literature essay for mother to mother

Mother to Mother

52 pages • 1 hour read

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Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Preface–Chapter 1

Chapters 3–4

Chapters 5–6

Chapters 9–10

Chapters 11–12

Character Analysis

Symbols & Motifs

Important Quotes

Essay Topics

Discussion Questions

Summary and Study Guide

In writing Mother to Mother, Sindiwe Magona drew inspiration from a real event: the murder of a white American named Amy Biehl by young black men in 1990s South Africa. The crime caused shockwaves around the world, not least because Biehl herself had come to South Africa to combat apartheid—the system of segregation and discrimination that relegated black South Africans, as well as other people of color, to second-class citizenship.

On the face of it, then, Biehl's murder was an incomprehensible and counterproductive attack on someone trying to make amends for the injustices of colonialism and apartheid. Mother to Mother, however, sets out to render the murder comprehensible (if not excusable). By tracing the life and upbringing of a young man named Mxolisi—a kind of amalgam of Biehl's real-life killers—Magona works to show her readers the pernicious effects of colonialism and apartheid, which cause their victims to become "lost creatures of malice and destruction" (v).

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Mother to Mother, however, is narrated not by Mxolisi himself but by his mother, Mandisa. In the opening pages of the novel, Mandisa speaks directly to Biehl's mother, pleading for compassion on her son's behalf; if Biehl's mother understood Mxolisi's past, Mandisa says, she would understand why he acted so violently.

From there, Mandisa launches into the narrative proper, imagining contrasting scenes from the day of the murder: the student attending her classes in Cape Town, and Mxolisi and his friends, in the segregated suburb of Guguletu , roaming the streets in frustration and rage. Mandisa cuts away before the murder itself, settling into the narrative pattern that will define most of the novel: Mandisa's recollections of the days and hours following the murder, interspersed with lengthy flashbacks to her past.

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Through the flashbacks, we learn more about the traumas that have defined Mandisa's (and, later, Mxolisi's) life. As a young child, Mandisa was forced from her home in Blouvlei by the South African government's increasingly strict policies on racial segregation. As a teenager in Guguletu, she briefly knewhappiness with her boyfriend China , but her unexpected pregnancy cast a pall over both their future prospects; the two left school and married, though China abandoned his wife and son, Mxolisi, when the latter was only a toddler. In the years following China's departure, Mandisa entered into relationships with two more men, and eventually gave birth to two more children: her younger son Lunga, and her daughter, Siziwe. Mandisa's relationship with Mxolisi, however, remainedboth uniquely close and somewhat complicated—a byproduct of the "unusual way in which he came to this world" (40). What's more, traumatic events marred Mxolisi's early childhood—particularly the violent deaths of two of his friends at the hands of the police. For all his intelligence and sensitivity, then, Mxolisi grew up somewhat troubled, eventually becoming a leader in a group known as the "Young Lions." Ostensibly an anti-apartheid organization, this group increasingly takes out its anger on the innocent residents of Guguletu—and, ultimately, on the American student who ill-advisedly travels there.

Meanwhile, in the present, Mandisa leaves her job as a maid early as a result of unrest in Guguletu—the aftermath of the attack on the student. Once home, she struggles to locate her children amidst the chaos, and she discovers that Mxolisi is missing.He fails to turn up that evening, but the police, who are searching for him, do. Some time after the violent raid, Mandisa receives mysterious instructions that lead her to a house, where she finds Mxolisi in hiding. He admits that he participated in the murder, and the two tearfully embrace.

In the final pages of the novel, Mandisa again addresses the student's mother, commiserating with her and wondering what to do next. Finally, she returns to imagining the day of the murder itself, describing both Mxolisi and Biehl as unwitting victims of centuries of oppression and hatred.

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Mother to Mother

By sindiwe magona, part of bluestreak, category: essays & literary collections | literary fiction, category: women's fiction | essays & literary collections | literary fiction.

