recommendations
• Summarize the main points
• Provide some food for thought

Note that this is a general outline. The exact structure and content of your essay will depend on the specific requirements of your assignment and your personal interests.

Structure of a Friendship Essay

The structure of an essay on friendship typically includes the following three parts.

• Introduction An introduction should grab the reader's attention and provide background information. It should also include a clear thesis statement that sets a path and direction of the friendship essays.
• Body The essay's body is where you will provide evidence and details to underpin your thesis statement. It should consist of several paragraphs supporting and developing a statement of purpose. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of your friendliness, such as its importance, benefits, or challenges.
• Conclusion Briefly summarize the essay's main points and reinforce your principal argument. The conclusion should leave a lasting impression on readers and emphasize your topic's significance. Overall, the structure should be clear and well-organized, allowing the audience to follow your argument and understand the topic's significance.

Friendship Essay Introduction

A good introduction about friendship essay should grab the reader's attention and encourage them to continue reading. This can be achieved through a " hook ," a quote, an interesting fact, or a thought-provoking question. Background information can then be provided to give context to the discussed topic.  The introduction to an essay about friendship should also clearly state your main point or argument of the piece, known as thesis statement. This sets pace for the rest of the paper and gives readers a clear view of what to expect. A friendship essay introduction should be concise, engaging, and provide context for the audience to understand the content fully.

Read more: How to Start off an Essay

Friendship Essay Introduction Example

Here is an example of a friendship essay introduction that sets the stage for a reflective and thought-provoking exploration of the most precious gift in life.

Friendship is a special bond that unites two individuals with common interests, experiences, and emotions. It makes life easier and contributes to our happiness. It is a relationship that transcends race, religion, and socio-economic status and has power to sustain and uplift the spirit of humans. In this essay, I will explore its benefits and how it can contribute to a better world. Through personal anecdotes, I will illustrate the bond's depth and role in our day-to-day lives.

Friendship Essay Thesis Statement

The friendship thesis statement aims to provide a summary of the essay's main point. It can be one or two sentences which you develop as you research. The statement of purpose should focus on the central argument and be supported by evidence presented in the body. The thesis statement about friendship should guide the essay's structure. Its main objective is to provide your reader with a roadmap to follow. It should be specific, concise, and accurately reflect the content in your paper. Understanding what constitutes a strong thesis is crucial for writers as it is integral to every essay writing process.

Friendship Thesis Statement Example

The thesis statement must be clear to readers so that they may quickly recognize it and comprehend the paper's significance. It should act as a blueprint of what to expect. A friendship thesis statement sample could be:

In this essay, I will explore friendship's meaning, its importance, benefits, drawbacks, and how it can contribute to a better world. Through a series of personal anecdotes, I will illustrate the bond's depth and its key role in our lives.

Friendship Essay Body

The body part should include five or more paragraphs. Students will use body paragraphs to elaborate on the key factors that make their connection special.

• Definition and explanation. This friendship body paragraph should start with a definition and a brief explanation of its characteristics and qualities.
• Importance of friends. Discuss why it is vital in your life and how it contributes to personal growth and welfare.
• Types of friendships. A paragraph about friendship should discuss different types of friend's relationships that exist.
• Qualities of a good friend. Discuss standards a great confidant should possess.
• Challenges. Discuss the common problems that friends face.
• Ways to strengthen friendship. Provide tips on reinforcing and maintaining good relationships.
• Conclusion. Sum up the key points made in your essay and reiterate the importance of genuine bonds in life.

Friendship Body Paragraph Example

Below is a friendship body paragraph sample.

How to Spend Free Time with Friends • Outdoor Activities. Spending time in nature is a great way to bond with friends. You can meet, then go for a hike, take a walk, or go to a picnic in a park. This allows you to connect and enjoy the beautiful world around you. • Movie Night. Watching a movie is another fun activity you can do with friends. You can share popcorn, grab snacks, and enjoy a movie together. This is a great way to relax and unwind. • Board Games. Playing board games with friends is a fun and interactive way to spend free time. You can play classic games like Monopoly. This is a great way to challenge each other and have a good time.

Friendship Essay Conclusion

Any conclusion on a friendship essay should sum up the main ideas discussed in your essay and restate the thesis statement. It should leave a lasting impression and provide a closure to your topic. To start writing a conclusion about a friendship essay, commence by rephrasing the thesis statement in different words. Summarize the points discussed in your essay by connecting them back to your statement of purpose. End conclusion with a final thought or call to action that leaves a lasting impression on your reader.  It is vital to keep it concise yet impactful. Avoid introducing new information or arguments, as it can confuse readers. Instead, focus on tying up loose ends and emphasizing main ideas discussed in your essay.

Read more: How to Conclude an Essay

Friendship Essay Conclusion Sample

Here is an example of a friendship essay conclusion:

In conclusion, friendship is an essential aspect of our lives that brings joy, support, and companionship. It is a relationship built on mutual trust, understanding, and love. A true friend will always be there for you, no matter what. As humans, we need sincere friends to help us navigate life's ups and downs and provide emotional support. An understanding friend can withstand any obstacle and bring happiness to our lives. The connection is meant to last a lifetime, whether through shared experiences, interests, or simply a common bond. Ultimately, having a close group of loyal friends who truly care for us is one of the greatest gifts we can receive in life.

How to Write an Essay on Friendship?

To write an essay about friendship, start by brainstorming ideas about what friends mean to you and the benefits of such kinds of relationships. Knowing how to write a good essay about friendship involves selecting a great topic and arranging your content in a manner that has logical flow.

1. Come Up With a Topic About Friendship

To brainstorm essay topics on friendship, consider the following.

• Reflect on your own experiences. Think about your own bonds and encounters you have had with allies. Avoid bad occurrences. This can inspire topics to explore in your essay. To find a subject that interests you, you can also look through internet examples of friend essays.
• Ask questions related to friends, such as "What makes a meaningful connection?" or "How does the quality of your bond change over time?"
• Talk to others. Ask friends, family, or classmates about their experiences. They may have interesting insights that can inspire new topics for your essay.

Ensure that topic you select is appropriate for your report style. For example: 

The Day my Best Friend Changed My Life.

You can start this topic by how you met, narrate your story, and then pick out some attributes of a good friend and the advantages of the relationship. Remember to choose a topic on friendship essay that you feel passionate about and can explore in depth in your essay.

2. Do Research

To research and collect information for the friend essay, follow these steps.

• Start with a general search. Use search engines like Google to find articles, books, and other resources on affection.
• Identify keywords. Determine the most relevant keywords for your essay, such as "essay about a friend." Use them in your search to narrow down results to the most pertinent information.
• Evaluate sources. When you have a list of potential sources, evaluate each to determine their credibility and relevance. Look for sources that are written by experts in the field and that have been peer-reviewed or published in reputable journals.
• Take notes. As you read, take notes on the most important and relevant information.

3. Develop a Friendship Essay Outline

An outline is a useful tool for organizing ideas in an essay and it ensures that your essay has a structure. Before outlining you need to have a clear vision of what your essay will focus on. Then analyze every piece of information that you have and categorize it into headings. An outline of an essay about friendships will comprise a list which consists of each paragraph’s topic sentence . By going through the outline, you are able to examine what purpose each paragraph serves. If you need assistance on how to create an outline for a college essay about friendship use the outline example shown below.

4. Write an Essay on Friendship

Writing an essay about friendship is an exciting task. Below is a sample of how you can write your friendship essay. Friendship is the bond between two or more individuals based on mutual trust, support, and understanding. This connection can develop at any stage of life and even last a lifetime. It is a bond that fills our lives with comfort, laughter, and advice during a hard period. Many different factors can contribute to its formation and success. Having similar needs, mutual interests, and social activities can help sustain the relationship. Another crucial aspect is being ready to support each other through happy and difficult times unconditionally. Trust is also an essential component in the longevity of this connection. In conclusion, friendship is an invaluable treasure that brings joy, comfort, and support to our lives. It provides a safe place in a world that can be harsh and unforgiving. It reminds us that we should always stay true to each other.

5. Proofread Your Friendship Essay

When writing a friendship essay, consider the following for an effective introduction.

• Grab your reader's attention. A good introduction makes them want to continue reading your friendship essay.
• Provide context. Give an overview of the friendship essay and its purpose. This will make readers interested in your work.
• Establish your purpose. Clearly state the main idea or thesis.
• Preview the main points. Briefly summarize key points that will be covered.
• Be concise. An introduction should be short and on point, generally no more than one or two paragraphs.

Remember, your introduction will set tone for the rest of your piece and should encourage your readers to continue reading.

Read more: Essay About Happiness : Tips & Examples

Friendship Essay Examples

A sample essay about friendship can be critical to students, especially when they are researching and collecting information. Free friendship essays help you get ideas on how to write and structure your essay. Below are essay examples about friendship that you can go through to help with your writing and draw inspiration from. Friendship essay example 1

Friendship essay example 2

Essay about friendship sample 3

Example of essay on friendship 4

Friendship Essay Writing Tips

Here are some extra tips you need to know that will motivate you to write a friendship short essay.

• You could start with a quote, an anecdote, or a surprising fact.
• Use examples from your own life to illustrate your points in your school college essay about friendship, as this will make your essay more relatable and interesting to read.
• Friendship titles for essays should be clear and straightforward. They should also reflect your main points.
• Describe the aspect of the bond that, in your opinion, is most crucial. It is possible to personalize something that means an entirely different thing to various individuals.

Bottom Line on Friendship Essay Writing

Your central task is to understand what is a friendship essay even before you start writing. Friendship essays explore the nature of our relationships and their various aspects. They can take various forms, from short reflective essays to longer, more analytical pieces. These papers can discuss qualities that make a good friend, the benefits of your relationship, or challenges of maintaining close relationships. Examples of short essays about friendship could be a personal reflection, exploring the unique bond between the writer and their friend and what they hope to continue gaining from each other when they cross paths in future. If you struggle with other papers, feel free to check out our writing guides. From an essay about bullying to a world peace essay , we’ve got you covered.

FAQ About Friendship Essay

1. may i use friendship quotes for the essay.

