A Guide to Wedding Vows: How to Write Your Own

Writing your own wedding vows is one of the best ways to add a romantic and intimate touch to your wedding day. We’ll guide you through the process from start to finish, plus provide templates to help you get started.

By Emily Forrest and Rachel Varina

Groom reading vows during wedding ceremony to bride

Inside this Article:

Traditional vow examples

Catholic wedding vows, eastern orthodox wedding vows, hindu wedding vows, interfaith wedding vows, jewish wedding vows, nondenominational wedding vows, muslim wedding vows, protestant wedding vows, presbyterian wedding vows, methodist wedding vows, baptist wedding vows, lutheran wedding vows, episcopal wedding vows, quaker wedding vows, universalist/unitarian wedding vows, buddhist wedding vows, native american wedding vows, how to write your own wedding vows, wedding vows frequently asked questions.

Trying to decide whether to write your own wedding vows or use a traditional template? What couples read during their marriage ceremony is a deeply personal choice. The good news is that there’s no wrong answer! Writing your own vows or adding unique touches to an existing set is a great way to personalize your ceremony , while traditional vows will always be timeless.

To give you a helping hand, we’ve added traditional and personalized examples of wedding vows from different religions and cultures. And if you’re planning to write your own, we’ve included a step-by-step guide to help from start to finish. Let’s begin!

Traditional wedding vows follow a specific format that varies by religion. Reciting the wedding vows (or their equivalent) symbolizes the moment when the couple commits themselves to each other and forms a married union.

Couples can recite different religious wedding vows in a variety of ways:

  • Spoken as monologue, one at a time.
  • Spoken first by the officiant then repeated back, in phrases, one after the other.
  • Asked as a question by the officiant to each person getting married, with the reply “I do” or “I will.”

In Catholic ceremonies, the priest asks the couple three questions. They answer “yes” or “I will.” They then recite one of the sets of vows below.

  • __and __, have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?
  • Will you honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?
  • Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?
  • I, __, take you, __, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.
  • I, __, take you, __, to be my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life.

These vows are typically only recited in traditional Russian ceremonies, as other branches of the Orthodox church call for silent vows or prayers.

I, __, take you, __, as my wedded wife/husband and I promise you love, honor and respect; to be faithful to you, and not to forsake you until death do us part. So help me God, one in the Holy Trinity and all the Saints.

The closest thing to traditional “vows” in a Hindu wedding ceremony are the Seven Steps (the Saptha Padhi), which the couple take together around a flame to honor the fire god Agni while reciting the following promises:

  • Let us take the first step to provide for our household a nourishing and pure diet, avoiding those foods injurious to healthy living.
  • Let us take the second step to develop physical, mental and spiritual powers.
  • Let us take the third step to increase our wealth by righteous means and proper use.
  • Let us take the fourth step to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love and trust.
  • Let us take the fifth step so that we are blessed with strong, virtuous and heroic children.
  • Let us take the sixth step for self-restraint and longevity.
  • Finally, let us take the seventh step and be true companions and remain lifelong partners by this wedlock.
  • I,___, take you, ___, to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life.
  • I, ____, take you, ____, to be my wife/husband. To love and cherish, from this day forward, and thereto, I pledge you my trust—for as long as we both shall live.
  • ___, I now take you to be my wedded wife/husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy relationship of marriage. I promise to love and comfort you, honor and keep you, and forsaking all others, I will be yours alone as long as we both shall live.

intimate-ceremonies

Jewish wedding ceremonies vary from rabbi to rabbi, and between Orthodox, Reform, and Conservative synagogues. Traditionally there are no spoken vows. The exchange of rings is the moment that symbolizes the couple’s commitment to each other. Two prayers are commonly said during the ring exchange—one more religious and one more contemporary:

  • Haray at mekudeshet lee beh-taba'at zo keh-dat Moshe veh-Yisrael. (English translation: Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel.)
  • Ani leh-dodee veh-dodee lee. (English translation: I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine.)

In addition to the ring exchange, many Jewish ceremonies also include the Seven Blessings (Sheva Berakhot), which the rabbi will recite. Here’s a translation from Hebrew:

  • Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, Ruler of the universe, gladden the beloved companions as You gladdened Your creatures in the garden of Eden. Blessed are You, Adonai, Who gladdens this couple. Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, Ruler of the universe, Who created joy and gladness, loving couples, mirth, glad song, pleasure, delight, love, loving communities, peace, and companionship. Adonai, our God, let there soon be heard ... the voice of the loving couple, the sound of the their jubilance from their canopies and of the youths from their song-filled feasts. Blessed are You Who causes the couple to rejoice, one with the other.
  • We bless God for creating joy and happiness, bride and groom, mirth song, gladness and rejoicing, love and harmony, peace and companionship; and we thank God for letting this bride and groom to rejoice together.
  • I, __, take you, __, to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us.
  • __, I take you as my wife/husband, with your faults and your strengths, as I offer myself to you with my faults and my strengths. I will help you when you need help, and turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life.
  • I, __, choose you __ to be my husband/wife, to respect you in your successes and in your failures, to care for you in sickness and in health, to nurture you, and to grow with you throughout the seasons of life.
  • I, __ give to you, __ my vow of sacred matrimony. I acknowledge our individuality and respect the natural space that will reside comfortably between us. I promise to bridge that space with open communication, silent understanding and heartfelt compassion. I promise to act loving so as to be loving. I promise to love passionately, argue fairly and support you unfailingly. I gladly accept the responsibilities that come with our relationship. I love you and pledge my fidelity all the days of our lives.

Rather than reciting vows, most Muslim couples listen to their officiant (also known as an imam, or cleric) speak about the significances and responsibilities that come with marriage, including their commitment to each other and to Allah. But for those couples who do choose to speak their own vows, they recite something similar to this common passage:

  • Bride: I, __ offer you myself in marriage in accordance with the instructions of the Holy Quran and the Holy Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him. I pledge, in honesty and with sincerity, to be for you an obedient and faithful wife.
  • Groom: I pledge, in honesty and sincerity, to be for you a faithful and helpful husband.

While different denominations within the Protestant church have slight variations in their traditional wedding vows, they are all similar to the following basic example. These vows might be the most familiar to many people.

I, __ , take thee, __ , to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith.

I, __ , take you, __ , to be my wife/husband, and I do promise and covenant, before God and these witnesses, to be your loving and faithful husband/wife in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live.

Will you have this woman/man to be your wife/husband, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor, and keep her/him in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her/him as long as you both shall live?

In the name of God, I, __ , take you, __ , to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

Will you, __ , have __ to be your wife/husband? Will you love her/him, comfort and keep her/him, and forsaking all others remain true to her/him, as long as you both shall live?

I, __ , take thee, to be my wife/husband, and before God and these witnesses I promise to be a faithful and true husband/wife.

wedding-ceremony-songs

I, __ , take you, to be my (wife/husband), and these things I promise you: I will be faithful to you and honest with you; I will respect, trust, help, and care for you; I will share my life with you; I will forgive you as we have been forgiven; and I will try with you better to understand ourselves, the world, and God; through the best and worst of what is to come, and as long as we live.

I take you, __ , to be my wife/husband from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us.

In the name of God, I, __ , take you, __ , to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

__ , wilt thou have this woman/man to be thy wedded wife/husband to live together after God's ordinance in the Holy Estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her/him? Comfort her/him, honor and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others keep thee only unto her/him as long as you both shall live?

In the presence of God and these our friends I take thee, __ , to be my husband/wife, promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband/wife so long as we both shall live.

The Unitarian Universalist Church allows its ministers to have their own control in writing wedding ceremonies, including the vows. Most will be similar to traditional Christian vows; here are some variations.

  • I, __ , take you, __ , to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish always.
  • __ , will you have this woman/man, __ , to be your wedded wife/husband, to live together in marriage, will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor her/him and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, so long as you both shall live?
  • __ and __ , do you pledge to help each other develop and strengthen your hearts and minds, cultivating compassion, enthusiasm, patience, concentration and wisdom as you encounter the inevitable changes, expected and unexpected, welcome and unwelcome in your journey through life together?
  • __ , will you take __ as your wife/husband, will you pledge to share your life openly with her/him, to speak the truth to her/him, in love? Will you promise to honor and tenderly care for her/him, to encourage her/him fulfillment as an individual through all the changes in your lives?

In a Buddhist wedding ceremony, the couple is making a higher pledge to truth, and thus may create their own wedding vows that reflect their pledge to reach this Truth together. After reciting the first prayer together or reading it silently, the couple then replies to the vows in unison when prompted by the wedding officiant.

Buddhist wedding prayer

Today we promise to dedicate ourselves completely to each other with body, mind and speech. In every situation of this life, in wealth or poverty, in health or sickness, in happiness or difficulty, we will work to help each other to develop our hearts and minds, cultivating compassion, generosity, ethics, patience, enthusiasm, concentration and wisdom. As we undergo the various ups and downs of life we will seek to transform them into the path of love, compassion, joy and equanimity. The purpose of our relationship will be to attain enlightenment by perfecting our kindness and compassion towards all beings.

  • ____ and ____, do you pledge to help each other to develop your hearts and minds, cultivating compassion, generosity, ethics, patience, enthusiasm, concentration and wisdom as you age and undergo the various ups and downs of life and to transform them into the path of love, compassion, joy and equanimity?
  • Recognizing that the external conditions in life will not always be smooth and that internally your own minds and emotions will sometimes get stuck in negativity. Do you pledge to see all these circumstances as a challenge to help you grow, to open your hearts, to accept yourselves, and each other; and to generate compassion for others who are suffering? Do you pledge to avoid becoming narrow, closed or opinionated, and to help each other to see various sides of situations?
  • Understanding that just as we are a mystery to ourselves, each other person is also a mystery to us. Do you pledge to seek to understand yourselves, each other, and all living beings, to examine your own minds continually and to regard all the mysteries of life with curiosity and joy?
  • Do you pledge to preserve and enrich your affection for each other, and to share it with all beings? To take the loving feelings you have for one another and your vision of each other's potential and inner beauty as an example and rather than spiraling inwards and becoming self absorbed, to radiate this love outwards to all beings?
  • When it comes time to part, do you pledge to look back at your time together with joy-- joy that you met and shared what you have--and acceptance that we cannot hold on to anything forever?
  • Do you pledge to remember the disadvantages of ignorance, anger and clinging attachment, to apply antidotes when these arise in your minds, and to remember the kindness of all other beings and your connection to them? Do you pledge to work for the welfare of others, with all of your compassion, wisdom and skill?
  • Do you pledge to work to develop the wisdom understanding the relative functioning nature of things and the wisdom knowing their deeper way of existence that they are empty of inherent existence? And to remember the laws of cause and effect?
  • Do you pledge day to day, to be patient with yourselves and others, knowing that change comes slowly and gradually, and to seek inspiration from your teachers not to become discouraged?
  • Do you pledge to continuously strive to remember your own Buddha nature, as well as the Buddha nature of all living beings? To maintain the awareness that all things are temporary, and to remain optimistic that you can achieve your greatest potential and lasting happiness.

Indian Wedding Gold Door

Most traditional Native American weddings do not contain a vow exchange, but the following wedding blessings are read aloud to the couple.

Apache wedding blessing

Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years, May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth. Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulties and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at one time or another, remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives - remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.

Cherokee wedding blessing

God in heaven above please protect the ones we love. We honor all you created as we pledge our hearts and lives together. We honor mother-earth - and ask for our marriage to be abundant and grow stronger through the seasons; We honor fire - and ask that our union be warm and glowing with love in our hearts; We honor wind - and ask we sail through life safe and calm as in our father's arms; We honor water - to clean and soothe our relationship - that it may never thirst for love; With all the forces of the universe you created, we pray for harmony and true happiness as we forever grow young together. Amen.

Shoshone wedding blessing

Fair is the white star of twilight, and the sky clearer at the day's end, but she is fairer, and she is dearer She, my heart's friend. Fair is the white star of twilight, and the moon roving to the sky's end; but she is fairer, better worth loving She, my heart's friend.

Inuit wedding blessing

You are my husband/wife My feet shall run because of you My feet shall dance because of you My heart shall beat because of you My eyes see because of you My mind thinks because of you And I shall love because of you.

Knowing where to start when writing your vows might be the toughest part. When staring at a blank sheet of paper, just getting a few words down can feel like a huge hurdle. You might be putting a lot of pressure on yourself to write the perfect set of sentences, considering your personal wedding vows are a reflection of your marriage and the promises you intend to keep for the rest of your days.

Katelyn, a fellow wedding expert and professional vow and speechwriter , suggests starting by describing your first impression of your fiancé. "This a nice way to begin your vows. Next, how do you want to make your spouse feel? Your answer can help inspire some of your specific promises. And lastly, what makes you most excited for your future? These details are a great way to end your vows.”

If you’re stuck getting started, follow these 11 steps to get your creative and romantic ideas flowing:

1. Start writing early

Do yourself a favor and give yourself plenty of time (this is a point we cannot stress enough). You may have months until your wedding day, but this is a task you don’t want to save for the last minute. By starting early, you’ll give yourself plenty of time to overcome any nervousness or writer’s block, revise your first draft, and practice reading vows aloud before your big day.

2. Establish your tone

Before you start writing, establish what sort of tone you want your wedding vows to have. Your marriage vows should reflect your personality, whether that’s quirky and romantic or more tear-prone and sentimental. Or maybe you’d rather keep your vows light and humorous. It doesn’t matter what style you choose; just make sure the tone for your personal wedding vows makes you happy and excited to share your words with your future spouse on your big day.

3. Seek out inspiration

Love is one of those confounding topics that humans grapple with constantly. How can we describe how love feels? How can we capture it through words? What does it mean to be in love? Thankfully, over the past few centuries, many famous poets, writers, playwrights, and screenwriters have come very, very close to getting to the heart of those questions through beautiful, relatable, and transcendent works of art.

Don’t let these resources go to waste when battling writer’s block or struggling to put your feelings down on paper. If there was ever a time to return to your favorite pieces of literature or beloved films, it’s now. Once you find something that speaks to you, try to mimic that sentiment in your own words or quote it verbatim in your personalized wedding vows.

4. Talk to your partner

Sit down and have a heartfelt talk with your fiancé(e) about your relationship, your feelings for each other, and your marriage goals. Discuss what you want your ceremony to feel like and how you’d like your relationship to be portrayed in front of friends and family. You might remind each other of special or defining moments in your relationship, or even come up with the very words you’ve been struggling to find.

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5. Reflect alone

After your talk with your fiancé(e), find time to be alone and reflect on that conversation. Tackle the big questions, such as how he/she makes you feel, what inspires you about him/her, and how he/she has made a positive impact on your life. This is no easy task (hence why we recommend starting this process early), but once articulated, your responses will give you lots of material for your vows. A little bit of quiet meditation might just reveal the language you’ve been carrying deep in your heart.

6. Take trips down memory lane

Think back on special moments with your spouse-to-be, beyond some of the obvious ones like when you first met or your first kiss. What was the first trip you took together? When did you first make each other laugh so hard you cried? Think of your private jokes, hilarious stories, and even embarrassing moments. Whether or not you choose to mention these memories in your vows, remembering them will absolutely help you define what makes your relationship—and, thus, your vows—unique.

7. Don’t worry about what others think

When you start writing your own vows, it’s easy to wonder (and worry) what others will think about what you have to say. “Will guests think our inside jokes are dumb?” “Will they get bored if we go on too long?” “Will Grandma and Grandpa judge us for foregoing traditional vows?” We know it’s hard not to take your guests into account after addressing and sending all those save the dates, but your ceremony is no one’s but yours and your partner’s. Let your personal vows reflect who you are together and what you want to celebrate about your relationship.

8. Create an outline

Without organization, your personalized wedding vows can easily turn into stream-of-consciousness rambling. Stay on track by crafting a brief outline that will organize your thoughts chronologically or thematically and ensure your vows have a clear beginning and end.

Something as simple as the following will do just fine:

  • Intro: funny anecdote
  • Your thoughts/feelings when you first met your partner
  • Your thoughts/feelings when you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him/her
  • What those feelings mean to you today
  • Where you see your relationship going after your wedding day

9. Keep it short and sweet

When it comes to the perfect wedding vows, often less is more. Don’t feel pressured to write lengthy vows when a few short, from-the-heart thoughts can be just as moving. After you’ve finished writing, it’s a great idea to practice speaking your vows aloud while timing yourself. If you go over two minutes, try cutting them back. We know 120 seconds doesn’t seem like much time, but when it comes to speaking in public, that minute will last a whole lot longer than you expect.

