interpersonal communication self concept essay

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Chapter 2: Communication and Perception

2.3 Self Concept

Learning Objectives

• Define self-concept and discuss how we develop our self-concept.
• Define self-esteem and discuss how we develop self-esteem.
• Explain how social comparison theory and self-discrepancy theory influence self-perception.
• Discuss how social norms, family, culture, and media influence self-perception.
• Define self-presentation and discuss common self-presentation strategies.

Just as our perception of others affects how we communicate, so does our perception of ourselves. But what influences our self-perception? How much of our self is a product of our own making and how much of it is constructed based on how others react to us? How do we present ourselves to others in ways that maintain our sense of self or challenge how others see us? We will begin to answer these questions in this section as we explore self-concept, self-esteem, and self-presentation.

Self-Concept

Self-concept refers to the overall idea of who a person thinks he or she is. If I said, “Tell me who you are,” your answers would be clues as to how you see yourself, your self-concept. Each person has an overall self-concept that might be encapsulated in a short list of overarching characteristics that he or she finds important. But each person’s self-concept is also influenced by context, meaning we think differently about ourselves depending on the situation we are in. In some situations, personal characteristics, such as our abilities, personality, and other distinguishing features, will best describe who we are. You might consider yourself laid back, traditional, funny, open minded, or driven, or you might label yourself a leader or a thrill seeker. In other situations, our self-concept may be tied to group or cultural membership. For example, you might consider yourself a member of the Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity, a Southerner, or a member of the track team.

Our self-concept is also formed through our interactions with others and their reactions to us. The concept of the looking glass self explains that we see ourselves reflected in other people’s reactions to us and then form our self-concept based on how we believe other people see us. [1] This reflective process of building our self-concept is based on what other people have actually said, such as “You’re a good listener,” and other people’s actions, such as coming to you for advice. These thoughts evoke emotional responses that feed into our self-concept. For example, you may think, “I’m glad that people can count on me to listen to their problems.”

We also develop our self-concept through comparisons to other people. Social comparison theory states that we describe and evaluate ourselves in terms of how we compare to other people. Social comparisons are based on two dimensions: superiority/inferiority and similarity/difference. [2] In terms of superiority and inferiority, we evaluate characteristics like attractiveness, intelligence, athletic ability, and so on. For example, you may judge yourself to be more intelligent than your brother or less athletic than your best friend, and these judgments are incorporated into your self-concept. This process of comparison and evaluation isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it can have negative consequences if our reference group isn’t appropriate. Reference groups are the groups we use for social comparison, and they typically change based on what we are evaluating. In terms of athletic ability, many people choose unreasonable reference groups with which to engage in social comparison. If a man wants to get into better shape and starts an exercise routine, he may be discouraged by his difficulty keeping up with the aerobics instructor or running partner and judge himself as inferior, which could negatively affect his self-concept. Using as a reference group people who have only recently started a fitness program but have shown progress could help maintain a more accurate and hopefully positive self-concept.

We also engage in social comparison based on similarity and difference. Since self-concept is context specific, similarity may be desirable in some situations and difference more desirable in others. Factors like age and personality may influence whether or not we want to fit in or stand out. Although we compare ourselves to others throughout our lives, adolescent and teen years usually bring new pressure to be similar to or different from particular reference groups. Think of all the cliques in high school and how people voluntarily and involuntarily broke off into groups based on popularity, interest, culture, or grade level. Some kids in your high school probably wanted to fit in with and be similar to other people in the marching band but be different from the football players. Conversely, athletes were probably more apt to compare themselves, in terms of similar athletic ability, to other athletes rather than kids in show choir. But social comparison can be complicated by perceptual influences. As we learned earlier, we organize information based on similarity and difference, but these patterns don’t always hold true. Even though students involved in athletics and students involved in arts may seem very different, a dancer or singer may also be very athletic, perhaps even more so than a member of the football team. As with other aspects of perception, there are positive and negative consequences of social comparison.

We generally want to know where we fall in terms of ability and performance as compared to others, but what people do with this information and how it affects self-concept varies. Not all people feel they need to be at the top of the list, but some won’t stop until they get the high score on the video game or set a new school record in a track-and-field event. Some people strive to be first chair in the clarinet section of the orchestra, while another person may be content to be second chair. The education system promotes social comparison through grades and rewards such as honor rolls and dean’s lists. Although education and privacy laws prevent me from displaying each student’s grade on a test or paper for the whole class to see, I do typically report the aggregate grades, meaning the total number of As, Bs, Cs, and so on. This doesn’t violate anyone’s privacy rights, but it allows students to see where they fell in the distribution. This type of social comparison can be used as motivation. The student who was one of only three out of twenty-three to get a D on the exam knows that most of her classmates are performing better than she is, which may lead her to think, “If they can do it, I can do it.” But social comparison that isn’t reasoned can have negative effects and result in negative thoughts like “Look at how bad I did. Man, I’m stupid!” These negative thoughts can lead to negative behaviors, because we try to maintain internal consistency, meaning we act in ways that match up with our self-concept. So if the student begins to question her academic abilities and then incorporates an assessment of herself as a “bad student” into her self-concept, she may then behave in ways consistent with that, which is only going to worsen her academic performance. Additionally, a student might be comforted to learn that he isn’t the only person who got a D and then not feel the need to try to improve, since he has company. You can see in this example that evaluations we place on our self-concept can lead to cycles of thinking and acting. These cycles relate to self-esteem and self-efficacy, which are components of our self-concept.

Self-Esteem

Self-esteem refers to the judgments and evaluations we make about our self-concept. While self-concept is a broad description of the self, self-esteem is a more specifically an evaluation of the self. [3] If I again prompted you to “Tell me who you are,” and then asked you to evaluate (label as good/bad, positive/negative, desirable/undesirable) each of the things you listed about yourself, I would get clues about your self-esteem. Like self-concept, self-esteem has general and specific elements. Generally, some people are more likely to evaluate themselves positively while others are more likely to evaluate themselves negatively. [4] More specifically, our self-esteem varies across our life span and across contexts.

How we judge ourselves affects our communication and our behaviors, but not every negative or positive judgment carries the same weight. The negative evaluation of a trait that isn’t very important for our self-concept will likely not result in a loss of self-esteem. For example, I am not very good at drawing. While I appreciate drawing as an art form, I don’t consider drawing ability to be a very big part of my self-concept. If someone critiqued my drawing ability, my self-esteem wouldn’t take a big hit. I do consider myself a good teacher, however, and I have spent and continue to spend considerable time and effort on improving my knowledge of teaching and my teaching skills. If someone critiqued my teaching knowledge and/or abilities, my self-esteem would definitely be hurt. This doesn’t mean that we can’t be evaluated on something we find important. Even though teaching is very important to my self-concept, I am regularly evaluated on it. Every semester, I am evaluated by my students, and every year, I am evaluated by my dean, department chair, and colleagues. Most of that feedback is in the form of constructive criticism, which can still be difficult to receive, but when taken in the spirit of self-improvement, it is valuable and may even enhance our self-concept and self-esteem. In fact, in professional contexts, people with higher self-esteem are more likely to work harder based on negative feedback, are less negatively affected by work stress, are able to handle workplace conflict better, and are better able to work independently and solve problems. [5] Self-esteem isn’t the only factor that contributes to our self-concept; perceptions about our competence also play a role in developing our sense of self.

Self-Efficacy refers to the judgments people make about their ability to perform a task within a specific context. [6] As you can see in Figure 2.2 “Relationship between Self-Efficacy, Self-Esteem, and Self-Concept”, judgments about our self-efficacy influence our self-esteem, which influences our self-concept. The following example also illustrates these interconnections.

Pedro did a good job on his first college speech. During a meeting with his professor, Pedro indicates that he is confident going into the next speech and thinks he will do well. This skill-based assessment is an indication that Pedro has a high level of self-efficacy related to public speaking. If he does well on the speech, the praise from his classmates and professor will reinforce his self-efficacy and lead him to positively evaluate his speaking skills, which will contribute to his self-esteem. By the end of the class, Pedro likely thinks of himself as a good public speaker, which may then become an important part of his self-concept. Throughout these points of connection, it’s important to remember that self-perception affects how we communicate, behave, and perceive other things. Pedro’s increased feeling of self-efficacy may give him more confidence in his delivery, which will likely result in positive feedback that reinforces his self-perception. He may start to perceive his professor more positively since they share an interest in public speaking, and he may begin to notice other people’s speaking skills more during class presentations and public lectures. Over time, he may even start to think about changing his major to communication or pursuing career options that incorporate public speaking, which would further integrate being “a good public speaker” into his self-concept. You can hopefully see that these interconnections can create powerful positive or negative cycles. While some of this process is under our control, much of it is also shaped by the people in our lives.

The verbal and nonverbal feedback we get from people affect our feelings of self-efficacy and our self-esteem. As we saw in Pedro’s example, being given positive feedback can increase our self-efficacy, which may make us more likely to engage in a similar task in the future. [7] Obviously, negative feedback can lead to decreased self-efficacy and a declining interest in engaging with the activity again. In general, people adjust their expectations about their abilities based on feedback they get from others. Positive feedback tends to make people raise their expectations for themselves and negative feedback does the opposite, which ultimately affects behaviors and creates the cycle. When feedback from others is different from how we view ourselves, additional cycles may develop that impact self-esteem and self-concept.

Self-discrepancy theory states that people have beliefs about and expectations for their actual and potential selves that do not always match up with what they actually experience. [8] To understand this theory, we have to understand the different “selves” that make up our self-concept, which are the actual, ideal, and ought selves. The actual self consists of the attributes that you or someone else believes you actually possess. The ideal self consists of the attributes that you or someone else would like you to possess. The ought self consists of the attributes you or someone else believes you should possess.

These different selves can conflict with each other in various combinations. Discrepancies between the actual and ideal/ought selves can be motivating in some ways and prompt people to act for self-improvement. For example, if your ought self should volunteer more for the local animal shelter, then your actual self may be more inclined to do so. Discrepancies between the ideal and ought selves can be especially stressful. For example, many professional women who are also mothers have an ideal view of self that includes professional success and advancement. They may also have an ought self that includes a sense of duty and obligation to be a full-time mother. The actual self may be someone who does OK at both but doesn’t quite live up to the expectations of either. These discrepancies do not just create cognitive unease—they also lead to emotional, behavioral, and communicative changes.

When we compare the actual self to the expectations of ourselves and others, we can see particular patterns of emotional and behavioral effects. When our actual self doesn’t match up with our own ideals of self, we are not obtaining our own desires and hopes, which can lead to feelings of dejection including disappointment, dissatisfaction, and frustration. For example, if your ideal self has no credit card debt and your actual self does, you may be frustrated with your lack of financial discipline and be motivated to stick to your budget and pay off your credit card bills.

When our actual self doesn’t match up with other people’s ideals for us, we may not be obtaining significant others’ desires and hopes, which can lead to feelings of dejection including shame, embarrassment, and concern for losing the affection or approval of others. For example, if a significant other sees you as an “A” student and you get a 2.8 GPA your first year of college, then you may be embarrassed to share your grades with that person.

When our actual self doesn’t match up with what we think other people think we should obtain, we are not living up to the ought self that we think others have constructed for us, which can lead to feelings of agitation, feeling threatened, and fearing potential punishment. For example, if your parents think you should follow in their footsteps and take over the family business, but your actual self wants to go into the military, then you may be unsure of what to do and fear being isolated from the family.

Finally, when our actual self doesn’t match up with what we think we should obtain, we are not meeting what we see as our duties or obligations, which can lead to feelings of agitation including guilt, weakness, and a feeling that we have fallen short of our moral standard. [9] For example, if your ought self should volunteer more for the local animal shelter, then your actual self may be more inclined to do so due to the guilt of reading about the increasing number of animals being housed at the facility. The following is a review of the four potential discrepancies between selves:

• Actual vs. own ideals. We have an overall feeling that we are not obtaining our desires and hopes, which leads to feelings of disappointment, dissatisfaction, and frustration.
• Actual vs. others’ ideals. We have an overall feeling that we are not obtaining significant others’ desires and hopes for us, which leads to feelings of shame and embarrassment.
• Actual vs. others’ ought. We have an overall feeling that we are not meeting what others see as our duties and obligations, which leads to feelings of agitation including fear of potential punishment.
• Actual vs. own ought. We have an overall feeling that we are not meeting our duties and obligations, which can lead to a feeling that we have fallen short of our own moral standards.

Influences on Self-Concept

We have already learned that other people influence our self-concept and self-esteem. While interactions we have with individuals and groups are definitely important to consider, we must also note the influence that larger, more systemic forces have on our self-perception. Social and family influences, culture, and the media all play a role in shaping who we think we are and how we feel about ourselves. Although these are powerful socializing forces, there are ways to maintain some control over our self-perception.

Social and Family Influences

Various forces help socialize us into our respective social and cultural groups and play a powerful role in presenting us with options about who we can be. While we may like to think that our self-perception starts with a blank canvas, our perceptions are limited by our experiences and various social and cultural contexts.

Parents and peers shape our self-perceptions in positive and negative ways. Feedback that we get from significant others, which includes close family, can lead to positive views of self. [10] In the past few years, however, there has been a public discussion and debate about how much positive reinforcement people should give to others, especially children. The following questions have been raised: Do we have current and upcoming generations that have been overpraised? Is the praise given warranted? What are the positive and negative effects of praise? What is the end goal of the praise? Let’s briefly look at this discussion and its connection to self-perception.