Yes, it is always a winning step. You can write an essay on friendship with quotes either as the title of your essay or as an introductory phrase. You can also include it in the body of your work while narrating your story.

2. How to write a hook for an essay of friendship?

An essay should hook your reader's attention and make them want to read your story. When writing essays about friendship, you can describe a unique situation in which your friends helped you. You can also end your introduction with a catchy quote, such as Squad goals! Some other quotes that you can use include:

• A road to a friend's house is never long.
• Count your age with friends and years.
• True friend is seen through the heart, not through the eyes.

3. Explain the importance of friendship essay.

The importance of friendship essay is that it teaches students to express their thoughts and feelings about confidants and benefits they obtain from this connection. It also acts as a reflective tool. Friend essays also help students realize advantages of creating and maintaining good relationships with friends and how these linkages contribute to your overall wellness and welfare.

Daniel Howard is an Essay Writing guru. He helps students create essays that will strike a chord with the readers.

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Friendship Essay: Writing Guide & Topics on Friendship [New]

Assigned with an essay about friendship? Congrats! It’s one of the best tasks you could get. Digging through your memories and finding strong arguments for this paper can be an enjoyable experience.

Our specialists will write a custom essay specially for you!

I bet you will cope with this task effortlessly as we can help you with the assignment. Just use the essay topics on friendship and tips described below.

• 🖊️ Writing Guide
• 💡 50 Essay Topics
• 💬 10 Witty Quotes

1. 🖊️ Friendship Essay: Writing Guide

If you’ve been given to write an essay about friendship, then you have accepted one of the best tasks. It can be challenging as it requires recollecting the memories associated with the friend. Also, it requires following a particular guideline.

• Choose a topic

To start writing an essay on friendship, you need to choose a good topic. There are several things you need to keep in mind:

• When writing an essay about friendship, make sure the topic you choose corresponds to the type of the paper (e.g., opinion or narrative essay );
• The topic you choose needs to be enough to develop it in the essay. If your idea is too broad, you will not describe it sufficiently. If it’s too narrow, you will not have enough information to write about.
• Find evidence

Research your topic. Use the available sources for searching for information, such as books, dictionaries, and internet sources. Find enough data to support your argument. Also, think about life experiences that can be used under this topic. An essay on friendship usually requires using personal examples as evidence.

• Outline your essay

Think about the information you will include in different parts of the essay. Usually, such papers consist of an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

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Introduction : A paragraph that includes any necessary background information and a thesis statement .

Body Paragraphs : Generally, essays include three separate body paragraphs. They present arguments and additional support individually.

Conclusion : The last paragraph that summarizes major points and restates the thesis statement.

• Write and proofread

As you have your topic and outline ready, start writing your friendship essay. When you finish, carefully proofread. Double-check your spelling, the accuracy of the information, and grammar. Make sure to format your essay according to the guidelines.

Ask someone to help you revise the text: a person might notice mistakes you didn’t see. Another great way to revise your paper is by checking friendship essay examples to get inspired and see what you can improve in your writing.

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2. ⛔ Essay on Friendship: 5 No-Nos

Writing an essay about friendship can seem less challenging than composing a paper on some uncommon topic. Yet, there are still mistakes that a student can make.

Check the following five taboos that you should avoid:

• Avoid complaining. Some students use this task as their chance to complain about someone having betrayed them. Bad things happen. Move on and find better ideas to include in your friendship essay.
• Avoid flattering. Another extreme to be avoided is singing the praises to someone. Even if you badly want to include something like ‘I was blessed to meet Tom who was my best friend ever,’ try to refrain from writing just that and add more exciting details instead to create some context and let your readers know exactly why and how was Tom such a great friend to you.
• Don’t add too much drama. Focusing on how you can’t imagine your life without your friends from school you left is a bad idea.
• Don’t be too negative. Sure, you are free to defend any position in this paper. Yet, teachers would like it better if your essay is optimistic (and you might be happier writing it too).
• Don’t forget to include examples. Examples from your personal life and books will make your paper more sincere and persuasive.

3. 💡 50 Essay Topics on Friendship

Any excellent essay starts with an idea that you can explore in detail. We’ve prepared 50 writing prompts and topics to help you pick the perfect theme for your paper:

• Three kinds of friendships, according to Aristotle . The philosopher pointed out that there are three different types of friendship: the friendship of utility, the friendship of pleasure, and virtuous friendship. Which one resonates with you? Why? 
• Qualities of a true friend . People like seeing such character traits as loyalty, trustworthiness, and honesty in a best friend. But do all good friends have these qualities? Think of what makes a good friend. Describe the characteristics you like seeing in a person. 
• Is friendship relatable to love and vice versa? It’s suggested that any bond can develop into a romantic relationship . But, can romantic relationships transform into friendship? Write your opinion on the topic. 
• The similarity of interests vs. compatibility of temperaments . Both are equally important in any relationship, and you can discuss this. Do you think that any of the factors play a more influential role in friendship? Why? 
• A friend to everyone is a friend to no one. How do you understand that phrase? Can such people be true friends? 
• The power of friendship. Having a genuine friendship is believed to reduce stress and anxiety and improve our self-esteem . Are there any other possible effects of this attachment? Describe them. Mention the effects of friendship on your life. 
• Should you mix business and friendship? Working with your friends can be a pleasure or a liability. Do you think working with friends can positively influence your career? Why or why not? Or, maybe you believe that friends at a workplace can create a toxic situation?  
• Can you find good friends online ? Sometimes you may want to expand your social circle. One way to do so is to find a friend online. Share your opinion on whether it is possible to form true friendship online. 
• The need to have a friend. Having friends is an essential part of our lives. They motivate us to change and lift our spirits. What are other reasons to have a friend? Provide a personal example, if possible. 
• The most significant aspects of a friendship. Some people appreciate confidentiality or respect the most in a company. Name and describe the elements you appreciate in friendship. 
• An unexpected friendship. We all know that one person we didn’t like from the start but later became best friends. How did you meet them? What was your first impression ? Are you still best friends? 
• Friendship is a treasure. Do you think every person needs a true friend? Can friends be compared to treasures? Are real friends as hard to find as gold? 
• My best friend . Describe your best friend and their qualities. Reflect on your relationship. What impact did this friendship leave on your life? 
• Friendship with your parents. Some people suggest that being friends with their parents is wonderful. Others think it is nearly impossible. What’s your opinion on such a relationship with parents ? Are you friends with them? 
• The psychological effect of a bad friendship. Friendship and social support are linked to the mental and physical well-being of people. But what about toxic friendship? What are its effects on a human’s health? Have you ever encountered it? How did you deal with it? 
• Friendship in the age of social media . 
• Explain the destructive effect of jealousy on friendships and romantic relationships.  
• The importance of freedom in a relationship between friends.  
• Three main views on the term “friend.”  
• Friendship concept in different cultures . 
• How friendly relationships improve employees’ performance.  
• Describe the positive impact of computer communication on people’s relationships. 
• Can friendship be destroyed by the lack of communication ?  
• Why is friendship important?   
• Explain how you understand the statement that friendship is a two-way process .  
• Is friendship between students necessary for a positive classroom atmosphere?  
• Discuss if children’s friendship is a necessary part of their healthy development.  
• Resolving issues in friendship through interpersonal communication . 
• Why any form of abuse can destroy friendly relationships.  
• Explore the theme of friendship in Recitatif by Toni Morrison .  
• Describe the concepts of friendship according to St. Augustine . 
• Is generosity important for a strong friendship?  
• Discuss the importance of friendly and loving relationships for a person’s mental health.  
• Compare Boethius and Dante’s ideas of friendship . 
• Which type of friendship do you value the most?  
• Examine the friendship of Gilgamesh and Enkidu in the ancient Mesopotamian poem, The Epic of Gilgamesh . 
• How is the idea of friendship described in literary works?  
• The role of childhood friendship in your life.  
• Describe how your notion of friendship changed in a lifespan.  
• Discuss the ways social media platforms put additional pressure on teens’ friendship. 
• Analyze the descriptions of friendship in poetry.  
• What aspects do you consider when accepting a friend in Facebook ? 
• Is social media to blame for the absence of close friends?  
• Explain why you like or dislike the idea of traveling with friends .  
• Describe the ways you communicate with your friends .  
• Can money cause issues in relationships between friends?  
• The importance of friendship in Sherman Alexie’s The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian . 
• Discuss the importance of behavior in relationships with friends and loved ones.  
• Give advice how to keep healthy relationships with your friends.  
• Describe problems that can ruin your relationships with friends and the ways to avoid them.  

We hope that you won’t find the task troubling with our friendship essay topics and tips.

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4. 💬 Essay on Friendship: 10 Witty Quotes

• “A friend in need is a friend indeed.”(Proverb)
• “A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.” (Elbert Hubbard)
• “I don’t need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.” (Plutarch)
• “The only way to have a friend is to be one.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
• “It is more shameful to distrust our friends than to be deceived by them.” (Confucius)
• “It is not so much our friends’ help that helps us, as the confidence of their help.” (Epicurus )
• “Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.” (Benjamin Franklin)
• “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” ( C.S. Lewis)
• “You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” (A.A. Milne)
• “Anybody can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend’s success.” ( Oscar Wilde)

Now, with these tips and ideas, you won’t have any difficulties with your friendship essays. Don’t hesitate to drop us a line in the section below if you have any questions or suggestions.

Learn more on this topic:

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• How to Do Research for an Excellent Essay, the Complete Guide: Oxford Royale Academy
• Proofreading Your Paper, Organizing Your Social Sciences Research Paper: Research Guides at University of Southern California
• 45 Cute Best Friend Quotes, Short Quotes About True Friends: Madison Alcedo, Country Living
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Friendship and Friend’s Support Essay

Friendship is one of the most necessary and valuable things in life. After all, no person in the world can live a whole life alone. All people need communication, both for personal and spiritual growth. Without friendship, people begin to feel lonely and suffer from misunderstanding. Although there are many different people around, real friends are very hard to find and harder to keep.

