outline for writing wedding vows

The Best Wedding Vows Template & 22 Questions to Help Personalize Them

• Chapelle writes articles for The Knot Worldwide. She covers all things wedding-related and has a personal interest in covering celebrity engagements and fashion.
• Before joining The Knot Worldwide, Chapelle was an editorial intern for Subvrt Magazine.
• Chapelle has a degree in English writing from Loyola University New Orleans.

Let's guess. You thought writing your vows would take an easy, breezy, beautiful half hour, but instead, you've been staring at a blank page for two hours. (You can stop looking around. We aren't surveilling you, we've just been in the game awhile.) A wedding vows template definitely helps with the writing process, so if you didn't have one at first, don't beat yourself up. You're not the first person to struggle with transforming life-altering emotions into succinct, coherent words.

But forget your temporary inability to write passionate words about your future spouse, we have just what you need. Find inspiration using the wedding vow outline, template and list of questions we created below to make your affirmations special. Once you get a little rhythm going, you'll have plenty of deep, funny and personalized vows finished in no time, we pinky promise.

In this article:

Wedding Vow Outline

Printable vow template, questions to help guide your personal vows.

Figuring out how to write down all your feelings about your soon-to-be spouse can feel like a daunting task—there are so many things to say. That's why we asked Katelyn Peterson, a professional vow writer and owner of Katelyn's Wedding Words , to create an outline (written below) for couples to follow.

• Start by detailing a specific memory that brought you to this moment. For example, it could be the first time you met, your first date or your first impression.
• Communicate traits you admire about your partner and qualities you appreciate about your relationship.
• List specific promises. Promises are what make vows. Be sure to include three to six. And feel free to vary the tone between sweet and serious and playful and funny.
• State why you're excited about your future.
• Close with a loving last line.

Here is the super simplified printable wedding vows outline too.

Want a fun way to write your wedding vows? Try this Mad Libs-style personal vows template to help get you started on the right path. Feel free to add silly words at first to put you in a more relaxed mood. After, take some time to fill in the blanks with everything unique to your and your future spouse's relationship. We guarantee no two wedding vow templates will look the same.

Yes, we did create an easy wedding vow format for you but don't forget to be yourself in your speech. Peterson agrees and wants to-be-weds to remember "to write in your own voice so your personality comes through." So as inspiration and to make you feel like you're not writing from scratch, here are 22 questions to ask yourself while writing your vows.

1. What is the tone or vibe you want your vows to have?

"This is a great question to ask before you even start writing as it determines the direction you take," Peterson says. Do you want your vows to be silly, serious or hybrid? Answer this question, and writing your vows will be a little easier.

2. What did you think about when you first met?

When it comes to love stories , there's no better place to start than at the beginning. Describing how you first met and what went through your head at that moment is a tale your loved ones (and partner) will love hearing about on your special day.

Fill-in-the-Blank Template: When we met at __________, I thought/knew __________.

3. When did you first fall in love?

Was it when they brought your grandmother flowers on her birthday, surprised you with a home-cooked dinner after a tough day at work or watched your favorite movie with you for the hundredth time? When you realized this was the big L-O-V-E, did you feel struck with a lightning bolt or like you were being covered with a warm blanket? The more detail you can provide, the more touching and meaningful the story. "This question will help you come up with your introduction," Peterson adds.

Fill-in-the-Blank Template: I knew I was in love when ____________.

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4. how has your partner inspired you.

"This will provide material for traits you admire about them," Peterson notes. Is there something about your partner you like that makes you want to improve something in yourself? What do you most respect about your partner? Put everything you can think of in your personal wedding vow template.

Fill-in-the-Blank Template: Your ability/willingness to ___________ has shown me how to be___________.

5. Why are you entering the bond of marriage?

Think about why marrying your partner is so special. You may be surprised how the answer to this question leads you to the perfect words.

Fill-in-the-Blank Template: To me, marriage is ___________. With you, it's ___________.

6. How has your view of the world changed since meeting them?

Finding the right person can expand how you see everything and everyone around you. Since you've met and fallen in love, think about what experiences you've shared that changed your worldview.

Fill-in-the-Blank Template: Because of you, I see the world __________.

7. What about them do you miss when you're apart?

There's often something simple about a loved one we miss when they aren't around. This may be a smile, a gentle touch or an act of kindness, like when your partner brings you a cup of coffee every morning.

Fill-in-the-Blank Template: When we are apart, I miss __________.

8. How do you envision your future?

"When you imagine your life together, you create a goal in your vows that you want to work toward achieving," Peterson says. Go beyond thinking, "Happily married in a big house." What are your long-term hopes, dreams and goals? And remember, it could be as simple as enjoying the sunset on a pair of Adirondack chairs or as deep as being there for each other when times get tough.

Fill-in-the-Blank Template: I can't wait to __________with you.

9. What will keep your marriage strong?

No matter how many personalized wedding vows templates you see, there will always be a point where you have to get serious and think about how you will contribute to making the marriage strong. Dig deep and find the bedrock of your relationship.

Fill-in-the-Blank Template: I know that even when life gets hard, you and I will __________ because __________.

10. Is there a line from a movie, television show, song or poem that says it all?

It's definitely okay to borrow song lyrics, wedding movie quotes , wedding vow poems and steal a line or two from your favorite television show as long as it's not too much of a cliche. Modify something familiar to personalize it.

Fill-in-the-Blank Template: Whenever I see you ________, I think, "God only knows what I'd be without you."

11. What funny or touching experience put your partner in a new light?

12. what goals and values do you both have.

Stating your common bond may expose your inner Wordsworth. These ties, whether it's your shared faith or your mutual love of traveling abroad, will help demonstrate why you're a perfect pair.

Fill-in-the-Blank Template: We share ___________, so together we can ___________.

13. How has your partner changed you for the better?

Most individuals try to choose a partner who improves their inner self. Has your soon-to-be spouse taught you to be kinder or more considerate, helped you develop a new skill or talent or inspired you to speak out more for yourself or on behalf of others?

Fill-in-the-Blank Template: Before I met you, I ___________. Now I ___________.

14. How will you change together?

Most likely, you know what your and your partner's goals are. Think about the steps both of you will need to take to reach them as a team.

Fill-in-the-Blank Template: I look forward to ___________ as we __________.

15. What metaphor or simile would capture your love?

You might laugh because this can feel a little corny, but it definitely helps if you feel stuck during the writing process. Brainstorm things that describe or define your love.

Fill-in-the-Blank Template: Our love is like a ___________ because it ___________.

16. What promise can you make to solidify and encapsulate your devotion?

Here's another opportunity to personalize your wedding vows template. So many couples pledge their endless love, but how many promise to take the dog out in the morning, even in the snow, or to always pause the television show they're watching while their partner gets up for a glass of water?

Fill-in-the-Blank Template: I promise to always ___________.

17. What do you expect out of married life?

Defining your expectations will help you make and keep promises. Think about your dreams and what you'll have to vow to do to make them come true.

Fill-in-the-Blank Template: I know our marriage will ___________ and I vow to ___________.

18. What words do you associate with love?

Make a list of romantic terms that way you can avoid overusing the word "love." Too much repetition can dilute its power.

Fill-in-the-Blank Template: My devotion/adoration/passion for you is ___________.

19. What are you most looking forward to about married life?

The wedding is just the beginning of an amazing journey. Maybe you can't wait to raise a family with your partner. Or you're psyched to have a built-in plus-one (that you're totally in love with) for the rest of your life. Be funny, be sentimental, but no matter what you do, say whatever feels right.

Fill-in-the-Blank Template: I look forward to ___________ as we embark on ___________.

20. Do parts of the traditional vows resonate with you?

Maybe you're not about that whole "obey" part. So why not go with love, cherish and [insert the third vow here] for your speech?

Fill-in-the-Blank Template: I promise to cherish and honor you ____________, (but add a time frame and funny reference for levity) all the days of my life, especially when curled up on the couch with takeout.

21. How long are my vows?

"This is a question you should not only ask yourself, but you should also ask your fiancé(e) . Ensure you're aligned on the length so that one of your vows isn't dramatically different than the others. I recommend that vows are between two to five minutes," Peterson advises.

22. Is this more appropriate for my vows, a wedding date letter or a thank you speech?

"Sometimes we have ideas for things we want to say on our wedding day, but your vows aren't always the best channel for that material. If the information is too detailed or personal, put it in a private letter for your fiance to read. If you want to thank people or talk about wedding planning, communicate this in a thank you speech that you'll recite during the reception," Peterson encourages. It's always good to edit yourself and reflect on whether your wedding vows are suitable for the time and your audience.

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In This Article

Wedding Vows Outline

Tips for writing wedding vows, how to start wedding vows, words ending in vow, ways to personalize wedding vows, wedding vows template, wedding vows examples.

• Wedding Party & Reception

How to Write Wedding Vows (Examples And Template)

moniquehesslerweddings via instagram

Have you and your fiance decided to write your own wedding vows? Are you unsure of how to get started? The following article will discuss how to write wedding vows. As well, we will provide you with examples of different types of wedding vows.

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Brides Often Ask

What are wedding vows.

They are a lifetime pledge to commit your heart and your life fully to your partner. You can use traditional vows or compose your own and speak from the heart.

Who says vows first – man or woman?

Traditionally, the groom will say his vows first. But the bride can go first or both can say the vows in unison. The order is not as important as the spoken vow itself. However, it is important to decide whom will go first before the ceremony, to avoid any awkwardness.

How Long Should Wedding Vows Be?

That is a very good question. Of course, you want to be able to express your love for your partner and you could probably go on for hours. However, it is wise to keep your vows to around two minutes max.

The wedding ceremony itself will probably run around thirty minutes including the blessing, the ring ceremony, etc. So both you and your partner should take about 2 minutes each for your vows to keep with the pace of the ceremony. Remember, you will have the rest of your lives together to express your love.

blue_note_weddings via Instagram

When composing your wedding vows, the first thing to remember is that you should speak from the heart. However, trying to put this on paper might be challenging for some. Following is a guide for wedding vow structure to you overcome your fears and doubts. Keep in mind that this is a guide and you can alter it to make it more personal.

• Take a look back at your relationship

You can start with words that capture the beautiful memories of your relationship.

Example: “I know this is true because the moment you walked up to me on the beach that day, you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen!”

• Share sentimental qualities

Express the good qualities you always see in your partner.

Example: “There are too many qualities to mention. You are extremely thoughtful,with you, every day is special. You keep me on my toes with your happy-go-lucky attitude.”

• “I love you because…”

Express the reasons why you love your partner.

Example: “I love you because you make me laugh even when I’m sad. You don’t dare leave me even when I’m mad.”

• Make a few promises

In conclusion, recite your promises to your partner.

Example: “I, Brian, take you, Caitlin, to be my wife. “To love forever, as long as I have breath. To be yours as long as we shall live.”

50 Best Wedding Readings For Your Ceremony

When writing your own wedding vows, you must structure them in a way that flows seamlessly. See the ultimate wedding vow tips below.

• Begin by stating what your partner means to you Name what they represent in your life. They could be a lover, friend, confidant, and all.
• State what it is you love most about them Why did you decide to spend forever with your partner? What’s that trait(s) that turns you on and assures you that you’ve chosen right?
• Tell a story Bring this love to life by illustrating it in a story. A memorable personal and intimate story you can’t forget.
• Make promises and personalize them Promise your spouse that you’ll always be with them. Be specific about the things you hope to do with your spouse. Learn the art of personalizing wedding vows by throwing in some humor or romance.
• Reassure and show eagerness to the future Promise your partner once again that you’ll be there no matter what life brings. Remind them that you are ready to walk into the future with them. Tell them that you have a lot of wins to experience together.
• Wrap up with one last promise about never parting till death.

siempreweddings via Instagram

If you are still unsure how to start wedding vows, remember that you are speaking to the person with whom you are spending the rest of your life. Sure, your friends and family will hear you exchange your vows. But they are really only for you and your fiancé. Start off by telling them how much they mean to you. If you are both enjoy humor, you can start off with a joke, or include a funny story of you as a couple. Keep it personal and to the point.

Sara, we have known each other since we were toddlers. Our parents used to joke about us getting married, but we both thought they were crazy. Then one day, in our teens, I fell in love with you. And I knew at that moment that they were right.

kreativwedding via Instagram

Still, unsure of what you want to say in your vows to make them stand out? You could always include words ending in a vow. “I make this my solemn vow” “Today I pledge my love to you in this sacred vow.” This will help give you some inspiration to use as a starting point.

Connor, I today I pledge my love eternal. I will love you every second of every day. My every thought shall be of you and our life together. I will love you until the day I die. Let this be my solemn vow!

