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Essays About Divorce: Top 5 Examples and 7 Prompts

Essays about divorce can be challenging to write; read on to see our top essay examples and writing prompts to help you get started.

Divorce is the legal termination of a marriage. It can be a messy affair, especially if it includes children. Dividing the couple’s assets also often causes chaos when divorce proceedings are in session. 

Divorce also touches and considers religion and tradition. Therefore, laws are formed depending on the country’s history, culture, and belief system.

To help you choose what you want to talk about regarding this topic, here are examples you can read to get an idea of what kind of essay you want to write.

1. Divorce Should Be Legalized in the Philippines by Ernestine Montgomery

2. to divorce or not to divorce by mark ghantous, 3. what if you mess up by manis friedman, 4. divorce: a life-changing experience by writer louie, 5. divorce’s effects on early adult relationships by percy massey, 1. the major reasons for divorce, 2. why i support divorce, 3. my divorce experience, 4. how to avoid divorce, 5. divorce and its effects on my family, 6. the consequences of divorce, 7. divorce laws around the world.

“What we need is a divorce law that defines clearly and unequivocally the grounds and terms for terminating a marriage… Divorce is a choice and we all should have the freedom to make choices… in cases where a union is more harmful than beneficial, a divorce can be benevolent and less hurtful way of severing ties with your partner.”

As the title suggests, Montgomery and his other colleagues discuss why the Philippines, a predominantly Catholic country, needs to allow divorce. Then, to strengthen his argument, he mentions that Spain, the root of Christianity, and Italy, where the Vatican City is, administer divorce. 

He also mentions bills, relevant figures, and statistics to make his case in favor of divorce more compelling. Montgomery adds that people who want a divorce don’t necessarily mean they want to marry again, citing other motives such as abuse and marital failure.

“Divorce, being the final step in a detrimental marriage, brings upon the gruesome decision as to whether a married couple wishes to end that once made commitment they had for each other. As opposed to the present, divorce was rare in ancient times…”

Ghantous starts his essay with what divorce means, as not only an end of a commitment but also the termination of legal duties and other obligations of the couple to each other. He then talks about divorce in ancient times, when men had superior control over women and their children. He also mentions Caroline Norton, who fought with English family law that was clearly against women.

“So even though G‑d has rules,… laws,… divine commandments, when you sin, He tells you: ‘You messed up? Try again.’ That’s exactly how you should be married — by treating your spouse the way G‑d treats you. With that much mercy and compassion, that much kindness and consideration.”

Friedman’s essay discusses how the Torah sees marriage and divorce and explains it by recounting a scene with his daughters where they couldn’t follow a recipe. He includes good treatment and forgiveness necessary in spouses. But he also explains that God understands and doesn’t want people in a failed marriage to continue hurting. You might also be interested in these essays about commitment .

“Depending on the reasons that led up to the divorce the effects can vary… I was fourteen years old and the one child that suffered the most emotional damage… My parents did not discuss their reasons for the divorce with me, they didn’t have to, and I knew the reasons.”

The author starts the essay by citing the famous marital promise: “For better or worse, for richer or poorer,” before going in-depth regarding the divorce rate among Americans. He further expounds on how common divorce is, including its legalities. Although divorce has established legal grounds, it doesn’t consider the emotional trauma it will cause, especially for children.

Louie recounts how his life changed when his dad moved out, listing why his parents divorced. He ends the essay by saying society is at fault for commercializing divorce as if it’s the only option.

“With divorce becoming more prevalent, many researchers have taken it upon themselves to explore many aspects of this topic such as evolving attitudes, what causes divorce, and how it effects the outcome of children’s lives.”

Massey examines the causes of divorce and how it impacts children’s well-being by citing many relevant research studies. Some of the things he mentions are the connection between the child’s mental health, behavioral issues, and future relationships. Another is the trauma a child can endure during the divorce proceedings.

He also mentions that some children who had a broken family put marriage on a pedestal. As a result, they do their best to create a better future family and treat their children better.

Top 7 Prompts on Essays About Divorce

After adding to your knowledge about the subject, you’re better prepared to write essays about divorce.

There are many causes of the dissolution of marriage, and many essays have already discussed these reasons. However, you can explain these reasons differently. For example, you can focus on domestic abuse, constant fighting, infidelity, financial issues, etc.

If you want to make your piece stand out, you can include your personal experience, but only if you’re comfortable sharing your story with others. 

If you believe divorce offers a better life for all parties involved, list these benefits and explain them. Then, you can focus on a specific pro of legalizing divorce, such as getting out of an abusive relationship. 

If you want to write an essay to argue against the negative effects of divorce, here’s an excellent guide on how to write an argumentative essay .

This prompt is not only for anyone who has no or sole guardian. If you want to write about the experiences of a child raised by other people or who lives with a single parent, you can interview a friend or anyone willing to talk about their struggles and triumphs even if they didn’t have a set of parents.

Aside from reasons for divorce, you can talk about what makes these reasons more probable. Then, analyze what steps couples can take to avoid it. Such as taking couples’ therapy, weekly family get-together, etc. To make your essay more valuable, weigh in on what makes these tips effective.

Essays About Divorce: Divorce and its effects on my family

Divorce is diverse and has varying effects. There are many elements to its results, and no two sets of factors are precisely the same for two families. 

If you have an intimate experience of how your immediate and extended family dynamic had been affected by divorce, narrate those affairs. Include what it made you and the others around you feel. You might also be interested in these essays about conflict .

This is a broad prompt, but you can narrow it down by focusing on an experience you or a close friend had. You can also interview someone closely related to a divorce case, such as a lawyer, reporter, or researcher. 

If you don’t have any experience with divorce, do not know anyone who had to go through it, or is more interested in its legal aspects, compiles different divorce laws for each country. You can even add a brief history for each law to make the readers understand how they came about.

Are you looking for other topics to write on? Check out our general resource of essay writing topics .

divorce reasons essay

Maria Caballero is a freelance writer who has been writing since high school. She believes that to be a writer doesn't only refer to excellent syntax and semantics but also knowing how to weave words together to communicate to any reader effectively.

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Essay Samples on Divorce

Divorce is a complex and deeply personal process that involves the legal dissolution of a marriage. It marks the end of a once-promising union and triggers a range of emotions, from sadness and anger to relief and newfound independence. Understanding the intricacies of divorce and its effects is crucial when writing college essays about divorce.

How to Write College Essays About Divorce

When exploring the subject of divorce, it is important to delve into the factors that contribute to its occurrence and look at college essays about divorce examples. These can include communication issues, incompatibility, domestic abuse, financial strain, or even external factors such as societal expectations or cultural norms. Discussing these causes helps paint a comprehensive picture of the complexities surrounding divorce.

To provide a well-rounded perspective for an example of college essay about divorce, consider including statistics or research findings related to divorce rates, average durations of marriages, or common age groups affected by divorce. This data can help support your arguments and provide a factual foundation for your essay.

Additionally, it is crucial to examine the legal aspects of divorce. Different jurisdictions have specific laws and regulations governing the process, including property division, alimony, child custody, and visitation rights. Incorporating information about these legal frameworks can add depth to your essay and showcase a comprehensive understanding of divorce proceedings.

While divorce can be emotionally challenging, it also offers opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery. Discuss the psychological and emotional impacts divorce can have on individuals, as well as strategies for coping and rebuilding one’s life after the end of a marriage.

Lastly, explore the societal implications of divorce. Analyze how divorce impacts the perception of marriage, family structures, and gender roles. Consider the evolving attitudes towards divorce in different cultures and how society supports or stigmatizes individuals going through this process in the divorce essay example.

Cause and Effect of Broken Family: Exploring the Impact on Individuals and Society

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Growing Up with Divorced Parents: Discussing the Topic of Divorce With Your Children

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Growing Up With Divorced Parents: The Impact of Divorce on the Children

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The Effects Of Divorce On Children

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The Effects Of Divorce On Children In America

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The Effects Of Divorce On Children And Young Adolescents

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The Causes Of Divorce That Lead To The Annulment

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The Causes Of Divorce And The Ruined Marriages

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The Causes Of Divorce: The Reason Marriage Fails

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The Causes And Effects Of Divorce

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Main Reasons For Divorce In The United States And How It Impacts Family

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My Personal Opinion On Why Divorce Shouldn't Be Legalized

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Common Social Problems Encountered In Family Life And How They Affect The Marriage

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Divorce Process And Finances In Hennepin County

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Best topics on Divorce

1. Cause and Effect of Broken Family: Exploring the Impact on Individuals and Society

2. Growing Up with Divorced Parents: Discussing the Topic of Divorce With Your Children

3. Growing Up With Divorced Parents: The Impact of Divorce on the Children

4. The Effects Of Divorce On Children

5. The Effects Of Divorce On Children In America

6. The Effects Of Divorce On Children And Young Adolescents

7. The Causes Of Divorce That Lead To The Annulment

8. The Causes Of Divorce And The Ruined Marriages

9. The Causes Of Divorce: The Reason Marriage Fails

10. The Causes And Effects Of Divorce

11. Main Reasons For Divorce In The United States And How It Impacts Family

12. My Personal Opinion On Why Divorce Shouldn’t Be Legalized

13. Common Social Problems Encountered In Family Life And How They Affect The Marriage

14. Divorce Rates In Kenya And Means To Reduce Them

15. Divorce Process And Finances In Hennepin County

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Persuasive & Argumentative Essays about Divorce: Free Tips

A divorce is a life-changing experience that affects spouses and their children (if there are any). Since divorce rates are relatively high in modern society, more and more people face this problem nowadays.

Our specialists will write a custom essay specially for you!

When you are assigned to compose an argumentative essay about divorce, you should be as careful as possible. Remember that the split-up of marriage can be a painful experience for everyone involved.

The article will give you useful advice on how to write an outstanding paper on the topic. Learn the essential features of the following types:

  • persuasive essay about divorce,
  • for and against essay,
  • causes and effects of divorce essay,

Check tips from Custom-writing.org below and write the best paper!

  • 💍 How to Write It
  • 📂 Essays by Type
  • ✒ Causes and Effects

✍️ Divorce Essay Topics

💍 how to write a divorce essay.

The general structure of essays on divorce is quite common:

  • introduction;
  • conclusion.

Yet, there are some variations of what info to include in the body, depending on the essay type. The following structure is applicable for divorce argumentative essay. To learn about the features of other types, keep on reading our article.

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Argumentative divorce essays are composed according to the standard structure:

1. Thesis Statement about Divorce

A divorce essay introduction isn’t anything extraordinary as you have to introduce your topic and position.

  • You should always give broad information about the issue and state the main problems you will discuss in your writing.
  • Make a general statement about the consequences of divorce or the common divorce effects on people.
  • Then write your thesis statement on divorce. Clearly explain to the audience the topic you’re going to discuss and your position on that topic. In case you find this task difficult, try using a thesis generator for argumentative essay . This will save you some time.

That’s it! Now your divorce essay introduction is ready.

What’s next?

2. Main Body

This section presents all of your ideas and arguments related to the topic of divorce.

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  • Here you can write about the adverse effects of divorce on children or the most common reasons people divorce.
  • Use compelling arguments and support your ideas with examples.

There are tons of surveys and statistics about divorce on the internet, so it won’t be too challenging to gather the information you need.

3. Conclusion

In the last paragraph, you have to sum up your paper and leave a final expression.

  • Summarize every idea presented in your divorce essay.
  • Restate your thesis statement on divorce, relying on your reasoning.
  • Then list your concluding thoughts on this topic.

Make your sentences clear and easy to follow. Use synonyms to improve your writing style. Such an approach will help you convince the readers and express your thoughts better.

📂 Divorce Essays by Type

The content and reasoning of each paper on divorce depend primarily on the type of essay . See the following sections to understand how to write each of them.

Here are a few types you can consider:

Get an originally-written paper according to your instructions!

Argumentative Essay about Divorce

When it comes to divorce, there are many disputable topics—for example, the reasons people separate or its impact on children. It’s easy to find support and statistics for both issues. And you’ll need them as facts are a crucial part of a divorce argumentative essay.

As a starting point:

Research your idea and choose a side to support. Make sure that among all argumentative essay topics about divorce, you selected the most interesting for yourself. In your thesis statement, concisely express your position, so the reader can quickly get it.