Friendship is the ability to give mental warmth and provide support. It is the ability to find the right words for a friend, help in a difficult moment, and find a way out together. People around Gene understood it and expected it when his best friend needed support. It is illustrated by Dr. Stanpole’s words: “He needs that from you. He wanted especially to see you. You were the one person he asked for” (Knowles 64). Phineas himself expected support from his best friend: “He needed me. I was the least trustworthy person he had ever met. I knew that; he knew or should know that too” (Knowles, 108). However, it happens that the one you consider your friend fails and betrays in the most challenging moment. There is no desire to have anything in common, and there can be no question of further friendship after this.

Envy and suspicion have devastating consequences, even for the strongest friendship. Envy usually generates anger and resentment, unfounded claims, and objections. From all this, a wall of misunderstanding grows, and former friends are gradually separated from each other. Finney was capable of friendship, but the main character is not: “He had never been jealous of me for a second. Now I knew that never was and never could have been any rivalry between us. I was not of the same quality as the” (Knowles, 59). A wrong choice of a friend had fatal consequences for Phineas.

People have a lot of difficulties during their life path. Real friends should share both the best times and the worst. Moreover, it is necessary not only to have a friend but also to be one. Anything can happen, but a close and tested person around, can calm anybody and make feel better. No bad experiences, adversity, and other difficulties will break a person – because he or she will always have a reliable friend’s support.

Works Cited

Knowles, John. A Separate Peace. Simon and Schuster, 2014.

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Essay on A Good Friend for Students and Children

500+ words essay on a good friend.

A good friend is the only relation which we earn in whole life. To find a good friend who is loving, caring, helpful, honest, loyal, and most important compatible. This is the biggest achievement of us which we get in the form of a true friend. Undoubtedly, we always learn something new and exciting in the company of our good friends from childhood. A pleasurable time spent with friends is a kind of some happiness that can’t be express. Whether you make group study or enjoying someone’s birthday party it is always enjoyable with friends.

What is a Friend?

A good friend is someone difficult to find. A friend is somebody you can always count on when times are a hard time. The dictionary’s definition of a good friend is a person who attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

Friendship means at ease with and liking of each other’s mind. A friend is one who appreciates a person’s skill. A good friend helps or encourages to make the right choices and do not get into any trouble at all.

Importance of Good Friend

Since childhood, friendship helps in making us understand and grow the habit of sharing and caring. Small kids develop friendship quicker and enjoy the company of their friends. They play and learn together. Friends are essential for their proper growth and development.

What makes a Good Friend?

Good friends are always caring, loving, loyal, passionate, a little bit critic of you. These qualities make a friend as a good friend. So, the person who talks behind your back and laughs at you can never be your good and true friend.

Friendship is the relation where friends listen to each other’s problems. Thus we can say that this bond is about good listeners. Definitely, to have a true friend is always like finding a real pearl.

Is Friendship Matters with Status?

Friendship has never bounded by people’s financial status. A king can be a true friend of a poor beggar and poor labor can be a good friend of a rich industrialist. As we all know that Lord Krishna was in unconditional true lovable friendship with poor Sudama. Friendship of Krishna and Sudama is a milestone for all of us. They were like soul mates. Also, their friendship was on that level where if one gets hurt other feels the pain.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Qualities of a Good Friend

True friends come with a variety of qualities which makes them someone special in one’s life. Here we are pointing some qualities of a true friend and its impact on friendship:

• Good listeners- It is necessary for a friend to be a good listener. Therefore, without the ability to listen, your friendship will be shallow.
• Being compassionate- True friends should always be compassionate with each other. They must be able to sympathize regardless of whether or not they agree with the crisis their friends are facing
• Loyalty- True friends should always be loyal to each other. A good friend should never betray you in any way, talk about you behind your back nor do anything else that questions your friendship.
• Trust – Good friends should be trustworthy. One should have friends to whom you can be able to tell all your secrets without any fear of them telling other people about them later.
• Support – Good friends should always be available for support. You should have friends with whom you can be sure for any help and support.
• Reliable – A good friend is one to whom you can rely on for anything.

Life of a human being is full of ups and downs.  So, on each stage of life, everyone needs someone who can understand and support with no expectation. Those special people are called a true friend. Friendship can be between two people of any age, any gender or any background. True Friends have always their special place in anyone’s life. True friendship is always possible only by heart and not by mind.

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The Importance Of Supportive Friendships

The friendships we develop in our lives help shape us as people.

A plethora of research has confirmed the importance of friendships when it comes to our ability to foster success, mental and physical wellness, and resiliency. Despite these benefits, though, we sometimes don’t know the best ways to maintain or strengthen our bonds with our friends. Below, we’re going to discuss the vital role supportive friendships play in our lives and how you can build and sustain strong relationships with your friends. 

What is a supportive friendship?

Casual friendships—relationships that may be rewarding are often less committed—can be enjoyable and are considered by many to be an indispensable facet of our social lives . When those connections deepen, though, they may start to be characterized by mutual respect, admiration, and a willingness to help one another. A supportive friendship is often selfless. It is one in which each person provides the other with care, encouragement, and compassion, especially when they need it most. 

A supportive friend will leave room for your needs. They can help you feel accepted for who you are and assure you that they’ll always be there for you. A close friend can listen to and empathize with your concerns, lift you up, and provide you with motivation. 

What are the characteristics of a supportive friendship?

Supportive friendships are often marked by shared affection, respect, and care. They are typically balanced relationships, in which both individuals give and take equally. One of the most important components of a healthy friendship is mutual understanding. Having a friend who knows you well and appreciates you for who you are can be validating, providing you with a sense of belonging and acceptance. 

Healthy friendships are also typically characterized by loyalty and reliability. Part of nurturing a relationship with a friend is being there for them regardless of what they’re going through while trusting them to be there for you when you need their advice, assistance, or emotional support. 

Additionally, supportive friendships are often marked by vulnerability. Friends who are able to share their fears, anxieties, and weaknesses may feel more comfortable with and connected to one another. Along with vulnerability comes honesty—another cornerstone of a healthy friendship. Good friends often share their feelings with each other, encourage openness, and provide one another with candid insights.

The importance of supportive friendships

Friendships are thought to contribute significantly to our happiness, health, and overall quality of life. Research has found that social support is strongly connected to improved mental health outcomes , helping to decrease stress and depression, improve communication skills, and reduce the emotional effects of physical health challenges. Supportive relationships can help us solve problems and boost our self-confidence. Often, we feel better able to navigate a stressful situation when we have someone to go through it with. In fact, many studies suggest that when friends are simply physically near to us, challenges can feel less daunting . 

Friendships have also been shown to provide physical health benefits. Research suggests that people who have a robust support system live longer and experience fewer health complications. Additionally, the reduced stress that can accompany a supportive friendship can be good for heart health .   

Friendships are considered a key aspect of development for young people, helping children and adolescents form healthy attachments characterized by trust, generosity, and mutual support. An individual’s friends can help them grow and mature during their often-challenging formative years. Mutually supportive friendships can make this time easier and less mentally and emotionally taxing. For example, friendships have been linked to greater academic achievement . Friends can hold each other accountable and motivate one another to succeed as they transition into adulthood. 

For adults who may no longer live with their family, friendships can become a primary source of support. There are proven associations between life satisfaction and the number and quality of friendships an individual maintains. Life as an adult can be complicated, and a friendship characterized by mutual care can make you feel less alone during challenging times. The relationships you have with friends as an adult can shape your life, often helping determine your worldview, interests, and values. For example, you may pursue certain hobbies because your friends are involved in them; or you might develop an optimistic mindset after being around a friend with a positive outlook on life. 

A supportive friend can help you solve problems, potentially providing valuable insights into your life based on their intimate knowledge of you. They may disagree with your choices at times; but they will likely stand by you regardless of the decisions you make. For example, if you’re considering getting back together with an ex, a good friend may have a unique perspective on your former relationship, and they may tell you that you’re making a mistake. But they’ll likely also let you know that they’ll support you no matter what you do.  

While friendships can be beneficial and important, they can also be difficult to maintain at times. Life can become busy, and friends can grow apart, so you may find it harder to feel as close to some friends, and you could lose touch with others completely. Below, we’re going to discuss what you can do when this happens.

How to develop supportive friendships

If you’d like to take advantage of the above benefits of healthy friendships, it can help to know how to identify important relationships, stay connected to friends, and provide valuable emotional support. The following are several steps you can take to cultivate supportive friendships. 

Identify important existing friendships

One of the first things you can do as you work to foster healthy friendships is examine the current relationships you have with friends, acquaintances, and other people in your life. You may have friends you’ve lost touch with or casual acquaintances you’d like to get to know better. Think about the people with whom you’ve connected over the years. Is there anyone with whom you’ve shared your feelings? Who encourages you to be better? Whom do you feel comfortable around? Answering these questions can help you identify relationships that you can strengthen.

Reach out regularly

Keeping in contact with friends can be key to fostering closeness. Even if you’re only reaching out through text occasionally, this can let your friends know that you’re thinking about them and making an effort to continue your relationship. You never know when a friend may be feeling lonely and in need of connection. Researchers in one study found that we often underestimate the positive feelings a check-in can elicit , concluding that such efforts are “likely to be appreciated more than people predict”. 

Providing your undivided attention can be one of the best ways to promote trust and honesty in a friendship. By making yourself available to your friends when they want to talk, you can allow them to process their emotions, address challenges, and seek your advice. Listening can bring you and a friend closer together and provide them with surprising benefits. In addition to signaling to them that their feelings have been understood, listening can motivate your friends. Research even suggests that there is a connection between supportive listening and improved cognitive well-being . 

Show your appreciation

Studies show that expressing gratitude can help deepen bonds with friends. People typically like to know that they are valued and that their presence or actions are appreciated. You can let the friends in your life know how much they mean to you through heartfelt words, small acts of kindness (e.g., sending them flowers), or more significant gestures (e.g., inviting them out to a nice dinner). 

Nurturing healthy friendships with online therapy

The results of an increasingly large number of studies show that online therapy can help individuals build stronger relationships while addressing mental health concerns. In a study titled “Building Closer Friendships in Social Anxiety Disorder”, researchers found that online therapy led to increased comfort with intimacy . The study also notes that participants experienced greater decreases in depression and loneliness corresponding to the amount of time they spent discussing their emotions with friends. 