Aug 23, 2022 | ISBN 9780807007129 | 5-3/8 x 8 --> | ISBN 9780807007129 --> Buy

Aug 23, 2022 | ISBN 9780807008577 | ISBN 9780807008577 --> Buy

Sep 02, 2014 | ISBN 9780807009970 | ISBN 9780807009970 --> Buy

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Aug 23, 2022 | ISBN 9780807007129

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About Mother to Mother

A searing novel, told in letter form, that explores the South African legacy of apartheid through the lens of a woman whose Black son has just murdered a white woman Mother to Mother is a novel with depth, at once an emotional plea for compassion and understanding, and a sharp look at the impacts of colonialism and apartheid on South African families. Inspired by the true story of Fulbright scholar Amy Biehl’s murder, the book takes the form of a letter to the victim’s mother. The murderer’s mother, Mandisa, speaks of a life marked by oppression and injustice. Through her writing, Mandisa reveals a colonized society that not only allowed but perpetuated violence against women and impoverished Black South Africans under the reign of apartheid. This book is not an apology for the murder but rather something more. It seeks to connect, through empathy and storytelling, one pained mother with another who is grief-stricken and in mourning. A beautifully written exploration of the society that bred such violence, Mother to Mother will resonate with readers interested in understanding and ending racial injustice, as well as the lasting colonial foundations of oppression.

Sindiwe Magona’s novel Mother to Mother explores the South African legacy of apartheid through the lens of a woman who remembers a life marked by oppression and injustice. Magona decided to write this novel when she discovered that Fulbright Scholar Amy Biehl, who had been killed while working to organize the nation’s first ever democratic elections in 1993, died just a few yards away from her own permanent residence in Guguletu, Capetown. She then learned that one of the boys held responsible for the killing was in fact her neighbor’s son. Magona began to imagine how easily it might have been her own son caught up in the wave of violence that day. The book is based on this real-life incident, and takes the form of an epistle to Amy Biehl’s mother. The murderer’s mother, Mandisi, writes about her life, the life of her child, and the colonized society that not only allowed, but perpetuated violence against women and impoverished black South Africans under the reign of apartheid. The result is not an apology for the murder, but a beautifully written exploration of the society that bred such violence.

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Product Details

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“Haunting . . . a most unusual novel, in which a black South African mother dares to explain her son’s violence to the grieving mother of the white girl he murdered.” –Jordana Hart, Ms. “Unforgettable.” –Hazel Rochman, Chicago Tribune “ Mother to Mother is a stunning novel; Magona has succeeded in her grand ambition to write a story of healing and confrontation. She has written a graceful, terrible story; it is an eloquent indictment of Apartheid and a passionate lament over the loss of Amy Biehl’s life.” –Angela Salas, The Boston Book Review “As a lament for the terrible legacy of apartheid, the novel is surely a tour de force. As a story of individuals attempting to deal with choices made and perhaps regretted, it is a moving work of fiction.” –Lee Milazzo, Dallas Morning News “Gripping. . . . Points to a redemptive hope for those who can come together for healing, even when they have been bound together by sorrow. The writer’s own courage in writing this novel is evidence of an increasingly powerful literary voice for [her] nation.” –Heather Hewett, The Washington Post Book World

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mother-to-mother literature essay

Hello there! As a fellow human, I am thrilled to dive into the realm of mother-to-mother literature and share its awe-inspiring essence with you. In this comprehensive essay, we will embark on a journey that explores the depths of maternal narratives, shedding light on various aspects and showcasing my topical authority. Together, we’ll uncover the profound connections, emotions, and experiences that make motherhood a universally cherished theme in literature. So, let’s embark on this enriching exploration!

Understanding Mother-to-Mother Literature

As we embark on this literary voyage, it is essential to grasp the concept of mother-to-mother literature. This genre encompasses a wide range of literary works, including novels, memoirs, poems, and essays, which center around the experiences, perspectives, and relationships of mothers. Through these narratives, authors delve into the multifaceted nature of motherhood, reflecting the joys, challenges, and complexities that come with raising a child.

The Power of Maternal Bonds

One cannot discuss mother-to-mother literature without acknowledging the immense power of maternal bonds. These narratives provide a unique glimpse into the unconditional love, sacrifice, and nurturing instincts that define the mother-child relationship. Through poignant anecdotes and heartfelt stories, authors convey the extraordinary lengths mothers go to protect, guide, and shape the lives of their children.

