IELTS Preparation with Liz: Free IELTS Tips and Lessons, 2024

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IELTS Cause Solution Essay Band 9 Model Answer

The model answer below is for an IELTS cause and solution essay  in writing task 2 on the topic of crime and punishment.

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

A large number of criminals who serve their first prison sentence, leave prison only to reoffend. This is mainly because of the lack of rehabilitation and difficulty finding regular employment once released. There are a number of solutions which should be implemented to deal with criminals who reoffend.

Firstly, the reason for most first-time offenders committing crimes again, once they have been released from prison, is due to the lack of rehabilitation whilst in prison. In other words, offenders are not given a chance to retrain and learn new skills for their future or develop a deeper understanding of correct moral behaviour and instead mix with other criminals, which only strengthens their criminal intentions. Secondly, repeat offending is also owing to the difficulty in finding employment after being released. As a result, many of them struggle financially which leads them back to crime, regardless of the consequences.

There are two effective solutions to the problem of repeat offenders. One way to tackle this is to ensure that all criminals entering prison are given the chance to retrain with useful skills which will hopefully ensure them a job after they have served their sentence. By doing this, it will help them reintegrate back into society and give them some means of supporting themselves financially. Another method of dealing with criminals who reoffend is to have more supervision and checks in place when they are back in society. This solution would hopefully prevent them from taking any chances and deter them from reoffending because they are being so closely watched.

In conclusion, having training in prison and also close observation when first time offenders are released are effective in dealing with the issue. If governments implemented these solutions, crime figures would soon drop.

Comments This essay address the task completely. Both causes and solutions are given and developed with relevant ideas. Linking is used not only effectively but also flexibly. Paragraphing is also used effectively to help the reader. There is a range of sentence structures and also tenses used. Vocabulary is also flexible with a good range of less common words. Essay Length: 290 words

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hi mam! if i am asked to give only solutions, how many remedies do i have to write down? and how can i place my solutions in both paragraphs ? should i put them into single para? or should each para have only one remedy? could you please clarify this?

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If you are asked for solutions only, each body paragraph will contain one solution. All paragraphing is based on logical organisation.

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Hello Liz, I hope you’re doing well.

Firstly, thank you for your channel; it has been very beneficial for me during my IELTS preparation!

The question I want to ask is, I think I’m confusing solution essays with opinion essays. For example: “Mental health is becoming an increasingly important topic in society. What do you think are the main contributing factors to mental health issues? How can individuals and communities promote mental well-being?”

I initially thought it was a solution essay, but now I believe it should be an opinion essay. I would be thrilled if you could help me with this.

Thanks for everything!

This is one of the problems when you try to give a name to every type of instructions. An opinion essay is when you are given a statement that is an opinion, such as “Some people think fast food should be banned to reduce the number of obese people.” This is an opinion from “some people”. An opinion essay will ask you to present your opinion as a response – do you agree? / to what extent do you agree? / do you agree or disagree? / what is your opinion?. For these types of essays, you must present a clear opinion such as “I believe that banning fast food is a good method but not the most effective because there are other ways to reduce obesity.” (that is a clear opinion). If you don’t present a clear side, a clear position, a clear opinion, you will get a low score. Any why do we use “I” or “my opinion” – it’s because we are separating “some people think” and “I think” – we are separating two opinions in the same paragraph – one that belongs to other people and one that belongs to you. If you didn’t do this, having two opinions in the same paragraph gets confusing.

However, if the instructions only say “What do you think are the main causes” – you are not being asked to evaluate. You are not being asked to present your opinion of someone else’s opinion. You are not being asked for a position. You are not being asked “do you agree with this solution?”. You are only being asked to give causes. So, whether the instructions say “What are the causes” or “what do you think are the causes” – it’s the same. You only need to present two causes (usually two). So, whether you write “I think stress and poor work-life balance are the causes ….” or “stress and poor work-life balance are the causes …” – it’s the same answer. You’ve given the causes.

So, the only real task you have to do is follow the instructions and understand what your aim is with the essay. Try not to get into a panic about the names given to essay types by teachers.

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Hello Liz, I hope you are doing well and that your health has improved. First of all, thank you for everthing, you are an outstanding person. I have a question please, in problem and solution type, should problems be in one paragraph and solutions in another ? or can i write a problem and its solution in a paragraph and the another problem with its solution in the second paragraph ? Thanks in advance

There is right or wrong in this case. You are being marked on logical organisation rather than a fixed organisation. So, both would be possible.

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In this contemporary world, there is an increase in the number of criminals significantly after serving their first prison sentence. They intended to commit more crimes due to a lack of moral behavior rehabilitation at the prison or results from difficulty in getting jobs because of poor skills performance. However, there are many solutions to prevent crime by helping them to get a job. Also, training them to learn new skills.

Firstly, several factors lead to crime inside the prison, its environment and contact with other prisoners have a major impact on the criminal’s mental and physical behavior. For example, they learn from the lousy prisoner how to deal with the drug abuser and sell it. Therefore, there is an increase in offensive crimes. Secondly, the criminals do not have financial support, and face difficulty getting a job, even when they are employed, their jobs are usually of low wages, and they cannot afford their living expenses. All these factors play a role in criminals intending to re-offend. There are Nemours solutions to tackle these issues. Initially, the prisoner should be educated and rehabilitated with moral behavior and treated for psychological problems such as depression or anxiety. Lastly, the prisoner must train to gain skills. To illustrate that, improving them in computer skills or construction building. That leads to getting better jobs and becoming dependent on their self. In addition, the government should be supporting them financially to prevent crime. In conclusion, after careful analysis of this problem and recommended different solutions. All these measurements will help to decrease the number of the crime.

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Great essay. Well done 👍🏾

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Even though prisons are set up to reduce further crimes in the first place, it is common for first time offenders to carry out more crimes once they have been released. This essay will examine the main reasons of recidivism and possible solutions for this problem.

Prisons as criminal school and their focus on retribution rather than rehabilitation are the two main drivers of relapse in criminality once released. Firstly, incarceration gives opportunities for inmates to meet with other like-minded people, bulking up their criminal skills which can later be used for future crimes. For example, a bank robber in lock-up can swap stories with other bank robbers, making them better bank robbers in the future. Furthermore, most of the prisons worldwide simply lock people up while little or no attention is given in reforming convicts into good people who have a deep understanding of correct moral behavior. In other words, most ex-prisoners lack means and tools necessary to survive in the society after their release. For instance, lack of skills for finding jobs ultimately leads to them struggling financially which leads them back to crime, regardless of the consequences.

Two of more possible addresses to this issue include establishments of reentry programs and the government providing subsidies for newly released prisoners. If reentry programs which emphasize on occupational trainings, social trainings and drug and alcohol rehabilitations are available to those serving terms, the likelihood of carrying out further criminal activities will definitely be less. The chance of ex-prisoners standing on their feet after the life behind bar depends on the ability of the government to provide aids and reliefs to them. Hence, the national and structured supports will be beneficial in preventing recidivism.

To conclude, prison environments can be criminogenic while focusing on nurturing prisoners to survive after the sentences will reduce the number of people committing more crimes after their time spent in captivity.

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Many criminals, who serve their first-time punishment, offend after they are being released from prison due to the lack of rehabilitation and difficulty in finding a job once they are released. There are several solutions which should be implemented to deal with criminals who reoffend.

Firstly, most of first-time offenders tend to commit more crimes once they are released due to the lack of rehabilitation during their staying at prison. Those criminals are not given the chance to retrain and improve their skills or even to develop their moral behavior. Instead, they are mixed with other criminals who can strengthen their criminal intentions. This makes those criminals offensive and just thinking of committing crimes rather than doing good deeds. Secondly, when these criminals are released, they will face financial issues since they don’t have experience and skills to let them work in a job. Thus, they start looking for a source of money, but the only way to collect money is by committing more crimes such as stealing, fraud, or even murdering. This leads to the reoffending cycle again.

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A lot of criminals getting out of prison tend to commit more crimes than before they were first arrested. This phenomenon can be caused by the unhealthy environment in which they were held during the time serving their crime. A solution to this problem would be to ensure a better mental health for prisoners expecting to be released and to continue follow them once they are out.

The poor conditions in which prisoners are being held does not help them understand their mistake. On the contrary, an environment of violence persists between the criminals, as many fights and aggressions happen within the establishment. For example, a person that was arrested for a minor crime, such a dealing drug, will be influenced in a bad way by other more dangerous criminals. Therefore, when getting out of jail, instead of having grown from the punishment, the former drug dealer will be transformed into a rapist or a murderer.

To counter this issue, it is essential to introduce a system of therapy for the prisoners. As they understand the consequences and the gravity of their actions, and as they learn to combat their negative inner thoughts, these criminals will become better people. After that, it is also crucial to follow them for a few months once they reintegrate society to make sure they do not repeat their actions. This can be done by tracking them with a foot bracelet.

To conclude, the presence of violence in prisons is what pushes prisoners to become more dangerous. Helping them evolve and growing mentally is the best way to make their return to society safe for everyone.

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There is no doubt that first time criminals commit same or different crime again after coming out of jail. In this essay, I will discuss the reason for this and what could be done to solve this problem. When lawbreaker goes to prison, first time, they are not rehabilitated properly, and lesson is not learned for them. They are not trained for any skill which can help them outside to apply for a job. On top of this, when they are mixed with other criminals, they encourage them for more crimes. Its like they found what they wanted, the same mentality people. Also, these people are not scared of law because of many loopholes in the law, which they use to come out of this, and some time punishment is not that severe, and this results in fearless criminals. There could be multiple steps can be taken by government and the society. Firstly, Government should consider making the law stricter which can bring fear among criminals and deter them from committing crime again. Secondly, when first time prisoner serves jail term, he should properly rehabilitate so that he can understand the difference between good and wrong. He should also understand the moral values of society. Rehabilitation should also include training for some important skills, which can enable them to get job outside. If he is not trained for any skill, he will remain the same person and will be very easily attracted to commit crime again for his needs like money or food. Finally, criminals should be categorized depending on their crimes and criminals with less intensity crime like pick pocketing shouldn’t be mixed with criminals with high intensity crimes like murder. In conclusion, prison should be place for bringing moral improvement in prisoners and making them better person and not only completing the punishment terms. If these solutions are implemented by government, the crime rate would drop significantly.

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A huge number of prisoners often commit more crimes after being released from prison and this is due to lack of proper rehabilitation and inability to secure a sustainable employment and a means of livelihood. However, there are solutions to this problem of repeated crimes of offenders after serving their first punishment.

Firstly, there is a need for adequate retraining of prisoners with relevant skills before needed to sustain them after being released; this will go a long way in checkmating their excesses upon integration with other people in the society. Furthermore, assisting them with finances to help build on the skills learnt will be of great help in cubing this problem.

Secondly, offenders released should be gainfully employed so that they don’t become a threat to other persons. In addition, they can also be assisted to start up a business and proper supervision for a period of time, this is to ensure that they don’t do otherwise from the trainings and support they have received. Finally, If a thorough and proper mental rehabilitation is extensively carried out on offenders while in prison and armed with the relevant skills needed, repeated crimes will be reduced to the barest minimum In conclusion, If a good number of persons have a means of earning a living, crime will be thing of the past, so all efforts is to ensure that people are highly engaged in meaningful ventures so avoid crimes even

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Firstly, most of first-time offenders tend to commit more crimes once they are released due to the lack of rehabilitation during their staying at prison. Those criminals are not given the chance to retrain and improve their skills or even to develop their moral behavior. Instead, they are mixed with other criminals who can strengthen their criminal intentions. This makes those criminals offensive and just thinking of committing crimes rather than doing good deeds. Secondly, when these criminals are released, they will face financial issues since they don’t have experience and skills to let them work in a job. Thus, they start looking for a source of money, but the only way to collect money is by committing more crimes such as stealing, fraud, or even murdering. This leads to the reoffending cycle again.

There are two effective ways for dealing with first-time offenders. One way is to ensure that each offender entering prison must be retrained. The government should prepare a working environment for those criminals to improve their skills and give them experience in a field that will help them in assisting themselves in the future. In addition, a series of lectures must be given to develop their moral behavior. Another way for reducing the number of criminals from reoffending is by keeping an eye on them after they are being released from prison. This will frighten those criminals from committing crimes because the police or the government are watching them closely. In conclusion, retraining criminals by engaging them in jobs and giving them awareness lectures in addition to keeping an eye on them after they are released would hopefully solve the problem of reoffending criminals. If government applies these solutions, crime figures would soon drop.

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The reoccurrence of crime after convicts serves their first punishment made the legal process that they ought to go through before returning to society seems ineffective, making it logical to question jail time and a necessity to keep track of offenders reintegration in order minimize the possibility of them breaking the law again.

Firstly, the significant number of people reoffending after getting caught is mainly due to the difficulty of finding a job as past offenders, and with having no source of income prior to spending time with other criminals, it gets harder for ex-felons to follow the law as they been wired mentally to see pass the rules in order to survive in prison. For example, a case that made controversy in Algerian newspapers told the story of a guy that been jailed for a minor drug use felony, and had to turn to drug dealing in order to put food on his table as reintegration made impossible to him and to a lot of cases that were faced with the similar faith.

The inefficiency of juridical punishment as a way to prevent crime from reappearing made it clear that the missing piece of the puzzle was reintegration programs, that aim at providing newly released prisoners with jobs and following their progress in the period that follows their release, such programs are already present in the USA and they proved to be the best approach to deal with such issue.

in conclusion, the high rate of crime among ex-offenders and skepticism with regards to traditional ways of dealing with this phenomenon put the light on the importance of re-integration programs as a key solution to make these people good citizens again.

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My take on the essay :

After several months or years of serving punishment for their criminal activities, many offenders face difficulty in leading a normal life.In the face of public eye, once an offender always an offender whom they believe has a higher tendency to repeat their crimes. Upon exiting the correction center, offenders need to earn money to pay for their accommodation, bills, buy groceries, food and other necessities.

However, finding a job with past criminal records is a big challenge and struggle for the offenders. Many people wouldn’t immediately employ anyone with such criminal records, because they will have trust issues with the offenders. For instance, any offenders having past criminal activities such as frauding, stealing, or even attempted murder, the employers would be afraid to hire them as the offenders may repeat their crimes. Additionally, the offenders wouldn’t have enough past experience or the right skill needed for the job.Hence, from an employer’s perspective they wouldn’t want to hire people from such a criminal background and least experience instead of regular people.

Similar trend is observed in landlords who deny leasing an apartment or rental units to offenders due to the same reasons. Therefore, upon facing many hurdles and embarrassment in continuing a regular life, offenders resort to crimes to feel empowered over the judgements thrown by the public.

In order for this cycle of crimes to stop from happening, the government needs to take several measures to correct this issue. Firstly, job training and general handy skills can be taught to offenders in the correction center which will be useful for job application in the future. Secondly, offenders should be given a chance to continue their education by distance learning so they are equipped with necessary skills and knowledge. Thirdly, to tackle the accommodation problem, the government can allocate a housing allowance or prepare a housing center for anyone having trouble finding a stay upon their release.

In summary, if the government is able to provide a protection plan for the offenders after their release, this group of people will not repeat their crimes, hence able to break the cycle of second crimes. Also, society needs to create awareness to treat these offenders equally as regular people instead of judging them for their past actions.

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Use criminals, transgressors, law breakers etc

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It is true that a considerable amount of criminals commit more crimes after they finish their first sentence. There’re various reasons behind this phenomenon, and I believe the prison administrative and society should both take measures to tackle the problem. It is often the case that poverty leads to crimes. Some people may commit crimes such as stealing or fraud because they are poor and need money to survive. Moreover, poor people may not have enough money to go to school and thus are deprived of the chance of learning useful skills and getting a good job. If these conditions are not improved when they go out of prison, they might find themselves in a dilemma to solve the problems by crime again. Some may even get worse influences in prison, owing to the lack of discipline and guidance there. Prison is always filled with dangerous and violent people, who might be a bad influence on other minor-crime offenders. There’re several means to help mitigate the problem. Firstly, Government should provide some prisoners with essential education and help them learn useful skills. Therefore when they finish their sentence, they can try to find a decent job with the skills they learned, without having to go back to crimes to serve themselves. This will also help them blend into society and build healthy relationships, which also decreases the chance of committing crimes. Secondly, Prisons should conduct stronger disciplines to constrain violent behaviors. In this way, prisoners can serve time in a peaceful environment and have more time to reflect on their wrongs. In conclusion, offenders commit crimes after serving time is not only because of the bad environment in prison but also because the lack of education and social support for them to earn a living by proper skills. Government should take various measures to tackle the problem.

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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.