Whether praise is warranted or not is very subjective and specific to each person and context, but in general there have been questions raised about the potential negative effects of too much praise. Motivation is the underlying force that drives us to do things. Sometimes we are intrinsically motivated, meaning we want to do something for the love of doing it or the resulting internal satisfaction. Other times we are extrinsically motivated, meaning we do something to receive a reward or avoid punishment. If you put effort into completing a short documentary for a class because you love filmmaking and editing, you have been largely motivated by intrinsic forces. If you complete the documentary because you want an “A” and know that if you fail your parents will not give you money for your spring break trip, then you are motivated by extrinsic factors. Both can, of course, effectively motivate us. Praise is a form of extrinsic reward, and if there is an actual reward associated with the praise, like money or special recognition, some people speculate that intrinsic motivation will suffer. But what’s so good about intrinsic motivation? Intrinsic motivation is more substantial and long-lasting than extrinsic motivation and can lead to the development of a work ethic and sense of pride in one’s abilities. Intrinsic motivation can move people to accomplish great things over long periods of time and be happy despite the effort and sacrifices made. Extrinsic motivation dies when the reward stops. Additionally, too much praise can lead people to have a misguided sense of their abilities. College professors who are reluctant to fail students who produce failing work may be setting those students up to be shocked when their supervisor critiques their abilities or output once they get into a professional context. [11]

There are cultural differences in the amount of praise and positive feedback that teachers and parents give their children. For example, teachers give less positive reinforcement in Japanese and Taiwanese classrooms than do teachers in US classrooms. Chinese and Kenyan parents do not regularly praise their children because they fear it may make them too individualistic, rude, or arrogant. [12] So the phenomenon of overpraising isn’t universal, and the debate over its potential effects is not resolved.

Research has also found that communication patterns develop between parents and children that are common to many verbally and physically abusive relationships. Such patterns have negative effects on a child’s self-efficacy and self-esteem. [13] As you’ll recall from our earlier discussion, attributions are links we make to identify the cause of a behavior. In the case of aggressive or abusive parents, they are not as able to distinguish between mistakes and intentional behaviors, often seeing honest mistakes as intended and reacting negatively to the child. Such parents also communicate generally negative evaluations to their child by saying, for example, “You can’t do anything right!” or “You’re a bad girl.” When children do exhibit positive behaviors, abusive parents are more likely to use external attributions that diminish the achievement of the child by saying, for example, “You only won because the other team was off their game.” In general, abusive parents have unpredictable reactions to their children’s positive and negative behavior, which creates an uncertain and often scary climate for a child that can lead to lower self-esteem and erratic or aggressive behavior. The cycles of praise and blame are just two examples of how the family as a socializing force can influence our self-perceptions. Culture also influences how we see ourselves.

How people perceive themselves varies across cultures. For example, many cultures exhibit a phenomenon known as the self-enhancement bias , meaning that we tend to emphasize our desirable qualities relative to other people. [14] But the degree to which people engage in self-enhancement varies. A review of many studies in this area found that people in Western countries such as the United States were significantly more likely to self-enhance than people in countries such as Japan. Many scholars explain this variation using a common measure of cultural variation that claims people in individualistic cultures are more likely to engage in competition and openly praise accomplishments than people in collectivistic cultures. The difference in self-enhancement has also been tied to economics, with scholars arguing that people in countries with greater income inequality are more likely to view themselves as superior to others or want to be perceived as superior to others (even if they don’t have economic wealth) in order to conform to the country’s values and norms. This holds true because countries with high levels of economic inequality, like the United States, typically value competition and the right to boast about winning or succeeding, while countries with more economic equality, like Japan, have a cultural norm of modesty. [15]

Race also plays a role in self-perception. For example, positive self-esteem and self-efficacy tend to be higher in African American adolescent girls than Caucasian girls. [16] In fact, more recent studies have discounted much of the early research on race and self-esteem that purported that African Americans of all ages have lower self-esteem than whites. Self-perception becomes more complex when we consider biracial individuals—more specifically those born to couples comprising an African American and a white parent. [17] In such cases, it is challenging for biracial individuals to embrace both of their heritages, and social comparison becomes more difficult due to diverse and sometimes conflicting reference groups. Since many biracial individuals identify as and are considered African American by society, living and working within a black community can help foster more positive self-perceptions in these biracial individuals. Such a community offers a more nurturing environment and a buffer zone from racist attitudes but simultaneously distances biracial individuals from their white identity. Conversely, immersion into a predominantly white community and separation from a black community can lead biracial individuals to internalize negative views of people of color and perhaps develop a sense of inferiority. Gender intersects with culture and biracial identity to create different experiences and challenges for biracial men and women. Biracial men have more difficulty accepting their potential occupational limits, especially if they have white fathers, and biracial women have difficulty accepting their black features, such as hair and facial features. All these challenges lead to a sense of being marginalized from both ethnic groups and interfere in the development of positive self-esteem and a stable self-concept.

There are some general differences in terms of gender and self-perception that relate to self-concept, self-efficacy, and envisioning ideal selves. As with any cultural differences, these are generalizations that have been supported by research, but they do not represent all individuals within a group. Regarding self-concept, men are more likely to describe themselves in terms of their group membership, and women are more likely to include references to relationships in their self-descriptions. For example, a man may note that he is a Tarheel fan, a boat enthusiast, or a member of the Rotary Club, and a woman may note that she is a mother of two or a loyal friend.

Regarding self-efficacy, men tend to have higher perceptions of self-efficacy than women. [18] In terms of actual and ideal selves, men and women in a variety of countries both described their ideal self as more masculine. [19] As was noted earlier, gender differences are interesting to study but are very often exaggerated beyond the actual variations. Socialization and internalization of societal norms for gender differences accounts for much more of our perceived differences than do innate or natural differences between genders. These gender norms may be explicitly stated—for example, a mother may say to her son, “Boys don’t play with dolls”—or they may be more implicit, with girls being encouraged to pursue historically feminine professions like teaching or nursing without others actually stating the expectation.

The representations we see in the media affect our self-perception. The vast majority of media images include idealized representations of attractiveness. Despite the fact that the images of people we see in glossy magazines and on movie screens are not typically what we see when we look at the people around us in a classroom, at work, or at the grocery store, many of us continue to hold ourselves to an unrealistic standard of beauty and attractiveness. Movies, magazines, and television shows are filled with beautiful people, and less attractive actors, when they are present in the media, are typically portrayed as the butt of jokes, villains, or only as background extras. [20] Aside from overall attractiveness, the media also offers narrow representations of acceptable body weight.

Researchers have found that only 12 percent of prime-time characters are overweight, which is dramatically less than the national statistics for obesity among the actual US population. [21] Further, an analysis of how weight is discussed on prime-time sitcoms found that heavier female characters were often the targets of negative comments and jokes that audience members responded to with laughter. Conversely, positive comments about women’s bodies were related to their thinness. In short, the heavier the character, the more negative the comments, and the thinner the character, the more positive the comments. The same researchers analyzed sitcoms for content regarding male characters’ weight and found that although comments regarding their weight were made, they were fewer in number and not as negative, ultimately supporting the notion that overweight male characters are more accepted in media than overweight female characters. Much more attention has been paid in recent years to the potential negative effects of such narrow media representations. The following “Getting Critical” box explores the role of media in the construction of body image.

In terms of self-concept, media representations offer us guidance on what is acceptable or unacceptable and valued or not valued in our society. Mediated messages, in general, reinforce cultural stereotypes related to race, gender, age, sexual orientation, ability, and class. People from historically marginalized groups must look much harder than those in the dominant groups to find positive representations of their identities in media. As a critical thinker, it is important to question media messages and to examine who is included and who is excluded.

Advertising in particular encourages people to engage in social comparison, regularly communicating to us that we are inferior because we lack a certain product or that we need to change some aspect of our life to keep up with and be similar to others. For example, for many years advertising targeted to women instilled in them a fear of having a dirty house, selling them products that promised to keep their house clean, make their family happy, and impress their friends and neighbors. Now messages tell us to fear becoming old or unattractive, selling products to keep our skin tight and clear, which will in turn make us happy and popular.

Examples – “Getting Critical”

Body Image and Self-Concept

Take a look at any magazine, television show, or movie and you will most likely see very beautiful people. When you look around you in your daily life, there are likely not as many glamorous and gorgeous people. Scholars and media critics have critiqued this discrepancy for decades because it has contributed to many social issues and public health issues ranging from body dysmorphic disorder, to eating disorders, to lowered self-esteem.

Much of the media is driven by advertising, and the business of media has been to perpetuate a “culture of lack.” [22] This means that we are constantly told, via mediated images, that we lack something. In short, advertisements often tell us we don’t have enough money, enough beauty, or enough material possessions. Over the past few decades, women’s bodies in the media have gotten smaller and thinner, while men’s bodies have gotten bigger and more muscular. At the same time, the US population has become dramatically more obese. As research shows that men and women are becoming more and more dissatisfied with their bodies, which ultimately affects their self-concept and self-esteem, health and beauty product lines proliferate and cosmetic surgeries and other types of enhancements become more and more popular. From young children to older adults, people are becoming more aware of and oftentimes unhappy with their bodies, which results in a variety of self-perception problems.

• How do you think the media influences your self-perception and body image?
• Describe the typical man that is portrayed in the media. Describe the typical woman that is portrayed in the media. What impressions do these typical bodies make on others? What are the potential positive and negative effects of the way the media portrays the human body?
• Find an example of an “atypical” body represented in the media (a magazine, TV show, or movie). Is this person presented in a positive, negative, or neutral way? Why do you think this person was chosen?

Self-Presentation

How we perceive ourselves manifests in how we present ourselves to others. Self-presentation is the process of strategically concealing or revealing personal information in order to influence others’ perceptions. [23] We engage in this process daily and for different reasons. Although people occasionally intentionally deceive others in the process of self-presentation, in general we try to make a good impression while still remaining authentic. Since self-presentation helps meet our instrumental, relational, and identity needs, we stand to lose quite a bit if we are caught intentionally misrepresenting ourselves. In May of 2012, Yahoo!’s CEO resigned after it became known that he stated on official documents that he had two college degrees when he actually only had one. In a similar incident, a woman who had long served as the dean of admissions for the prestigious Massachusetts Institute of Technology was dismissed from her position after it was learned that she had only attended one year of college and had falsely indicated she had a bachelor’s and master’s degree. [24] Such incidents clearly show that although people can get away with such false self-presentation for a while, the eventual consequences of being found out are dire. As communicators, we sometimes engage in more subtle forms of inauthentic self-presentation. For example, a person may state or imply that they know more about a subject or situation than they actually do in order to seem smart or “in the loop.” During a speech, a speaker works on a polished and competent delivery to distract from a lack of substantive content. These cases of strategic self-presentation may not ever be found out, but communicators should still avoid them as they do not live up to the standards of ethical communication.

Consciously and competently engaging in self-presentation can have benefits because we can provide others with a more positive and accurate picture of who we are. People who are skilled at impression management are typically more engaging and confident, which allows others to pick up on more cues from which to form impressions. [25] Being a skilled self-presenter draws on many of the practices used by competent communicators, including becoming a higher self-monitor. When self-presentation skills and self-monitoring skills combine, communicators can simultaneously monitor their own expressions, the reaction of others, and the situational and social context. [26] Sometimes people get help with their self-presentation. Although most people can’t afford or wouldn’t think of hiring an image consultant, some people have started generously donating their self-presentation expertise to help others. Many people who have been riding the tough job market for a year or more get discouraged and may consider giving up on their job search. Now a project called “Style Me Hired” has started offering free makeovers to jobless people in order to offer them new motivation and help them make favorable impressions and hopefully get a job offer. [27]

There are two main types of self-presentation: prosocial and self-serving. [28] Prosocial self-presentation entails behaviors that present a person as a role model and make a person more likable and attractive. For example, a supervisor may call on her employees to uphold high standards for business ethics, model that behavior in her own actions, and compliment others when they exemplify those standards. Self-serving self-presentation entails behaviors that present a person as highly skilled, willing to challenge others, and someone not to be messed with. For example, a supervisor may publicly take credit for the accomplishments of others or publicly critique an employee who failed to meet a particular standard. In summary, prosocial strategies are aimed at benefiting others, while self-serving strategies benefit the self at the expense of others.

In general, we strive to present a public image that matches up with our self-concept, but we can also use self-presentation strategies to enhance our self-concept. [29] When we present ourselves in order to evoke a positive evaluative response, we are engaging in self-enhancement. In the pursuit of self-enhancement, a person might try to be as appealing as possible in a particular area or with a particular person to gain feedback that will enhance one’s self-esteem. For example, a singer might train and practice for weeks before singing in front of a well-respected vocal coach but not invest as much effort in preparing to sing in front of friends. Although positive feedback from friends is beneficial, positive feedback from an experienced singer could enhance a person’s self-concept. Self-enhancement can be productive and achieved competently, or it can be used inappropriately. Using self-enhancement behaviors just to gain the approval of others or out of self-centeredness may lead people to communicate in ways that are perceived as phony or overbearing and end up making an unfavorable impression. [30]

Examples – “Getting Plugged In”

Self-Presentation Online: Social Media, Digital Trails, and Your Reputation

Although social networking has long been a way to keep in touch with friends and colleagues, the advent of social media has made the process of making connections and those all-important first impressions much more complex. Just looking at Facebook as an example, we can clearly see that the very acts of constructing a profile, posting status updates, “liking” certain things, and sharing various information via Facebook features and apps is self-presentation. [31] People also form impressions based on the number of friends we have and the photos and posts that other people tag us in. All this information floating around can be difficult to manage. So how do we manage the impressions we make digitally given that there is a permanent record?