If you’d like help developing healthy, supportive friendships, online therapy is available for you. With an online therapy platform like  BetterHelp, you can participate in sessions remotely—through video call, voice call, or in-app messaging—which can be helpful if you’re not comfortable meeting in person due to social anxiety or similar concerns. Online therapy is also an affordable option—BetterHelp memberships start at $65 per week (based on factors such as your location, referral source, preferences, therapist availability and any applicable discounts or promotions that might apply)—so you can save money for coffee dates with friends. 

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• Relationships and Relations

How to support a friend or family member who’s struggling with their mental health

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Every one of us has mental health in the same way that every one of us has physical health. Yet despite the prevalence of mental health struggles, there is still so much stigma around them. Worldwide the leading cause of disability is depression, according to the World Health Organization, and in the US alone, nearly 1 in 5 of adults lives with a mental illness.

As a mental health therapist-in-training and the founder of Brown Girl Therapy , the largest mental health community for children of immigrants living in the West, I regularly get asked this question: “How can I support a loved one who is struggling with their mental health?” With the multiple crises we’re currently living through, it can feel like more and more people we know are currently hurting.

Maybe you’ve noticed that a friend’s behavior or demeanor has changed and you’re concerned, or a family member is opening up to you for the first time about their anxiety. I know it’s challenging to know what to say or do. Here are eight things that you can do and eight things you should not do when you’re supporting someone who is struggling with their mental health.

First, the dos: 

DO listen and validate

Be curious about what your friend is struggling with and how it’s impacting them. Instead of asking yes-or-no questions, ask open-ended questions to allow them to share their experience with you — questions like “What’s going on?” or “How long have you been experiencing this?” or “How are you coping?”

When they respond, use validating statements that will help them feel heard and accepted just as they are. Many people who struggle with their mental health may often blame or judge  themselves about what they’re going through; some may feel that their struggles aren’t valid because they’re all “in their head.”

Even if you can’t completely understand or relate to their feelings or experiences, you want to communicate to your loved one that they’re perfectly OK — — this can be as simple as saying “That sounds really difficult”.

Support looks different for everyone, and what you may need when you’re struggling may not be what someone else needs.

DO ask what they need from you

Instead of making assumptions about what would be helpful to your loved one, ask them directly: “How can I support you?” or “What would be helpful to you right now?” Remember: Support looks different for everyone, and what you may need when you’re struggling may not be what someone else needs when they’re having a hard time.

DO offer to help with everyday tasks

A lot of people who struggle with their mental health may find it incredibly difficult to make basic decisions or perform even seemingly small chores. Instead of using the generic phrase “I’m here if you need me,” try to be specific about what you’re offering so your friend won’t have to bear the burden of reaching out or figuring out what they need in the first place.

If you visit them, take a look around and see what they could use assistance with — like doing the dishes, weeding, vacuuming or folding laundry. If you talk to them, offer to take them to a doctor’s appointment or do a grocery or drugstore run for them; you might also consider sending them a gift card for their meals.

DO celebrate their wins, including the small ones 

When a person is struggling with their mental health, every day can be full of challenges. So cheer on their accomplishments and victories. This can help affirm their feelings of agency and efficacy. This could look like thanking them for being so honest and vulnerable with you or  congratulating them for going to work or for taking their dog out for regular walks.

Many people who struggle with their mental health already feel a baseline level of guilt for being a drag on other people’s time, energy and mental space.

DO read up on what they’re struggling with

There’s another important burden you can remove from their plate: Having to teach you about mental illness. Instead, take the time to educate yourself on what they’re going through — for example, learning more about depression, panic attacks or anxiety — so you can understand their lived experience and be aware of severe or risky behaviors or symptoms to look out for.

Today, there are so many places online to find informative, helpful content, from peer-reviewed journals and articles by mental health professionals to posts in digital communities and personal essays by people who share in your loved one’s mental-health challenges.

DO check in with them regularly 

Many people who struggle with their mental health already feel a baseline level of guilt for being a drag on other people’s time, energy and mental space. Consistently check in (a quick text is fine) with them, keep them company when you can, and remind your friend that you love them and you’re on their side.

DO recognize that not all mental health struggles look the same

Not all mental health challenges or mental illnesses look the same. Some people might struggle as the result of a specific event or circumstance, while other people may be living with a chronic mental illness. If the latter is true for your loved one, don’t expect them to “get over” it as they would with a flu or broken bone.

Meet them where they are, reminding them you understand it’s something they are living with. This can take different forms depending on what they need — this could mean understanding when they cancel plans on you because they’re having a particularly tough day or adapting your plans with them to reflect what they’re able to do.

It’s important we remove the stigma from taking care of our mental health and talk about it just like we’d talk about going to a physician for a physical illness.

DO normalize talking about mental health

Don’t wait for them to bring up their struggles, or shy away from being direct with them. It’s important we remove the stigma from taking care of our mental health and talk about it in the same way we’d talk about going to a physician or taking medication for a physical illness. You might even consider opening up and being vulnerable when talking about your own mental health so instead of feeling judged, your loved one feels safe being honest with you.

Now, the don’ts:  

DON’T compare their experience to others

I really want to drive one point home: Everyone experiences their mental health struggles and mental health illnesses differently. In the guise of trying to make a loved one feel better, you may be tempted to tell them “everyone deals with anxiety [or depression etc] sometimes” or bring up an acquaintance who had the same illness but benefited from a specific strategy, treatment or therapy.

Resist this temptation. Even though saying those things can be helpful in terms of normalizing their experience and making them feel less alone, they can also have the unintended effect of pressuring them to get over it or minimize what they’re feeling.

Another thing to avoid — reminding them of what they have or should be grateful for. Toxic positivity and comparison to others can reinforce the narrative that your loved one’s problems aren’t important.

Avoid using stigmatizing words like “crazy” or “cuckoo”, or saying things like “that’s so OCD” or “take a Xanax”

DON’T use stigmatizing language 

Be careful how you talk about mental health around your friend (and in general!). Avoid using stigmatizing words  like “crazy” or “cuckoo”, or using clinical diagnoses or medications flippantly in conversation — like saying “that’s so OCD” when someone is very organized or telling someone to “take a Xanax” when you want them to calm down. Check your own assumptions surrounding mental health issues, professional mental health care and medication so you aren’t causing your loved one unnecessary pain.

DON’T take their behavior personally

People’s mental health struggles are often not linear or predictable. Maybe your friend is less talkative one day, and maybe your sister keeps rescheduling your phone dates. While you may feel hurt or offended by their actions, don’t automatically assume that they are reflections of how your loved one feels about you.

Instead, use their cues as moments to check in on them, ask what you can do to support them, and remind them that you’re here for them when and if they need.

You want to be with your loved one while they’re navigating their own struggles, not steering them or pushing them.

DON’T be confrontational or try to control the situation

When you’re faced with a loved one in pain or distress, it can be really difficult not to get in the metaphorical driver’s seat and forcefully do what you think will relieve their suffering. But in doing this, you’re diminishing their sense of agency. You want to be with your loved one while they’re navigating their own struggles, not steering them or pushing them. So don’t be aggressive about what they should or shouldn’t do, and don’t give them ultimatums.

DON’T get discouraged

You may feel helpless when you’re helping and supporting a loved one who is struggling, and you don’t see them making progress. Just because you feel helpless doesn’t mean you can’t be helpful. Your loved one does not expect you to find them the magic solution or to be perfect; instead, they just need you to be present.

DON’T burn yourself out trying to support your loved one

The better you take care of yourself, the better you can be of support to your loved one. Make sure to keep taking care of yourself, doing the things you love and recharging your own batteries while being there for your loved one. Be clear and direct about your boundaries, and find ways to honor what you need to do in order to be able to show up for them.

People who are struggling with their mental health are not broken, and they do not need to be fixed.

DON’T try to fix them

People who are struggling with their mental health are not broken, and they do not need to be fixed. By jumping in with solutions and advice when they don’t explicitly ask for it, you’re sending them the message that what they’re going through is wrong or bad when in fact you are projecting your own discomfort with what they’re going through. Realize that your impulse to dive into a fix-it mode can actually be a coping mechanism to ease and absolve your own discomfort or anxiety. Which brings me to my next point …

DON’T avoid the feelings that come up for you

When we see our loved ones grappling with something difficult, chronic or hard to comprehend, it can often bring up our own difficult feelings and our own discomfort or anxiety. When this happens, it’s important not to shove that stuff under the rug. Spend time reflecting on what’s coming up for you.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself: Are you anxious because you’re scared of what’s going to happen to your loved one? Are you avoiding them because you feel helpless? Are you carrying around your own biases or stigmas around mental illness? Are you on edge because you’re resentful, burned out or just plain confused?

It’s important to get clarity on what’s coming up for you and why, so you can take care of yourself and still be there for your friend. Don’t be ashamed if you find that you could use some support or professional care. One great US-based resource is the National Alliance on Mental Illness , which hosts free support groups for people who love someone that’s struggling with their mental health.

Watch Sahaj Kaur Kohli’s TED Conversation now:

About the author

Sahaj Kaur Kohli is the founder of Brown Girl Therapy, the first and largest mental health and wellness community of its kind for children of immigrants living in the West, where she works to promote bicultural identity and destigmatize therapy. She is also currently pursuing her master’s in clinical mental health counseling. Kohli's passion lies at the intersection of narrative storytelling and mental health advocacy. A former journalist, she is currently working on a book to be published by Penguin Life. 

• mental health
• mental illness
• relationships
• sahaj kaur kohli
• society and culture

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Best Personal Essay Examples

Helping a friend in trouble.

910 words | 4 page(s)

Living in a society where everyone is concerned about their wellbeing as well as that of the other societal members is always encouraging. As underlined in the common good approach ethical framework, improving the welfare of others by doing things that uplift their lives is vital in ensuring that people impact societies positively. It is always my joy to help others whenever I am in a position to do so, as I would also expect people to lend their hand in case I find myself in trouble. One of the memorable times I helped someone was a year ago at the airport where I had a friend leaving for Texas. Most of the flights had been affected that day due to bad weather, and I bumped into one traveler known as Gabriel, a young man who was trying to convince one of the attendants how the rescheduling of his trip to the next day would see him suffer because he had no money left. I intervened to understand his exact concern and realized that he was a student in the U.S. who had connected a flight from New Haven, and was traveling to Brazil to be with his family during the winter break.