Then, start writing the entire essay. Regardless of what type of paper you are writing—anti or pro divorce argumentative essay—your writing should meet these requirements:

  • Base your points on logic;
  • Present both sides of the arguments, but support only one;
  • Take into consideration counterclaims;
  • Support all the arguments by valid evidence;
  • Use a calm, informative tone.

Don’t forget to incorporate quotes and figures to convince your readers.

Persuasive Essay about Divorce

What is the goal of writing persuasive essays ? It’s to convince your reader that your position on a particular problem is true.

Therefore, writing this paper means that you should identify an individual problem related to the topic. In the introduction of your persuasive essay about divorce, you should choose your side and deliver it to the reader.

Crucial note:

Similarly to an argumentative essay, you have to provide credible facts to support your position. Yet here, you use them to back up your opinion and persuade your reader.

While composing your persuasive essay about the legalization of divorce, remember its distinctive features:

  • Based on emotions;
  • Presents only one side of the argument;
  • Ignores counterclaims;
  • The tone is dynamic, emotionally-charged, and aggressive to some extent.

Cause and Effect Essay on Divorce

Whether it concerns old parents or a young couple, divorce typically has the same causes and effects. You can often see them clearly, even in books or movies.

The essay outline for the causes and effects of divorce essay is quite common:

  • Introduction.

In your divorce essay introduction, provide a general background and compose a clear thesis statement. For example, your thesis might look like this:

A divorce, caused by the spouses’ expectations mismatch, results in a lack of communication between children and one of the parents.

In this part of your essay, investigate the cause and effect of divorce, you stated before.

For the given thesis, the main points would be the following:

The primary cause of divorce is the mismatch in the spouses’ expectations from the marriage.

The divorce often results in a lack of children’s interactions with one of the parents.

  • Conclusion.

Synthesize all of your arguments and give your audience a space for a further investigation of your issue.

Narrative Essay about Divorce

If your assignment is to write a family essay, you can choose from a wide range of topics. For this purpose, a marriage essay or a divorce essay would be perfect.

In a short paper about your family, it isn’t easy to cover many topics. So choose only one.

Look through some narrative essay topics and select the one you like:

  • The story of my divorce: how did I decide to break up with my spouse?
  • My life completely changed after my parents divorced.
  • How my life looked like before the divorce with my wife/husband and how it looks now.
  • The way divorce destroys healthy communication between children and parents in my family.

For and Against Divorce Essay

As you know, both the negative and positive effects of divorce are disputable, making them appealing to discuss. There are many recent studies and relevant statistical data on the topic to help you write such an essay.

This topic would also be great for a speech on divorce.

Wondering what are the for and against divorce arguments? Take a look at the following:

✒ Divorce: Causes and Effects

We have a pleasant bonus for you! Below, you can find useful arguments and insightful ideas that you can use in your papers on divorce. Apply our concepts in any type of essay, adjusting them to your topic.

Divorce essays can cover the following issues:

Generally Known Facts on Divorces

When covering this issue in your persuasive essay on divorce, you will have to cover the problem altogether. Include the common marriage problems that psychologists all over the world study. Use their statistical data on divorces when crafting your argument.

Divorce is quite a broad topic, and you may want to narrow it down. With so much information available, you could write a research paper on divorce without any difficulty.

Statistical Data on Divorces

Good divorce essays should include enough statistical data. It will add more scientific value and reveal your research abilities. Besides, facts and figures present many exciting topics to comment on.

For example:

You can do significant research concerning divorce causes and consequences. Draw a contrast between divorce in several countries, or examine the age and education of people who officially separate more often.

Reasons for Divorces

What does an essay on divorce mean without discussion of its reasons?

Find out different sociologists’ viewpoints on the reasons for divorces. Then underline the cause you consider to be the most truthful one.

You can also provide your own theory on the grounds for divorces in your persuasive essay on divorce. The key point is to prove the accuracy of your statement.

Divorce Prevention Ideas

If there is a problem, there must be some solution. So, think of the possible ways to make a marriage work.

Investigate divorce causes from a scientific point of view. Examine the primary studies that reveal why people actually break up. Also, discuss the precautions that can help married couples avoid significant conflicts.

Effects of Divorce on Children

Parents sometimes forget that their divorce isn’t only about them but also about their children. It causes psychological problems for kids, which you can classify in your paper. Don’t forget to add some statistical data on divorce to support your arguments.

Every child reacts differently to their parents’ breakup. It’s a rare case when divorce consequences are positive, making the effects on kids an urgent topic to discuss.

Positive Effects of Divorce

Sometimes divorce isn’t a catastrophe but rather the only way to heal wounds and begin a new life. Often, people don’t recognize that they need to change their lives for the better. This situation is primarily related to abusive marriages or those with regular cheating.

In these cases, the positive effects of divorce may seem easy to understand. However, psychologists have to make great efforts to persuade people to end their relationships. Write a paper making this same argument.

  • Negative outcomes of divorce on children .  
  • Connection between divorce and antisocial behavior of children.  
  • Family crises and the issue it causes: divorce, remarriage, stepparents, adoption. 
  • Effect of divorce on teenagers ’ academic performance.  
  • Causes and consequences of divorce . 
  • What can be done to decrease divorce rates in America ?  
  • Does parental divorce affect the rates of juvenile delinquency ? 
  • The most widespread reasons for divorce .  
  • Analyze marital success factors and Gottman’s predictors of divorce.  
  • Impact of divorce on child’s mental health .  
  • Change of divorce law throughout history.  
  • Positive and negative changes in children’s behavior after divorce.  
  • Divorce : a disaster or a benefit?  
  • Is cheating one of the main reasons of divorce?  
  • Gender stratification impact on divorce trends.  
  • Effect of divorce on family relationship .  
  • Do divorced parents change their child-rearing styles ?  
  • List of factors typically associated with higher divorce rates .  
  • The support required for all the members of divorced and single-parent families . 
  • Analyze the reasons for high divorce rates . 
  • Does divorce only impact adolescent in a bad way?  
  • Effect of poverty on divorce rates.  
  • Specifics of divorce in the UAE . 
  • Does divorce lead to depression ?  
  • Family therapy and its role in decreasing divorce rates.  
  • The impact of divorce on children-parents relationship.  
  • Evaluation of child custody in divorce proceedings.  
  • How to manage the stress of divorce.   
  • Effect of divorce on children’s self-esteem.  
  • How to minimize the devastating consequences of divorce .  
  • Addiction as the reason for divorce.  
  • Effective communication in marriage and its role in preventing divorce.  
  • Divorce as the only way out of an abusive relationship .  
  • Financial issues of divorce and how to overcome them.  
  • Parental support is the best way to help children to go through divorce .  
  • How do adolescents adjust to parental divorce?  
  • Do boys and girls react to the parental divorce the same way?  
  • Social media can destroy relationship and lead to divorce. 
  • Can Christian counseling help couples to resolve their issues and avoid divorce?  
  • Poverty among divorced women.  
  • Young marriage has more chances to break-up.  
  • Respect is the best way to get marriage satisfaction and avoid divorce.  
  • Is interfaith marriage doomed to divorce? 
  • Why a successful marriage may end in divorce?  
  • Marriage contract will help to facilitate the legal side of divorce process.  
  • Reduction of the number of divorces . 
  • Personal development after divorce.  
  • How family relationships influence future marriage and divorce chances of children. 
  •   Child support in case of marriage divorce.  
  • Will lack of family and work balance definitely result in divorce?  

If you are stuck on writing, you can always ask us for help! Whether you need a persuasive essay on divorce or any other paper, we are here and ready to assist.

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Further reading:

  • Top Ideas for Argumentative or Persuasive Essay Topics
  • Best Argumentative Research Paper Topics
  • 197 Inspirational & Motivational Argumentative Essay Topics
  • Gun Control Essay: How-to Guide + Argumentative Topics
  • Proposal Essay Topics and Ideas – Easy and Interesting
  • Free Exemplification Essay Examples

🔗 References

  • Essay Introductions
  • Transitional Words and Phrases
  • Argumentative Paper Format
  • The Writing Process
  • Divorce Argument Essay: Bartleby
  • Cause and Effect Essay: The Online Writing Lab (OWL) at Roane State Community College and UNC at Chapel Hill Writing Center
  • Counterargument: Gordon Harvey, the Writing Center at Harvard University
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Divorce is having a moment. And I wish it had happened 10 years ago

I thought I needed some catastrophic reason to get divorced, and so I felt isolated and embarrassed — now, I see that my own happiness was reason enough.

The word divorce seems to be everywhere lately. And while people have different reasons for ending their marriages, one motivation that’s dominating the cultural discussion right now is the exact reason I ended my own marriage over a decade ago: Women want to find happiness.

Last month, not one but two divorce memoirs hit bookshelves: Lyz Lenz’s “This American Ex-Wife” and Leslie Jamison’s “Splinters.” A week later, both books were so popular they landed on the New York Times Best Seller list.

As I read through social media comments and scroll through Goodreads reviews, I’m excited about the conversations women are having about reevaluating their relationships on their quests to live happier lives. I just wish these conversations had been happening 10 years ago, when I got divorced .

The shame and stigma that has clouded divorce used to keep the conversation behind closed doors. But when people started openly discussing their divorces, it paved the way for more people to write and talk about their experiences, explains Olivia Dreizen Howell, a certified life coach, divorce expert and the CEO/co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry , which helps people create gift registries for big life changes that aren’t weddings — like divorces.

“I truly think we cannot discuss the cultural shift in the way divorce is discussed without talking about the rise of social media, especially blogging and TikTok,” Dreizen Howell tells TODAY.com. “And right now is a hot moment in time for divorce, as we’re witnessing the intersection of women’s rights under attack, divorce becoming a very viable and not shameful option for women and families, and the platform of the internet.”

Sophie Cress, a licensed marriage and family therapist, agrees that the discussion surrounding divorce has changed over the last decade and is “now characterized by self-empowerment, self-discovery and a renewed sense of control.”

“A significant transformation in the conversation around divorce has been facilitated by social media and digital connectivity,” Cress tells TODAY.com. “The discussion around divorce used to be restricted and uncoordinated a decade ago. Today, however, platforms like Instagram, TikTok and Facebook have emerged as powerful agents of change, amplifying diverse perspectives and experiences.”

I got divorced in 2013 after a 13-year marriage to a man in the military. I was 37 years old, and as I found myself transitioning from life as a married woman in a big house with a fenced-in backyard to being a single mother with two young children in a small apartment, all I wanted was to not feel alone.

The physical aloneness didn’t bother me as much as the emotional. After all, as a military spouse I was physically alone for a large portion of my marriage. But even though I wanted the divorce, the roller coaster of emotions I experienced was jarring and lonely. At any given moment I was angry, then scared, then sad, then resentful, then looping back to angry. I only had one divorced friend and therefore no real way of comparing notes with other women to check if this was normal, if this was healthy, if this would pass.

And then there was the guilt. The guilt that I had blown up my life, my kids’ lives, to selfishly pursue personal happiness. The guilt that I changed back to my maiden name, triggered by that one divorced friend who told me in a judgmental tone that she would never do that to her kids because they had enough changes to deal with. (Spoiler: My kids, now 16 and 20, couldn’t care less that their last name isn’t the same as mine.)

On top of that, I had to answer all the questions from my married friends, most of whom seemed shocked by my divorce, including the question I most dreaded: “What happened?” 

While I stood by my standard answer, “We drifted apart,” I think people expected to hear a dramatic timeline that ended with me as the victim of some horrible marital transgression. And even though it wasn’t really anyone else’s business, I made sure to anticipate the typical follow-up question and say that yes, we had tried counseling. Three separate attempts, in fact. I didn’t want people to think I had just given up. Back then, it didn’t occur to me to tell people the truth: I wasn’t happy, and I wanted more out of life than my marriage was giving me.

I think people expected to hear some horrible marital transgression. ... It didn’t occur to me to tell the truth: I wasn’t happy, and I wanted more out of life than my marriage was giving me.