What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

In recent days the cases of obesity are tremendously rising up at the same, their fitness and health is dramatically declining. In this essay im going to give a brief explanation about causes and solutions.

On the one hand, intake of junk food and avoiding appropriate nutritional foods are major reason to cause obesity. firstly, presence of high level of fats components in oily food leads to gain bad cholesterols in body. To illustrate, those who consume high level of oil foods are encountering with obesity. Moreover, gaining overweight as a result of refusing good deits like protein intake, carbohydrates intake,fibres and so on. For instance, low intake of protein cause to rise the weight. Consequently, people will triggered by obesity is they follow against appropriate deit.

On the other hand, people must aware about their suppliments concern and follow the regular exercise. Consuming food with all the nutritional value shows a better results. Furthermore, participating daily in physical activities like sports,gym, running will burns bad cholesterol. For example, people who follows physical activities are more healthier and fit than non-participants.Hence eating healthier food and burning calories shows better improvement.

To conclude, eating more fat content foods leads to develop overweight.while, people should develop their passions toward health and physical activities.

[ please Evaluate my essay and give band ] thanku!

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dear Liz, can you give me a favour? what score can you give me for this essay? Despite environmental concerns raised by scientists, people are not changing their lifestyle. Why is this so? What should be done to encourage people to do more to save the environment? These days, it is becoming increasingly common for scientists to take care of the environment, while citizens tend to ignore this problem. The excessive trust in scientists and the development of this world can be the main reasons behind this issue. However, the situation can be reversed by following the appropriate solutions. To begin with, perhaps the major reason why people are not changing their lifestyle can be the extreme belief of scientists. Since the 20th century, a numerous innovation, which had successfully deal with some problems faced us, has been produced by researchers. Therefore, people may tend to disregard the issues of our habitat and think that scientists will solve these problems. Moreover, the advancement of technic technology, which affects the environment harmfully, such as cars, may not provide us to take caring of habitat. For instance, to delivering crucial items to each other, there is no way to use vehicles. Development may result in persons ignoring their nature. Turning to the possible solutions, the authorities and scientists could raise awareness for people as to why we should focus on the environment. The governments may be funding an advertisement about the importance of habitat and broadcast them on television and the internet. Furthermore, the researcher can organize campaigns about what should we do to tackle environmental problems among the population. If these provisions initiate among society, people will pay attention to not only their habitat but also their actions. To conclude, people’s trust in scientists and the accelerating world are the main reasons behind why people are disregarding the circumstances. Therefore, to tackle this problem, the government and scientists should organize activities about awareness of the surroundings among the people.

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Hey Elizabeth, I really appreciate the efforts you put into collective learning Any reader is welcomed to evaluate my Essay, Hope you have a wonderful day 🙂

In a world filled with cherished experience, where god has cast a spell balancing good and evil. Thus, with the copious of malevolent people who stay resilient to jurisdiction, there has been an effective curiosity about how they involved in convicting crimes even after their previous punishments and what measures can we take into account for thwarting the issue. It is glaringly obvious that the limited awareness of one’s actions or sometimes lack of affection in childhood can precipitate such insolent behaviour, thus deep and thorough introspection and a positive environment for children must be encouraged to avoid such conditions. A punishment is incomplete without realizing the consequences of their actions, and thus it is important to believe in the effects of every interaction. On the edge of the materialistic world, the people tend to intentionally ignore or pay a little attention to the corollary of their own actions, and therefore any punishment not involving looking back on themselves is futile. Another major cause of imprudence is caused by childhood trauma or a negative family environment. A study shows that the majority of criminals tend to involve in criminal activities even after atonement if they have been flourished in the dearth of affection. Thus, it makes it clear that the major cause of resilience is the result of limited introspection and uninhabitable childhood experience. Moreover, people should take efforts to fight the malevolent brain to sustain a positive society. Every jurisdiction must include the importance of teaching the problems that victims might have undergone and make them find the mistakes they committed. Moreover, the life of a child begins with a family, thus proper care should be taken by parents to ensure that their child is given sufficient attention and love. Which can guarantee an effective decrease in the crime rate before or after their punishments. To sum up, it is evident that limited awareness and poor family relationships when mixed with the evil mind can bear a resilient criminal, and thus proper steps must be taken into account like teaching the thorough knowledge of introspection and encouraging parents to build and maintain a positive environment at home.

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Thanks for sharing. Got a chance to learn more words from your essay.

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Hello liz. Your website is not less than a jackpot for persons , who are preparing for ielts exam. I was reading one of your sample essays and now I have 3 interrelated questions.

1) is it important to give examples in each body paragraphs ? ( I am curious to know because you didnot write any examples in that essay)

2) if we donot add examples then can we loose marks?

3) can we make our own examples to add. ( for eg: an article published in “the times” stated that ………. ) or ( A recent study conducted in the USA revealed that ……..)

( I hope my questions are making sense)

You should use examples as you wish and when you wish. you can choose to illustrate your ideas in other ways rather than just with examples. As I said, you can choose to illustrate in other ways. You won’t get a higher score because you give the source of information. This isn’t an university essay. IELTS do not care where the information comes from. So, don’t waste your words on something that won’t increase your score. For the above essay, it would have been possible to add an example of types of crime – ie minor crime and major crime. However, this essay is already very well detailed and explained so it requires nothing more. We often use examples to illustrate a point in more specific detail to facilitate understanding.

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Hi Liz I observed that you paraphrased first punishment as prison sentence. The punishment for a crime is not always prison sentence.

It’s important to look at all the words in the sentence and also pay attention to collocations. The verb “serve” relates to prison sentences.

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In a few latest comments from almost a year ago, I can see your health hasn’t been so good. I really hope you’re doing well 🙂

Also, if you could please, I have a query- In a Cause/Solution essay, can I organise my points in the below mentioned way or it doesn’t bode well for task response criterion?

Introduction para BP 1 Causes- point 1 + supporting points BP 2 Causes- point 2 + supporting points BP 3 Solution- 2 points and supporting points Conclusion para

I’d like to mention here that I’ve developed both ideas well but in order to avoid making Causes para too long, I broke it down to two body paragraphs.

This organisation is not logical. The causes are 50% of the essay and the solutions are 50% of the essay. However, with your paragraphing, you have given about 66% to causes and 33% to solutions. This is something to avoid. The task given to you will help you plan paragraphs.

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Hi dear liz I’m confused, you said Roma’s 3 paragraph structure is wrong while your essay on happiness; the sample essay for direct question type is comprised of 3 paragraphs, first one answers the first question and the second and third ones answer the second question!!!!

In that essay, the first question is simple. However, the second question asks for “factors” (plural) – it needs more space to extend and explain multiple factors.

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Dear Mam, Please clarify my confusion about the use of deter in last sentence of 3rd paragraphs. Why it is not “deters”, instead of “deter” ? Another doubt about ” are released are effective” that you used in second line of conclusion. I am unfamiliar about such kind of sentence structure. Please clarify.

You are doing great job mam, Salute!!! Wish you good health.

This is because the sentence in full is: “This solution would hopefully prevent them from taking any chances and would deter them from ….” When we write like this, we do not have to repeat certain words in the second clause. The grammar tense is also ready presumed from the first clause.

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Liz. I just found your site, really this is very much informative. So I am really interested reading with this site thank you

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Hi Liz, I hope I find you better. I have got a query on the way you paraphrased the background statement. The statement says ‘first punishment’ but you paraphrased it as ‘first prison’. Is it not possible for the first punishment be in other forms such as community service, fine, etc

You are referring to the paraphrase “first prison sentence” which means first punishment in prison. This whole issue is about re-offenders and this is all about prison, not community service. There are no world issues about community service or paying a fine teaching people bad habits which cause them to re-offend. While it isn’t stated, it is presumed. Also the word “serving” is used with prison, not with fines or community service. We do community service and we pay a fine, but we serve a prison sentence.

In the speaking test, this is something you could talk about in part 3. You could dispute the question. The examiner would probably interrupt you and paraphrase it to bring you on topic. In writing task 2, you must understand immediately. Yes, it is true that you need to look at holes in the essay question – ie is this referring to only young children or all children or all people. But with this essay question, it is about prison, not paying a fine.

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can we use active voice and passive voice in the same sentence.

please reply me as soon as possible.

It is thought that people will …. That is a passive voice with an active future tense.

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Hy Liz. Thank you for your great info on IELTS I am a bit confused about cause , solution and give reasons for your answer. Are the reasons not part of the causes

You have two tasks – causes and solutions. The word “cause” can also be paraphrased as “reason”. The above essay provides causes and solutions – this means the task is completed.

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Saddened to hear from you that. How are you now? I pray God to bestow you with all the good health

Thank you for your kind words. I’m still sick, but not as sick as I was a few years ago. I hope this upward trend will continue next year 🙂

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My friend and I took our exam about 16 days ago, and finally we got the reault what we wanted(9-8.5-7.5-7). Your videos were extremely beneficial for my writing. Thank u so much. ❤

And the sad part was when I was watching ur videos and your sickness popping to my head… I dont know what u r coping with right now, but Im sure u will conquer it soon. 😍

Best regarda,

Ahmad and Rana

It’s lovely to see both of your results. Very well done to you both 🙂 Thanks for your message about my health. I really hope to be well in a year or so – I have learned the importance of patience and determination which I’m sure many IELTS test takers will be familiar with 🙂

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God will touch you with healing hands ! Get well soon!

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Dear Ahmad, kindly please send those video to me in order to prepare for my exam after the lock down,i would have been requested for the videos,but the situation here in Nigerian is not palatable.

The videos are available for free on this site. Go to the HOME page and select the part of the test you wish to study for free. You will find free videos, practice exercises, tips, topics, model answers etc etc. OR use the RED MENU BAR at the top of the website to access those sections.

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Hi Liz If I write an essay in the comment box, could you please check my writing.

Sorry I don’t offer that service. I like to help but I don’t have time to comment on writing.

Hello dear Liz. I’ ver purchased all your advance videos, yet I wonder why I cant find the vidoes related to cause/solution and direct question essay. Dont you have any videos discussing those two types?

BTW, you are so popular in my country 🙂 ❤

Unfortunately, I became very sick after making those video lessons and my health has not recovered enough since then to make more. I’m hoping later next year I might be able to make videos again, but it isn’t certain. Glad you like my lessons 🙂

Ohhhhhh! 😔😔😔☹☹☹ So sad to hear dear Liz. I really, really hope you get better so soon, and whatever ur problem is gets solved. Next year, which will be after my exam, I’ll be waiting for ur new vidoes, so that I see u r alright 😊

BTW, I’m really excited that u replied🙈😅

Thanks and good luck with your test 🙂

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Praying for your health!! you are such a blessing and an excellent teacher.

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Liz, you are going to get through this. Let me tell you why. Through your perseverance and your positive mindset, you have become extremely adept at finding solutions to problems that have brought most people down. You’ve aced limitations like these in style and have helped others do so. Moreover, you’ve been a constant guide to a lot of us, giving us the direction, motivation and drive to perform well. We pray and root for your good health knowing full well that our teacher’s going to get a 9 on this test.

All I ask of you is to not lose hope and try to find happiness in every day and carry on being the golden-hearted-ever-smiling-hero that you are!

I don’t know what to say. I’m really touched by your comment. It brought tears to my eyes. Even though I am a very strong, positive person, things have been really tough for me at times and I often wondered if I would survive this struggle. Your comment has given me renewed strength and reinforced my determination to keep fighting for my health. Thank you many times over 🙂 We all of us need positive vibes to keep strong 🙂 Wishing you all the best for 2020!!

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hi liz, i hope you get better soon,you always spread happiness and cheerful dear.you has an amazing way in teaching and conveying the information.

Thank you, Kout 🙂

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Hi Liz, BIG FAN of your Teachings 🙂 I simple love all your essays, feels like they are written so effortlessly… So very clear, easy to understand, follow and logical! I am in love with the way you write and present the ideas. I have my exam day after tommrow, I hope to write an essay in exam not completely upto your level but at least a bit nearby to get a band 7. Thank you for your valuable lessons and your paid video lessons are super helpful and MUST HAVE…, Thanks again!! Godbless!

I wish you lots of luck in your test!! Make sure you review the linking words: https://ieltsliz.com/linking-words-for-writing/ . A lot of people forget to review their linking words – using them well will help your score. Also review all my last minute tips for each section of the test: https://ieltsliz.com/ielts-help-faq/

Hi Liz, Thanks, surely will read and review that. Also, Thank you so much for your wishes… It means a lot to me 🙂

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Dear liz, I see you havent given a single example in this essay, how will it fulfill the task response criteria?

An example using “for example” or “for instance” is not a requirement. There are many ways to illustrate your point without giving direct examples.

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Can we use phrases like “ earn our living “ in ielts essays??

What you need to ask yourself is: Is this an informal expression for informal use or is it an expression that is used in a variety of contexts, both serious and informal? Answer that question and you will know if you can use it in writing task 2. If you are ever in doubt during the test, don’t take risks.

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Hi Liz, thanks a lot for sharing lots of useful tips and learning resourses! After reading this essay, I wonder if it’s possible to get band 9 in writing without giving any examples? As far as I know, we should always support ideas with examples in Ielts essays. Please help me to clarify this! Thank you!!

Examples are given if or when relevant. They are not a requirement. Also there are many ways to illustrate a point without using a direct example.

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Hey miss liz, i was wondering about your writing task 2 videos, you’ve been saying all the time that we should write (mostly everything) in the academic way. Please answer me, does these rules works for the general training exam as well or what shall i do in this situation ?

The GT Essay is the same as the Academic Essay. They are both formal essays with the same marking criteria and scoring. GT essay questions are sometimes easier. But the style is the same – it is formal.

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Thank you for the amazing tips. My exam is on 19th July and I am struggling with writing task 2. I am consuming a lot of time in thinking about the ideas and examples, leaving me with no time at the end to review my essay. Could you please review and provide your comments that whether the content is relevant or not, please as I have very less time left to practice. My aim is to score 7.5. Do you think the below essay is good enough for 7.5.

Q: In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Over the past few years, it has been noticed in most of the countries that the limited number of youths are interested in reading newspaper or watching current affairs on TV. There could be different reasons for the raised concern, which I will now discuss in this essay and then I will also provide the corrective measures for combating this issue.

The genesis of this problem lies in social networking sites, which has taken all the eyes of the public and it is not wrong to say that technology has fastened our lives. For instance, the life of the youth has become a challenge nowadays, which i snot just limited to success in career but also to cope up with the changing society in terms of fashion and the increasing desires. They have a lot on their list other than knowing what is happening in their countries. Also in general, most of the content broadcasted on the TV is irrelevant and newspaper have lost its meaning since the advent of the digital market.

To resolve this issue and to make our young blood aware of the importance of the news, it is incumbent to add current affairs as a mandatory subject in schools, colleges as well as in the professional settings. In addition to this, time spent on surfing the internet should be monitored, as it will help them to manage their time efficiently. Above all, the key is to inculcate the feeling of patriotism in the youth so that they could understand the importance of knowing the situation of the country and outside world.

In conclusion, knowing the fact that the majority of the young people fail to understand the necessity of news, it is the utmost responsibility of the elders to make them aware of its consequences. I understand, all news is not relevant but knowledge of current affairs would help in making up the minds for the future.

Thanks a lot for your support.

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Hi Ankara, Please watch Liz’s videos on IELTS task2 they are very helpful and many people who have taken their exam rave about them. Good luck and hope this helps.

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Hi Liz But the questions say give examples from your own experience. Do we still avoid them?

Examples from your experience does not necessarily mean examples from your private life. It is your experience of the world around you. The examples you give are your choice, but I am recommending that you keep a formal style and tone for your essay.

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Hello Liz, Thanks for the tremendous help from your site, it has helped me a lot in my writing. Pls help me check if I paraphrased this topic properly because I think, I kind of over paraphrased it. Topic: Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for world poverty? How can the poor be helped?

Introduction: There is an existence of impoverished people all over the nations of the world and each of these nations have adopted various methods in tackling the issues relating to destitute. However, lack of education and bad governance are the key reasons for global hardship, hence, adequate education and good leadership is required to aid the poor.

Yes, you over paraphrased. Keep the meaning clear at all times. Your aim is to produce perfect sentences: Different countries have different methods of tackling poverty. Poverty is caused by……

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Hi Liz, In problems and solutions essays, is it fine to write a problem and its solution in first paragraph and then another problem and its solution in second paragraph?

In the case of problem/solution, the problems and solutions are directly linked and it is possible to do that.

Thanks Liz for the clarification.