Personalizing wedding vows is perhaps one of the best ways to make your vows memorable. You don’t just want to ramble on endlessly or sound as though you are reciting a rehearsed speech. Again, the key to writing your own wedding vows is to speak from your heart.

Following are some ways you can personalize your wedding vows. Don’t be afraid to be happy if you are a hopeless romantic. But we have also included some examples of non-sappy wedding vows quotes for him .

• Use humor: Start off with a funny story from your relationship, maybe about how you met. Again, you don’t want to embarrass your partner so if you are not sure whether they want you to share a certain story, you should ask them first.
• Use song lyrics: Do the two of you have a certain song that symbolizes your relationship? You can quote a line or two from that song in your vows and explain the significance of the lyrics.
• Use movie (or television) quotes: Are you both a fan of romantic movies? Do you have a favorite movie quote that sums up your relationship or is meaningful to you as a couple? Incorporate this into your vows. If you can’t think of a movie, you can quote a line from your favorite television show as a couple.
• Use literature: Are either of you poetry buffs? Quote a few lines from your favorite love poem. Or recite a passage from your favorite novel. Just make sure that is the line that your partner will understand.

If you are still stuck, you can search for vow quotes online, or paraphrase one of the examples we have provided in this article for inspiration.

I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.

11 Wedding Ceremony Outlines (Bonus: Free Templates)

Look at this wedding vows template-free as a simple guideline, not as rules set in stone.

1. What marriage means to you

Think about what marriage means to you, the reason you have chosen to be with this person, and put it in words. You can include your favorite line from a song, poem, or book.

2. Reference your relationship

Look back on your relationship and the important moments and milestones that you had together. Perhaps the first time you met, your first kiss or first fight. Or even the moment you knew that your partner was the one. Incorporate this in your vows.

3. Be sentimental

This is where you really get in touch with your feelings. Talk about the great qualities of your partner that bring out the best in you, and how this matches with your qualities. Compliment your partner like never before.

4. “I Love You Because…”

This is a great phrase to start this part of your vows with. Here you can indicate all of the reasons you love your partner. All the reasons you have chosen to spend forever with them.

5. Make the promises

Whether it’s serious, funny, or sentimental. You know the promises you are making to your partner. End your vows by reciting these promises and promising that they will be forever.

Traditional Wedding Vow Template

The timeless nature of traditional wedding vows makes them sturdy templates across races, cultures, and beliefs. See some examples below.

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wife/husband; to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish always

In the presence of God and these our friends, I take thee to be my wife/husband, promising with divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband/wife so long as we both shall live.

I vow you the first cut of my meat, the first sip of my wine, from this day it shall only your name I cry out in the night and into your eyes that I smile each morning; I shall be a shield for your back as you are for mine, not shall a grievous word be spoken about us, for our marriage is sacred between us and no stranger shall hear my grievance. Above and beyond this, I will cherish and honor you through this life and into the next.

Funny Surprise Wedding Vows

For funny surprise wedding vows, take your partner totally unawares. Give a hint of stories you’d likely share and see that it’s okay by them. But think outside the box and add some humor. Make them laugh while telling them they mean the world to you.

I promise not to hog the remote control or force you to watch chick flicks unless I then agree to watch an action movie in exchange.

Dear _____, I promise to put the toilet seat down, listen to gossip about the neighbors and not ignore you when the Lakers are playing.

I promise not to hide when your parents come over. I vow not to steal the covers at night and not to turn the heat up too high

Wedding Vows For A Long-Term Relationship

Writing wedding vows for a long-term relationship can be quite overwhelming. For whatever reasons both of you waited to get married, your love sustained you. Your love brought you this far and it’s one to celebrate. Talks about the highs and lows, the wins, and how much you’re meant to be. Make promises to stay together forever. The same goes for anniversaries. How far you’ve come is a reason to celebrate.

Today marks 50 years since we first said: “I do.” We built a home together, raised our children and watched them raise theirs. We laughed, we cried, and we survived many hurdles together as a couple. As I look into your eyes, I still see the young man who was quite scared to ask me to the movies. I am so glad I said yes then and I will continue to say yes for the rest of our lives!

We have been together through thick and thin. We started dating in high school, stayed together while we both attended separate colleges, and then spend a year pursuing our careers. Now, we are finally joining our lives together to live out everything we have planned for years. It was worth the wait because we are going to have the perfect marriage and spend the rest of our days together as husband and wife.

Wedding Vows For Him

Whether you’re learning how to make wedding vows or you’re getting inspired by a source, personalize it. Pick out something that relays your message while representing the bare essence of your love. Our wedding vows examples are the perfect template. Use as s or modify to suit.

I vow to make my life forever yours and build my dreams around you.

Dear _____, I promise to be the man that I see now in your eyes, today, tomorrow, and for always.

I vow to always protect you from harm, to stand with you against your troubles, and look to you when I need protection

Wedding Vows For Her

It’s your wedding and you want to serenade your partner with a vow that’s unforgettable. Take inspiration from books, literature, movies, or just cook up yours. It’s also fine to get sentimental without sounding cheesy. Bottom line is to make it come straight from the heart. The examples below will inspire you.

I promise to laugh with you and to laugh at myself.

You are the love of my life and I am proud to marry you. I promise to support your dreams and to be there for you for all eternity.

I vow to be a loving and devoted wife, without judgment, without scorn, but always with an open heart and mind

We hope that you have found some inspiration and guidance with our advice on how to write wedding vows. Remember, these are your wedding vows so don’t let anyone else influence you. Speak from the heart and you will be fine!

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The Wedding Vows Template You Totally Need (Admit It)

We know that finding the right words to recite is NOT the easiest feat, so we've put together a wedding vows template to help you write the most memorable words.

Amanda Hedgepeth Photography

With over one-third of couples writing their own wedding vows, it’s something you and your partner should consider. If you’re not the best at writing your deepest feelings (who is?) you might need a wedding vows template to help get you started—and that’s totally okay. Using guidelines for your wedding vow structure isn’t cheating—it’s just helping you organize your thoughts in an effective way, so that you’ll be comfortable and confident in front your family members and friends on the big day.

Check out our easy, five-step wedding vows template to get started creating something meaningful and personal for your ceremony.

Step one: be timeless with a twist.

When it comes to this wedding vows template, we recommend starting out by talking about what marriage means to you . Consider including one of your favorite lines from a book, poem, or song as part of your wedding vow structure. Keep this part short, but allow it to introduce the fact that you’re here to marry your beloved. Example: I, Brian, take you, Caitlin, to be my wife. “You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough.” - George Moore

Step Two: Reference Some Relationship Highlights

Now it’s time to take a look back at your relationship. How long have you been together? Three years, six years, maybe even more? Try to recall all of those relationship “firsts” you experienced together as a team: the first time you got the courage to call, the first time you went on a dinner date, the first time you held hands, the first time you brought your better half home to meet your folks , the first time you actually argued (and apologized), and the first time you talked about forever. A wedding vows template is not complete without sharing some memorable moments from throughout your relationship. Example: I know this is true because the moment you walked up to me on the beach during Memorial Day, you brought butterflies to my stomach that never left—literally!

Porterhouse Los Angeles

Step Three: Share Sentimental Qualities

If you're writing your wedding vows, talk about how your partner brings out the best in you , and vice versa (you can brag a bit here if you desire!). For example, one person might possess a quiet, shy demeanor, while the other might possess a louder, outgoing demeanor. Compliment your beloved on all the ways they have made you who you are in this world. Example: There are too many qualities that come to my mind. One, you are extremely thoughtful. You treat every day like it is a special occasion to celebrate with cake and cupcakes. Two, you are extremely faithful. You would not hurt a fly. And three, you are extremely adventurous. You keep me on my toes with your happy-go-lucky attitude.

Step Four: Include "I Love You Because..."

You could shout these three words from the rooftop a lot: “I LOVE YOU!”—so it’s a must in this wedding vows template. If you are searching for a little inspiration, we recommend picking up a copy of What I Love About You By Me by Knock Knock. It contains fun fill-in-the-blank lines to help you describe your affection at the altar. Example: I love you because you make me laugh when you clean. Despite my messiness, I am thankful that you keep our home lemon-breeze scented. You are always prepared to whip out a Lysol wipe in times of need.

Step Five: Make Your Promises

Before you seal the deal will a smooch, make a few promises for the future. You might be (barely) holding back tears by the end of your exchange, so feel free to add a bit of humor  to your wedding vow structure if you'd like! Example: I promise to give you the remote on the days you want to watch The Real Housewives of New York, I promise to let you sneak a box of Cheez-Its as a late-night snack, and I promise to let you go to bed early like a grandma, even on the weekends.

Related WeddingWire Articles

How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows: Easy 10-Step Template & Guide

• Post author: Brittany
• Post published: May 10, 2020
• Post category: Readings & Vows / Wedding Planning

There are honestly MANY ways of writing your own wedding vows and almost no way you do it will be the “wrong way.” As long as YOU’RE the one writing it and you’re speaking the truth (and it’s not 10 minutes long…), it’s going to be beautiful… trust me.

But I know that many people still torture themselves stressing out over their vows. And that’s because we’ve all put unnecessary high expectations of perfection on ourselves when it comes to vows — perfection that nobody else wants or expects. Your vows are simply a two-minute (ish) expression of love for your partner and a promise to continue doing your best to love them, through good times and bad.

So in this post, I’m going to give you a QUICK AND EASY 10-Step process and template for writing your own wedding vows. 🙂 Plus, at the bottom of this post, I’ll give you an example vows that use this template. It’s gonna be GREAT!! Even if you hate writing, you can do it! And the best part: This can all be done in ONE HOUR.

That’s right. 60 minutes to get your perfect, beautiful, amazing vows written using this template and process, with little to no stress. All you have to do is commit to one hour and put everything else aside, including social media… for just that one hour.

Here’s the video I made on my YouTube Channel explaining the 10-Step vow-writing process! I have lots of videos on my YouTube discussing all sorts of wedding stuff — check it out! 🙂

HOW LONG SHOULD MY WEDDING VOWS BE? The perfect length for wedding vows is about 3 minutes or less each. Short and sweet is always preferred to long and rambling.

Try to follow the time markers that I’ve set. Write in the time allotted and DON’T TRY TO BE PERFECT! Concentrate on getting done, let the words flow out, and don’t worry about whether what you’re writing is “good” or not! That’s very important for getting in touch with your authentic feelings. Don’t think and fret too much. Just write within the time constraints! Okay, let’s do it!

*Note: You will have to read over this list first, before beginning writing your vows, so that you can prepare the “supplies” that you’ll need… then re-read when you’re ready to begin writing. GOOD LUCK!

Here is the 10-Step Template for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows in Just ONE HOUR (Followed By FULL explanations below):

Step 1: set a date.

• Step 2: Go on that Date and Set a Timer for ONE HOUR

Step 3: Discuss & Agree On Parameters/Rules: 10 Minutes

• Step 4: Start Your Music Playlist and Get Writing
• Step 5: Express Love for the Witnesses (1-2 Sentences) : 10 Minutes
• Step 6: Tell a Love Story (4-6 Sentences) : 15 Minutes
• Step 7: Express Love For Particular Qualities (4-6 Sentences): 15 Minutes
• Step 8: Make Realistic Promises (4-6 Sentences): 10 Minutes
• Step 9: Don’t Forget to Say “I Love You”

Step 10: Practice Out Loud

After reading this article, I highly recommend you also read my article on How to Create a Unique Wedding Ceremony and my 10-Step Guide on How to Write the Perfect Wedding Ceremony Script (with sample scripts) 🙂

This is important!! Step 1 is to set a date with your partner to get this task done. Discuss a date, agree on it (the date and the hour) and put it on the calendar for about one month before your wedding. Stay with me!

We set a date for almost every other wedding detail that we have to get done, including florals, the DJ, and a great number of other meetings we set with vendors and the venue… but we often leave the wedding vows, the HEART of our event, to the last minute. And that’s because we think it’s hard and so we avoid it!

But it doesn’t have to be something you dread. In fact, it can be FUN! Set a date to do something you love, just the two of you. It can be a dinner date, going out to a bar, taking a hike, a mini road trip …anything! Maybe even a night in a hotel or a romantic night at home. Something that you can look forward to doing together.

For this date, in addition to whatever other fun things you do, you’re going to set one hour devoted to writing your vows together — well, not exactly TOGETHER. Because you still want to keep your vows secret from each other until your wedding ceremony. But you’ll be physically in the same space for accountability and moral support!