“The institution of marriage is so ingrained in our culture as the reason for our existence,” Dreizen Howell says. “Especially when we’re referring to heterosexual marriage, many people believe that the end result of life is to be married, even if that means you engage in a decades-long miserable marriage. However, there is no award at the end of a long and unhappy marriage.”

Dreizen Howell also thinks that younger generations of women are seeking therapy and mental health support and realize that they are worthy of a life of joy. “The cultural narrative about divorce is shifting to a more balanced and positive perspective — divorce is simply a life transition, and nothing you should be ashamed about — and this conversation has shifted in large part to the women writers telling their stories,” she adds.

The more I talked and wrote about my divorce, the more I realized I didn’t want to sugarcoat my reason for ending my marriage. Nothing catastrophic needed to happen. Being unhappy with a partner and the life you created together is a good enough reason to leave and start a new one. 

“When we talk about the beginning of the end of a marriage, there is rarely just one moment that breaks everything apart.” Lyz Lenz, author of “This American Ex-Wife”, wrote in The Washington Post . “There are often several stressors, some small, some large, all building to the day that everything shatters.”

For me, it was a cumulative effect of years of feeling like being married was simply too much work for too little reward, that I wasn’t married to the man I thought I married, that I was exhausted and tired of feeling unappreciated, unseen and unloved the way I wanted to be loved. 

It took me a long time to realize it was OK to verbalize these sentiments. And not only was it OK, but once I did verbalize these very valid reasons for divorce, I would discover other women who felt the same exact way.

“There is a growing trend of women initiating divorces because they refuse to settle for unhappiness,” Cress says. “Traditionally, women have been taught to prioritize the needs of their families over their own, but there is a shift happening. Women are increasingly asserting their right to pursue fulfillment and happiness in all aspects of their lives, including their marriages.”

As Cress notes, women have become pioneers in this discussion over the last decade. 

“They are taking back control of their lives and changing the way they tell their stories, proving that divorce can be a trigger for self-improvement, confidence and ultimately, happiness,” Cress says.

Now a decade after I walked out of a courtroom a single woman with a last name I hadn’t used since before my wedding day, I can say with certainty that any hardship I stumbled upon on my path to post-divorce happiness was well worth it. As Lenz writes so wisely in her memoir, words I wish I could have read when I decided I was unwilling to waste another year in a miserable marriage, divorce “requires learning to reimagine happiness beyond what everyone told you it should look like.” And that’s exactly what I did.

So I say, bring on this cultural moment. Let’s keep this divorce conversation going. Let’s keep finding our happiness.

Heather Sweeney’s work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, HuffPost, Newsweek, Business Insider and Healthline, among others. She is currently writing a memoir about her path to self-discovery after divorce. You can learn more about her at https://www.heatherlsweeney.com .

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Causes Of Divorce: 19 Of The Most Common Reasons

About Brette Sember, JD | Divorce.com

By Brette Sember, JD Updated Mar 15, 2024

What are the most common reasons for divorce? Of course, this is a subjective question, as the reasons people get divorced are as varied as the reasons they fall in love.

However, certain issues arise more often: conflict, infidelity, poor communication, incompatibility, and a lack of romantic intimacy. Even though the overall divorce rate is decreasing among adults aged 16 to 65, approximately 45% of marriages in the US still end in divorce.

Read on to learn about the 19 most common reasons people decide to divorce.

What Are The Most Common Causes of Divorce?

According to various studies, the four most common causes of divorce are lack of commitment, infidelity or extramarital affairs, too much conflict and arguing, and lack of physical intimacy. The least common reasons are lack of shared interests and incompatibility between partners.

The 19 Most Common Reasons for Divorce

1. too much conflict, incessant arguing.

Constant conflict, bitter battles, and going to bed angry every night are no one’s idea of a healthy marriage.

"How you handle conflict is the single most important predictor of whether your marriage will survive."

How long could you stick it out when your home – which is supposed to be your place of peace and release from the daily grind – is more stressful than your worst day at work? In a good marriage, your spouse is your partner, your shelter from the storm, and your number-one cheerleader when you’re down.

In a high-conflict marriage, your spouse is as emotionally dangerous as a terrible boss. Unless interrupted by marriage counseling or therapy, this negative spiral will continue downward until the only place left to go is divorce.

Related Reading

2. Lack of Commitment

A happy and healthy marriage requires commitment from both spouses. Unfortunately, it only takes one spouse with a lack of commitment to the relationship to doom the marriage. If one partner isn’t fully committed to the other, then the marriage will eventually suffer.

Sometimes, the spouse who is still committed to the relationship believes they can singlehandedly save their marriage if they work harder at it. After all, if they put in 200% while their spouse puts in 0%, that equals 100% – right?

When their marriage inevitably ends, after the shock and disbelief have worn off, their rage at being used and taken for granted during the relationship may lead to a very difficult divorce.

angry woman arguing

3. Infidelity / Extramarital Affairs

Being cheated on by the person who vowed to remain faithful to you forever is a bitter pill to swallow, and most people consider this to be an unforgivable offense. Infidelity doesn’t always lead to divorce, but it does destroy how you see your relationship.

Discovering that your spouse has been engaging in an extramarital affair makes you ask three questions:

  • Can my marriage survive this betrayal?
  • Can I ever trust my spouse/partner again?
  • Am I willing to work on my marriage, or is my partner’s infidelity the last straw?

The answer to these questions depends on whether both of you are willing and able to repair your relationship – almost certainly with the help of a marriage and family therapist (MFT) .

To rescue your relationship, you will have to forgive your partner – and your partner will have to make a genuine apology and commit to acting to end their cheating for good. If you have been drifting apart, focus on reconnecting rather than pointing fingers and playing the blame game.

4. Lack of Emotional and/or Physical Intimacy

Emotional and physical intimacy “grease the wheels” of a smooth-running relationship. When they’re gone, however, serious relationship issues often take their place.

Communication breakdown, anger, resentment, sadness, loneliness, infidelity, and greatly diminished self-esteem are some of the most serious issues – and left untreated, they can irreparably damage a relationship and pave the road to divorce.

When emotional intimacy is low or non-existent, your sex life will probably suffer as well. When you feel emotionally distant or disconnected from your spouse, your marriage may become a sexless one.

To reignite the spark, try to remember why you fell in love with your spouse and consciously view them through those lenses.

Also, think about what you used to love doing together and carve out time to do those things together again. Spending quality time doing something you both enjoy can help rebuild emotional intimacy, leading to physical intimacy.

Emotional and physical intimacy is like super-glue to strengthen your love and marriage bonds.

5. Communication Problems Between Partners

A breakdown in the lines of communication is one of the biggest predictors of divorce. Couples who don’t communicate well cannot resolve issues together and tend to suffer more misunderstandings and hurt feelings than those who have learned how to resolve conflict respectfully.

Good communication is physical as well as verbal, and it is required for almost everything in a good relationship, including sex, a couple’s finances, whether or not to have children, areas of disagreement, and other sensitive topics unhappy couples deem too dangerous to discuss.

An inability to communicate turns problem-solving sessions into shouting matches, which will eventually kill love, intimacy, and respect in your relationship.

To make it through the inevitable tough times, you must be willing and able to talk about what’s wrong or not working and decide how to resolve these issues together.

“Being able to communicate well requires both good transmission skills (articulation) and good receptive skills (listening). Without both, communication will be, at best, difficult.”

6. Domestic Violence: Abuse by a Partner or Parent

Domestic violence can include any act of tangible or threatened abuse – including verbal, physical, sexual, emotional, and/or economic abuse. In such a relationship, one person gains or maintains power over their partner via a pattern of abusive behavior.

This abuse can be directed solely at a spouse, or it can also involve one or more children of the marriage. If you or your children are in immediate danger, call 911 now!

For 24/7 confidential help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).

In October 2022, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) and the National Domestic Violence Hotline (The Hotline) merged to form Project Opal .

For more resources, visit: https://ncadv.org/get-help

7. Opposing Values or Morals

There have been literal wars fought over differences in race, religion, nationality, and culture – and persecution based on all of these, plus gender, sexuality, and even which political party someone supports.

When two spouses have or develop opposing values and/or morals, and neither can or is willing to see things from their spouse’s point of view, the marriage is likely to end in divorce.

smiling girl and her boyfriend

She believes in a woman’s right to choose, and he believes life begins at conception; his best friend is gay, and his wife is homophobic. They fell in love despite their religious difference, but those differences are tearing them apart now that they have children.

When you’re in love, you tend to overlook or rationalize red flags that your core values and morals are too different for a healthy relationship – but when the rose-colored glasses come off, those differences make it difficult or impossible to sustain a happy marriage.

8. Addiction: Alcohol, Drugs, Gambling, or Sex

There are many different types and degrees of addiction, and many top professionals – politicians, businesspeople, doctors, lawyers, portfolio managers, actors, and athletes, to name a few – have been able to hide their addiction successfully as they rose to the top.

Their spouses may be blissfully unaware, willing to look the other way in return for lifestyle/economic benefits, or gaslighted into believing they’re crazy to suspect their spouse’s addiction. No matter how the moment of truth arrives, it is always shattering.

Whether the marriage can survive depends on several factors – including the addict’s willingness and ability to take responsibility for their addiction, a genuine desire to seek treatment, and a lifelong commitment to recovery.

9. Absence of Romantic Intimacy or Love

This one is far too common given how busy and stressful our lives are – especially when you add driving the kids to football/hockey/baseball/ballet/orchestra/theater/choir practice before and after school into the mix.

Too many couples prioritize everything except their relationships, and then one partner is blindsided when the other says, “I want a divorce.” Contrary to popular belief, romantic love is not self-sustaining: without carving out quality time for intimacy and fun as a couple – not just as a family – love withers like a plant without water or sunshine.

Create a weekly carved-in-stone date night. For example, go to bed, wake up earlier, and use the time for daily physical (cuddling and/or sex) and emotional intimacy. Remember what you loved doing while you were dating, then start doing those things again before it’s too late!

10. One Spouse Not Carrying Their Weight in the Marriage

We all know marriages like this: both spouses work full-time, but only one of them takes responsibility for grocery shopping and cooking, household chores, and child-rearing.

Over time, the spouse whose work doesn’t end when they get home can build up a powerful resentment against the other, and unless the situation is addressed and rectified, the marriage could spiral down into divorce.

Sit down and list everything that needs to be done to keep the household running smoothly. Then, place a name beside each task, making sure to divide the chores equitably.

Don’t forget to add your children’s names to tasks they are old enough to tackle or help with – from setting the table to washing the dishes to mowing the lawn to vacuuming the carpets.

“Not carrying your weight” extends to romance and intimacy; if one partner is the only one making romantic gestures, arranging date nights, or initiating sex, that will also take a toll on the marriage.

11. Financial Problems and Debt

Money has been tight for many couples over the last few years. Arguments about money can become nasty and vindictive – and if a couple lacks the communication skills to discuss their financial problems calmly and rationally, that can be a reason for divorce.

In a marriage, financial problems are not limited to carrying massive debt and/or being unable to cover necessities. When the way spouses think about money and debt – no matter how much or how little of it they actually have – are fundamentally incompatible, it can also cause the breakdown of a marriage.

If financial problems are your main issue, consider hiring an expert specializing in financial divorce issues. They could save money by recommending the most efficient property division, tax, and support strategies.

A divorce financial analyst can also provide scenarios extrapolating your cash flow and net worth 5, 10, or even 20 years into the future if you choose Settlement A vs. Settlement B.

12. Marrying Too Young

A study from the University of Utah suggests that the perfect age to get married is between 28 and 32 . This is because those who marry young most likely don’t fully grasp marriage. This could be a reason why a lot of young married couples get divorced.

About 46% of couples who get married young get divorced. Also, 48% of couples who marry before they turn 18 are most likely to get divorced in 10 years, compared to 25% of people who marry after the age of 25.

13. Lack of Shared Interests / Incompatibility Between Partners

Opposites may attract, but similarities are what bind. With no shared interests, you will either start spending less and less time with your spouse as you pursue your hobbies and passions or give them up in favor of your spouse’s interests.

Both of these strategies will build resentment and weaken the bond you share. If you hope to stay together, you will likely need marriage counseling and a willingness to compromise.

For example, if he loves bowling and she loves dancing, he could bowl with his buddies on Thursdays while she goes dancing with her girlfriends – and then they identify something they both love and do that on “Friday date night.”