10. Include sincere and meaningful promises

Wedding vows are, in essence, a list of promises that you make to your partner. Whether it’s loving him/her always or guaranteeing that you’ll do the dishes every Monday and Wednesday night, your vows should incorporate every specific promise you swear to uphold, and demonstrate the sacrifices you are willing to make as an equal half of your union.

11. Share them with a loved one

We also recommend sharing a draft of your vows with someone you trust, such as the wedding officiant or someone close to you. This lets them assess the overall tone, approach, and length of both of your vows. After all, you wouldn’t want to share all the same anecdotes as your SO.

12. Think to the future

In addition to making promises, make sure that your vows also include a look to the future of your relationship. Where will you go from “I do?” What do you expect or want your marriage to look like a year from now? Fifteen? Fifty? What will you do to keep your bond strong over the years? Even if the phrase “’til death do us part” doesn’t make the cut, don’t forget to anticipate the joys and challenges of marriage ahead. These important details will both guide the promises we mentioned above and give weight to your wedding vows.

13. Speak from your heart

Above all, your wedding vows are about expressing your true feelings about, and to, the person you’re about to spend the rest of your life with. When it comes right down to it, nothing is more important than saying what you truly feel in a style, length, and tone that defines your and your partner’s relationship.

WEDDING GUESTS AT CEREMONY

Still have questions about wedding vows? Check out our answers to your most-asked questions about wedding vows below.

What are wedding vows?

Wedding vows are promises a couple makes to each other during their wedding ceremony. Spoken aloud from one partner to the other, they describe the love felt between the couple and voice their intentions—in front of a room full of witnesses—for how they plan to think, feel, and act towards each other during their marriage. Vows aren’t legally required for a marriage service, but they’re often included in traditional marriage ceremonies and for religious services.

How long should wedding vows be?

There’s no hard-and-fast rule about how long wedding vows should be, but most traditional vows run anywhere from 15 seconds to 1 minute per person. If you’re writing your own vows, remember that what’s most important is what you say, not how long it takes to say it. Whether it takes 30 seconds or 3 minutes, make sure you keep your vows focused on expressing all that you want to share from your heart.

Should you write your own wedding vows?

Writing your own wedding vows is a personal decision for every couple. You might love the freedom to express yourselves in your own words, or you might be terrified at the idea of having to put your feelings into words on paper (and then share them with everyone you know). Here are some questions you and your partner should ask each other when deciding whether you should write your own vows:

  • Do we feel comfortable sharing our intimate feelings in front of our friends, family, and guests?
  • Do we have the time and dedication to actually sit down and write wedding vows ourselves?
  • Do we feel comfortable departing from the traditional vows of our religion(s)?
  • Will we both take this task seriously as part of our wedding planning?
  • Will we have enough time to draft our vows, edit them, and practice them in the months before our wedding?

For more tips on wedding vow prep and how to create a ceremony that stands the test of time, check out our resources on the history of wedding vows and how long your wedding vows should be .

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How to Write the Perfect Wedding Vows

By Shelby Wax

How to Write Wedding Vows

A wedding ceremony can take many forms. A couple may choose to have music performed as they glide down a flower-lined aisle, or keep things simple at a courthouse. A religious officiant could provide blessings, or a friend might give an original speech about the couple. At the core of every wedding, however, are the vows exchanged and agreed to by saying “I do.” While many choose to follow a traditional script prompted by their officiant (“in sickness and health,” or “til death do us part”), an increasing number of newlyweds prefer to recite an original set of vows—words they’ve written to reflect the unique qualities of their relationship, and their promises for one another as they begin the next phase of life as a married couple.

If you don’t often put pen to paper to share your emotions, writing your original wedding vows might sound like a daunting task. Ahead, we asked two professional vow writers (yes, you can hire someone to help!) to share their tips on how to create your own personal wedding vows that both you and your partner will enjoy reciting—and listening to—on your big day. 

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What to Include in Your Wedding Vows

While vows can run the gamut from a short paragraph to an original song, most follow a basic structure and length. Wedding vow and speech writer Katelyn Peterson advises the following breakdown: “Address your partner and briefly recap your love story, communicate traits that you admire about your partner, describe what you appreciate about your relationship, list three to six specific promises, and close with how you envision your future together.” She suggests that the total time should run from two to five minutes. “Brevity is best so when possible, make your vows on the shorter side,” she adds.

How to Write Wedding Vows

Tips for Writing Your Wedding Vows

Condensing all your memories, love, and hopes for your partner into a few minutes isn’t an easy task, so professional vow writers advise you to take your time with the process. Tanya Pushkine of The Vow Whisperer suggests beginning your brainstorming up to three months before the wedding so you aren’t too overwhelmed with other planning tasks. “A person needs time to be creative,” she says. “If you get into a rut, leave it alone for a few days. Most importantly, give yourself as much time as possible. Rushing vows is never a good idea.”

Begin the process by reflecting on your relationship. “I suggest doing a brain dump o f memories and moments you’ve shared,” she recommends. “Why do you want to marry this person? What incredible experiences have you had together and how do you see your future? Ideally, take the time to sit quietly and reflect, ponder, relive moments, and put that on paper.” Peterson agrees that it’s important to have a proper brainstorm before thinking about structure. “When you’re not focused on the format or how your vows will sound, you can come up with ideas more freely,” she explains. “Then you’ll have material that you can edit and polish into vows you love.”

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How to Write Wedding Vows

Don’t forget that your inspiration should truly come from the heart. “Remember, you are the storyteller,” says Pushkine. “Writing your own vows not only enhances the entire experience, but it is a declaration of love you are making to your future spouse. If done well, every guest in the room will be completely swept away by these incredible words and the setting has been set for the rest of the magical wedding day.” She does advise to keep your guests in mind, though. Anything your partner might not want shared or a very detailed challenge your relationship faced can be kept private.

While stories and kind words bring beautiful color to your vows, don’t forget the main purpose of the task. “The number one details to always include are specific promises, as these are the heart of wedding vows,” shares Peterson. “List three to six and make sure they can stand the test of time.” She notes, “Inside jokes you share today may dwindle over the years. To create meaningful promises, consider how you can keep your commitment strong and your partner happy.”

While vows can lean towards sentimentality (and it’s absolutely okay to cry), try to find a balance that feels authentic to you and your future spouse. “I recommend writing sweet and sentimental vows that also include some playfulness and humor,” says Peterson. “This provides a nice balance and reflects most couple's personalities.”

How to Write Wedding Vows

How to Recite Your Wedding Vows

Once you write your vows, go ahead and read them (many times) out loud. “Practice, practice, practice, and focus on your speed and tone,” advises Peterson, who works with her clients on delivery after the writing process. “Most couples speak too quickly. Slow down to make sure guests and your fiancé understand what you’re saying.”

Not only should you consider your pace, but also think about how you bring your vows to life through voice and gesture. “You can write the most beautiful words ever written, but if you sound monotonous without any expression or feeling, it will all get lost, and people will be bored silly,” says Pushkine. “You have to work on being as animated, expressive, and soulful. The more you practice, the better you’ll be.”

Both vow writers say that you should not try reciting your speech from memory. “If you forget one word or line, your mind might go blank and you’ll freeze in front of your fiancé,” notes Peterson. She advises writing them down in a vow booklet instead. Pushkine adds, “Never memorize, but get to know the words so well that you can make eye contact. You don’t want to be glued to your vow book or paper.”

And finally, of course, there’s no pressure—you and your partner should always feel able to do your wedding your way. If public speaking isn’t your thing, you can agree to exchange vows privately after a first look or even exchange letters ahead of the ceremony. Just be ready for makeup touch-ups if you shed a tear or two.

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How to Write Wedding Vows + Vow Examples To Get Started

Writing your wedding vows is the perfect way to personalize your wedding ceremony together. Whether you’re planning a traditional ceremony or a commitment ceremony , personalized wedding vows are romantic and the perfect way to start your marriage together. But how do you get started? A lot of couples tell us they get overwhelmed thinking about how to write wedding vows, and we get it! Sitting down and attempting to sum up all your love, promises, and dreams to your partner on such a significant day can be stressful. However, writing your vows doesn’t have to be stressful! This is why we took the time to break down everything you need to know including an easy vow template you can use and vow examples you can steal from other couples.

Reading and writing vows are some of our favorite elopement moments photographers share with us. If you’re up for the challenge of writing your wedding vows, then get ready to save this page to make sure you cover everything you need as you prepare to write your vows.

In This Article:

  • Wedding Vows Template
  • Tips For Writing Your Wedding Vows

Wedding Vow Examples

Answer these questions before you get started.

Disclaimer: This guide was created specifically for couples who are planning an elopement , small wedding , or exchanging their vows in private. 

Are you ready to start planning? Explore our elopement packages.

How to Write Your Wedding Vows

bride and groom exchanging vows on the coast

Photo by Venturing Vows featuring this Oregon Coast elopement

Writing your vows doesn’t have to be scary or hard for anyone. We think wedding vows can actually be straightforward! Follow these steps to prepare and create the perfect template for your wedding vows.

Wedding vow template you can steal:

Introduction: Start with a warm greeting or a special nickname. Express your love and gratitude for your partner’s presence in your life.

Reflection: Share a brief overview of your relationship journey. Mention key moments that have shaped your bond.

Qualities and Appreciation: Highlight specific qualities you love and appreciate in your partner. Recall instances that showcase these qualities.

Promises: Articulate the promises you want to make. Use this section to convey your commitment to love, support, and cherish each other.

Future Together: Envision your future as a couple. Share your hopes and dreams for the life you’ll build together.

Closing: End with a powerful statement of love. Consider adding a quote or a line that encapsulates your feelings.

Now let’s build your wedding vow template with our 5 steps:

Step 1: Reflect on Your Relationship

To get in the mood to write your wedding vows, take a moment to sit down and take a trip down memory lane and reminisce about the special moments that have defined your relationships.

Here are some things to consider as you reflect on your relationship:

  • Think about how you both met and how your relationship has evolved since then.
  • Think about milestones and challenges you both experienced together.
  • What are some of the most meaningful memories you have together that bring you joy?
  • Consider the moment you knew that your partner was “the one” for you.

Step 2: Identify Your Promises To Your Partner

Once you reflect on your relationship, you’ll want to think about what promises you want to make during your vows. You can structure your promises however you want, but our best rule of thumb is to reflect on your values and the foundation of your relationship.

Here are some ideas on what type of promises you can focus on during your vows:

  • Structure your promises with “I promise to…” until you complete this section.
  • Consider any bible verses or any traditions you want to incorporate into your promises together.
  • Incorporate words such as commitment, support, and forever… (don’t worry, we’ll share some example structures below).
  • Remember, not all promises you make to each other have to be super serious. You can also promise to be the one to kill the roaches or go on ice cream runs.

Step 3: Express Your Love

Once you make promises, take a moment to communicate your love in a way that is personal and meaningful to your relationship. Talk about what specific qualities you love about your partner during this section of your vows, and don’t be afraid to make your partner laugh. Your vows do NOT have to be super serious. Our best advice is to structure your vows according to the type of couple you are.

Here are some ideas:

  • Include nicknames you call each other, no need to be super formal.
  • Think about the qualities of your partner you really love and honor. You can even touch upon how these qualities have made you a better version of yourself.
  • Incorporate inside jokes only you two know. Couples tend to avoid this during traditional wedding ceremonies, but elopements and micro-weddings allow you to be as personal and intimate as you want.

Step 4: Acknowledge Your Partner

Now it’s time to express your gratitude and appreciation to your partner. Let’s face it, we all aren’t perfect and our significant other sometimes takes a lot of mood swings and overall crankiness. Now is the perfect time to acknowledge how much of cranky pants you have been sometimes and how understanding and patient they have been.

  • Mention a time your partner really helped you out of a hard time. This can be when you are really stressed, depressed, or experiencing any other challenges.
  • Talk about how your partner lights up a room or just makes you happier overall.

Step 5: Paint a Future Together

Your wedding day marks the first “official” day of forever for both of you. Take this moment in your vows to envision your future as a couple. You can also talk about your hopes and dreams here.

Here are some ideas to bounce off of:

  • Talk about the family you one day hope to have, or what you are looking forward to sharing. Then, end your vows promising to love your partner “as long as we both shall live”.
  • Talk about where you hope you both will be 5,10, even 30 years from now. Hey, this is a great time to build an awesome vow template to look back on during your 10-year vow renewal in the future.

Tips for Writing Your Wedding Vows

couple exchanging emotional vows

Photo by Sam Starns Adventure Elopement Photographer featuring this Redwoods elopement

Now that we have gone over an easy guideline for you to follow, here are 10 tips to think about and inspire you as you start writing your wedding vows.

1. Get Inspired

The best way to write your own wedding vows is to become inspired. Put together a playlist of different romantic songs, read old letters from each other, or look at old photographs. Walking down memory lane could be a useful tool to get in the “mood” and help get the words flowing. Another great way to get inspired is to read poems, and books, or even watch a good romantic movie.

2. Pick Out The Perfect Vow Book

wedding vow books for couples

Photos by Sarah Gehman Photography

After featuring hundreds of elopements, we have seen it all when it comes to how couples document their vows. We have seen everything from the traditional vow books to popsicle sticks! Nothing is off-limits and you can write your vows down on your phone, on a bunch of papers, or in a custom book.

We personally love vow books from The Keeper Co (pictured above). This is a fun and interactive approach to your basic vow book. Instead of a bunch of blank pages, The Keeper Co. provides enough space for your vows to your honey, and the remaining pages  have fun, interactive, and romantic prompts that will inspire you to remember why you’re saying “I do.” These books also come in three color options: white, grey, and black.

We love these little vow books so much that we snagged a special deal just for you.

Use code WANDERING for 10% off at The Keeper Co.

We also love these vow books from Amazon if you’re looking for another option. If you do end up buying a standard vow book, you can always continue writing your vows for your vow renewal, years later (your welcome for that idea).

3. Make a List of All Your Thoughts

Even if you plan on writing your vows days before or the morning of your wedding day, have a list you can go back to and make sure you have covered all the bases. It’s so easy to forget to write something or skip over it. This list will be a great starting point to help you focus.

4. Don’t Stress

Pro tip: don’t stress trying to cover everything in your wedding vows. While we understand you may want to fit everything you are feeling into your vow book, it’s impossible. You have your whole life to tell your partner how much you love them.

5. Find a Quiet Place

While many may say to write your vows days before your actual wedding, we actually love it when photographers capture the moment where the bride and groom write down their vows before they get ready during their elopement. This is probably the most ideal time because your heart and mind are completely on your wedding day free from any distractions. With that being said, find someplace quiet and comfortable to write down your wedding vows. You don’t want to lose your train of thought because too many people are around you. 

6. Say, “I Love You”

This may sound shocking, but a lot of couples tend to forget to say these three little words in their vows. Often, they will get so wrapped up in all the other details, they forget to say the words that mean the most. Take a moment, more than once, to remind your partner how much you love him or her.

7. Make Promises You’ll Keep

As you sit down at your quiet spot and write down your vows, think about what’s important to both of you. Think about what goals you both want to accomplish and what promises you want to make. Most wedding vows, touch on sticking around through the good times and the bad. It’s nice to bring up that marriage won’t always be sunshine and rainbows, and how ready and you’re ok with that. Promise to stick by their side, but also promise to put down the toilet seat.

8. Get Personal With It

We touched upon this, but you don’t have to make your vows 100% romantic because no relationship is ever 100% candlelit dinners and roses. Your partner also wants to hear about what makes your relationship authentic. Talk about the late-night binge eating to a whole season on Netflix, or that crazy time you both got stranded exploring somewhere new. Make your vows raw and unapologetically you.

9. If You’re Nervous, Practice!

For some couples, writing their wedding vows isn’t the only stressful thing. Reading out loud could be another aspect that makes you feel jittery. Remember, however, the person you are reading your vows will not judge you. If you find yourself nervous, don’t be afraid to go through a practice run or share some ideas with a close friend or family member.

10. Keep Your Vows a Secret

Think of your wedding vows as a wedding present to each other. While we do suggest talking about the length you both should write for each other (you don’t want to write 2 pages and have your partner write 10!), we think everything else should be kept a secret. This is a great time to show your partner how you see them through your eyes.

Now that you have written some notes, here are some epic wedding vow examples from gorgeous elopements around the world. We have presented some excerpts from couples and videos, so you both get a great idea of what an intimate wedding ceremony looks like when you decide to elope together.