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liz, can i illustrate the causes in two paragraph and write the solution and conclusion on final final paragraph which is basically a conclusion paragraph

The causes are 50% of your essay task and the solutions are 50% of your essay task. If you wish to ignore the instructions and decide the causes are more important, that is your choice. But you will be failing on proper task fulfilment. This is basic common sense. IELTS is all about logical approach.

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Crime and punishment IELTS model essay with vocabulary

Our band nine sample essays give you the opportunity to learn from successful essays that show off the best structure, vocabulary and grammar. This IELTS essay on crime and punishment explores the advantages and disadvantages of harsh punishment for criminals.

band Nine Sample Essay

In some countries, crimes are punished harshly. what are some advantages and disadvantages of this approach.

Several nations have opted to implement a system of strict penalties, such as long jail sentences and execution, for crimes. In this essay, I will explore the advantage that this is a good deterrent with the disadvantage that this harms rehabilitation .

Punitive measures can help deter future crime. If people can see that crimes will be punished harshly, they are far less likely to want to commit a crime . Because people consider risk versus reward before acting, making crime as risky as possible by increasing punishment can stop criminals. Conversely, when countries have light punishments for crimes like shoplifting , people in those countries might feel like it is worth the risk to do these crimes.

However, these strong punishments also increase recidivism by failing to rehabilitate people. One of the main purposes of sending people to prison is to prevent them from committing crimes when they leave; however, making prisons and other punishments too strict works against this purpose. When criminals have a heavily punitive experience, they lose self-confidence and become distrustful of authority , meaning they are more likely to be involved in crime when they leave prison. Alternatively, if prisoners have access to training and support, such as drug rehabilitation programs and anger management classes, they are far more likely to rejoin society in a productive way. 

In conclusion, the correct punishment for crimes is a complex issue. On the one hand, strong measures deter crime; on the other hand, the same measures make it more likely for prisoners to reoffend .

crime and punishment vocabulary

Although crime and punishment is a common topic in the IELTS exam, there, thankfully, is not too much vocabulary you need to know for it. Let’s take a look at some of the high level vocabulary in this answer to kick start your learning.

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IELTS band 9 essay: death penalty

Here you can find advice how to structure IELTS essay and IELTS model answer for death penalty topic. Question type: advantages and disadvantages .

Here is the question card:

Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society.

Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty and give your opinion.

So this is the advantage/disadvantage essay. In this essay you're asked about :

  • Advantages of capital punishment
  • Disadvantages of capital punishment
  • Your opinion about it

Before writing this IELTS essay, you should decide what’s your opinion and then choose your arguments to describe pros and cons of death penalty. You don’t have to make up very complicate ideas. Even simple, but well-written arguments can often give you a band 9 for writing .

Some of the possible arguments :

  • Disadvantages of capital punishment :
  • we have no rights to kill other humans
  • innocent people can be killed because of unfair sentences
  • even criminals deserve a second chance
  • Advantages of capital punishment :
  • it prevents major crimes
  • it restores equilibrium of justice
  • it lessens expenses on maintenance of prisoners

How to structure my answer?

Surely, there are a lot of ways to organise this essay. But here is one possible way of structuring the answer to produce a band 9 essay :

Introduction : rephrase the topic and state your opinion.

Body paragraphs :

  • paragraph 1: disadvantages of death penalty
  • paragraph 2: advantages of death penalty

Conclusion : sum up the ideas from body paragraphs and briefly give your opinion.

Band 9 essay sample (death penalty)

Many people believe that death penalty is necessary to keep security system efficient in the society. While there are some negative aspects of capital punishment, I agree with the view that without it we will become more vulnerable to violence.

Death penalty can be considered unsuitable punishment for several reasons. The strongest argument is that we have no rights to kill other humans. Right to live is the basic right of any human being, and no one can infringe this right, irrespective of the person’s deeds. Moreover, innocent people can face wrongful execution. Such unfair sentences take away lives of innocent people and make other citizens lose faith in law and justice. And besides, sometimes criminals repent of their acts. In this case they should be given a second chance to improve themselves.

However, I believe that capital punishment is necessary in the society. Firstly, it is an effective deterrent of major crimes. The best method to prevent a person from committing crime is to show the consequences of his or her actions. For example, the government of Pakistan has controlled the rate of terrorism by enforcing death penalties for the members of terrorist organisations. Secondly, the governments spend large sums of national budget on maintenance of prisoners. Instead, this money can be used for the development of the society and welfare of the people.

To sum up, although capital punishment has some disadvantages, I think that it proves to be the best way of controlling criminals, lessening governmental expenses and preventing other people from doing crimes.

(257 words)

Useful vocabulary

capital punishment = death penalty

to commit a crime - to do a crime

deterrent of major crimes - something that prevents big crimes

to face wrongful execution - to be mistaken for a criminal and killed for that

to infringe someone’s right - restrict someone’s right, hurt someone’s interests

innocent people - people who are not guilty or responsible for crimes

to repent of something - to feel sorry for something

right to live is basic right of any human being

unfair sentence - not fair judgement

crime ielts essay band 9

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IELTS essay, topic: The majority of former prisoners commit further crime after their release (reasons and solutions)

  • IELTS Essays - Band 9

This is a model response to a Writing Task 2 topic from High Scorer’s Choice IELTS Practice Tests book series (reprinted with permission). This answer is close to IELTS Band 9.

Set 5 Academic book, Practice Test 22

Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

It is a fact that the majority of people who are sent to prison commit further crime after their release.

What is causing this? What can be done to change this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

You should write at least 250 words.

crime ielts essay band 9

Sample Band 9 Essay

It is a sad fact that criminals who leave prison go on to commit further crime. There are various reasons for this, but there are also some things that can be done to prevent it from happening.

One reason for this recidivism is due to a lack of legitimate income. Many people turn to crime as they cannot find an alternative to earn money. When such person comes out of prison, it is very often the case that they have the same few opportunities for a legitimate income. In fact, these opportunities will even be reduced, as employers are often less willing to give an ex-prisoner a job. Some people also return to crime, as they spend all the time of their prison sentence with other criminals. This is not a great environment for rehabilitation, and sometimes even a network of contacts can be made to help develop criminal activities on release.

One important way to help address this problem is education. Criminals who have turned to illegal activities because of no alternatives to earn a living need to learn a way to earn a wage, such as a trade or vocational skills. Computer skills, for example, are in high demand and someone trained in these could very possibly find work. In addition, governments can offer incentives to employers to attract them to give jobs to newly-released prisoners. This would help people who don’t really want to return to crime achieve a fresh start. As keeping people in prison is an expensive business, governments might find it cheaper to pay these incentives.

To sum up, people returning to crime is a tragedy that should be avoided if at all possible in today’s society. Education and incentives can directly address the reasons for it and could make society a happier and safer place.

Go here for more IELTS Band 9 Essays

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2 thoughts on “IELTS essay, topic: The majority of former prisoners commit further crime after their release (reasons and solutions)”

It is a sad fact that individuals who are released from prison often go on to commit further crimes. There are various reasons for this, but there are also measures that can be taken to prevent it from happening.

One primary cause of recidivism is the lack of legitimate income opportunities. Many people turn to crime because they cannot find alternative ways to earn money. Unfortunately, even after leaving prison, they often face limited options for legal employment. In fact, their chances may diminish as employers tend to be reluctant to hire ex-prisoners. Additionally, spending time in prison alongside other criminals hinders rehabilitation and can lead to establishing new criminal connections upon release.

Effectively addressing this issue requires a focus on education. Individuals who have resorted to illegal activities due to limited alternatives need access to learn marketable skills or trades that enable them to secure lawful means of earning a living. For instance, providing training in high-demand fields like computer skills could significantly improve their prospects for finding employment opportunities. Furthermore, governments can incentivize employers by offering benefits or rewards for hiring newly-released prisoners. This approach would provide those who genuinely wish not returnto crime with an opportunity for a fresh start. Given the high costs associated with incarceration, governments might find investing in these incentives more cost-effective.

In conclusion, minimizing the recurrence of criminal behavior among former offenders is crucial in our modern society.The solutions lie ineducation and incentives which directly address the root causes behind recidivism while contributing towards creating safer communities where individuals have better opportunities for productive lives.

一个可悲的事实是,从监狱获释的人往往会继续犯下更多的罪行。造成这种情况的原因有很多,但也可以采取一些措施来防止这种情况的发生。 累犯的一个主要原因是缺乏合法的收入机会。许多人转向犯罪是因为他们找不到其他赚钱的方法。不幸的是,即使在离开监狱后,他们也经常面临有限的合法就业选择。事实上,由于雇主往往不愿意雇佣前囚犯,他们的机会可能会减少。此外,与其他罪犯一起在监狱里度过的时间阻碍了康复,并可能导致在获释后建立新的犯罪关系。 有效解决这一问题需要把重点放在教育上。由于替代方案有限而诉诸非法活动的个人需要学习有市场的技能或交易,使他们能够获得合法的谋生手段。例如,提供计算机技能等高需求领域的培训可以显著改善他们寻找就业机会的前景。此外,政府可以通过为雇佣新获释囚犯提供福利或奖励来激励雇主。这种方法将为那些真正希望不再犯罪的人提供一个重新开始的机会。考虑到监禁的高昂成本,政府可能会发现投资于这些激励措施更具成本效益。 总之,在我们的现代社会中,最大限度地减少前科犯犯罪行为的再次发生至关重要。解决方案在于不适当的教育和激励措施,直接解决再犯背后的根本原因,同时有助于创建更安全的社区,让个人有更好的机会过上富有成效的生活。

Here is a list of commonly used words and collocations based on this essay, along with their Chinese translations:

1. Recidivism – 再犯率 2. Commit further crimes – 再度犯罪 3. Released from prison – 出狱 4. Measures to prevent – 预防措施 5. Lack of legitimate income opportunities – 合法收入机会的缺乏 6. Turn to crime – 转向犯罪活动/走上犯罪道路 7. Alternative ways to earn money – 赚钱的替代方法 8. Limited options for legal employment – 有限的合法就业选择权 9.Reluctant to hire ex-prisoners- 不愿雇佣前囚犯 10.Spending time in prison alongside other criminals- 与其他罪犯一起在监禁期间度过 11.Hinders rehabilitation- 妨碍康复 12.Establishing new criminal connections- 建立新的罪恶联系 13.Focus on education 专注于教育 14.Resort to illegal activities 指向非法活动 15.Learn marketable skills or trades 学习有市场价值技能或行业 16.Secure lawful means of earning a living 获取合法谋生手段 17.High-demand fields like computer skills 计算机技能等高需求领域 18.Improve prospects for finding employment opportunities 提高找到就业机会前景 19.Incentivize employers 给雇主提供激励措施 20.Offer benefits or rewards 提供福利或奖励 21.Newly-released prisoners 刚刚释放的囚犯 22.Wish not return to crime 希望不再犯罪 23.Provide an opportunity for a fresh start 提供重新开始的机会 24.Given the high costs associated with incarceration 鉴于关押所带来的高成本 25.Minimizing the recurrence of criminal behavior 减少犯罪行为再次发生 26.Former offenders 前罪犯 27.Crucial in our modern society 在我们现代社会中至关重要 28.Address the root causes behind recidivism 解决再度回归原因 29.Contribute towards creating safer communities 有助于创造更安全的社区 30.Better opportunities for productive lives 更好地创造有意义生活的机会

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IELTS Writing Task 2 Topic: Young people who commit serious crimes

Janet

Updated On Mar 04, 2024

crime ielts essay band 9

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IELTS Writing Task 2 Topic: Young people who commit serious crimes

IELTS Writing Prediction Questions for 2024

To prepare for the IELTS Essay writing task, you must polish your writing skills – including grammar, sentence structure, vocabulary and rhetoric. You can score well on the Essay writing task by practicing writing a different essay type daily. Below is a sample essay on the Essay Type: Opinion Essay. You can study the sample essay to begin writing your own answer on the given topic:

Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Get Evaluated for FREE:

Do you have an essay on this topic? Please post it in the comments section. One of our IELTS trainers will evaluate your essay from an examiner’s point of view and reply to the comment. This service is completely FREE of cost.

Sample Essay:

There is an opinion that young offenders should be held accountable for their actions just as adults. While I find this view of some people justifiable to some extent, I also argue that treating both young and mature lawbreakers equally may have adverse effects.

On the one hand, I can understand why a young age should be no deterrent to dealing with criminals. If these juvenile delinquents were easily pardoned in place of receiving strict punishments as adults, they would not become fully aware of the serious consequences of their crimes. Therefore imposing appropriate punishments could prevent them from conducting illegal actions in the future. Besides, young perpetrators usually receive lighter sentences than they deserve, which is an injustice to the victims. In Vietnam, there was a well-known case in which a teenager murdered almost every member of a family deliberately, escaping the death sentence due to being a few months under the responsible age.

On the other hand, I am convinced that juvenile criminals should be tried in a different court from that for adults. Firstly, children are proven not to have sufficient intellectual or moral capacity to understand the outcomes of their misdeeds, so they lack the necessary conditions to be trial defendants as grown-up people. Secondly, when given a second chance, these underage convicts can have an opportunity to successfully rehabilitate and learn a valuable lesson. Thirdly, children can be negatively influenced by some bad role models, which should also be considered to give them a fair trial.

In conclusion, breakers of laws should not be spared of punishments, but I believe young offenders should be dealt with differently from adults.

Vocabulary :

  • Accountable: responsible for your decisions or actions and expected to explain them when you are asked ==> The state spends taxpayers’ money and should be held accountable.
  • Deterrent to something: a thing that makes somebody less likely to do something ==> There is no effective deterrent for these young criminals.
  • Perpetrator: a person who commits a crime or does something that is wrong or evil ==>We will do everything in our power to bring the perpetrators to justice.
  • Deliberately : done in a way that was planned, not by chance ==>I suspected that he was being deliberately ambiguous.
  • juvenile criminals : a criminal who is under 19 ==>  Finding ways to deal with juvenile criminals is a perplexing problem.

Band 9 Sample Essay

In the wake of perpetrations and solemn offences which have only been exacerbated in the past few years, the contention of young people being prosecuted at par with adult criminals has been prevalent. Some opine in the support of equal punishment for all while some hold the viewpoint of tackling the two segments distinctively. I find myself agreeing with the latter standpoint and in the forthcoming sections of this essay, I shall be elucidating the same. People who argue that everyone should be charged with equal punishment, principally state that for equal crime, the prosecution has to be equivalent. However, for the young and undernourished mindsets that would be too extreme to execute. The juveniles who misdemeanour are not concrete and matured enough to distinguish between right and wrong. They majorly culminate in committing a serious offence influenced by what they perceive from their surroundings and hence discernment and prudence of judging often don’t get contoured to their maximum capacity in their case. Hence, prosecuting them equally as adult criminals and misdoers shall not be apposite.

The fragile and gullible adolescents if treated commensurately as adults, shall curb their development and ravaging all the scope of them treading in the right direction. Subjecting juveniles in a strict trial will not only deprive them of their chance and possibility to ameliorate but it may imperil them into adapting a personality that could be immensely diabolical in the later stages of their lives. Bestowing a mild laxity in the case of juvenile delinquency could treat them for their offences and hence letting them know the dire consequences of such peccadillos without being harsh on them that might defeat the whole process of their refinement.

Although people of a younger age could use it as a loop to evade the repercussions of the misdeeds, a threat of possibility couldn’t nullify the factual facet of their deterioration otherwise.

In conclusion, it could thus be argued that punishing everyone with an equal intensity under a similar set of charges could denude the frangible personalities of young people.

More Writing Task 2 Essay Topics

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Practice IELTS Writing Task 2 based on Essay types

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Effective IELTS Essay Connectors for Writing Task 2 & Task 1

Janet

Janet had been an IELTS Trainer before she dived into the field of Content Writing. During her days of being a Trainer, Janet had written essays and sample answers which got her students an 8+ band in the IELTS Test. Her contributions to our articles have been engaging and simple to help the students understand and grasp the information with ease. Janet, born and brought up in California, had no idea about the IELTS until she moved to study in Canada. Her peers leaned to her for help as her first language was English.

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IELTS Band 9 sample essay

Band 9 Sample answers are useful as study guides for IELTS preparation for the IELTS Writing Task 2 essay – especially for a band 9 IELTS essay. Having access to previously completed work that you can have confidence in will show you what you are missing!

Take a look at these sample task 2 essay questions to help you prepare for your exam.

Use the following IELTS sample essay and its explanations to see how close you are to a band 9 in your IELTS writing essay!

Evaluation Criteria

Get your IELTS essay evaluated online (free)

Examples of Band 9 Essays

IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay Sample Question and Answer(1)

Why is this IELTS Essay a Band 9?