This applies to every area of your shared life, from household chores to choosing which extracurricular activities their children will do. If you cannot reach a compromise that both of you can commit to, your incompatibility may lead to divorce.

14. Religious Differences

Religious beliefs and practices play a pivotal role in shaping an individual's worldview, values, and daily rituals.

When two partners come from different religious backgrounds, it can sometimes lead to disagreements on fundamental life choices, from dietary habits to child-rearing practices.

While many interfaith couples find ways to blend their beliefs and traditions, for others harmoniously, the differences can become a source of recurring conflict. The challenge often lies in reconciling deeply held beliefs and finding common ground, especially during significant life events or ceremonies.

In some cases, external pressures from family or the broader community can exacerbate these differences.

Religious differences can significantly lead to marital discord without open communication and mutual respect.

15. Parenting Differences

Parenting is one of the most rewarding yet challenging responsibilities a couple can undertake together.

Differences in parenting styles, stemming from individual upbringings, personal beliefs, or cultural backgrounds, can become a significant source of tension in a marriage. While one partner might advocate for a more disciplined approach, the other might lean towards a lenient and nurturing style.

These disparities can lead to disagreements, ranging from education choices to setting boundaries and disciplinary actions. As children grow and navigate different life stages, these differences can become more pronounced, especially if not addressed early on.

Effective co-parenting requires open communication, compromise, and a unified front. Without these, parenting differences can strain the marital relationship, leading to deeper misunderstandings and conflicts.

16. External Family Pressures

Marriage often means merging two families, bringing along a mix of expectations and traditions. External pressures from in-laws, cultural differences, or unsolicited advice can strain a marriage.

Balancing the couple's needs with extended family demands is crucial. Without clear boundaries and open communication, these pressures can lead to resentment, potentially pushing a couple toward divorce.

17. Unrealistic Expectations

Every individual enters marriage with a set of expectations, often shaped by personal experiences, societal norms, or portrayals in media. While some expectations are reasonable, others can be unrealistic, setting the stage for disappointment and conflict.

Whether it's about roles in the household, financial achievements, or emotional support, when reality doesn't align with these lofty ideals, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and resentment. For a marriage to thrive, it's essential for partners to communicate openly, adjust expectations, and understand that perfection is unattainable.

Unrealistic expectations, if unchecked, can become a silent threat to marital harmony.

18. Trust Issues

Trust is the bedrock of any strong relationship, and its absence can create deep fissures in the foundation of a marriage. Trust issues can stem from past betrayals, misunderstandings, or personal insecurities.

Whether it's doubts about fidelity, financial decisions, or even smaller daily matters, a lack of trust can lead to constant second-guessing and surveillance. This atmosphere of suspicion can stifle open communication and intimacy.

For a marriage to overcome trust issues, it often requires open dialogue, understanding, and sometimes professional counseling. If not addressed, persistent trust issues can erode the bond between partners, making reconciliation challenging.

19. Supporting Each Other's Goals

In a marriage, individual aspirations don't disappear; they intertwine with shared dreams.

Supporting each other's goals is pivotal for mutual growth and fulfillment. When one partner feels their ambitions are sidelined or undervalued, it can lead to feelings of resentment and stagnation.

Whether it's career advancements, personal passions, or educational pursuits, acknowledging and championing these aspirations strengthens the marital bond. Conversely, neglecting or undermining a partner's goals can create a rift, making one feel unsupported or isolated.

Successful marriages often thrive on mutual respect and encouragement, ensuring both partners feel valued in their pursuits.

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Divorce Statistics in Utah

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Divorce Statistics in California

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Divorce Statistics in Texas

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The Cheapest Way to Get Divorced

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The Different Types of Divorce

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What Is an Uncontested Divorce? Everything You Need To Know

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When to Walk Away After Infidelity: 7 Signs It Might Be Time To Leave

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Step-by-Step Guide: How To File for Divorce Online

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How To Respond to Divorce Papers Without an Attorney

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How To Start the Divorce Process: Step-by-Step

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What To Do if You Can’t Afford a Divorce Lawyer

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Can You Get Divorced Without a Lawyer?

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Extramarital affairs is the main reason for divorces (Oliver). Infidelity causes anger and resentment among those who are married, and often tears apart the emotional connection couples have. Though one event of infidelity can be tackled through counseling, multiple accounts of extramarital affairs usually result in divorce.

Another main reason why people get divorced is money. Different spending habits, opposite financial goals, and a lack of money can produce great strain on a marriage (Oliver). If the couple has children, money becomes even more vital to the sustainability of the relationship.

Though it may seem minor, a lack of communication is another key reason for divorce. If one or both partners in the marriage feel they cannot express themselves properly, or feel they are not being listened to, resentment can easily settle in (Oliver). Yelling and interrupting are common signs that a couple is not communicating well.

Some people cannot stand the amount of arguments they have with their partners. If couples are bickering constantly, the joy of marriage cannot show through (Oliver). Arguments commonly stem from not being able to understand another person’s view, which is essential in a healthy relationship.

Unfortunately, weight gain leads to many divorces. Say if a couple started out as both skinny, and one partner became overweight, the attraction to that partner might be lost. That loss of attraction causes many to turn in divorce papers, as they cannot fathom staying in a relationship with someone they do not feel comfortable with in a romantic way (Oliver).

Another prominent cause of divorce is unreasonable expectations (Oliver). It is good for the partners in marriage to discuss each other’s expectations before signing the matrimony papers, as partners often have varying expectations of what the marriage entails, and the positions the partners will hold in it. Sometimes one partner will have lofty expectations for the marriage without his or her partner realizing it.

Though love should be the overriding reason to get married, it seems, a lack of intimacy causes many couples to get divorced. The romantic, maybe even infatuated love that married couples feel in the beginning of their marriages eventually subsides. It is natural, but how the partners deal with this decrease in sexual contact often decides how the future marriage will pan out (Oliver).

Though common sense, equality in marriages is not often achieved. Each partner should feel equal in the marriage, and not dominated. Though it is delicate balance, it can be accomplished. Those who cannot achieve this often ask for a divorce, as they feel they are being shackled by his or her marriage instead of feeling a sense of joy and happiness from the relationship (Oliver).

Alas, some people are not prepared for marriage. Many people rush to get married in a romantic frenzy without taking in the consequences of such an action (Oliver). They could be unprepared in terms of financial stability, emotional stability, and mental stability. Surprisingly, the age group with the highest rate of divorce are people in their 20s (Oliver). So, when getting married, be sure that you feel that everything is set for the occasion.

A sad fact about marriages is that with emotional, physical, and mental strain, abuse can follow. This abuse does not have to refer to only physical abuse, but also emotional and psychological abuse (Oliver). Abuse can come from both men and women, and should not be thought of only as an attack against women, however women are subject to most of the physical abuse that occurs.

As you can see, the cause of divorce is multifaceted. Though one issue might put enough pressure on a marriage for the couple to go for a divorce, commonly a combination of problems arise that lend to the couple pondering the end of their relationship. Through infidelity, money issues, a lack of communication, constant arguing, weight gain, unrealistic expectations, a lack of intimacy, a lack of equality, a lack of preparedness, and abuse, marriages are broken. It is important for couples, therefore, to get counseling when any of these issues arise.

Sometimes expository essays can cover more complex topics. Moreover, they can also be sensitive ones as well. So it’s crucial to find proper words and objective arguments to clearly express your opinion. Have you asked yourself: “What is a good homework help website that could give me useful insights on this type of writing?” Then, you might want to check the reviews on the topic, as there are plenty of options to choose from.

Oliver Smith (2017). Mapped: The countries with the highest divorce rate. [online] The Telegraph . Available at: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/maps-and-graphics/mapped-countries-with-highest-divorce-rate/ [Accessed 20 Sep. 2017].

Marriage Advice – Best Marriage Advice & Tips for Couples. (2017). 10 Most Common Reasons for Divorce | Marriage.Com. [online] Available at: https://www.marriage.com/advice/divorce/10-most-common-reasons-for-divorce/ [Accessed 20 Sep. 2017].

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Carolyn Hax: What to tell a child when her dad hated being a parent?

divorce reasons essay

Adapted from an online discussion.

Dear Carolyn: My husband and I have a daughter, 4, and are in the process of a divorce. I would never, ever want her to think the divorce is her fault, but her existence is the reason for it. Shortly after her birth — it had been an accidental pregnancy — my husband decided he hated parenting. Eventually, I could no longer stomach living with someone who was miserable all the time and hated being around his family.

My current script is, “Families look all kinds of ways, and right now our family won’t live in the same house,” but when she’s older, she’ll want to know why. I don’t know what to say when the reasons are exactly what she might fear. A vague, “Your dad and I just didn’t live well together”?

Parent: Her existence isn’t the reason for the divorce, though! His falling short is the reason. One hundred percent, it’s his inability or unwillingness to own and adapt to the circumstances he created.

Millions of parents wake up to a screaming baby and say, “Holy [unprintable], what have I done” — maybe possibly more than once! — yet they go on to be excellent parents.

About Carolyn Hax

divorce reasons essay

Or they go on to be merely adequate parents, which is fine. They find a way to get whatever help they need (depression and overwhelm happen to dads, too), then freaking show up and find their smile for the child. Accidental child or planned child, because once the child is born, that reasoning no longer counts.

Side note about depression: If it’s possible your husband is depressed, and that’s why he shut down on parenting, then please encourage him to seek evaluation and treatment. Small kids can be way harder than people expect, with physical consequences to that struggle.

Anyway. The answer to your question, at long last: You tell your daughter whatever version of the truth you want to tell that blocks the doors to her thinking it’s about her or that you’ll leave her, too (doors that kids are very creative about finding). You and he wanted different things from life. You were too different as people. You grew apart. All are about you and her dad as spouses, none about Mom and her girl. Say this.

Readers’ thoughts:

· It is not a lie to eventually tell your daughter that you and your ex had different priorities, and those choices made living together and raising a child together an impossibility.

· Your daughter will figure out over time why you and your husband divorced. In the meantime, focus on helping her develop skills to cope, like self-acceptance, resilience, understanding other viewpoints. Obviously, break these down into tiny bite-size pieces in her younger years. He left because he couldn’t cope, but kids often over-personalize things in their lives.

· My husband’s parents divorced when he was about that age. His dad cheated on his mom. My mother-in-law never wanted to bad-mouth his dad, so my husband did what kids do: He drew his own conclusions and decided his father didn’t like kids. Kids are inherently egocentric, and it’s natural for them to think everything traces back to them. Be sure to tell her SOMETHING; otherwise (especially if her relationship with her dad is strained), she may come to the conclusion independently that it’s her fault.

· Perhaps it will help both you and your daughter if you find counseling soon. If you internalize that your daughter’s existence is the reason for your divorce, then you may act this out in your parenting. You don’t want her ever to learn and believe that.

More from Carolyn Hax

From the archive:

They refused to host sick dog; mother-in-law is ‘livid’

A stay-at-home mom trapped in a career woman’s life

Estranged dad pressures child who wants ‘no contact ever’

Has breast cancer treatment altered her dating prospects?

Can’t understand why brother blocked your number? Hello?

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Carolyn has a Q&A with readers on Fridays. Read the most recent live chat here . The next chat is April 12 at 12 p.m.

Resources for getting help. Frequently asked questions about the column. Chat glossary

divorce reasons essay

Home — Essay Samples — Life — Divorce — The Main Causes Of Divorce

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Overview of The Main Causes of Divorce

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Words: 2043 |

11 min read

Published: Mar 18, 2021

Words: 2043 | Pages: 4 | 11 min read

Table of contents

Introduction, major causes of divorce, causes of divorce: essay conclusion, works cited.