Bring your lap tops, or notebooks and pens, and a positive attitude 🙂

Step 2: Go On That Date & Set a Timer for ONE HOUR

Go on your date! Set aside your phones and any other distractions. If you have something on your mind nagging at you and you feel like you can’t concentrate, talk about what’s bothering you first before starting the timer for one hour.

Your mind should be as clear as possible — not thinking about work projects, family problems, things you have to get done, etc. etc… Try to be in a clear and positive state of mind before beginning.

And then set that timer for 60 minutes!

For the first 10 minutes (or less), discuss with your partner the parameters and “rules” of your wedding vows. You can save some time by having this discussion before the day-of if you want.

Your vows will be a secret from each other so it’s a good idea to discuss expectations before jumping in. A lot of the anxiety of writing wedding vows comes from the negative thought of “I don’t know if mine will be as good as yours.” Agreeing on rules beforehand will let you know what to expect from each other and should give you some relief.

Here’s what you should agree on together:

• Decide on the tone and mood that you want your vows to have. Do you want them to be funny, serious, romantic, sweet? A mixture of these emotions? Should we avoid sharing embarrassing stories and/or inside jokes, or are we okay with these things?
• Decide on the length of your vows. Wedding vows should be no longer than 3 minutes per partner, or they start to drag on a bit too much. You can each agree to speak for about 2 minutes, or about 250-500 words (if you’re typing your vows). Or you can each stick to the template outlined in this post and your vows should be about the same length. Once you get to Step 10, it’s a good idea to have a third party read both sets of vows (or better, listen to both sets of vows) to ensure that they’re both about the same length.

Step 4: Start a Music Playlist and Get Writing

This is one thing you should remember to take with you on your date: a music playlist of songs that are special to you and your partner or that just make you think of your partner.

Ideally, you would each bring your own music/playlist. If you’re putting together a playlist or some songs for your wedding anyway, you can just use that!

It’s an optional step, but I wouldn’t skip it. Listening to music before or while you write your vows will put you in an optimal mood for writing these oh-so-special words! Press play and let’s get going… 50 more minutes!

It’s time to get writing! KEEP THESE TIPS IN MIND for the next steps:

• You’re going to be able to read your vows. It’s perfectly acceptable and expected. So don’t bother or worry about memorizing them. This can lead to totally unnecessary stress on your wedding day! Not to mention, freezing and rambling. Just read! It’s okay.
• Be yourself and use language that you would normally choose. Some people try to be too formal, or crack too many jokes, or just generally be someone who they usually aren’t. Try to just write/speak in a way that feels natural to you.
• If you’re getting married in a particular religious or cultural tradition, talk to your officiant beforehand and ask what’s expected in terms of vows. Can you even write your own vows? Can you incorporate your own vows into the traditional vows?
• In some states/provinces, you have to say specific words in your vows to be legally married. Find out on your local government website if there are particular words you must say during your vows, and see if you can then incorporate your own vows into this procedure.
• Finally, talk to your officiant about vows that they’ve heard in the past that worked well and get inspired by vows online and from YouTube videos. You don’t have to completely reinvent the wheel, but don’t copy vows directly from the internet either… because they won’t sound like you. And the whole joy of writing your own vows is the personalization that they add to your wedding ceremony.

Step 5: Express Love for the Witnesses (1-2 Sentences): 10 Minutes

The idea is to start your vows with a sentence or two, or a phrase that welcomes and expresses love for your guests who are present. By doing this, you invite everyone into your vows right from the beginning and make them feel recognized and special for being a part of this moment.

So you could begin by saying something like, “[NAME], I’m marrying you here today in front of our closest friends and family, people who have been part of our journey in one way or another throughout our lives… and I’m so happy to have everyone here with us today…”

Some variation of this sentiment realllllyyy lets everyone present feel seen and draws them into the moment even more.

Next, you’ll take about 15 minutes to write 4-6 sentences summarizing a “love story” of some kind between you and your partner. Some ideas include:

• How you two first met
• When you first knew that you loved your partner
• A hard time that you got through together
• A funny story from a vacation, school, work, or everyday life together

Describe what happened, and then how you FELT in those moments. In about 4-6 sentences! We humans love stories of any kind… we’re just designed that way! Stories resonate with us and stick in our memories.

So tell a story, very briefly, but with specific details (generalities are more boring and forgettable) and don’t forget to say how you felt.

In this step, you’ll express love for your favorite characteristics about your partner , in about 4-6 more sentences. What do you love about them? Their sense of humor, courage, passion? Examples:

• I love how you…
• I love that you…
• You’ve always been…
• It’s amazing to me that you…

Ideally, you would keep an ongoing note in your phone (or wherever) jotting down ideas whenever they pop into your head. And then you can just add those ideas to this part of your vows!

Now you’ll take about 10 minutes to write 4-6 sentences making promises to your partner. These are vows after all! In this part, you’ll simply write some of the things that you intend to do in your marriage.

Some should be light and cute (I promise to try and remember to unload the dishwasher… haha) and some more serious and romantic… but REALISTIC.

I suggest making these promises realistic because lofty or hyperbolic vows ring as phony and only lead to disappointment when they’re inevitably unfulfilled. You want to make your wedding vows promises that you can actually keep.

I recommend that you also promise to continue revisiting these promises every day, recognizing that today is not the only day that you have to make these vows.

This maybe seems obvious but it gets forgotten. Saying “I love you” to your partner during your vows is a good idea 🙂

Now you have your vows written! In an hour or less! Congratulations! And if you stayed within the writing constraint, that’s GREAT because it means you didn’t think too much… you just wrote what you felt without trying to be too perfect… and that’s PERFECT!

Some people like to write several drafts and rework their writing. There’s plenty of time for that if you want, because you’ve written your vows one month in advance! So if you’re unhappy with the first draft, don’t worry. There’s time to make it better. But at least you now have something to work with. And as you practice, you’ll realize whether or not your vows are too long (more than 3 minutes) and to shorten them by cutting out some sentences.

The last step is for you to PRACTICE YOUR VOWS ALOUD. You can say them to yourself, or even better — to a trusted friend. AND EVEN BETTER if that trusted friend can hear both you and your partner’s vows and give you guys the green light that they both work well together in tone and length.

Practicing, despite what some people may think, doesn’t make your vows sound less authentic. It just makes you feel more confident when you’re reading them on your wedding day. Strange emotions can surprise and come out of you during a time such as this and so you want to have felt those words come out of your mouth before the day of… just to get the jitters out at least a little bit. And also so you’ll have an idea of whether you’re going to get choked up!

VOW TIPS FOR MULTILINGUAL COUPLES

If you happen to be in a relationship that is bilingual or multilingual, and plan on having guests that only speak one of the two or more languages, vows can be more complicated. There are some creative ways of getting around this.

At my sister-in-law’s wedding, for example, one of them said their vows in French, one in English and then one of the readings was in Spanish. So all guests present at least understood part of the ceremony.

Another idea is to say your vows in whatever language you each feel most comfortable in (or just want to use) and then print your vows in the other common language and give out these little printed cards to each of your guests so that they can follow along no matter what language they speak.

Example Vows (Using the 10-Step Template)

Now that you’ve read about how to write your own vows, I’ll give you an example of what these vows might look like. This example uses the template described in detail above (Steps #5-9):

Use this example vow for inspiration, but write your own — obviously– so that they reflect you and your relationship:

EXAMPLE VOWS:

[NAME], I’m so excited that we can get married today in front of the people who mean the most to us in the world. The minute I saw you on the subway on my evening commute, in your baggy hoodie and messy bun, with no make-up on, I knew I was in trouble. I fell in love with you in that very moment. Thankfully, you took a chance on a goofy, fumbling dude asking you out on such a romantic place as the DC Metro. On our first date, over a mountain of frozen yogurt, I looked into your eyes and knew in that moment that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. You are the bravest person I know. You’re never afraid to try new experiences or grab at the chance to travel somewhere new. Your intelligence and wit challenges me and makes me excited each day to share new things with you. I love your kindness, humility, and your ability to turn every situation into a positive. Today, on our wedding day, and every other day of our lives, I promise to love you and care for you. Even when we’re old and grey. I promise to try my best every day, not growing complacent in our love but always striving to nurture it. I vow to be there for you when times aren’t rosy and to be your partner in all things. I love you.

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A Guide to Wedding Vows: How to Write Your Own

Writing your own wedding vows is one of the best ways to add a romantic and intimate touch to your wedding day. We’ll guide you through the process from start to finish, plus provide templates to help you get started.

By Emily Forrest and Rachel Varina

Inside this Article:

Traditional vow examples

Catholic wedding vows, eastern orthodox wedding vows, hindu wedding vows, interfaith wedding vows, jewish wedding vows, nondenominational wedding vows, muslim wedding vows, protestant wedding vows, presbyterian wedding vows, methodist wedding vows, baptist wedding vows, lutheran wedding vows, episcopal wedding vows, quaker wedding vows, universalist/unitarian wedding vows, buddhist wedding vows, native american wedding vows, how to write your own wedding vows, wedding vows frequently asked questions.

Trying to decide whether to write your own wedding vows or use a traditional template? What couples read during their marriage ceremony is a deeply personal choice. The good news is that there’s no wrong answer! Writing your own vows or adding unique touches to an existing set is a great way to personalize your ceremony , while traditional vows will always be timeless.

To give you a helping hand, we’ve added traditional and personalized examples of wedding vows from different religions and cultures. And if you’re planning to write your own, we’ve included a step-by-step guide to help from start to finish. Let’s begin!

Traditional wedding vows follow a specific format that varies by religion. Reciting the wedding vows (or their equivalent) symbolizes the moment when the couple commits themselves to each other and forms a married union.

Couples can recite different religious wedding vows in a variety of ways:

• Spoken as monologue, one at a time.
• Spoken first by the officiant then repeated back, in phrases, one after the other.
• Asked as a question by the officiant to each person getting married, with the reply “I do” or “I will.”

In Catholic ceremonies, the priest asks the couple three questions. They answer “yes” or “I will.” They then recite one of the sets of vows below.

• __and __, have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?
• Will you honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?
• Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?
• I, __, take you, __, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.
• I, __, take you, __, to be my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life.

These vows are typically only recited in traditional Russian ceremonies, as other branches of the Orthodox church call for silent vows or prayers.

I, __, take you, __, as my wedded wife/husband and I promise you love, honor and respect; to be faithful to you, and not to forsake you until death do us part. So help me God, one in the Holy Trinity and all the Saints.

The closest thing to traditional “vows” in a Hindu wedding ceremony are the Seven Steps (the Saptha Padhi), which the couple take together around a flame to honor the fire god Agni while reciting the following promises:

• Let us take the first step to provide for our household a nourishing and pure diet, avoiding those foods injurious to healthy living.
• Let us take the second step to develop physical, mental and spiritual powers.
• Let us take the third step to increase our wealth by righteous means and proper use.
• Let us take the fourth step to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love and trust.
• Let us take the fifth step so that we are blessed with strong, virtuous and heroic children.
• Let us take the sixth step for self-restraint and longevity.
• Finally, let us take the seventh step and be true companions and remain lifelong partners by this wedlock.
• I,___, take you, ___, to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life.
• I, ____, take you, ____, to be my wife/husband. To love and cherish, from this day forward, and thereto, I pledge you my trust—for as long as we both shall live.
• ___, I now take you to be my wedded wife/husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy relationship of marriage. I promise to love and comfort you, honor and keep you, and forsaking all others, I will be yours alone as long as we both shall live.

Jewish wedding ceremonies vary from rabbi to rabbi, and between Orthodox, Reform, and Conservative synagogues. Traditionally there are no spoken vows. The exchange of rings is the moment that symbolizes the couple’s commitment to each other. Two prayers are commonly said during the ring exchange—one more religious and one more contemporary:

• Haray at mekudeshet lee beh-taba'at zo keh-dat Moshe veh-Yisrael. (English translation: Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel.)
• Ani leh-dodee veh-dodee lee. (English translation: I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine.)

In addition to the ring exchange, many Jewish ceremonies also include the Seven Blessings (Sheva Berakhot), which the rabbi will recite. Here’s a translation from Hebrew:

• Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, Ruler of the universe, gladden the beloved companions as You gladdened Your creatures in the garden of Eden. Blessed are You, Adonai, Who gladdens this couple. Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, Ruler of the universe, Who created joy and gladness, loving couples, mirth, glad song, pleasure, delight, love, loving communities, peace, and companionship. Adonai, our God, let there soon be heard ... the voice of the loving couple, the sound of the their jubilance from their canopies and of the youths from their song-filled feasts. Blessed are You Who causes the couple to rejoice, one with the other.
• We bless God for creating joy and happiness, bride and groom, mirth song, gladness and rejoicing, love and harmony, peace and companionship; and we thank God for letting this bride and groom to rejoice together.
• I, __, take you, __, to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us.
• __, I take you as my wife/husband, with your faults and your strengths, as I offer myself to you with my faults and my strengths. I will help you when you need help, and turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life.
• I, __, choose you __ to be my husband/wife, to respect you in your successes and in your failures, to care for you in sickness and in health, to nurture you, and to grow with you throughout the seasons of life.
• I, __ give to you, __ my vow of sacred matrimony. I acknowledge our individuality and respect the natural space that will reside comfortably between us. I promise to bridge that space with open communication, silent understanding and heartfelt compassion. I promise to act loving so as to be loving. I promise to love passionately, argue fairly and support you unfailingly. I gladly accept the responsibilities that come with our relationship. I love you and pledge my fidelity all the days of our lives.

