child adoption essay in english

Adoption: An Essay

What is it like to suddenly be contacted by the birth parents you've never met.

Posted October 27, 2011 | Reviewed by Davia Sills

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Adopting an Identity

It's a day just like any other in my freshman year, and my mom tells me my dad cried over the contents of the envelope she just handed to me. I have a hard time believing her, because I've never seen my dad cry and because dads, by the laws of nature, aren't supposed to cry. But the envelope concerns me, and it concerned my dad enough to cry about it.

Pretty soon, I'm crying, and my mom's crying. Our faces are like shiny red beets while tears fall into our open mouths as we try and fail to talk to each other through the tears. We only manage blubbering, guttural noises.

Inside the envelope are letters and pictures. My mom says they're from my biological parents, and that idea doesn't process, because the handwritten letter from my bio-father looks so much like my mom's handwriting that I think she's playing some sort of trick on me. She's not.

I flip through pictures of Chimene and Richard, these accidental lovers, and of the two half-siblings I never knew about. It's surreal; I feel only half awake as I flip among the pictures and wonder who these people are and wonder who I am because of these letters.

I felt out of place in my family. I would see families stockpiled with love. But love felt awkward since I didn't know how to give it, because I didn't, and in some ways still don't, appreciate everything my family does for me.

And I didn't see myself in my parents. They didn't read; they didn't like the kind of movies I like; they didn't share my atheism, my cynicism , or any personality quirks. I didn't understand the concept of all this familial love, because I wasn't sure how to love my parents when I felt disconnected from them.

My mom lingers. I think she feels as though she's obligated to help me along this emotional journey because she's my mom, and that's her job. All I can think about is how similar this is to the moment in the second grade when I was told I was adopted. I laid on the king-sized bed in my parents' room, talking about my day, wide-eyed at the fact that a girl in my grade was adopted. And then my mom told me that the girl and I had similar life stories.

My mom claimed she told me when I was young, but I didn't remember. At 8, I was told I was unique in a way I didn't want to be. We sat in silence for a while, and I wanted nothing more than to go away and cry. So I excused myself and got a Pepsi from the fridge. My mom accompanied me, and I can't remember feeling more sad, embarrassed, and angry in my entire childhood at the fact that she wouldn't leave me alone.

My biological mother uses an abundance of "teehees" in her structurally strange, typed letter because apparently she's funny, and laughter can't be captured on paper. I can't connect with her "teehees." I can't see any humor in the impersonal black ink. I can't connect with a person whose letter is like a resume, a list of altruistic hobbies and likable characteristics. Yet, I look at this paper and see myself in her love of books, her terrible humor. And I feel almost a sense of... relief.

I can't relate to my parents. And now I'm reading about this woman, seemingly so foreign, this woman who's training for the Iraq war and likes to plant, whose first love is God followed by her husband John, this woman who's half like me. Only half, but that's half more than I can say for my parents.

I sift through her computer-paper memories printed in the dull-colored ink. Then I move on to Richard. I already like him. He gave me actual pictures, glossy, without fingerprint smudges, true and genuine, just like his handwritten letter that tells me he took time and effort in this compilation.

I almost feel like an intruder looking at his best friends, his brother, his beard that makes him look like The Dude from The Big Lebowski . Richard begins by feeling obligated to tell me that I wasn't a mistake, that there was a good reason why I was brought up by a different family, blah blah. I don't need comfort from a man I don't know.

But I do know him. It's terrifying to the point where my hands begin to shake.

I know him because I'm the carbon copy of him, from his cheekbones to his aspirations. Our canines are identical, our eyes mirrors, our dimples cousins, our smiles duplicates. As I read the letter, I grow more and more dumbfounded. I want to major in film, and I think NYU is just about the most amazing school there is. So when I read that he majored in film production at NYU, I'm literally scared.

The similarities don't stop there. We're both adopted, we both love movies to no end, we like math, we prefer Judaism to other religions, we're both this, and we're both that. This letter is staring me in the face, telling me that I'm not random, that it's OK to not be like my family because I'm not exactly a part of them.