5 Tips for a Band 9 IELTS Essay

Sample IELTS Writing Task 2 Question and Answer(2)

Sample IELTS Writing Task 2 Question and Answer (3)

Useful Definitions of Advanced Vocabulary Used

Video: Band 9 EX-IELTS Examiner Essay Review

Sample 19 IELTS Essays and 240 Task 2 Essay Questions Ebook

Video: Useful IELTS Essay Writing Tip

Audio Resources

Additional IELTS Resources

IELTS essay task 2: evaluation criteria

IELTS writing tests are evaluated across 4 areas when your band score is calculated:

  • Task achievement  – To what extent does the examinee address all parts of the task with a fully developed position, inclusive of fully extended and well supported ideas?
  • Coherence and cohesion  – Does the candidate logically organise the information and ideas? Is the entire essay cohesive with a logical progression of ideas?
  • Lexical resource  – To what extent does the examinee use a wide range of vocabulary with accuracy? Do they demonstrate sophistication regarding the use of lexical items?
  • Grammatical range and accuracy  – Does the examinee use a range of grammatical structures accurately? Examples of these can be the use of complex sentences with sophisticated clauses instead of simple sentences with a repetitive structure:

Example : Students cannot use phones. They affect development > students are not allowed to use mobile phones in class due to possible distractions.

The British Council (the administrator of the IELTS) outlines 9 different bands of performance for each of the above dimensions here. Your scores in each of these dimensions are averaged to determine your overall band for your essay.

Let's take a look at an example essay that scored as band 9 and then we'll dig into each of these four areas to see why it received that score. It's very important to understand what the IELTS examiner is looking for.

These four criteria are used in our new online essay checker that gives you an estimated band score (free).

IELTS essay sample question (1)

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

IELTS sample essay answer (1)

Parents throughout the world place spend time reading with their offspring to prepare them for school where their literacy skills are further developed; however, recent research suggests that focusing on reading at an early age can be detrimental, and participating in fun activities would be far more beneficial. I am a strong advocate of this approach, and the benefits of it will be covered in this essay.

A fundamental reason for this is that there is no biological age for reading, and pushing infants to acquire this skill before they are ready could have repercussions. For example, in the UK, many boys are reluctant readers, possibly because of being forced to read, and this turned them off reading. By focusing on other activities and developing other skills such as creativity and imagination, when they are ready to read, they usually acquire this skill rapidly.

In addition, the importance of encouraging creativity and developing a child's imagination must be acknowledged. Through play, youngsters develop social and cognitive skills, for example, they are more likely to learn vocabulary through context rather than learning it from a book.

Furthermore, play allows youngsters to mature emotionally, and gain self-confidence. There is no scientific research which suggests reading at a young age is essential for a child's development, moreover, evidence suggests the reverse is true. In Finland, early years' education focuses on playing.

Reading is only encouraged if a child shows an interest in developing this skill. This self-directed approach certainly does not result in Finnish school leavers falling behind their foreign counterparts. In fact, Finland was ranked the sixth-best in the world in terms of reading.

Despite being a supporter of this non-reading approach, I strongly recommend incorporating bedtime stories into a child's daily routine. However, reading as a regular daytime activity should be swapped for something which allows the child to develop other skills.

Why is this essay a band 9?

Task achievement.

According to the IELTS Writing Band Descriptors, an essay is Band 9 for Task Achievement if it:

  • Fully addresses  all parts of the task
  • Presents a  fully developed  position in answer to the question with relevant, fully extended and well supported ideas.

In order to score well on Task Achievement, the most important thing is  to make sure you respond to what is being asked of you . Is the prompt asking for an opinion, a discussion of a problem, a solution to a problem, or some combination of these? If you provide an opinion and not a solution when you're being asked for a solution, you're not going to score well in this area. Read the question carefully!

The prompt for this essay asks:  “To what extent do you agree [with the previous statement]? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.”  It wants an opinion – with support!

This essay addresses all parts of this task. The opinion is included in the introduction to make the writer's position clear, and then the following paragraphs support the writer's position with examples and justifications. Overall, the response is full and relevant and each of the points is detailed and connected to the thesis.

Coherence and cohesion

Think of this as “How well does the essay flow? Is it easy to follow and does it all tie together?” The exact characteristics for a Band 9 C&C score are that an essay:

  • Uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention
  • Skilfully manages paragraphing

Note the specific wording “it attracts no attention.” The goal here is for things to sound natural and not forced. How do you connect your ideas (ensure cohesion) without it sounding forced? I think there are 2 possible ways:

  • Explain your ideas in a logical order so that you don't need many linking words . This is probably what you do when writing in your own language.
  • Use easy linking words like and, but, also, firstly, secondly, finally, for example. These are so common that they attract almost no attention.

This IELTS Sample essay does a good job of this – you'll notice that each paragraph naturally (logically) follows the one prior, providing additional support for the original opinion, and some simple linking words –  in addition, furthermore  (both paragraph 2) and  moreover  (paragraph 3) – are used throughout. These are all good discourse markers that show what is coming next adds to the argument and are slightly more sophisticated than firstly, secondly, and thirdly but don't come across as being forced.

The other aspect to scoring high in C&C is ensuring an essay is well-structured. What do I mean by that? A well-structured essay has a good introduction, body paragraphs that are easy to follow and connect with one another, and a good conclusion. Each body paragraph should also have its own topic sentence and support and then smoothly transition to the next paragraph.

Our sample IELTS essay has a “simple but good” introduction in which it shows that the examinee has knowledge of the topic and clearly states the writer's position to set up the rest of the essay. The paragraphs all have topic sentences, which are then supported by examples, and are easy to follow. The main body and conclusion relate back to the thesis in the introduction.

A note on conclusions…  there are two schools of thought when it comes to how to conclude an IELTS essay. One is to conclude with one simple sentence so that you spend more time perfecting your main body paragraphs. The other is to wrap up with two sentences, once which includes a small prediction (ie, how you think things might turn out) as a way to show the examiner that you know how to correctly use another tense (which will help boost your GR&A score – more on that in a minute). Either is fine, just don't forget your conclusion!

Taking time to plan out and organise your response  before  you start writing is an extremely important step in scoring well in Coherence and Cohesion for your IELTS essay – make sure you do so to ensure your essay is well structured and reads cohesively when you're done!

Lexical resource

Scoring well in the  Lexical Resource  dimension is all about (correctly) showing off your vocabulary. The description for a Band 9 here is:

  • Uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features, rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips'

Collocations,  topic-specific  vocabulary  and  phrasal  verbs  are the name of the game here. To score well, an examinee needs to show that they have a wide-ranging vocabulary and they know how to use it.

Our sample essay does a solid job of showing off a  range of vocabulary  – you'll notice that while the essay frequently refers to children, the writer employs different vocabulary ( infants, youngsters, offspring, counterparts ) to do so.

Note : it is highly likely that you will need to refer to people/children in your IELTS Writing task 2 , so make sure that you have lots of different words to use to refer to them.

IELTS examiners do not like to see the words  “people,” “children”  over and over again! The same goes for the word “ important ” – make sure you have plenty of alternative phrases ( essential  and  vital  are both used in our sample essay).

Other examples of a  wide-ranging vocabulary  in our essay include using  rapidly  in place of  quickly ,  mature  instead of develop,  repercussions  to indicate a negative result, and  acquire  in place of learn.

Our sample essay also does a good job of using  collocations  – some examples include  “fundamental reason,” “reluctant readers” “social and cognitive skills,” “learn vocabulary through context,”  and  “strongly recommend.”

The correct use of  phrasal  verbs  also demonstrates one's grasp of English – because of the semantics involved, they are sometimes one of the most difficult things for English language learners to master. Our essay writer correctly uses a few of these including “ turned them off”  and  “falling behind .”

One note here: students preparing for the IELTS  often ask if they should use  idioms  (like “you're barking up the wrong tree”) in their essays to further demonstrate their grasp of the language. In my opinion, no, you shouldn't. Idioms are informal by nature and not appropriate for a written essay of this type. Stick with demonstrating your range of vocabulary and your ability to use phrasal  verbs  correctly!

Grammatical range and accuracy

The final scoring dimension is related to grammar and grammatical structures – do you know them and can you correctly use them?

The Band 9 description for grammatical range and accuracy :

  • Uses a wide range of structures with full flexibility and accuracy; rare minor errors occur only as slips

Note that there is nothing in the scoring criteria about including specific tenses or sentence constructions. Your main objective should be to reduce the number of mistakes that you make. An essay that contains no mistakes is likely to get a 9 for grammar, regardless of the types of sentence that it may or may not contain.

If there is a nice mix of long and short sentences in your IELTS essays, you'll meet the grammar requirements. Remember, as soon as you write a “long” sentence you are naturally going to use connectives (linking words), which will make the sentence ‘compound' or ‘complex'. So, don't think too much about the grammar – just aim to reduce the number of mistakes that you make, and try to include a few longer sentences.

Some examples from the sample essay that illustrate the writer's grammatical range and help it easily score as a band 9 include:

  • appropriate uses of modal verbs in the passive voice:  “are further developed,” “will be covered,” “must be acknowledged,” “should be swapped.”
  • “ to focus on ” is correctly followed by an -ing form
  • However  is used correctly with a semicolon before it and a comma after
  • “ because of ,” “rather than,” and are correctly followed by -ing verbs

5 Tips for an IELTS writing task 2 band 9 essay

1. answer what is being asked.

Make sure you read the prompt carefully and answer the essay questions you’re being asked. I can’t emphasise this enough. In order to score well on Task Achievement, you need to appropriately and fully address the task.

2. Plan your work, work your plan.

Plan out your essay before you start writing. What are your main points? What order are you going to make them in? How do they link together? Having a well organised essay is key scoring high marks for Coherence and Cohesion. Many IELTS test-takers will spend up to 10 minutes planning out their essay before they start writing. A few points to keep in mind:

  • Your essay should have 4-5 paragraphs in total and at least 250 words
  • Plan your supporting points so that they don’t go off-topic

3. Write, review, re-write

Write your essay, review it and then “rewrite” it. Don’t focus on getting things perfect upfront – you don’t want to waste 15 minutes trying to come up with the perfect synonym for something and then not have enough time to finish your full essay! Write your essay first (an unwritten essay won’t score well at all!) and then go back through it to see how you can improve it. Some essay questions to ask yourself at this stage:

  • Are there places where you can swap out stronger words for weaker ones in order to improve your Lexical Resource score?
  • Are there places where you can phrase things differently in order to illustrate your Grammatical Range?

4. Where are you falling?

To pass with a Band 9 the reality is you need two sets of skills:

  • Exam skills
  • Language skills

What are exam skills?

Can you plan an effective essay? Quickly? Ideally between 3-5 minutes.

Can you think of enough ideas and examples to put in the essay plan?

Firstly you need to discover which of these skills you need. To do this you get feedback, either from an online IELTS essay checker or for more detailed feedback you can use our IELTS essay correction service .

The main goal is to find out which part of the essay writing process is costing you the most amount of time, points or stress.

Personally, the easiest and fastest way to get these skills is to do an online course specialised in training students with these skills. Here is a good course for that.

5. Better language skills?

A lot of students fail the  IELTS exam or end up with a band in their IELTS writing test that does not meet their requirements. Also, a significant number of students look to Google to search for “IELTS Writing tips” or “Task two tips”. These tips might be helpful but sometimes the real problem might just be in their general language or writing skills.

Writing error-free perfect sentences is probably much more challenging than students think, especially under exam conditions i.e in 40 minutes with immense pressure to pass. These can result in often mixed outcomes with both positive or negative development occurring at one and the same time.

One of the most important ways to improve language skills is to receive feedback. This can be by asking someone to review written work and will expose the positive or negative development mentioned earlier. This is very common and not something that is a negative issue overall.

Have a look at our essay correction service that will review your essays for you and help you improve and pass the IELTS test.

Here is a checklist of what is needed for reaching Band 9, it includes what the examiner wants to see, and what to do to write at a Band 9 level.

Sample IELTS writing task 2 question (2)

Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the causes and solutions.

IELTS writing task 2: essay sample answer (2)

The global phenomenon of urbanisation from the beginning of industrialisation to the present day has brought opportunity and prosperity, albeit at a cost in the quality of life. With an increasing city population, the complexity of the challenges also increases for the globe as well as the local community. Therefore, the causes and effects of these on the current generation, as well as possible solutions are outlined below.

The causes for the decrease in the quality of life are paradoxically the prosperity endowed on such metropolitan centres. Their growth is largely due to the increase of opportunities on offer, which in turn increases their attractiveness, essentially they are trapped in a positive self-reinforcing cycle. While such developments have a positive impact on immediate economic objectives, it perpetuates behaviours that can have a negative impact in the long term.

However, this eventually leads to a decrease in the quality of life as the city can experience overcrowding, exorbitant property prices, and increased vulnerability to terrorist attacks. For example, the density of London makes it a more efficient place to attack, when compared to a smaller city such as Bradford.

Therefore, due to continuous growth and prosperity, urban citizens, especially the less well off, often experience a lower standard of living. Even greater than this, are the relevant examples of natural disasters such as recent fires in Australia, which brought about unprecedented weather patterns resulting in the destruction of wild and rare animals. These effects are far from uniform, as they affect different countries in ways unseen by previous generations.

Considering the solutions, greater investment in public transport would ease traffic congestion, as would bike lanes. In theory, this would reduce air pollution, and possibly improve the well-being of the population if they did adopt a more active lifestyle and cycle to work. While these solutions are local, if adopted globally, would affect individuals and many countries alike. A collective effort is needed to use social networks and other media to highlight the negative effect of urbanisation as well as the negative sides of the wider ramifications on the population.

To conclude, while it could be argued that urbanisation advantages outweigh the disadvantages, a wealthy city attracts a large population inflow, which then causes pressure on existing infrastructure and security. Various solutions exist to mitigate such drawbacks, such as social networks being used to raise awareness of such negative impacts on many countries, nevertheless an indefinite solution has yet to be found.

Sample IELTS writing task 2 question (3)

Social media marketing can influence what consumers buy. Do you agree or disagree? To what extent do you agree?

IELTS writing task 2: essay sample answer (3)

Since the introduction of social media applications in the early 2000's the world has become a much smaller place. Social media applications such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter have become information sources for a majority of the global market.

As such, it could be argued that marketing, which happens to be a source of information accessible on these platforms can influence the consumers who use them. This notion is further aided by the rise in online retail stores that conduct the bulk of their transactions online. This makes it easier for the consumer to purchase from anywhere in the world.

As a consumer on social media, you are constantly bombarded with advertisements of various products that are specifically designed to catch your attention. This means that most of the adverts on your news feeds aren't random and will almost always feature something you have previously searched online or something currently popular or trending. Given the fact that most social media users are young consumers who are influenced by current trends and happenings, these adverts will almost always catch their eye.

The habit of sharing, retweeting and liking also ensure that these adverts get around, quite fast. As such, when an advert does reach your news feed you have already probably seen it on your friend's news feed. The truth is, adverts are a form of information and with the age of the internet, information spreads faster than a wildfire.

Therefore, it only makes sense that in the era and age of technology, globalization and the need to be trendy, social media marketing can influence what consumers buy.

Useful definitions of advanced vocabulary used

IELTS Writing Task 2: Useful definition

Paradoxically

Equivalent sentences

“For example, it is said, the CCTV in London has foiled many potential attacks, and therefore greatly increased the security of its citizens.” Could also be said as:

“Statistics show that CCTV used in London has scuppered many a terrorist plot, massively contributing to the security of its citizens.”

More Equivalent sentences Various solutions exist to mitigate such drawbacks, nevertheless an indefinite solution has yet to be found.

Could also be said as:

A myriad of partial fixes exist for these issues, yet a permanent solution is still out of reach.

There are many methods employed to quell this flow of people, but still a reliable solution has not been discovered.

IELTS writing task 2: vocabulary booster

The highlighted sections in the following paragraph represent key phrases or words relating to this topic. Study this paragraph to expand your vocabulary knowledge on this topic:

The modern urban environment varies considerably depending on both the city that produces it and the individual who perceives it; Each experiencing a unique blend of at least some economic success, varying degrees of localised or wider deprivation and periods of growth and decline. Environmental factors permitting, a city will provide well for its citizens as long as it can properly manage the execution of social policy.

Globalisation presents many challenges for those responsible for the policy as large inflows of people are to be expected in a place of success and therefore opportunity; The ensuing mixing of cultures has far-reaching social consequences that can affect how the city is both presented and perceived.

Considerably Con·sid·er·a·ble (kən-sĭd′ər-ə-bəl) adj. 1. Large in amount, extent, or degree: a writer of considerable influence. 2. Worthy of consideration; significant: The economy was a considerable issue in the campaign.