Research shows that people overall engage in positive and honest self-presentation on Facebook. [32] Since people know how visible the information they post is, they may choose to only reveal things they think will form favorable impressions. But the mediated nature of Facebook also leads some people to disclose more personal information than they might otherwise in such a public or semipublic forum. These hyperpersonal disclosures run the risk of forming negative impressions based on who sees them. In general, the ease of digital communication, not just on Facebook, has presented new challenges for our self-control and information management. Sending someone a sexually provocative image used to take some effort before the age of digital cameras, but now “sexting” an explicit photo only takes a few seconds. So people who would have likely not engaged in such behavior before are more tempted to now, and it is the desire to present oneself as desirable or cool that leads people to send photos they may later regret. [33] In fact, new technology in the form of apps is trying to give people a little more control over the exchange of digital information. An iPhone app called “Snapchat” allows users to send photos that will only be visible for a few seconds. Although this isn’t a guaranteed safety net, the demand for such apps is increasing, which illustrates the point that we all now leave digital trails of information that can be useful in terms of our self-presentation but can also create new challenges in terms of managing the information floating around from which others may form impressions of us.

• What impressions do you want people to form of you based on the information they can see on your Facebook page?
• Have you ever used social media or the Internet to do “research” on a person? What things would you find favorable and unfavorable?
• Do you have any guidelines you follow regarding what information about yourself you will put online or not? If so, what are they? If not, why?

Key Takeaways

• Our self-concept is the overall idea of who we think we are. It is developed through our interactions with others and through social comparison that allows us to compare our beliefs and behaviors to others.
• Our self-esteem is based on the evaluations and judgments we make about various characteristics of our self-concept. It is developed through an assessment and evaluation of our various skills and abilities, known as self-efficacy, and through a comparison and evaluation of who we are, who we would like to be, and who we should be (self-discrepancy theory).
• Social comparison theory and self-discrepancy theory affect our self-concept and self-esteem because through comparison with others and comparison of our actual, ideal, and ought selves we make judgments about who we are and our self-worth. These judgments then affect how we communicate and behave.
• Socializing forces like family, culture, and media affect our self-perception because they give us feedback on who we are. This feedback can be evaluated positively or negatively and can lead to positive or negative patterns that influence our self-perception and then our communication.
• Self-presentation refers to the process of strategically concealing and/or revealing personal information in order to influence others’ perceptions. Prosocial self-presentation is intended to benefit others and self-serving self-presentation is intended to benefit the self at the expense of others. People also engage in self-enhancement, which is a self-presentation strategy by which people intentionally seek out positive evaluations.
• Make a list of characteristics that describe who you are (your self-concept). After looking at the list, see if you can come up with a few words that summarize the list to narrow in on the key features of your self-concept. Go back over the first list and evaluate each characteristic, for example noting whether it is something you do well/poorly, something that is good/bad, positive/negative, desirable/undesirable. Is the overall list more positive or more negative? After doing these exercises, what have you learned about your self-concept and self-esteem?
• Discuss at least one time in which you had a discrepancy or tension between two of the three selves described by self-discrepancy theory (the actual, ideal, and ought selves). What effect did this discrepancy have on your self-concept and/or self-esteem?
• Take one of the socializing forces discussed (family, culture, or media) and identify at least one positive and one negative influence that it/they have had on your self-concept and/or self-esteem.
• Getting integrated: Discuss some ways that you might strategically engage in self-presentation to influence the impressions of others in an academic, a professional, a personal, and a civic context.
• Charles Cooley, Human Nature and the Social Order (New York, NY: Scribner, 1902). ↵
• Owen Hargie, Skilled Interpersonal Interaction: Research, Theory, and Practice (London: Routledge, 2011), 261. ↵
• Barbara M. Byrne, Measuring Self-Concept across the Life Span: Issues and Instrumentation (Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 1996), 5. ↵
• Joel Brockner, Self-Esteem at Work (Lexington, MA: Lexington Books, 1988), 11. ↵
• Joel Brockner, Self-Esteem at Work (Lexington, MA: Lexington Books, 1988), 2. ↵
• Albert Bandura, Self-Efficacy: The Exercise of Control (New York, NY: W. H. Freeman, 1997). ↵
• Owen Hargie, Skilled Interpersonal Interaction: Research, Theory, and Practice (London: Routledge, 2011), 99. ↵
• E. Tory Higgins, “Self-Discrepancy: A Theory Relating Self and Affect,” Psychological Review 94, no. 3 (1987): 320–21. ↵
• E. Tory Higgins, “Self-Discrepancy: A Theory Relating Self and Affect,” Psychological Review 94, no. 3 (1987): 322–23. ↵
• Owen Hargie, Skilled Interpersonal Interaction: Research, Theory, and Practice (London: Routledge, 2011), 105–7. ↵
• Anna Wierzbicka, “The English Expressions Good Boy and Good Girl and Cultural Models of Child Rearing,” Culture and Psychology 10, no. 3 (2004): 251–78. ↵
• Wendy Morgan and Steven R. Wilson, “Explaining Child Abuse as a Lack of Safe Ground,” in The Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication, eds. Brian H. Spitzberg and William R. Cupach (Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 2007), 341. ↵
• Steve Loughnan et al., “Economic Inequality Is Linked to Biased Self-Perception,” Psychological Science 22, no. 10 (2011): 1254. ↵
• Steve Loughnan et al., “Economic Inequality Is Linked to Biased Self-Perception,” Psychological Science 22, no. 10 (2011): 1257. ↵
• Michelle B. Stockton et al., “Self-Perception and Body Image Associations with Body Mass Index among 8–10-Year-Old African American Girls,” Journal of Pediatric Psychology 34, no. 10 (2009): 1144. ↵
• Dorcas D. Bowles, “Biracial Identity: Children Born to African-American and White Couples,” Clinical Social Work Journal 21, no. 4 (1993): 418–22. ↵
• Owen Hargie, Skilled Interpersonal Interaction: Research, Theory, and Practice (London: Routledge, 2011), 105. ↵
• Deborah L. Best and Jennifer J. Thomas, “Cultural Diversity and Cross-Cultural Perspectives,” in The Psychology of Gender, 2nd ed., eds. Alice H. Eagly, Anne E. Beall, and Robert J. Sternberg (New York, NY: Guilford Press, 2004), 296–327. ↵
• Gordon L. Patzer, Looks: Why They Matter More than You Ever Imagined (New York, NY: AMACOM, 2008), 147. ↵
• Gordon L. Patzer, Looks: Why They Matter More than You Ever Imagined (New York, NY: AMACOM, 2008), 147–48. ↵
• Shari L. Dworkin and Faye Linda Wachs, Body Panic (New York, NY: New York University Press, 2009), 2. ↵
• Lauren J. Human et al., “Your Best Self Helps Reveal Your True Self: Positive Self-Presentation Leads to More Accurate Personality Impressions,” Social Psychological and Personality Sciences 3, no. 1 (2012): 23. ↵
• Lauren Webber and Melissa Korn, “ Yahoo’s CEO among Many Notable Resume Flaps, ” Wall Street Journal Blogs, May 7, 2012. ↵
• Lauren J. Human et al., “Your Best Self Helps Reveal Your True Self: Positive Self-Presentation Leads to More Accurate Personality Impressions,” Social Psychological and Personality Sciences 3, no. 1 (2012): 27. ↵
• John J. Sosik, Bruce J. Avolio, and Dong I. Jung, “Beneath the Mask: Examining the Relationship of Self-Presentation Attributes and Impression Management to Charismatic Leadership,” The Leadership Quarterly 13 (2002): 217. ↵
• “ Style Me Hired ,” accessed June 6, 2012. ↵
• Owen Hargie, Skilled Interpersonal Interaction: Research, Theory, and Practice (London: Routledge, 2011), 99–100. ↵
• John J. Sosik, Bruce J. Avolio, and Dong I. Jung, “Beneath the Mask: Examining the Relationship of Self-Presentation Attributes and Impression Management to Charismatic Leadership,” The Leadership Quarterly 13 (2002): 236. ↵
• Junghyun Kim and Jong-Eun Roselyn Lee, “The Facebook Paths to Happiness: Effects of the Number of Facebook Friends and Self-Presentation on Subjective Well-Being,” Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking 14, no. 6 (2011): 360. ↵
• Natalie DiBlasio, “ Demand for Photo-Erasing iPhone App Heats up Sexting Debate ,” USA Today, May 7, 2012, accessed June 6, 2012. ↵

The judgments and evaluations we make about our self-concept.

A concept that explains that we see ourselves reflected in other people’s reactions to us and then form our self-concept based on how we believe other people see us.

Theory that explains how we describe and evaluate ourselves in terms of how we compare to other people.

The judgments people make about their ability to perform a task within a specific context.

Theory that explains that people have beliefs about and expectations for their actual and potential selves that do not always match up with what they actually experience.

Self that consists of the attributes that you or someone else believes you actually possess.

Self that consists of the attributes that you or someone else would like you to possess.

Self that consists of the attributes you or someone else believes you should possess.

Self-presentation bias that refers to our tendency to emphasize our desirable qualities.

The process of strategically concealing or revealing personal information in order to influence others’ perceptions.

Strategically exhibiting behaviors that present a person as a role model and make a person more likable and attractive.

Strategically exhibiting behaviors that present a person as highly skilled, willing to challenge others, and someone not to be messed with.

Interpersonal Communication Textbook by [author removed at the request of original publisher] is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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Interpersonal Communication, Self-Concept & Perception Essay

Inter-personal communication is vital in job requirements since most organizational problems are traced back to communication breakdown. Poor communication or lack of communication within the organizational environment and workplace contributes to poor performance and deterioration of an organization (Myers, Seibold and Park, 2011). The principles of communication help offer an understanding of the basic aspects of communication and aid in developing and adjusting the basic communication skills.

Principles of Interpersonal Communication

One of the principles that can support a new employee is “Communication is irreversible,” which means one cannot undo whatever message one conveys (DeVito, 2019). For instance, when in an argument with a person, you say something that hurt someone. The fact that communication is irreversible means that once something is said, the words become part of the relationship. As a new employee, communication should remain positive and aimed at building relationships. This is because we cannot retrieve or take back information, whether it was intended or not. Another principle is “Communication is Contextual,” which follows a bidirectional transfer of information among parties (DeVito, 2019). Therefore, the employee should be aware of the environmental, relational, and cultural context of exchange.

Another principle of communication that can support a new employee is “Communication is inevitable.” This means that communication has to take place, whether non-verbal or verbal (DeVito, 2019). This principle influences how people communicate and maintain relationships since even if one does not want to communicate, they can have unconscious communication, which impacts interaction. The new employees can focus on enhancing their verbal and non-verbal communication, thus facilitating better interaction.

Self-Concept

Self–concept is how you perceive abilities, behavior, and unique characteristics. Being aware of oneself means having a concept of oneself. Self-concept develops and grows based on knowledge about oneself, such as personality traits (DeVito, 2019). For instance, the belief that I am a good person is part of an overall self-concept. Therefore, self-concept comes from a combination of experiences and personality traits that one lived through. The more we know about our characteristics, feelings, beliefs, and values, the better we understand ourselves.

Self-concept influences attitude, perception, and behavior which can be illustrated through the interpersonal communication ((Myers, Seibold and Park, 2011). The beliefs and feelings that one has can affect how one understands the information and influence their response. Ideally, during communication, the parties involved are full of expectations, hopes, fears, and doubts, which impact communication among the parties. Therefore, self-concept directly impacts interpersonal communication, which means there is a need to pay attention to the tone of voice and words that indicate how we feel about others.

Perception is the interpretation of information to understand and represent information. Relatively, perception is a set of processes used to make sense out of something we are present with. An individual’s perception is grounded on how we interpret various sensations (DeVito, 2019). Therefore, this allows the taking of information and interpreting it to something we can categorize. Perception allows an individual to form impressions of others.

Perception influences interpersonal communication since communication is a manner of expression that allows conveying feelings, thoughts, and desires and giving feedback. Ideally, perceptions tend to influence an individuals’ non-verbal and verbal behaviors when around others ((Myers, Seibold and Park, 2011). Communication and interaction with others are based on impressions of others. The ongoing process of communicating and judging others can have a lasting impact on interpersonal communication and behavior.

Interpersonal communication allows exchange of information between two or more parties. Effective interpersonal communication is guided by principles that impact interaction. The principles of interpersonal communication affect personal and professional relationship. Perception and self-concept are vital in interpersonal communication process since they influence an individual’s behavior, feelings and attitudes during communication and response. It’s important to on the entire process of exchanging information to improve on interaction.