It's natural to want to believe that humans are independent. We all like to think we have freedom, that we're not controlled by anyone or anything. But science suggests that we are biased creatures with predispositions originating from either our genes or our environments. The nature versus nurture debate has been going since the dawn of psychology. Some say that we are a product of our environments; how we grow up and the conditions we grow up in help determine who we are today. For instance, someone can be a bitter adult due to a poor upbringing or a selfish adult because of a spoiled childhood.

The opposing view of this is that we have genetic predispositions that shape who we are. It's in our genes to like or dislike something; we're already programmed to be a certain way. Scientists have looked into this study by observing twins who have grown up in different environments. Theoretically, if nature wins out, they should be very similar people; however, if nurture is the dominant factor, they would be completely different people.

Homelife, culture, and peers definitely play a role in the makeup of a person. But then there are people like Oskar Stohr and Jack Yufe, identical twins reared apart. One was raised as a Catholic and a Nazi while the other was raised in the Caribbean as a Jew. They both liked sweet liqueur and spicy food, tended to fall asleep while watching television, flushed the toilet before using it, kept rubber bands on their wrists, and had quick tempers. When they met, they were both wearing blue, double-breasted shirts, mustaches, and wire-rimmed glasses.

And this might seem like a freakish coincidence, but it's not an anomaly. Among other examples, there are also the two Jims; twins reared apart named Jim who had sons named James, first wives named Linda and second wives named Betty, dogs named Toy, vasectomies, a woodworking hobby, fondness for Miller Lite, chain- smoking habit, and more similarities they shared.

It seems that nature wins this debate. But I didn't need studies to tell me that. I learned it in a letter.

I don't resent my parents because I'm not able to relate to them. What used to bother me was my brother. It's clear to see that Gerald Singleton King, Jr. is my father's son. They have matching hot-heads and hairlines and a knack for business. My brother borrowed my dad's eyes and my grandpa's height to become who he is. And when you turn to my mom, you can see how G.J. has her social skill and empathetic demeanor.

Then there is me. The shortest person in my entire extended family, the only blue-eyed girl, the sort of person to read Infinite Jest for fun while everyone else has a magazine in their hands. My entire family always told me I was an artist, but I'm pretty sure that's because they didn't know what else to call me.

I always wanted to do something different, and I'm not sure if that's because I was already labeled as different or because I genuinely wanted to. But then my brother went to Brown University and then to Stanford. I had no room to do something awesome because my brother was better; my brother was biological.

It took me a while to stop comparing myself to G.J. I stepped back and remembered: Yeah, I'm different. We don't share the same biological source, so how can my brain cells compare to his?

And I have to remember. It doesn't happen often, but I have to remember that my parents aren't useless. I know I take them for granted; every suburban teenager does.

If they didn't raise me Christian, I wouldn't have found my voice through atheism. If they didn't provide for me well, I wouldn't feel the need to provide well for others. If they didn't teach me the laws of the world, I wouldn't know how to rebel against them. While I found solace in the letters, I had to remember—have to remember—that my ability to relate to strangers doesn't compromise the fact that my parents are, and always will be, superior because they raised me.

Richard is rather poignant. All bio-fathers should be as cool as Richard. No one has ever told me that I'm special the way Richard is telling me I'm special. He writes, "Your existence in this world means a lot to me. It's difficult to put into exactly the right words, but it's kind of like... When you were born, it validated my existence. No matter what I did or did not accomplish from that point forward, there would always be you."

I think I needed Richard's letter more than Chimene's letter. Maybe that's because I was able to relate to him so well, and I needed a father figure to relate to. My dad always had my brother; they bonded over sports and muscle. And I had my mom, which was fine.

But I think I rejected my dad a lot, not only because he was sports-crazed, and I wasn't, but also because I only ever remember the bad things about him. Like the time he threw mashed potatoes in my hair at Thanksgiving. Or whenever he would yell something rude at me, then adopt a gentlemanly Southern accent for his customers on the phone. Or when I called 911 when he collapsed unconscious on the stairs and never received a thank you.

I'm not saying I needed a father figure or that Richard would fulfill that gap I (perhaps) have in my psyche left over from an unrequited relationship that was never really formed. The bottom line is, it's nice to hear that I'm special.

My mom told me she's scared that when I'm upset, I lock myself in my room and look at the battered envelope and dream of a life with a family that would accept me. I don't. I hadn't even touched the envelope for a second time until last week, trying to write this paper and remember why my bio-parents are still important to me.