  • Amato, P. R. (2010). Research on divorce: Continuing trends and new developments. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72(3), 650-666.
  • Cobb, N., & Boivin, J. (2019). “It takes two to tango”: Communication and trust as predictors of marital satisfaction. The Family Journal, 27(1), 68-74.
  • Feldman, B. N., & Broussard, C. A. (2006). Men’s adjustment to their wives’ breast cancer: A problem-solving perspective. Journal of Family Psychology, 20(1), 1-7.
  • Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The seven principles for making marriage work: A practical guide from the country’s foremost relationship expert. Harmony.
  • Hawkins, A. J., Blanchard, V. L., Baldwin, S. A., & Fawcett, E. B. (2008). Does marriage and relationship education work? A meta-analytic study. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 76(5), 723-734.
  • Johnson, M. D., & Anderson, J. R. (2015). The evolution of divorce ideology in the United States. Journal of Marriage and Family, 77(2), 347-360.
  • Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. (1995). The longitudinal course of marital quality and stability: A review of theory, method, and research. Psychological Bulletin, 118(1), 3-34.
  • Markman, H. J., Stanley, S. M., & Blumberg, S. L. (2010). Fighting for your marriage: Positive steps for preventing divorce and preserving a lasting love. John Wiley & Sons.
  • Sassler, S., Addo, F. R., & Lichter, D. T. (2012). The tempo of sexual activity and later relationship quality. Journal of Marriage and Family, 74(4), 708-725.
  • Snyder, D. K., Castellani, A. M., & Whisman, M. A. (2006). Current status and future directions in couple therapy. Annual Review of Psychology, 57, 317-344.

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Tori Spelling Broke the News to Dean McDermott That She Was Filing for Divorce on Debut Episode of Her Podcast

Tori Spelling filed for divorce from husband Dean McDermott on Friday after 18 years of marriage

divorce reasons essay

Dave Quinn is a Senior Editor for PEOPLE. He has been working at the brand since 2016, and is the author of the No. 1 New York Times best-selling book, Not All Diamonds and Rosé: The Inside Story of the Real Housewives from the People Who Lived It.

divorce reasons essay

Amy Sussman/Getty

Tori Spelling broke the news to her estranged husband Dean McDermott that she had filed for divorce on the air.

On the debut installment of her podcast misSPELLING , the Beverly Hills, 90210 alum, 50, revealed that she had just filed for divorce after 18 years of marriage, saying, “I don’t know what feels more like a punch in the stomach: that it’s out there and it’s final, or that I have to call him right now.”

She then called McDermott, 57, but he didn't pick up, so she left him a voicemail asking him to return to her call.

Taylor Hill/WireImage

“There’s this weird thing that I didn’t know about before,” Spelling explained of her decision to call her ex. “That you have to be careful with your ex, like it’s he said, she said, who filed first, so I had to file and go through the process and then once it was accepted and publicly posted, then I’m allowed to call and fill in my ex.” 

“So I just called Dean. He’s working and I have to tell him and I’m super nervous because I don’t like confrontation,” she added.

Later in the podcast, her phone rang and listeners heard her side of the conversation with McDermott. “I hate to do this to you while you’re at work. They’ve done it. It’s just the formality, it’s just a one-sheet you check off and next you’ll have to sign it," she said.

McDermott then seemingly questioned how it will be received that she filed first and she responded, “I mean, in all honesty after this whole journey, if it’s about that — like, who filed first, the other person’s wrong — I feel like I deserve to file first then.” 

Spelling explained that he had “basically put it all out there” in his November 2023 interview with the Daily Mail , in which he revealed that the couple hadn't been sleeping in the same bed anymore, and their marriage was characterized by “anger and…yelling.”

“You said everything you’ve done to me over the years, so I think it would make perfect sense that... I would follow,” she said. “‘Cause those are things I never would have divulged to anybody and you did.”

“It’s just a one sheet where you check divorce and irreconcilable differences,” she said. “OK, I love you. OK. Bye.”

Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images

Following the release of the podcast, McDermott shared his own update after the couple’s split.

Per a video obtained by the Daily Mail , the Canadian star noted that he's doing "good" amid the divorce news. "It's been a long time coming but T and I are good," he added.

On Friday, Spelling cited irreconcilable differences as the reason behind their split in documents obtained by PEOPLE. Listing their official date of separation as June 17, 2023, Spelling requested the court to award her spousal support and terminate McDermott's ability to receive the same.

She also asked for sole physical custody of their five minor children — Liam Aaron McDermott , 17, Stella Doreen , 15, Hattie Margaret , 12, Finn Davey , 11 and Beau Dean , 7 — and joint legal custody with McDermott's visitation rights to be determined at a later date.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

On the same day Spelling listed as their date of separation, McDermott  announced  that the couple had decided to go their separate ways in a statement that was later deleted off his Instagram.

“It’s with great sadness and a very very heavy heart that after 18 years together and 5 amazing children, that @torispelling and I have decided to go our separate ways, and start a new journey of our own,” he wrote at the time.

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The Supreme Court Got It Wrong: Abortion Is Not Settled Law

In an black-and-white photo illustration, nine abortion pills are arranged on a grid.

By Melissa Murray and Kate Shaw

Ms. Murray is a law professor at New York University. Ms. Shaw is a contributing Opinion writer.

In his majority opinion in the case overturning Roe v. Wade, Justice Samuel Alito insisted that the high court was finally settling the vexed abortion debate by returning the “authority to regulate abortion” to the “people and their elected representatives.”

Despite these assurances, less than two years after Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, abortion is back at the Supreme Court. In the next month, the justices will hear arguments in two high-stakes cases that may shape the future of access to medication abortion and to lifesaving care for pregnancy emergencies. These cases make clear that Dobbs did not settle the question of abortion in America — instead, it generated a new slate of questions. One of those questions involves the interaction of existing legal rules with the concept of fetal personhood — the view, held by many in the anti-abortion movement, that a fetus is a person entitled to the same rights and protections as any other person.

The first case , scheduled for argument on Tuesday, F.D.A. v. Alliance for Hippocratic Medicine, is a challenge to the Food and Drug Administration’s protocols for approving and regulating mifepristone, one of the two drugs used for medication abortions. An anti-abortion physicians’ group argues that the F.D.A. acted unlawfully when it relaxed existing restrictions on the use and distribution of mifepristone in 2016 and 2021. In 2016, the agency implemented changes that allowed the use of mifepristone up to 10 weeks of pregnancy, rather than seven; reduced the number of required in-person visits for dispensing the drug from three to one; and allowed the drug to be prescribed by individuals like nurse practitioners. In 2021, it eliminated the in-person visit requirement, clearing the way for the drug to be dispensed by mail. The physicians’ group has urged the court to throw out those regulations and reinstate the previous, more restrictive regulations surrounding the drug — a ruling that could affect access to the drug in every state, regardless of the state’s abortion politics.

The second case, scheduled for argument on April 24, involves the Emergency Medical Treatment and Labor Act (known by doctors and health policymakers as EMTALA ), which requires federally funded hospitals to provide patients, including pregnant patients, with stabilizing care or transfer to a hospital that can provide such care. At issue is the law’s interaction with state laws that severely restrict abortion, like an Idaho law that bans abortion except in cases of rape or incest and circumstances where abortion is “necessary to prevent the death of the pregnant woman.”

Although the Idaho law limits the provision of abortion care to circumstances where death is imminent, the federal government argues that under EMTALA and basic principles of federal supremacy, pregnant patients experiencing emergencies at federally funded hospitals in Idaho are entitled to abortion care, even if they are not in danger of imminent death.

These cases may be framed in the technical jargon of administrative law and federal pre-emption doctrine, but both cases involve incredibly high-stakes issues for the lives and health of pregnant persons — and offer the court an opportunity to shape the landscape of abortion access in the post-Roe era.

These two cases may also give the court a chance to seed new ground for fetal personhood. Woven throughout both cases are arguments that gesture toward the view that a fetus is a person.

If that is the case, the legal rules that would typically hold sway in these cases might not apply. If these questions must account for the rights and entitlements of the fetus, the entire calculus is upended.

In this new scenario, the issue is not simply whether EMTALA’s protections for pregnant patients pre-empt Idaho’s abortion ban, but rather which set of interests — the patient’s or the fetus’s — should be prioritized in the contest between state and federal law. Likewise, the analysis of F.D.A. regulatory protocols is entirely different if one of the arguments is that the drug to be regulated may be used to end a life.

Neither case presents the justices with a clear opportunity to endorse the notion of fetal personhood — but such claims are lurking beneath the surface. The Idaho abortion ban is called the Defense of Life Act, and in its first bill introduced in 2024, the Idaho Legislature proposed replacing the term “fetus” with “preborn child” in existing Idaho law. In its briefs before the court, Idaho continues to beat the drum of fetal personhood, insisting that EMTALA protects the unborn — rather than pregnant women who need abortions during health emergencies.

According to the state, nothing in EMTALA imposes an obligation to provide stabilizing abortion care for pregnant women. Rather, the law “actually requires stabilizing treatment for the unborn children of pregnant women.” In the mifepristone case, advocates referred to fetuses as “unborn children,” while the district judge in Texas who invalidated F.D.A. approval of the drug described it as one that “starves the unborn human until death.”

Fetal personhood language is in ascent throughout the country. In a recent decision , the Alabama Supreme Court allowed a wrongful-death suit for the destruction of frozen embryos intended for in vitro fertilization, or I.V.F. — embryos that the court characterized as “extrauterine children.”

Less discussed but as worrisome is a recent oral argument at the Florida Supreme Court concerning a proposed ballot initiative intended to enshrine a right to reproductive freedom in the state’s Constitution. In considering the proposed initiative, the chief justice of the state Supreme Court repeatedly peppered Nathan Forrester, the senior deputy solicitor general who was representing the state, with questions about whether the state recognized the fetus as a person under the Florida Constitution. The point was plain: If the fetus was a person, then the proposed ballot initiative, and its protections for reproductive rights, would change the fetus’s rights under the law, raising constitutional questions.

As these cases make clear, the drive toward fetal personhood goes beyond simply recasting abortion as homicide. If the fetus is a person, any act that involves reproduction may implicate fetal rights. Fetal personhood thus has strong potential to raise questions about access to abortion, contraception and various forms of assisted reproductive technology, including I.V.F.

In response to the shifting landscape of reproductive rights, President Biden has pledged to “restore Roe v. Wade as the law of the land.” Roe and its successor, Planned Parenthood v. Casey, were far from perfect; they afforded states significant leeway to impose onerous restrictions on abortion, making meaningful access an empty promise for many women and families of limited means. But the two decisions reflected a constitutional vision that, at least in theory, protected the liberty to make certain intimate choices — including choices surrounding if, when and how to become a parent.

Under the logic of Roe and Casey, the enforceability of EMTALA, the F.D.A.’s power to regulate mifepristone and access to I.V.F. weren’t in question. But in the post-Dobbs landscape, all bets are off. We no longer live in a world in which a shared conception of constitutional liberty makes a ban on I.V.F. or certain forms of contraception beyond the pale.

Melissa Murray, a law professor at New York University and a host of the Supreme Court podcast “ Strict Scrutiny ,” is a co-author of “ The Trump Indictments : The Historic Charging Documents With Commentary.”

Kate Shaw is a contributing Opinion writer, a professor of law at the University of Pennsylvania Carey Law School and a host of the Supreme Court podcast “Strict Scrutiny.” She served as a law clerk to Justice John Paul Stevens and Judge Richard Posner.

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The Sad State of Cultural Life In Moscow (Or Peking) As Viewed From Peking (Or Moscow)

By lowell r. tillett.

During the last decade Cold War rhetoric has taken an unexpected turn. The quantity and intensity of angry exchanges between capitalism and Communism have subsided almost everywhere, while the two major practitioners of Communism have been having it out. Moscow and Peking have blasted each other with charges more scurrilous and personal than the wildest anti-Communist might have ventured in the fifties. In May, 1970, the New York Times, reflecting on the fact that Mao had included in his celebration of Lenin’s centennial a comparison of Brezhnev and Hitler, and Moscow had reciprocated with a charge that Mao was a philanderer who had murdered his own son, observed that “even at the height of the Cold War, it is doubtful that any official American pronouncement matched, much less exceeded, the bitterness” of such exchanges.

Lost in the shadoAvs of the more newsworthy arguments about borders, nuclear war, and leadership of world Communism, is another aspect of the unprecedented Sino-Soviet ideological quarrel—a no-holds-barred and below-the-belt brawl on the nature and function of culture in a Communist society. Each of the Communist giants contends that the other is a traitor to Marxism and has done irreparable harm to the cause of proletarian culture.