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2.1: Self-Concept, Self-Esteem and Self-Efficacy

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• Victoria Leonard
• College of the Canyons

Self-Concept

Self-concept refers to the overall idea of who a person thinks he or she is.  If I said, “Tell me who you are,” your answers would be clues as to how you see yourself,  your self-concept. Each person has an overall self-concept that might be encapsulated in a short list of overarching characteristics that he or she finds important. But each person’s self-concept is also influenced by context, meaning we think differently about ourselves depending on the situation we are in. In some situations, personal characteristics, such as our abilities, personality, and other distinguishing features, will best describe who we are. You might consider yourself laid back, traditional, funny, open minded, or driven, or you might label yourself a leader or a thrill seeker. In other situations, our self-concept may be tied to group or cultural membership. For example, you might consider yourself a member of the Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity, or a member of the track team.

Our self-concept is also formed through our interactions with others and their reactions to us. The concept of the looking glass self explains that we see ourselves reflected in other people’s reactions to us and then form our self-concept based on how we believe other people see us. 1 This reflective process of building our self-concept is based on what other people have actually said, such as “You’re a good listener,” and other people’s actions, such as coming to you for advice. These thoughts evoke emotional responses that feed into our self-concept. For example, you may think, “I’m glad that people can count on me to listen to their problems.”

We also develop our self-concept through comparisons to other people. Social comparison theory states that we describe and evaluate ourselves in terms of how we compare to other people. Social comparisons are based on two dimensions: superiority/ inferiority and similarity/ difference . 2

In terms of superiority and inferiority , we evaluate characteristics like attractiveness, intelligence, athletic ability, and so on.  For example, you may judge yourself to be more intelligent than your brother or less athletic than your best friend, and these judgments are incorporated into your self-concept. This process of comparison and evaluation isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it can have negative consequences if our reference group isn’t appropriate. Reference groups are the groups we use for social comparison, and they typically change based on what we are evaluating. In terms of athletic ability, many people choose unreasonable reference groups with which to engage in social comparison. If a man wants to get into better shape and starts an exercise routine, he may be discouraged by his difficulty keeping up with the aerobics instructor or running partner and judge himself as inferior, which could negatively affect his self-concept. Using as a reference group people who have only recently started a fitness program but have shown progress could help maintain a more accurate and hopefully positive self-concept.

We also engage in social comparison based on similarity and difference . Since self- concept is context specific, similarity may be desirable in some situations and difference more desirable in others. Factors like age and personality may influence whether or not we want to fit in or stand out. Although we compare ourselves to others throughout our lives, adolescent and teen years usually bring new pressure to be similar to or different from particular reference groups. Think of all the cliques in high school and how people voluntarily and involuntarily broke off into groups based on popularity, interest, culture, or grade level. Some kids in your high school probably wanted to fit in with and be similar to other people in the marching band but be different from the football players. Conversely, athletes were probably more apt to compare themselves, in terms of similar athletic ability, to other athletes rather than kids in show choir. But social comparison can be complicated by perceptual influences. As we learned earlier, we organize information based on similarity and difference, but these patterns don’t always hold true. Even though students involved in athletics and students involved in arts may seem very  different, a dancer or singer may also be very athletic, perhaps even more so than a member of the football team. There are positive and negative consequences of social comparison.

We generally want to know where we fall in terms of ability and performance as compared to others, but what people do with this information and how it affects self-concept varies. Not all people feel they need to be at the top of the list, but some won’t stop until they get the high score on the video game or set a new school record in a track-and-field event. Some people strive to be first chair in the clarinet section of the orchestra, while another person may be content to be second chair. The education system promotes social comparison through grades and rewards  such as honor rolls and dean’s lists. Although education and privacy laws prevent me from displaying each student’s grade on a test or paper for the whole class to see, I do typically report the aggregate grades, meaning the total number of As, Bs, Cs, and so on. This doesn’t violate anyone’s privacy rights, but it allows students to see where they fell in the distribution. This type of social comparison can be used as motivation. The student who was one of only three out of twenty-three to get a D on the exam knows that most of her classmates are performing better than she is, which may lead her to think, “If they can do it, I can do it.” But social comparison that isn’t reasoned can have negative effects and result in negative thoughts like “Look at how bad I did. Man, I’m stupid!” These negative thoughts can lead to negative behaviors, because we try to maintain internal consistency, meaning we act in ways that match up with our self-concept. So if the student begins to question her academic abilities and then incorporates an assessment of herself as a “bad student” into her self-concept, she may then behave in ways consistent with that, which is only going to worsen her academic performance. Additionally, a student might be comforted to learn that he isn’t the only person who got a D and then not feel the need to try to improve, since he has company. You can see in this example that evaluations we place on our self-concept can lead to cycles of thinking and acting. These cycles relate to self-esteem and self-efficacy, which are components of our self-concept.

Self-Esteem

Self-esteem refers to the judgments and evaluations we make about our self- concept. While self-concept is a broad description of the self, self-esteem is a more specifically an evaluation of the self. 3 If I again prompted you to “Tell me who you are,” and then asked you to evaluate (label as good/bad, positive/negative, desirable/undesirable) each of the things you listed about yourself, I would get clues about your self- esteem. Like self-concept, self-esteem has general and specific elements. Generally, some people are more likely to evaluate themselves positively while others are more likely to evaluate themselves negatively. 4 More specifically, our self-esteem varies across our life span and across contexts.

How we judge ourselves affects our communication and our behaviors, but not every negative or positive judgment carries the same weight. The negative evaluation of a trait that isn’t very important for our self-concept will likely not result in a loss of self-esteem. For example, I am not very good at drawing. While I appreciate drawing as an art form, I don’t consider drawing ability to be a very big part of my self-concept. If someone critiqued my drawing ability, my self-esteem wouldn’t take a big hit. I do consider myself a good teacher, however, and I have spent and continue to spend considerable time and effort on improving my knowledge of teaching and my teaching skills. If someone critiqued my teaching knowledge and/or abilities, my self-esteem would definitely be hurt. This doesn’t mean that we can’t be evaluated on something we find important. Even though teaching is very important to my self-concept, I am regularly evaluated on it. Periodically I am evaluated by my students, my dean, and my colleagues.  Most of that  feedback is in the form of praise and constructive criticism, (which can still be difficult to receive), but when taken in the spirit of self-improvement, it is valuable and may even enhance our self- concept and self-esteem. In fact, in professional contexts, people with higher self- esteem are more likely to work harder based on negative feedback, are less negatively affected by work stress, are able to handle workplace conflict better, and are better able to work independently and solve problems. 5 Self-esteem isn’t the only factor that contributes to our self-concept; perceptions about our competence also play a role in developing our sense of self.

Self-Efficacy refers to the judgments people make about their ability to perform a task within a specific context. 6 As you can see in Figure \(\PageIndex{1}\) "Relationship between Self-Efficacy, Self-Esteem, and Self-Concept", judgments about our self- efficacy influence our self-esteem, which influences our self-concept. The following example also illustrates these interconnections.

Pedro did a good job on his first college speech. During a meeting with his professor, Pedro indicates that he is confident going into the next speech and thinks he will do well. This skill-based assessment is an indication that Pedro has a high level of self-efficacy related to public speaking. If he does well on the speech, the praise from his classmates and professor will reinforce his self-efficacy and lead him to positively evaluate his speaking skills, which will contribute to his self- esteem. By the end of the class, Pedro likely thinks of himself as a good public speaker, which may then become an important part of his self-concept. Throughout these points of connection, it’s important to remember that self-perception affects how we communicate, behave, and perceive other things. Pedro’s increased feeling of self-efficacy may give him more confidence in his delivery, which will likely result in positive feedback that reinforces his self-perception. He may start to perceive his professor more positively since they share an interest in public speaking, and he may begin to notice other people’s speaking skills more during class presentations and public lectures. Over time, he may even start to think about changing his major to communication or pursuing career options that incorporate public speaking, which would further integrate being “a good public speaker” into his self-concept. You can hopefully see that these interconnections can create powerful positive or negative cycles. While some of this process is under our control, much of it is also shaped by the people in our lives.

The verbal and nonverbal feedback we get from people affect our feelings of self- efficacy and our self-esteem. As we saw in Pedro’s example, being given positive feedback can increase our self-efficacy, which may make us more likely to engage in a similar task in the future. 7 Obviously, negative feedback can lead to decreased self-efficacy and a declining interest in engaging with the activity again. In general, people adjust their expectations about their abilities based on feedback they get from others. Positive feedback tends to make people raise their expectations for themselves and negative feedback does the opposite, which ultimately affects behaviors and creates the cycle. When feedback from others is different from how we view ourselves, additional cycles may develop that impact self-esteem and self-concept.

• Charles Cooley, Human Nature and the Social Order (New York, NY: Scribner, 1902).
• Owen Hargie, Skilled Interpersonal Interaction: Research, Theory, and Practice (London: Routledge, 2011), 261.
• Barbara M. Byrne, Measuring Self-Concept across the Life Span: Issues and Instrumentation (Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 1996), 5.
• Joel Brockner, Self-Esteem at Work (Lexington, MA: Lexington Books, 1988), 11.
• Joel Brockner, Self-Esteem at Work (Lexington, MA: Lexington Books, 1988), 2.
• Albert Bandura, Self-Efficacy: The Exercise of Control (New York, NY: W. H. Freeman, 1997).
• Owen Hargie, Skilled Interpersonal Interaction: Research, Theory, and Practice (London: Routledge, 2011), 99.

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Interpersonal and Communication Skills: Self-Concept and Perception of Others Essay

“Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly.” These words came from Epictetus, a famous Greek Stoic philosopher in the first century B.C. It was not uncommon for Greeks during that time to concern themselves with finding answers as to who they are. This concept of knowing oneself is aptly summed up in an ancient Greek aphorism “Know thyself.”

But how can one really know himself? Is there really an accurate perception of oneself? How may the perception of others affect our own perception of ourselves?

Many psychologists say that our self-perception has an effect on how others perceive us. But others say that there is a gap between how we view ourselves and how others judge us.

Adnan and Adnan (2002) in their book Social Personality and Behavior mentioned three factors that may affect one’s perception of self and how this perception may affect the perception of others. These are: self-monitor, self-esteem, and self-evaluation of own personalities. These three factors were found to have direct correlation with the positive effect on self-perception and on the impression of others. Carlin Flora (2005) mentioned in her article Metaperceptions: How do you view yourself ? Professor William Swan’s research which concludes that people with negative concepts about themselves tend to make others evaluate them negatively.

However, studies show that there is a gap between how we judge ourselves and how others see us on certain aspects of our life. A study done on the gap between self-perception and the impression of others concluded that “individuals see their personality traits in a more favorable way than others see them in terms of anxiety and introversion.” (Adnan & Adnan, 2002, p. 150).

To examine the relationship of my self-perception and the impression of others about me, I did self-evaluation on my interpersonal skills and communication style using two questionnaires for each. Afterwards, I asked my spouse and two acquaintances to answer the same questionnaires. For the interpersonal skills evaluation, I used R.B. Hill’s (1992) self-administered questionnaire (See Appendix A) and I used the informal survey format of Tony Alessandra and Michael J. O’Connor (1996) for the communication style evaluation (See Appendix B).

For the interpersonal skills evaluation, my spouse’s evaluation of me did not differ much from my own evaluation of myself. But in evaluating my communication style, there is a gap between our perceptions. On the other hand, I found that my acquaintances’ evaluation of both my interpersonal skills and communication style was not so different from my self-evaluation.

Using the communication style inventory of Alessandra and O’Connor (1996), I rated myself as being “open to getting to know people personally and establishing relationships with them” while my spouse said otherwise. My acquaintances’ evaluation of me on this aspect is the same with my self-evaluation. At first glance, I can understand why my spouse evaluated me as such. He may have in mind my behavior particularly when I am with his family (issues with in-laws!). In making decisions, my husband described me as being guided by emotions and feelings whereas my acquaintances described me as being guided by facts or evidence. I see my ideal as an objective decision-maker so I rated myself as such which was reflected in my acquaintances’ impression of me on this aspect. My self-concept did not influence my spouse’s impression of me because I may have acted unguarded with regards to succumbing to my emotions on many occasions when I was with my spouse.

From this and other similar evaluations, I have concluded that the impression of others about my communication style and interpersonal skills depend on how my self-perception influence their impression of me. This “influence” is explained in the self-presentational theory which “stipulates that people express their ideas and judgments about self in ways designed to create a favorable impression that aims to avoid looking foolish or inconsistent in front of others” (Adnan & Adnan, 2002, p. 150). Susan Losh (2001) in her lecture on Social Psychology said that “most of us try to influence the impressions others hold of us by using self-presentation and impression management tactics.” This influence, however, may be diminished as the relationship gets more intimate. Here enters the social interaction dimension.

The Johari window effectively describes human interaction. In the model, there are four quadrants: 1) the public area; 2) the hidden area; 3) the unknown area; and 4) the private area.

The public area contains things that are openly known to ourselves and the others. The hidden area contains things that the others know but we do not. The unknown area contains things that we, as well as the others, do not know. The private area contains things that we know but we hide from the others. (Chimaera, 1999, p. 1)

Our self-perception may greatly influence the perception of “others” in the first quadrant since they are limited to things that we let them know about us. We can thus have greater control over their impression of us. These people may include people we meet in the park, our clients, our university professors, and the like.