I wanted to meet them when I was younger. I wanted to live a different life when Hinsdale was too small or too dull for me. I dreamed of the day I would turn 18 and find them wherever they were lurking. It frightened me to think that there were people walking and talking and living out there who came together under erroneous circumstances of which I was a product.

I struggled with the idea that I had two sets of parents, four sets of grandparents, double order of everything, and I'd never get the chance to know half of them. It didn't seem fair that there were two people whose blood I shared living normal lives without me. I never grasped the phrase "blood is thicker than water," because I didn't know whose blood ran in my veins.

I understand my mom's fear that I might get along with my bio-parents if I met them and abandon her to have a hunky-dory relationship. But I think my mom's fear is irrational. She's my mom. It's not as though I'd go running off with some woman I didn't know only because she gave birth to me.

My biological mother wasn't the person I talked to every day after school about my day. She wasn't the person that drove me to all the soccer games I never even played in. She wasn't the person who bought my Christmas presents, who wasn't afraid to touch me when I got the flu because I was stubborn and didn't want a flu shot, who searched online for weeks to find a replacement for my striped Ralph Lauren comforter that I ripped unintentionally while taking a nap. Chimene had nothing to do with my life, nor did she have the right to, because she had never been a part of my life.

I don't know whether or not I want to meet them now. I'm not sure I could stand the humility. "Oh, hi, my name is Maz, and I think I'm your daughter." Yeah, I'm sure Hollywood has already covered that conversation.

And I feel as though I'd be an inconvenience. Out of nowhere, a daughter of sorts comes into their lives. I know they basically plopped right down into my life with that envelope, but I needed to know who they were; I needed just a little bit of information about them in order to accept myself and the differences between my family and me.

If we reversed the scenario, if I contact them, I would feel obligated to keep talking to them, or else it would be too awkward to have a potentially life-changing encounter, only for communication to fizzle out after one or two meetings. And I'm sure that's a hassle, for both them and me, as well as my parents. I don't think my mom could handle it; all her fears would come creeping back, and horrid little ideas would form in her mind in my absence.

But, most importantly, I don't see the point in getting to know my bio-parents anymore. When I was little, I nearly begged for a different life. And now I'm off to college in a semester—I'm forced to have a different life. I don't feel that longing anymore, the sort of longing that requires endless amounts of hoping and pining for something not quite in your reach.

Because the thing is, I'm sure my bio-parents are wonderful people. They sound like wonderful people. But I don't need or want their approval. I don't need or want a relationship with them. I know they exist. And that's enough for now.

Paul C. Holinger, M.D., M.P.H. , a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, is a professor of psychiatry at Rush University Medical Center and author of What Babies Say Before They Can Talk .

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Essay on Adoption: Pros and Cons of Child Adoption

As a rule, essays on adoption examine the two types of adoption, namely closed or confidential adoption and open adoption that has gained popularity since the early 1980s. Adoption essay topics are diverse. They may include the pros and cons of adoption or the issue of child adoption by homosexual couples, which is a goal of gay adoption essay. They might also reflect some ideas on the issue of either closed or open adoption. Adoption essays are aimed to make it clear why adopted children often suffer from various associated problems and what concerns their parents have in relation to the upbringing of non-biological children. The following persuasive essay on adoption will examine the advantages and disadvantage of adoption regardless of its type. The essay on adoption presented below will explore the issue from the perspectives of both adoptive families and adoptees. This will ensure that the readers clearly understand what adoption means and what consequences it is associated with. The following adoption essay will also give a definition of closed and open adoption in order to clarify what these concepts mean. The current essay about adoption will further conclude whether most adopted children feel safe in their new home environment and whether their parents are satisfied with the results of child adoption.

The current adoption argumentative essay will start from giving a definition of closed and open adoption as well as briefly discussing the time periods when these concepts came into being. A closed or confidential adoption is the kind of adoption when there is no relationship between the birth of a child and adoptive families. This kind of adoption was popular from the 1950s till the 1980s, and was afterwards replaced by the open adoption, which at that time started to quickly gain popularity with young couples across the world . In case of confidential or closed adoption, the adoption agencies serve as mediators, while the adoptive families obtain confidential information about the biological parents of a child without identifying who these people are. Such information includes the medical history of biological parents as well as a description of their physical characteristics.