This enormous, orchestrated propaganda campaign is carried on not only in the press, but especially by round-the-clock broadcasts over the back fence from Radio Moscow and Radio Peking. The Soviet Party journal Kommunist complained in 1969 that two-thirds of some Chinese newspapers were filled with anti-Soviet material and that Radio Peking was broadcasting to the USSR up to fifty hours per day on forty frequencies, including some reserved for distress calls. The Soviet press and radio were answering on the same scale, the latter intensifying its effort beginning in that year through “Radio Peace and Progress,” beaming broadcasts from Tashkent in the languages of the Chinese minority peoples, as well as standard Chinese.

The campaign has had its ups and clowns. It grew more and more intense from 1967, reaching a peak in the summer of 1969. It was then turned off like a faucet for a few months—neither Moscow nor Peking saying a disparaging word about the other—while border talks were being held. It has had periodic outbursts since. The Soviets have recently made occasional references to the relaxation of Mao’s cultural policies, but have not retreated from their basic charges. The Chinese have not retreated one iota, but have observed long periods of silence on the subject.

Each side holds that the other has strayed from the Marxist path and betrayed the proletariat. The method of betrayal is the same in either case: the Communist Party of China (or the Soviet Union) has been “kidnapped” by a small clique, which is building its power and ruling for selfish goals. Each side assigns a definite date to the betrayal. The Chinese claim that Stalin hewed to the Marxist line, but soon after his death that “buffoon,” Khrushchev, and his “renegade revisionist clique” began a clandestine but systematic program for “the all-round restoration of capitalism.” The Soviets hold that at roughly the same time the Chinese Party lost its battle against Mao, who is not a Marxist at all, but an unprincipled opportunist Avho has built a fearful “personality cult” through purge and intimidation.

The cultural policies of each power, as observed by the other, are an important manifestation of the Marxist heresy and a means of realizing the tyrants’ goals. Each side presents a caricature of the other and in the process reveals something about itself. The Chinese have concentrated on detecting and exposing capitalistic characteristics in Soviet culture; the Soviets have dwelt on the wild, romantic, whimsical experimentation of Maoism, which “has nothing in common with Marxism.”

In support of their proposition that the Soviet “renegades” are restoring capitalism, the Chinese point to what they consider scandalous wage differentials and examples of high living, in the worst tradition of bourgeois capitalists, among Soviet leaders. These cases prove to Chinese satisfaction that a new class division is growing in the USSR and that the class struggle—that hallmark of a capitalist society—is not only present, but is intensifying.

The Chinese find many examples of extravagant living among the “high-salaried privileged stratum.” While among Soviet workers “two or three families share a single room,” the tycoons are concerned about luxurious second houses by the sea. One villa on the Black Sea “has two swimming pools, one for fresh water and another for salt water” and another has a special room for the master’s dog. While Soviet workers suffer from periodic food shortages, their leaders enjoy “beef and mutton from Mongolia, champagne from France, onions from Poland, grapes from Bulgaria.” And while the Avorkers complain of shortages of shoes and underwear, the privileged squander hard currency on imported fashions. As evidence, the Chinese once wryly quoted a compliment from the camp of the enemy: Die Welt’s opinion that the Soviet Union “has never seen a Party chief as fashionable as Brezhnev . . ., with a silvery grey necktie and an impeccable, well-tailored black suit, he is so smartly groomed that he gives no thought at all about Lenin’s style of dress.”

It is little wonder that Soviet leaders, seduced by these capitalist comforts, should be diverted from the causes of the people. “When these fat and comfortable Communists . . .tog themselves up in Italian fashion, sip a glass of martini [sic] and bounce to the rhythm of American jazz, how it is possible for them to think of the liberation fighters in the South Vietnamese jungles, the starving peasants in the Indian countryside, and the Afro-Americans in Harlem?”

The evils of the system are not confined to the “upper strata,” but have seeped down to another group which can only be identified by its capitalist nomenclature, the middle class. The Chinese have denounced such capitalist trappings as pawnshops, classified advertising, and the free markets where agricultural products and handicrafts are sold by individuals. When the Moscow Pawnshops Administration tried in 1967 to promote its operations by offering better guarantees, transactions by telephone, and even house calls by the pawnbroker, the Chinese press rose to the occasion, asking rhetorically, “Just what is a pawnshop?. . . Whatever the color of its signboard, and whatever its sidelines, its main business is usury, in other words, sucking the blood out of the poor. It is rather strange that thriving pawnbrokers should be a sign of the transition to Communism and that the workers will enter Communist society with wads of pawn tickets in their pockets.”

The Chinese were also disturbed by the proliferation of classified advertisements in the Moscow evening newspaper. The mere existence of such ads was regarded as prima facie evidence of a capitalist society, since “advertising in the bourgeois press is a medium by which capitalists push sales, carry out cut-throat competition, and grab profits.” But the Chinese turned the knife in the wound by noting the business being transacted: villas and summer cottages wanted, medals wanted, lottery tickets wanted, jobs wanted, and divorce announcements. “Multiplying like fungi , . . .these ads reek with the stink of bourgeois ideology and way of life.”

The Chinese share with the Russians great fears about the profit motive in the private sector of Soviet agriculture. They regard the free markets, where products from the private plots are sold as “a paradise for kulaks and speculators. . . . In the free markets, people rub shoulders in crowds. They push and jostle each other. It is a sickening scene of noise and confusion, with hawkings to attract customers, angry bargaining, etc.”

The Chinese also detect signs of restored capitalism in the trappings of popular culture in the USSR. What could be more symptomatic of decadent bourgeois society than fashion shows, fashion magazines, beauty shops, nude pictures, fancy wedding ceremonies, dog shows, and comic strips?

According to the Chinese, “the Soviet revisionists have discarded the plain working-class clothing of Lenin for the sophisticated styles of the bourgeoisie.” They publish “fashion and hair style magazines to corrupt the Soviet people, particularly the youth,” and have staged fashion shows at home and abroad. At one “Soviet fashion design show” in Washington, the models wore fashions by “the Soviet Union’s best-known avant garde designer, who copied the cowboy pants and mini-skirts of the West.”

The Chinese claim that even the Communist Youth League, the customary apprenticeship to the Communist Party, has entered the race for fashion and beauty. They were alarmed to find out that “there is a Beauty Parlor for Young Communist League Members and Youths” in Leningrad, where discussions on “new hair fashions” and “hair-do contests” are held every Sunday. And “in Moscow, so-called clubs for girls have been set up in some cultural palaces to attract young women workers to study “the secrets of beauty culture” and “problems of love. ” Is this following the behest of Lenin?”

It is only a short step from the fashion show to the even more decadent dog show. “The Soviet revisionists also put on dog shows in Moscow similar to those in New York and London and went so far as to make this thing fashionable. All this is the height of rottenness.”

In popular Soviet wedding ceremonies, Peking detects a throwback to tsarist days. “In Moscow nowadays, one often sees troikas of the type common in the days of old Russia galloping by. They carry no ordinary passengers, but cater to newlyweds,” carrying them to the wedding palace. The hiring of troikas has become a thriving business, for, according to TASS, “wedding vehicles have been booked up for the whole spring season.”

For the younger set, Soviet authorities have tried to make learning about scientific subjects more palatable by using the form of the comic strip. The Chinese reaction was this:

The Soviet revisionists have resorted to new methods of corrupting the young by churning out “science” fiction and comics modeled after “Alley-Oop,” “Blonclie,” “Batman,” etc. Under the pretext of disseminating scientific knowledge, such garbage from the Soviet press fosters venomous fantasy.

Having set the Soviet Union on such a dangerous course, the leaders have accepted the uglier features of bourgeois society—unsavory night life, increasing crime, alcoholism, and prostitution. When the Soviet press called on recreation officials to “brighten up night life,” the Chinese press wondered what the workers, who “toil from dawn to dusk,” could possibly do with a nightclub. They have no time to loaf, and such “decadent and licentious recreation is completely alien” to them. Nightclubs are “the hallmark of the Western way of life” where “bourgeois ladies and gentlemen and their offspring, who fatten on the sweat and blood of the working people . . .squander their ill-gotten gains.” And “since night clubs are being readied, brothels, gambling houses, and other such foul trades will also make their public appearance before long.”

On at least one of these subjects, alcoholism, the Chinese get plenty of ammunition from the Soviet press. But characteristically they accentuate the negative, citing the most glaring cases from Soviet articles, without acknowledging that the whole purpose of the Soviet discussion is remedial. They suggest that Ivan drinks a lot to cover his disillusionment with the régime, his sorrow for a revolution betrayed.

The Soviet counterpart of the Chinese charges of restored capitalism in the USSR is the contention that Mao’s erratic ideas and adventurism have wrecked traditional Chinese culture and have not put anything worthwhile in its place. Maoist thoughts not only drive out the harder currency of creative ideas; they serve as a religious opiate: “Mao Tse-tung’s thoughts do not differ from the religious intoxicants which develop the minds of the people and promise them a better lot—in another world.” Furthermore, Mao has a deep anti-intellectual streak (“the more books you read, the more stupid you become”) and Chinese intellectuals have been the scapegoats for the failure of his many experiments. As a result of all this, the Soviets see China as a cultural wasteland.

According to Marxism cultural life, like almost everything else, is based on economic underpinnings and the Soviets contend that Mao has failed the Chinese people at this basic point. The standard of living in China remains at a very low level, and there is no plan to improve it substantially in the foreseeable future. According to Mao’s doctrine of “primitive asceticism” all incentiA r es to material gain are denounced, and poverty is a virtue. While the Chinese rail against wage differentials in the USSR, the Russians deplore the grinding poverty of the whole Chinese population, a condition which is accepted and lauded by the leadership. One Soviet spokesman cited the chorus from a popular Chinese play:

First you walked barefoot. Then you put on rag slippers, and then—rubber shoes. This time you may wish to sport leather shoes, or even high boots. What will become of you in this process of bourgeois degradation?

Another Soviet position in this quarrel rings strange in the Western ear, for vis-à-vis the Chinese, they are champions of the rights of the individual against the demands of the state. They charge that Mao has so completely subdued, “brainwashed,” and regimented the Chinese people that there are no areas of individual freedom left, and this includes all cultural life at a personal level. The demands for group activity are so great that a Chinese can no longer enjoy the simplest pleasures—taking a walk, going fishing, playing cards, or taking a nap on his day off. Such activities have been condemned as bourgeois. One Soviet broadcast lamented Mao’s purge of billions of goldfish. “The Peking press, . . .calling for greater revolutionary vigilance, urged the people to destroy the fishbowls and to carry out the revolution, because goldfish breeding was an assault by the bourgeoisie on the proletariat.”

The goal of Maoist cultural policy, in the Soviet view, is to reduce the individual to the rôle of an ant in the giant anthill. Several phrases on this theme, which were upheld as ideals in China during the Cultural Revolution, have been quoted in contempt in Soviet propaganda. Workers are asked to become “little stainless screws” in Mao’s machine. According to the diary of a Chinese soldier, “although a cog is small, its rôle is inestimable. I want to be a cog always, . . .cleaned and protected so that it does not rust.” The peasant’s variant has him aspiring to be “an obedient buffalo of the great helmsman,” and children pledge themselves as “red seedlings.”

Chinese culture has been submerged in the morass of Mao worship. Instead of reading traditional Chinese literature (much of which has perished in the flames of the Cultural Revolution) Chinese children memorize twenty quotations per day from Mao’s thought. Mao quotations are chanted at meals and at public rallies. “From the very early morning Peking’s streets are filled with a roar which comes from loudspeakers. . . . It is impossible to collect one’s thoughts and think about what is happening.” There is no escape in visiting the theater or the music hall, in listening to the radio, or reading the popular press, which are all saturated with Mao themes.

The Soviets are also, rather surprisingly, the champions of traditional cultural values and have given much attention to the cultural nihilism of the Cultural Revolution. While the Chinese were citing Marx and Lenin passages calling for the destruction of bourgeois culture and the remolding of intellectuals, the Soviets have cited other passages emphasizing the need for continuity and critical assimilation of the culture of the past.