Perceive Per·ceive (pər-sēv′) tr.v. per·ceived, per·ceiv·ing, per·ceives 1a. To become aware of (something) directly through any of the senses, especially sight or hearing: We could perceive three figures in the fog. 1b. To cause or allow the mind to become aware of (a stimulus): The ear perceives sounds. 2. To achieve understanding of; apprehend: Einstein perceived that energy and matter are equivalent . 3. To regard or consider; deem: an old technology that is still perceived as useful; a politician who is perceived to be untrustworthy.

Deprivation Dep·ri·va·tion (dĕp′rə-vā′shən) n. 1. The/an act or an instance of depriving; Loss . 2. The state of being deprived: social deprivation; a cycle of deprivation and violence.

“The town’s generally miserable appearance led her to perceive it as a place of considerable deprivation.”

IELTS writing task 2: further reading

There are many more writing samples for you to explore.

The BBC has great pages on discursive writing and general writing , also, this video is good for learning how to give examples.

You can even read a sample Harvard essay aimed at preparing students for academic writing.

Remember! Select a text that is appropriate for your level. Choosing the wrong text can result in a loss of confidence and feeling bad never helped anyone to learn anything quickly!

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Optimize Your Writing: Try Our Online IELTS Essay Checker

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To sum it up, our online IELTS essay checker is here to help you. It's easy to use and not costly. We want you to do your best in the IELTS without spending too much money. Good luck with your writing!

Additional IELTS writing task 2 resources

  • The University of Manchester Academic Phrasebook provides guidelines and examples of how to introduce essay topics, discuss findings and write conclusions
  • The University of Birmingham Guide to Academic Writing provides tips on paraphrasing, in addition to how to plan, structure and write an essay
  • Use these useful sentences for IELTS Writing Task 2 .
  • This page is good for sample essay topics and answers, also for Task Two.

IELTS writing essay task 2 Sample Band 8 The writing part of your IELTS exam is a great place to score some extra points, especially if you are looking to score within band 8. Here is a task 2 writing sample to help you do just that.

Vocabulary for IELTS Vocabulary is probably the most important part of preparing successfully for IELTS. It is used for both the speaking and writing part of the exam. Click here to view some essential vocabulary.

General essay topics The IELTS exam has a number of general essay topics that span a number of disciplines ad subject matters. To have an idea of what to expect check out our list of general essay topics.

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Sample Essay on Rising Crime Rates

Posted by David S. Wills | Nov 21, 2022 | Model Essays | 0

Sample Essay on Rising Crime Rates

There are many common IELTS topics that you frequently see in task 2 of the writing test, and one of those is the topic of crime. Today, we are going to look at a sample essay relating to this subject and I’ll point out some useful ideas in terms of vocabulary and structure.

Analysing the Question

Before you start any IELTS essay, you should spend a moment thinking about the question. This is important because sometimes they can be trickier than they initially appear.

Here’s our question for today:

In many countries, the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about it?

Fortunately, this is not a difficult question. The meaning is pretty straightforward and I think most people could grasp what they need to do. Ultimately, you need to do two things:

  • Say why crime is increasing in frequency and level of violence
  • Suggest some solutions to this problem

This is what’s known as either a “ cause and solution essay ” or “problem and solution essay.” Either way, you have two parts – either a cause or a problem and then a solution to that problem.

It is important you don’t focus only on one part. Also, in this particular question, don’t overlook the fact that it’s about both rising crime levels and rising violence levels.

Generating Ideas

This isn’t the easiest question to answer. Actually, it took me a while to think of some good ideas for it because, to the best of my knowledge, crime (and especially violent crime) has actually been decreasing in recent decades! Look at this line graph:

crime ielts essay band 9

Of course, that’s just for Western Europe, and in some parts of the world the opposite trend can be observed. Here, we can see that some places have, sadly, seen a rise in homicides (that means the same as murder):

crime ielts essay band 9

Considering the question, I had to think creatively. In those places that I don’t really know about, what factors could have caused rising crime levels and in particular rising violent crime rates?

To answer questions like this, it’s not enough just to be good at English. You need to have a good general knowledge and that means you should read widely, listen to podcasts, watch the news, and become an informed world citizen.

I have a whole article on learning to generate great ideas for IELTS essays.

Structuring your Essay

When it comes to cause and solution essays, I typically structure them like this:

crime ielts essay band 9

There may be other great ways to structure your essay, but this is my preference. It allows me to write sample answers quickly and effectively, putting forth my position as clearly as possible in a very short time.

Think about it: You have two things to write, so why not put one in each of your body paragraphs? Simple!

I will structure this essay as follows:

In this sort of essay, it can be hard to write an introduction and in particular an essay outline . That’s because you aren’t putting forth any opinion and instead you’re hinting at the ideas that you will explain later.

I want to make clear in my essay that this is not an easy situation to explain and that it will also be hard to fix! Don’t worry. You can be honest. It’s better to give a nuanced explanation than to simply say, “We need the government to solve it.” That is simplistic and lacks intelligence.

Finally, remember to include a conclusion that summarises your ideas without repeating them.

Vocabulary about Crime

I have a whole article on the IELTS topic of crime and punishment . It gives lots of vocabulary and even includes a helpful video that can make learning more interesting!

In this essay, I will use the following words and phrases:

Remember that you can always learn more crime-related vocabulary by searching on Google News or just reading the newspaper each day. I highly recommend that you check out websites such as BBC News and The Guardian . You will see a lot of articles about crime there.

Sample Band 9 Answer

In some parts of the world, crime rates are increasing and the types of crime are becoming more violent. This can be attributed to urbanisation and the deterioration of traditional values and, in order to fix it, societies will need to work to give people more opportunities.

Whilst crimes rates are plummeting in most parts of the world, in some places they are on the rise. Obviously, the reasons for this depend on the individual location, but generally it seems to happen because people are moving from traditional ways of living to big cities. The problem is that, in small communities, people have purpose and accountability. In other words, a young man would be known by all the people in his village and have a job to do in order to contribute to that society. However, when the village disbands and he goes to the big city, it is not easy to make a good living. He might become part of a gang or become addicted to drugs. Without accountability and in the comparatively anonymous environment of the big city, he could easily become engaged in desperate and violent crimes.

Fixing this sort of problem is never easy, but there are various approaches. Certainly, it helps to improve policing but perhaps the problem can be stopped at its root if people are given more education and opportunity. These people would likely not turn to crime if they were supported as part of a community. Again, this is not an easy thing to facilitate, but it is possible through different approaches. Ultimately, the aim needs to be maintaining social values and giving people a sense of responsibility and purpose. When people have these things, they are much less likely to engage in violent crimes.

In conclusion, there are myriad reasons for crime rates increasing but perhaps urbanisation and the loss of traditional values are to blame. Giving people purpose and making them accountable for their own actions could counteract this.

As I mentioned above, I felt surprised that this question talked about rising crime rates but it does make sense when you think that certain countries or parts of countries are indeed experiencing this problem. Thus, I tried to put my feelings forward with careful explanations.

You will see that my body paragraphs are quite complex. That’s because this is not a simple topic. I don’t feel it’s possible to get a band 9 for Task Response without explaining just how complex the causes and solutions to crime are. It is not an easy issue to discuss.

You will see that I’ve avoided any bizarre vocabulary. Long-term readers of this blog will know that such an approach is not helpful. The best thing is to use the right word, whatever that may be. Aim for accuracy rather than obscurity.

About The Author

David S. Wills

David S. Wills

David S. Wills is the author of Scientologist! William S. Burroughs and the 'Weird Cult' and the founder/editor of Beatdom literary journal. He lives and works in rural Cambodia and loves to travel. He has worked as an IELTS tutor since 2010, has completed both TEFL and CELTA courses, and has a certificate from Cambridge for Teaching Writing. David has worked in many different countries, and for several years designed a writing course for the University of Worcester. In 2018, he wrote the popular IELTS handbook, Grammar for IELTS Writing and he has since written two other books about IELTS. His other IELTS website is called IELTS Teaching.

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Some People Say That Crime Rate Nowadays Is Decreasing Due To Advances In Technology | Band 9 IELTS Essay Sample

by Manjusha Nambiar · Published March 15, 2024 · Updated March 15, 2024

Some people say that the crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advances in technology, while others say the opposite. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Here is a band 9 IELTS essay on this topic. Need help with IELTS writing? Get your IELTS essays, letters and reports corrected by me.

Band 9 IELTS essay sample

According to some people, technology is used as a means of committing crime while others insist that the crime rates will dwindle as technology advances. Although I do admit that technology can aid crime to an extent, in my opinion, it eventually helps to lower / reduce the crime rates.

On the one hand, criminals as well as police take advantage of modern technology. To be specific, while technology makes it easy for the police to nab / catch criminals, it also enables criminals to execute their nefarious plans with greater precision. Cyber crime is an example of this. By hacking people’s personal devices such as laptops or mobile phones, fraudsters can steal their financial information and wipe their bank accounts clean. Social media accounts also run the risk of getting hacked and misused. Criminals are befriending gullible strangers on social media and exploiting them in various ways. Thus, technology in modern times obviously facilitates many types of crimes.

Even so, in my opinion, technology also has the power to reduce crime rates. The deployment of CCTV cameras on streets and offices has curbed crime to a great extent. Criminals are aware that cameras are tracking their every move round the clock and this makes them wary of committing crime. Advancements in forensic technology have also enabled investigators to solve criminal cases with greater accuracy. New scanning technologies make it impossible for criminals to hide their true identity and thus enable the police to catch the real culprit. Obviously, advanced technology plays a crucial role in preventing and solving crime.

In conclusion, technology can facilitate some crimes but at the same time, it prevents or solves more crimes. Technology makes it easy for investigators to catch the culprits and thus it instils fear in the mind of potential criminals. Hence, I believe advanced technology is definitely beneficial for alleviating the crime rate.

crime ielts essay band 9

Manjusha Nambiar

Hi, I'm Manjusha. This is my blog where I give IELTS preparation tips.

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IELTS Band 9 Essays

Do you know the difference between an IELTS Band 6 essay and an IELTS Band 9 essay for Writing Task 2?

Most IELTS students don’t, and this is what prevents them from getting the scores they need.

What does an IELTS Band 9 Essay look like?

An IELTS Band 9 Essay is one that shows the examiner that you are an expert user of English.  The official IELTS scale describes an expert user in the following way:

“The test taker has fully operational command of the language. Their use of English is appropriate, accurate and fluent, and shows complete understanding.”

In writing, this means you need to achieve a band 9 in each of the four IELTS marking criteria:

Task response

  • Coherence and cohesion

Lexical resource

Grammatical range and accuracy.

Here is a description of the marking criteria for an IELTS Band 9 Essay for Writing Task 2:

That’s quite complex, so I’ve simplified it for you:

  • Answer all parts of the question
  • Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Organise your ideas in logical paragraphs
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Use cohesive devices (also known as ‘linking words’) accurately
  • Don’t use too many or too few cohesive devices
  • Vary your cohesive devices by using synonyms
  • Try to vary your vocabulary, using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common topic-specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Use a variety of appropriate structures
  • Check your writing for errors

If you want to know more about the marking criteria for other bands, you can download the full Writing Task 2 band descriptors here.

Watch my video below for the biggest differences between an IELTS Band 6 Essay and an IELTS Band 9 Essay.

crime ielts essay band 9

Opinion essay  

Band 9 essay sample  .

To see a lesson on the question above, click here .

Discussion essay  

Band 9 essay sample , problems and solutions essay  , advantages and disadvantages essay  .

There are two types of advantages and disadvantages questions:

  • Type 1 – Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.
  • Type 2 – Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

For more information about these two types of questions, have a look at our page here .

Band 9 Essay Sample (Type 1) 

Band 9 essay sample 1 (type 2) .

To see a lesson on both of the questions above, click here .

Double Question essay  

Band 9 essay sample, what about task 1  what does a band 9 task 1 answer look like for ielts academic and ielts general training.

Just like for Task 2, a Band 9 Task 1 answer needs to show the examiner that the test taker is an expert user of English who can respond fully to all of the marking criteria.  

For more information about how to write a Band 9 Task 1 answer, have a look at our page for Writing Task 1 . 

If you’d like to see the marking criteria for IELTS Task 1, you can download a full description here .

For more about the difference between IELTS Academic and IELTS General, check out our page about IELTS preparation here or this page on the official IELTS website .

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IELTS Essays About Crime

Jump to: Opinion Essays , Discussion Essays , Discussion and Opinion Essays , or Situation Essays

Opinion Essays

The death penalty should be available as a punishment for serious crimes.

To what extent do you agree?

Certain groups of society believe that the most efficient way of lowering crime rates is to be able to implement the death penalty for crimes which are the most serious. Others believe that this is not the case and makes no difference. Personally, I am completely against the use of the death penalty and this essay shall explore some of the reasons for this view point.

Firstly, a major drawback of the death penalty is that it is irreversible and could be handed out incorrectly. Although forensic scientists are becoming more and more advanced there is still a chance that mistakes are made and innocent people are executed. A classic case of this was Colin Ross, who in 1922 was executed but later evidence proved that he was actually innocent and in fact he was later pardoned in 2008.

In addition to the above arguments is the fact that some people are of the opinion that the death penalty has no place in a civilized society. To kill another human being for whatever reason should be considered a very low immoral act which demonstrates a lack of appreciation for the precious gift of life which we have all been given. Furthermore, most major religions of the world express the need for forgiveness. Executing inmates on death row is as far from this particular teaching as you could get.

Overall, it can be said that innocent people can be executed wrongfully and that a truly developed society should be able to find a more productive way of dealing with serious criminals. I therefore remain firmly of the stand point that the death penalty is totally unethical and ineffective

Internet crime is increasing rapidly as growing numbers of people purchase goods over the internet. What can be done to tackle this problem?

Following a significant increase in the number of financial transactions taking place online in recent years, internet crime levels have also increased dramatically. I believe this is due to the fact that people often think that they are safe when they are sat behind a computer and that they cannot be caught easily. This essay shall explore some ways of reducing these types of crimes.

One of the most effective ways of reducing online crime levels might be to make every internet user log-in with their passport number or national identification card number. Most countries assign at least one of these numbers to each citizen so this would make it very easy to track down who had done what crime and when. If potential criminals were made to identify themselves online in this manner when they first log on then it may cause them to think twice about conducting illegal activities.

Another method which may also aid online crime reduction would be to regulate the websites that the general public was allowed to access. This would mean that rather than the public being able to visit any type of websites they want to, they would only be allowed to access websites which were secure and not linked in any way to criminal activity. For example, certain web-sites such as Alphabaymarket.com sell fire-arms and drugs and are infamous for being places where illegal activities and transactions take place. Eliminating access to them could therefore aid in crime level reduction.

Overall, making people identify themselves online and restricting access to certain web-sites could help in online crime reduction. Personally, I feel the government need to take responsibility for implementing some or all of the above ideas.

Some people believe that poverty is the cause of most crimes.

Do you agree or disagree?

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crime ielts essay band 9

While some people believe prison is the best place for criminals others think that there are better ways to handle them.

What is your opinion?

Violence in society increases when more violence is shown on television.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some communities the teenage crime rate is growing. Some people believe that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive punishment that is the same as an adults.

Some people believe certain prisoners should be forced to do community work with no pay rather than being simply kept inside a prison cell.

The crime rate nowadays is lower than in the past because of the increased use of advanced technology which can prevent and solve crimes.

Some countries are experiencing an increase in the rates of crime. Many people believe that getting more police walking the streets is the best way to prevent crime from occurring.

Discussion Essays

Back to top

Many people think that having one single fixed punishment for all crimes would be more effective.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a fixed punishment?

Discussion and Opinion Essays

Some people think that giving harsher prison sentences and punishments is the best way to reduce crime rates, others however believe there are alternative methods that need to be explored.

Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to hand out longer prison sentences, whilst other people think that there are better methods of doing reducing crime.

Discuss both views and give your opinion .

Some people think that the government should be responsible for reducing crime, where as others believe individuals should take responsibility for their own safety and security.

Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many criminals after being released go on to commit further crimes as soon as they are allowed out of prison.

What do you think are the causes of this and what possible solutions can you suggest?

Situation Essays

In some poorer areas of large cities people are too afraid to leave their houses at night time due to a fear of crime.

What are the causes of crime in those areas and what can be done to tackle those problems?

In many large cities around the world youth crime is growing at a fast rate.

What are the reasons for this and suggest some solutions.

Crime rates in most countries are often higher in urban areas than in rural areas.

What do you think are the reasons for this and what can be done to lower the crime rates?

It is thought that the increase in youth crime rates can be linked to an increase in violence shown in the media.