Many parents have an enjoyable experience in the process of adoption, while others are not satisfied with it. Here is a list of pros and cons of adoption, which should be taken into account before making the final decision. Young couples should first of all evaluate whether it would be reasonable to adopt a child or not.

• The first advantage of adoption consists in rescuing a child. The process of adoption is aimed at finding good candidates for the role of parents, while excluding those who would not be able to handle the task. If a good and well-natured family adopts a child, he/she receives enough support and care necessary for an enjoyable childhood experience. Perhaps, the child is going to have new siblings in his/her new family and build good relations with them that would last for the lifetime. Some of the adopted children are used to abusive behavior, violence and neglect on behalf of adults. Therefore, if they enter a peaceful environment in their new family, they will have a carefree childhood and will get a chance to forget about negative experience in the past.
• Adoption also represents a kind of assistance provided to the biological parents of a child. In some cases, adoption provides a number of benefits to the birth mother. For example, if the birth mother of a child is a teenager who would otherwise struggle hard to provide necessary conditions for her child while going to school or working, adoption is the best way out of the situation. In some other cases, parents may be physically or psychologically incapable of raising a child on their own. When such parents are deprived of parental rights for the purpose of adoption, they seek help required to provide good life conditions for their child. Adoptive parents in this case would provide necessary care for the new arrival and would cover all the expenses for the legal process of adopting a child.
• As for the benefits for the adoptive family, it needs to be noted that families want to adopt a child for a variety of reasons. Some of them are unable to have a biological child but are dreaming of having kids. Some others want to avoid the challenging process of pregnancy so they see adoption as the best way out. In these cases, adoption provides multiple benefits for the adoptive families.
• One of the disadvantages of adoption lies in the fact that it is a long and tiresome process. Once the parents have decided on what agency is best suited for them, they will start the application process, which might take a considerable amount of time. During this process, the agency will examine the ability of parents to raise a child as well as their financial background. They will further be placed on a waiting list before they finally get a chance to adopt a child. This process might take several months or even years. Therefore, such a challenge makes adoption a rather complicated procedure that requires much persistence from the adoptive family.
• Adoption is also associated with multiple expenses. Some types of adoption might cost around $2,500, so not many families can afford such procedure. At the same time, some employers provide an opportunity to pay some of the expenses to assist with the process of child adoption. Nevertheless, adoption remains a costly procedure, which is not affordable to all families.
• One more disadvantage is the challenging children. The adopted children might assimilate well into the new environment with all love and care provided to them. However, in later life they might have some psychological problems caused by the fact that they have been adopted. Some of them feel that they are a burden to their new family and tend to blame themselves for any problems faced by the family. This negatively affects their self-esteem and results in depression.

The arguments examined in the current paper prove that adoption is a challenging procedure despite all the benefits associated with rescuing a child from a negative environment. Therefore, it is up to parents to decide whether they wish to adopt a child or not. Parents should take into account all pros and cons of adoption before arriving at the final decision.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Adoption — Problems that Adoptees Facing and Its Therapy

Problems that Adoptees Facing and Its Therapy

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Adoption Essay

An adoption essay is a kind writing, which contains the information about child adoption. The writer should discuss the matter from two perspectives. Both the children’s and parents’ interests must be presented in the paper. Moreover, it is necessary to mention that there are several types of adoption. They are: agency adoption, independent adoption, and intercountry adoption. The most important thing to do before getting down to work is choosing the topic for the paper. Read the sources you have found and try to connect your own ideas with ones of the author’s. It is possible to discuss one of the following questions in the paper: 1) What is adoption? 2) Do such types of adoption as agency, independent, and intercountry differ? 3) How to find a child for adoption?. 4) Are the children of all ages available for adoption? 5) Is it possible for a single person to take care of such a child?

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An Adoption Research Paper

An adoption thesis statement, an abortion essay, a foster care essay, adoption quotes, a trans-racial adoption essay, a good adoption essay, download free sample of an adoption essay.