The “others” who fall in the second quadrant are those that may not be easily influenced by our self-perception. Since they are aware of our behaviours that may not be known to us, there may be a gap between their impression of us and our self-perception. The most typical persons that would fall in this category are members of our immediate family such as our parents, siblings, spouse, and children.

My spouse’s evaluation of me is based on a greater knowledge of my behavior and personality. There are things about me that I may not let my friends or colleagues know to preserve a certain ideal and to reinforce the favorable impression they have about me. This may be because of certain agenda such as keeping a job. However, my relationship with my spouse is different. I may have certain ideals of a good mate but because of physical and emotional proximity, I may unconsciously exhibit traits with my husband which I would be keen enough to control when I am around other people.

I have learned some basic truths from this informal survey. First, I was able to understand that there is a strong relationship between what I would like to be and its effect on the impression of others about me. This can explained by the self-presentation theory. Second, I learned that the influence of my self-concept to the impression of others diminishes as the relationship gets more intimate. This can be explained by the human interaction model, the Johari Window. “Others” who fall within the “hidden area” quadrant are those that are likely less influenced by our self-concept.

It is thus important to get occasional feedback from other people with regards to our interpersonal skills and communication style to be able to have a more thorough understanding of our “self.” It is also worth noting that the degree of our self-perception depends greatly on our willingness to accept evaluation from others especially by people who are more aware of our personality, traits, and behaviour.

Understanding who we are is as complex as understanding processes in human interaction. This is why there have been conflicting theories proposed by social scientists and psychologists regarding understanding the “self”. However, I believe that we do not need to be able to explain everything that is involved in this process of getting to know the “self.” What is more important is to be aware of traits within ourselves that will strengthen and positively affect our relationship with others.

(Taken from R.B. Hill’s Interpersonal Skills Questionnaire, 1995)

For each statement listed below, rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 for each of the items. A rating of 10 would indicate that the statement is always true and a rating of 1 would indicate that it is never true.

• I always say please and thank you when I ask someone for something.
• The clothes I wear would never offend another person.
• If something bad happens to someone I don’t like, I tell my friends and laugh about it when that person is not around.
• I never curse or use offensive language in public places.
• My hair is clean and well groomed.
• People who know me would describe me as cheerful and friendly.
• I always have good posture.
• When I talk with someone, I look them in the eyes.
• I keep my fingernails clean and nicely trimmed.
• I usually become angry and lose my temper when things don’t go the way I want them to.
• When other people do something different from the way I would do it, I avoid being critical of them.
• I don’t bite my fingernails.
• When I sneeze or cough, I always cover my mouth.
• My table manners are very good.
• If someone gives me a gift or does me a favor, I send them a thank you note.

(Taken from Tony Alessandra and Michael J. O’Connor’s The Platinum Role, 1996)

Communications style inventory

This is an informal survey, designed to determine how you usually act in everyday

related situations. The idea is to get a clear description of how you see yourself.

On the answer sheet, circle A or B in each pair of statements below, which shows

the one that MOST, describes you.

• I’m not usually open to getting to know people personally and establishing relationships with them.
• I usually react quickly and spontaneously.
• I’m usually open to other people’s use of my time.
• I usually wait for others to introduce themselves to me at social gatherings.
• I usually focus my conversations on the tasks, issues, business, or subject at hand.
• I’m usually assertive, and at times I can be impatient with a slow pace.
• I usually make decisions based on feelings , experiences or relationships.
• I usually contribute infrequently to group conversations.
• I usually prefer to work with and through others, providing support when
• I usually prefer to work independently or dictate the conditions in terms of how others are involved.
• I usually make empathic statements or directly expressed opinions.
• I usually focus primarily on persons, interactions, and feelings.
• I usually do not use gestures, facial expressions, and voice intonations to emphasize points
• I usually don’t accept others’ points of view (ideas, feelings, and concerns)
• I usually respond to risk and change in dynamic or unpredictable manner.
• I usually find it natural and easy to share and discuss my feelings with others.
• I usually choose known or similar situations and relationships.
• I’m usually directed toward my own agendas, interests and concerns.
• I usually respond to conflict quickly and directly.

Works Cited

Adnan, F and Adnan, A. 2002. Social Behavior and Personality . Irbid, Jordan: Yarmouk University. pp. 149-156.

Alessandra, T. and O’Connor MJ. 1996. Communication Style Inventory. The Platinum Role. New York: Warner Books.

Doyle, T. 2005. Self-presentation. The Interpersonal Web at Northern Virginia Community College . Web.

Duen, HY. 1999. Johari Window . .

Falikowski, A. 2002. Mastering Human Relations. 3 rd Edition.

Ferguson, TJ. 2004. The Social Self. Chapter 3. Lecture on Social Psychology , Utah State University. Web .

Flora, C. 2005. Metaperceptions: How do you view yourself?. Psychology Today.

Hill, RB. 1995. Interpersonal Skills Questionnaire. On-Line Lessons. Department of Workforce Education, Leadership, & Social Foundations . The University of Georgia; Athens, GA. Web.

Johari Window . Chimaera Consulting Ltd. 1999. Web.

Losh, SC. 2001. Theories of Social Psychology. Lecture Notes. Florida State University .

• Chicago (A-D)
• Chicago (N-B)

IvyPanda. (2022, August 16). Interpersonal and Communication Skills: Self-Concept and Perception of Others. https://ivypanda.com/essays/interpersonal-and-communication-skills-self-concept-and-perception-of-others/

"Interpersonal and Communication Skills: Self-Concept and Perception of Others." IvyPanda , 16 Aug. 2022, ivypanda.com/essays/interpersonal-and-communication-skills-self-concept-and-perception-of-others/.

IvyPanda . (2022) 'Interpersonal and Communication Skills: Self-Concept and Perception of Others'. 16 August.

IvyPanda . 2022. "Interpersonal and Communication Skills: Self-Concept and Perception of Others." August 16, 2022. https://ivypanda.com/essays/interpersonal-and-communication-skills-self-concept-and-perception-of-others/.

1. IvyPanda . "Interpersonal and Communication Skills: Self-Concept and Perception of Others." August 16, 2022. https://ivypanda.com/essays/interpersonal-and-communication-skills-self-concept-and-perception-of-others/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "Interpersonal and Communication Skills: Self-Concept and Perception of Others." August 16, 2022. https://ivypanda.com/essays/interpersonal-and-communication-skills-self-concept-and-perception-of-others/.

• What is a Self-Concept?
• Self-Concept Theory and Trait Theory
• Science of Solitary Confinement vs. Self-Concept
• Self-Evaluation of Students' Achievements
• Aspects of Self-Concept Essay
• Communication Process: Self-Awerness and Self-Concept
• Self Concept and Self Esteem in Interpersonal Communication
• Time Perspective and Physical Self-concept
• The Role of Self-Concept in Cross-Cultural Communication
• Dimensions of the Self-Concept
• Face Recognition Technology Analysis
• Authority in the Art and Science of Persuasion
• Psychological Art and Science of Persuasion
• The Art, Science, and Psychology of Persuasion
• Art, Science, and Psychological Principles of Persuasion

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• Chapter 3: Identity and Interpersonal Communication

Chapter 3 Identity and Interpersonal Communication

Self-concept refers to the knowledge individuals have about themselves, which is shaped and expressed through interpersonal communication. This chapter describes the characteristics of the self and the various sources of self-knowledge. In addition, the chapter examines identity as a multi-layered understanding of the self and investigates the potential causes and consequences of identity gaps. The challenges of identity formation during emerging adulthood and identity change during later life stages are also addressed. This chapter also provides suggestions for strengthening interpersonal communication skills to express a coherent identity and support multiple identities. The ethics of communicating identity and supporting minority identities are also discussed.

How Do You Rate? Assessments

Communication in action forms, connect with theory.

The hyperpersonal model suggests that the exchange of messages via computer-mediated communication (CMC) offers a host of advantages in impression formation over traditional face-to-face interaction. In the CMC environment, people have more control over how they present themselves compared to face-to-face interaction. The asynchronous nature of text-based CMC, such as texting, e-mail, and instant messaging, where communication does not happen in real time gives people the opportunity to thoughtfully write, edit, and send messages. According to the hyperpersonal model, CMC allows people to put their best digital foot forward and to engage in strategic impression management to convey optimal self-presentation. For example, when creating an online dating profile, you may put up a professionally edited photo, include a positive description of yourself, or highlight fun interests and hobbies to appear attractive. In addition, the model suggests that individuals tend to idealize one another when forming impressions of other people in a CMC context. So, if you think that a person you are talking to via CMC seems attractive, nice, and funny, you are likely to exaggerate how awesome that person is. Antheunis and colleagues (2020), for example, found that text-based CMC conversation produced an idealized impression of a potential dating partner, which led to attraction in a speed dating session. In essence, the hyperpersonal model offers a conceptual framework for understanding potential advantages unique to CMC in impression formation.

References and other suggested readings:

Hecht (1993) introduced communication theory of identity to clarify how identities are formed and enacted through communication. The theory suggests that individuals possess four distinct yet interdependent layers of identity. The personal layer of identity is about how people perceive themselves or the personal characteristics they have. In an event where people ask you to describe yourself, you may think that your personal layer consists of a hard working college student, a caring friend, a natural leader, or a loving sibling. The enactment layer of identity refers to the qualities people project through verbal and nonverbal styles of communication. For example, different regions of the United States have distinct dialects and accents, and people often enact their cultural identity by embracing their unique accent, dialect, or vocabulary (e.g., saying “Y’all” in the South). The relational layer of identity is developed through personal relationships with other people. Our identity is defined by the type of relationship we have (e.g., parent, romantic partner, boss) and is shaped by how others see us (i.e., they can help or hurt our identity that we wish to present). The communal layer of identity emerges out of groups or networks we belong to (e.g., cultural groups, ethnic groups, religious groups, professional organizations). People learn about their identity through group memberships. For example, for many people from the United States, individualism is at the core of their identity, and thus, people are likely to ascribe to qualities that define this particular cultural group, such as independence, self-reliance, and outspokenness. One application of the theory has been used to understand how refugees make sense of, enact, and renegotiate their identity during adjustment to a new host country (Bergquist et al., 2019). Kam and Hecht (2009) examined the role of identity in grandparent-grandchild relationship and found that when young-adult grandchildren perceive that they are sociable and talkative (personal layer) but are quiet in front of their grandparents (enacted frame), they are more likely to engage in topic avoidance and be less satisfied with their communication and relationship with grandparents. The theory provides a framework for understanding social behavior as a function of identity through communication.

Selected Writings by Communication Studies majors at California State Prison

Los angeles county, city of lancaster.

In the fall of 2016, the Department of Communication Studies at California State University, Los Angeles, began offering classes inside a maximum security prison facility to offer incarcerated persons the opportunity to achieve a bachelor’s degree in Communication. In spring of 2017, selected assignments and essays produced by those students in response to prompts from this textbook were published in Colloquy: A Journal of the Department of Communication Studies, California State University, Los Angeles. In the time since, the program created The Prison BA Journal to share the students’ work with others. In addition, collaboration between the Lancaster State Prison’s Communication Studies students and students in Cal State LA’s Animation Option brought to life student essays through animation and narration.

Dr. Kamran Afary, faculty advisor to the program and Assistant Professor of Social Justice Communication, describes the impact of learning about interpersonal communication on his students: “I have seen its life transforming effect on my students in their interpersonal relationships with each other and in repairing relationships with their families.” Through the generosity of the program, we can share their work with all students learning from this textbook.

This website shares reflections and animations created in response to Pause and Reflect prompts, organized by chapter, as well as selected essays, poems, and presentations that address other topics or course assignments. Here is just a sample of what you will find: https://vimeo.com/showcase/7155653

We hope you will take the time to learn about interpersonal communication through the words of these students: https://www.prisonbajournal.org/ipccompanion

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Interpersonal Communication: A Mindful Approach to Relationships

(12 reviews)

Jason S. Wrench, State University of New York

Narissra M. Punyanunt-Carter, Texas Tech University

Katherine S. Thweatt, State University of New York

Copyright Year: 2020

Last Update: 2023

ISBN 13: 9781942341772

Publisher: Milne Open Textbooks

Language: English

Formats Available

Conditions of use.

Learn more about reviews.

Reviewed by Jinnie Jeon, Assistant Professor, Adler University on 5/30/23

N/A read more

Comprehensiveness rating: 5 see less

Content Accuracy rating: 5

Relevance/Longevity rating: 5

Clarity rating: 5

Consistency rating: 5

Modularity rating: 5

Organization/Structure/Flow rating: 5

Interface rating: 5

Grammatical Errors rating: 5

Cultural Relevance rating: 5

“Interpersonal Communication: A Mindful Approach to Relationships” by Jason S. Wrench, Narissa M. Punyanunt-Carter, and Katherine S. Thweatt is a truly illuminating journey into the depths of human interaction. A cutting-edge book written in an engraining and accessible style, it expertly blends theoretical foundations with practical applications, encouraging readers not just to understand but also to implement the principles of effective communication. The author’s unique focus on mindfulness, a concept rarely emphasized in similar literature, provides a fresh perspective and an essential tool for nurturing and enhancing relationships in today’s fast-paced, technology-driven world. This approach enables readers to become more present and thoughtful communicators. Despite the intricacies of the subject matter, the text remains approachable and practical, enriched by real-life examples and exercises that promote self-reflection. The original cover art by Melinda Ahan adds a touch of beauty and uniqueness to this enlightening piece of work. Overall, the book stands as a seminal text for anyone seeking to improve their interpersonal communication skills, from students to professionals and beyond.