Do you agree that this is the main factor causing juvenile crime and what ideas can you offer to deal with the situation?

Many crimes are often linked to the consumption of alcohol. Some people think that banning alcohol sales would dramatically reduce crime.

Do you think it is an effective measure against crime and what other solutions can you suggest?

IELTS Writing Task 1 (Academic)

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crime ielts essay band 9

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crime ielts essay band 9

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crime ielts essay band 9

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crime ielts essay band 9

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How to write an IELTS Essay at band 9 level

This comprehensive article guides you through the processes and techniques of writing an essay that would get you a band score of 9. This is an extensive article, so read it carefully and grasp the concept. Use the examples to understand the concepts explained in it.

In IELTS writing task 2, a candidate needs to write an essay of at least 250 words that examine, support, or oppose a statement through the use of discussions, reasons, logic, arguments, explanations and examples . The essay should aim to state an opinion on a given statement, investigate an issue, discuss a given topic or persuade the readers (the examiner in this case) about something.

Now, an effective way to score well in IELTS writing task 2 is to know where one can gain or lose marks. The essay will be evaluated based on the four marking criteria, and each criterion offers 25% of the total score. Hence, let’s have a look at the assessment criteria first.

IELTS Essay has 4 assessment criteria. They are: 1) Task Achievement 2) Coherence and Cohesion 3) Grammatical Range and Accuracy 4) Lexical Resource

1) Task Achievement:

This criterion assesses the extent to which a candidate can meet the requirements of the task. So, the candidate should sufficiently address all the parts of the question. In other words, he or she ought to form a well-organized response to the task with relevant, supported and extended notions. This can be achieved by having a clear understanding of the task. Otherwise, it will lead to an inaccurate answer. The best approach to do this is to interpret the question correctly.

Task Achievement Dos:

  • Answer the specific question being asked, not the general topic. [The essay question often includes a general topic or statement at the beginning of the essay which is not a part of the real essay question. You should find out what the essay topic is asking you to write about.]
  • Make sure the ideas are directly relevant to the question. [The ideas and arguments you present in your essay should always be relevant and never off-topic.]
  • Properly address each part of the question. [If the essay asks you two questions, for example, address them both with proper examples and explanations.]
  • State the opinion in the introduction and employ supporting paragraphs to support this opinion. [If the question asks you to give your opinion, simply state your position at the end of the “Introduction” paragraph.]
  • Develop key ideas with explanations and examples. [Yes, your essay must have examples and explanations to achieve a higher band score.]
  • Reiterate the opinion in conclusion, or write a solution or generally accepted point or statement.

Task Achievement Don’ts:

  • Devote lots of time to just one part of the question.
  • Provide very general examples.
  • State opinion until the last sentence of the “Conclusion” paragraph.
  • Repeat the same points again and again.
  • Write under 250 words.

Now, let’s look at a bad example first:

Bad example:

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.

Do you agree or disagree?

“Learning a foreign language is crucial for people. Firstly, it boosts brainpower. Secondly, it improves performance in other academic areas. Finally, a second language improves memory.”

Now let’s illustrate why it is a bad example:

The writer introduces three main ideas in this paragraph. But, none of them is well-developed. None of them has explanations and examples as well. For instance, the candidate does not explain how a foreign language may boost young learners’ brains. What is more, you also probably have noticed that it talks about “people”. Although the question is about young students, the author writes about general people. He or she does not write an answer to the specific question. So, the writer has not fully developed his/her ideas. Also, the ideas are irrelevant. So, he/she may get only a 5-5.5 band score for this paragraph.

Let’s look at a good example now:

“Learning a foreign language helps young students with their intellectual development. It has been shown that it supports a child’s brain development, and in fact, helps with subjects like physics and mathematics to a great extent. For instance, a recent study, conducted by the University of Cambridge, has revealed that children who learn a foreign language are more likely to be good at physics.

Let’s explain why it is a good example:

This is a good example mainly because the idea is relevant and specific. The idea is also well-developed. So, it has one main idea that is “learning a foreign language helps young learners with intellectual development.” Intellectual development means that young learners become smarter. In addition, it explains that studying a foreign language helps the brain to understand physics and mathematics in a better way making them good at science. It hasn’t stopped here. It develops the main idea even more by giving a specific example that children who study a foreign language are very likely to do well in physics.

Another good example of the same topic is given below:

Furthermore, it is evident that pupils who start learning a foreign language during their childhood, gain mastery of the language in their adulthood. It helps them communicate effectively and showcase their learning and speaking skills on the one hand and enhances their career prospects in the future on the other hand. To illustrate, a recent study by the University of California reveals that learners who start a foreign language like English, French, German or Spanish at a young age do better academically in their colleges and also show better mastery of these languages in their adulthood. And this mastery of these languages helps them get many competitive advantages in their future career.

This is a good example because it includes a relevant and specific idea at the beginning of the paragraph. The idea is then well-developed by the writer with an explanation. It also gives an example.

Interpreting the IELTS writing task 2 (Essay) question:

Interpreting the meaning of an essay question is crucial to writing a good essay in response. When analysing the question, the candidate should first shed light on these three properties: “Topic words” , “Qualifying words” , “Instruction words” .

To demonstrate these three attributes, take the following essay question:

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The candidate can use the topic words to identify the “subject” of the question. In this essay question, ‘boys’ , ‘girls’ , and ‘the school’ are the three controlling topic words. Topics outside the boundary of boys, girls and school thus have no place in this essay.

Qualifying words tell the candidate how the various notions relate to each other. These words often describe the capacity of the opinion and shape some important thoughts as well. In the above sample question, the phrases “better to educate” and “benefit more” are used. Notice how these phrases clarify what is being said about boys and girls. Likewise, these words separate and mix the qualifying-topic word “school” . Notice how these words mould the question and give it enhanced precision. It’s crucially important for the candidates to understand the degree of this precision to ensure the response is properly aligned with the question.

Instruction words are the words that elicit a response from the candidate. Put simply, these words tell the candidate exactly what to write about and eventually channel the candidate’s essay towards a discussion or argument essay structure. In the above example essay question, the instruction words are – “Discuss both these views and give your own opinion” – a phrase that instructs the candidate to expound both the viewpoints and then venture his/her opinion.

2) Coherence and Cohesion:

“Coherence” in a written piece of work means that the reader can readily understand it. Put simply, coherence is a quality that ensures all the parts of an essay are logically arranged, well-connected and all head to the central focus of the essay. Without coherence, an argument may not make sense or may be difficult for the readers to get the message of the text. It’s a critically important quality of IELTS writing task 2/ IELTS Essay.

Similarly, “cohesion” is how a written piece of work relates its ideas to develop a clear relationship and logical progressions among them. In simple words, it relates to the linking of notions within a sentence, the linking of sentences (links between sentences) within a paragraph, and ultimately the linking between paragraphs.

The coherence and cohesion part of the candidate’s marks is a measure of how logically an essay’s ideas are arranged and connected by the candidate, and how smoothly these ideas flow together. The candidate can achieve coherence by using grammatically correct and short sentences that are concise, and to the point. Cohesion can be maintained by employing phrases or linking words, often called “cohesive devices”, to establish relationships between sentences and paragraphs in the essay.

Below is a list of various cohesive devices and an example of their use. Also, notice the corresponding punctuation:

To maintain sequence:

  • Firstly , separate schools are more relaxing for both girls and boys as they do not have social pressures to worry about, such as impressing the opposite gender.
  • Secondly , separate schools provide the teachers with an opportunity to tailor the curriculum in a way that students can easily connect with.
  • Moreover , separate schools have lesser cliques.
  • Finally , separate schools have a more conducive environment for concentrating on studies.

To provide evidence:

  • For instance , many studies reveal that students in separate schools feel more relaxed than their counterparts.
  • For example , teachers can maintain harmony in the classroom easily.
  • A case in point is the top-ranked schools in our country that are mostly single-gender educational institutes.
  • Take the example of separate schools in India, which have fewer cliques.
  • Many high school students in separate schools, such as those from Asian countries, are good at concentrating on their studies.

To show similarity:

  • Similarly , many high school students in Italy experience grade improvements when educated in separate schools.
  • Likewise , many girls in Indonesia can concentrate more on their studies when educated in separate schools.
  • In tandem with this are the experiences of many boys in Pakistan, whose grades improved when educated in separate schools.
  • Many girls in Malaysia also experienced grade improvements when educated in separate schools.
  • Coupled with this is the experience of many boys in Latin America, whose grades improved when educated in separate schools.

To demonstrate contrast:

  • However , studying in a mixed school impacts positively on the personality of both boys and girls.
  • On the other hand , a mixed-gender classroom provides an environment where girls and boys change their behaviour positively.
  • Many girls and boys in India change their behaviour positively when studying in mixed-gender schools; however , this is not the case in Australia.
  • Many girls and boys in Nepal improved their grades when studying in a mixed-gender classroom, but this is not the case in Germany.
  • Conversely , many girls and boys in India promote sexual equality when studying in mixed-school.
  • It is argued by many people that boys and girls are taught effectively when studying in single-gender schools, yet others believe that boys and girls gain considerable advantage from studying in a co-education system.
  • In contrast , many boys and girls respect each other when studying in the co-education system.

To amplify or extend:

  • Moreover , students in mixed schools improve their grades significantly.
  • Furthermore , several independent studies show that students who are taught in mixed schools prevent gender discrimination.
  • To add to this , a recent body of high-quality research has revealed that students studying in mixed schools perform far better in academics than students studying in single-gender schools.
  • In addition to this , students studying in mixed schools can be more candid than their counterparts.

To present a result:

  • Consequently , the link between the education system and students’ performance is obvious.
  • In mixed schools, girls need to spend most of the day with boys and vice versa. As a result , they learn how to live harmoniously.
  • Thus , students studying in mixed schools change their behaviour positively.
  • Therefore , boys and girls respect each other.
  • Because of this , it can lead to distraction to study.
  • It is clear that there is a close link between the education system and students’ performance.

To draw the conclusion:

  • To reiterate , the co-education system acts as a clear precursor of gender equality.
  • To conclude , the co-education system helps promote gender equality.
  • In conclusion , the co-education system advances gender equality.
  • All things considered , the co-education system is committed to achieving gender equality.

Let’s look at an example and go through some of the features that make an essay coherent. Although it is an entirely subjective judgement, most readers would agree that this is a reasonably coherent paragraph:

The co-education system confers both advantages and disadvantages. It goes without saying that in the presence of the opposite gender, one’s behaviour changes. A case in point is Indian boys, they change their behaviour in presence of girls. Thus , the co-education system reaps such benefits where boys or girls change their behaviour positively. However , this advantage comes at a high price: distraction. Students in mixed-gender schools may think of having a partner. Such thoughts can cause distraction as girls or boys may get attracted to the opposite gender, and if anything goes wrong, it can result in hampering learning, thereby distracting academic studies.

  • Topic sentence: the paragraph begins with a clear, declarative topic sentence that expresses the controlling idea and the rest of the paragraph follows the idea. That is to say that everything in the paragraph deals with the advantages and disadvantages of the co-education system.
  • Key terms (marked in blue colour) : the term “co-education system” is repeatedly introduced in this short paragraph. This shows the reader that the paragraph is about the “co-education system”.
  • Clear transitions (marked in orange colour) : each sentence flows into the next very easily, and the reader can easily see how logically the ideas are organized and connected.

Coherence and Cohesion Dos:

  • Have at least four-paragraph structures. [It means your essay should have at least 4 paragraphs including the “introduction” and “conclusion”.]
  • State main ideas and your opinion in the introduction.
  • Introduce a clear topic sentence in the supporting paragraphs.
  • Use cohesive devices accurately and appropriately.

Coherence and Cohesion Don’ts:

  • Introduce background statement in the introduction.
  • Produce lots of ideas in one paragraph.
  • Use cohesive devices at the beginning of every sentence.

Let’s look at the bad example:

Learning a foreign language is crucial for people. Moreover , it boosts brainpower. Furthermore , it improves performance in other academic areas. Additionally , a second language improves memory. Last but not least , a recent study has revealed that children who learn a foreign language are more likely to be good at physics.

Let’s explain why it is a bad example:

If the candidate uses these words in red called cohesive devices again and again and uses them at the start of every sentence, it demonstrates to the examiner that the candidate doesn’t have good skills in English and he/she is not able to link sentences together without cohesive devices. Besides, “last but not least” is not accurate. Because it is used to give an example. The phrase ‘last but not least’ indicates the last point.

So, let’s look at a good example:

Foreign language helps young learners with their intellectual development. It has been shown that this can help a child’s brain development, and in fact, help with subjects like physics and mathematics. For instance , a recent study has revealed that children who learn a foreign language are more likely to be good at physics.

Let’s clarify why it is a good example:

In this paragraph, the writer employs just two simple cohesive devices. The writer actually gets more marks for using them accurately. This is because a good writer uses simple cohesive devices rather than merely using “moreover”, “furthermore” and so on without context. This paragraph also uses the appropriate cohesive device when giving examples.

3) Grammatical Range and Accuracy:

In the IELTS writing task 2 test, one of the most important areas for a candidate to master is “grammatical range and accuracy”. According to IELTS band descriptors, the test taker has to use a wide range of sentence structures as well as advanced verb forms including modal verbs, conditionals, and passive voice to get a higher band score. Besides, in IELTS writing task 2, punctuation has a profound significance. Put simply, in order to get a high score for grammar, the writing has to be complex, but it also has to be correct. So, devote full attention to those commas, semicolons and other grammar rules.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy Dos:

  • Write error-free sentences.
  • Use a variety of sentence structures.
  • Use complex sentences but use them correctly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy Don’ts:

  • Try to force too many different structures.
  • Try to dazzle the examiner with complex grammar but make mistakes.
  • Write sentences that hinder the meaning being conveyed i.e. stop the examiner from comprehending and guessing the meaning.

Let’s look at an example:

“In the developed world, carbon emission is one of the most debated issues causing global warming and environmental challenges arising from its catastrophic consequences.”

This is a typical sentence from an essay that is trying to be highly complex. The writer has tried to put four simple notions into one sentence and the result is an incoherent and difficult sentence. The writer fails to maintain control of grammar, thus affecting its meaning. If the meaning is affected, the text becomes difficult to understand and that has a negative impact on the band score.

Let’s look at the example again. There are four simple notions that we can write in simple sentences:

  • Carbon emission is a much-debated issue in the developed world.
  • Carbon emission causes global warming.
  • There are environmental challenges associated with global warming.
  • Global warming has catastrophic consequences.

But, if we write all the sentences like this we fail to score higher marks in the IELTS exam. Actually, we need to put them together to form complex sentences. For example:

“One of the most debated issues is carbon emission which causes global warming. There are environmental challenges associated with this problem and its effects have catastrophic consequences.”

Here, four ideas have been put together in two complex sentences. It has been done to make them easy to understand. This way maintaining grammatical range and accuracy become easier.

4) Lexical Resource:

The “lexical resource” is another important area that an IELTS candidate has to pay attention to. That is to say that he or she should use a good variety of vocabulary in order to achieve a high band score in the writing test.

Let’s break this down into small points:

  • Range of vocabulary – The candidate should use a wide range of vocabulary to convey precise meanings. Synonyms can help here. But keep in mind that every word should be used in proper contexts.
  • Correct spelling – Spelling serves a crucial role. So, be sure to use them correctly.
  • Appropriate use of collocations – These are the natural combination of words in a sentence. In order to ace the IELTS writing test, the candidates should learn not only the individual words but also focus on what other words they are used in combination in a sentence.

Lexical Resource Dos:

  • Be careful with grammar and spelling.
  • Use words that are directly relevant to the topic.
  • Be aware of collocations. Use appropriate collocations.

Lexical Resource Don’ts:

  • Repeat the same words over and over.
  • Force complex words into the essay without knowing them accurately.
  • Use wrong synonyms.
  • Learn lists of academic words out of context.
  • Use rare phrases and jargon.
“Research has evidenced that children who have excess screen time are more likely to be myopic .”

This is a common sentence from an essay that has used the medical jargon: myopic. The writer has tried to impress the examiner by inserting the word “ myopic “. This is tricky because jargon includes the words or phrases used in a particular profession, which are difficult for other people to understand. Consequently, the candidate doesn’t get a higher score in the IELTS Writing exam.

It would be far better if the writer uses a simple phrase/word than a very rare phrase or jargon like ‘myopic’. For example:

“Many research has outlined that children who have excess screen time are more likely to have bad eyesight.”

A common phrase ‘bad eyesight’ has been used instead of a less common medical term ‘myopic’. This conveys meaning accurately while making the sentence easy to understand. So, keep it simple and avoid the use of jargon.