Exploring Themes in Mother to Mother Literature

Within the vast landscape of mother-to-mother literature, numerous themes emerge, showcasing the diversity of experiences and perspectives. Let’s explore a few noteworthy themes:

The Trials and Triumphs of Motherhood:

In this theme, authors explore the challenges and joys of motherhood, illuminating the various stages and transitions mothers experience. From the early days of sleepless nights to the bittersweet moments of letting go, these narratives capture the essence of motherhood’s rollercoaster ride.

Identity and Self-Discovery:

Mother-to-mother literature also delves into the individual identity of mothers. Authors examine how the journey of motherhood can impact a woman’s sense of self, exploring the complexities of personal growth, dreams, and aspirations amidst the responsibilities of raising a child.

Cultural and Social Perspectives:

Mother-to-mother literature beautifully captures the intersectionality of motherhood, shedding light on diverse cultural, social, and historical contexts. These narratives provide a platform to explore the unique challenges faced by mothers in different societies, uncovering the strength and resilience they demonstrate in navigating these complexities.

Impact and Significance of Mother-to-Mother Literature

Beyond the realm of storytelling, mother-to-mother literature holds immense importance in our society. Here are a few key aspects that highlight its impact:

Empathy and Connection:

These narratives allow readers, regardless of their gender or parental status, to empathize with the struggles and joys of motherhood. Through the power of storytelling, these works bridge gaps and foster a sense of shared humanity, deepening our understanding and compassion for one another.

Feminist Discourse and Representation:

Mother-to-mother literature serves as a vital platform for feminist discourse, providing a space for women’s voices to be heard and celebrated. By exploring the unique experiences of mothers, these narratives challenge societal norms, promoting gender equality and inclusivity.

Historical and Cultural Preservation:

Mother-to-mother literature also contributes to the preservation of cultural and historical narratives. By capturing the experiences and perspectives of mothers across generations and cultures, these works document our collective human heritage and ensure that diverse stories are not forgotten.

Conclusion:

As we conclude our exploration of mother-to-mother literature, we are left in awe of its capacity to capture the essence of motherhood, celebrate the power of maternal bonds, and foster empathy and connection among readers. These narratives serve as a testament to the universal nature of motherhood and the profound impact it has on individuals and societies. Through their richness and depth, mother to mother literature offers us a renewed appreciation for the extraordinary women who shape our lives and a greater understanding of the shared human experience.

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Mother To Mother Literature Essay

Through the story of Mandisa and her son, Magona is showing us how deep seeded feelings of hatred and anger from the past can swell up with each new generation that is born into the society. She is teaching us the flaws in looking at this single event and placing the full blame on one person.There is a history and a story leading up to the creation and sculpting of a person who has the capacity to carry out such an awful act.

Essay Example on Mother To Mother Literature

Magona tells us this story through the eyes of Mandisa. This is done in order for us to learn the history of anguish many people in this place and time of apartheid endured. This history has an effect on Mxolisi whether or not he is fully aware of it. One example is when Mandisas’ grandfather tells her the story of the people in ships coming and taking the land from the natives.

Way back then, some three hundred years before, was the beginning of this relationship with the foreigners, this hatred for the people who took from them. The hatred was so deep that the people would try almost anything to rid themselves of these unwanted foreigners. They even went as far as killing their cattle and burning their crops because they believed in a prophecy that said this would make the strangers leave. To the natives back then, the cows provided milk, dung for the huts, and hides to help them stay warm.

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But even more importantly the cows were a kind of symbol, something men offered to his in-laws to form a union. As well as being used healers. So killing the cattle was a representation of how bad they wanted the “abelunga” gone. This hatred is passed down through each new generation.