Being a student too, I easily related to his tribulations because it would be costly for him to get a hotel room for the night. Moreover, missing his flight the following morning would cost him his air ticket. As the norm with international students where all the financial support is usually rendered by parents back at home who have other children to fend too, his budget was highly constrained. He narrated to me that the only option he had was to stay in the airport’s waiting bay till the following day as he could not afford the ensuing cost. I empathized with him and tried to make him that such instances are inevitable in one’s life. His flight had been rescheduled to 10 am the following day so I suggested that he accompanies me to my apartment so that he would freshen up, sleep, and wake up early to prepare for the flight. At first, he appeared to suspect my generosity for malice and after some hesitation, he accepted my offer. We saw off my friend together as domestic flights had not been affected.

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We left the airport and went to the apartment where my brother and I welcomed him cordially, and it was evident on his face that he felt at home. My brother prepared a meal for us that we all enjoyed as my new friend was narrating his life at Yale University and how he loved life in America despite the high cost of living. During the time we shared our identities in social networks to enable us to check up on each other often. He told us that he was the first born in a family of five and his parents had sold up property to educate him. As a result, he had to spend any money sent to him sparingly to ensure that he did not burden the parents. The cancellation of his flight was a real headache as he had already arrived at the airport and the money he had was budgeted. He wanted to have some cash to help him buy some perks for his sisters once he touched down in Rio. Additionally, studying in the U.S. is highly regarded in his village and he did not want to be broke as it would attract ridicule. When it was time to sleep, we shared one bed with my brother so that he could sleep comfortably on his own.

I woke up at 5 am in the next day to prepare breakfast and ensure that he had enough time to catch his flight. My brother was supposed to leave the house early for work so he could not drive him to the airport. However, he left some money to help me pay for Gabriel’s cab. After breakfast we both readied ourselves to leave the house, I was supposed to go to school and him to the airport. We bade goodbye and wished him a safe flight as he shed tears and expressed his appreciation, promising to get in touch. After a few hours, he called me and assured that he had boarded the plane and would let me know when he arrived in Rio. Later in the day after I returned home from school, I found a note he had left in the wardrobe saying that he had never met a stranger who was so helpful in his life. He vowed to repay the gratitude one day. Gabriel called after two days, full of ecstasy and requested me to speak with his parents on the phone, and they were pleased by my humble gesture. Our friendship has strengthened and he has hosted me several times during my periodic trips to Connecticut. Moreover, his mother gave him a traditional Brazilian jewelry to bring me as a souvenir to help me remember them in my life. This scenario has remained my favorite as through it I have learned the importance of helping others. If I had not assisted Gabriel, he would not have been able to buy presents for his siblings. Again, he would not have had the confidence needed to make his village mates recognize the significance of studying hard to make it to a foreign land as the U.S.

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Essay on A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed for Students

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Essay on A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed: The popular saying “A friend in need is a friend indeed” goes a long way. It means that someone who helps us when we are in trouble is a true friend. This proverb is based on the idea that a true friend will help us when we need them, even if it is difficult for them to do so.

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Long and Short Essay on A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed in English

A friend is of much importance for everyone especially in the bad times. Actually, we know the truth about a friend in our bad times when we really need them and their help. Good friends always help us and be with us in our all good or bad times however selfish and mean friends be with us only in our good times and they left us in bad times when we really need them.

‘A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed’ is a proverb which students can be assigned by their teachers in the classroom to write the meaning, paragraph, short essay, long essay or their own views on this topic. Now-a-days, essay or paragraph writing is one of the good strategies of enhancing student’s skill of English writing.

It is commonly followed by the teachers in the schools and colleges for same purpose. Following are some best friend paragraphs , on topic A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed short essays and long essays on A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed to help students in completing their task in the classroom. All the ‘A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed’ essay are written very simply. So, you can select any essay on A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed according to your need and requirement:

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed Essay 100 words

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed is a famous proverb which tells us about the true friends in life. True friends are those who really help us in our bad times of the life. They never left us alone, they motivate us and always support whenever we need them. True friends become very special in our life and remain with us. It is true friends who prove this proverb ‘A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed’. Good friends always support in our difficulties; for whom it is not necessary to be from same field, same class or same cast. True friends always listen to you and correct the mistakes you do to bring at right path. True friendship is a most trusted and important relationship among all relationships in the life.

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed Essay 150 words

It is very necessary for us to distinguish between the bad and good friends to get prevented from being cheated and get benefited all through the life respectively. A friend who remain same in all conditions (good or bad) and support heartily, really become the true friend forever. A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed is a most famous old proverb which means that a friend who help us when we need him really become the true friend.

A true friend never see the differences (whether financial racial, cultural or traditional), he/she just become ready to help in any condition. A true friend always gives and never has feeling to take in return. Every one of us needs someone who can help us anytime whenever we need him/her. He/she not only helps us but exchanges good ideas, views and thoughts, sorrows, hopes, joys and other feelings. He/she never cheats and always cares for us. She/He never become arrogant and never changes on getting wealth and power.

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed Essay 200 words

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed is a famous proverb which tells us about the qualities of a true friend. True friends to anyone are God gifted and become precious gifts whole life. They have very special role in the life of their friends. Some cheater friends have decreased the level of faith in friendship however they can never spoil this true relationship. It is more valuable than other relationships in the life. Some people do not make friendship because of the fear of getting cheater friends as they cannot recognize them earlier. Generally, we say friend to all those whom we talk but true friend becomes different and very special.

Getting true friend is a blessing from God and every one of us don’t have such friends. True friendship becomes noble and great but very rare. Having a good friend is a most precious earning and most precious possessions of the life. Without having a true friend our life is dry and dull. True friends give good and safe company to us and make our life happy, interesting and worth living. He/she understands us and our all needs. They appreciate and motivate us in our bad circumstances and try to solve problems by sharing all the joys and misfortunes. Become very good counselor and guide in our life as well as the source of joy, strength and courage. They never left us in darkness even they become rich, prosperous and powerful. Thus, true friends always prove the proverb ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed’.

Also Check: Paragraph on Friendship

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed Essay 250 words

The proverb, ‘A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed’, stands as a standard of the true relationship of friends. The meaning of this proverb is that a person who helps in our need or difficulty is a true friend. From childhood till the end of life, we come across various people with different qualities and behaviour. Some of them become common friends; some good friends and only few or only one becomes a true friend. Over a period of time some get away and some remain close to us who become true ones. Sometimes, we get confused and cannot be sure that whether someone is good or bad and she/she can be a true friend or just fair-weather friends.

Some greedy people develop terms with only influential people for getting benefit however it become their big mistake as this trick can never bless them with true friends. A true friendship can be test in the time of difficulties. Whereas, greedy friend gets disappear in the difficult times. They give many excuses of being at distance from us. A true friend always becomes close to his/her friend even in deep trouble and always concerned about the welfare of him.

True friends always make every effort to help and keep their friends happy all time. We can see many examples of true friendships from ancient time till date such as friendship of Rama and Sugriva, Krishna and Kuchela (Sudama), Duryodhana and Karna, etc. Such friends become life’s greatest blessing and lifetime achievement. This proverb does not only tell the nature of a true friend but also give us way to choose good friends.

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed Essay 300 words

It is considered as the college life becomes the happiest time of the life as we become surrounded by the good friends and enjoy a lot. Good friends live together happily and participate in the activities together. The proverb A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed indicates the quality of a true friend. In the very starting, it is hard to recognize the quality of a friend but not so tough. This proverb tells us that people who are willing to help you in the crisis time are really true ones and one of the blessings of God for you than those who just want to stay in your fun time.

A true friend always gives full support whenever we are in need. We cannot recognize that whether a friend is good or bad but during difficult times they can naturally be recognized. Every one of us generally needs a friend who can help us during bad times and not just for fun. Sometimes the condition really becomes very worst and we do not get any way to be out of that, in that case we need help from others. This is the time when we miss a friend who can give us help and take us out of the difficulty. True friends are really of much importance; whenever we become absent someday in the school, they discuss important topics and helps us with all the notes and materials done in the class.

No one can really help us like a true friend as they share all the highs and lows of the life. Thus, we learn from this proverb that it is only real friend who appears with us in all time; but those who just stay with us in happy times are not good friends. True friends always give good memories and reasons to be in friendship forever.

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed Essay 400 words

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed is a proverb which indicates about the quality of a real friend. Sometimes, the true relationship with a friend is much influential than other relationships. Real friends become lifelong friends. Friends are good or bad can realized during the difficult time of the life. True friends always remain in close whereas cheater left away as they only want to enjoy in happy times. Whenever we get problems, we miss someone special who can take us away from problems and it can be done only by the best friend. It is not necessary that a good friend can be only from outside. A good friend can be one of the family members like mother, father, sister, brother, etc.

Good people don’t like to have crowd in their life; they have only few friends but true and trustworthy. They always maintain a true relationship in friendship and are ready to help anytime. Never judge their friends as they have quality to give not take in order to build a healthy and long lasting friendship. True friends are trustworthy, honest , loyal, empathetic, self confident, supportive, non-judgmental and most importantly a good listener.

If we earn a good friend in life, we earn the most precious thing. We can share to them anything and any secret of the life. Having a good friend is very necessary to all of us in such a hectic life so that we can release the mind pressure of study, job, business, family, etc by talking to them. A true friend may have variety of good qualities however having basic qualities are necessary to be engaged into the good friendship. We should not be hurry in making friendship in order to avoid stranger and cheater friends. We should take proper time in understanding the friends all around us and choose someone special for our friendship who may lead us ahead in life.