In the fine arts the Chinese are somewhere to the right of Stalin; they advocate socialist realism with a vengeance. Every work of art is judged strictly on its utility in furthering the revolution, and any work that does not do so in a straightforward way is a “poisonous weed” which must be eradicated. One of the earliest criticisms of Khrushchev’s cultural policy was that he had permitted the rehabilitation of “revisionist royalist writers” who had quite properly been suppressed by Stalin. Among these were Mikhail Zoshchenko and Anna Akhmatova, who shared the heresy of ideological neutrality in some of their works. Like Stalin, the Chinese regard non-conforming literature to be extremely detrimental: “a single bullet can only kill a single person, but the influence of a single reactionary novel can harm ten thousand people.”

The Chinese have attacked more than a dozen Soviet writers, but their main efforts have been made against three. Mikhail Sholokhov has drawn more fire from Chinese critics than all other Soviet writers combined. They regard him as the most dangerous kind of cultural figure, a counter-revolutionary who manages to hoodwink his countrymen, a “termite that sneaked into the revolutionary camp.”

In the Chinese view, Sholokhov’s works are full of counter-revolutionary messages, and his characters are not properly oriented. In “And Quiet Flows the Don” Grigory is an out-and-out white guard, whose tragic experiences are treated sympathetically. Sholokhov weighs the personal sufferings of his characters against the Revolution and questions whether the sacrifice was worth it. Furthermore, the author “exaggerated the counter-revolutionary rebellion,” stated openly that “there were too many bad elements” in the Bolshevik Party, and pointed out the “excessive actions” of the Red Army against the enemy-—all “impermissible” according to Maoist literary standards. In “Virgin Soil Upturned” Sholokhov “maliciously distorted the features of the poor and lower-middle peasants and vilified them as opponents of collectivization.” He “prettifies the class enemy” and “describes collectivization as a series of endless disasters.”

Sholokhov’s Nobel prize confirms Chinese suspicions. “Sholokhov, in a state of awed excitement, accepted the Nobel prize for literature, which even the French bourgeois writer Jean-Paul Sartre would not accept. In Sartre’s words, to accept the prize would be to receive “a distinction reserved for the writers of the West or for the traitors of the East. “”

Konstantin Simonov’s popular war novels, “The Living and the Dead” and “Days and Nights,” have been attacked for their strong condemnation of war. In Mao’s view the violence and destructiveness of wars should not be emphasized to the exclusion of the positive results of just wars, which are the means by which the working class will destroy imperialism. In Mao’s words, “war is politics with bloodshed.” But Simonov’s novels, concerning the German invasion of Russia in 1941 and the battle of Stalingrad, view war in a totally negative way. There is too much gore, not enough glory. The main characters only want to survive—to survive for such selfish reasons as to return to a lover or to school. Simonov would “stamp out the flames of peoples’ revolutionary wars.” Besides, he emphasizes the might of the German army and the weakness of the Red Army. He had the Red Army falling back to Stalingrad because of weakness and not to launch a counter-attack, as the Chinese prefer to have it.

Yevgeny Yevtushenko, who is always referred to as a “playboy poet,” has committed all the cardinal sins: he has condemned Stalin, China, and written anti-war poetry. Furthermore, he is a writer “who sold his soul” to United States imperialism. He first came to fame for “brutally defaming Stalin after the Twentieth Congress of the CPSU. This clown described himself as “weeping like all others when Stalin died. ” Yet before his tears were dry, he had trod upon Khrushchev’s heels in attacking Stalin.” Yevtushenko’s “mud-slinging” poems against the Cultural Revolution have drawn heavy fire from the Chinese, as have his popular recital trips to the West.

Soviet criticism of the current Chinese literary scene seldom involves specific writers or works, since the main Soviet complaint is that the Cultural Revolution and the Maoist cult have destroyed old literary works and prevented new ones from being written. “In effect, sentence of death has been pronounced on China’s centuries-old culture.” A 1969 broadcast charged that not a single novel had been published in China during the last four years and that the author of the last one was soon in trouble. The fate of foreign literature in China was equally bad. According to Sovetskaya Kultura, “between 1949 and 1956, 2683 works of classical Russian and Soviet literature had been published in the Chinese language in a total of 66,500,000.” But these have all been swept away in “the prairie fire of the Cultural Revolution.” Soviet accounts are full of descriptions of book burning, the destruction of bookshops and libraries, and of trash heaps which serve as collection points for condemned literature. Meanwhile three billion copies of Mao’s works have been turned out in China.

The Russians do single out one Chinese writer for biting criticism, and it cuts to the quick: they have a very low opinion of the literary efforts of Mao Tse-tung. His poems are always vague and sometimes incomprehensible. One of the Russian translators of Mao’s poetry stated in an interview that “these verses are incomprehensible, not merely on first reading; even readers with philological education cannot explain the meaning of some phrases exactly.” Red Guards sing Mao’s words “frequently without understanding their meaning.”

Furthermore, Mao’s poetry is ideologically suspect. The Soviet verdict on one of his poems was that “it is merely an imitation of decadent court poetry, full of embellishing phrases.” Other Soviet critics have noted that “Mao’s imagination has always been captivated by the imagery and personalities of the rulers of old imperial China. Moreover, Mao’s personality has clear traces of the characteristics of the Chinese Emperors.” Radio Moscow has broadcast detailed analyses of “Yellow Stork Flying,” one of Mao’s most popular poems, detecting almost precise figures found in the verse of one of the Tang emperors, “an aesthete, whose life . . .was given over to meditations concerning the apparition of the yellow stork.”

“Counter-revolutionary plays dominate the Soviet stage”—so reads a typical Chinese critique. Popular Soviet plays are condemned for sowing “the virus of pacifism,” “distorting facts about the anti-fascist war” with Hitler, “repudiating the Stalin cult, vilifying the dictatorship of the proletariat,” and for advocating “a life of eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you die.”

Chinese objections to the Soviet theater center about their attacks on Konstantin Stanislavsky, whose method acting has drawn frequent fire from Peking. The core of the method, as the Chinese see it, is the “self,” the “innermost I.” Such “stinking egoism” is a betrayal of class consciousness. According to the method, the actor who plays a landlord or capitalist must delve into his sub-consciousness and evoke all those hated traits of the class enemy. He “becomes” the landlord or capitalist and presents his new “self” in the best possible light. This is intolerable for current Chinese critics, who argue that all characters, including the darkest villains, must be played from a proletarian viewpoint. There must never be the slightest doubt about the true colors of the actors; the theater must occupy itself with showing the class struggle in action. “If the proletariat does not turn the theater into a red revolutionary crucible, then the bourgeoisie will change it into a black and stinking dyeing vat, disseminating the ideological poison of the bourgeoisie and contaminating the ideology of the masses.”

Soviet films come in for the same treatment. Blunderbuss attacks on Soviet films strongly suggest that the Chinese critics have not had an opportunity to see what they are condemning, the giveaway coming in some variation of the clause: “such titles alone suffice to show what these movies peddle and what sort of creatures their producers are.”

One favorite theme of Chinese critics is the growing popularity of United States films in the USSR. Peking regarded the Moscow Film Festival of 1969 as “a sickening spectacle of dewy-eyed admirers standing spellbound before the altar of Western imperialist films, . . .a disgusting exhibition of the clique’s maneuver to use the junk cranked out by the bourgeois scum . . .to promote the full-scale capitalist restoration.”

Among Soviet film figures the director Grigory Chukrai shares the villainous rôle of Sholokhov among the Chinese, and for some of the same reasons. His pictures are soft on war, and besides he made the tactical error of commenting unfavorably on Chinese films in an article for the British magazine, Films and Filming, observing that “with dogmatism and logic alone the Chinese artist cannot make good films.” Taking on his best known films one by one, a Chinese critic condemned “The Forty-First” as a flimsy love story, in which “human nature overcomes class nature, and the enemies become lovers”; “Ballad of a Soldier” is really a “condemnation of war, [showing] how the anti-fascist patriotic War wrecked people’s happiness”; “The Clear Sky” is an anti-Stalin diatribe: “when Stalin dies, “the ice melts” and “the sky clears. ” ” Chukhari’s films are all revisionist, reeking of the “odor of bourgeois humanism and pacifism.”

The Soviet view of Chinese theater and film is similar to that on literature, emphasizing cultural nihilism and political subservience. By one Soviet account, “of 3,000 theatrical companies which existed until quite recently, less than ten are alive. The silence of the Chinese theater is proof of the crisis in its art, until recently extremely popular and widespread in China.” The “spectacular revolutionary plays” which have replaced the classics are artistically worthless, and are mere propaganda pieces. “The theater in China has become a primitive means of frontal propaganda for the political lines of the present leadership.”

The Soviets also react sharply to the repudiation of Stanislavsky and to the Chinese practice of casting all characters from the proletarian viewpoint. One Soviet visitor reported a shocking experience on a visit backstage in Peking: “I was looking for the actor whom we liked very much and who appeared in the rôle of a Japanese intelligence officer. Finally I discovered him at the end of the line; it turned out that he had no right to stand next to the actors appearing in positive rôles.”

Soviet critics also regret the demise of the popular theater in China.

In the old days Chinese rural areas were blessed with popular forms of art; Chinese theatrical performers would tell stories and give performances and magic shows. . . . Thousands upon thousands of native theatrical groups used to roam from village to village giving performances, but the Maoists today have wiped out the native arts the same way they have wiped out the professional arts.

The Russians have complained about the arid film fare as well. They have from time to time reeled off the titles of films showing in Peking; all feature Chairman Mao in the titles, and most are produced by his wife, Chiang Ching. Chinese documentaries are especially deplored for their anti-Soviet bias.

Impugning the merits of “Swan Lake” is for the Russians as low a blow as discrediting Mao’s poetry for the Chinese. A Red Guard penned the following reaction:

Treasured as a masterpiece by people like you and your kind, the ballet “Swan Lake” has been going on and on for decades but the performances remain the same. What can “Swan Lake” arouse in a revolutionary of this era . . .except disgust for its corrosive rôle in leading people astray into a world far removed from real life?

A presumably more mature critic in Red Flag found it to be “a cacophony of primitive dance melodies [which] can in no way compare with the elevated music being written today in China to the words of Mao Tse-tung.” The plot is as bad as the music: “Evil genius romps about the stage, suppressing everything, while devils have become the main characters! This is indeed a sinister picture of the restoration of capitalism on the stage.”

Soviet music critics weep for the fate of the Peking opera, whose rich repertory of hundreds of masterpieces has been eliminated and replaced by a handful of worthless “revolutionary model operas.” One reason the Peking opera had to go was that Mao’s henchmen felt implied threats from its Aesopian language: “in every character, in every situation, the Maoists’ sick imagination felt an allusion.” The same fate has befallen the ballet, whose ballerinas now carry rifles to attack imaginary bourgeois fortresses.

The Chinese critics are most indignant of all when it comes to popular music—specifically the Soviet surrender to the wishes of young people to hear jazz and other mod music from the West.

Disguised as “cultural co-operation,” degenerate Western music, commercialized jazz, has become the rage in the Soviet revisionist musical, dancing, and theatrical world. . . . As a result, various weird-named American and British jazz bands have performed in the Soviet Union.

The Russians could hardly be expected to defend jazz festivals, but they do counter such charges with their own broadsides against the politicization of popular music. In one commentary they noted that the stirring old songs of the Chinese revolutionary movement had been abandoned, and new words had been set to the tunes. The new lyrics “praise Mao, his current policies, and the threat of war from the Soviet Union” and are “published in all newspapers and endlessly broadcast by the radio.”

The non-Communist bystander can only react to these arguments with a certain amount of amusement, and it is not unlikely that the people on the receiving end regard them the same way. The great majority of the charges go unanswered. Aside from an occasional angry riposte resulting from wounded national pride, there is little evidence that the charges are taken very seriously. Neither government is concerned enough to put up funds for systematic jamming of the broadcasts, and while the USSR tries to prevent Chinese printed matter from coming into the country (as it does for all unfriendly materials), the Chinese have from time to time reprinted the Soviet charges with a brief editorial note asking readers to see how ridiculous they are. While each side claims a large, sympathetic audience in the other country, there is no evidence of a large number of converts.