Rather than reciting vows, most Muslim couples listen to their officiant (also known as an imam, or cleric) speak about the significances and responsibilities that come with marriage, including their commitment to each other and to Allah. But for those couples who do choose to speak their own vows, they recite something similar to this common passage:

• Bride: I, __ offer you myself in marriage in accordance with the instructions of the Holy Quran and the Holy Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him. I pledge, in honesty and with sincerity, to be for you an obedient and faithful wife.
• Groom: I pledge, in honesty and sincerity, to be for you a faithful and helpful husband.

While different denominations within the Protestant church have slight variations in their traditional wedding vows, they are all similar to the following basic example. These vows might be the most familiar to many people.

I, __ , take thee, __ , to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith.

I, __ , take you, __ , to be my wife/husband, and I do promise and covenant, before God and these witnesses, to be your loving and faithful husband/wife in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live.

Will you have this woman/man to be your wife/husband, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor, and keep her/him in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her/him as long as you both shall live?

In the name of God, I, __ , take you, __ , to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

Will you, __ , have __ to be your wife/husband? Will you love her/him, comfort and keep her/him, and forsaking all others remain true to her/him, as long as you both shall live?

I, __ , take thee, to be my wife/husband, and before God and these witnesses I promise to be a faithful and true husband/wife.

I, __ , take you, to be my (wife/husband), and these things I promise you: I will be faithful to you and honest with you; I will respect, trust, help, and care for you; I will share my life with you; I will forgive you as we have been forgiven; and I will try with you better to understand ourselves, the world, and God; through the best and worst of what is to come, and as long as we live.

I take you, __ , to be my wife/husband from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us.

In the name of God, I, __ , take you, __ , to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

__ , wilt thou have this woman/man to be thy wedded wife/husband to live together after God's ordinance in the Holy Estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her/him? Comfort her/him, honor and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others keep thee only unto her/him as long as you both shall live?

In the presence of God and these our friends I take thee, __ , to be my husband/wife, promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband/wife so long as we both shall live.

The Unitarian Universalist Church allows its ministers to have their own control in writing wedding ceremonies, including the vows. Most will be similar to traditional Christian vows; here are some variations.

• I, __ , take you, __ , to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish always.
• __ , will you have this woman/man, __ , to be your wedded wife/husband, to live together in marriage, will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor her/him and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, so long as you both shall live?
• __ and __ , do you pledge to help each other develop and strengthen your hearts and minds, cultivating compassion, enthusiasm, patience, concentration and wisdom as you encounter the inevitable changes, expected and unexpected, welcome and unwelcome in your journey through life together?
• __ , will you take __ as your wife/husband, will you pledge to share your life openly with her/him, to speak the truth to her/him, in love? Will you promise to honor and tenderly care for her/him, to encourage her/him fulfillment as an individual through all the changes in your lives?

In a Buddhist wedding ceremony, the couple is making a higher pledge to truth, and thus may create their own wedding vows that reflect their pledge to reach this Truth together. After reciting the first prayer together or reading it silently, the couple then replies to the vows in unison when prompted by the wedding officiant.

Buddhist wedding prayer

Today we promise to dedicate ourselves completely to each other with body, mind and speech. In every situation of this life, in wealth or poverty, in health or sickness, in happiness or difficulty, we will work to help each other to develop our hearts and minds, cultivating compassion, generosity, ethics, patience, enthusiasm, concentration and wisdom. As we undergo the various ups and downs of life we will seek to transform them into the path of love, compassion, joy and equanimity. The purpose of our relationship will be to attain enlightenment by perfecting our kindness and compassion towards all beings.

• ____ and ____, do you pledge to help each other to develop your hearts and minds, cultivating compassion, generosity, ethics, patience, enthusiasm, concentration and wisdom as you age and undergo the various ups and downs of life and to transform them into the path of love, compassion, joy and equanimity?
• Recognizing that the external conditions in life will not always be smooth and that internally your own minds and emotions will sometimes get stuck in negativity. Do you pledge to see all these circumstances as a challenge to help you grow, to open your hearts, to accept yourselves, and each other; and to generate compassion for others who are suffering? Do you pledge to avoid becoming narrow, closed or opinionated, and to help each other to see various sides of situations?
• Understanding that just as we are a mystery to ourselves, each other person is also a mystery to us. Do you pledge to seek to understand yourselves, each other, and all living beings, to examine your own minds continually and to regard all the mysteries of life with curiosity and joy?
• Do you pledge to preserve and enrich your affection for each other, and to share it with all beings? To take the loving feelings you have for one another and your vision of each other's potential and inner beauty as an example and rather than spiraling inwards and becoming self absorbed, to radiate this love outwards to all beings?
• When it comes time to part, do you pledge to look back at your time together with joy-- joy that you met and shared what you have--and acceptance that we cannot hold on to anything forever?
• Do you pledge to remember the disadvantages of ignorance, anger and clinging attachment, to apply antidotes when these arise in your minds, and to remember the kindness of all other beings and your connection to them? Do you pledge to work for the welfare of others, with all of your compassion, wisdom and skill?
• Do you pledge to work to develop the wisdom understanding the relative functioning nature of things and the wisdom knowing their deeper way of existence that they are empty of inherent existence? And to remember the laws of cause and effect?
• Do you pledge day to day, to be patient with yourselves and others, knowing that change comes slowly and gradually, and to seek inspiration from your teachers not to become discouraged?
• Do you pledge to continuously strive to remember your own Buddha nature, as well as the Buddha nature of all living beings? To maintain the awareness that all things are temporary, and to remain optimistic that you can achieve your greatest potential and lasting happiness.

Most traditional Native American weddings do not contain a vow exchange, but the following wedding blessings are read aloud to the couple.

Apache wedding blessing

Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years, May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth. Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulties and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at one time or another, remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives - remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.

Cherokee wedding blessing

God in heaven above please protect the ones we love. We honor all you created as we pledge our hearts and lives together. We honor mother-earth - and ask for our marriage to be abundant and grow stronger through the seasons; We honor fire - and ask that our union be warm and glowing with love in our hearts; We honor wind - and ask we sail through life safe and calm as in our father's arms; We honor water - to clean and soothe our relationship - that it may never thirst for love; With all the forces of the universe you created, we pray for harmony and true happiness as we forever grow young together. Amen.

Shoshone wedding blessing

Fair is the white star of twilight, and the sky clearer at the day's end, but she is fairer, and she is dearer She, my heart's friend. Fair is the white star of twilight, and the moon roving to the sky's end; but she is fairer, better worth loving She, my heart's friend.

Inuit wedding blessing

You are my husband/wife My feet shall run because of you My feet shall dance because of you My heart shall beat because of you My eyes see because of you My mind thinks because of you And I shall love because of you.

Knowing where to start when writing your vows might be the toughest part. When staring at a blank sheet of paper, just getting a few words down can feel like a huge hurdle. You might be putting a lot of pressure on yourself to write the perfect set of sentences, considering your personal wedding vows are a reflection of your marriage and the promises you intend to keep for the rest of your days.

Katelyn, a fellow wedding expert and professional vow and speechwriter , suggests starting by describing your first impression of your fiancé. "This a nice way to begin your vows. Next, how do you want to make your spouse feel? Your answer can help inspire some of your specific promises. And lastly, what makes you most excited for your future? These details are a great way to end your vows.”

If you’re stuck getting started, follow these 11 steps to get your creative and romantic ideas flowing:

1. Start writing early

Do yourself a favor and give yourself plenty of time (this is a point we cannot stress enough). You may have months until your wedding day, but this is a task you don’t want to save for the last minute. By starting early, you’ll give yourself plenty of time to overcome any nervousness or writer’s block, revise your first draft, and practice reading vows aloud before your big day.

2. Establish your tone

Before you start writing, establish what sort of tone you want your wedding vows to have. Your marriage vows should reflect your personality, whether that’s quirky and romantic or more tear-prone and sentimental. Or maybe you’d rather keep your vows light and humorous. It doesn’t matter what style you choose; just make sure the tone for your personal wedding vows makes you happy and excited to share your words with your future spouse on your big day.

3. Seek out inspiration

Love is one of those confounding topics that humans grapple with constantly. How can we describe how love feels? How can we capture it through words? What does it mean to be in love? Thankfully, over the past few centuries, many famous poets, writers, playwrights, and screenwriters have come very, very close to getting to the heart of those questions through beautiful, relatable, and transcendent works of art.

Don’t let these resources go to waste when battling writer’s block or struggling to put your feelings down on paper. If there was ever a time to return to your favorite pieces of literature or beloved films, it’s now. Once you find something that speaks to you, try to mimic that sentiment in your own words or quote it verbatim in your personalized wedding vows.

4. Talk to your partner

Sit down and have a heartfelt talk with your fiancé(e) about your relationship, your feelings for each other, and your marriage goals. Discuss what you want your ceremony to feel like and how you’d like your relationship to be portrayed in front of friends and family. You might remind each other of special or defining moments in your relationship, or even come up with the very words you’ve been struggling to find.

5. Reflect alone

After your talk with your fiancé(e), find time to be alone and reflect on that conversation. Tackle the big questions, such as how he/she makes you feel, what inspires you about him/her, and how he/she has made a positive impact on your life. This is no easy task (hence why we recommend starting this process early), but once articulated, your responses will give you lots of material for your vows. A little bit of quiet meditation might just reveal the language you’ve been carrying deep in your heart.

6. Take trips down memory lane

Think back on special moments with your spouse-to-be, beyond some of the obvious ones like when you first met or your first kiss. What was the first trip you took together? When did you first make each other laugh so hard you cried? Think of your private jokes, hilarious stories, and even embarrassing moments. Whether or not you choose to mention these memories in your vows, remembering them will absolutely help you define what makes your relationship—and, thus, your vows—unique.

7. Don’t worry about what others think

When you start writing your own vows, it’s easy to wonder (and worry) what others will think about what you have to say. “Will guests think our inside jokes are dumb?” “Will they get bored if we go on too long?” “Will Grandma and Grandpa judge us for foregoing traditional vows?” We know it’s hard not to take your guests into account after addressing and sending all those save the dates, but your ceremony is no one’s but yours and your partner’s. Let your personal vows reflect who you are together and what you want to celebrate about your relationship.

8. Create an outline

Without organization, your personalized wedding vows can easily turn into stream-of-consciousness rambling. Stay on track by crafting a brief outline that will organize your thoughts chronologically or thematically and ensure your vows have a clear beginning and end.

Something as simple as the following will do just fine:

• Intro: funny anecdote
• Your thoughts/feelings when you first met your partner
• Your thoughts/feelings when you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him/her
• What those feelings mean to you today
• Where you see your relationship going after your wedding day

9. Keep it short and sweet

When it comes to the perfect wedding vows, often less is more. Don’t feel pressured to write lengthy vows when a few short, from-the-heart thoughts can be just as moving. After you’ve finished writing, it’s a great idea to practice speaking your vows aloud while timing yourself. If you go over two minutes, try cutting them back. We know 120 seconds doesn’t seem like much time, but when it comes to speaking in public, that minute will last a whole lot longer than you expect.

10. Include sincere and meaningful promises

Wedding vows are, in essence, a list of promises that you make to your partner. Whether it’s loving him/her always or guaranteeing that you’ll do the dishes every Monday and Wednesday night, your vows should incorporate every specific promise you swear to uphold, and demonstrate the sacrifices you are willing to make as an equal half of your union.

11. Share them with a loved one

We also recommend sharing a draft of your vows with someone you trust, such as the wedding officiant or someone close to you. This lets them assess the overall tone, approach, and length of both of your vows. After all, you wouldn’t want to share all the same anecdotes as your SO.

12. Think to the future

In addition to making promises, make sure that your vows also include a look to the future of your relationship. Where will you go from “I do?” What do you expect or want your marriage to look like a year from now? Fifteen? Fifty? What will you do to keep your bond strong over the years? Even if the phrase “’til death do us part” doesn’t make the cut, don’t forget to anticipate the joys and challenges of marriage ahead. These important details will both guide the promises we mentioned above and give weight to your wedding vows.