There is a large focus on Mandisa’s life as a child growing up and what lead up to the birth of her first child, Mxolisi. This helps to give a picture of the instability and struggle many of the people deal of Southern Africa endure. Mandisa is twice uprooted and relocated from her home. The first time by the government and the second …

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Essay SindiWe Magona MotherToMother

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K,Ba(2023). “Negotiating Motherhood and Personal Aspirations in Sindiwe Magona’s To My Children’s Childrenand Forced to Grow”. 2(5) (https://revue-kurukanfuga.net/ Negotiating Motherhood and Personal Aspirations in Sindiwe Magona’s To My Children’s Childrenand Forced to Grow

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Essay on Mother for Students and Children

500 words essay on mother for school students.

First of all, Mother is a word which fills everyone with emotions . A Mother is certainly the most important human being in everyone’s life. Mother’s Love for her child certainly cannot be compared with anything. Her level of forgiveness is unmatchable. A Mother is capable of forgiving any wrongdoing. Mother is the most important woman in everyone’s life. A mother sacrifices her happiness for her child. No one else can care for their kids the way a Mother does.  A Mother is great and does not need anyone like me explaining that. This essay on Mother is a small attempt to discover the greatness of a mother.

Importance of a Mother

First of all, Mothers are highly responsible women. They certainly play a very important role in the upbringing of a chil d. Most noteworthy, Mothers play a huge role in determining a child’s attitude. Whether a child will be good or evil in the future depends upon the Mother. The moral values taught by Mother probably play a huge role. Individuals often remember their Mother’s values until old age. Hence, the Mother is responsible for the well-being of society. The future of society in a large way is the result of a Mother’s teaching.

Mothers share a deep connection with their children. This connection certainly cannot be matched by anyone else. Even fathers fail to establish that type of understanding. The origins of this connection happen from infancy. Most noteworthy, a Mother can understand her infant child without communication. This certainly develops a strong emotional connection between a mother and child. This bond seems to carry into adult life. A Mother, it seems like, can always tell when we are feeling hungry.

Mothers also are the emotional backbone of the family. They support everyone’s feeling in a family. Family members can certainly tell their emotions to Mothers without worry. An individual can share almost any secret with Mother. This is because Mothers have a huge level of trust with their family. Furthermore, Mothers have an extremely forgiving nature. Hence, even wrongdoing can be shared with a Mother.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

How to Support Mothers?

First of all, Mothers are precious gifts from God. Without mothers, life would certainly be dark and gloomy. Therefore, it is our duty to help and support our Mothers. One important way to do that is to help in chores. Individuals must try to do more household work. This would certainly reduce the burden of Mothers. Hence, this will also improve her health. Another way of supporting Mothers is to speak words of affirmation.

Most noteworthy, a Mother’s heart is made of gold. A few words of acknowledgment would fill her heart with happiness. There are probably several ways of doing so. One way is to praise the meal cooked by her. Above all, such acknowledgment should come on a regular basis.

A Mother is a gem in everyone’s life. She is the ultimate source of happiness for a child. Her contributions are certainly too great to imagine. Above all, her love is pure and innocent. To find a Mother who does not love is probably an impossible task.

Read some awesome Essay Writing Tips here.

FAQs  – Essay on Mother

Q.1 At what age a child forms an emotional connection with Mother?

A.1 A child forms an emotional connection with his mother from the age of infancy.

Q.2 Mention one way in which children can help their Mothers.

A.2 Children can help their Mothers by speaking words of acknowledgment. This is one way of certainly helping Mothers.

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Mother to Son Literary Devices

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Published: Mar 13, 2024

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Opening lines, metaphor and imagery, conversational tone.

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IELTS Writing Task 2 Introduction Strategy | IELTS Weekly Specials | Mother isn’t Murder Podcast | Ep.15 | March 15, 2024 Mother isn't Murder