These wedding vow examples are in both excerpts and video formats. If you are still stuck on how to incorporate your vows into your wedding ceremony, we suggest teaming up with a Wandering Weddings vendor .

Julia and Joseph’s Elopement

Are you wondering how epic it would be to have your vows recorded by a videographer? Julia and Joseph’s elopement day at Mt. Baker in Washington was captured by True Northwest Weddings .  

  • “Standing here on top of this beautiful mountain the day we both have patiently waited for is finally here. You are the most extraordinary person I know. I love your positive care-free attitude towards life and how it infects those around you, especially me. I admire your desire, and commitment, to seeing something through when it peeks your interest.
I love you because of the way you care for our son, being so compassionate, and patient…Engaging with him, teaching him how to love, laugh, and have fun. And whether intentional or not, molding him to be exactly like his mom in all the best ways possible…” [Joseph, the groom]
  • “The love we share is tender and gentle, honest and kind. Your unwavering love is the greatest gift in the world. Thank you for being the person I can always depend on to love and support who I am. You have filled every hole in my heart and then made my soul complete from this day, for the rest of our days I will love you as much as I know how and I will never stop striving to be better for you and for us.
I promise to love you so strongly the word doesn’t even begin to do it justice, but I also promise to love you in such a way that you are free. Free to grow, free to change, free to explore who you are as an individual. We have always been and will always be my best friend. Your heart is my home. I choose you over anyone and I always will, forever.” [Julia, the bride]

Jennifer and Craig’s Elopement

wedding vow examples

Jennifer and Craig eloped in Sedona, Arizona . This elopement was captured by AdventureandVow.

  • I, Craig Allen Tingley the II, take you, Jennifer Elizabeth Sloan to be my lawfully wedded wife. Before these witnesses, I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live. I take you, with all your faults and strengths, as I offer myself to you with all my faults and strengths. I will help you when you need help, And turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life.
  • I, Jennifer Elizabeth Sloan take you, Craig Allen Tingley the II to be my lawfully wedded husband. Before these witnesses, I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live. I take you, with all your faults and strengths, as I offer myself to you with all my faults and strengths. I will help you when you need help, And turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life.
  • I, take thee, Jennifer, to be my wedded wife, To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in joy and sorrow, and I promise my love to you. With this ring, I take you as my Wife for as long as we both shall live.
  • I, take thee, Craig, to be my wedded husband To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in joy and sorrow, and I promise my love to you. With this ring, I take you as my Husband for as long as we both shall live.

Jumi and Greg’s Elopement

This magical elopement ceremony captured by Cinema  of  Poetry is breathtaking. Jumi and Greg exchanged vows with Crete’s gorgeous landscape as their backdrop.

  • “It’s amazing to be back in Crete, 7 years after falling in love with this beautiful island. Little did I know, the beautiful woman I would be marrying today would come into my life, just 3 months later.
We met just after Hurricane Sandy hit New York City. Much like Sandy, Jumi, you shook up my world and changed it forever. But unlike Sandy, you changed it for the better. You’ve made me feel emotions I didn’t know I could feel. You pushed me out of my comfort zone. You’ve helped me discover and ignite a deep rooted passion for food and travel. Best of all, this is a passion we share together. You put wind in my sails…

We sparked our shared love for food and adventure over that first plate of fried grasshopers! We have traveled over hundreds and thousands of miles to 19 countries together! Even if we just barely made the flight in time for some. We have shared millions of calories together. Jumi, I love you. You make me a better person.

I promise to be faithful to you, listen to you more, respect you, appreciate you, and love you.” [Greg, the groom]

  • “You don’t make my heart skip a beat, you keep it beating. You are patient, you are kind, you are soft-spoken, and never easily angered. You are honest and calm, you never hold grudges and keep no records of wrongdoing. You respect me, you’re loyal to me. Your love never fails. Your love is always faithful.
Wherever you go, I go. I vow to put our marriage and the family we are going to build together first. I vow to rejoice in your happiness and comfort you in your sadness. I vow to never get tired of pushing you to reach your dreams and our dreams. I vow that I will always be the woman beside you. I vow to always dream, hope, and preserve with you. I vow and support and challenge you. Most especially, sing to you, dance with you, and grow old with you.

You may be a tiny speck of dust in this universe, in this world, but to me… you are my world, my home, and my adventure, all at once. I love you very much. I vow to go to the ends of the earth with you. We are a team, today, tomorrow, and always. I’ll be beside you always.” [Jumi, the bride]

Claire and Jason’s Elopement

Yosemite elopement vows

Claire and Jason’s beautiful wedding day at gorgeous Yosemite will inspire you to elope. Just look at that view! This elopement was captured by Nicole Alex Photography . Check out these wedding vow examples from the bride and groom:

  • “Every day you try your very hardest to be the best partner, daughter, sister, student, employee, and person all at the same time. I’ve had the special privilege of seeing all of this and admire so many of your qualities. You are amazing. And to this day, boy am I grateful to be the one you have chosen…
I look forward to traveling the world with you, starting a family together, growing old in that little house around the corner we love so much.” [Jason, the groom]
  • “We could have met each other so many different times before we finally connected. We likely passed each other on the street, in the halls at university but when we finally met it clearly was meant to be. You are the place I feel safest, you are my greatest adventure and I am so excited to start our lives together.” [Claire, the bride]

Jordan and Kegan’s Elopement

This romantic elopement at the Rocky Mountains is a great example of intimate wedding vows. Videography by Backcountry Vows .

  • “Jordan Lee, it’s true what people say that time flies when you’re having fun. Can you believe it’s almost been 11 years since the day I met you in our 9th-grade Biology class? Little did I know that day would be the beginning of something so wonderful. I can still remember the nerves I felt every time I was with you. You were the gorgeous new girl from Colorado, and now I can call you my little Boulder girl. You are an amazing woman who is strong, who dreams big, and who loves unconditionally.
There’s not a day that goes by that I am not blown away by how passionate you are. You give your everything in not only school but our relationship as well. There has not been a single challenge I have had to face without you by my side. You have always been there for me, supporting my every decision, and trusting me even when you were uncertain of what it would bring. There has not been a day that you have let me try less than my best.

We have grown so much together and have overcome so many obstacles. I am so excited to keep exploring this life-long adventure with you from weekend trips playing in the mountains to working side-by-side on our careers. You are what fuels me and you are what I love the most.” [The groom]

  • “Over the years we have built our lives together on a foundation of smiles and laughter, patience and compassion, and most importantly hard work, mutual respect, and trust.
These past 11 years have shown me just how lucky I was to have met you 4,000 some days ago. And just how lucky I am to spend the rest of my life with you.

From the moment we met, I found a new kind of happiness that I seriously thought only existed in fairy tales.” [The bride]

two brides reading their wedding vows together

Photo by Allie Dearie Photography featuring this Cap Rock ceremony at Joshua Tree

If you are still struggling to get started, then check out these questions to get your ideas rolling!

  • Where did you first meet?
  • What did you think when you first saw your partner?
  • When did you realize you were in love?
  • How has your life changed since you met each other?
  • What is something you both love doing together?
  • What hard times did you both get through?
  • Is there a song or quote that you feel represents your relationship?
  • Do you have any inside jokes?

If you’re worried about each other’s vows, then you both should consider answering these questions before you work on your wedding vows:

  • How long should our vows be?
  • Do you want to personalize it or keep things short and sweet?
  • Is it okay to bring up inside jokes and personal moments together? (this question is a good one if you’re planning a small wedding ceremony versus an elopement ).
  • Do you want to incorporate any religious passages or traditional elements into our vows?

Frequently Asked Questions When Writing Your Vows

couple reading wedding vows in paris, france

Photo by Studio Fotografico Bacci

You have the perfect template, tips, and examples to go off of, but you still have questions. Let’s dive into some of the top ones we often hear:

How long should my vows be?

3 minutes tops each for a more traditional wedding ceremony. However, we have seen couples who elope and have pretty lengthy and emotional vows together. The reason why couples plan on longer vows when they elope is because they don’t have the typical audience that comes with a traditional wedding. If you’re planning a mix of things (a small wedding ceremony and elopement adventure), then you can always save your vows when you adventure together. This way, you won’t have to stress about how long you’re taking or if you should say that one joke that’s a little too “personal”.

How far in advance should I write my wedding vows?

We think 1-2 months before your wedding day is a pretty good plan. This gives you plenty of time to make a couple of drafts if needed. We suggest starting by writing a couple of key points you want to cover during your vows and then expanding from there. Once you finish your first draft, you can leave it there and come back to it 1-2 weeks later to refine it with fresh new eyes. However, we have also seen couples who write their wedding vows on the day of their wedding! Yup, this also makes for great photo ops for your photographer if you plan on going this route. There is no right or wrong answer.

Where should I write my vows?

We recommend to keep things simple and start with some sheets of paper. By starting your vows this way, you’re able to edit them and then transfer the final version of your vows to a personalized vow book (like the ones we suggested above). You can write your vows anywhere. You’ll just have to consider if you want your vows to be saved in a particular way, or if your vows will only be used in that moment.

  • Personalized vow books
  • Wooden, engraved tablets
  • Sealed letters

Is it OK to ask for help with my wedding vows?

100% it’s ok to ask for help! Help for your wedding vows exists in so many ways. You can browse through resources (like this one) to get more ideas or even ask your officiant for advice. If you want to keep things personal, then consider asking your closest family/friends to read over your vows. There is no right or wrong way to write your wedding vows. These vows are personal and only YOU can find the correct words to say to your partner on your wedding day. However, you can always ask for help if you need it!

Who should read their wedding vows first?

Traditional ceremonies dictate that the groom reads his vows first, BUT we are not for traditions on our site. That said, either of you can go first when reading your wedding vows. We have actually had couples play “rock, paper, scissors” to figure out who reads their vows first. This is your wedding day, you can do whatever you want.

couple writing their wedding vows together before their wedding ceremony

Photo by Rachel Beckwith Photography from this Colorado Springs wedding

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The Simple, Uncomplicated Approach to Writing Your Wedding Vows

Write beautiful but simple vows with this advice.

what paper should i write my vows on

PHOTO BY ZIBETTI PHOTO AND FILM  

In This Article

Choosing to write your own vows is a beautiful way to personalize your wedding. However, when the time comes to put pen to paper, you might find yourself stumped. There are so many ways you can go about this task that you might not know where to start. Luckily, we have the answer.

In this guide, we'll show you a simple approach to writing your own wedding vows. You can expect real-life examples, tips, and all the advice you need.

Simple Wedding Vow Template

When you’re penning your own promises, you have the chance to be more creative. Unsure where to begin? To get you started, take a look at this simple template.

  • Start with ‘I love you.’ Let’s start with the basics. Before you delve into the vows, you need to tell your partner that you love them and show how much you care. This part of your wedding vows may be somewhat emotional. Don’t forget those three little words.
  • Explain how your partner has changed you. When someone special comes into your life, they change you. They might teach you things you never knew about yourself or, on a more practical level, share a new skill with you. Take a moment to consider what your partner has done for you and thank them for it. Draw upon your differences and state them as strengths you will both use to move forward as a newly wedded couple.
  • Give a personal anecdote. Your wedding vows should be as unique as your romantic relationship, so make things personal. You might want to tell a short and sweet story about how you met or simply speak about what makes your relationship special. You don’t have to talk about the big things here. Instead, you can draw upon small, everyday quirks that you love. Show that you notice the small idiosyncrasies that make your partner unique.
  • Make realistic promises. The heart of this speech is the promises or vows you make to your partner. While you should vow to love, honor, and cherish them, there’s room to make these promises more down-to-earth, too. For example, you might want to say that you will always watch a certain TV show with them or that you will always support their favorite team. Adding a sense of realism to your vows makes them more meaningful.
  • Thank them and look to the future. Finally, you’re going to want to thank your partner for being who they are and loving you. You may also want to close your vows with a look toward the future. Consider how your wedded life may look and talk about any hopes or dreams that you have for the two of you. Be optimistic, caring, and honest here.

Simple Wedding Vow Tips

Now that you’ve got a wedding vows template, let’s talk about how you’re going to write them. This task doesn’t have to be as complicated as it may sound. Here are some expert tips that will help you perfect the art of writing.

  • Start writing early. If you think you have all the time in the world to write your vows, you may want to think again. This sentimental task will take longer than you expect. Give yourself as much time as possible by starting early. Remember, you don’t have to write the whole thing in one go. You can keep coming back to your vows until you get them right.
  • Start with some bullet points. Before you start writing your vows, consider what you’re trying to say. It’s helpful to make some bullet points. Put everything down on paper so you know what you’re working with. That way, it will be much easier when you start.
  • Make a full-length draft. Next, it’s time to draft your vows. Avoid editing yourself as you go along and simply write. Allow all your feelings to come out and be honest. At this point, you don’t need to worry about length. It’s more important to get it all out there.
  • Edit, edit, and edit some more. When you have completed your draft, you can get started on editing. While every aside and anecdote may feel essential, try to stick to the most meaningful ones. It’s extremely hard to edit your own words, especially when the topic is sentimental. However, you need to cut back where you can.
  • Let your personality shine. Each wedding guest knows you well, so you should let your personality shine through your writing. Don’t attempt to write in someone else’s voice. Simply be yourself. Write things the way you would naturally say them.
  • Feel free to be a bit cheesy. Romance should be at the heart of your wedding vows. Don’t worry about being cheesy or overly romantic. That’s to be expected! You should feel free to wear your heart on your sleeve and be honest about how you feel.
  • Get a second opinion. Almost done? It’s time to get a second opinion on your wedding vows. While you may want to keep them a surprise for most people, you should call upon a trusted friend.
  • Practice your vows! Finally, it’s time to get practicing. The first time you read your vows shouldn’t be at your wedding. You can recite the vows in front of the mirror or record yourself saying them. Keep going until you know them by heart!

Answer These Questions to Get Started

If you’re about ready to start writing your wedding vows, take a moment to answer the following questions. You want to make sure that your speech is on point, which means that you need to put some real thought into how people may react. Here’s what to consider:

  • How long will your vows be?
  • Should you incorporate religion into your vows?
  • How can you make your vows unique to you?
  • Are some anecdotes too personal to share?
  • How sentimental do you want your vows to be?
  • How will specific guests react to your vows?

Simple Wedding Vow Examples to Make Your Own

Example 1: wear your heart on your sleeve.