13. Speak from your heart

Above all, your wedding vows are about expressing your true feelings about, and to, the person you’re about to spend the rest of your life with. When it comes right down to it, nothing is more important than saying what you truly feel in a style, length, and tone that defines your and your partner’s relationship.

Still have questions about wedding vows? Check out our answers to your most-asked questions about wedding vows below.

What are wedding vows?

Wedding vows are promises a couple makes to each other during their wedding ceremony. Spoken aloud from one partner to the other, they describe the love felt between the couple and voice their intentions—in front of a room full of witnesses—for how they plan to think, feel, and act towards each other during their marriage. Vows aren’t legally required for a marriage service, but they’re often included in traditional marriage ceremonies and for religious services.

How long should wedding vows be?

There’s no hard-and-fast rule about how long wedding vows should be, but most traditional vows run anywhere from 15 seconds to 1 minute per person. If you’re writing your own vows, remember that what’s most important is what you say, not how long it takes to say it. Whether it takes 30 seconds or 3 minutes, make sure you keep your vows focused on expressing all that you want to share from your heart.

Should you write your own wedding vows?

Writing your own wedding vows is a personal decision for every couple. You might love the freedom to express yourselves in your own words, or you might be terrified at the idea of having to put your feelings into words on paper (and then share them with everyone you know). Here are some questions you and your partner should ask each other when deciding whether you should write your own vows:

• Do we feel comfortable sharing our intimate feelings in front of our friends, family, and guests?
• Do we have the time and dedication to actually sit down and write wedding vows ourselves?
• Do we feel comfortable departing from the traditional vows of our religion(s)?
• Will we both take this task seriously as part of our wedding planning?
• Will we have enough time to draft our vows, edit them, and practice them in the months before our wedding?

For more tips on wedding vow prep and how to create a ceremony that stands the test of time, check out our resources on the history of wedding vows and how long your wedding vows should be .

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How to write wedding vows that wow.

Wedding vows can be particularly meaningful when you write them yourself, but sometimes it’s hard to know where to start. But not if you start here! Our wedding vow writing tips, template and examples will help you organize your thoughts and express what’s really in your heart.

Inspired? Create and share by tagging @hallmarkstores .

Part 1: The Declaration of Love  

Make a simple statement about who s/he is to you. For example:

• “Aisha, you are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”
• “Matt, you are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
• “Sam, you are my very best friend.”

Say a few things about why s/he’s so wonderful. Things like:

• “You are kind and caring, and one smile from you brightens my whole day.”
• “You are dependable, yet full of surprises, and you are beautiful inside and out.”
• “You make me laugh, you make me think, you make me pancakes, and you make me happy.”

Now say you love him/her.

• “I am completely and totally in love with you.”
• “You stole my heart, and I want you to keep it forever.”
• “I love you so much, and I can’t believe how lucky I am to be standing here with you today.”

Nice work! On to the next part!

Part 2: The Promises  

Make promises about what you will do for your partner. Think about the ways love shows itself, day in and day out…through support, trust, words, actions, gifts, time and attention. If you are religious, you’ll probably also want to include language about your faith. Here are some examples:

• “In front of God and our friends and family, I promise to stand by you and to stand up for you, to laugh with you and never laugh at you, and to do everything I can to make you happy.”
• “I pledge to accept you as you are, to respect you as an equal and to encourage your dreams and passions.”
• “I promise to be loving, patient and faithful. I will be the very best husband I can be to you and the very best father I can be to Jacob and Taylor.”

Now think about some of the things you will do with your partner.

• “With you, I’ll create a peaceful, happy home and a loving family.”
• “I will grow old with you—and never stop growing with you.”
• “I’ll be your partner on all of life’s adventures.”

Promise to be there in bad times as well as good…

• “When you’re sad, I’ll comfort you, and when you’re happy, I’ll share your joy…”
• “Through hard times and good times, through sickness and health, I’ll always be at your side…”
• “I will love you through sunshine and storms…”

For a very, very long time.

• “…for all the days of my life.”
• “…as long as we both shall live.”
• “…for all eternity.”

After you have a rough draft of your vows following this template, you may decide to combine, add or subtract some things. The important thing is to have wedding vows that are meaningful to you both and that will suit your relationship and the future you’ll build together.

Stacey Donovan has been a writer and editor at Hallmark for more than 20 years. She also writes romance novels (under a pseudonym), and has collected a wealth of obscure knowledge in the process.

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How to Write the Perfect Wedding Vows

By Shelby Wax

A wedding ceremony can take many forms. A couple may choose to have music performed as they glide down a flower-lined aisle, or keep things simple at a courthouse. A religious officiant could provide blessings, or a friend might give an original speech about the couple. At the core of every wedding, however, are the vows exchanged and agreed to by saying “I do.” While many choose to follow a traditional script prompted by their officiant (“in sickness and health,” or “til death do us part”), an increasing number of newlyweds prefer to recite an original set of vows—words they’ve written to reflect the unique qualities of their relationship, and their promises for one another as they begin the next phase of life as a married couple.

If you don’t often put pen to paper to share your emotions, writing your original wedding vows might sound like a daunting task. Ahead, we asked two professional vow writers (yes, you can hire someone to help!) to share their tips on how to create your own personal wedding vows that both you and your partner will enjoy reciting—and listening to—on your big day. 

What to Include in Your Wedding Vows

While vows can run the gamut from a short paragraph to an original song, most follow a basic structure and length. Wedding vow and speech writer Katelyn Peterson advises the following breakdown: “Address your partner and briefly recap your love story, communicate traits that you admire about your partner, describe what you appreciate about your relationship, list three to six specific promises, and close with how you envision your future together.” She suggests that the total time should run from two to five minutes. “Brevity is best so when possible, make your vows on the shorter side,” she adds.

Tips for Writing Your Wedding Vows

Condensing all your memories, love, and hopes for your partner into a few minutes isn’t an easy task, so professional vow writers advise you to take your time with the process. Tanya Pushkine of The Vow Whisperer suggests beginning your brainstorming up to three months before the wedding so you aren’t too overwhelmed with other planning tasks. “A person needs time to be creative,” she says. “If you get into a rut, leave it alone for a few days. Most importantly, give yourself as much time as possible. Rushing vows is never a good idea.”

Begin the process by reflecting on your relationship. “I suggest doing a brain dump o f memories and moments you’ve shared,” she recommends. “Why do you want to marry this person? What incredible experiences have you had together and how do you see your future? Ideally, take the time to sit quietly and reflect, ponder, relive moments, and put that on paper.” Peterson agrees that it’s important to have a proper brainstorm before thinking about structure. “When you’re not focused on the format or how your vows will sound, you can come up with ideas more freely,” she explains. “Then you’ll have material that you can edit and polish into vows you love.”

By Kathleen Baird-Murray

By Christian Allaire

By Kate Lloyd

Don’t forget that your inspiration should truly come from the heart. “Remember, you are the storyteller,” says Pushkine. “Writing your own vows not only enhances the entire experience, but it is a declaration of love you are making to your future spouse. If done well, every guest in the room will be completely swept away by these incredible words and the setting has been set for the rest of the magical wedding day.” She does advise to keep your guests in mind, though. Anything your partner might not want shared or a very detailed challenge your relationship faced can be kept private.

While stories and kind words bring beautiful color to your vows, don’t forget the main purpose of the task. “The number one details to always include are specific promises, as these are the heart of wedding vows,” shares Peterson. “List three to six and make sure they can stand the test of time.” She notes, “Inside jokes you share today may dwindle over the years. To create meaningful promises, consider how you can keep your commitment strong and your partner happy.”

While vows can lean towards sentimentality (and it’s absolutely okay to cry), try to find a balance that feels authentic to you and your future spouse. “I recommend writing sweet and sentimental vows that also include some playfulness and humor,” says Peterson. “This provides a nice balance and reflects most couple's personalities.”

How to Recite Your Wedding Vows

Once you write your vows, go ahead and read them (many times) out loud. “Practice, practice, practice, and focus on your speed and tone,” advises Peterson, who works with her clients on delivery after the writing process. “Most couples speak too quickly. Slow down to make sure guests and your fiancé understand what you’re saying.”

Not only should you consider your pace, but also think about how you bring your vows to life through voice and gesture. “You can write the most beautiful words ever written, but if you sound monotonous without any expression or feeling, it will all get lost, and people will be bored silly,” says Pushkine. “You have to work on being as animated, expressive, and soulful. The more you practice, the better you’ll be.”

Both vow writers say that you should not try reciting your speech from memory. “If you forget one word or line, your mind might go blank and you’ll freeze in front of your fiancé,” notes Peterson. She advises writing them down in a vow booklet instead. Pushkine adds, “Never memorize, but get to know the words so well that you can make eye contact. You don’t want to be glued to your vow book or paper.”

And finally, of course, there’s no pressure—you and your partner should always feel able to do your wedding your way. If public speaking isn’t your thing, you can agree to exchange vows privately after a first look or even exchange letters ahead of the ceremony. Just be ready for makeup touch-ups if you shed a tear or two.

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How to Write Wedding Vows: Tips for Heartfelt Words

You’ve found the love of your life, and now it’s time to write your wedding vows . If you’ve chosen to write the vows yourself, you know the magnitude of the moment. This special undertaking offers a chance to express how much your future spouse means to you — in your own words.

Learning how to write wedding vows can feel intimidating, but you don’t have to do it alone. To help you create personal wedding vows that are authentic and heartfelt, discover our tips on structure, tone, and other elements that will showcase your thoughtfulness and personality.

How to Write Wedding Vows That Express Your Love and Show Your Personality

Wedding vows are more than just promises. They signify the importance of your love, the path you envision for yourselves, and your commitment to building the future of your dreams. Putting those feelings into words can be tough, but it’s not impossible, especially with a little guidance. 

Here, we’ll show you how to write wedding vows in easy-to-follow steps, whether you’re planning a   vow renewal , elopement , or traditional wedding.

Create Your Wedding Vow Structure

Like all writing, your wedding vows should have structure. While there isn’t one specific wedding vow template to follow, sit down and think about what you want to say. Is there a story you can share that encapsulates your relationship? Maybe your significant other once said something to you that made you realize they were the one. Perhaps a fateful event happened that brought you together.

Whatever it is, consider how that story or moment represents your love and then use that to create an outline for your vows. Most couples mention what their partner means to them, share an anecdote about how they met or knew they were the right one, and end the vows with their promises of love and commitment.

In general, wedding vows should be one to three minutes long. Keep this in mind when setting the structure for your vows. And remember, it’s your big day , so if you want to take a little more time, that’s fine, too!

Decide on Tone

Your tone is just as important as the wedding words you choose. Before writing your vows, think about what tone you want. You can choose to be funny, lighthearted , sentimental, or formal. 

Consider matching the tone to your relationship style — if you’re goofy together, feel free to be silly and write funny wedding vows . (If you’re both known for your sense of humor, you can also send funny wedding invitations to let guests know what to expect!) You can also use a couple of different tones to highlight the trajectory of your relationship over the years. 

Use Meaningful Anecdotes

Keep inside jokes to a minimum — or add them to a personal card you can give your partner in crime on the wedding day . Instead, use meaningful anecdotes to share special moments with family members and friends who have taken the time to attend your wedding. Share one or two stories that demonstrate the heart of your relationship. 

Share Solid Promises

Wedding vows aren’t complete without promises. After all, you’re standing at the altar about to spend the rest of your life with your soulmate . That means you may want to write personal vows that aren’t just rosy and fun. At times, life will be hard, and you’ll need to rely on each other. Now’s the time to make solid promises on how you’ll navigate hard times and how you’ll celebrate your biggest achievements.

End With a Memorable Moment

Wrap up your vows with a special moment. This doesn’t have to be groundbreaking. It can be as simple as telling your partner “I love you” and thanking guests for supporting your marriage. 

8 Tips for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

Ready to write your vows? Here are our top tips to ensure the process goes smoothly. Preparing early and getting help from loved ones can help you craft vows as perfect as your love.

1. Start Early

Don’t wait until the last minute to write your wedding vows . By starting early, you’ll avoid feeling stressed out or rushed — and you can get input from friends, family, and other loved ones if you like. You’ll have more time to think of special moments or stories you want to share during the wedding ceremony . Plus, by starting early, you’ll have plenty of time to rework and practice your vows before the big day .

2. Have a Brainstorming Session

Design: Stacey Meacham Design, LLC

When learning how to write wedding vows , one of the first things you’ll need to do is jot down your ideas. Take time to brainstorm anecdotes you want to share or promises you want to make. 