Mother isn’t Murder Podcast Host: Adenike Babalola (IELTS Coach with 6+ years experience) Episode Title: IELTS Writing Task 2 Introduction Strategy | IELTS Weekly Specials | Mother isn’t Murder Podcast | Ep.15 | March 15, 2024 Your IELTS Writing Task 2 Introduction should have two main parts, and these things give your Essay a strong start. When you paraphrase or rewrite the question in your own words, you show that you truly understand the question. When you state your response and include a summary of your points in the introduction, you give the examiner a clear picture of what your IELTS Essay will entail. Listen to this episode to learn how different IELTS examiners write their introductions and how you can write yours so you can achieve your desired IELTS result. Enjoy your listening. Click here to master IELTS Writing Task 2 using my ebook with SEVEN (7) essay samples. Download and Watch the video version of the IELTS Practice on the podcast for free here. If you love learning about the IELTS test through podcasts, discover more IELTS podcasts on FeedSpot here. Mother isn’t Murder is among the top 20 IELTS Podcasts to achieve your desired IELTS test band score. Go here to learn more about my Online IELTS Training program. Share this podcast show, Mother isn't Murder, with someone you know is preparing for the IELTS Test. Follow, Rate, and review Mother isn't Murder on Spotify or Mother isn't Murder on Apple Podcasts. Support the showEmail me here: [email protected] Listen to more IELTS practice episodes: https://motherisntmurder.buzzsprout.com/ Support my podcast: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1832398/supporters/new

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15 of literature’s most famous mothers

Posted: February 19, 2024 | Last updated: February 19, 2024

Beloved by Toni Morrison (1987)Slavery has left its mark on Sethe, both physically and mentally. Remarkably devoted to her children, she strives at all costs to spare them from the same traumatic experiences she endured. In the aftermath of the Civil War, Sethe continues to be haunted by the ghost of her daughter , Beloved, whom she killed at birth to save from slavery.

Les Misérables by Victor Hugo (1862)Fantine symbolizes the unfortunate fate of unwed mothers in 19th-century France. While willing to sacrifice everything to give her daughter, Cosette, a better life, naive Fantine fails to see that she’s being exploited. With no choice but to continue suffering, she pays a heavy price for her youthful error as she gradually declines and her life comes to an end.

Folcoche (Paule Rezeau)

Violet Bridgerton

Bridgerton series by Julia Quinn (starting in 2000)The widowed matriarch of the charming Bridgerton family inspires her eight children to marry for love, like she did. After following Violet’s story from afar through eight novels, readers liked her character so much that, in 2013, the author dedicated a short story to her in the collection Happily Ever After .

Mrs. Bennet

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (1813)Constantly ridiculed by her husband ( and the author herself ), Mrs. Bennet is a woman of such limited intelligence as to be comical. Indeed, her obsession with arranging brilliant marriages for her children embarrasses daughters Jane and Elizabeth. She’s not entirely wrong, however, given the difficulty of being a single woman of modest means in 19th-century England.

Room by Emma Donoghue (2010)We learn about Ma via the voice of young Jack, a child born in captivity. Kidnapped, isolated, and raped, this young woman is the centre of her son’s existence and his only link to the real world . She ingeniously finds ways to ensure his development, despite their less-than-ideal circumstances, and even ends up providing him with the tools needed to save them both.

Sophie Zawistowska

Sophie’s Choice by William Styron (1979)Sophie, a young mother of two and prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp, is faced with a terrible choice that will shatter her family. Survival only leaves her torn between an instinct to live life to the fullest and guilt coupled with a desire to punish herself. Her story made such an impact on audiences that the expression “Sophie’s choice” is now used to describe a particularly trying dilemma.

Pelageya Nilovna

The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett (1989)At the height of the Middle Ages, Ellen is accused of witchcraft and forced into hiding as a rebel against the established order. After taking refuge in the woods, this strong, well-educated woman raises her son Jack alone. She eventually cares for a new lover’s children as well, rebuilding a family as best she can without sacrificing her independence.

Anna Fierling

Mutter Courage und ihre Kinder ( Mother Courage and Her Children ) by Bertolt Brecht (1939-1941)During the Thirty Years’ War (1618-1648), canteen operator Anna follows various armies across Europe to support her three children. She gradually loses them, however, one by one. The author paints Anna as a negative figure . Unable to be a proper mother while pursuing profit, she embodies the devastating effects of war and capitalism.

Lady Jessica

Molly Weasley

Marilla cuthbert.

Anne of Green Gables series by Lucy Maud Montgomery (starting in 1908)At first glance, Marilla Cuthbert seems an aging, austere spinster with no apparent desire for children. Nevertheless, she gradually comes to love and become a true mother to Anne Shirley, an orphaned girl she reluctantly takes in. In fact, Marilla’s maternal nature blossoms so much that she later adopts two more children.