May be, you get true friendship very quickly, however, the relationship build over long time become long lasting and valuable. Being in true friendship for long is much harder than finding good friends. Not everyone blessed with true friendship, only few lucky people blessed to have this true relationship. A true friend becomes very polite (sometimes hard when required) and soft-spoken with gentle manners. He/she never show dominance in the relation and never become selfish and mean minded. True friends never get benefits of our innocence and softness. They always protect us to go at wrong path and involved in the wrong habits.

Essay on A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed FAQs

What is the paragraph 'a friend in need is indeed'.

A friend in need is indeed means a true friend is someone who helps when you're in trouble.

What is the 'friend in need' paragraph?

'Friend in need' paragraph describes the idea that a real friend is there when you need help.

How do you make sentences 'a friend in need is a friend indeed'?

To make sentences like 'a friend in need is a friend indeed,' express the importance of friends who support you during tough times.

What is the need of a friend in life essay?

The essay explains why having a friend in life is important, especially when you need support and help.

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CommonApp Essay: Helping a Friend

Helping a student friend.

amaryrose 2 / 16   Nov 18, 2009   #2 I like the third paragraph, even though it does deviate from your point it is not entirely irrelevant. You could highlight how the two of you were NOT friends before the studying, so the main motivation for helping him out was that you sympathized with feeling out of place. That way, the paragraph feels more necessary. "He didn't have to help." This took me a moment to understand this; I think it was just the combination of the pronoun and me not getting what the help was referring to. It may just be me, so this edit is up to you, but maybe you could change it to "He didn't have to say anything." "Once, he loaned me his jacket while I was waiting for the city bus because I was shivering. I knew then that I had a true friend." - I know you want to lend some credence to becoming best buddies, but this sentence doesn't quite do this justice. In real life, I can see this being a nice moment, but on paper the sentence is a little blah. You could jazz it up by describing it more narratively, like "Once, shivering at the bus stop together, Gustav loaned me his jacket" (but make it personal, however it actually happened.) The beginning is nice, except for the fact that when you say 'empty classroom' I think you are alone in the room; I know its like the very next phrase that introduces Gustav but I think it might be helpful to indicate the classroom is empty 'but for two students' or something. It may just be me. And the end is weirdly repetitive with 'helpful' and 'help.' But right now I'm at a loss for what to replace one of them with. It's very sweet. I like it.

OP Pikafu 4 / 15   Nov 19, 2009   #3 Thanks for your suggestions! I do need to describe the extent of our friendship more and correct the things you wrote. Yes, it seems like a paragraph on how I met Gustavo would be helpful to illustrate the "before-after" effect of this essay. I'll integrate that into my second paragraph. Thanks especially for the suggestions about the third paragraph, because I'd been stuck on what to do with it for quite a while now.

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The Case for Marrying an Older Man

A woman’s life is all work and little rest. an age gap relationship can help..

In the summer, in the south of France, my husband and I like to play, rather badly, the lottery. We take long, scorching walks to the village — gratuitous beauty, gratuitous heat — kicking up dust and languid debates over how we’d spend such an influx. I purchase scratch-offs, jackpot tickets, scraping the former with euro coins in restaurants too fine for that. I never cash them in, nor do I check the winning numbers. For I already won something like the lotto, with its gifts and its curses, when he married me.

He is ten years older than I am. I chose him on purpose, not by chance. As far as life decisions go, on balance, I recommend it.

When I was 20 and a junior at Harvard College, a series of great ironies began to mock me. I could study all I wanted, prove myself as exceptional as I liked, and still my fiercest advantage remained so universal it deflated my other plans. My youth. The newness of my face and body. Compellingly effortless; cruelly fleeting. I shared it with the average, idle young woman shrugging down the street. The thought, when it descended on me, jolted my perspective, the way a falling leaf can make you look up: I could diligently craft an ideal existence, over years and years of sleepless nights and industry. Or I could just marry it early.

So naturally I began to lug a heavy suitcase of books each Saturday to the Harvard Business School to work on my Nabokov paper. In one cavernous, well-appointed room sat approximately 50 of the planet’s most suitable bachelors. I had high breasts, most of my eggs, plausible deniability when it came to purity, a flush ponytail, a pep in my step that had yet to run out. Apologies to Progress, but older men still desired those things.

I could not understand why my female classmates did not join me, given their intelligence. Each time I reconsidered the project, it struck me as more reasonable. Why ignore our youth when it amounted to a superpower? Why assume the burdens of womanhood, its too-quick-to-vanish upper hand, but not its brief benefits at least? Perhaps it came easier to avoid the topic wholesale than to accept that women really do have a tragically short window of power, and reason enough to take advantage of that fact while they can. As for me, I liked history, Victorian novels, knew of imminent female pitfalls from all the books I’d read: vampiric boyfriends; labor, at the office and in the hospital, expected simultaneously; a decline in status as we aged, like a looming eclipse. I’d have disliked being called calculating, but I had, like all women, a calculator in my head. I thought it silly to ignore its answers when they pointed to an unfairness for which we really ought to have been preparing.

I was competitive by nature, an English-literature student with all the corresponding major ambitions and minor prospects (Great American novel; email job). A little Bovarist , frantic for new places and ideas; to travel here, to travel there, to be in the room where things happened. I resented the callow boys in my class, who lusted after a particular, socially sanctioned type on campus: thin and sexless, emotionally detached and socially connected, the opposite of me. Restless one Saturday night, I slipped on a red dress and snuck into a graduate-school event, coiling an HDMI cord around my wrist as proof of some technical duty. I danced. I drank for free, until one of the organizers asked me to leave. I called and climbed into an Uber. Then I promptly climbed out of it. For there he was, emerging from the revolving doors. Brown eyes, curved lips, immaculate jacket. I went to him, asked him for a cigarette. A date, days later. A second one, where I discovered he was a person, potentially my favorite kind: funny, clear-eyed, brilliant, on intimate terms with the universe.

I used to love men like men love women — that is, not very well, and with a hunger driven only by my own inadequacies. Not him. In those early days, I spoke fondly of my family, stocked the fridge with his favorite pasta, folded his clothes more neatly than I ever have since. I wrote his mother a thank-you note for hosting me in his native France, something befitting a daughter-in-law. It worked; I meant it. After graduation and my fellowship at Oxford, I stayed in Europe for his career and married him at 23.

Of course I just fell in love. Romances have a setting; I had only intervened to place myself well. Mainly, I spotted the precise trouble of being a woman ahead of time, tried to surf it instead of letting it drown me on principle. I had grown bored of discussions of fair and unfair, equal or unequal , and preferred instead to consider a thing called ease.

The reception of a particular age-gap relationship depends on its obviousness. The greater and more visible the difference in years and status between a man and a woman, the more it strikes others as transactional. Transactional thinking in relationships is both as American as it gets and the least kosher subject in the American romantic lexicon. When a 50-year-old man and a 25-year-old woman walk down the street, the questions form themselves inside of you; they make you feel cynical and obscene: How good of a deal is that? Which party is getting the better one? Would I take it? He is older. Income rises with age, so we assume he has money, at least relative to her; at minimum, more connections and experience. She has supple skin. Energy. Sex. Maybe she gets a Birkin. Maybe he gets a baby long after his prime. The sight of their entwined hands throws a lucid light on the calculations each of us makes, in love, to varying degrees of denial. You could get married in the most romantic place in the world, like I did, and you would still have to sign a contract.

Twenty and 30 is not like 30 and 40; some freshness to my features back then, some clumsiness in my bearing, warped our decade, in the eyes of others, to an uncrossable gulf. Perhaps this explains the anger we felt directed at us at the start of our relationship. People seemed to take us very, very personally. I recall a hellish car ride with a friend of his who began to castigate me in the backseat, in tones so low that only I could hear him. He told me, You wanted a rich boyfriend. You chased and snuck into parties . He spared me the insult of gold digger, but he drew, with other words, the outline for it. Most offended were the single older women, my husband’s classmates. They discussed me in the bathroom at parties when I was in the stall. What does he see in her? What do they talk about? They were concerned about me. They wielded their concern like a bludgeon. They paraphrased without meaning to my favorite line from Nabokov’s Lolita : “You took advantage of my disadvantage,” suspecting me of some weakness he in turn mined. It did not disturb them, so much, to consider that all relationships were trades. The trouble was the trade I’d made struck them as a bad one.

The truth is you can fall in love with someone for all sorts of reasons, tiny transactions, pluses and minuses, whose sum is your affection for each other, your loyalty, your commitment. The way someone picks up your favorite croissant. Their habit of listening hard. What they do for you on your anniversary and your reciprocal gesture, wrapped thoughtfully. The serenity they inspire; your happiness, enlivening it. When someone says they feel unappreciated, what they really mean is you’re in debt to them.

When I think of same-age, same-stage relationships, what I tend to picture is a woman who is doing too much for too little.

I’m 27 now, and most women my age have “partners.” These days, girls become partners quite young. A partner is supposed to be a modern answer to the oppression of marriage, the terrible feeling of someone looming over you, head of a household to which you can only ever be the neck. Necks are vulnerable. The problem with a partner, however, is if you’re equal in all things, you compromise in all things. And men are too skilled at taking .

There is a boy out there who knows how to floss because my friend taught him. Now he kisses college girls with fresh breath. A boy married to my friend who doesn’t know how to pack his own suitcase. She “likes to do it for him.” A million boys who know how to touch a woman, who go to therapy because they were pushed, who learned fidelity, boundaries, decency, manners, to use a top sheet and act humanely beneath it, to call their mothers, match colors, bring flowers to a funeral and inhale, exhale in the face of rage, because some girl, some girl we know, some girl they probably don’t speak to and will never, ever credit, took the time to teach him. All while she was working, raising herself, clawing up the cliff-face of adulthood. Hauling him at her own expense.

I find a post on Reddit where five thousand men try to define “ a woman’s touch .” They describe raised flower beds, blankets, photographs of their loved ones, not hers, sprouting on the mantel overnight. Candles, coasters, side tables. Someone remembering to take lint out of the dryer. To give compliments. I wonder what these women are getting back. I imagine them like Cinderella’s mice, scurrying around, their sole proof of life their contributions to a more central character. On occasion I meet a nice couple, who grew up together. They know each other with a fraternalism tender and alien to me.  But I think of all my friends who failed at this, were failed at this, and I think, No, absolutely not, too risky . Riskier, sometimes, than an age gap.