If you’re having a religious wedding — such as a Jewish, Muslim, or Catholic wedding — you’ll also want to consider whether you want to mention God or a verse from sacred text. Make a long list and then revisit it a few days later to see if you’ve come up with new ideas or have a favorite. 

During this time, consider looking at wedding vow examples . You don’t want to copy these word for word, but they can give you inspiration. Think about recent weddings you’ve attended and what you liked about these real wedding vows . Consider TV shows and movies and draw inspiration from those as well. The beauty is that inspiration can be found anywhere. 

You’ll also want to look at traditional wedding vows along with more modern takes. By reading a variety of styles, you may develop new ideas for crafting your own vows.

3. Make Several Drafts

Once you have an idea of where you want your vows to go, it’s time to make a rough draft. The first time you put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard!) might feel tricky but try not to focus too much on perfection. The important thing is to get your ideas on paper. 

After the first draft is done, take some time off. This will allow you to avoid writer’s block and give you time to think about the wording. When you’re ready, revisit the document or create an entirely new draft. Compare the two and make updates where you see fit. Continue creating or updating the drafts until you’re happy with what you’ve written.

4. Don’t Be Afraid to Be Sentimental

Design: Erika Firm

Some couples might hesitate to be sentimental because they feel it comes across as inauthentic or too sweet. But whether you’re writing funny marriage vows or romantic wedding vows , there’s nothing wrong with incorporating warm and loving sentiments.

Phrases like “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you,” “I promise to love and cherish you for the rest of my days ,” and “The best days of my life are the ones I’ve spent with you” hit differently on a wedding day . They’re sure to bring tears of joy and express the depths of your love and devotion.

5. Practice Your Vows Out Loud

As they say, practice makes perfect. The best wedding vows are those that people take the time to write and practice. Before the official vow exchange , practice in front of the mirror or with your best friend . 

Read the vows out loud, taking time to jot down notes or changes along the way. While you practice, work on your timing, paying attention to pauses and transitions. You may also want to write down notes and reminders where you want to take a small pause.

6. Get Input From Loved Ones

While you can certainly write your wedding vows all on your own, some people find it helpful to seek advice from friends and family. Ask someone you trust for ideas or to review what you’ve already written. You can also ask your wedding officiant or wedding planner to review your vows and offer feedback. 

7. Consider Keeping Your Vows a Secret From Your Partner

Your vows can be a beautiful surprise for your partner. If you prefer, keep them a secret until the big day for the biggest impact. You’ll love watching your partner react to your words as you join together and start your new journey.

8. Invest in a Vow Book

Design: Claudia Owen

A vow book is a lovely keepsake that adds formality to your promises. These little books will protect your vows long after the wedding day . If you don’t want a vow book, use nice stationery instead. 

At the very least, print a copy of your vows before the big day — without scribbles or edits — for a more formal presentation. Some couples may also opt to read vows from their smartphone. However, we love the tradition of the written word, even for a modern wedding . 

Create Vows That Wow

Writing wedding vows can be intimidating, but these tips will guide you through the creative process. Once you learn how to write wedding vows , you can find the right words to say and share them in a way that reflects your unique love story .

With Greenvelope, digital invitations are just one part of your full wedding stationery suite. You can easily customize wedding save the dates , rehearsal dinner invites, thank you cards, and more.

For more wedding planning help, continue browsing our wedding guides . You’ll find everything from wedding etiquette tips to budget breakdowns and ideas to make all your wedding day dreams come true. 

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How to Write Wedding Vows Step by Step

Written by  Shutterfly Community Last Updated: Sep 5, 2023

Tips for Writing Wedding Vows

Wedding vows for her, wedding vows for him, romantic wedding vows, funny wedding vows.

• Wedding Vows Examples

• Continue by saying what it is you love about your partner.  What about this person has led you to promise forever? When did you realize you were in love? What do you miss when you’re not around each other? Jotting down all of your ideas and each of things you love about this person can make it easier to get your thoughts together, find a theme and focus in on a few items that really stand out. Don’t worry about saying every little thing, if you were to do that your ceremony would go on forever.
• Use a story to bring this love to life.  This is a great moment to tell a story or use an anecdote to bring your love to life. A personal story is memorable and will give your guests an intimate look into your love for one another.
• Lay out exactly what it is you are promising.  Make promises to your partner and vow to stick to them. Such as, “I vow to always support you,” or “I promise to never steal the covers unless, you’re hogging them.” Mention specific ways you will show your love— in romantic ways, funny ways and ways only the two of you could understand. If the two of you are celebrating your faith on your wedding day, you can incorporate religious wedding vows and wedding bible verses too. Use words like I vow, I promise and I pledge.
• Use romantic wedding vows to personalize your promise.  Use romantic wedding vows to encompass your promise, love and devotion.
• Use funny wedding vows to personalize your promise.  Your wedding day will be one of the happiest days of your life. Add humor to your wedding vows so they stay true to the two of you.
• Mention specific things the two of you will do together.  Continue this portion of your vows by mentioning the specific things you will accomplish together. Using phrases like: “With you,” “I will,” and “Together.”
• Don’t forget to add that you’ll be there even when times get rough.  Reassure your partner that this is for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.
• Wrap your vows up with a look towards the future.  Think about your goals, aspirations and future. Will your love help you through the home remodel? How will your love set the tone for the way you raise your family? What are you looking forward to sharing with this special person.
• “As long as we both shall live.”  End your vows with one last promise, the promise of forever, for eternity and until death do us part.

• Talk vows over with your fiancé.  You’ll want to keep the final product a secret and surprise for your wedding day. Although, it can help you feel more comfortable getting started if you and your partner agree on a certain style, format or tone for your vows. Will the two of you incorporate some of the same promises as traditional wedding vows? Are you going to stick to romantic promises or incorporate a more light-hearted tone? Some couples even decide to share their vows with each other before the wedding day. The best part is that the two of you get to decide what you prefer!
• Surround yourself with memories.  Whether it’s old photographs, your first love note or special keepsakes, these items will remind you of all the moments the two of you have shared with one another. One moment may remind you of another which, may lead to that one time and the next thing you know it, you’ll have too many ideas.
• Make a list.  When you first sit down to write your vows, don’t be stressed about writing complete sentences. Start jotting down everything that comes to mind.
• Why did you decide to get married?
• What did you think when you first saw him/her?
• When did you realize you were in love?
• What do you have now that you didn’t have before you met?
• How has she/he changed your view of the world?
• What do you miss when you’re apart from each other?
• What hard times have you gone through together?
• What makes your relationship tick?
• Get inspired. You can look through different wedding vow examples including the ones featured below. You’ll be able to find plenty of inspiration. You can also pull inspiration from your favorite poets, authors, o romantic movies, as long as you don’t let someone else’s words overpower your own.  Once you’ve found a few ideas you love, determine what it is about those vows that you are drawn to and try to incorporate that into your own.
• Avoid anything too personal or embarrassing. You’ll want your guests to be able to follow along with what you’re saying and be a part of this special moment. Limit the inside jokes and any words you second guess as you re-read what you’ve written. You can also have a friend read through your vows and make sure you didn’t miss anything.
• Take a break.  Sometimes your best writing happens when you come back to it the next day. If you need a break, then take one. This is the reason you started early in the first place.
• I promise to love you, honor you, and cherish you as my husband.
• I am proud to be your loving wife, ecstatic to discover what is next in our lives, and thrilled that our every day will be together on this adventure.
• I promise to laugh with you and to laugh at myself.
• You are the love of my life and I am proud to marry you. I promise to support your dreams and to be there for you for all eternity.
• I vow to be a loving and devoted wife, without judgement, without scorn, but always with an open heart and mind.
• We are best friends, with unending happiness, always having the best time, let’s solve life’s mysteries together one embrace at a time.
• I truly love all I know of you and long to learn more as we grow old together, falling for you a little more each day, being part of your life and connected in every way forever.
• You are my forever, my best friend, my dream come true, my shoulder to lean on, my husband. You are my everything.
• I vow to listen, to speak lovingly, to give generously all of myself, to care, to heal, to rejoice, and to pray with you forever and always.
• I love you to the moon and back. And so much more than that.

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• I promise to be the man that I see now in your eyes, today, tomorrow, and for always.
• You are the first person I want to see in the morning and the last at night. I look forward to loving the smallest moments, like your eyes while you toss your hair. Spin a coin into a fountain and make a wish for us. You are my wish come true.
• I vow to always protect you from harm, to stand with you against your troubles, and look to you when I need protection.
• I know you. I know you as my love who has always been and will always be. I name you my wife and cannot wait to continue our eternal loving journey.
• In your eyes, I have found my home. In your heart, I have found my love. In your soul, I have found my mate. With you, I am whole, full, alive. You make me laugh. You let me cry. You are my breath, my every heartbeat.
• You know me better than anyone else in this world and somehow still you manage to love me. You are my best friend and one true love. There is still a part of me today that cannot believe that I’m the one who gets to marry you.
• I see these vows not as promises but as privileges: I get to laugh with you and cry with you; care for you and share with you. I get to run with you and walk with you; build with you and live with you.
• I pledge to listen to your advice, and occasionally take it. I pledge to never keep score… even if I’m totally winning. I pledge to always admire your huge, strong, kind and determined heart. I pledge that I will love you.
• I am so happy to be able to tell you – I do, I will, and I always will – whatever I have is yours.
• I promise to love and care for you, and I will try in every way to be worthy of your love. I will always be honest with you, kind, patient and forgiving. I promise to try to be on time. But most of all, I promise to be a true and loyal friend to you. I love you.
• I have to catch my breath to believe this is real, that I am marrying my true love, my heart’s desire, and my best friend.
• As I promise always to be true I promise myself to you.
• No words can possibly express the vow that I give to you now – it is an ineffable part of myself that I place in your care as we join together.
• Our love will bind us together through all time and this I promise, to always be true.
• I knew I loved you from the moment we met, and I have been helplessly lost in your eyes ever since.
• I promise to grow with you and build with you a better life each day as we learn from each other to be patient, kind, giving, and to always cherish each day together.
• My commitment to you is one if give willingly, absolutely, and without hesitation. I am yours utterly and have been since the moment we met. We were married before this day and will always be.
• I promise you my unconditional love, tenderness, and undying devotion, to not ask you to be more than you are, and to love you for being you.
• I promise to be here to wipe away tears of sadness, to elicit tears of joy, and to cry out to everyone who will listen how much I love you.

• I vow to turn on the heater when you’re freezing cold, even if I’m burning up.
• I promise to take out the garbage, even in the pouring rain or freezing cold.
• I promise to get up and get our remote from across the room, even if it was not I who placed the remote so very far away.
• I promise to always respect your choice of music in the car when you are driving. If you are not driving however…
• I promise to root for ______ even though I could truly care less who wins.
• You are the one I want to binge watch Netflix with forever.
• I promise to love you as much as the Chicago Cubs and not hold your black and white striped dress against you.
• Let’s be the only people to get each other’s jokes.
• I vow to be your spell checker, grammar friend, and tell you when things need hyphens. I promise to be your partner in exercise, even if I am much faster than you, and most of all, I promise to try things, even though I am sure I will not like them, just because you say, “try this!”
• I promise to share the covers, leave the light on, make sure the toilet paper is stocked, not use all the hot water, and do as many dishes as I can stomach, as long as we both shall live so help me God.

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How to Write Wedding Vows: An Outline Of Your Love

February 15, 2024

Understanding the Significance of Wedding Vows

Getting started: tips for writing your vows, structuring your vows, incorporating personal touches.

Dos and Don’ts When Writing Vows

• Do be yourself
• Don’t worry about sounding like a poet (unless you are one)
• Do keep it short and sweet – this isn’t a novel
• Don’t forget to say ‘I love you.’ It’s a classic for a reason
• Do practice, but don’t stress about memorizing every word

Practice Makes Perfect: Rehearsing Your Vows

Private vow ceremonies.

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8 Sample Wedding Ceremony Scripts To Borrow for Your 2022 Wedding

Including writing tips to customize your wedding vows and ceremony scripts.

Cristina Montemayor is a freelance writer and makeup artist whose work has appeared on HelloGiggles, Slate, Elite Daily, and Bustle.

PHOTO BY GLORIA GOODE PHOTOGRAPHY  

The wedding ceremony is the heart of the wedding day. The dress, the flowers, the food are all icing on the cake, but the ceremony is where two people actually become married—legally, spiritually, and literally. Considering the significance, it’s surprising that many couples often leave the wedding ceremony planning to the last minute, according to wedding officiant and professional vow writing coach Tanya Pushkine. “It’s so rare that the wedding ceremony is thought of as a priority,” says Pushkine. “It’s almost like an afterthought.”