“First I vow to always respect you, both in name and faith. Second, I vow to be your support and encouragement in times of despair and times of prosper. Finally, as the glamour and excitement of today fades away and our lives take different forms, I vow to love you just as much tomorrow as I do today.” – Lauren Corna (via YouTube )

Example 2: Crack a Few Personal Jokes

“I promise to feign an interest in cricket for the rest of our days; to know that three bottles of Sriracha is never enough; that toothpaste must be bought in bulk; and that FIFA is not just a game. But, most importantly, in a thousand lifetimes, if I had a thousand choices, I would still choose you.” –  Nakita (via YouTube )

Example 3: Make a Touching Promise

“I promise to be there when your hair turns gray, your face wrinkles, and life around us looks different. And I cannot promise that life will be perfect because it won’t. But it will be a perfect life lived with you, pursuing the Lord until the end of our days.” – Bailey (via YouTube )

Example 4: Recite a Poem

“I cannot promise you a life full of sunshine. I cannot promise you riches, wealth, or gold. I cannot promise you an easy pathway that leads from growing old. But I can promise you all of my heart’s devotion. A smile to chase away our tears, our sorrow. A love that’s ever true and ever growing. My hand to hold in yours for each tomorrow.” – Austin ( via YouTube )

Example 5: Share How You Make Each Other Better

“You’ve done nothing but make me a better man. You were so patient with my 18-year-old self back then. You challenged me with unfamiliar beliefs and taught me about new interests. You tamed my judgmental high ego and stubborn self and you continue to do that to this day when it’s not going to stop. Every day I feel truly blessed to bear witness to you.” – Neja ( via YouTube )

Example 6: Share Some Personal Anecdotes

“I’ll always be by your side, even when I’m 80 and you still want to go on a morning walk. I promise I’ll have my sand shoes on even though they’re actually called runners and be ready to go. I’ll get out of bed when you’re tired just to plug your phone charger in or pull the blankets up to tuck you in. I’ll turn the heater on when you’re cold even when I’m already sweating. When we’re out for dinner I’ll always shuffle forward when you pull the table closer to you.” – Rob ( via YouTube ) 

Example 7: Unconditional Love of Everything

“I promise to love you unconditionally every day for the rest of your life. Encourage you to achieve greatness and to tell you I love you each night before we go to sleep. I also promise to continue to annoy you every day for the rest of time and pretend I’m interested in whatever PlayStation game you’re playing even though I have no idea what you are talking about.” – Bec ( via YouTube )

Example 8: Being a Supportive Partner

“I promise to always laugh with you and never go to bed angry. I promise to make you laugh and giggle the cute way that you do. I promise to comfort you in times of sorrow and pick you up when all seems far gone. I promise to always listen to what you have to say even when we don’t agree and to remember that love is saying 'I feel differently' instead of 'you’re wrong.'” – Ryan ( via YouTube )

Example 9: Make the Most of Every Moment

“I promise to try my best to never stop listening to the things you say. To celebrate small accomplishments. To apologize to you when I need to. To panic at the sight of bugs and call for your help. To sneak in hugs when you’re brushing your teeth.” – Lisa ( via YouTube )

Example 10: Love Overcomes Adversity

“We’ve seen each other grow as people, as lovers, and as partners. And we’ve been through some of our highest highs and our lowest lows and we’ve come out the other side together. Whether it’s walking down the street in a place we’ve never been to before or just on the couch watching Bravo, every moment with you is the most wonderful adventure yet and we have so many more in us.” – Jackie ( via YouTube )

Example 11: Devote Your Life to Your Partner

“I promise to fight for you and to put you first as this family is the most important family now. I promise to be your biggest fan and supporter in every aspect of life. I promise to laugh with you and to cry with you and to hold you. I promise to listen, I promise to be patient, and I promise to treat you with nothing but respect and kindness.” – Brett ( via YouTube )

Example 12: Proclaim Your Love Every Day

“My final vow is that I will never stop expressing my love for you. I will never stop pursuing you with every breath that I take. I will pray for you, help guide you, support you, and protect you. I will love you fiercely every day that I live and every day after.” – Jeff ( via YouTube )

Example 13: There for You in Many Ways

“The confidence I have in our love is unshakable. From this day forward I promise to be your strongest advocate, your personal chef, your chauffeur, your shoulder to cry on, and your comic relief.” – Craig ( via YouTube )

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How to Write the Most Amazing Wedding Vows: A Comprehensive Guide

Everything you need to know to make your vows the highlight of your special day.

Of all the elements of your wedding, the vow exchange during your ceremony is arguably the most important. Sure, the maid of honor speech may be heartfelt (and the best man speech is sure to bring the house down). The flowers will be gorgeous and the menu you meticulously crafted will be delicious. But your wedding is really about your love—and your promises to each other for marriage. 

These days, as couples personalize so many aspects of their weddings, many people choose to write wedding vows themselves. Personal wedding vows give you the chance to say exactly what’s in your heart to your spouse-to-be and make your ceremony truly your own. 

If you’re considering writing your own vows, this guide will tell you everything you need to know to make your vows truly memorable. 

Why Should You Write Your Own Wedding Vows?

Bride and groom in front of each other under veil

While in the past most people opted for traditional wedding vows for their ceremonies, personalized wedding vows are becoming more and more popular. You’ve worked hard to make so many aspects of your wedding day feel uniquely yours so why shouldn’t your vows be just as personal? Since your wedding ceremony is the point of your wedding celebration anyway it makes sense to spend some time really tailoring your vows to fit you and the special couple that you are. 

Questions To Ask Before Writing Your Own Personal Vows 

wedding

Before putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard, as the case may be), talk with your fiance so you can get on the same page about writing your own vows. While your respective vows will be your own (and you may opt to surprise each other on the actual wedding day with what you’re going to say) you should lay down a few parameters so that your vows complement each other.

Here are some key questions you should answer together: 

How long should our wedding vows be?

It’s important to agree on the ideal length for your vows so that one person isn’t talking for 30 seconds and the other person is talking for 15 minutes. While your vows don’t have to be exactly the same length, they should be in the same ballpark. Anywhere from two to five minutes is a good amount of time. 

How personal should our wedding vows get?

Talk with each other about your level of comfort with personal stories and anecdotes. One of you may be more private than the other when it comes to what you want to share about your relationship—and what you’re okay with sharing in front of your families. Personal wedding vows are just that, personal, so definitely discuss this aspect so that you’re both comfortable. 

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Do we want funny wedding vows or more romantic wedding vows.

It’s always a good call to discuss the vibe you want for your wedding ceremony in general and your wedding vows are a big part of that. While you don’t have to both write the same kind of vows, it’s worth discussing your wants and expectations. One of you might want to write more funny wedding vows, while the other might want to write more romantic wedding vows. Ideally, your vows would have a mix of both but if one of you is more serious and sentimental and the other is more goofy, you can use your vows as a fun way to reflect your different personalities. 

Are we incorporating religious wedding vows?

Writing religious wedding vows or non denominational wedding vows can be a big decision, especially if your families have input in your ceremony. If you are of the same faith, you can consider incorporating elements of religious wedding vows into your personalized ones. Or, if you have different religious backgrounds, one of you could include, for instance, some catholic wedding vows in your promises to your spouse to reflect your background, while your partner could weave buddhist wedding vows into theirs.  

Are we incorporating traditional wedding vows?

wedding

Talk about whether you’ll be incorporating traditional wedding vows into your own. The content of traditional vows can vary, with some focusing on the “in sickness and in health” component or language like “from this day forward,” with others highlighting an “obedient and faithful wife,” which may or may not jive with your partner’s wishes. Many traditional wedding vows focus on traditional gender roles while more modern wedding vows highlight a more egalitarian partnership. 

Key Elements That Your Wedding Vows Should Have

Groom placing ring on bride's finger by Jeongim Kwon on Unsplash

Whatever the content of your personal vows end up being, they should have these four key elements: 

A meaningful quote or saying

Choose a special love quote that reminds you of your relationship or your fiance to help anchor your words and provide a more universal sentiment.

Personal touches or anecdotes

Make your personal vows uniquely yours with a short story that exemplifies your love and gives your loved ones an inside view into your relationship. 

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Clear promises to each other.

This is the meat of your vows where you make specific pledges to each other to seal your lifetime bond. 

A declaration of love 

Finally, don’t forget to say “I love you” to your partner during your vows. That’s pretty important but not always obvious as something you should include.

Foolproof Wedding Vow Tips

wedding

If you don’t consider yourself a writer (and even if you do) sitting down and writing your vows can feel a little daunting. The following wedding vow tips will help make the process a little easier. 

Give yourself plenty of time

Wedding planning can be overwhelming and time consuming but you don’t want the task of writing your own vows to get overlooked until just before the big day. Once you decide to write your own vows, try working on them early so you have time to revise. 

Get inspiration

Feel free to borrow from other wedding vow examples to help you figure out what you want to say. Think about weddings you’ve been to and which vows you really connected with, then try to determine why those worked so well. If you haven’t been to a lot of weddings, you can look up sample wedding vows online to read through what other couples have written for each other. 

Do a free write for your first draft

Person writing in notebook

Sit down and just write. Don’t censor yourself or worry about length, just get ideas down. Once you finish this first draft, which is really the hardest part, you can edit it down to just the really good stuff. 

Ask for input

Your vows don’t need to be shrouded in secrecy. You can read them to your partner before your wedding day without the sentiment being any less during the actual ceremony. Or you can ask a trusted friend for their input. At the very least, reading your vows to someone will help with your nerves and give you some help with the editing process. 

Don’t Overthink Your Own Vows

Bride and groom holding hands

Finally, don’t put so much pressure on yourself to write perfect vows. Your vows will be special and meaningful because of the context you say them in. Write (and speak) from the heart and you’ll be just fine. Promise.

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Natasha Burton is a freelance writer and relationship expert who has written for Cosmopolitan, Maxim, Women’s Health, Livestrong and Brides, among other publications. She’s the author of What's My Type?: 100+ Quizzes to Help You Find Yourself―and Your Match!, 101 Quizzes for Couples, 101 Quizzes for BFFs and 101 Quizzes for Brides and Grooms, and the coauthor of The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags.

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How to Write Wedding Vows Step by Step

Written by  Shutterfly Community Last Updated: Sep 5, 2023

Wedding Guestbooks

Tips for Writing Wedding Vows

Wedding vows for her, wedding vows for him, romantic wedding vows, funny wedding vows.

  • Wedding Vows Examples

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  • Continue by saying what it is you love about your partner.  What about this person has led you to promise forever? When did you realize you were in love? What do you miss when you’re not around each other? Jotting down all of your ideas and each of things you love about this person can make it easier to get your thoughts together, find a theme and focus in on a few items that really stand out. Don’t worry about saying every little thing, if you were to do that your ceremony would go on forever.
  • Use a story to bring this love to life.  This is a great moment to tell a story or use an anecdote to bring your love to life. A personal story is memorable and will give your guests an intimate look into your love for one another.
  • Lay out exactly what it is you are promising.  Make promises to your partner and vow to stick to them. Such as, “I vow to always support you,” or “I promise to never steal the covers unless, you’re hogging them.” Mention specific ways you will show your love— in romantic ways, funny ways and ways only the two of you could understand. If the two of you are celebrating your faith on your wedding day, you can incorporate religious wedding vows and wedding bible verses too. Use words like I vow, I promise and I pledge.
  • Use romantic wedding vows to personalize your promise.  Use romantic wedding vows to encompass your promise, love and devotion.
  • Use funny wedding vows to personalize your promise.  Your wedding day will be one of the happiest days of your life. Add humor to your wedding vows so they stay true to the two of you.
  • Mention specific things the two of you will do together.  Continue this portion of your vows by mentioning the specific things you will accomplish together. Using phrases like: “With you,” “I will,” and “Together.”
  • Don’t forget to add that you’ll be there even when times get rough.  Reassure your partner that this is for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.
  • Wrap your vows up with a look towards the future.  Think about your goals, aspirations and future. Will your love help you through the home remodel? How will your love set the tone for the way you raise your family? What are you looking forward to sharing with this special person.
  • “As long as we both shall live.”  End your vows with one last promise, the promise of forever, for eternity and until death do us part.

Personalized wedding napkins that read So This Is Love with hashtag

  • Talk vows over with your fiancé.  You’ll want to keep the final product a secret and surprise for your wedding day. Although, it can help you feel more comfortable getting started if you and your partner agree on a certain style, format or tone for your vows. Will the two of you incorporate some of the same promises as traditional wedding vows? Are you going to stick to romantic promises or incorporate a more light-hearted tone? Some couples even decide to share their vows with each other before the wedding day. The best part is that the two of you get to decide what you prefer!
  • Surround yourself with memories.  Whether it’s old photographs, your first love note or special keepsakes, these items will remind you of all the moments the two of you have shared with one another. One moment may remind you of another which, may lead to that one time and the next thing you know it, you’ll have too many ideas.
  • Make a list.  When you first sit down to write your vows, don’t be stressed about writing complete sentences. Start jotting down everything that comes to mind.
  • Why did you decide to get married?
  • What did you think when you first saw him/her?
  • When did you realize you were in love?
  • What do you have now that you didn’t have before you met?
  • How has she/he changed your view of the world?
  • What do you miss when you’re apart from each other?
  • What hard times have you gone through together?
  • What makes your relationship tick?
  • Get inspired. You can look through different wedding vow examples including the ones featured below. You’ll be able to find plenty of inspiration. You can also pull inspiration from your favorite poets, authors, o romantic movies, as long as you don’t let someone else’s words overpower your own.  Once you’ve found a few ideas you love, determine what it is about those vows that you are drawn to and try to incorporate that into your own.
  • Avoid anything too personal or embarrassing. You’ll want your guests to be able to follow along with what you’re saying and be a part of this special moment. Limit the inside jokes and any words you second guess as you re-read what you’ve written. You can also have a friend read through your vows and make sure you didn’t miss anything.
  • Take a break.  Sometimes your best writing happens when you come back to it the next day. If you need a break, then take one. This is the reason you started early in the first place.
  • I promise to love you, honor you, and cherish you as my husband.
  • I am proud to be your loving wife, ecstatic to discover what is next in our lives, and thrilled that our every day will be together on this adventure.
  • I promise to laugh with you and to laugh at myself.
  • You are the love of my life and I am proud to marry you. I promise to support your dreams and to be there for you for all eternity.
  • I vow to be a loving and devoted wife, without judgement, without scorn, but always with an open heart and mind.
  • We are best friends, with unending happiness, always having the best time, let’s solve life’s mysteries together one embrace at a time.
  • I truly love all I know of you and long to learn more as we grow old together, falling for you a little more each day, being part of your life and connected in every way forever.
  • You are my forever, my best friend, my dream come true, my shoulder to lean on, my husband. You are my everything.
  • I vow to listen, to speak lovingly, to give generously all of myself, to care, to heal, to rejoice, and to pray with you forever and always.
  • I love you to the moon and back. And so much more than that.

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  • I promise to be the man that I see now in your eyes, today, tomorrow, and for always.
  • You are the first person I want to see in the morning and the last at night. I look forward to loving the smallest moments, like your eyes while you toss your hair. Spin a coin into a fountain and make a wish for us. You are my wish come true.
  • I vow to always protect you from harm, to stand with you against your troubles, and look to you when I need protection.
  • I know you. I know you as my love who has always been and will always be. I name you my wife and cannot wait to continue our eternal loving journey.
  • In your eyes, I have found my home. In your heart, I have found my love. In your soul, I have found my mate. With you, I am whole, full, alive. You make me laugh. You let me cry. You are my breath, my every heartbeat.
  • You know me better than anyone else in this world and somehow still you manage to love me. You are my best friend and one true love. There is still a part of me today that cannot believe that I’m the one who gets to marry you.
  • I see these vows not as promises but as privileges: I get to laugh with you and cry with you; care for you and share with you. I get to run with you and walk with you; build with you and live with you.
  • I pledge to listen to your advice, and occasionally take it. I pledge to never keep score… even if I’m totally winning. I pledge to always admire your huge, strong, kind and determined heart. I pledge that I will love you.
  • I am so happy to be able to tell you – I do, I will, and I always will – whatever I have is yours.
  • I promise to love and care for you, and I will try in every way to be worthy of your love. I will always be honest with you, kind, patient and forgiving. I promise to try to be on time. But most of all, I promise to be a true and loyal friend to you. I love you.
  • I have to catch my breath to believe this is real, that I am marrying my true love, my heart’s desire, and my best friend.
  • As I promise always to be true I promise myself to you.
  • No words can possibly express the vow that I give to you now – it is an ineffable part of myself that I place in your care as we join together.
  • Our love will bind us together through all time and this I promise, to always be true.
  • I knew I loved you from the moment we met, and I have been helplessly lost in your eyes ever since.
  • I promise to grow with you and build with you a better life each day as we learn from each other to be patient, kind, giving, and to always cherish each day together.
  • My commitment to you is one if give willingly, absolutely, and without hesitation. I am yours utterly and have been since the moment we met. We were married before this day and will always be.
  • I promise you my unconditional love, tenderness, and undying devotion, to not ask you to be more than you are, and to love you for being you.
  • I promise to be here to wipe away tears of sadness, to elicit tears of joy, and to cry out to everyone who will listen how much I love you.

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  • I vow to turn on the heater when you’re freezing cold, even if I’m burning up.
  • I promise to take out the garbage, even in the pouring rain or freezing cold.
  • I promise to get up and get our remote from across the room, even if it was not I who placed the remote so very far away.
  • I promise to always respect your choice of music in the car when you are driving. If you are not driving however…
  • I promise to root for ______ even though I could truly care less who wins.
  • You are the one I want to binge watch Netflix with forever.
  • I promise to love you as much as the Chicago Cubs and not hold your black and white striped dress against you.
  • Let’s be the only people to get each other’s jokes.
  • I vow to be your spell checker, grammar friend, and tell you when things need hyphens. I promise to be your partner in exercise, even if I am much faster than you, and most of all, I promise to try things, even though I am sure I will not like them, just because you say, “try this!”
  • I promise to share the covers, leave the light on, make sure the toilet paper is stocked, not use all the hot water, and do as many dishes as I can stomach, as long as we both shall live so help me God.

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How to Write Wedding Vows: Tips for Heartfelt Words

How to write wedding vows: couple holding hands while at their wedding

You’ve found the love of your life, and now it’s time to write your wedding vows . If you’ve chosen to write the vows yourself, you know the magnitude of the moment. This special undertaking offers a chance to express how much your future spouse means to you — in your own words.