An Adoption Essay Sample (Click the Image to Enlarge)

Adoption is a legal process of adopting a child. The parent adopting, called adopter, assumes all the parenting rights of the biological parents after adoption is finalized. The adopted child becomes a family member and gets all the rights that go with it, like inheritance, for example. While adoption is common everywhere, it is highly regulated in the western world. And there are many issues surrounding adoption: legal, social and psychological. Writing a well-crafted adoption essay means that the writer is informed about the aspects concerning the topic under analysis.

Adoption has existed for many centuries. When slavery was common, children used to be adopted to be slaves. The extension of the family and ensuring the continuity of the generation also were the reasons for adoption. Recently, the focus is on the welfare of a child. And obviously there have been tendency of childless parents adopting a child. On the welfare side, children abandoned by parents, orphaned or not well provided are adopted by those, who can take care of them. There have been debates about LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender) adoption. In that case, welfare of the adoptee is given the main consideration.

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ProfEssays.com is committed to meet all the usual expectations of students and their professors. We can write any paper from personal essays for college admission to any kind of essays for your academic need. We hire only professional writers , whose native language is English. Besides, their experience in their field is matchless in the industry. They are very well acquainted with all the aspects of adoption and can provide your paper with strong arguments.

An adoption research paper must be structured properly. If you want to organize your paper correctly, you should prepare a pithy outline for it. Firstly, identify the problem you are going to deal with. Secondly, choose the level of detail that you are going to use. Do not forget that it is possible to write several phrases about an issue or use one or two words to explain the same point.

An adoption thesis statement is often recommended to write the last. It is so because its purpose is to become a guide to the paper. It is better to make it provocative to catch the readers’ attention. Try brainstorming to get the ideas for your thesis . Some professionals suggest finding excellent thesis statements and taking them as an example. It will be great if your thesis contains contradiction or some new idea.

An abortion essay is also a frequently written paper. It is necessary to state that any abortion essay should emphasize the consequences of abortion. It must influence the readers’ point of view upon this issue. Women who get rid of their own babies do not think that they kill living beings. The baby’s heart starts beating in the fifth week of pregnancy; that is why abortion is a murder of a creature which even did not start to live.

A foster care essay should present both positive and negative influence of foster care upon a child. On the one hand, it is the only way out both for childless people and a homeless child. But on the other hand, there are several problems that may occur. It can be emotional instability, unexpected conflicts, bad behavior, rebellion against the guardian’s control, etc. The writer may focus whether on these problems and give his own recommendations.

Adoption quotes are very useful for writing the paper on the matter under consideration. The quotes may be applied either as means for inspiration or as a topic to discuss. Thus, if you cannot choose an interesting topic for your adoption paper , you may google and select an interesting quote to become the basis for the writing. You may use this one: “ It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons .”

A trans-racial adoption essay should explain what trans-racial adoption is. In fact, it is giving home and family to children that have different race and cultural background from the parents, who are going to adopt them. All children are equal and need parental love and care. The writer may focus on the procedure and requirements for adopting such a child. It is also necessary to view the opposing thoughts concerning the topic.

Consider the following points for a good adoption essay .

• The title is obviously the most important thing to decide. It decides, if the readers want to read the paper up to the end. So, choose the title that you think will get the reader involved. Plus, make sure that you have enough knowledge for discussing the problem.
• Introduction gives the reader the basic data about adoption and the aspect of adoption you are dealing with. For example, if you are writing about the adoption of orphaned children, you can give the general overview of the problem along with statistics.
• Thesis statement is your declaration about the topic. Here you tell the readers in one sentence what your paper deals with. It gives you a clear focus on the issue and lets the readers know what they can expect from the paper.
• Body is obviously the main part of the essay as it is where you explain your take and then you put forward your opinions, arguments and facts. Ensure that you deal with all the aspects, pros and cons, and the issues surrounding the topic.
• Conclusion is a closing part of your adoption essay. Here you should summarize your points and give a final impression to the readers of what you are dealing in the essay. This is your chance to create a lasting impression in the readers’ mind.
• Format is also very important. The popular formats are APA style , MLA style , Turabian style, etc.

Thus, dealing with the debatable idea like adoption is not an easy task. The controversies surrounding adoption need you to be aware of many facets and issues of adoption. What if the biological parents want their child back? What about the social reception of the child? Will the adopters give the children enough love and emotional support for their mental development? Adoption is a beginning of new lasting relationship, but will that be sustained over period of time? These are some of the questions surrounding adoption. And you should answer some of them in your adoption essay . You ought to see the matter from the side of adoptee, adopters and the biological parents. Besides, you must not ignore the rules and regulation governing adoption.