Reviewed by Dana Trunnell, Associate Professor of Communication, Prairie State College on 3/15/23

This text covers interpersonal communication concepts and theory in extraordinary detail with the added bonus of weaving mindfulness into each topic. If anything, I find the chapters to be almost too long for undergraduate reading expectations.... read more

This text covers interpersonal communication concepts and theory in extraordinary detail with the added bonus of weaving mindfulness into each topic. If anything, I find the chapters to be almost too long for undergraduate reading expectations. That said, the mindfulness approach, along with the care taken to cover topics from multiple perspectives is appreciated. One especially great resource is the accompanying instructor resource manual, which is very detailed, updated, and helpful. It is not the afterthought that some OER textbooks provide. I would like to see more coverage of LGBTQIA+ issues.

The text is accurate, without grammatical and proofreading errors. I do think the text can be rather repetitive in spots, so word economy might be something to think about for future revisions and editions.

Interpersonal Communication is a timeless discipline and the text reflects this disciplinary longevity. I find the mindfulness approach to be an important update as the mindfulness trend establishes itself into a more long-term approach to thinking about relationships, communication, and life, in general. But, the text should be updated to be more aware and inclusive of emerging norms in race, LGBTQIA+, and sociopolitical issues.

Clarity rating: 4

Information is presented in an easy-to-read format and concepts are explained clearly. As I mentioned above, at times, the text can be pretty repetitive, which affects readability.

The content in this text is consistent with the approaches of for-profit volumes on Interpersonal Communication.

I like that this text displays the full chapter when one clicks on the link instead of only one subsection of that chapter. So, students can read the entire chapter from one link without having to scroll through other pages using navigational tools. I have found that the latter is very confusing to students, who might read only the first subsection and not the entire chapter. These links can easily be incorporated into an LMS module for easy access. In addition, each chapter is organized consistently, beginning with introductory information about each unit. The chapters are divided by major topics/concepts and each division includes Learning Objectives, Key Takeaways, and application Exercises. Time is devoted in each chapter to the application of the mindfulness approach as it relates to the topic of study. Chapters end with a list of important terms, a case study, and end-of-chapter assessments.

The content flowed well with transitions linking the chapters. I think the ordering of the chapters made sense. I also think it makes sense to organize them completely differently. The beauty of interpersonal communication is that it is so important and pervasive in our lives that we can jump in anywhere and get the discussion started. I do think, however, it is easy to adapt the flow of the text to any class – titular notions of “Chapter 1,” “Chapter 2,” etc. mean less with an electronic resource that is linked to LMS modules than a physical book.

Interface rating: 4

The textbook is easy to use and easy to navigate as it uses the consistent approach of other texts housed in the Open Textbook Library. Chapters are consistently organized and it is easy to move throughout the text. I love that hyperlinks are provided so students can access referenced surveys, measures, and other supplementary material. Unfortunately, some of these are dead links.

I did not encounter grammatical errors as I read.

Cultural Relevance rating: 3

The book acknowledges the importance of cultural factors as they influence various parts of the interpersonal communication process. However, the text would benefit from an update that helps students navigate the current communication climate, especially as they relate to current issues associated with race, sociopolitical events, and LGBTQIA+ people.

This text is particularly good for introductory-level interpersonal communication students. Instructors who value mindfulness as a daily practice will find this text especially suitable for their teaching style. New instructors will be impressed and feel supported by the extensive ancillary material.

Reviewed by Beth Austin, Assistant Teaching Professor, University of Wisconsin - Superior on 9/23/22

This book covers all the relevant material covered in a typical textbook on interpersonal communication. read more

This book covers all the relevant material covered in a typical textbook on interpersonal communication.

After briefly looking through the book and with publisher and the authors' credentials, I am confident in the accuracy of the content.

This text was published in 2020 and the images, research, and mindfulness angle are still relevant. Only time will tell the reception that mindfulness receives over the years.

This book is easy to read and contains foundational jargon for the discipline.

The text is internally consistent in terms of terminology and framework.

The page layout of this book provides the reader with captivating images which provide reading breaks. The infographics are colorful and visually dynamic.

The flow and structure of this book follow the table of contents for many other interpersonal communication texts.

This book is user-friendly and easy on the eyes.

I did not find any grammatical errors in this book.

I did not see any evidence of insensitive or offensive material in the book.

Chapter 14: The Darkside of Interpersonal Communication provides information about which many undergraduate students may relate.

Reviewed by Riley Richards, Assistant Professor, Oregon Institute of Technology on 8/22/22

This book offers a unique perspective on IPC, particularly through its mindfulness lens. Through this lens, it covers the standard and expected major ideas needed to cover in an IPC class and is covered in other IPC textbooks. The information... read more

This book offers a unique perspective on IPC, particularly through its mindfulness lens. Through this lens, it covers the standard and expected major ideas needed to cover in an IPC class and is covered in other IPC textbooks. The information covered and how it is presented (i.e., readability) are fit for undergraduate students in an introductory or standalone IPC course. Areas of content that stand out in this text, compared to other IPC texts, are the chapters on mediated communication and especially the dark side of IPC. Additionally, emotions through the lens of mindfulness are discussed throughout the text while other IPC texts lump the connection between emotion and communication into a section or chapter. From an instructor standpoint, I especially appreciated the authors explaining how research findings were found (i.e., methodology) instead of simply providing the student with the information and a citation through the research spotlight sections. My only minor critique is the family and marriage relationship chapter. The marriage portion albeit limited is related to family but also seemed out of place in the text. A standalone chapter on romantic/sexual relationships seems like a natural next step in the next edition. Also, instructors can easily substitute this section for other material. Finally, the additional materials (e.g., Ted Talk, YouTube videos) provide accessible material for a student who may wish to learn more in-depth information or prefer information through different mediums.

The authors did well in balancing the breadth and depth of the subject within each chapter and across the book. I did not find parts or the sum of the parts to be biased or inaccurate.

As of this review, the content is up to date across the board from current research findings to the inclusion of seminal research and examples of concepts (e.g., COVID-19) that students can relate to. Additionally, the text is written (also through its license) in such a way that other instructors can freely expand on the authors’ examples or go in and make their own. Finally, I believe the lens of mindfulness to be around and relatable for quite some time based on national data about Generation Z coming through university doors for at least the next few decades.

The text was clear. The authors do a good job clearly defining and calling the reader’s attention to major ideas before going in-depth into the concept. The real-world case study included at the end of every chapter and its prompted thinking questions (which could easily be in-class discussion questions) is helpful for readers to consider key ideas in contexts immediately after reading the chapter.

The text keeps consistent and uses terminology as it was originally defined/discussed and is consistent with the larger IPC literature.

The text is clearly divided into chapters and sections within chapters. Instructors can easily use standalone chapters and/or add/remove sections within chapters to meet their pedagogy needs. The text is not overly self-referential, and a new reader would not need to read chapters in order. However, the reader would be best to have some background to IPC (i.e., chapters 1-3) before reading how the material applies in specific contexts.

The chapters are logically ordered and run in order similar to most IPC texts (i.e., I did not have to change my course vary much when transitioning to a new text). Each chapter opens with clear learning outcomes and ends with a reminder of the key terms and supplies the reader with a means to immediately apply the content through case studies, quizzes, and personality tests.

Overall, there were no major issues. Few exceptions such as a table going over onto the next page, textbox, or section header breaking apart sentences in the same paragraph (e.g., “end of chapter” in chapter 12). These few exceptions do not take away from the content being covered.

In my read through I found no major issues. I also offered my students extra credit to find errors (aids their writing) and they did not find any issues either.

The text was neither culturally insensitive nor offensive. The examples provided vary across genders, sexes, sexualities, races, and ethnicities. This is especially true in the culture chapter.

Overall, I strongly recommend this text to others. This is my first time using and reviewing an OER. I have used it for one summer term so far but plan to continue to use it in the future. No textbook is perfect for our individual needs, we all teach differently. However, the beauty of the author’s choice of license allows each of us to use the text differently. Thus, as the years go on, I will continue to pick and choose and supplement where I need to based on my curriculum and learning outcomes.

Reviewed by Abby Zegers, Correctional Education Coordinator, Des Moines Area Community College on 11/17/21

This text is incredibly comprehensive to the point that I feel that it could possibly be two texts or classes, depending on how much time you had. Each chapter dives relatively deep into its topic and not only is it visually appealing with up to... read more

This text is incredibly comprehensive to the point that I feel that it could possibly be two texts or classes, depending on how much time you had. Each chapter dives relatively deep into its topic and not only is it visually appealing with up to date charts, graphs and pictures, the downloadable version has hyperlinks to directly take the student to a certain inventory that the chapter is utilizing as a supplement. I found this to be really engaging. The text has a separate instructor manual which is incredibly useful with all of the materials, power points, quizzes and other necessary information needed to instruct this class. There is a glossary at the end of the text. No index was available which in my opinion would be helpful simply due to the fact that many topics/subjects or inferences are utilized throughout the chapters and not necessarily in the one devoted to that topic.

I found the content to be accurate and free from bias. I noticed only a few grammatical errors but content was incredibly accurate and up to date with references cited appropriately throughout.

Interpersonal communication is a topic that holds relevance and longevity as many things stay the same however the authors did an excellent job with current communication topics such as Chapter 12 devoted to Interpersonal Communication in Mediated Contexts. This is a topic I spend a great deal of time on with my classes as it is so current and relative to their lives right now. I think that this information will change in the future however the content available now on the topic will remain relevant as “history”. I found value in the links to different personality tests or activities that were relevant to the topic at hand and appreciated that they were available so easily as students are more likely to click a link rather than jot down something they might look up later.

I found this text to be very elaborate into many topics relating to interpersonal communication and the extensive glossary was very helpful. The supplemental activities and videos presented are a wonderful way to apply what is approached in each lesson. The text uses a “mindfulness” approach which might be a new concept to some however I think it’s a great way to see the value and importance of the topic.

I found no issues with consistency. Each chapter is laid out the same with Learning Outcomes identified in each section, exercises that could be great journal activities or discussions, key takeaways, a chapter wrap up including key terms used, a real world case study and a quiz followed by references. It is consistent throughout the text and a great way to appeal to different types of learners.

The way this text is set up allows for one to jump around if need be however; the beginning focuses more on history and theory which in itself is important along with communication models. This in itself could almost be its own text with the depth the authors go to in the material along with the abundance of activities and self-assessments allowing the reading to analyze their own styles creates a nice foundation to continue into the material. For my own classes, I would never have enough time to get through this text and give it the attention that it deserves so the ability to pick and choose topics and chapters relative to today is really an attractive part of it for me.

I think this text flows very well and much of the material from the beginning builds upon itself. The chapters are in appropriate order with building content however; it is beneficial that an instructor could pick and choose different areas they wanted to focus on without losing too much. The text ends with Chapter 13 being Interpersonal Relationships at Work and Chapter 14 being The Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication and I feel that these were appropriate choices to wrap up the text with.

I loved the ability to read through this text in electronic format and the hyperlinks were incredibly helpful and I had no issues with connectivity to sources. Images were clear and loaded as they should. I printed off a copy of the text and there were no formatting issues in doing so. I feel that utilizing the hard copy method or downloading the pdf version are both great options to have that appease different types of learners.

There were a few minor grammatical errors here and there but nothing that distracted me or was relative enough that I documented it. I felt like it was very well written and edited.

There is a specific chapter dedicated to Cultural and Environmental Factors in Interpersonal Communication however; references to cultural and gender issues are spread throughout and I feel like the information is inclusive.

Overall, I found this text to be a really great OER and am using pieces of it for my classes. I appreciate a text that appeals to many different styles of learners with text, videos, interactive quizzes and assessment and slides. So much material is available and covered and I find many sections of this to be useful in a few different classes that I teach. I am thankful to have found this text and look forward to continuing to use it.

Reviewed by Jennifer Adams, Professor, DePauw University on 11/13/21

This book is lengthy, and each chapter contains more good content than I expected. There are chapters on each topic you would expect (although organized somewhat differently than most of the popular print textbooks in this discipline). For... read more

Comprehensiveness rating: 4 see less

This book is lengthy, and each chapter contains more good content than I expected. There are chapters on each topic you would expect (although organized somewhat differently than most of the popular print textbooks in this discipline). For example, the information on perception is mostly in chapter 3, but some info about the topic was found across two other chapters (and attribution theory is not really included at all). There is no specific chapter on emotion, but there is content about it throughout. Furthermore, something that was somewhat new to me was incorporating the idea of "mindfulness" along with competence to understand communication processes. There is a chapter on technology that I think is growing in importance. This book doesn't really push the envelope on considering issues of identity like race or gender, but there is a good chapter on culture (and I would say that is also true of many for-profit books). The sections on relational communication are really thorough and give a good range or ideas and theories for each different relational experience. While the organization was slightly different than the book I was used to using (the Floyd text), I was able to find all of my content normally covered somewhere in this textbook.