Learning how to write wedding vows can feel intimidating, but you don’t have to do it alone. To help you create personal wedding vows that are authentic and heartfelt, discover our tips on structure, tone, and other elements that will showcase your thoughtfulness and personality.

How to Write Wedding Vows That Express Your Love and Show Your Personality

How to write wedding vows: couple reading their wedding vows

Wedding vows are more than just promises. They signify the importance of your love, the path you envision for yourselves, and your commitment to building the future of your dreams. Putting those feelings into words can be tough, but it’s not impossible, especially with a little guidance. 

Here, we’ll show you how to write wedding vows in easy-to-follow steps, whether you’re planning a   vow renewal , elopement , or traditional wedding.

Create Your Wedding Vow Structure

Like all writing, your wedding vows should have structure. While there isn’t one specific wedding vow template to follow, sit down and think about what you want to say. Is there a story you can share that encapsulates your relationship? Maybe your significant other once said something to you that made you realize they were the one. Perhaps a fateful event happened that brought you together.

Whatever it is, consider how that story or moment represents your love and then use that to create an outline for your vows. Most couples mention what their partner means to them, share an anecdote about how they met or knew they were the right one, and end the vows with their promises of love and commitment.

In general, wedding vows should be one to three minutes long. Keep this in mind when setting the structure for your vows. And remember, it’s your big day , so if you want to take a little more time, that’s fine, too!

Decide on Tone

Your tone is just as important as the wedding words you choose. Before writing your vows, think about what tone you want. You can choose to be funny, lighthearted , sentimental, or formal. 

Consider matching the tone to your relationship style — if you’re goofy together, feel free to be silly and write funny wedding vows . (If you’re both known for your sense of humor, you can also send funny wedding invitations to let guests know what to expect!) You can also use a couple of different tones to highlight the trajectory of your relationship over the years. 

Use Meaningful Anecdotes

Keep inside jokes to a minimum — or add them to a personal card you can give your partner in crime on the wedding day . Instead, use meaningful anecdotes to share special moments with family members and friends who have taken the time to attend your wedding. Share one or two stories that demonstrate the heart of your relationship. 

Share Solid Promises

Wedding vows aren’t complete without promises. After all, you’re standing at the altar about to spend the rest of your life with your soulmate . That means you may want to write personal vows that aren’t just rosy and fun. At times, life will be hard, and you’ll need to rely on each other. Now’s the time to make solid promises on how you’ll navigate hard times and how you’ll celebrate your biggest achievements.

End With a Memorable Moment

Wrap up your vows with a special moment. This doesn’t have to be groundbreaking. It can be as simple as telling your partner “I love you” and thanking guests for supporting your marriage. 

8 Tips for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

How to write wedding vows: couple saying their wedding vows

Ready to write your vows? Here are our top tips to ensure the process goes smoothly. Preparing early and getting help from loved ones can help you craft vows as perfect as your love.

1. Start Early

Don’t wait until the last minute to write your wedding vows . By starting early, you’ll avoid feeling stressed out or rushed — and you can get input from friends, family, and other loved ones if you like. You’ll have more time to think of special moments or stories you want to share during the wedding ceremony . Plus, by starting early, you’ll have plenty of time to rework and practice your vows before the big day .

2. Have a Brainstorming Session

Engagement Bands Invitation

Design: Stacey Meacham Design, LLC

When learning how to write wedding vows , one of the first things you’ll need to do is jot down your ideas. Take time to brainstorm anecdotes you want to share or promises you want to make. 

If you’re having a religious wedding — such as a Jewish, Muslim, or Catholic wedding — you’ll also want to consider whether you want to mention God or a verse from sacred text. Make a long list and then revisit it a few days later to see if you’ve come up with new ideas or have a favorite. 

During this time, consider looking at wedding vow examples . You don’t want to copy these word for word, but they can give you inspiration. Think about recent weddings you’ve attended and what you liked about these real wedding vows . Consider TV shows and movies and draw inspiration from those as well. The beauty is that inspiration can be found anywhere. 

You’ll also want to look at traditional wedding vows along with more modern takes. By reading a variety of styles, you may develop new ideas for crafting your own vows.

3. Make Several Drafts

Once you have an idea of where you want your vows to go, it’s time to make a rough draft. The first time you put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard!) might feel tricky but try not to focus too much on perfection. The important thing is to get your ideas on paper. 

After the first draft is done, take some time off. This will allow you to avoid writer’s block and give you time to think about the wording. When you’re ready, revisit the document or create an entirely new draft. Compare the two and make updates where you see fit. Continue creating or updating the drafts until you’re happy with what you’ve written.

4. Don’t Be Afraid to Be Sentimental

Wedding Vows Invitation

Design: Erika Firm

Some couples might hesitate to be sentimental because they feel it comes across as inauthentic or too sweet. But whether you’re writing funny marriage vows or romantic wedding vows , there’s nothing wrong with incorporating warm and loving sentiments.

Phrases like “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you,” “I promise to love and cherish you for the rest of my days ,” and “The best days of my life are the ones I’ve spent with you” hit differently on a wedding day . They’re sure to bring tears of joy and express the depths of your love and devotion.

5. Practice Your Vows Out Loud

As they say, practice makes perfect. The best wedding vows are those that people take the time to write and practice. Before the official vow exchange , practice in front of the mirror or with your best friend . 

Read the vows out loud, taking time to jot down notes or changes along the way. While you practice, work on your timing, paying attention to pauses and transitions. You may also want to write down notes and reminders where you want to take a small pause.

6. Get Input From Loved Ones

Man reading his wedding vow to his girlfriend

While you can certainly write your wedding vows all on your own, some people find it helpful to seek advice from friends and family. Ask someone you trust for ideas or to review what you’ve already written. You can also ask your wedding officiant or wedding planner to review your vows and offer feedback. 

7. Consider Keeping Your Vows a Secret From Your Partner

Your vows can be a beautiful surprise for your partner. If you prefer, keep them a secret until the big day for the biggest impact. You’ll love watching your partner react to your words as you join together and start your new journey.

8. Invest in a Vow Book

Romantic Floral Frame Invitation

Design: Claudia Owen

A vow book is a lovely keepsake that adds formality to your promises. These little books will protect your vows long after the wedding day . If you don’t want a vow book, use nice stationery instead. 

At the very least, print a copy of your vows before the big day — without scribbles or edits — for a more formal presentation. Some couples may also opt to read vows from their smartphone. However, we love the tradition of the written word, even for a modern wedding . 

Create Vows That Wow

Writing wedding vows can be intimidating, but these tips will guide you through the creative process. Once you learn how to write wedding vows , you can find the right words to say and share them in a way that reflects your unique love story .

With Greenvelope, digital invitations are just one part of your full wedding stationery suite. You can easily customize wedding save the dates , rehearsal dinner invites, thank you cards, and more.

For more wedding planning help, continue browsing our wedding guides . You’ll find everything from wedding etiquette tips to budget breakdowns and ideas to make all your wedding day dreams come true. 

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what paper should i write my vows on

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How to Write Wedding Vows: 12 Tips and Examples

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Hannah Yang

image of two people exchanging rings

Table of Contents

How long should wedding vows be, tips on how to write wedding vows, wedding vow examples, template for wedding vows, conclusion on writing the perfect wedding vows.

Writing your wedding vows can be one of the most daunting parts of planning your wedding.

After all, it’s hard to find the right words to tell your partner how much you love them without sounding trite or cliché. And to add to the pressure, you have to deliver this speech in front of all your family and friends.

So, how do you write the perfect wedding vows?

Read on to learn our top tips for writing your own vows, along with examples of what great wedding vows can look like.

Most wedding vows are between one to three minutes long.

If your vows are shorter than one minute, you might not have enough time to say everything you want to express. On the other hand, if your vows run longer than three minutes, you might bore your audience and lose their attention.

That’s why one to three minutes is often the perfect sweet spot. However, this isn’t a hard rule. You and your partner can decide exactly how much time you want to allot for vows while you’re planning the wedding ceremony.

Without further ado, here are our top 12 expert tips on how to write your wedding vows.

Tip 1: Start With a Brain Dump

You probably have a lot of ideas already about why you want to marry your partner. Start by jotting down all those ideas.

wedding vows brainstorming

This list should include your favorite things about your spouse. Why do you love them? What makes them special?

It should also include your favorite memories from your relationship together. How did you meet? What was your first date like? Do you have any funny stories about things you’ve done together?

You should also include all your hopes and promises for the future. What do you want your marriage to look like, and how will you do your part to make that happen?

Don’t worry if you end up with a long, messy list—that’s the whole point of a brain dump. Once you get these ideas out of your brain and onto paper, you can start the process of sorting through them to figure out what’s worth including.

Tip 2: Pick Your Best Ideas

Once you’ve completed your brain dump, it’s time to pick the best elements and discard the others. Look for things that are sweet, funny, or specific to you and your partner.

Remember that the best wedding vows are short and sweet. Trying to cram in too many disparate ideas will just overwhelm and confuse the audience.

Instead, it’s better to choose a few key points so each part of your speech has enough time and space to make an impact.

Tip 3: Read Examples

It’s hard to write wedding vows if you don’t know what they’re supposed to look like. So the next step is to look at examples of other wedding vows to get a better sense of what you should be aiming for.

Try reading a large variety of them so you can pick the style that suits your own wedding vows best. For example, you might want to look at a few funny vows, a few serious vows, and a few sentimental vows.

Reading these vows on paper is helpful, but it’s also useful to look for videos so you can see what these vows sound like in action. YouTube is a great place to start.

Tip 4: Find Inspiration in Your Favorite Books, Songs, and Movies

Not every sentence in your vows has to be original. You’re free to make references to other sources, especially if they’re ones that are meaningful to you and your partner.

Books, movies, and songs can be a fantastic source of inspiration for your vows. You can consider including a lyric from a song that you and your spouse both love or a line from a movie you watched together.

Tip 5: Get Specific

The more specific you can get with the things you describe in your vows, the more memorable your vows will be.

A specific sentence like, “I love you because you do the crossword with me every Sunday morning” is stronger than a generic sentence like, “I love you because you’re smart.”

Similarly, a specific sentence like, “I love you because you always make me hot chocolate when I’m stressed” is stronger than a generic sentence like, “I love you because you’re kind.”

Try to think of concrete, unique stories or traits you can use to make your speech more special.

Tip 6: Choose Promises You Can Keep

Given the romance of your wedding day, it can be tempting to make grandiose promises that turn out to be difficult to keep.

Using words like “always” and “never” is a surefire way to set yourself up for failure. Try to use language that shows how strong your commitment is without setting an impossible standard for yourself.

For example, “I promise to listen with an open mind” is a more achievable promise than, “I promise to never argue with you.” Doing this can help you start your marriage on the right foot and try to honor the vows you’ve made.

Tip 7: Include Some Humor

There’s no better feeling than making your spouse smile during your wedding ceremony.

Adding some lighthearted humor into your vows can be a fun way to lighten the mood. You can share a funny anecdote about your spouse or include a joke or two throughout your speech.

Try not to use too many inside jokes, because you might confuse the rest of the audience. Instead, either provide enough context to explain the inside joke, or stick with humor that lets everyone laugh along.

Tip 8: Edit, Edit, Edit

It takes more than one draft to write the perfect essay, blog post, or short story. The same is true for wedding vows.

Even if you’re proud of your first draft, you’ll still need to do some serious editing to get your vows ready for the wedding day. Revise as many times as it takes to create vows you are happy with.

Tip 9: Note Your Pauses and Intonations

Writing a speech is different from writing other types of prose. Nobody will see your commas, semicolons, or exclamation points—instead, they’ll hear them.

You can write cues for yourself, such as “pause here” or “wait for laughter,” within your vows. It will be much easier to read your vows well if you know how you’re supposed to say them.

Tip 10: Practice Out Loud

In addition to editing your vows on paper, you should also practice reading your vows out loud.

Sufficient practice can ensure you don’t get too nervous on your wedding day.

You can also time yourself on your practice runs to make sure your vows are the right length. That way, you won’t delay your wedding ceremony by writing vows that are too long or speed things along too much by writing vows that are too short.

Tip 11: Ask for Feedback

When you’re just editing your vows on your own, you might not know which parts to change to make your vows even stronger. That’s why it’s crucial to ask for feedback before your wedding day.  

It’s best not to ask for feedback from your spouse so you can surprise them with your vows on the day of the wedding. Instead, choose a trusted friend or family member.

You might feel vulnerable asking someone to listen to you practicing your vows, but just remember you’ll be reading these vows in front of hundreds of people soon. It’s better to mess up in front of one person than in front of hundreds.

Tip 12: Don’t Procrastinate

Waiting until the day before your wedding to write your vows is a surefire way to stress yourself out. The more time pressure you put on yourself, the harder the process will be.

We recommend starting at least a week in advance. It’s better if you start even earlier than that, if possible, since the week leading up to your wedding might be packed with other planning activities.

Here are some sample wedding vows you can use as inspiration when you start writing your own wedding vows.

Romantic Wedding Vows

Example 1 : I’m so lucky to be with you. You’re the kindest, smartest, and most caring person I’ve ever met. You’re the person I want to spend the rest of forever with. From this day forward, I vow to support your dreams, to always be there when you need me, and to celebrate all the joys of life with you.

Example 2 : I’ve spent my whole life looking for my other half. And for so long, I never realized he was right here in front of me. Being with you makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world. I promise to stay by your side through all of life’s adventures because you’ll always be my best friend.

Example 3 : I promise to love you in sickness and in health, in good and in bad. And honestly, that’s the easiest promise I’ve ever made. As soon as we started dating, I knew I was going to love you no matter what happened. Now I’m just making it official in front of all our family and friends.

Funny Wedding Vows

Example 4 : I fell in love with you because you’re funny, you’re sweet, and you have great taste in TV shows. From this day forward, I promise not to watch the next episode of our favorite Netflix series without telling you. Or at least, I promise to pretend it’s the first time I’m seeing it when we watch it together.

Example 5 : Thank you for loving me, even though my long hair clogs the shower drain, and you’re always the one who cleans it. I promise to clean it after we’re married. Just kidding, we both know that’s never going to happen. But I do promise to kill all the spiders in our house, so it balances out.

Example 6 : On our very first date, you ordered Hawaiian pizza, and I almost walked out. (To those in the audience who don’t know me, I hate pineapple on pizza!) But now, three years later, I’m so glad I stayed. For the rest of our lives, I promise to always let you have the last slice of pizza. Unless it’s Hawaiian pizza, in which case, you can have it all to yourself.

Religious Wedding Vows

Example 7 : When we first started dating, I prayed to God for a sign to ask you to marry me. And when He gave me that sign, you made me the happiest person on Earth by saying yes. You’re my soulmate, the answer to all of my prayers, and the most precious gift God has ever given me. I vow to love you and cherish you for the rest of our lives.

Example 8 : As the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Example 9 : I take you to be my husband/wife, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, according to God’s holy vow. I will cherish you as I cherish Christ, follow you the way I follow Christ, and guide you the way Christ guides me. Today, I pledge myself to you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. In His sight, we shall be one.

what paper should i write my vows on

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Traditional Wedding Vows

Example 10 : Today, surrounded by all our loved ones, I take you as my husband/wife, to have and to hold, until death do us part. I will be yours alone for as long as we both shall live.

Example 11 : I, [your name], take you, [partner’s name], to be my husband/wife. I promise to love you for better or worse, in sickness and health, for rich or poorer, until death do us part.

Example 12 : In front of all these witnesses, I promise to be your loving and faithful husband/wife. I will love and honor you all the days of our lives.

There’s no right or wrong way to write wedding vows. This is your wedding, and you get to make the rules!

Still, there are some elements that most wedding vows include. Here’s a wedding vow template you can use as starting point.

Step 1. Declare Your Love

This is one of the most important parts of your wedding vows. It’s always good to include the words “I love you” early in the speech.

Tell your partner why you love them and why you’ve decided to spend the rest of your life with them.

Don’t be afraid that people will laugh at you for expressing your heartfelt feelings. If there’s one speech in your life where it’s okay to get a little too sappy and sentimental, this is it.

Step 2. Share Some Stories About Your Relationship

One great way to make your vows feel personal and special is by telling stories about your relationship so far.

You can choose funny stories that will make your spouse laugh or vulnerable stories that show how far you’ve come together.

Step 3. Describe Your Vision for the Future

Take a moment to talk about what you want your life with your partner to look like.

Where do you want to live? Do you want to have children, and if so, how many? What do you envision your life looking like in ten, twenty, or fifty years?

This can be a sweet moment within the wedding ceremony where you and your partner look toward the future together and create a shared vision.