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The Dogs Helping the Covenant Children Find Their Way Back

To heal after a mass shooting, the Covenant School families have turned to therapy, faith, one another — and a lot of dogs.

Monroe Joyce, 10, runs with one of two dachshunds taken in by her family. She is one of several children who now have a dog after surviving the Covenant School shooting. Credit...

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By Emily Cochrane

Photographs by Erin Schaff

Emily Cochrane and Erin Schaff spoke with more than a dozen Covenant School parents, students, staff and their dogs.

• Published March 24, 2024 Updated March 28, 2024

Two of April Manning’s children, Mac and Lilah, had just survived the mass shooting at the Covenant School in Nashville. They needed stability and time to grieve.

Listen to this article with reporter commentary

Open this article in the New York Times Audio app on iOS.

So she did everything she could to keep the family dog, Owen, their sweet but ailing 15-year-old golden retriever, with them for as long as possible. She pushed back his final trip to the vet, keeping him comfortable as he slowly moved around the house.

Getting another dog was the furthest thing from her mind. But a few weeks after the shooting, her children sat her down for an important presentation.

Prepared with a script and a PowerPoint — “Why We Should Get (Another) Dog” — they rattled through research showing the mental health benefits of having one. It could limit their chances of developing PTSD and help them feel safe. Playing together would get them outside and boost their happiness.

Ms. Manning and her husband considered. Maybe a second dog was possible.

First came Chip, a Cavalier King Charles spaniel. Then, after Owen succumbed to old age, came Birdie, a miniature poodle and Bernese Mountain dog mix. And in taking them in, the Mannings were far from alone.

In the year since Tennessee’s worst school shooting, in which three third-graders and three staff members were killed by a former student, more than 40 dogs have been taken in by families at Covenant, a small Christian school of about 120 families.

“I really only expected them to help in a cuddly kind of way, like just to snuggle the kids when they’re upset ,” Ms. Manning said. “But I wasn’t really expecting all the other benefits from them.”

To spend time with the Covenant families is to understand how they have relied on one another, traditional psychological treatments and mental health counseling, and their Christian faith to hold them together.

But it is also to see how often what they needed — a distraction, a protector, a friend who could listen, something untouched by darkness — came from a dog.

An Immediate Response

Dogs greeted the surviving children at Sandy Hook Elementary School as they returned to a refurbished middle school in 2013. A dozen golden retrievers were on hand in Orlando to provide comfort after the deadly attack at a L.G.B.T.Q. nightclub in 2016. The therapy dogs who tended to the surviving students in Parkland, Fla., made the school yearbook .

“Over this period of sort of, 35,000 years, dogs have become incredibly adept at socializing with humans, so they’re sensitive to our emotional state,” said Dr. Nancy Gee, who oversees the Center for Human-Animal Interaction at Virginia Commonwealth University.

Even brief, minute-long interactions with dogs and other animals can reduce cortisol, the body’s stress hormone, research by Dr. Gee and others has shown, providing a possible lifeline for veterans struggling with PTSD and others recovering from trauma.

And on the day of the Covenant shooting, dogs were immediately there to help. Covey, the headmaster’s dog, was at a nearby firehouse, where dozens of staff members and students were evacuated. Squid, a retriever mix, was at the children’s hospital at Vanderbilt University Medical Center, helping to comfort the staff if needed.

When the students who survived were put on a school bus to be reunited with their anguished parents, Sgt. Bo, a police dog, was sitting at their side.

Officer Faye Okert, the dog’s handler with the Metro Nashville Police, handed out a baseball card of dog facts to distract and comfort the children.

“The focus was on him,” said Officer Okert. “You had smiles after what they had been through.”

After families reunited, counselors offered clear advice: To help your child, get a dog. Or borrow a neighbor’s.

That led several parents to connect with Comfort Connections, a nonprofit comfort dog organization. Jeanene Hupy, the group’s founder, had seen firsthand how therapy dogs had helped the Sandy Hook students and started her own organization once she moved to Nashville.