Meet the Expert

Tanya Pushkine is a professional vow writing coach, ceremony planner, and officiant based in New York City. She’s known as the “vow whisperer” for her ability to craft authentic and memorable ceremonies that reflect the unique personalities and beliefs of the couple.

Pushkine recommends that couples start thinking about the ceremony early in the wedding planning process so that they know what to ask for when they meet with their wedding planner or day-of coordinator. Religious ceremonies are typically more fixed in terms of the service, language, and traditions while secular/non-religious ceremonies give couples a lot more flexibility to personalize the ceremony to their unique tastes.

All weddings have a standard format ( processional , readings, vows, exchange of rings, pronouncement, first kiss, and recessional), but by changing up the readings, verbiage, and incorporating creative rituals into the service, you can make it completely your own and create a service that leaves your guests laughing, crying, and excited about what’s coming next. “Millennials are writing their own rules,” Pushkine says of modern wedding ceremonies . “They’re looking to create an experience, which is different than before, where couples just did what their parents did.”

Below, we’ve outlined wedding ceremony script writing tips and a few sample wedding ceremony scripts to inspire you.

Wedding Ceremony Script Writing Tips

Scripting your wedding ceremony can be a fun, joyful experience, but the pressure to do and say the right thing can interfere. Here's how to keep it from becoming overwhelming.

Start Early

Don’t leave writing your wedding ceremony until the last minute. Get ahead of it and start doing your research early on in the wedding planning process so that you have plenty of time to find inspiration and craft a ceremony that reflects you as a couple. “It’s like a puzzle,” Pushkine warns. “There are so many different variations and themes to choose from when it comes to planning a wedding ceremony, so try to find unique elements that fit your personal style.”

Work With Your Officiant

The officiant is the most important person at the ceremony—more than the newlyweds—because they’re leading the entire service, and they hold the power to actually marry the couple. If your officiant is a religious leader or experienced wedding officiant , they might already have an outline for the wedding ceremony that you can add to, if you so choose. If you’re having a friend step in as the officiant, they’ll need some direction from the couple as to what they’ll want to include in the ceremony.

Don’t Procrastinate on Writing Your Vows

If you decide to write your own vows , make sure you dedicate plenty of time to not only writing your vows but practicing your delivery as well. Your vows are a lifetime promise that you’re making to your partner in front of your closest friends and family, so they should be meaningful and personal, but without being too revealing. Choose your words carefully, and rehearse until you feel confident and comfortable saying them aloud. 

Keep It Short and Sweet

Unless your ceremony involves a religious service, try to keep the ceremony length to no more than 30 minutes. Any longer and your guests might start looking at their watches. If you want a memorable ceremony that’s fun for everyone—not just the couple—try to make your ceremony interactive. “The best thing you can do to make your ceremony unique is to get people laughing,” Pushkine says. “Wedding ceremonies can be a lot of fun without completely disregarding the serious element involved.” 

Consider Printing Programs for Your Guests

Personalized wedding ceremonies can be entertaining, but the further away you get from the traditional ceremony format, the more confused your guests might be. Wedding programs are a great addition to make your guests feel more involved and aware of where the service is going.

Programs are also great to further explain more meaningful elements of the ceremony, like why you chose to include certain readings or rituals. 

Get a Second Opinion

Make sure to have someone look over your wedding script before the big day to make sure it flows well and sounds both authentic and natural. It never hurts to have a second pair of eyes to provide feedback and edit suggestions on what is likely the most important speech you’ll ever deliver.

Sample Wedding Ceremony Scripts

Now that you’re ready to start writing your own wedding ceremony script, here are a few sample scripts to use as a jumping-off point. Prepared by American Marriage Ministries (AMM) .

Traditional Ceremony Script

PROCESSIONAL Beginning of the wedding ceremony. Guests are seated followed by the entrance of the bridal party.

INVOCATION Welcome, loved ones. We are gathered here today to join [Name] and [Name] in holy matrimony.

VOW EXCHANGE [Name], I promise to cherish you always, to honor and sustain you, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, and to be true to you in all things until death alone shall part us.

[Name] I promise to cherish you always, to honor and sustain you, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, and to be true to you in all things until death alone shall part us.

RING EXCHANGE AND DECLARATION OF INTENT With this ring I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us.

With this ring I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us.

PRONOUNCEMENT By the power vested in me by the state of [State], I now pronounce you [husband and wife/husband and husband/wife and wife]!

Nonreligious Ceremony Script

PROCESSIONAL Beginning of the wedding ceremony. Guests are seated.

INVOCATION Family and friends, thank you all for coming today to share in this wonderful occasion. Today we are here together to unite [Name] and [Name] in marriage.

DECLARATION OF INTENT Do you [Name], take this [woman/man/person] to be your lawfully wedded [husband/wife], to live together in matrimony, to love [her/him/them], comfort [her/him/them], honor and keep [her/him/them], in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?

Do you [Name], take this [woman/man/person] to be your lawfully wedded [husband/wife], to live together in matrimony, to love [her/him/them], comfort [her/him/them], honor and keep [her/him/them], in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?

RING EXCHANGE [Name] and [Name] have chosen rings to exchange with each other as a symbol of their unending love. As you place this ring on [Name]’s finger, please repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed and pledge you my love now and forever.

[Name], as you place this ring on [Name]’s finger, please repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed and pledge you my love now and forever.

PRONOUNCEMENT By the authority vested in me by the State of [State], I now pronounce you [husband and wife/husband and husband/wife and wife]!

RECESSIONAL End of the wedding ceremony.

Modern Ceremony Script

INVOCATION Welcome family and friends. We are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the marriage of [Name] and [Name]. This is not the beginning of a new relationship but an acknowledgment of the next chapter in their lives together. [Name] and [Name] have spent years getting to know each other, and we now bear witness to what their relationship has become. Today, they will affirm this bond formally and publicly.

[Name] and [Name] will mark their transition as a couple not only by celebrating the love between themselves, but by also celebrating the love between all of us—including the love of their parents, siblings, extended family, and best friends. Without that love, today would be far less joyous.

DECLARATION OF INTENT Do you [Name] take [Name] to be your lawfully wedded [husband/wife]? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and not so good times, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself unto [him/her/them] for as long as you both shall live?

Do you [Name] take [Name] to be your lawfully wedded [husband/wife]? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and not so good times, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself unto [him/her/them] for as long as you both shall live?

RING EXCHANGE A ring is an unbroken circle, with ends that have been joined together, and it represents your union. It is a symbol of infinity, and of your infinite love. When you look at these rings on your hands, be reminded of this moment, your commitment, and the love you now feel for each other.

[Name], place the ring on [Name]'s finger and repeat after me:

[Name], I give you this ring as a symbol of my love with the pledge: to love you today, tomorrow, always, and forever.

And now...[Name], place the ring on [Name]'s finger and repeat after me:

PRONOUNCEMENT Before these witnesses, you have pledged to be joined in marriage. You have now sealed this pledge with your wedding rings. By the authority vested in me by the great State of [State], I now pronounce you married!

Christian Ceremony Script

INVOCATION We are gathered here today in the sight of God and these witnesses to join together [Name] and [Name] in holy matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God, since the first man and the first woman walked on the earth. Therefore; it is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently and soberly. Into this holy estate, these two persons present come now to be joined. Therefore, if anyone can show just cause why they may not be lawfully joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.

READING A reading from the Apostle Paul, The first letter to the Corinthians, Chapter 13, verses 4 through 7: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Father, as [Name] and [Name] pledge themselves to each other, help them and bless them that their love may be pure, and their vows may be true. Through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.

DECLARATION OF INTENT [Name] and [Name], you have come together this day so that the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of this minister of His word and this community of family and friends and so, in the presence of this gathering, I ask you to state your intentions: Have you both come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage? If so, answer by saying 'I have.'

RING EXCHANGE [Name], please take the ring you have selected for [Name]. As you place it on [his/her] finger, repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed.

[Name], please take the ring you have selected for [Name]. As you place it on [his/her] finger, repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed.

PRAYER May Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Savior, always be at the center of the new lives you are now starting to build together, that you may know the ways of true love and kindness. May the Lord bless you both all the days of your lives and fill you with His joy. Amen.

PRONOUNCEMENT Those whom God has joined together, let no man put asunder. In so much as [Name] and [Name] have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, having given and pledged their faith, each to the other, and having declared same by the giving and receiving of rings, I pronounce that you are husband and wife. I ask you now to seal the promises you have made with each other this day with a kiss.

Jewish Ceremony Script

SIGNING OF THE KETUBAH The Ketubah is an ancient document and is a marriage contract that lays out the commitment that the couple has to each other. It is signed by two Jewish witnesses, neither of whom can be blood-related family members to the couple.

BEDEKEN After the Ketubah signing, there is a short but meaningful ritual where the groom covers the bride’s face with her veil. The veiling itself is a symbol of modesty, based upon the biblical account of Rebecca meeting Isaac. Some couples put a modern spin on the tradition by having the bride place a yarmulke on the groom.

INVOCATION We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of [Name] and [Name]. A special thanks to all of you that traveled from far and wide to witness the promise these two are about to make to one another. We are here to offer our love and support, and to stand with [Name] and [Name] as they begin this new chapter of their lives.

RING EXCHANGE The couple will now exchange rings. These rings symbolize the never-ending love you feel for each other. The ring has neither a beginning nor an end, just as there is no beginning or end to what the partners give and receive. These rings will be a reminder of the vows you have taken today. By this ring, you are consecrated to me according to the law of Moses and Israel.

BLESSING OF THE HANDS [Name] and [Name], please join hands. Looks at these hands for they are of your closest friend. They are strong and full of love. As you join hands today, you make the promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.

THE SEVEN BLESSINGS The Seven Blessings are now recited.

BREAKING THE GLASS The ceremony is concluded by the groom stamping on a glass and smashing it. This is the signal for the gathered people to cheer, dance, and shout “Mazal Tov!” Some couples choose to update this tradition by breaking the glass together with one swift smash in unison.

Baptist Ceremony Script

PROCESSIONAL Beginning of the wedding ceremony. Guests are seated followed by the entrance of the bridal party.

INVOCATION Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the presence of God, family, and friends to witness a joyous occasion—the union of [Name] and [Name] in holy matrimony.

PRESENTATION OF THE BRIDE Who gives [Name] to be married to [Name]?

[Bride’s father or parent] I do.

DECLARATION OF INTENT [Name] and [Name], as you stand here before friends, family, and God, I ask you to declare your intentions to join in the sacred covenant of marriage.

Do you take [Name] to be your husband, to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him, as long as you both shall live?

[Name], have you come here freely and without reservation to marry?

[Name], do you take [Name] to be your wife, to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her, as long as you both shall live?

EXCHANGE OF VOWS AND RINGS [Name] and [Name] will now exchange rings as a symbol of their commitment and endless devotion.

 [Name], you may place the ring you’ve chosen on [Name]’s hand.

 And [Name], you may place the ring you’ve chosen on [Name]’s hand.

 [Couple exchanges rings.]

This marriage unites not just [Name] and [Name], but all of the families sitting here today. They ask now for your blessing. Do you promise to support [Name] and [Name] in their marriage, to keep them in your prayers, to hold them up with love, and to rejoice in companionship in Jesus as they walk this path together?

[Audience] We do.

Closing prayers.

PRONOUNCEMENT [Name] and [Name], having witnessed your marriage vows in the eyes of God and before all who are assembled here, by the authority invested in me by the State of [State], I pronounce you husband and wife. 

You may kiss the bride!

Protestant Ceremony Script

PROCESSION Beginning of the wedding ceremony. Guests are seated followed by the entrance of the bridal party. 

INVOCATION Dearly beloved, we’re gathered here today in the presence of God to witness and bless this union as [Name] and [Name] join together in holy matrimony. 

This holy bond is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, thoughtfully, and in accordance with those purposes for which God created it. 

INTERROGATION AND CHARGE TO THE COUPLE If anyone present knows of any reason why this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace. 

[Name] and [Name], here in the presence of God, family, and friends, if either of you know any reason why you should not marry, do now confess it. 

PRESENTATION OF THE BRIDE Who presents [Name] to be married to [Name]?

DECLARATION OF INTENT Please face each other and join hands.

[Name] if it’s in your heart, please repeat after me. 

In the name of God,  I, [Name], take you, [Name],  to be my (wife/husband/spouse),  to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse,  for richer for poorer,  in sickness and in health,  to love and to cherish,  until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

[Partner repeats this vow.]