Step 4. Make Promises

The reason marriage vows are called “vows” is because of the promises you’re vowing to keep.

What promises do you want to make to your spouse? How can you make sure they feel loved and supported for the rest of your lives together?

Choosing the right promises can create a strong foundation for your marriage if you make your best effort to keep them.

Step 5. Acknowledge the Audience Members

At the end of your vows, it can be a great idea to acknowledge the friends and family who have taken the time to attend your wedding ceremony.

You can mention how much you’ll appreciate their support throughout your marriage, or you can simply thank them for coming. This can be a good moment for connection and shared joy with the people you love.  

There you have it—our complete guide for writing wedding vows. Hopefully this article helps you write the perfect vows for your big day.

Good luck, and have a wonderful wedding!

Hannah is a speculative fiction writer who loves all things strange and surreal. She holds a BA from Yale University and lives in Colorado. When she’s not busy writing, you can find her painting watercolors, playing her ukulele, or hiking in the Rockies. Follow her work on hannahyang.com or on Twitter at @hannahxyang.

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Wedding Vows Outline

Tips for writing wedding vows, how to start wedding vows, words ending in vow, ways to personalize wedding vows, wedding vows template, wedding vows examples.

  • Wedding Party & Reception

How to Write Wedding Vows (Examples And Template)

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moniquehesslerweddings via instagram

Have you and your fiance decided to write your own wedding vows? Are you unsure of how to get started? The following article will discuss how to write wedding vows. As well, we will provide you with examples of different types of wedding vows.

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Brides Often Ask

What are wedding vows.

They are a lifetime pledge to commit your heart and your life fully to your partner. You can use traditional vows or compose your own and speak from the heart.

Who says vows first – man or woman?

Traditionally, the groom will say his vows first. But the bride can go first or both can say the vows in unison. The order is not as important as the spoken vow itself. However, it is important to decide whom will go first before the ceremony, to avoid any awkwardness.

How Long Should Wedding Vows Be?

That is a very good question. Of course, you want to be able to express your love for your partner and you could probably go on for hours. However, it is wise to keep your vows to around two minutes max.

The wedding ceremony itself will probably run around thirty minutes including the blessing, the ring ceremony, etc. So both you and your partner should take about 2 minutes each for your vows to keep with the pace of the ceremony. Remember, you will have the rest of your lives together to express your love.

step step writing wedding vows his her

blue_note_weddings via Instagram

When composing your wedding vows, the first thing to remember is that you should speak from the heart. However, trying to put this on paper might be challenging for some. Following is a guide for wedding vow structure to you overcome your fears and doubts. Keep in mind that this is a guide and you can alter it to make it more personal.

  • Take a look back at your relationship

You can start with words that capture the beautiful memories of your relationship.

Example: “I know this is true because the moment you walked up to me on the beach that day, you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen!”
  • Share sentimental qualities

Express the good qualities you always see in your partner.

Example: “There are too many qualities to mention. You are extremely thoughtful,with you, every day is special. You keep me on my toes with your happy-go-lucky attitude.”
  • “I love you because…”

Express the reasons why you love your partner.

Example: “I love you because you make me laugh even when I’m sad. You don’t dare leave me even when I’m mad.”
  • Make a few promises

In conclusion, recite your promises to your partner.

Example: “I, Brian, take you, Caitlin, to be my wife. “To love forever, as long as I have breath. To be yours as long as we shall live.”

50 Best Wedding Readings For Your Ceremony

50 Best Wedding Readings For Your Ceremony

When writing your own wedding vows, you must structure them in a way that flows seamlessly. See the ultimate wedding vow tips below.

  • Begin by stating what your partner means to you Name what they represent in your life. They could be a lover, friend, confidant, and all.
  • State what it is you love most about them Why did you decide to spend forever with your partner? What’s that trait(s) that turns you on and assures you that you’ve chosen right?
  • Tell a story Bring this love to life by illustrating it in a story. A memorable personal and intimate story you can’t forget.
  • Make promises and personalize them Promise your spouse that you’ll always be with them. Be specific about the things you hope to do with your spouse. Learn the art of personalizing wedding vows by throwing in some humor or romance.
  • Reassure and show eagerness to the future Promise your partner once again that you’ll be there no matter what life brings. Remind them that you are ready to walk into the future with them. Tell them that you have a lot of wins to experience together.
  • Wrap up with one last promise about never parting till death.

step step writing wedding vows lettering bride

siempreweddings via Instagram

If you are still unsure how to start wedding vows, remember that you are speaking to the person with whom you are spending the rest of your life. Sure, your friends and family will hear you exchange your vows. But they are really only for you and your fiancé. Start off by telling them how much they mean to you. If you are both enjoy humor, you can start off with a joke, or include a funny story of you as a couple. Keep it personal and to the point.

Sara, we have known each other since we were toddlers. Our parents used to joke about us getting married, but we both thought they were crazy. Then one day, in our teens, I fell in love with you. And I knew at that moment that they were right.

step-step-writing-wedding vows bride groom long time

kreativwedding via Instagram

Still, unsure of what you want to say in your vows to make them stand out? You could always include words ending in a vow. “I make this my solemn vow” “Today I pledge my love to you in this sacred vow.” This will help give you some inspiration to use as a starting point.

Connor, I today I pledge my love eternal. I will love you every second of every day. My every thought shall be of you and our life together. I will love you until the day I die. Let this be my solemn vow!

step step writing wedding vows lettering for him

Personalizing wedding vows is perhaps one of the best ways to make your vows memorable. You don’t just want to ramble on endlessly or sound as though you are reciting a rehearsed speech. Again, the key to writing your own wedding vows is to speak from your heart.

Following are some ways you can personalize your wedding vows. Don’t be afraid to be happy if you are a hopeless romantic. But we have also included some examples of non-sappy wedding vows quotes for him .

  • Use humor: Start off with a funny story from your relationship, maybe about how you met. Again, you don’t want to embarrass your partner so if you are not sure whether they want you to share a certain story, you should ask them first.
  • Use song lyrics: Do the two of you have a certain song that symbolizes your relationship? You can quote a line or two from that song in your vows and explain the significance of the lyrics.
  • Use movie (or television) quotes: Are you both a fan of romantic movies? Do you have a favorite movie quote that sums up your relationship or is meaningful to you as a couple? Incorporate this into your vows. If you can’t think of a movie, you can quote a line from your favorite television show as a couple.
  • Use literature: Are either of you poetry buffs? Quote a few lines from your favorite love poem. Or recite a passage from your favorite novel. Just make sure that is the line that your partner will understand.

If you are still stuck, you can search for vow quotes online, or paraphrase one of the examples we have provided in this article for inspiration.

I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.

11 Wedding Ceremony Outlines (Bonus: Free Templates)

11 Wedding Ceremony Outlines (Bonus: Free Templates)

step step writing wedding vows bride groom reading

Look at this wedding vows template-free as a simple guideline, not as rules set in stone.

1. What marriage means to you

Think about what marriage means to you, the reason you have chosen to be with this person, and put it in words. You can include your favorite line from a song, poem, or book.

2. Reference your relationship

Look back on your relationship and the important moments and milestones that you had together. Perhaps the first time you met, your first kiss or first fight. Or even the moment you knew that your partner was the one. Incorporate this in your vows.

3. Be sentimental

This is where you really get in touch with your feelings. Talk about the great qualities of your partner that bring out the best in you, and how this matches with your qualities. Compliment your partner like never before.

4. “I Love You Because…”

This is a great phrase to start this part of your vows with. Here you can indicate all of the reasons you love your partner. All the reasons you have chosen to spend forever with them.

5. Make the promises

Whether it’s serious, funny, or sentimental. You know the promises you are making to your partner. End your vows by reciting these promises and promising that they will be forever.

ste step writing wedding vows intimate bride groom

Traditional Wedding Vow Template

The timeless nature of traditional wedding vows makes them sturdy templates across races, cultures, and beliefs. See some examples below.

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wife/husband; to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish always
In the presence of God and these our friends, I take thee to be my wife/husband, promising with divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband/wife so long as we both shall live.
I vow you the first cut of my meat, the first sip of my wine, from this day it shall only your name I cry out in the night and into your eyes that I smile each morning; I shall be a shield for your back as you are for mine, not shall a grievous word be spoken about us, for our marriage is sacred between us and no stranger shall hear my grievance. Above and beyond this, I will cherish and honor you through this life and into the next.

Funny Surprise Wedding Vows

For funny surprise wedding vows, take your partner totally unawares. Give a hint of stories you’d likely share and see that it’s okay by them. But think outside the box and add some humor. Make them laugh while telling them they mean the world to you.

I promise not to hog the remote control or force you to watch chick flicks unless I then agree to watch an action movie in exchange.
Dear _____, I promise to put the toilet seat down, listen to gossip about the neighbors and not ignore you when the Lakers are playing.
I promise not to hide when your parents come over. I vow not to steal the covers at night and not to turn the heat up too high

Wedding Vows For A Long-Term Relationship

Writing wedding vows for a long-term relationship can be quite overwhelming. For whatever reasons both of you waited to get married, your love sustained you. Your love brought you this far and it’s one to celebrate. Talks about the highs and lows, the wins, and how much you’re meant to be. Make promises to stay together forever. The same goes for anniversaries. How far you’ve come is a reason to celebrate.

Today marks 50 years since we first said: “I do.” We built a home together, raised our children and watched them raise theirs. We laughed, we cried, and we survived many hurdles together as a couple. As I look into your eyes, I still see the young man who was quite scared to ask me to the movies. I am so glad I said yes then and I will continue to say yes for the rest of our lives!
We have been together through thick and thin. We started dating in high school, stayed together while we both attended separate colleges, and then spend a year pursuing our careers. Now, we are finally joining our lives together to live out everything we have planned for years. It was worth the wait because we are going to have the perfect marriage and spend the rest of our days together as husband and wife.

Wedding Vows For Him

Whether you’re learning how to make wedding vows or you’re getting inspired by a source, personalize it. Pick out something that relays your message while representing the bare essence of your love. Our wedding vows examples are the perfect template. Use as s or modify to suit.

I vow to make my life forever yours and build my dreams around you.
Dear _____, I promise to be the man that I see now in your eyes, today, tomorrow, and for always.
I vow to always protect you from harm, to stand with you against your troubles, and look to you when I need protection

Wedding Vows For Her

It’s your wedding and you want to serenade your partner with a vow that’s unforgettable. Take inspiration from books, literature, movies, or just cook up yours. It’s also fine to get sentimental without sounding cheesy. Bottom line is to make it come straight from the heart. The examples below will inspire you.

I promise to laugh with you and to laugh at myself.
You are the love of my life and I am proud to marry you. I promise to support your dreams and to be there for you for all eternity.
I vow to be a loving and devoted wife, without judgment, without scorn, but always with an open heart and mind

We hope that you have found some inspiration and guidance with our advice on how to write wedding vows. Remember, these are your wedding vows so don’t let anyone else influence you. Speak from the heart and you will be fine!

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Everything You Need to Know About Writing Your Own Vows

Single post , wedding tips.

January 23, 2019

book for writing your own vows

If there’s one wedding task you’re putting off until the last moment, it’s probably writing your own vows!

Handwritten vows are a faaavorite part of any wedding for me. The best of them let you get to know the couple’s love story, you laugh, you cry, you feel encouraged. Amazing. It really sets the tone for the rest of the day.

On the other hand.. vows that have been poorly thought out, are at best forgettable and at worst, down right awkward! So, with that said, here are some Do’s and Don’ts for writing your own vows!

Tips for Writing Your Own Vows

Don’ts.

1. Don’t try to be overly eloquent or flowery- speak from the heart (with note cards of course!)

2. Avoid too many inside jokes or obscure references- your guests will be lost! This also goes for intensely personal details… save it for later!

3. No rambling! Keep your vows succinct for maximum impact. About 1-3 minutes is good.

4. Reading your vows off your phone is tacky. Come on people! Just write it on a piece of paper.. or if you must, type it up and print it out.

6. No hyperbole. Do you really intend to keep your wedding vows? Let’s start by making promises we can actually keep or strive to keep. “I promise to treat you like a goddess every waking hour of our lives together!” Really? Try instead; “to work to love you better for the rest of our lives and put your needs before my own’ See? Promises you can actually keep.. or strive to!

1. Agree on a format and have an outline to follow when composing your vows. If you and your fiance are writing your vows separately, give each other a quick guideline of approx. how long your vows are going to be, and what general format they’ll follow. For example; An Intro, 6 I promise statements, and a conclusion. You can even write part of the vows together.

2. Agree on tone.. it’s gonna be pretty awkward if one of you is all ‘you are my sun moon and stars and I can’t imagine my life without you’, and the other is like.. ‘I promise to let you choose what we watch on Netflix..’

3. Work with your officiant. Even if you do decide to do traditional vows, you might be able to research marriage vows from your own faith tradition to use during your ceremony. You can also use handwritten vows in conjunction with traditional vows.

4. Once written, read through your vows out loud several times. You don’t need to memorize them, but you should get comfortable. Reading the vows out loud will give you a sense of whether or not it sounds natural and if you should edit anything.

bride and groom writing your own wedding vows

I hope you found these tips helpful! Are you writing your own vows? I’d love to hear about it in the comment section!

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The Complete Guide to Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

Author: Hollie Bond

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Personalised wedding vows are the quickest way to make your ceremony special and unique. Here’s how to write the most meaningful words you’re ever likely to utter

In the midst of all the venue choosing, cake tasting and  wedding dress shopping it can be easy to forget to spend time on the smaller, but just as key, parts of the big day.

When you boil a wedding down to the basics though, the ceremony – and especially the wedding vows – really are the single most important part of the day. After all, that’s the moment you go from being an engaged couple to actually being married! If you want to make sure this highlight of the wedding is as special and personalised as possible, it’s a good idea to consider writing your own marriage vows.

A good question to ask yourselves is: when you read through the set wording for wedding vows given to you by  your officiant , do they feel personal to you? Do they sum up how you feel about getting married to your partner? Chances are that they don’t. To help you get started when it comes to writing vows that aren’t too cheesy and over the top, but full of heartfelt sentiment and eloquent expressions of your feelings, we’ve rounded up some examples from previous couples and have all the top tips to make your wedding vows as unique as your relationship.

Wedding Vow Tempate

To help you write your own wedding vows, we’ve compiled a step-by-step template to frame your promises to your partner in a beautiful way during your wedding ceremony.

Step one: Say “I love you”

It sounds simple but this is the crux of the matter and all too often that simple sentence can be missed out when couples are writing their own vows.

Step two: Share an anecdote

An anecdote or special story that shows how and why you love and value your partner to family and friends. It can be something simple that shows an admirable trait of their character or perhaps the story of how you met and knew they were the one. Short stories like these will make your vows really interesting for your guests too.

Step three: Explain that you’re in the relationship for the long haul.

This is similar to the “in sickness and in health” and “til death do us part” of the traditional religious wedding vows, but you can frame it in a more suitable way for you. Talk about how your wedding day is just the beginning of an exciting journey that you can’t wait to go on with your partner. Phrases like “I will love you unconditionally for the rest of my life”, “I promise to stand by your side”, “I can’t wait to make a life together” and “I can’t wait to grow old with you” work well here.

Step four: Make your promises.

The promises are an area you’ll really want to focus on when you write your own wedding vows. As well as the promise to love your partner from this day forward you might want to think about some more specific and unique promises that make your relationship special (think about inside jokes like “I vow to always get rid of wasps for you because I know you’re mortally afraid of them”.

You may want to come up with a list that starts each time with “I promise to always…” followed by the sentiment. You can then follow this with a list that starts “I promise to never”… Examples for this section include: “I promise to be patient and forgiving”; “I promise to cherish you”; “I promise to encourage you”; “I promise to support you”; “I promise to respect you” etc.

Step five: Open your vows out to include your family and friends.

The best personalised wedding vows acknowledge that it’s not just about you and your best friend on this wedding day and that it takes a lot more people to make a marriage a success. Mentioning that you’ll rely on the help and support of your loved ones is a beautiful way to make your guests feel included in what can otherwise be a very personal moment between the two of you.

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Expert Tips For Writing Your Own Vows

1. make sure your partner is on board.

Make sure you’ve spoken to your fiancé or fiancée about your desire to write your own wedding vows, as it will look odd one of you going with the traditional wedding vows while the other doesn’t. If your partner feels uncomfortable about saying personalised wedding vows in front of guests, think about writing letters to each other on the morning of the wedding instead, or perhaps you could do a speech at the wedding breakfast  where you include the content you wanted to put in the vows.