The group, which oversees a menagerie of golden retrievers, a gentle pit bull and a massive English mastiff, began its work by visiting individual homes in the days after the shooting. Then, when students returned to class weeks later, the dogs were once again there.

They were something to look forward to, in the moments when walking through the school doors felt overwhelming. And when there were painful reminders — a water bottle clattering to the floor, an unsettling history lesson on war or the absence of a friend — a child could slip away and cuddle a dog.

As Ms. Hupy put it, something special happens “when you bring in something that loves you more than it loves itself, which is these guys.”

A Reassuring Presence

First it was a joke, then a reality: Everyone was getting a dog.

Fueled by community donations and her own money, Ms. Hupy began connecting several parents and puppies. Even for families who could easily afford a new dog, Ms. Hupy and her trainers dramatically eased the logistical hurdles by finding and training puppies that seemed perfect fits to each family.

The Anderson girls shrieked and cried with joy when they learned they were getting a dog, and have now taught Leo how to flaunt sunglasses and do tricks. The Hobbs children constantly scoop up Lady Diana Spencer, often fashionably dressed in a string of pearls or sweaters.

The dogs are also there in the harder moments, too, like when an ambulance or police car drives by blaring its siren or when the memorial ribbons in their neighborhood remind them of what was lost.

“Sometimes it’s just nice to have a giant soft pillow that doesn’t need to talk to you and just cuddle it,” said Evangeline Anderson, now 11.

And if the dogs chew on a shoe or make a mess on a rug, Ms. Manning said, it is a lesson in how to deal with conflicting emotions.

“We still love them and we’re so glad we have them — both things can be true,” she said. “Just like we can be really nervous about going back to school and still also be excited to do it.”

And maybe, the parents realized, it was not just for the children.

Rachel and Ben Gatlin were driving back from vacation on the day of the shooting. That has meant grappling with the heaviness of survival and knowing that Mr. Gatlin, a history teacher who carried a pistol on his ankle for personal protection, could have run toward the shooter that day.

And while their new dog, Buddy, has adapted to the bossiness of their young children and has developed a penchant for sock consumption, he has also kept the adults’ thoughts focused in the moment. Tending to his needs has served as a reminder of their own.

“When you see it working, you’re in total comfort,” Ms. Gatlin said.

Even the school’s chaplain, Matthew Sullivan, found that the stories of new puppies being shared each day in chapel were “wearing me down in a good way.”

“I kind of wanted to enter into the experience of all these families firsthand,” he said.

Now Hank, a slightly anxious, floppy-eared Scooby-Doo doppelgänger, has been adopted into his home, which had been a little empty without his grown children.

The Alternatives

Not everyone got a dog.

For the McLeans, the solution was two rabbits.

“It’s an incredible distraction to their reality,” Abby McLean said of her children, cupping her hands to mimic cradling a rabbit on her shoulder. “I find myself occasionally doing it as well.”

Another family added Ginny, a tortoise with a possible seven-decade life span, to the mix of animals already in their house.

“For having lost people early in life — there was something that equated to me in that, that there was a longevity to it, to a tortoise,” said Phil Shay, who picked out the tortoise with his 12-year-old daughter, Ever.

Still, the dogs far outnumber the other pets. And every day they can make a little difference.

The first night that George, Jude and Amos Bolton had tried to sleep alone without their parents after the shooting, the slightest grumble from the ice machine or the dryer had been too much. Their mother, Rachel, who had maintained that she liked dogs, just not in her house, soon agreed to take in Hudson, a miniature Goldendoodle puppy with doe-like eyes and wild curls.

“We didn’t realize the dogs could create comfort for people,” Jude, now 10, said, his hands ruffling Hudson’s ears. And when Hudson came home, he added, “he’s just been comforting us ever since.”

It is now easier to sleep through the night, safe with the knowledge that Hudson is there.

“All my friends joke, they’re like, ‘I can’t believe you’re a dog person now,’” Ms. Bolton said. But this dog, she added, “has healed this family.”

Read by Emily Cochrane

Audio produced by Patricia Sulbarán .

Emily Cochrane is a national reporter for The Times covering the American South, based in Nashville. More about Emily Cochrane

Erin Schaff is a photojournalist for The Times, covering stories across the country. More about Erin Schaff

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