This propaganda is to some extent intended to persuade the rest of the world (the broadcasts are usually aimed directly at the adversary in his language, but elaborate translation services turn out news releases and magazines in all major languages). Its influence cannot be measured, but the total effect must be negative, judging from the singular lack of success of each side in converting the third world. If there are impressionable Marxist-leaning leaders of the future looking to Moscow and Peking for guidance, their frustration must be equal to that of Christendom five centuries ago when two rival popes demanded allegiance.

Each country reveals something about its view of the world in this propaganda, even through the thick layers of self-righteousness and hypocrisy. The Chinese revolutionists are still in the fiery, youthful, idealistic stage, while the Russians have reached middle age and want its comforts. In some respects the Chinese are where the USSR was a quarter-century ago: many of these charges are similar to those Stalin hurled at the West. And unquestionably the USSR has softened somewhat in the last two decades; its lecturing of the Chinese on human rights and tyranny could hardly have been made in Stalin’s day. The big question is whether the Chinese have also begun to move in this direction, and there are indications of such motion in the new diplomacy and the dampening of the fires of the Cultural Revolution.

Above all, these cultural polemics add a new dimension to the proposition that the Sino-Soviet conflict is deep and fundamental. These charges are somehow more drastic and irrevocable than border disputes, which can be settled on a legal basis. The good old days of a mere twenty years ago, when cultural agreements were signed with great fanfare, when cultural troupes of every description traveled between Moscow and Peking, and the press was full of congratulations of the cultural achievements of the other, seem far removed, and not likely to return.

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Gypsy rose blanchard split from husband over arguments, guilt-tripping, gypsy rose blanchard arguments & guilt-tripping by ryan ... led to separation.

Gypsy Rose Blanchard 's post-prison fairytale with her husband came to an end last week -- and now ... we know exactly what led up to the split.

Sources with direct knowledge tell TMZ ...  Gypsy has been telling family and friends that her estranged hubby, Ryan Anderson , had become super argumentative post-prison release and was constantly making her feel like she couldn't do anything right.

We're told one of the major sticking points in Gypsy and Ryan's relationship was his apparent jealousy over her spending time with her dad -- that's what our sources say Gypsy has been telling people anyway.

Instead of supporting her bond with her father, we're told Gypsy feels like Ryan made her feel guilty about not spending that time with him exclusively.

After spending years behind bars, we're told Gypsy was eager to reconnect and build relationships with her family ... and our sources say she felt suffocated by Ryan's constant guilt-tripping. We're also now hearing Gypsy's inner circle had serious concerns about Ryan's intentions -- especially over the fact he only reached out to Gypsy on a dare.

You may recall ... Ryan previously revealed he encouraged a co-worker to write to "Tiger King" star Joe Exotic in prison by saying he'd write to Gypsy in prison as well.

Another interesting tidbit ... we're told recent rumors that Gypsy may be pregnant are not true -- if she was pregnant, she wouldn’t have gotten matching dog tattoos with her ex-fiance, Ken Urker earlier this week ... that's something our sources made clear to us.

As we reported, despite Gypsy spending a lot of time together with her ex post her split from Ryan, we've been told they're not rekindling their romance, this per Ken's own mother.

Remember ... Raina also told us Ken's intentions are pure as gold -- adding she felt Ryan was untrustworthy and doesn't care for her the way Ken does.

She says for Gypsy and Ken to potentially rekindle anything romantic, she'd need to officially divorce Ryan and close that chapter of her life. It's unclear if Gypsy will do that or not.

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Breaking Down Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher's Divorce Timeline

Sacha baron cohen and isla fisher announced they filed for divorce in 2023 after 13 years of marriage and over 20 years together..

Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher are closing a chapter. 

The couple—who were married for 13 years—announced April 5 that they had privately filed for divorce months ago. 

"After a long tennis match lasting over twenty years, we are finally putting our racquets down. In 2023 we jointly filed to end our marriage," Sacha and Isla wrote in matching April 5 Instagram stories alongside a photo of the pair donning tennis gear. "We have always prioritized our privacy, and have been quietly working through this change."

Isla, 48, and Sacha, 52, had been living out of the spotlight with their three children in Australia—where Isla grew up—since 2020, and reiterated their desire for privacy through the transition. 

"We forever share in our devotion and love our children," their statement continued. "We sincerely appreciate your respecting our family's wish for privacy."

The duo first crossed paths in the early aughts after meeting at a party in Sydney, Australia, where Sacha later recalled to the New York Times that he "instantly" knew Isla was the one for him, adding, "I don't know if she did."

Evidently, sparks flew for the Confessions of a Shopaholic star too, and Sacha popped the question in 2004. They later tied the knot in 2010, three years after welcoming their oldest daughter together. 

And in 2021, the duo appeared to still be amid marital bliss as they celebrated 20 years as a couple. 

"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart," Isla wrote in an Instagram post at the time, quoting Winnie the Pooh . "I'll stay there forever."

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The Borat alum shared the same quote, adding: "Our duration is largely due to our location—after all Hollywood is the bastion of lengthy marriages."

In 2023, Isla also shared glimpses of a few date nights from the duo—including one snap from a PDA-filled trip to Greece in August, and another of the pair posing with beers in November, calling him her "off-screen date."

Recently, however, Isla has been flying solo on public outings. In fact, one month before confirming their split, the Wedding Crashers star attended the 2024 Vanity Fair Oscars Party without Sacha on March 10.

Read on for a timeline of the former couple's relationship leading to their separation. 

Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher first met in the early aughts at a party in Sydney, Australia. 

“She was hilarious,” the Borat star told The New York Times in Oct. 2020. “We were at a very pretentious party, and me and her bonded over taking the mick out of the other people in the party. I knew instantly. I don’t know if she did.”

The duo got engaged in 2004.

"I Do"

In March 2010, the Wedding Crashers actress and the comedian tied the knot in Paris.

Growing Their Team

Isla and Sacha share three children together.

Milestone Anniversary

"20 YEARS," Isla wrote alongside a series of Instagram photos in Dec. 2021, before quoting Winnie the Pooh. "If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together keep me in your heart. I’ll stay there forever."

Breakup Announcement

"After a long tennis match lasting over twenty years," they wrote in a joint statement shared to their Instagram Stories April 5, "we are finally putting our racquets down. In 2023 we jointly filed to end our marriage."

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Divorce: Agreement or Disagreement Essay

Introduction.

According to Kuehn (4), “divorce is a legal process that ends a marriage.” Divorce can also be described as a period when families fail to overcome the major changes they experience. It is often associated with a disagreement between couples. Many people consider it an inappropriate way of solving problems. However, I completely disagree with the statement “if I were to get married, I would never consider divorce to be a viable option for any reason.” I think it is right for a couple to divorce if they think they are not compatible with each other.

Role of love in a relationship

I believe that love is the fundamental element of any serious relationship, that is why no one on earth can withstand a loveless relationship. Love makes marriages grow strong. It enables couples to share views and ideas, hence enhancing individual prosperity. On the other hand, the absence of love contributes to the deterioration of many relationships. The absence of love leads to a misunderstanding that results in a lack of communication between partners (Seiden and Billett, Chapter 2).

Evidence also points to the fact that people without affection portray uncouth behavior. For instance, people who do not love each other indulge in occasional quarrels and wars. The absence of love also makes many people avoid discussions of relationships, which affects the ability of partners to solve disagreements. Relationship discussions aid couples in learning the differences between them (Seiden and Billett Chapter 2). Thus, it is crucial for parties that do not love each other to divorce to avoid turmoil in marriage.

Antisocial behavior

It is challenging and unbearable to withstand any antisocial behavior from anyone, including the partners. I also agree with Emery Robert’s (42) argument that parental antisocial behavior contributes immensely to divorce. Occasionally, most people marry to have companions with whom they can share personal issues. However, some people tend to avoid socializing with their partners after some periods of marriage. Lack of socialization in a marriage is often associated with the discomfort that makes many married people involved in activities that may result in betrayal and exposure to some diseases.

Some marriage partners are also very secretive of their lives, aspirations, and medical conditions that may affect their union. On most occasions, lovers end up in marriages without informing their partners of their sensitive issues. Confiding in a person reluctant to share anything with his partner is dangerous since, on most occasions, it may make another party get into trouble. Thus, it is crucial for a couple that does not socialize freely to divorce.

Marriage cheating

I doubt if there is any person on this earth that can withstand cheating in marriage (Clarke-Stewart and Brentano 5). Bearing cheating of a partner in a marriage is not accepted worldwide. Cheating in marriage can result in the transmission of deadly diseases such as AIDS among partners. It leads also to the diversion of not only love but also resources as most people that cheat in marriages neglect their family responsibilities. I also believe that most cases of unfaithfulness are caused by emotional affairs. On most occasions, people who lack self-control indulge in affairs that may lead to family problems (Seiden and Billett Chapter 2).

Additionally, some people hurt their partners by expressing love and care for their former spouses. Thus, it is crucial for a person who is cheated on to seek a divorce to avoid heartbreaks and contraction of sexually transmitted diseases.

Effects of emotions

According to what takes place in many societies, it is very difficult to associate freely with emotional people. Emotional people are used to quarreling and disagreeing with everything and everyone in society. They have also a tendency of taking everything, including even jokes, very serious. On most occasions, they cannot differ jokes from personal abuse, and their habit of being too secretive also worries very much. However, most people are unaware of the emotional state of their partners as they marry them and find out about the latter after living with them for some time. Since it is difficult to stay with an emotional person as a wife or husband, it may be better for one to seek a divorce in such a case.

Difference in likes

I also believe it is very difficult for persons with different likes to stay together; the difference in likes between married individuals leads to confrontations and mental tortures. They also make married people not only perform activities differently but also disregard each other’s opinions. Thus, it may be a way-out for the parties involved to divorce in such a situation to grant themselves and their children an opportunity of advancing in life.

I know it is very difficult for any person to build a family and plan his/her future with an immature person as a spouse. Immature people are often associated with immature actions. In addition to making the wrong decisions, they also indulge in shameful activities. Immature people also love being supervised, which is an activity that is very difficult to implement. Additionally, it is very difficult to come into agreement with immature persons because of their childish decisions and opinions. If a person marries immature individual hope that his/her partner will change, he may be disappointed because, as a rule, his/her spouse may change, but he/she may not like it. Thus, such people should seek a divorce in case they cannot bear the immaturity of the partner.

It is also evident that none will tolerate having a drug abuser as a wife or a husband. Drug addicts make their families suffer from violence. Additionally, most drug addicts are hard not only to manage but also to share ideas with. Thus, it is crucial for a partner who is exposed to abuses in a family to seek divorce.

Social differences

I believe it is hard for people from different backgrounds to build a family because any family requires a solid foundation, i.e. material basis. That is why people having different social statuses may face the great challenge of accepting the differences in education, views, etc. Additionally, the family members and in-laws from a low stratum tend to be problematic. Thus, the marriage of such people may be broken by the inability to accept social differences and go through economic challenges.

In conclusion, divorce is a societal lawful process that takes place between disagreeing partners in a marriage. These differences are mainly caused by variation in ideas and likes. Loss of love, cheatings, emotions, and immaturity have also been found to trigger divorce. Most people also end up in divorce because of drug abuse and lack of communication as a result of antisocial behavior. The majority of people consider it an inappropriate way of solving marriage problems. However, most of the marriage problems are beyond human ability and owing to the reasons mentioned, I completely disagree with the topic “if I were to get married, I would never consider divorce to be a viable option for any reason.”

Works Cited

Clarke-Stewart, Alison and Cornelia Brentano. Divorce: Causes and Consequences . New York: Yale University Press, 2007. Print.

Emery, Robert E. Marriage, Divorce, and Children’s Adjustment . New York: SAGE, 1999. Print.

Kuehn, Eileen. Divorce: Finding a Place . Oklahoma City: Capstone, 2001. Print.

Seiden, Othniel, and Jane Bilett. I Got Caught Cheating – How Can I Save My Marriage? New York: Crystal Night Books. 2011. Print.

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  30. Divorce: Agreement or Disagreement

    Introduction. According to Kuehn (4), "divorce is a legal process that ends a marriage.". Divorce can also be described as a period when families fail to overcome the major changes they experience. It is often associated with a disagreement between couples. Many people consider it an inappropriate way of solving problems.