2. Know The Rules

While there is a lot of freedom to talk openly and honestly about your love for one another in your vows, there are still  some rules you have to follow  to ensure they are legally binding.

The first is that at a civil ceremony you are not allowed to include any religious references in the words at all. It depends how strict your registrar is, but some don’t allow words like “angel” and you won’t be able to say things like “I thank God every day that he sent you to me” or “in the presence of God” etc.

3. Include The Official Wording

The only other thing that you legally have to take into account is making sure you “solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, (name), may not be joined in matrimony to (name)”. Your registrar will advise on when and where in the vows these statements need to be included though.

4. Start Early

Much like a speech, the earlier you start writing or at least brainstorming your vows, the better.

Trying to come up with heartfelt words in the panic of the week before the wedding is not going to result in your finest work! Search for examples to help you come up with a structure (see some ideas below) and jot down ideas as and when they come into your head.

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5. Take Inspiration From Better Writers

Writing not your forte? Don’t panic, because putting pen to paper can be daunting for a lot of people and sometimes it’s impossible to convey your feelings in simple words.

The good news is that some people are the exact opposite and manage to sum up the most intense emotions in an exquisitely beautiful way. So look to your favourite poets, authors, lyricists and scriptwriters for inspiration. Borrow a line or two from them that shows your other half exactly how important marrying them is.

6. Quote From Wedding Vow Examples Or Pieces Of Romantic Writing

Here are some of our favourites, from famous writers – hankies at the ready!

“As soon as I saw you, I knew a grand adventure was about to happen. Any day spent with you is my favourite day. So, today is my new favourite day.” – Winnie The Pooh, A.A. Milne
“A soul mate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be.” – The Bridge Across Forever, Richard Bach
“I will love you forever; whatever happens. Till I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I’ll drift about forever, all my atoms, till I find you again… I’ll be looking for you, every moment, every single moment. And when we do find each other again, we’ll cling together so tight that nothing and no one’ll ever tear us apart. 
Every atom of me and every atom of you… We’ll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams… And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me, we’ll be joined so tight…” – The Amber Spyglass, Philip Pullman
“I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.” – The Notebook, Nicholas Sparks
“I revere you. I esteem and admire you above all human beings. You are the friend to whom my soul is attached as to its better half. You are the most amiable, the most perfect of women. And you are dearer to me than language has the power of telling… You are now all my own… How will my soul find room for its happiness? It seems already bursting!” – Evelina, Frances Burney
“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.” – Blue-Eyed Devil, Lisa Kleypas
“I come here with no expectations, only to profess, now that I am at liberty to do so, that my heart is and always will be yours.” – Sense and Sensibility, Jane Austen
“You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. And wish from this day forth never to be parted from you.” – Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
“You are sunlight through a window, which I stand in, warmed. My darling.” – The Miniaturist, Jessie Burton
“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” – Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë
“Do I love you? My god, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches.” – The Princess Bride, William Goldman
“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you directly without problems or pride: I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love, except in this form in which I am not nor are you, so close that your hand upon my chest is mine, so close that your eyes close with my dreams.” – Sonnet XVII, Cien Sonetos de Amor, Pablo Neruda “My bounty is as boundless as the sea, My love as deep; the more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite.” – Romeo and Juliet, by William Shakespeare
“I’ve never had a moment’s doubt. I love you. I believe in you completely. You are my dearest one. My reason for life.” – Atonement, Ian McEwan
“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depths and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight for the ends of being and idea grace.” – How Do I Love Thee? Sonnet 43, Elizabeth Barrett Browning
“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” – When Harry Met Sally, Nora Ephron
“So this is love, so this is what makes life divine. I’m all aglow and now I know the key to all heaven is mine. My heart has wings and I can fly, I’ll touch the star in every sky. So this is the miracle that I’ve been dreaming of. So this is love.” – Cinderella, Disney

Perfect for same-sex marriage vows:

“What is straight? A line can be straight, or a street, but the human heart, oh, no, it’s curved like a road through mountains.” – A Streetcar Named Desire, Tennessee Williams

7. Don’t Over-Promise

Yes, you’ll be feeling overwhelming love for your soon-to-be wife or husband at this most emotional of times, but don’t get carried away with outlandish promises and over-the-top sentiments that you can’t maintain in everyday life. Promising to cook for them every day or promising to be a perfect wife or husband might sound romantic, but they are completely unrealistic.

8. Write From The Heart

Write about how you feel on a daily basis about your partner, not just on your wedding day. A list of special and personal promises is a lovely way to structure your speech.

9. Keep The Vows Short And Sweet

Just like wedding speeches , the key to successful vows is keeping them short, and memorable. Your registrar might impose a limit anyway, but you only need to say a few lines of carefully composed words to make a real impact here. Time yourself saying them – one- or two-minutes max is ideal.

10. Don’t Make Your Guests Cringe

Err on the side of caution when it comes to being gushy and cheesy. Think about what you’re trying to say and then tone it down a bit if it comes across as over effusive or cringe-worthy. You can always whisper those sentiments to your new wife or husband during your first dance or in bed that night!

11. Make Sure Your Registrar or Celebrant Has Approved Your Words First

When you’re happy with your final draft, email it to your registrar to approve and check that it follows the rules. If you’re having a celebrant , it can be a good idea to send to them too, so they can understand the sort of tone you’re hoping to create during your wedding (if you’ve written funny wedding vows are funny for example, they’ll want to reflect this vibe too).

12. Practise Saying The Words Out Loud

Practise saying your vows over and over. Saying your vows out loud can help you to iron out any strange sentence structure or parts that don’t quite come across as you’d hoped. It’ll also really help on the day when you’re feeling emotional, as your brain will remember what words are coming next.

13. Keep Your Wedding Vows A Secret

You’ll want the first time your partner hears your vows to be at the wedding ceremony so make sure to keep them stored somewhere he or she isn’t likely to find them.

14. Make A Fresh Copy For The Ceremony

You don’t want to be reading off a flimsy coffee-stained piece of paper. Write your vows on a clean piece of paper or consider having vow books or some other special way of presenting them.

15. Turn Your Vows Into A Keepsake

You’ll want to remember your vows for the rest of your married lives, so consider having them immortalised into a beautiful gift that you can give to your new spouse after the wedding (or perhaps on your first anniversary as a paper gift – see more wedding anniversary gift ideas here). There are lots of lovely ideas from prints for your house to cufflinks and handkerchiefs.

If you’re staring at a blank page wondering how on earth to start writing your vows, it can really help to look at some examples from former brides and grooms for inspiration. Here are some beautiful vow examples from  real weddings  that will help inspire you to write your own heartfelt sentiments.

Hollie Bond

Hollie is a lifestyle journalist with over ten years’ experience working in the wedding industry as Lifestyle Editor for You & Your Wedding magazine Also a Regional Editor for Muddy Stilettos, Hollie has written for Square Meal magazine, Family History Monthly, BBC History magazine and Homes & Antiques. In her spare time you can find Hollie in a dance studio practising ballet…

Learn more about Hollie Bond

Should We Write Our Own Vows? How to Know if It's Right For You

Sure, personal vows might sound super-romantic, but they're not for everyone. Here's how to decide if you should write your own vows or not.

Sweetly Photography

Sure, catering, décor, and dancing might be what makes it feel like a wedding, but the vows you exchange with your partner are what make it actually a wedding. You can’t get married without vows! (For all intents and purposes, anyway). But how to know if you should write your own vows or go with some old classics? It really depends on your personal preference and comfort level—and whatever you choose should be your choice, not someone else’s.

If you and your partner are pondering the question “should we write our own vows?”, here are a few questions to ask yourself.

Do you love writing.

When thinking about if you should write your own vows, having a creative side and experience writing (extra points if you really love it!) make a huge difference. Maybe the idea of reading someone else’s words makes your skin crawl, maybe the idea of writing your own vows sounds worse than getting a cavity filled. Writing vows is a deeply expressive and creative endeavor and while you definitely don’t need to be “good” at writing or a “professional” to write amazing vows, the process of writing and performing them in front of dozens of people will be a lot more enjoyable if you vibed with the process and are proud of the result.

Are you comfortable reading your words in public?

This question goes hand-in-hand with the one above—even if you love writing, you might hate reading your words aloud in front of people . That’s a whole ‘nother ball game for most writers and creatives, so you’re not crazy if you feel this way. If the idea of standing before your guests and reading your most intense and personal emotions out loud makes you feel squeamish, you may wish to go for pre-written vows (you can even inject a few of your own sentences throughout to personalize it!). Reading words that are not your own can significantly cut down on the fear factor (because it won’t feel like you’re pouring out your heart and soul) and help you stay focused and grounded. If you love the idea of writing your own vows but not necessarily performing them, recite them in private to your partner the night before your wedding, then opt for traditional vows during the ceremony.

Are you a traditionalist?

If you’ve always dreamed of a classic wedding with all the pomp and circumstance, creative vows might not give you the payoff you seek. While handwritten vows have a romance and personality all their own, traditional vows have a certain gravitas that wedding traditionalists will find very special. If you’re opting in to every other wedding tradition (e.g., not seeing your spouse until you reach the altar and walking down the aisle to Canon in D ) classic vows are probably right for you. They will feel like the “real deal” to you while fitting in perfectly with your classic wedding style.

Do you have the time?

A big part of deciding if you should write your own vows comes down to timing. The process of writing your own vows should be an emotional and enjoyable experience. If you’re so swamped with wedding planning and the rest of your life you can barely find the time to put pen to paper, however, the process can feel like a chore, or even worse, like a last-minute project you have to cram into the night before your wedding . That’s not fair to you or your spouse-to-be! You simply will not be proud of your vows unless you give them the time and energy you deserve to give them (and your future spouse deserves to receive). If you’ve spent too much time constructing a donut wall and don’t have enough time to devote to writing your vows, go traditional—and add your own flair as needed. If you’re just starting your planning journey and want to avoid backing yourself into a last-minute corner when it comes to writing your vows, block out a few hours a week in the months leading up to your wedding to spend only working on your vows. You’ll be glad you did once the time comes!

Is your partner planning on writing his or hers?

It’s not a rule of thumb that if one of you opts for custom vows, the other must too, but it is something to think about. Your universal vows might feel out-of-place after your partner reads their handwritten ones. If one of you has a steadfast opinion on going handwritten vs. traditional, that could help decide what the other chooses. It will make for a more unified ceremony if you both make the same decision. And if you choose to go handwritten because one-half of you is really into the idea, you’re totally allowed to workshop your vows together to make sure you’re both feeling confident and comfortable when the big day comes. At the end of the day, what matters most is that you both get to do what feels best on your wedding day, and in the grand world of wedding planning, that usually entails working together and making compromises .

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what paper should i write my vows on

31 Wedding Vow Examples & Tips to Help You Get Yours Right

Wondering where to start with writing yours? These wedding vow examples are perfect for both modern and traditional couples

The moment you and your partner recite your wedding vows is (arguably!) the most significant in the wedding ceremony , as this is your declaration of love to one another, and is often seen as the 'official' part of the ceremony, along with the exchanging of rings or other religious symbols.

But when it comes to the type of vows for a wedding that you choose to recite, the options vary wildly. From traditional wedding vows used in religious ceremonies, to writing your own wedding vows for a completely bespoke service - the options are quite literally endless. 

So, do you go with tried and tested traditional wedding vows or choose something contemporary and modern? Should you write your own, or (*whisper*) get a professional to write them for you? If you write your own, where do you start? What do you say?

A Complete Guide to Wedding Vows: Examples & Writing Tips You Need to Hear

Don’t panic! We’ve put together a complete guide to wedding vows for you, which includes both modern and traditional wedding vows examples for you to browse, as well as expert tips on how to write your own wedding vows.

And for those who have already tied the knot but are still feeling loved up, some information on how much it costs to renew your wedding vows.

Yep, we've genuinely thought of everything!

What Are Wedding Vows?

Traditional wedding vows examples, real wedding vows examples, how to write your wedding vows, how much does it cost to renew wedding vows in the uk.

We hear the term all the time when talking about weddings, and specifically wedding ceremonies, but what are wedding vows and why are they so important?

Well, whether you are having a religious wedding ceremony with a traditional format to it, or you're hiring a wedding celebrant and going completely non-religious and bespoke, all weddings have one thing in common: the couples speak during the ceremony.

In the simplest of terms, the wedding vows are the words which a couple exchange during their wedding ceremony. For many religious wedding ceremonies, the traditional wedding vows play a really significant role in the consent and ring exchanging part of the wedding.

For non-religious wedding ceremonies, and celebrant-led celebrations, wedding vows are seen more as a declaration of love from one person to another, before their wedding is officiated. 

Types of Wedding Vows

As with wedding styles and structures, there are so many different types of wedding vows. For religious ceremonies following a traditional structure, there will be set wedding vows examples for you and your partner to recite, often with little personalisation.

Interfaith weddings often see two religions or cultures merging, and this usually includes a combination of traditional wedding vows intertwined together, along with different ring exchanging and ceremonial traditions being woven together. 

For non-religious weddings and those that are celebrant-led, couples have the flexibility to write their own wedding vows, or use traditional templates. 

If writing your own wedding vows and going off-script isn't your idea of fun, and you'd prefer to recite traditional wedding vows, below are some examples which suit a range of wedding styles and cultures.

As well as traditional wedding vow examples for weddings in different religions, there are also examples here for civil ceremony weddings and non-denominational examples for you to browse. 

Even if you are having a religious wedding, if you feel as though you want to add something into your ceremony, or personalise the vows slightly, we encourage you to speak to the officiant who is conducting your ceremony to go through your options. 

  • Church of England Traditional Wedding Vows Examples
  • Catholic Traditional Wedding Vows Examples
  • Hindu Traditional Wedding Vows Examples
  • Muslim Traditional Wedding Vows Examples
  • Jewish Traditional Wedding Vows Examples
  • Civil Ceremony Traditional Wedding Vows Examples
  • Non-Denominational Traditional Wedding Vows Examples

1. Church of England Wedding Vows

Church of England weddings involve a number of hymns and prayers before the vow exchanging ceremony begins. The vows also traditionally begin with the minister asking both the congregation and the couple a question.

"First, I am required to ask anyone present who knows a reason why these persons may not lawfully marry, to declare it now.

"The vows you are about to take are to be made in the presence of God, who is judge of all and knows all the secrets of our hearts; therefore if either of you knows a reason why you may not lawfully marry, you must declare it now.

"[Name], will you take [Name] to be your husband/wife? Will you love him/her, comfort him/her, honour and protect him/her, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him/her as long as you both shall live?

"Will you, the families and friends of [Name] and [Name], support and uphold them in their marriage now and in the years to come?"

More prayers are said, along with your chosen hymns and readings, before the exchanging of the vows below take place.

"I [Name] take you [Name] to be my husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow."

The minister will then say a prayer about the wedding rings and what they symbolise ahead of the exchanging.

"[Name] I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage. With my body I honour you, all that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you, within the love of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit."

2. Catholic Wedding Vows

In the Roman Catholic Church, a wedding is one of the seven holy sacraments, and includes the declaration, exchanging of consent, the wedding blessing and the exchanging of rings.

Ahead of exchanging vows, couples usually answer three questions from the priest marrying them, all to do with consent, commitment and children.

"[Name] and [Name], have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in this marriage?

"Will you honour each other as man/wife and man/wife for the rest of your lives?

"Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"

Once those questions are all answered with a 'yes' from each person in the couple, the exchanging of vows can then take place.

"I [Name] take you [Name] to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.

"In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, take and wear this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness."

3. Hindu Traditional Wedding Vows Examples

Hindu weddings are often representative of not just the coming together of two individuals, but two families within a community. Traditionally, Hindu ceremonies are represented by the exchanging of floral garlands during a ceremony called Jai Mala. 

Exchanging vows at a Hindu wedding is known as 'Saptapadi', which translates to the 'seven steps', also known as the 'seven vows'. Today, some couples choose to fuse together tradition with modernities, by exchanging both rings  and garlands. 

Below are the seven steps of the Hindu wedding ceremony vows that you will hear at traditional celebrations.

"Let us take the first step to provide for our household a nourishing and pure diet, avoiding those foods injurious to healthy living.

"Let us take the second step to develop physical, mental, and spiritual powers.

"Let us take the third step to increase our wealth by righteous means and proper use.

"Let us take the fourth step to acquire knowledge, happiness, and harmony by mutual love and trust.