Now that you know what criteria are important to reaching a band 9 level IELTS essay, let’s explore some steps to enhance your band score from 5/6 to 8 or 9.

We would now explore a step-by-step guide to understand the process of writing an excellent essay to get a higher band score.

A step-by-step guide to writing a top-notch essay:

Step 1 – analyse the question:.

A candidate has to analyse the question first so as to understand it. In many cases, candidates do not answer the question fully due to their lack of understanding of the question. Consequently, it stops them from achieving a score higher than band 6.

To analyse the question, you have to identify the question type first, then identify topic words, qualifying words and instruction words, one by one. This will help you understand exactly what the question asks you to do. However, the discussion on how to analyse the question has already been explained above.

Step 2 – Plan The Structure:

Candidates who get a higher mark in IELTS writing task 2 always plan their arguments and ideas. A good plan helps them organise their ideas, and then structure their essay before they write it, saving their time and helping them to write a well-structured, coherent essay. The following tasks should be in the planning phase:

A) Creating the structure plan: → Introduction → 1st body paragraph → 2nd body paragraph → Conclusion

B) Generating ideas: Sometimes it proves to be difficult to write a good IELTS essay due to the lack of good ideas. However, there are several ways to overcome this problem. They are: ✓ The common topic familiarization ✓ Mind mapping ✓ Brainstorming ✓ 6 question method ✓ Thinking informal

Anyway, “practice” is the silver bullet for this problem. The more one practices with different topics the more she or he will be able to produce simple and better main ideas in just seconds. In fact, the candidate can be an idea-generating device through practice. So, practice, practice and practice.

Let’s take a look at the example question and create the skeleton plan:

Structure plan: → Introduction: paraphrase the topic and express opinion [i.e. boys and girls reap more benefits from attending mixed schools.] → 1st body paragraph: it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. → 2n body paragraph: boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. → Conclusion: re-paraphrase the introduction and opinion. Alternatively, you can suggest something that would be a good solution to the debate or something that would be accepted by most people. [Example: It is expected that schools teach boys and girls together so that they become responsible and sympathetic individuals in the future who do not allow any gender discriminations.]

Step 3 – Write the introduction paragraph:

The introduction paragraph performs as a roadmap for an essay. It brings up the topic, the writer’s position, and the main points that will be used to strengthen and prove this position. Thus, when a reader reads the introduction of an essay, he/she should know exactly what the rest of the essay will look like.

However, many candidates often produce an introduction with a few common mistakes in them. The common mistakes are:

i) Introducing hooks or long general background statements about the topic. In most cases, essays begin with ‘In modern life……’ or ‘Nowadays….’ followed by general information about the topic. It’s a poor start you can probably make. So, it’s worth bearing in mind that you are asked to answer the question not talking generally about the topic.

ii) Not outlining opinion or main ideas. This is a grave mistake. You should combine opinion with main ideas. In fact, it’s the most important part of the essay that will tell the examiner what you’re going to write in the rest of your essay. If you don’t state your opinion clearly, you will lose marks substantially.

iii) Copying the question. If you just copy the question fully, the examiner will delete or discard it, and you will not get marks for this part of the exam. You can copy some words of the question, but don’t copy the whole question.

Bad and good examples:

Some people say that dangerous sports should be banned since they are deadly and life-threatening.

Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?

An example of a bad “Introduction”:

Nowadays dangerous sports are undeniably is a very controversial issue and some people say that they should be banned. This essay will discuss it and then come up with an opinion.

As you notice a bad example starts with a very common style of introduction, copies phrases and words from the question and doesn’t state an opinion or outline statement. So, the three essential elements are not included in the introduction.

An example of a good “Introduction”:

It is argued by many that extreme sports should be prohibited because they prove fatal and life-threatening. I agree up to a point, but I also think it is the democratic right of an individual to choose whatever sporting activity he or she wants to take part in.

In this “example introduction”, the writer paraphrases the question statement by using synonyms and outlines the opinion and main points. The is a great “introduction” because it meets the three obligatory criteria.

Skeleton of a Good Introduction:

It is very crucial that your introduction is well-structured. In order to do that, you have to include three essential things: A. Paraphrase B. Opinion (answer to the question) C. Outline of the main ideas

You ought to combine these three elements into just two sentences and your introduction should be around 40-60 words. Your introduction shouldn’t be longer than that. Don’t spend too much time writing the “introduction” of your essay.

A) Paraphrase Question: Paraphrasing means repeating the question statement in order to convey the same meaning, but with different words and styles. We can do this by using synonyms, different forms of the same words, and rearranging the clauses.

A higher salary is much more important than job satisfaction.

Paraphrase:

It is argued by many that it is beneficial to land a high-paying job, even if it does not content you at all.

As you see in the paraphrased sentence, some words and phrases have been changed while retaining the same meaning. Instead of ‘higher salary’ , for example, ‘high-paying job’ has been used. Thus, it demonstrates to the examiner that the writer can use a wide range of vocabulary and rephrase the question statement correctly.

B) Opinion (answer to the question) : This sentence is considered to be the most important part of your essay. It demonstrates to the examiner that you’ve understood the question perfectly and will drive to a clear and coherent essay.

Let’s look at the opinion sentence from the previous example:

Here, we’ve two choices- Choice 1: This essay totally agrees with this statement. Choice 2: This essay completely disagrees with this statement.

Opinion (answer to the question): This essay profoundly disagrees with the notion that higher remuneration is more crucial than career satisfaction.

The above sentence clearly states the position of the writer.

C) Outline of the main ideas: Outlining main ideas is another crucial thing in your IELTS essays. Through this, you tell the examiner what you are going to discuss in the main body paragraphs.

Plan: Why I disagree: Job satisfaction brings a sense of fulfilment. Doing what people like keeps them motivated, thus leading to a successful career. Combining opinion and main points: This essay profoundly disagrees with this statement because job satisfaction brings a sense of fulfilment and leads to a successful career as well.

In the above sentence, we simply use the word ‘because’ to combine them.

Putting it all together: Question:

“It is argued by many that it is far more beneficial to land a high-paying job, even if it does not content us at all. This essay profoundly disagrees with this statement because job satisfaction brings a sense of fulfilment and leads to a successful career as well.”

As you can notice, the above “introduction” follows the skeleton that has been outlined above. The rephrased question statement is given in green . The opinion has been given in purple , and the outline of the main ideas is in blue . Thus, this is a great “introduction” with two very simple sentences.

Now, we will through the introduction writing techniques for each easy type:

1. Opinion (Agree or Disagree) Essay Type 2. Advantages and Disadvantages Essay Type 3. Discussion (Discuss both views) Essay Type 4. Problem/Causes and Solution Essay Type 5. Double Question/ Mixed Essay Type

For each type of essay, the “introduction” would be slightly different. Let’s look at the examples for each of the five types of essay questions:

1. Writing Introduction for Opinion (Agree or Disagree) Essays: Question: Some people believe that children should be taught how to manage money at school.

Paraphrase: It is argued by many that schools ought to teach students financial literacy.

Answer to the Question: a) Plan- agree . b) Why I agree: ✓ Lack of financial literacy leads to disastrous consequences. ✓ Helps reach smart financial decisions. c) Opinion and Outline of main points: This essay entirely agrees with that statement because children can make financial decisions carefully, understand basic money management, and lack of financial literacy leads to disastrous consequences.

The whole introduction:

It is argued by many that schools ought to teach students financial literacy. This essay entirely agrees with that statement because children can make financial decisions carefully, understand basic money management, and the lack of financial literacy leads to disastrous consequences. (41 words)

2. Writing Introduction for Advantage and Disadvantage Essays: Question: It is suggested by many that young children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals.

Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Paraphrase: Many people argue that young children ought to acquire basic knowledge of farming such as cultivating vegetables and keeping cattle.

Answer to the Question: a) Plan – Agree that advantages outweigh disadvantages. b) Advantages and Disadvantages Advantages – children can develop good work ethics and soft skills through gaining such farming knowledge. Disadvantages – children get exposed to hazardous pesticides and herbicides and can be distracted from academic studies.

c) Opinion and outline of main points: This essay will argue that despite children getting exposed to hazardous pesticides and herbicides, and being distracted from academic studies, the work ethics and soft skills they develop mean that the benefits outweigh the adverse effects involved in the process.

Many people argue that young children ought to acquire basic knowledge of farming such as cultivating vegetables and keeping cattle. This essay will argue that despite children getting exposed to hazardous pesticides and herbicides, and being distracted from academic studies, the work ethics and soft skills they develop mean that the benefits outweigh the adverse effects involved in the process. (60 words)

The writer here has used ‘despite’ to tell the examiner that many people think so, but he/she believes otherwise.

3. Writing Introduction for Discussion (Discuss both views) Essays: Question: Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Discussion essays introduce two sides of an argument. So, the introduction should be written differently than an opinion essay.

Paraphrase: It is considered by some that zoological gardens help preserve endangered species, yet there are others who regard them as inhumane and opine that zoos ought to be abolished.

You can see two phrases: “it is considered by some” and “yet there are others who regard”. So, there are always two opinions.

Answer to the Question: a) Plan: ✓ Zoos are beneficial because of the breeding programmes for vulnerable species. ✓ Zoos should be abolished because of unnatural environments and cramped cases. b) Opinion and Outline of main points: This will argue that although the breeding programmes contribute significantly to protecting vulnerable species, the writer is of the opinion that zoos should be banned due to inhumane animal conditions.

It is considered by some that zoological gardens help preserve endangered species, yet there are others who regard them as inhumane and opine that zoos ought to be abolished. This will argue that although the breeding program contributes significantly to protecting vulnerable species, I am of the opinion that zoos should be banned due to inhumane animal conditions. (58 words) .

As you can notice that by stating ‘although’, the writer recognizes that some people think that zoos are inhumane and should be abolished, but he/she doesn’t think the same way. However, we’ve introduced both views, answered the question and outlined our key points. So, it meets three essential criteria for a good introduction.

You must bear in mind is that you shouldn’t just write “This essay will discuss both views and then come to a reasoned conclusion” . The reason is that you haven’t expressed your opinion and also haven’t outlined your main ideas. Consequently, you will lose marks.

4. Writing Introduction for Problem/Causes and Solution type essay: Question: In some parts of the world, the rate of divorce has increased dramatically over the past few decades.

Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions.

Paraphrase: Divorce, in many countries, has reached epic proportions over the few decades.

Answer to the Question: a) Plan: b) Problem & Solution: Problem – Domestic violence and gender inequality. Solution – mutual understanding and conjugal appreciation.

c) Opinion and Outline of main points: This essay will expound on how domestic violence and gender inequality are the main reason for increasing separation rates in many parts of the world, followed by a discussion on how mutual understanding and conjugal appreciation are the most effective remedy for this issue.

Divorce, in many countries, has reached epic proportions over the few decades. This essay will expound on how domestic violence and gender inequality are the main reason for increasing separation rates in many parts of the world, followed by a discussion on how mutual understanding and conjugal appreciation are the most effective remedy for this issue. (56 words)

5. Writing Introduction for Double Question/Mixed Essay type: Question: Fossil fuels are essential for producing electricity, powering industry and fueling transportation. However, one day we will reach a point when all the world’s fossil fuels have been depleted.

How can we conserve these resources? What are some alternatives to fossil fuels?

Paraphrase: Energy production is heavily dependent on oil, coal and natural gas but there will come a time in human history when these resources will be exhausted.

Answer to the Question: a) Plan: b) Conservation and Alternatives: Conservation – choosing zero-carbon transportation, and reusing and recycling products. Alternative source – renewable energies: solar, wind and tide power.

c) Opinion and Outline of main points: This essay will argue that we can preserve non-renewable energy sources by choosing zero-carbon transportation, and solar, wind and tide energy are viable alternatives to natural resources.

Energy production is heavily dependent on oil, coal and natural gas but there will come a time in human history when these resources will be exhausted. This essay will argue that we can preserve non-renewable energy sources by choosing zero-carbon transportation, and solar, wind and tide energy are viable alternatives to natural resources. (53 words)

Step 4 – Write The Main Body Paragraphs:

Main body paragraphs/ supporting paragraphs contain the main discussion of your essay. In other words, these paragraphs exist to help prove your position by employing real and factual – or seemingly real and factual- information. Therefore, this is where you can gain or lose most of your marks.

Many candidates, however, make some common mistakes in the exam. Knowing these you can avoid making them further. The common mistakes are:

  • Having lots of ideas.
  • Having undeveloped ideas.
  • Having no/poor explanations or examples.

You need to write around 250-300 words. If you conceive too many ideas, you won’t have enough time to develop the ideas fully. Consequently, you will lose marks. So, don’t make the same mistakes as others do.

Structure of a Good Main Body Paragraph

The structure of a good main body paragraph contains three key elements. They are:

  • Topic sentence
  • Explanation sentences

Please note that although this is a standard model, the structure can change according to the question types.

Topic sentence: It plays a pivotal role in main body paragraphs. In simple words, the topic sentence introduces the key idea, acting as a signpost pointing to what the examiner is going to read.

Explanation sentence: The idea topic sentence states should be explained clearly. Put simply, you have to clearly explain what your topic sentence means. In fact, you answer the question through explanation sentences. The explanation should be 2-4 sentences.

Useful language for explanation: In other words…… That is to say…….. This is because…… The reason is…….. As a result…………. Therefore……………

Example: examples are also crucial for an essay. You need to support your explanation with good and relevant examples. Examples prove highly useful when they are tangible facts because it causes persuasion and makes the argument tough to refute. Good examples contain references to personal experience, well-known people, cultural traditions, and historical events. Bad examples are overly general references, personal opinions, and assumptions.

Some people believe that criminals should be allowed to get an education and enhance their skills while they serve their sentences in prison.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Read the following “introduction” paragraph, paying close attention to the outline of the main points:

It is argued by many that convicted criminals should have access to education programmes so that they can develop their skills while serving their sentences in prison. This essay totally agrees with that statement because it reduces crime rates and can positively change incarcerated individuals .

The outline of the main points (in blue ) declares the topics we will use in our supporting paragraphs:

1- prison education can reduce the crime rate 2- it also positively changes incarcerated people

Let’s write the first main body paragraph now. The first sentence states the topic sentence for this paragraph, which needs to be the reflection of what was stated in the introduction paragraph’s outline of the first key point:

“Prison education programs considerably decrease recidivism.”

As you can see that this topic sentence clearly declares the point initially introduced in the introduction paragraph’s outline of the first key point, this builds a clear link between the essay’s introduction and supporting paragraph.

The second, third and fourth sentences are the discussion sentences:

Most prisoners are released from prisons with educational levels and job skills that are extremely low, and that is why they can earn only meagre incomes once freed. Face with the desperate need to make money but the grim reality of odd jobs, many turn back to crime to survive. However, prison education can equip convicted persons with transferable skills that pave the way for the positive transition when they are released. Therefore, it would reduce prison recidivism.

As can be seen, these sentences clarify the topic sentence explaining that prison education helps prison with transferable skills that open up a wide range of career possibilities, this, in turn, refrain them from committing crime again.

The fifth sentence is an example sentence. The example makes the supporting point hard to counter, and this reinforces the argument of the essay and its ability to convince the examiner of the thesis. The example sentence is:

For instance, a study by Monash University found that ex-offenders who receive some vocational training courses cut recidivism to approximately 40 percent.

As you can see that the example directly supports the topic sentence by bringing up factual information. The study is by a renowned university which makes it seems real. It also shows that the prisoners who enrol in prison education programmes are less likely to return to jail.

When grouped, the sentences of the main body paragraph logically unite in a highly persuasive manner:

Prison education programmes considerably decrease recidivism. Most prisoners are released from prisons with educational levels and job skills that are extremely low, and that is why they can earn only meagre incomes once freed. Face with the desperate need to make money but the grim reality of odd jobs, many turn back to crime to survive. However, prison education can equip convicted persons with transferable skills that pave the way for the positive transition when they are released. Therefore, it would reduce prison recidivism. For instance, a study by Monash University found that ex-offenders who receive some vocational training courses cut recidivism to approximately 40 percent. (106 words)

As you can notice that the topic sentence extends upon what was stated in the introduction paragraph’s outline statement, an obvious instance of cohesion at the essay level. Likewise, the argument advances through the discussion and use of a tangible example, and this makes it difficult for the examiner to rebut.