My younger brother is in his early 20s, handsome, successful, but in many ways: an endearing disaster. By his age, I had long since wisened up. He leaves his clothes in the dryer, takes out a single shirt, steams it for three minutes. His towel on the floor, for someone else to retrieve. His lovely, same-age girlfriend is aching to fix these tendencies, among others. She is capable beyond words. Statistically, they will not end up together. He moved into his first place recently, and she, the girlfriend, supplied him with a long, detailed list of things he needed for his apartment: sheets, towels, hangers, a colander, which made me laugh. She picked out his couch. I will bet you anything she will fix his laundry habits, and if so, they will impress the next girl. If they break up, she will never see that couch again, and he will forget its story. I tell her when I visit because I like her, though I get in trouble for it: You shouldn’t do so much for him, not for someone who is not stuck with you, not for any boy, not even for my wonderful brother.

Too much work had left my husband, by 30, jaded and uninspired. He’d burned out — but I could reenchant things. I danced at restaurants when they played a song I liked. I turned grocery shopping into an adventure, pleased by what I provided. Ambitious, hungry, he needed someone smart enough to sustain his interest, but flexible enough in her habits to build them around his hours. I could. I do: read myself occupied, make myself free, materialize beside him when he calls for me. In exchange, I left a lucrative but deadening spreadsheet job to write full-time, without having to live like a writer. I learned to cook, a little, and decorate, somewhat poorly. Mostly I get to read, to walk central London and Miami and think in delicious circles, to work hard, when necessary, for free, and write stories for far less than minimum wage when I tally all the hours I take to write them.

At 20, I had felt daunted by the project of becoming my ideal self, couldn’t imagine doing it in tandem with someone, two raw lumps of clay trying to mold one another and only sullying things worse. I’d go on dates with boys my age and leave with the impression they were telling me not about themselves but some person who didn’t exist yet and on whom I was meant to bet regardless. My husband struck me instead as so finished, formed. Analyzable for compatibility. He bore the traces of other women who’d improved him, small but crucial basics like use a coaster ; listen, don’t give advice. Young egos mellow into patience and generosity.

My husband isn’t my partner. He’s my mentor, my lover, and, only in certain contexts, my friend. I’ll never forget it, how he showed me around our first place like he was introducing me to myself: This is the wine you’ll drink, where you’ll keep your clothes, we vacation here, this is the other language we’ll speak, you’ll learn it, and I did. Adulthood seemed a series of exhausting obligations. But his logistics ran so smoothly that he simply tacked mine on. I moved into his flat, onto his level, drag and drop, cleaner thrice a week, bills automatic. By opting out of partnership in my 20s, I granted myself a kind of compartmentalized, liberating selfishness none of my friends have managed. I am the work in progress, the party we worry about, a surprising dominance. When I searched for my first job, at 21, we combined our efforts, for my sake. He had wisdom to impart, contacts with whom he arranged coffees; we spent an afternoon, laughing, drawing up earnest lists of my pros and cons (highly sociable; sloppy math). Meanwhile, I took calls from a dear friend who had a boyfriend her age. Both savagely ambitious, hyperclose and entwined in each other’s projects. If each was a start-up , the other was the first hire, an intense dedication I found riveting. Yet every time she called me, I hung up with the distinct feeling that too much was happening at the same time: both learning to please a boss; to forge more adult relationships with their families; to pay bills and taxes and hang prints on the wall. Neither had any advice to give and certainly no stability. I pictured a three-legged race, two people tied together and hobbling toward every milestone.

I don’t fool myself. My marriage has its cons. There are only so many times one can say “thank you” — for splendid scenes, fine dinners — before the phrase starts to grate. I live in an apartment whose rent he pays and that shapes the freedom with which I can ever be angry with him. He doesn’t have to hold it over my head. It just floats there, complicating usual shorthands to explain dissatisfaction like, You aren’t being supportive lately . It’s a Frenchism to say, “Take a decision,” and from time to time I joke: from whom? Occasionally I find myself in some fabulous country at some fabulous party and I think what a long way I have traveled, like a lucky cloud, and it is frightening to think of oneself as vapor.

Mostly I worry that if he ever betrayed me and I had to move on, I would survive, but would find in my humor, preferences, the way I make coffee or the bed nothing that he did not teach, change, mold, recompose, stamp with his initials, the way Renaissance painters hid in their paintings their faces among a crowd. I wonder if when they looked at their paintings, they saw their own faces first. But this is the wrong question, if our aim is happiness. Like the other question on which I’m expected to dwell: Who is in charge, the man who drives or the woman who put him there so she could enjoy herself? I sit in the car, in the painting it would have taken me a corporate job and 20 years to paint alone, and my concern over who has the upper hand becomes as distant as the horizon, the one he and I made so wide for me.

To be a woman is to race against the clock, in several ways, until there is nothing left to be but run ragged.

We try to put it off, but it will hit us at some point: that we live in a world in which our power has a different shape from that of men, a different distribution of advantage, ours a funnel and theirs an expanding cone. A woman at 20 rarely has to earn her welcome; a boy at 20 will be turned away at the door. A woman at 30 may find a younger woman has taken her seat; a man at 30 will have invited her. I think back to the women in the bathroom, my husband’s classmates. What was my relationship if not an inconvertible sign of this unfairness? What was I doing, in marrying older, if not endorsing it? I had taken advantage of their disadvantage. I had preempted my own. After all, principled women are meant to defy unfairness, to show some integrity or denial, not plan around it, like I had. These were driven women, successful, beautiful, capable. I merely possessed the one thing they had already lost. In getting ahead of the problem, had I pushed them down? If I hadn’t, would it really have made any difference?

When we decided we wanted to be equal to men, we got on men’s time. We worked when they worked, retired when they retired, had to squeeze pregnancy, children, menopause somewhere impossibly in the margins. I have a friend, in her late 20s, who wears a mood ring; these days it is often red, flickering in the air like a siren when she explains her predicament to me. She has raised her fair share of same-age boyfriends. She has put her head down, worked laboriously alongside them, too. At last she is beginning to reap the dividends, earning the income to finally enjoy herself. But it is now, exactly at this precipice of freedom and pleasure, that a time problem comes closing in. If she would like to have children before 35, she must begin her next profession, motherhood, rather soon, compromising inevitably her original one. The same-age partner, equally unsettled in his career, will take only the minimum time off, she guesses, or else pay some cost which will come back to bite her. Everything unfailingly does. If she freezes her eggs to buy time, the decision and its logistics will burden her singly — and perhaps it will not work. Overlay the years a woman is supposed to establish herself in her career and her fertility window and it’s a perfect, miserable circle. By midlife women report feeling invisible, undervalued; it is a telling cliché, that after all this, some husbands leave for a younger girl. So when is her time, exactly? For leisure, ease, liberty? There is no brand of feminism which achieved female rest. If women’s problem in the ’50s was a paralyzing malaise, now it is that they are too active, too capable, never permitted a vacation they didn’t plan. It’s not that our efforts to have it all were fated for failure. They simply weren’t imaginative enough.

For me, my relationship, with its age gap, has alleviated this rush , permitted me to massage the clock, shift its hands to my benefit. Very soon, we will decide to have children, and I don’t panic over last gasps of fun, because I took so many big breaths of it early: on the holidays of someone who had worked a decade longer than I had, in beautiful places when I was young and beautiful, a symmetry I recommend. If such a thing as maternal energy exists, mine was never depleted. I spent the last nearly seven years supported more than I support and I am still not as old as my husband was when he met me. When I have a child, I will expect more help from him than I would if he were younger, for what does professional tenure earn you if not the right to set more limits on work demands — or, if not, to secure some child care, at the very least? When I return to work after maternal upheaval, he will aid me, as he’s always had, with his ability to put himself aside, as younger men are rarely able.

Above all, the great gift of my marriage is flexibility. A chance to live my life before I become responsible for someone else’s — a lover’s, or a child’s. A chance to write. A chance at a destiny that doesn’t adhere rigidly to the routines and timelines of men, but lends itself instead to roomy accommodation, to the very fluidity Betty Friedan dreamed of in 1963 in The Feminine Mystique , but we’ve largely forgotten: some career or style of life that “permits year-to-year variation — a full-time paid job in one community, part-time in another, exercise of the professional skill in serious volunteer work or a period of study during pregnancy or early motherhood when a full-time job is not feasible.” Some things are just not feasible in our current structures. Somewhere along the way we stopped admitting that, and all we did was make women feel like personal failures. I dream of new structures, a world in which women have entry-level jobs in their 30s; alternate avenues for promotion; corporate ladders with balconies on which they can stand still, have a smoke, take a break, make a baby, enjoy themselves, before they keep climbing. Perhaps men long for this in their own way. Actually I am sure of that.

Once, when we first fell in love, I put my head in his lap on a long car ride; I remember his hands on my face, the sun, the twisting turns of a mountain road, surprising and not surprising us like our romance, and his voice, telling me that it was his biggest regret that I was so young, he feared he would lose me. Last week, we looked back at old photos and agreed we’d given each other our respective best years. Sometimes real equality is not so obvious, sometimes it takes turns, sometimes it takes almost a decade to reveal itself.

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The Dogs Helping the Covenant Children Find Their Way Back

To heal after a mass shooting, the Covenant School families have turned to therapy, faith, one another — and a lot of dogs.

Monroe Joyce, 10, runs with one of two dachshunds taken in by her family. She is one of several children who now have a dog after surviving the Covenant School shooting. Credit...

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By Emily Cochrane

Photographs by Erin Schaff

Emily Cochrane and Erin Schaff spoke with more than a dozen Covenant School parents, students, staff and their dogs.

• Published March 24, 2024 Updated March 28, 2024

Two of April Manning’s children, Mac and Lilah, had just survived the mass shooting at the Covenant School in Nashville. They needed stability and time to grieve.

Listen to this article with reporter commentary

Open this article in the New York Times Audio app on iOS.

So she did everything she could to keep the family dog, Owen, their sweet but ailing 15-year-old golden retriever, with them for as long as possible. She pushed back his final trip to the vet, keeping him comfortable as he slowly moved around the house.