"Let us take the fifth step so that we are blessed with strong, virtuous, and heroic children.

"Let us take the sixth step for self-restraint and longevity.

"Finally, let us take the seventh step and be true companions and remain lifelong partners by this wedlock."

4. Muslim Traditional Wedding Vows Examples

Traditionally, Muslim wedding ceremonies, known as Nikkah, don't include an exchanging of wedding vows. As an alternative, the Imam usually hosts a short sermon and blessing where they give their consent to marry.

However, with many Muslim weddings varying from culture to culture, and some couples opting for fusion ceremonies, some do include vows. Muslim wedding ceremonies which do include an exchanging of wedding vows typically follow the below format.

"I, [Name], offer you myself in marriage in accordance with the instructions of the Holy Quran and the Holy Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him. I pledge, in honesty and with sincerity, to be for you an obedient and faithful wife.

"I , [Name] pledge, in honesty and sincerity, to be for you a faithful and helpful husband."

In weddings where a bride and groom are marrying, the bride recites the first vow, and the groom responds with the second, but for LGBTQ+ couples, and those who want to change the order, there's no reason why you can't add your own spin or adapt the vows to suit you.

5. Jewish Traditional Wedding Vows Examples

Couples who want to host a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony will learn that they often don't include a spoken exchanging of wedding vows. Instead, the key component to the ceremony is when the rings are exchanged and the seven blessings are recited - often in Hebrew.

As couples exchange their wedding rings in a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony, it's likely they will exchange the below words. 

"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine."

When spoken in Hebrew, this term translates directly to, "Behold, thou art consecrated unto me with this ring according to the law of Moses and of Israel."

6. Civil Ceremony Wedding Vows

For couples who want to have a nonreligious wedding ceremony that is still considered a legal wedding, civil ceremonies are the most popular choice. They are conducted by a legal officiant and the traditional structure of civil ceremony wedding vows are below. 

They refer mostly to the legal aspect of the wedding, but you can always adapt them to be more personalised. 

"I call upon these persons here present, to witness that I [Name] do take thee [Name] to be my lawful wedded wife/husband."

These may be slightly extended, eg: "I call upon these persons here present, to witness that I [Name] do take thee [Name] to be my lawful wedded wife/husband, to be loving, faithful and loyal to thee in living our married life together."

"I give you this ring as a symbol of our love. All that I am I give to you. All that I have I share with you. I promise to love you, to be faithful and loyal, in good times and bad. May this ring remind you always of the words we have spoken today."

7. Non-Denominational Wedding Vows

For those who want to veer off from the traditional script, some registrars will have alternative traditional wedding vows for you to choose from. The below is a particular example from Oxfordshire County Council.

"I promise that I will respect you as an individual, support you through difficult times, rejoice with you through happy times, be loyal to you always and, above all, love you as my wife/husband and friend. I promise to love and respect you, helping our love grow, always being there to listen, comfort and support you, whatever our lives may bring.

"I give you this ring as a sign of our love, trust and marriage. I promise to care for you above all others, to give you my love, friendship and support, and to respect and cherish you throughout our life together."

Traditional or religious wedding vows aren’t for everyone. Sometimes you want something that sounds more up-to-date and true to you as a couple. These example real wedding vows are modern, funny and heartfelt. Take a read through and see if they inspire you. 

Here are extracts from a few real wedding vows that could prove a great starting point for writing your own.

8. Thank you for standing by me...

“[Name], I feel like the most blessed person in the world. I have not only found my life-long companion, the lover of my heart, but my soul mate. Thank you for standing by me and sticking with me through thick and thin; for seeing the person that’s before you now. You believed in me when I didn’t even believe in myself and for that I love you so much. 

“Choosing to commit the rest of my life to you is the easiest thing I will ever do. You are my best friend and inspire me every single day. I promise to spend every day I have left on this earth looking after you, encouraging you, laughing with you and comforting you.

"I promise to do these things because I have been given the most amazing gift I could ever have: you. Know that I love you with all my heart. I’m so happy to call myself your husband/wife!”

9. We will be partners in adventure...

"I vow to hold your hand in my hand and hold your heart in my heart as long as we live. I take you as my husband/wife through the good times and the hard times, side by side. You are the most beautiful, generous, kind and clever person I know, and I will try my hardest every day to be the man you deserve.

"We will be each other's shoulders to stand on and to cry on; we will lift each other up and hold each other tight; we will be partners in adventure and allies in conflict. I promise to never stop making your love and happiness my priority, because your joy is my joy. In sickness and in health, in failure and triumph, I will walk beside you and I will love you, forever."

10. I promise to be true to you...

“They say never date a coworker. Well, I'm so glad I did. From the moment our paths crossed, you’ve captivated me, challenged me, frustrated me and improved me in ways no person has done before. And I have fallen in love with you again and again. I promise to be true to you, to support and encourage you, and to challenge and frustrate you.

"I believe we are truly good for each other and that we will continue to grow stronger together. Today, as we move from I to we, [Name], take this ring as a symbol of my decision to join my life with yours until death shall part us. I walked to this place to meet you today, we shall walk from it together.”

“From this day forward I promise to be worth it. Worth the time. Worth the trip. Worth the energy. Worth the embarrassment. Worth your love. I promise that you will always count. You will always come first, and of course, if you don’t for whatever reason, I will buy you some shoes. From the moment you entered my world, you have filled it with life"

11. I wake up every morning excited to see you...

"Seven years ago, I had the unexpected joy of falling in love with my best friend. It took us three years to realise we were right for each other, but ever since that moment we drunkenly kissed at Anna's New Year's Eve party, I've never had a moment of doubt. You are my soulmate and the wait was so worth it.

"I wake up each morning excited to see you and I know that feeling will never go away. I promise to make each day with you an adventure, to always make the best of every opportunity and disaster, to continue to make each other the best versions of ourselves, and to take on all life throws at us together.

"I want to grow a family with you and to grow old with you. Because life is nothing without you by my side. Thank you for being my husband/wife and my best friend."

12. I promise to cherish you...

“[Name], I love you with all my heart and I promise to try to make you happy every day of our lives together, but more importantly I promise to always order something you like so that we can share in the restaurant.

"I promise to always get rid of the spiders, even though I’m more scared than you. I promise to let you win the occasional argument, even if I’m right. I promise to unclog the shower drain, even though only one of us has any hair. I promise to never watch the next episode on Netflix without you, no matter how much I want to.

"I promise that every day we will laugh, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you, and to always love you. These promises I make to you today, and all the days of our life.”

13. I will never let our honeymoon period end...

“It is impossible to put into words how much I love you. You’re my best friend and at last you're my husband/wife! I promise as our everyday life begins, we will continue to be best friends, we will still be girlfriend and boyfriend. I will never let our honeymoon period end. [Name], loving you is the easiest, most obvious thing I’ve ever done, and I will love you for an eternity.”

14. Wherever you go, I will go...

“Today, I join my life with yours. Wherever you go, I will go; whatever you face, I will face. For good or ill, in happiness or sadness, come riches or poverty, I take you as my husband/wife, and will give myself to no other.

"May our days be long, and may they be seasoned with faith, love, understanding, and respect, forever and ever. Today is the beginning of the rest of our lives. I choose to spend today, and all of my tomorrows, with you.”

15. I make these promises before our family and friends...

“As we start our married life together today, I make these promises before our family and friends...

“I will continually challenge myself to become the best husband/wife I can be; always looking to put you before myself and making your dreams our dreams.

“I will love you; I will adore you; I will cherish you; I will be faithful to you.

“As much as music will always play an important part of my life, you come before my guitars! You will be the greatest song I could and would ever sing.

“I will help you discover your full potential, pushing you to become the best you can be, to support and ensure your hopes and dreams come to fruition.

“I will stand by your side in all things, the highs and the lows, always finding agreement in everything that we do as husband and wife."

16. I am a better person because of you...

“I promise to be your faithful husband/wife. I promise to love you when the sun shines, when the rain falls, in sickness, and in health. When you look at this ring, think of me and remember that I love you always.

"You know me better than anyone in the world and you still love me - for that I will never be able to thank you enough. I am a better person because of you and I will try to be worthy of your love. I promise to be the man/woman that I see now in your eyes, today, tomorrow, and for the rest of our lives. I love you."

17. You fill my life with meaning...

“I promise to try to be worthy of your love in every way, to climb mountains and swim oceans just to be by your side. I will be honest, caring, patient, forgiving and loyal. You fill my life with meaning. Thank you for taking me as I am, loving me, and welcoming me into your heart. I promise to always love you, respect you, and to be faithful to you forever. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

18. Whether times are good or hard, I'll be there...

"When you met me, I was lost. I didn't know who I was or what I wanted, but you took my hand gently and made me the man/woman I am today. I pledge to build the most beautiful future with you.

"I promise to love you, respect you, always be kind to you, and never give you any reason to doubt me.

"I will support you, be patient with you, and help you achieve your dreams - just as you've done for me. With this ring, I promise to share my life with you until the day we die. Whether times are good or hard, I'll be here. I will hold your hand gently and look forward to all the tomorrows ahead of us."

19. I promise you this...

“As your husband/wife, I promise you this,

“To love and fall more in love with you each day.

“To cherish every moment we have together.

“To respect and honour you for the rest of my life.

“To be open and honest with you.

“To support you in all your heart’s desires.

“To follow you wherever you may go.

“To make God the centre of our marriage and to push us into the things he has for us.

“To be faithful to you for the rest of my days.”

20. To me, you are a miracle...

"You came into my life when I wasn't looking for anyone and opened my heart in ways I never expected. I was given a second chance at happiness with you and I am eternally grateful for your love. I vow to be your loving and devoted husband/wife, without judgement, without scorn, but always with an open heart and mind.

“I vow to be patient and humble and try my best to let you win an argument, sometimes. I will communicate with you fiercely and fully and let you know how much I love you every day. To me, you are a miracle and because of you, I laughed again. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you and stand by your side as we see what life has in store for you.

"You are my equal in all things, my partner-in-crime, and my entire future."

21. You are eternally fascinating to me...

“There hasn't been a day since we met where I didn't want to know everything about you. On our first date, I thought I'd nearly scared you away by interrogating you about your passions, your fears, what keeps you up at night, and what gets you up in the morning. You are eternally fascinating to me and I love everything I know about you now.

"As we become husband/wife and wife and take on everything that comes with it, we will continue to learn together and I know that will love you more and more. Your sense of humour, your compassion, your ability to see the good in every situation - that is what makes you unique and wonderful and I promise to never hold back your light. 

"With love and trust and constant fascination, we will continue to make each other shine. One lifetime isn't enough for all the love I have for you, but I will do my best every single day."

If you're planning on writing your own wedding vows (love that for you!), we have some insight into the biggest dos and don'ts, including expert tips from professional wedding celebrant Rebecca Douglas on both writing  and reading them.

1. Check in With Your Partner

This might sound like strange advice to give, as your wedding vows are usually a surprise for your other half on the day, but it's important to check in with each other to agree on the type, style and length of your vows.

Rebecca explains, "Before you write your vows, have a discussion with each other about what you each want to include. For example, will your vows just be what you promise for the future or will you add more of a narrative to them, explaining what you love about each other and any stories from your relationship.

"It's also important to discuss and think about length. You want them to be fairly similar, not only in style but in time as well. It would be quite embarrassing if one partner recited a great love story and a list of things they loved about the other whilst pledging a dozen promises for the future whilst the second partner only had one or two promises they wanted to share."

Imagine how awks that could be! As well as talking about what you do want, are there any words you both disagree on, such as “to obey”? 

2. Get Some Ideas Down on Paper

In terms of getting the content down on paper, head somewhere it’s quiet and you can think. You might find it easier to write your vows in stages so start by making some notes.

Here’s a few questions you can think about to get you started and give you ideas on what to say:

  • When did you first meet?
  • How did you get together?
  • When did you realise she/he was the one?
  • What little details make you smile when you think of him/her?
  • How do you balance each other out? Is he super-organised, whereas you’re more of the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type?
  • Why are you getting married? What does it mean to you?
  • What promises do you want to make for a happy marriage?

Don’t worry about constructing perfect sentences or how things sound to start with, just get your ideas down. You may well end up with pages and pages. Great!

Once you have plenty of notes, you can choose the bits that really stand out to you, and then start polishing them up. The reason you’re writing your own vows is to make them personal, so don’t rush deciding what you want to say.

3. Think About Length

Nathan Walker Photography

Your vows should only be around a minute or two long per person. Pick out five to seven of the most important things you want to say to your partner and use them as the foundation of your vows. You’ll want a mix of the reasons you love them and some key promises you want to make to them for your life together.

We know, you probably have 1,000 lovely things to say about your partner, but don't get your wedding vows confused with a wedding speech. If you are loving the process of gushing over your partner, why not write a longer version of your vows in a letter to give to your partner on your wedding night?

4. Research Other Wedding Vows

Read lots of examples of other people’s wedding vows (handily, we’ve got lots below) and see if you prefer a more traditional or modern style.

Do you want religious or secular wedding vows? Are they going to be funny or emotional? Will it be promises, or a speech or a poem?

Of course, if you want them to be original, you won't be copying and pasting other people's wedding vows, but they are a great start to get you going, and can provide brilliant inspiration if you're suffering from writer's block.

5. Get Your Celebrant Involved

If you're hiring a wedding celebrant, Rebecca stresses the importance of using them as a sounding board. She says, "I would advise sending your vows to the celebrant so they can look at them both and make sure they are reasonably aligned with each other."

This is a great idea if you haven't had that initial conversation with each other. It's also helpful for your celebrant or whoever is conducting your wedding ceremony to know the rough timings of your vows - they'll be able to tell you to reign it in if you've gone a bit hard on the length.

6. Ensure They Sound Like You

This may sound like an obvious one, but you'd be amazed at the amount of wedding ceremonies we've seen where someone has clearly felt pressured to make their vows, speech or reading sound ultra-fancy.

Rebecca adds, "When it comes to writing your vows, follow the structure you and your partner came up with but don't be too fancy with vocabulary if you are not normally someone who uses big words.

"Remember you will be saying these in front of people so you don't want to trip yourself up with words you are not entirely sure you know how to pronounce. It can be quite emotional standing up there so you want to make it as easy as possible for yourself, as well as sounding as genuine as possible."

7. Practise Makes Perfect

Hopefully, you don't need us to tell you that practising your wedding vows is a good idea, and Rebecca agrees, "Rehearse, rehearse, and rehearse. You don't have to learn them by heart but you want the words to flow when you are saying them and you want to know what is coming should you find yourself overcome with emotion.

"Practising also means you can look at your partner a little more while saying them, rather than staring down at your script, after all, it is them you are speaking to. I also recommend using a rather large font, it helps should you lose your place to quickly find it again."

Top Tip:  Here's the wedding vow tip you didn't know you needed! No reading vows off of phones please - it's not a great look. Rebecca advises, "Presentation-wise, it is much nicer if you have your vows in a folder or wedding vow booklet , rather than a piece of paper and it means you can add some ribbon to match your colour scheme too so they are coordinated."

8. Accept Your Emotions

If you are worried about writing anything too emotional and getting upset, don't. As Rebecca says, "When all is said and done, it doesn't matter if you make a mistake when saying your vows or get emotional in the delivery. This isn't a performance, it is you telling your partner that you love them and that you will continue to love them so no matter how you say your vows, it will still be a cherished and precious moment in your relationship."

If you're already married and have celebrated a few milestone wedding anniversaries - but love the idea of renewing your vows, here's what you need to know about pricing. 

The cost of renewing your wedding vows will entirely depend on the style of celebration you plan. The bigger the do, the pricier it will be, but one fee all renewals will need to consider is that of the wedding celebrant conducting the ceremony. 

Rebecca sheds some light, explaining, "Celebrant prices can really vary, depending not only on the area you live in, but also the style and detail you want. In the Surrey, London, and Hampshire areas, which I cover, prices typically start at around £500 and can be anything up to £900 and beyond.

"Some celebrants may only offer a standard package where they work from a variety of templates and others will be more involved and can create something unique and personal to you. This will certainly impact cost and this is an important detail to consider before you book your celebrant as it is important to choose a style that is fitting for you as a couple and is something you both feel comfortable with.

"Some couples for example want to keep their ceremony short and sweet whilst others would like the ceremony to be as personal as possible, including telling their story and/ or involving family members, rituals, and other personalised touches."

Once you've written them, it's time to get yourself something to host them in! These wedding vow books will look so beautiful on the day and act as amazing wedding keepsakes afterwards, too. 

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