EXCHANGE OF RINGS Lord, bless these rings as you bless this union, in your infinite wisdom, today, tomorrow and always. Amen

[Partner] I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and devotion. With all that I am, and all that I have, I promise to honor and cherish you, in God’s name. 

[Partner repeats.]

PRONOUNCEMENT [Name] and [Name], remember to love each other faithfully, just as Christ loved the church, for marriage is a lasting promise of kindness, patience, forgiveness, and love. Trust in God with all your heart, and your path forward will be filled with joy and light for all the years to come. 

By the power vested in me by the beautiful state of [State], in the presence of God and the witness of friends and family, it is my great privilege to pronounce you husband and wife!

Catholic Wedding Ceremony Script

INVOCATION In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Opening prayer and readings.

CELEBRATION OF MATRIMONY All stand, and the couple comes to the altar flanked by their witnesses. The priest will address the couple with a celebration of matrimony:

Dearly beloved, you have come together into the house of the church so that in the presence of the church’s minister and the community, your intention to enter into marriage may be strengthened by the Lord with a sacred seal.

ADDRESS AND STATEMENT OF INTENTIONS [Name] and [Name], have you come here to enter into marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?

 [Couple] I have

Are you prepared, as you follow the path of marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live?

[Couple] I am

 EXCHANGE OF CONSENT I, [NAME], take you, [NAME], to be my [wife/husband]. I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life.

[Partner two repeats this vow.]

BLESSING AND GIVING OF RINGS Bless, O Lord, these rings which we bless in your name. So that those who wear them may remain entirely faithful to each other, abide in peace and in your will, and live always in mutual charity. Through Christ our Lord.

[Priest sprinkles wedding rings with holy water, then hands them to each partner.]

[Name], receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the father, and the son, and the holy spirit.  

[Places ring on partner’s finger]

[Partner two repeats this vow and places ring on partner’s finger.]

PRAYER Priest leads congregation with the Lord’s Prayer.

COMMUNION Priest performs communion, starting with the married couple. 

PRONOUNCEMENT By the power vested in me by the state of [State], I now pronounce you husband and wife.

The best place to find ideas for your very own wedding ceremony script is, you guessed it, the internet. From wedding videography on YouTube to bridal blogs, wedding planning sites, and of course, Brides , there is certainly no shortage of inspiration.

Traditionally, a wedding script begins with the officiant seating the guests and thanking them for bearing witness to the marriage of the couple. While religious ceremonies may begin with a bible verse or another custom, a more modern approach may start the ceremony with a story of the couple.

While the format for your wedding ceremony script largely depends on how religious the occasion is, there are a variety of ways to make it personal to you as a couple. Incorporate guests who are taking witness to your marriage or include a story of how you met followed by a time where you rose above a challenge together to add a personal touch to the proceedings.

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A guide to writing your own wedding vows

Calling all lovebirds and budding wordsmiths let's talk about one of the most romantic and intimate parts of your wedding ceremony: writing your own wedding vows. this is arguably the most important part of your celebration. sure, it can be a bit daunting to put your love and commitment into words. don't worry; we've got your back. with this fun guide, you'll be on your way to crafting the perfect vows in no time..

For this article, we've called in the big guns: our trusted and top-ranked Easy Weddings celebrants from around the country. They've shared their favourite pearls of wisdom, tips, and tricks for vows that will make your guests cry and laugh in all the right ways.

Knowing if you want to write personal vows, stick to the legal requirements, or meet in the middle is a personal choice. Sharing your innermost thoughts and declaring your love can be daunting at the best of times — especially in front of a crowd of your closest friends and family. While this is a decision that only you and your partner can make, an experienced celebrant can guide you through the process and provide invaluable inspiration.

Let's dive in! Remember, your wedding vows should reflect your unique relationship and promises to one another. There's no need to worry about being a literary genius or a poet — just speak from the heart and, of course, trust your celebrant.

Start early

The saying goes, "Time flies when you're having fun!" Planning a wedding is no exception. Before you know it, you'll be at the altar,  ready to exchange your vows with your partner. That's why it's a great idea to start early by jotting down dot points in your phone's notes app as they come to you. As Queensland celebrant Lauren Bridge advises, starting early and keeping a list of ideas will make the vow-writing process much more manageable.

By writing down your thoughts and ideas as they come to you, you can avoid the panic of trying to come up with something the week (or night!) before. You may find yourself inspired by a conversation, a song, or a memory, and by having your phone handy, you can quickly jot down a few words or phrases that capture that inspiration. Over time, you can use these dot points to build your vows, adding and refining until you have something that truly represents your love and commitment to your partner.

Write in your authentic voice

As Sydney celebrant Carla Davern says, it's crucial to "keep it real" when putting together your wedding vows. "Use your own authentic voice and language. You should talk to each other at the altar in the way you talk to each other in life." Avoid trying to sound overly poetic or grandiose —  if that's not your usual style of romance.

Instead, focus on highlighting everything you love about your partner with specific examples. Think about what makes your relationship unique and what qualities your partner possesses that you admire. Use anecdotes or inside jokes that only the two of you would understand to add a personal touch. Keep in mind that your vows should be a genuine expression of your love and commitment to one another, so don't be afraid to be vulnerable and open with your words.

Seek inspiration

As Rosalie from Celebrations by Rosalie advises, "Allow yourself to be inspired and embrace the process. Make sure you ask your celebrant of choice lots of questions — we're here to help!" The perfect celebrant will guide the vows' structure, tone, and content, and help you find inspiration in your unique love story.

Another source of inspiration is social media, where couples can find countless examples of heartfelt and creative wedding vows. However, as Carla Davern notes, "What rings true for one person might be another person's idea of horrible! It's all about choosing what feels right for you."

Attending other weddings as a guest can provide inspiration and insight into what works (and what doesn't) in wedding vows. By gathering inspiration from various sources, couples can create vows that are personal, memorable, and authentic to their relationship.

Be sure to add an "I love you"

When it comes to writing personal wedding vows, it's easy to get caught up in the details and forget what really matters: expressing your love for your partner. Lauren Bridge states, "You would be surprised how many people overlook the simple 'I love you.' Sometimes just those three words make the best closing statement for your personal vows."

Rosalie from Celebrations by Rosalie agrees, "Write a love story to each other! That's what this time of the day is for." Remember that your vows are a declaration of your love and commitment to your partner, and including those three powerful words can make all the difference.

Be brutal in your editing

When it comes to the length of vows, our expert celebrants agree: less is more. "Two to three minutes is actually quite a long time," says Melbourne celebrant Paul Bonadio of The Stand-Up  Celebrant . "Any more than that, and you can get a lot of repetition. Your guests' attention might start to fade."

Lauren Bridge  wholeheartedly agrees, "You really have to be a bit cutthroat with what you include in your vows. I will never explicitly insist that a couple cut down their vows, but a meaningful alternative is to include some of the sentiments in a romantic love letter to be read later on."

Remember: your vows don't have to encompass everything you feel for your partner. That would be very tricky. "Don't put so much pressure on yourself!" says Paul Bonadio . "Simply do your best in both the writing and speaking of your vows."

Be sure to share with your celebrant

"Make sure you loop your celebrant in on your vows!" insists Paul Bonadio . "They'll be able to give the feedback you need to ensure your vows work well together — you don't want one partner with one paragraph vows and the other writing endless Shakespearean sonnets."

Sharing your vows with your celebrant can be an excellent way to get an outside opinion and to ask any questions you might have. Firstly, your celebrant has likely officiated many weddings and has experience with different types of vows. They can offer guidance on the structure, tone, and content of your vows to ensure that they are appropriate for your ceremony.

Secondly, your celebrant can provide feedback on the length of your vows. Remember that a wedding ceremony is usually only 30 minutes long. You don't want your vows to take up too much time. Your celebrant can help you edit your vows to ensure that they are concise and meaningful.

Embrace the emotion

Speaking from the heart and allowing yourself to be emotional in your wedding vows is a powerful way to express your love to your partner. Your vows are a personal expression of your feelings, and it's important to let your true emotions shine through. As Rosalie of Celebrations by Rosalie explains, "Your ceremony really is the most important part of the celebration. Embrace the meaning and allow yourself to be a bit emotional." This is especially true when it comes to your vows. When you speak from the heart and allow yourself to be emotional, you create a truly memorable moment that will stay with you and your partner forever.

Consider alternatives

Does the idea of sharing your personal vows with your friends and family make you break out in a cold sweat? Does the thought of public speaking instantly transport you back to high school?

"The last five years, there have been more couples steering clear of personalised vows. It's a very personal thing to share your feelings about your partner, especially if you're not used to expressing yourself in that way," says Carla Dalvern.

Thankfully, there are lots of personalised alternatives you can opt for. Lauren Bridge shares some of her favourites below:

• Read your vows to each other after the ceremony, just in the presence of each other. This is also a beautiful moment to include your photographer.
• Exchange personal vows on the morning of your wedding.
• Write out personal vows and exchange them with your partner. You can each pick a small section that is your favourite to be read by your celebrant at the ceremony.

Searching for your dream celebrant? We're here to help! Browse our directory now to find your perfect fit. 💖

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Bride Spends Months Secretly Making Her Own Wedding Dress, Surprises Groom and Bridesmaids with 'Dramatic Reveal' (Exclusive)

"I loved having the element of surprise," Jasmine Fernandez tells PEOPLE of her stealth fashion project

Erin Clack is a Staff Editor for PEOPLE. She has been writing about fashion, parenting and pop culture for more than 15 years.

Anemotion Weddings

An Australian bride pulled off an epic fashion surprise on her wedding day!

Jasmine Fernandez , a Sydney-based designer who specializes in bespoke clothing, spent months secretly making her own wedding dress. She then surprised the groom, her bridesmaids and all of her guests with "a dramatic reveal" of her one-of-a-kind look at her ceremony.

"I loved having the element of surprise," she tells PEOPLE of her secret dress project. "I always wanted to keep it a secret and have a reveal to all my friends and family."

Wedding Dresses - Jasmyn

In a video she shared on TikTok , Fernandez captured her five bridesmaids' amazed reactions to seeing her dress for the first time at her October 2023 wedding in Sydney. The clip has since gone viral, garnering more than 640,000 likes.

"Their reactions were just incredible," she recalls. "It made me feel so happy and actually emotional!"

As for the groom, Fernandez says, he "completely bawled his eyes out" as he watched her walk down the aisle. "It was incredibly beautiful and leaves a massive smile on my face even now as I retell the moment," she tells PEOPLE.

Fernandez says the idea to create her own dress and do a surprise reveal was inspired by her Lebanese heritage.

"In my culture, I grew up with weddings being such a monumental time of your life, a union that is hugely celebrated in my family. As a young girl, I would always get so excited to first see the unveiling of a bride in her dress. To me this was the most wonderful anticipation, being that I love fashion," she explains.

While she says she initially considered buying a dress because she was worried that the process of making her own would be too stressful, she was put off by "a really horrible experience" at a bridal boutique she visited.

"The person fitting me did not make the experience feel special at all, and I actually walked out with tears in my eyes as I had never been made to feel so insecure," she recalls. "But it actually did me a favor and solidified my decision to make my own wedding dress."

She even upped the ante by deciding to also make a second, Great Gatsby -themed dress for her reception.

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The process took Fernandez six months, including "many late nights," as she started with sketches and then drafted the patterns for the two dresses. She made a series of "toiles" — test versions of the dresses in inexpensive fabrics — to get the fit and design just right.

"Everything was done entirely myself — designed, pattern made and sewed," she tells PEOPLE, while a behind-the-scenes of the process can be seen in another video she shared on TikTok.

Her ceremony dress featured a halter-neck, drop-waist silhouette and layers of champagne and ivory tulle ruffles, creating a dramatic, 16-foot train with 27 tiers.

"With every step, it almost looked like a floating cloud. It was extravagant and whimsical," Fernandez says of the design. "I always wanted a dress that pushed the boundaries a little, something unique and quirky that completely was a vision of me and my personality."

The dress was also detailed with a French lace corseted bodice embellished with beading and 3D flowers, a beaded belt, fully beaded lace sleeves and a heart-shaped lower back cutout. "I wanted that extra element of surprise for the guests as I walked down the aisle," she notes of the cutout.

While Fernandez says there were "many highs and lows" during her dress-making project, she feels incredibly proud of herself for pulling it off. "It made [my wedding experience] so personal," she adds of wearing her own original design.

Thanks to the project, she's also found a new niche as a designer.

"I had so much positive feedback and interest from others [about my wedding dress]. That's why I've decided to launch my brand, Jasmyn , to make custom wedding gowns for other women, and create an enjoyable and beautiful experience for them," she shares.

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