Getting another dog was the furthest thing from her mind. But a few weeks after the shooting, her children sat her down for an important presentation.

Prepared with a script and a PowerPoint — “Why We Should Get (Another) Dog” — they rattled through research showing the mental health benefits of having one. It could limit their chances of developing PTSD and help them feel safe. Playing together would get them outside and boost their happiness.

Ms. Manning and her husband considered. Maybe a second dog was possible.

First came Chip, a Cavalier King Charles spaniel. Then, after Owen succumbed to old age, came Birdie, a miniature poodle and Bernese Mountain dog mix. And in taking them in, the Mannings were far from alone.

In the year since Tennessee’s worst school shooting, in which three third-graders and three staff members were killed by a former student, more than 40 dogs have been taken in by families at Covenant, a small Christian school of about 120 families.

“I really only expected them to help in a cuddly kind of way, like just to snuggle the kids when they’re upset ,” Ms. Manning said. “But I wasn’t really expecting all the other benefits from them.”

To spend time with the Covenant families is to understand how they have relied on one another, traditional psychological treatments and mental health counseling, and their Christian faith to hold them together.

But it is also to see how often what they needed — a distraction, a protector, a friend who could listen, something untouched by darkness — came from a dog.

An Immediate Response

Dogs greeted the surviving children at Sandy Hook Elementary School as they returned to a refurbished middle school in 2013. A dozen golden retrievers were on hand in Orlando to provide comfort after the deadly attack at a L.G.B.T.Q. nightclub in 2016. The therapy dogs who tended to the surviving students in Parkland, Fla., made the school yearbook .

“Over this period of sort of, 35,000 years, dogs have become incredibly adept at socializing with humans, so they’re sensitive to our emotional state,” said Dr. Nancy Gee, who oversees the Center for Human-Animal Interaction at Virginia Commonwealth University.

Even brief, minute-long interactions with dogs and other animals can reduce cortisol, the body’s stress hormone, research by Dr. Gee and others has shown, providing a possible lifeline for veterans struggling with PTSD and others recovering from trauma.

And on the day of the Covenant shooting, dogs were immediately there to help. Covey, the headmaster’s dog, was at a nearby firehouse, where dozens of staff members and students were evacuated. Squid, a retriever mix, was at the children’s hospital at Vanderbilt University Medical Center, helping to comfort the staff if needed.

When the students who survived were put on a school bus to be reunited with their anguished parents, Sgt. Bo, a police dog, was sitting at their side.

Officer Faye Okert, the dog’s handler with the Metro Nashville Police, handed out a baseball card of dog facts to distract and comfort the children.

“The focus was on him,” said Officer Okert. “You had smiles after what they had been through.”

After families reunited, counselors offered clear advice: To help your child, get a dog. Or borrow a neighbor’s.

That led several parents to connect with Comfort Connections, a nonprofit comfort dog organization. Jeanene Hupy, the group’s founder, had seen firsthand how therapy dogs had helped the Sandy Hook students and started her own organization once she moved to Nashville.

The group, which oversees a menagerie of golden retrievers, a gentle pit bull and a massive English mastiff, began its work by visiting individual homes in the days after the shooting. Then, when students returned to class weeks later, the dogs were once again there.

They were something to look forward to, in the moments when walking through the school doors felt overwhelming. And when there were painful reminders — a water bottle clattering to the floor, an unsettling history lesson on war or the absence of a friend — a child could slip away and cuddle a dog.

As Ms. Hupy put it, something special happens “when you bring in something that loves you more than it loves itself, which is these guys.”

A Reassuring Presence

First it was a joke, then a reality: Everyone was getting a dog.

Fueled by community donations and her own money, Ms. Hupy began connecting several parents and puppies. Even for families who could easily afford a new dog, Ms. Hupy and her trainers dramatically eased the logistical hurdles by finding and training puppies that seemed perfect fits to each family.

The Anderson girls shrieked and cried with joy when they learned they were getting a dog, and have now taught Leo how to flaunt sunglasses and do tricks. The Hobbs children constantly scoop up Lady Diana Spencer, often fashionably dressed in a string of pearls or sweaters.

The dogs are also there in the harder moments, too, like when an ambulance or police car drives by blaring its siren or when the memorial ribbons in their neighborhood remind them of what was lost.

“Sometimes it’s just nice to have a giant soft pillow that doesn’t need to talk to you and just cuddle it,” said Evangeline Anderson, now 11.

And if the dogs chew on a shoe or make a mess on a rug, Ms. Manning said, it is a lesson in how to deal with conflicting emotions.

“We still love them and we’re so glad we have them — both things can be true,” she said. “Just like we can be really nervous about going back to school and still also be excited to do it.”

And maybe, the parents realized, it was not just for the children.

Rachel and Ben Gatlin were driving back from vacation on the day of the shooting. That has meant grappling with the heaviness of survival and knowing that Mr. Gatlin, a history teacher who carried a pistol on his ankle for personal protection, could have run toward the shooter that day.

And while their new dog, Buddy, has adapted to the bossiness of their young children and has developed a penchant for sock consumption, he has also kept the adults’ thoughts focused in the moment. Tending to his needs has served as a reminder of their own.

“When you see it working, you’re in total comfort,” Ms. Gatlin said.

Even the school’s chaplain, Matthew Sullivan, found that the stories of new puppies being shared each day in chapel were “wearing me down in a good way.”

“I kind of wanted to enter into the experience of all these families firsthand,” he said.

Now Hank, a slightly anxious, floppy-eared Scooby-Doo doppelgänger, has been adopted into his home, which had been a little empty without his grown children.

The Alternatives

Not everyone got a dog.

For the McLeans, the solution was two rabbits.

“It’s an incredible distraction to their reality,” Abby McLean said of her children, cupping her hands to mimic cradling a rabbit on her shoulder. “I find myself occasionally doing it as well.”

Another family added Ginny, a tortoise with a possible seven-decade life span, to the mix of animals already in their house.

“For having lost people early in life — there was something that equated to me in that, that there was a longevity to it, to a tortoise,” said Phil Shay, who picked out the tortoise with his 12-year-old daughter, Ever.

Still, the dogs far outnumber the other pets. And every day they can make a little difference.

The first night that George, Jude and Amos Bolton had tried to sleep alone without their parents after the shooting, the slightest grumble from the ice machine or the dryer had been too much. Their mother, Rachel, who had maintained that she liked dogs, just not in her house, soon agreed to take in Hudson, a miniature Goldendoodle puppy with doe-like eyes and wild curls.

“We didn’t realize the dogs could create comfort for people,” Jude, now 10, said, his hands ruffling Hudson’s ears. And when Hudson came home, he added, “he’s just been comforting us ever since.”

It is now easier to sleep through the night, safe with the knowledge that Hudson is there.

“All my friends joke, they’re like, ‘I can’t believe you’re a dog person now,’” Ms. Bolton said. But this dog, she added, “has healed this family.”

Read by Emily Cochrane

Audio produced by Patricia Sulbarán .

Emily Cochrane is a national reporter for The Times covering the American South, based in Nashville. More about Emily Cochrane

Erin Schaff is a photojournalist for The Times, covering stories across the country. More about Erin Schaff

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Be a friend - help a librarian!

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Do you know a librarian that needs a security system but doesn't have funding? You can help by nominating a friend to Win! Nominations are open for a free Sentry Custom library security system package, with entries closing in mid-December.

Text courtesy of Sentry Custom Security.

We are thrilled to extend an invitation for you to nominate a deserving library to receive a complimentary Sentry Custom library security system package. This package is inclusive of the essential components: the system itself, de/reactivator, labels, shipping, and installation.

We encourage you to share with us the reasons why your nominated individual should be considered for this awesome prize. To submit your nomination, kindly visit https://sentrycustom.com/nominate and provide their compelling story.

The selection process will be conducted conscientiously by a committee consisting of retired librarians alongside a Sentry Custom representative. The selected library will be announced on Monday, January 5, 2025, following the closure of entries on Monday, December 15, 2024.

Thanks for being a friend!

Minitex and Sentry have been partners since 2016, and Minitex is now one of the leading distributors of Sentry’s library security products. From full-system installations to Sentry Security accessories, to EM, RF and RFID products, Minitex and Sentry have it all covered - at a discount!

Sentry produces all their products in North America, so they have no issues with back orders from overseas. When you order a product from Sentry, you will get it!

To order, visit the Shop Minitex website or contact Tim Peters .  Email:   [email protected]  Fax:  612-625-3569 Phone:  612-625-9527 or 800-462-5348

Discounted prices on a wide variety of products for libraries

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Boston police looking for suspect in Downtown Crossing armed robbery

Boston police are seeking the public’s help in locating a suspect in connection with an armed robbery of an unsuspecting man’s jewelry in the city’s bustling Downtown Crossing section in January.

The robbery occurred around 3:25 p.m. in the area of Washington and Bromfield streets on Jan. 30, said police in a statement. And the victim allegedly took a blow to the head.

“The victim reports jewelry was stolen from him after the suspect hit him on the head with a blunt instrument,” police said. “The suspect is described as wearing a black knit cap, black neck warmer, black vest, black hood, multi-colored long sleeve shirt, ripped dark colored jeans, and dark shoes.”

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The statement included several surveillance photos of the suspect.

BPD Community Alert: Detectives Assigned To District A-1 Seek The Public’s Assistance in Identifying The Following Individual In Relation To A Robbery In Downtown Crossing https://t.co/2eQjKwj1iz pic.twitter.com/V9aLcwdyDw — Boston Police Dept. (@bostonpolice) April 4, 2024

Anyone with information about the case should call detectives at 617-343-4571. Tipsters can also keep their names out of it.

“Community members wishing to assist this investigation anonymously can do so by calling the CrimeStoppers Tip Line at 1 (800) 494-TIPS or by texting the word ‘TIP’ to CRIME (27463),” the statement said. “The Boston Police Department will stringently guard and protect the identities of all those who wish to help this investigation in an anonymous manner.”

This breaking story will be updated when more information is released.

Travis Andersen can be reached at [email protected] .