Now look at the second body paragraph and notice how it is written:

Another reason why incarcerated individuals should get an education is that it transforms incarcerated people. In simple words, education in prison changes offenders because it revives humanity, boosts confidence and self-esteem, develops literacy levels, equips them with essential skills and transforms criminals into law-abiding and productive citizens on release. A case in point is Carlos Rosato, who was arrested for armed robbery and sent to prison in New York state for 16 years. He enrolled in an education program of the Bard Prison Initiative, and he earned an Associate degree and a Bachelor degree. Today Carlos Rosato is an engineer and makes $90,000 a year. He is a solid member of his community and is, in fact, a taxpayer. (119 words)

Both the main body paragraphs of the essay are now complete. When joined to the introduction, the composition reads:

It is argued by many that convicted criminals should have access to education programmes so that they can develop their skills while serving their sentences in prison. This essay totally agrees with that statement because it reduces crime rates and can change incarcerated individuals.

Prison education programmes considerably decrease recidivism . Most prisoners are released from prisons with educational levels and job skills that are extremely low, and that is why they can earn only meagre incomes once freed. Face with the desperate need to make money but the grim reality of odd jobs, many turn back to crime to survive. However , prison education can equip convicted persons with transferable skills that pave the way for the positive transition when they are released. Therefore , it would reduce prison recidivism. For instance , a study by Monash University found that ex-offenders who receive some vocational training courses cut recidivism to approximately 40 percent.

Another reason why incarcerated individuals should get an education is that it transforms incarcerated people . In simple words , education in prison changes offenders because it revives humanity, boosts confidence and self-esteem, develops literacy levels, equips them with essential skills and transforms criminals into law-abiding and productive citizens on release. A case in point is Carlos Rosato, who was arrested for armed robbery and sent to prison in New York state for 16 years. He enrolled in an education program of the Bard Prison Initiative, and he earned an Associate degree and a Bachelor degree. Today Carlos Rosato is an engineer and makes $90,000 a year. He is a solid member of his community and is, in fact, a taxpayer.

Please notice the way the sentences and paragraphs use linking devices to connect themselves together and how to build the overarching argument of the essay. Cohesion at the sentence level is underlined . Cohesion at the essay level is highlighted in blue .

Step 5 – Write The Conclusion:

The conclusion paragraph reiterates the writer’s main ideas and closes the essay. It’s far easier than the introduction and main body paragraphs because it contains the information that has already been imparted earlier in the response. Alternatively, you can propose a solution to a problem or issue or offer something that would be widely accepted regarding the topic discussed in your essay.

Let’s start with the common mistakes. Many candidates often make some mistakes. So, you should not:

  • Introduce new ideas.
  • Try to be entertaining.
  • Be too general.
  • Repeat exactly the same thing as in the rest of your essay.
  • Use the wrong cohesive devices.

Many candidates make the mistake of introducing new ideas in their “conclusion”. Bear in mind that this is a big mistake. New ideas shouldn’t be produced in your “conclusion” at all. All you need do is to state the ideas you have already discussed in the previous paragraphs or offer a solution to a problem that would be widely accepted. If you outline any new idea in your conclusion, you’ll get a lower mark because the conclusion is just paraphrasing or summarizing of what you’ve already said, or offering a universally accepted solution – nothing else.

Many candidates also try to finish their essays by being entertaining or interesting. There are no marks for being entertaining or interesting in your conclusion! There are only marks for writing an accurate conclusion! So, don’t try to write an entertaining conclusion.

Being too vague is another error while writing a conclusion. You need to be as specific as possible like the rest of your essay. The more specific you are, the higher the chance you get a higher band score. So, don’t be too general.

Some candidates repeat the same thing as in the rest of the essay. You need to paraphrase; you need to write the same thing but in a different way.

Finally, many people use wrong cohesive devices which ultimately negatively affect their scores. Therefore, don’t use the wrong cohesive devices.

Let’s look at some inappropriate cohesive devices:

All in all – it is a very inappropriate way to begin your conclusion. This is because it’s very informal. You need to be academic as the IELTS essay is academic in nature. You need to be as formal as possible. So, don’t use “all in all”. In sum – it means just summarizing things. In the conclusion paragraph, you are not just summarizing your main ideas but also giving your opinion. So, the phrase ‘in sum/in summation’ is not quite appropriate for that reason.

To sum up – it is the same as ‘in sum’. So, you shouldn’t use it either.

Finally – it’s saying that you’ve got a final point and it would imply that you’ve got a new point. As we said before, you shouldn’t have a new idea in your conclusion. So, don’t use the word ‘finally’.

In a nutshell – like the phrase “all in all”, this is also informal. So, don’t use it.

Now let’s look at the cohesive devices you should use in your conclusion. They are: ✓ To conclusion ✓ In conclusion

These are two simple phrases you can use at the beginning of your “conclusion” paragraph.

Structure of a Good Conclusion Paragraph: The structure of a good conclusion consists of two essential things. They are: a) Summary of main points b) Opinion

Please reread the introduction and main body paragraphs written above prior to preparing for the conclusion paragraph. Once you read it, let’s continue to the techniques and examples of writing the “conclusion” part.

As a recommended structure, the first sentence of the conclusion paragraph should summarize the topics discussed in the main body paragraphs. The topics are:

→ Prison education programs considerably decrease recidivism. → it transforms incarcerated people.

Grouped into a single sentence, these two ideas would read:

In conclusion, education in prison causes considerable recidivism reduction and also changes convicted persons in a positive way.

The second sentence has to rephrase the opinion of the introduction paragraph in a different manner. Here is the original outline sentence:

This essay totally agrees with that statement…

Thus, it is clear that incarcerated men and women should get an education while in prison.

Now the conclusion paragraph is finished. Notice how its sentences connect with one another and with earlier parts of the essay:

In conclusion, education in prison causes considerable recidivism reduction and also changes convicted persons in a positive way. Thus, it is clear that incarcerated men and women should get an education while in prison.

Please note that, if you wish to add one or two lines of suggestion or proposition that is related to the topic and offers something widely accepted, do that at the end of the conclusion.

Example of such a suggestion or proposition –

“It is expected that prison authority would take measures to educate inmates and train them so that they can become responsible members once they complete their prison sentence and get back to normal life.”

Essay Topic:

Essay Answer: I t is argued by many that criminals should have access to education programmes so that they can develop their skills while serving their sentences in prison. This essay totally agrees with that statement because it reduces crime rates and can change incarcerated individuals.

Prison education programmes considerably decrease recidivism. Most prisoners are released from prisons with educational levels and job skills that are extremely low, and that is why they can earn only meagre incomes once freed. Face with the desperate need to make money but the grim reality of odd jobs, many turn back to crime to survive. However, prison education can equip convicted persons with transferable skills that pave the way for the positive transition when they are released. Therefore, it would reduce prison recidivism. For instance, a study by Monash University found that ex-offenders who receive some vocational training courses cut recidivism to approximately 40 percent.

Another reason why incarcerated individuals should get an education is that it transforms incarcerated people. In simple words, education in prison changes offenders because it revives humanity, boosts confidence and self-esteem, develops literacy levels, equips them with essential skills and transforms criminals into law-abiding and productive citizens on release. A case in point is Carlos Rosato, who was arrested for armed robbery and sent to prison in New York state for 16 years. He enrolled in an education program of the Bard Prison Initiative, and he earned an Associate degree and a Bachelor degree. Today Carlos Rosato is an engineer and makes $90,000 a year. He is a solid member of his community and is, in fact, a taxpayer.

(Approximately 300 words)

Learning to write an essay at a band 9 level takes a lot of practice. Use this article to acquire the technique, then do practice as much as possible on all the five types of questions. Best of luck!

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IELTS Exam – Moscow – November 3, 2016 – Veronica

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Writing (3 Nov 2016, Moscow Russia), General module:Part 1: You have a spare room in your flat (apartment) and you want to rent it to a student. Write a letter to the accommodation office of the local college. In this letter: – explain where your apartment is; – describe the room you want to rent; – describe a person you would like to rent the room to. Part 2: Children often eat food that is not good for their health . What is the causes of this unhealthy habits? What should be done to make children stop eating unhealthy food?

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There is one British Council test centre in Russias capital Moscow. The average IELTS score of test takers with Russian as native language is 6.4. In 2017, the average IELTS score of test takers in Russia was 6.69. According to our database, there are 18 universities in Russia that accept the IELTS test. The average IELTS score requirement for organisations accepting IELTS in Russia is 6.

Although it would be easy to dismiss Russia’s accomplishments and just list a number of political leaders who shaped the world politics, the truth is that Russia has given us more than just the cute waltz of “Once upon a December” from Anastasia. From athletes like Anna Kournikova and Maria Sharapova, to composers like Rachmaninoff, Tchaikovsky, or Shostakovich, to great authors like Nabokov, and Dostoyevsky (and all other “-evsky”s, and “-ov”s and “-ova”s), Russia gave us of the most influential people in history. You have to assume that a country that gave us so many celebrities has its universities and teaching system in order, right? Russia has 21 universities in the World University Ranking, so it’s no wonder so many students choose to come and study here. Besides the obvious high quality of teaching, we have to mention the great campuses and facilities: seeing asRussia is the largest country in the world, they can afford to turn a huge plot of land into a campus, adding parks, fountains, museums, and even botanical gardens. Still, you do have to keep in mind that winters in Russia can be rough and the climate can be fickle. But, luckily, Russian kindergartens allow children to run outside in their underwear, and then dump freezing water over them to strengthen their immune system. so, students can brave the weather and bring mittens from home.

To study in English at one of the universities in Russia, you may need a proof of English proficiency. There are several standardised English tests that you can take to proof your English level, such as the PTE (Pearson Test of English), TOEFL (Test of English as a Foreign Language), CAE (Cambridge Advanced English) and IELTS (International English Language Testing System), offered by British Council and IDP. IELTS is the most popular of these tests, with British Council offering more than 500 test locations and being accepted by more than 9,000 organisations world-wide.

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crime ielts essay band 9

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IMAGES

  1. How to write a Band 9 IELTS discuss both views essay

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  2. IELTS Sample Essay Topics 2020 Band 9

    crime ielts essay band 9

  3. IELTS Sample Essay Topics 2020 Band 9

    crime ielts essay band 9

  4. IELTS Cause/Effect Essay Sample 1

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  5. The increase in juvenile crime can be attributed

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  6. IELTS Essay Band 9: Cách Viết Điểm Cao Hấp Dẫn Click!

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  1. Copy Paste Lines On Crime

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  6. IELTS Writing 15 days Marvelous tips to write an IELTS essay–DAY 5

COMMENTS

  1. IELTS Cause Solution Essay Band 9 Model Answer

    IELTS Cause Solution Essay Band 9 Model Answer. The model answer below is for an IELTS cause and solution essay in writing task 2 on the topic of crime and punishment. Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

  2. 35 Sample Band 9 IELTS Essays

    35 Sample Band 9 IELTS Essays. Take a look at these 35 sample Band 9 IELTS essays for writing task 2 of the IELTS exam. Task 2 can cover a wide range of essay topics for the IELTS writing task section of the test, so preparation is key. Use the following samples when preparing your IELTS essays to see how close you are to a band 9!

  3. IELTS Essay Samples of Band 9

    Below are IELTS Band 9 Essay samples, written by a native English speaker and former IELTS examiner. Robert Nicholson is the co-author of 'High Scorer's Choice' IELTS Practice Tests book series, created in collaboration with Simone Braverman, the founder of this website. ... IELTS Model Essays on the Topic of Crime and Punishment. Former ...

  4. Crime and punishment IELTS model essay with vocabulary

    This IELTS essay on crime and punishment explores the advantages and disadvantages of harsh punishment for criminals. Our band nine sample essays give you the opportunity to learn from successful essays that show off the best structure, vocabulary and grammar. This IELTS essay on crime and punishment explores the advantages and disadvantages of ...

  5. IELTS Writing band 9 sample: death penalty

    Surely, there are a lot of ways to organise this essay. But here is one possible way of structuring the answer to produce a band 9 essay: Introduction: rephrase the topic and state your opinion. Body paragraphs: paragraph 1: disadvantages of death penalty. paragraph 2: advantages of death penalty. Conclusion: sum up the ideas from body ...

  6. IELTS Band 9 essay, topic: The majority of former prisoners commit

    Sample Band 9 Essay. It is a sad fact that criminals who leave prison go on to commit further crime. There are various reasons for this, but there are also some things that can be done to prevent it from happening.

  7. IELTS Writing Task 2 Topic: Young people who commit serious crimes

    IELTS Writing Actual Test & Band 9.0 Argumentative Essay - Topic: Juvenile Criminal Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same as as adults who commit crimes.

  8. Band 9 Essay Sample About Growing Crime Rates And ...

    Band 9 Essay Sample. Over the years there has been a dramatic increase in the number of serious crimes being committed. While some people are of the opinion that capital punishment is the best way to tackle this problem, others disagree. In other opinion, other measures are required to reduce the crime rates. This essay will discuss both sides ...

  9. IELTS Writing Task 2: Band 9 Sample Essay

    IELTS Band 9 sample essay. Band 9 Sample answers are useful as study guides for IELTS preparation for the IELTS Writing Task 2 essay - especially for a band 9 IELTS essay. Having access to previously completed work that you can have confidence in will show you what you are missing! Take a look at these sample task 2 essay questions to help ...

  10. Crime and Punishment [IELTS Topics]

    Crime and Punishment IELTS Essay. Here is a quite representative task 2 essay question: Some people think that offenders should be put in prison. Others, however, believe that providing offenders with education and training is more effective than putting them in prison. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Sample Band 9 Answer

  11. 50 Latest Crime IELTS Topics

    WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

  12. Sample Essay on Rising Crime Rates

    Before you start any IELTS essay, you should spend a moment thinking about the question. This is important because sometimes they can be trickier than they initially appear. ... You will see a lot of articles about crime there. Sample Band 9 Answer. In some parts of the world, crime rates are increasing and the types of crime are becoming more ...

  13. Band 9 essay sample

    Band 9 essay sample. Reducing the crime rate is crucial to ensuring the safety and security of people living in a particular society. While some people are in favour of building more prisons and increasing the number of policemen, others feel that achieving economic welfare is the key to tackling crime. In my opinion, all of these measures are ...

  14. Band 9 IELTS Essays

    Band 9 IELTS Essays. Here at ielts-practice.org we have a huge collection of band 9 IELTS essay samples. Click on the links below to read our band 9 essay samples. IELTS essay topics tend to repeat. It is, therefore, imperative that you practice writing essays on topics asked in recent IELTS exams. We are adding more essays to this page, so ...

  15. Some People Say That Crime Rate Nowadays Is ...

    Band 9 IELTS essay sample According to some people, technology is used as a means of committing crime while others insist that the crime rates will dwindle as technology advances. Although I do admit that technology can aid crime to an extent, in my opinion, it eventually helps to lower / reduce the crime rates.

  16. IELTS Band 9 Essays

    An IELTS Band 9 Essay is one that shows the examiner that you are an expert user of English. The official IELTS scale describes an expert user in the following way: "The test taker has fully operational command of the language. Their use of English is appropriate, accurate and fluent, and shows complete understanding.".

  17. IELTS Essays About Crime

    Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to hand out longer prison sentences, whilst other people think that there are better methods of doing reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Many criminals after being released go on to commit further crimes as soon as they are ...

  18. How to write an IELTS Essay at band 9 level

    Step 2 - Plan The Structure: Candidates who get a higher mark in IELTS writing task 2 always plan their arguments and ideas. A good plan helps them organise their ideas, and then structure their essay before they write it, saving their time and helping them to write a well-structured, coherent essay.

  19. IELTS Exam

    Type of IELTS test - Academic or General; Date of IELTS test; Location of IELTS test; Good luck to everyone preparing for the IELTS test. For unlimited feedback with detailed corrections for speaking and writing tasks, sign up for IELTS Twenty20 Online Course today! Study 20 minutes a day for 20 days and Ace the IELTS exam. Tags:

  20. IELTS Exam

    Date of IELTS test; Location of IELTS test; Good luck to everyone preparing for the IELTS test. For unlimited feedback with detailed corrections for speaking and writing tasks, sign up for IELTS Twenty20 Online Course today! Study 20 minutes a day for 20 days and Ace the IELTS exam. Tags: Recent IELTS questions Recent test questions

  21. IELTS test structure

    Writing. 2 tasks (describe graph + essay) 60 minutes. Speaking. 3 dialogues. ~15 minutes. IELTS consists of four parts: Listening, Reading, Writing и Speaking. Listening and Speaking are the same in both general training and academic versions of the exam. Academic module more complex assignments in IELTS Reading and Writing section.

  22. Take an IELTS test in Russia

    The average IELTS score of test takers with Russian as native language is 6.4. In 2017, the average IELTS score of test takers in Russia was 6.69. ... I do remember this examination for its impressive results, as I got a 7.5/9. ... I liked that test, because you can handle the topics of the two essays there as you wish. Dominika Benesova, 23