I found no errors in this textbook that I have found aside from minor typos or a few strange sentences. The content is accurate and attributed to the correct sources. There is a lengthy and useful reference list.

This book includes all of the theories and concepts that I have been teaching for two decades. Their examples are really useful. One thing I did notice is that a lot of space is taken up by quizzes or activities - things like personality tests. I don't really use those in any way, but I do wonder if those types of things might be trendy - I don't know that or sure, but I didn't use them. I do think that the focus on "mindfulness" is something that is popular now that has not been in the past, but I certainly hope that the value in mindfulness doesn't trend away any time soon. I really thought that the book was up to date and see no reason it can't be updated relatively easily.

This book is comparable to the popular for-profit interpersonal communication textbooks that are available. It is addressed to the reader, and it is easy to read. It does introduce new terminology and concepts , but these are always defined clearly. At the end of every chapter, there is a 'take-away" section that includes key-terms, so there is the ability to look those up outside of the basic text as well. There are activities at the end of each chapter as well, to help develop.

Yes, the entire book is about interpersonal communication and it does not diverge from topics covered in the popular for-profit books. I didn't find any inconsistencies in the way that the material is presented. In fact, the opposite is true: their focus on "mindfulness" as a skill that can be developed holds each chapter together, so that there is not just information about the important ideas and theories, there is also a constant reflection on the values of mindfulness as it relates to all of the topics (and relationship types) that are covered.

This is really well organized. The book is divided into chapters, and each chapter is divided into subsections that have numbered placement within the chapter and headings throughout. (For example, chapter seven materials are divided into 7.1, 7.2, 7.3, etc). If you didn't want to assign the entire book, you could easily pick sections here and there to use (and you can save only those sections as PDFs to insert on your syllabus or organizing platforms).

Organization/Structure/Flow rating: 4

The book is not organized like my class was, but it wasn't a major deal and I simply hoped around a bit. So, for example, I thought that the chapter on culture should come sooner than chapter 6, perhaps before verbal and nonverbal communication. I also wasn't sure that some of the content in chapter 7 called "Talking and Listening" was placed well there - it seemed redundant in some ways, but some info (like social penetration theory or the johari window) seem like they should be in an earlier chapter about perception. That being said, these concerns are ultimately very minor - the content I expected was there, and I could assign page #s for specific sections that I needed to address at different times in the semester. I did not use this book chronologically from chapter 1 to the end, but that has been true for for-profit books I have used in the past, too. I found the chronology to be good.

I used this book in the fall of 2021, and recommended that all students download the PDF version, which is what I primarily use. The book's TOC is hyperlinked, and so you can easily find the content you are looking for and click to go to the relevant sections. When I do keyword searches for specific theories or concepts, they come up easily without error. It's easy to use and the layout is professional and attractive (pictures and images come through formatted correctly, charts and graphs look clear).

This book is well written. Aside from a few typos here and there, I didn't find lots of problems with readability. It's not perfect; for example, sometimes where there are bullet points, they are not written in a parallel style, or something like that which might be noticeable, but that was pretty infrequent. The writing is clear and correct.

Cultural Relevance rating: 4

There is nothing offensive that I found in this book. The book includes examples and ideas that are inclusive or race, ethnicity and gender. There is an entire chapter on cultural communication, so it does present information about cross-cultural differences and communication. I would like to see more about gender and more explicitly about race, but some of that content IS here (I just find myself spending more time on this every semester, but I must use supplemental material on topics such as white fragility or privilege and how that impacts interpersonal communication).

Although I hate the price of textbooks, I have been hesitant to use open source materials in the past due to a perceived lesser quality. This book has changed my mind. It isn't perfect, but it saves students 50-100 dollars, and the information that they purchase isn't perfect either. This book presents as professional, and it reads that way as well. Of course, I supplement this book with popular readings and examples, but almost all of the academic content I needed was in this book. I do recommend it.

Reviewed by Joseph Nicola, Professor, Century College on 10/6/21

The text provides a very detailed and granular index and glossary. Very helpful when planning lessons and homework readings. The text is hyperlinked from the index/glossary making it helpful for students. Presents a good explanation of the many... read more

The text provides a very detailed and granular index and glossary. Very helpful when planning lessons and homework readings. The text is hyperlinked from the index/glossary making it helpful for students. Presents a good explanation of the many important aspects of the communication discipline.

Content is accurate, error-free and unbiased. Does a fair job at covering the large content scope of Interpersonal Comm subject manner. Does not address some popular content covered in an undergrad course on the subject. However the text does provide a nice foundation for class lecture and discussion. Sources are referenced at the end of every chapter.

Relevance/Longevity rating: 4

Content is up-to-date, but not in a way that will quickly make the text obsolete within a short period of time. The text is written and/or arranged in such a way that necessary updates will be relatively easy and straightforward to implement.

The text clearly covers the basic principles of the large content subject matter. Does a fare job a covering basic principles that are foundational for the discipline.

The subject of gender identity is not greatly covered. Terms within the LGBTQIA are briefly mentioned but not explained further. A future edition would benefit from this addition.

Good concordance and glossary of terms with page numbers. Easy to read and follow. Has “Key Takeaways” and End of Chapter “Exercises at the end of each chapter. For the most part, the text adequately covers the material needed.

Yes. It appears consistent throughout.

This is a well organized text. That does a fair job at covering that large foundational scope of interpersonal communication. Has “Key Takeaways” and "End of Chapter Exercises" at the end of each chapter.are very nice for class activities and discussion.

Text is organized very well.

Good text and well interfaced. Easy to navigate.

Text is well written with clear paragraphs, bullet points and formatted topic headings. No errors found.

The text does devote a large amount of content to explaining the importance of cultural awareness for being a competent communicator. Provides a good starting foundation to start with class lectures and class discussion. Graphics do depict a diverse student population which is nice to see that intention. Some content that could be added on: *It should be noted that the important subject topic of gender identity is not greatly covered with this text. Terms within the LGBTQIA are briefly mentioned but not explained further. *Only briefly mentioned the importance of Emotional Intelligence but lacks in content and key terms within the subject and practical examples.

The subject of gender identity is not greatly covered. Terms within the LGBTQ+ are briefly mentioned but not explained further. Well designed and layout with some minimal graphics and color-coated topic headings. There could be more for a future printing. Offers some personality and perspective assessment activities that would serve as a good chapter activity.

Reviewed by Aditi Paul, Assistant Professor, Pace University on 8/13/21

The authors do a really good job at covering a variety of introductory, foundational, and contemporary topics pertaining to interpersonal communication. read more

The authors do a really good job at covering a variety of introductory, foundational, and contemporary topics pertaining to interpersonal communication.

Content Accuracy rating: 3

The authors do a good job of laying the foundation of the importance of mindfulness in interpersonal communication. However, the discussion surrounding mindfulness and how it should be integrated into different aspects of interpersonal communication was less than thorough. Mindfulness almost came as an afterthought rather than being weaved into the main material in most chapters.

The importance of mindfulness in interpersonal communication is a highly relevant topic, especially in today's age where most of our communication over digital media has become primarily mindless. The authors also do a good job at including new and relevant topics such as body positivity in non-verbal communication, computer-mediated communication apprehension, internet infidelity, and postmodern friendships.

The text was very clear and easy to follow.

Consistency rating: 3

As mentioned earlier, the lack of consistency was evident in the discussion of mindfulness. The authors introduce mindfulness in terms of "attention, intention, and attitude" in the first chapter. But in the rest of the chapters, especially chapter 5 onward, the conversation around mindfulness dwindles.

The modularity of the book was good.

The organization of the book was good. The only critique I would have is the placement of the chapter on culture and interpersonal communication. I would have preferred that topic to be introduced earlier than chapter 6 since a lot of our verbal and non-verbal communication is colored by culture.

The interface of the book was good.

The grammar of the book was good.

The book was culturally sensitive. It included sexually and culturally marginalized groups into the conversation.

Reviewed by Rebecca Oldham, Assistant Professor, Middle Tennessee State University on 5/20/21

This textbook provides a thorough introduction to communication studies. It covers multiple important theories, seminal research, major concepts, and practical suggestions for improving communication. The instructor guide includes many helpful... read more

This textbook provides a thorough introduction to communication studies. It covers multiple important theories, seminal research, major concepts, and practical suggestions for improving communication. The instructor guide includes many helpful tools, including chapter outlines, presentation slides, in-class activities, practice quiz questions, and links to TEDTalks and YouTube example videos from recent popular films and TV shows. It also comes with a student workbook. This textbook has as many, if not more, supplemental materials as a traditional textbook.

However, some sections of the book could be expounded upon with future revisions. For example, I would have expected to see more variety of research about on marriage beyond Fitzpatricks typologies (e.g., John Gottman's research or references to other romantic relationship research). Other topics I would like to see in future revisions are (1) the rhetorical triangle and (2) the elaboration likelihood model.

However, the comphrehensiveness is still such that instructors additions to this textbook for curriculum would merely be supplemental.

This textbook uses a mixture of seminal and recent research to review major topics of interpersonal communication to supports accuracy. When relevant, the authors describe research studies and methods, not just the findings, which enhances students' science and information literacy.

The textbook is written with up-to-date research and references to recent culture and political issues from the past year (e.g., COVID-19, political polarization). References to mediated communication are very up-to-date, with the exception of TikTok not being mention. The instructor's manual provides excellent examples of concepts in recent popular TV and film that students are sure to enjoy because they are not out-dated and the media is familiar for this age group.

However, I would reframe the concept of relationships in the textbook beyond "marriage" to "committed romantic relationships" given the increase of polyamory/consensual non-monogamy, open relationships, and long-term cohabitation/commitment without marriage. Although marriage is still largely the norm in the United States, the changing landscape of romantic relationship development could be more strongly present in this textbook.

The tone of the authorship balances an academic and conversational tone well-suited for an undergraduate audience. Jargon is well-defined in-text and glossary is provided. The writing is professional and academic, without being esoteric.

No inconsistencies in terminology, theoretical frameworks, nor pedagogical approaches were detected. The authors have clearly reviewed this textbook for quality and consistency.

The textbook is well organized into manageably-sized blocks of text with many headings and subheadings, which helps the reader navigate the text. Instructors should find it easy to identify how parts of this textbook overlap with their existing communcation or relationships course for ready adaptation and integration into existing curriculum.

This textbook is largely organized like other communication textbooks: Introduction/Overview, Identity, Verbal/Nonverbal Communication, Culture, Mediated Communication, and various types of relationships (e.g., family, professional, etc.). It's logical and familiar organization makes it easy to navigate and integrate with standard introducation to communication courses.

Very few issues with distortion of images or overlap in page elements or formatting inconsistencies.

No obvious grammatical errors were detected. The writing style is accessible and easy to read.

Authors clearly took steps to be inclusive and draw attention to issues of equity with regard to gender identity, sexual orientation, race/ethnicity, religion, political identity, and other groups (for examples, see sections on dating scripts, post-modern friendships, racist language, cross-group friendships). I would recommend future revisions include information about African American Vernacular English (AAVE) possible under a section about culture, dialects, or accents, given its direct relevance to communication.

I plan on replacing the textbook for my Interpersonal Communication course with this textbook. In most respects, it is equivalent to the textbook that is currently required. However, it also is an improvement on the current textbook in terms of the density of research citations and in the supplemental material. Instructors of introductory communication courses can feel confident in adopting this textbook to reduce costs, lower educational barriers, without sacrificing educational rigor and quality.

Reviewed by Jennifer Burns, Adjunct Faculty, Middlesex Community College on 3/13/21

Interpersonal Communication: A Mindful Approach to Relationships, provides an in-depth understanding to the variables that comprise interpersonal communication, I especially appreciate the mindful (know thyself) lens!! read more

Interpersonal Communication: A Mindful Approach to Relationships, provides an in-depth understanding to the variables that comprise interpersonal communication, I especially appreciate the mindful (know thyself) lens!!

After examining the context and student workbook, I was impressed with the content accuracy. I did not pick up on saturation of bias and or stigmatizing language.

Yes, content is up-to-date, and it is encouraged to contact the author with needed updates, and or changes. It is also encouraged to personalize the book to fit the needs of the students!

This textbook is clear, concise and to the point!

The framework and theory are woven throughout the text.

The text is divided into digestible sections, that allow for independent assignment of course material. The formatting is easy on the eyes!

Love the text organization, the content is clear, logical and sequential!

You do need an access code from author to obtain access to the teacher resources.

Did not notice grammatical errors.

I did not perceive this text to be culturally insensitive.

Reviewed by Jessica Martin, Adjunct Instructor, Communication Studies, Portland Community College on 1/5/21

This book presents a comprehensive breakdown of the major types of interpersonal communication. The chapters included in this course text align with the traditional content in an interpersonal communication course. I like how it also includes a... read more

This book presents a comprehensive breakdown of the major types of interpersonal communication. The chapters included in this course text align with the traditional content in an interpersonal communication course. I like how it also includes a chapter focused on mediated communication, as this is an important topic of discussion for our current day and age.

Consistent sources are cited throughout the course text at the end of each chapter, proving its accuracy . The sources appear to be non-bias and overall boost the credibility of the text.

Being that the text includes a chapter primarily focused on mediated communication, I would say that the text is up to date and contains adequate information to support relevancy.

The text is written in a straightforward, simplistic type of manner. This would make it easy for any college student to follow along with the content and keep up with the terminology. Any time a new term is introduced, plenty of examples are given to explain that term. This same format is followed consistently throughout the course text.

Each chapter begins with clear learning outcomes, follows with consistent sub-headers and clear introductions to new terminology. I also noted how each chapters includes exercises to help students further understand course content.

Each chapter is clearly divided up into specific sections to help with lesson planning and overall lecturing materials. This would make it easy to create lecture material for the course.

The text is organized effectively in that there are clear transitions from one topic to another. As mentioned previously, each chapter begins with clear learning objectives, and concludes with exercises, key-takeaways, and a list of key terms.

I would say that overall this course text is easy to navigate. Plenty of charts, tables, and photographs are consistently used to help introduce new ideas and key theories.

I did not note any grammatical errors.

The text includes a chapter titled "Culture and Environmental Factors in Interpersonal Communication," which includes all of the necessary key terms that you would hope to see in an interpersonal communication course.

Reviewed by Prachi Kene, Professor, Rhode Island College on 10/22/20

This book presents a comprehensive overview of the different aspects, types, and models of communication. Further topics of discussion include verbal and non-verbal elements of communication, impact of communication on a variety of relationships... read more

This book presents a comprehensive overview of the different aspects, types, and models of communication. Further topics of discussion include verbal and non-verbal elements of communication, impact of communication on a variety of relationships (friendships, family, marriage, dating, siblings, coworkers, etc.), mediated communication, and conflict. The book concludes with an exploration of "the dark side of communication." Key concepts discussed throughout the book are listed in the glossary.

The content of the book is informed by advances in the fields of communication and psychology. These sources are acknowledged throughout the content and cited in the references section at the end of each chapter. Information is discussed in an unbiased manner.

The content is up-to-date and includes information about communication and technology. Given the clear organization of the text, it will be amenable to modifications as the impact of technology on communication continues to evolve.

This text is easy to read and follow due to the clear organization and clarity of expression. Exercises and key take aways following each section make the content easy to understand and remember.

The content of this text is consistent and free of contradictions. Multiple perspectives to view and understand concepts are presented in a cogent manner.

Each chapter is divided into smaller and coherent sections that will easily align to lesson planning, creation of lecture materials, and graded tasks/assignments.

This text is well-organized and smoothly transitions from one topic to another. Specifically, each section begins with learning objectives and concludes with exercises and "key takeaways." Chapters are followed by a list of key terms, "real world case study," and quiz that makes the concepts meaningful to the reader.

This book is easy to navigate. Tables, figures, and pictures are used effectively to emphasize the key concepts and ideas. However, occasionally a table spans across multiple pages.

This text does not contain grammatical errors.

The text acknowledges the role of culture in communication and contains a chapter titled, "Cultural and Environmental Factors in Interpersonal Communication." Impact of culture on communication is also infused into other chapters.

Table of Contents

• Chapter 1: Introduction to Human Communication
• Chapter 2: Overview of Interpersonal Communication
• Chapter 3: Intrapersonal Communication
• Chapter 4: Verbal Elements of Communication
• Chapter 5: Nonverbal Communication
• Chapter 6: Cultural and Environmental Factors in Interpersonal Communication
• Chapter 7: Talking and Listening
• Chapter 8: Building and Maintaining Relationships
• Chapter 9: Conflict in Relationship
• Chapter 10: Friendship Relationships
• Chapter 11: Family & Marriage Relationships
• Chapter 12: Interpersonal Communication in Mediated Contexts
• Chapter 13: Interpersonal Relationships at Work
• Chapter 14: The Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication

Ancillary Material

• Instructor Manual
• Lecture Slide Deck

About the Book

Interpersonal Communication: A Mindful Approach to Relationships  helps readers examine their own one-on-one communicative interactions using a mindfulness lens. The writing team of Jason S. Wrench, Narissra M. Punyanunt-Carter, and Katherine Thweatt incorporates the latest communication theory and research to help students navigate everyday interpersonal interactions. The 14 chapters in this book cover topics typically taught in an undergraduate interpersonal communication course: family interactions, interpersonal dynamics, language, listening, nonverbal communication, and romantic relationships, as well as exploring emerging areas such as self-compassion, body positivity, friendships, and “the dark side”. The writing takes on a purposefully informal tone to engage readers. Each chapter is broken into different sections that have unique instructional outcomes, key takeaways, and exercises, and concludes with real-world case studies and sample quiz questions. Also included is  an extensive glossary with over 350 definitions.

About the Contributors

Jason S. Wrench (Ed.D., West Virginia University) is a professor in the Department of Communication at the State University of New York at New Paltz. Dr. Wrench specializes in workplace learning and performance, or the intersection of instructional communication and organizational communication. His varied research interests include workplace learning and human performance improvement, computer-mediated communication, interpersonal communication, empirical research methods, family communication, humor, risk/crisis communication, and supervisor-subordinate interactions. Dr. Wrench regularly consults with individuals and organizations on workplace communication and as a professional speech coach for senior executives.

Narissra M. Punyanunt-Carter (Ph.D., Kent State University) is a professor in the Department of Communication and assistant dean of international affairs for the College of Media and Communication. She is also an associate professor of Communication Studies at Texas Tech University in Lubbock, Texas. She teaches the basic interpersonal communication course. Her research areas include mass media effects, father-daughter communication, mentoring, advisor-advisee relationships, family studies, religious communication, humor, and interpersonal communication. She has published over 70 articles that have appeared in several peer-reviewed journals, such as  Communication Research Reports, Southern Journal of Communication , and  Journal of Intercultural Communication Research . She has also published numerous instructional ancillaries and materials. She is also a coauthor of  Organizational communication: Theory, Research, and Practice  (2014, Flat World Knowledge). Dr. Punyanunt coedited  The Impact of Social Media in Modern Romantic Relationship  (2017, Lexington).

Katherine S. Thweatt (Ed.D, West Virginia University) is an associate professor at the State University of New York at Oswego. Dr. Thweatt’s areas of interest are interpersonal communication, instructional communication, and health communication. She has published in the areas of teasing, teacher immediacy and misbehaviors, cognitive flexibility, and healthcare research. Healthcare publications involved shared medical appointments, heart failure, and infectious disease.

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Self-Concept and Interpersonal Communication

One of the main things impacted by our self-concept and our self-esteem is our communication. Self-concept, self-image, self-esteem and self-efficacy are major factors in the way we communicate. Whether we are introverts or extroverts that can be seen in the way we communicate with others. Communication becomes smooth when we become part of it. People with high self-esteem are confident, responsible, committed to goals, genuine and forgiving. An artificially inflated self-esteem is an effort to appear to have high self-esteem. However, such individuals don't typically show the characteristics of people with high self-esteem. Whereas people with low self-esteem are insecure, unhappy and impatient, but people artificially inflated self-esteem try to appear to have high self-esteem in an effort to compensate their deficiency. There are certain ways improve one's self-esteem. Development of a relationship is closely related to systematic self-disclosure which again another form of interpersonal communication. General personality traits such as quietness, shyness, and reticence frequently precipitate Communication Apprehension. Prevention and treatment methods of communication apprehension are now available. The way we communicate is greatly influenced by our self-concept especially self-esteem. Only because of this influence some of us introvert, some others are extroverts and still some others are mixture of both. If somebody focuses on his or her sense of humor in his/her talks, he will be seen as a funny person by all around him whether or not he himself aware of it. Our emotional needs and desires dictate our communication. If a person perceives himself as an introvert, but he or she doesn't like to be attributed so as it negatively affect his /her self-esteem and he may really want to be a funny person, he reassures himself again and again having a great sense of humor and he goes on to great lengths and breadths to tell jokes and try to amuse others.

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Mariana Vernieri

1-The true meaning of introversion and its influence on happiness We frequently think of introversion as a social problem. The introvert is, in the eyes of many, a shy person who finds it difficult to make friends. Consequently, introversion could be experienced as a disadvantage in the race for happiness or as a difficulty that must be overcome in order to improve our chances of being happy. However, this view on introversion is not only false but also extremely harmful. This idea stems from a noticeable prevalence of extraverts worldwide (extraverts account for approximately 85% of the general population according to some studies) and from a difficulty by extraverts to understand what is different. The defining characteristic of introversion is not the social relationshipbuilding aspect, but a different way of seeing and thinking about the world: a way which assigns more importance to our own thoughts and feelings about the surrounding world than to external stimulation in and of itself. The term " introverted " says it all: " turned inward " , while the extravert is " turned outward. " This entails more reflection about what goes on around us, less impulsiveness and greater control over our responses to stimuli than most people. Ultimately, this results in a life led on a different wavelength from most people and has countless consequences: some negative and some positive. Physiologically, introverts have naturally high cortical arousal compared to extraverts, by general stimulation, and, particularly, by stimulation from conversation or interaction with other people. This means that a smaller influx of information from the external environment causes, in introverts, significant mental and emotional activity. A detail observed in the external environment gives rise to a myriad of thoughts, reasoning, speculation, fantasies, fears and emotions, and can remain with us for a long time. Extraverts, on the other hand, are only minimally aroused. They do not dwell on external phenomena for a long time and they therefore need to quickly seek out more stimulating environments to feel selfactualized. This difference in cortical arousal is what differentiates us most and can be seen throughout our daily lives. Understanding our differences and knowing how to leverage them is essential to find the happiness that we long for. For that purpose it is first necessary to understand that shyness and introversion are not the same. Although sometimes they go hand in hand, being introverted, as we have discussed, means having an introspective attitude. This does not necessarily entail shyness, lack of social skills or social problems. In fact, there are many people who are introverts and lead a perfectly satisfactory social life (according to their own standards) and are not at all shy; in the same way, there are extraverts who are shy and have terrible social lives. Shyness is a problem that can be quite serious and affects both introverts and extraverts. People who are naturally extraverts but are shy suffer much more as a result of their shyness than the introverts who are also shy. This is so because shy extraverts feel the intense desire to interact with other people but they do not dare do it or their attempts to do it are clumsy. This causes frustration, which is significantly diminished in introverted people since their need and desire for

jerald moneva

Gudberg K Jonsson

INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL OF RESEARCH CULTURE SOCIETY

Dr. Sweta Ghosh

The paper presents a comprehensive exploration of the intricate relationship between communication, self-theory, and interpersonal dynamics. It begins by addressing the omnipresence of communication in human life. Communication, an integral aspect of human life, permeates all spheres of existence, encompassing both intrapersonal reflections and interpersonal interactions. The paper further explores the dilemma of communication, delineating between self-confirmation needs and those reliant on external validation. Then, the concept of self is examined, highlighting its formation through cognitive processes and social interactions, and its continuous evolution through experiences and developmental processes. The study delves into the crucial aspect of self-maintenance in communication, elucidating strategies individuals employ to safeguard their self-worth in interpersonal interactions. It discusses the role of personal characteristics, such as knowledge, motives, attitudes, personality traits, and emotions, in shaping communication dynamics and influencing interpersonal interactions. Moreover, the paper discusses the purpose of interpersonal communication, which emphasizes on self-awareness enhancement, social relationship improvement, and personal development. It distinguishes interpersonal communication from casual conversation and also explores the significance of interpersonal communication in building personal characteristics and fostering self-identification. Overall, the paper offers valuable insights into the multifaceted nature of communication and its profound implications for self-development, social connection, collective well-being and enriched lived experiences.

The Psychological Record

Michael Glauser

Journal of Personality and Social Psychology

Sjofn Agustsdottir

Lillian Ruby

Personality and Individual Differences

Stefan Stieger

Prabhakar S Rao

One of the most deceptive aspects of the ego is that it generates powerful emotional reactions, the trail of emotional reactions that ego leaves behind are anger at a loved one, a need to be right, a feeling of insecurity in certain situations, feelings of unexplained jealousy, the need to impress someone, and so on. Conflictual behavior at workplace not only impacts those who are involved in the conflict but also others in the work place. Self-esteem and ego are the two important aspects that effect our personal relationships, By just become aware of ego, it will dissipate soon and once you bring it into the light of consciousness, it will be unable to 'survive " People with low self-esteem are more socially anxious and shy which can make it difficult to form close relationships with others. The interplay between self-esteem and ego was analyzed and their effect on our day-today interactions and relationships was studied in this article. At the most fundamental psychological level, there are three kinds of people one who inflate and encourage, or are more like a human vortex, a steady drain on emotional resources, courage-builder or a spirit-sucker whom colleagues view as a burst of upbeat energy or a vitality-vampire, sucking the positive lifeblood out of co-workers or an ego-booster or an ego-buster. If Words and actions of a person contribute to the overall energy and happiness in himself and the lives of co-workers around him, he'll make a radical decision to positively reframe his outlook, speech and actions. Ego –busters' vs. ego boosters': Ego busters are destructive communication patterns and ego boosters are constructive communication patterns. The following are some of the characteristics of ego busters and how we can help those who use these destructive communication patterns, and can change these behaviors in our own speech.

The Main Sources of Stereotypes, The Concept of Self-monitoring and Self-concept in Interpersonal Communication

• Categories: Interpersonal Communication

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Published: Oct 4, 2018

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Table of contents

Interpersonal communication, self-concept, self-reflection.

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