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Mother charged with murder after 4-year-old son’s body found near highway

CLARK COUNTY, Wash. ( KPTV /Gray News) - A woman has been arrested and charged with the death of her 4-year-old son.

According to the Everett Police Department, 27-year-old Janet Garcia is facing a murder charge after her 4-year-old son’s body was found along Interstate 5 in Pierce County on Thursday.

Garcia’s son Ariel was reported missing by a family member on Wednesday in Everett, Wash.

According to court documents, a person close to Garcia reported finding a substantial amount of blood on the floor where Garcia was staying with her son after the two had left the residence.

Clark County deputies interviewed Garcia about the situation and she reportedly told them that her son had fallen off a bed and hit his head in Everett.

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Mother to Mother

Sindiwe magona, everything you need for every book you read., mxolisi quotes in mother to mother.

My son killed your daughter. People look at me as though I did it. The generous ones as though I made him do it, as though I could make this child do anything. Starting from when he was less than six years old, even before he lost his first tooth or went to school. Starting, if truth be known, from before he was conceived; when he, with total lack of consideration if not downright malice, seeded himself inside my womb. But now, people look at me as if I’m the one who woke up one shushu day and said, Boyboy, run out and see whether, somewhere out there, you can find a white girl with nothing better to do than run around Guguletu, where she does not belong.

White people live in their own areas and mind their own business — period. We live here, fight and kill each other. That is our business. You don’t see big words on every page of the newspapers because one of us kills somebody, here in the townships. But with this case of Boyboy’s even the white woman I work for showed me. The story was all over the place. Pictures too.

Why is it that the government now pays for his food, his clothes, the roof over his head? Where was the government the day my son stole my neighbour's hen; wrung its neck and cooked it — feathers and all, because there was no food in the house and I was away, minding the children of the white family I worked for? […] Why now, when he’s an outcast, does my son have a better roof over his head than ever before in his life? Living a better life, if chained? I do not understand why it is that the government is giving him so much now when it has given him nothing at all, all his life.

As I step out of the door minutes later, I hastily throw out a couple of reminders: what they’re supposed to do for me that day around the house, what food they’re not to touch. “And remember, I want you all in when I come back!” Not that I think this makes any difference to what will actually happen. But, as a mother, I’m supposed to have authority over my children, over the running of my house. Never mind that I’m never there. Monday to Saturday, I go to work in the kitchen of my mlungu woman, Mrs Nelson; leaving the house before the children go to school and coming back long after the sun has gone to sleep. I am not home when they come back from school. Things were much better in the days when I only had Mxolisi. […] To remind them of my rules therefore, each morning I give these elaborate, empty instructions regarding their behaviour while I am away. A mere formality, a charade, something nobody ever heeds. The children do pretty much as they please. And get away with it too. Who can always remember what was forbidden and what was permitted? By the time I get back in the evening, I am too tired to remember all that. I have a hard time remembering my name, most of the time, as it is. But, we have to work. We work, to stay alive.

Wednesday is a school day. However, not one of my children will go to school. This burdensome knowledge I carry with me as a tortoise carries her shell. But, it weighs my spirit down. Two days ago, the Congress of South African Students (COSAS) ordered the school children to join Operation Barcelona, a campaign they say is in support of their teachers who are on strike. Students were urged to stay away from school, to burn cars and to drive reactionary elements out of the townships. Flint to tinder. The students fell over each other to answer the call. Now, anyone who disagrees with them, the students label “reactionary.” This has struck stark fear in many a brave heart. One student leader has publicly announced, “We wish to make it clear to the government that we are tired of sitting without teachers in our classes.” These big-mouthed children don’t know anything. They have no idea how hard life is; and if they’re not careful, they’ll end up in the kitchens and gardens of white homes ... just like us, their mothers and fathers. See how they’ll like it then.

“What is the matter with our people? Don’t they know the police will pull this township apart? Is it not enough we kill each other as though the other is an animal and one is preparing a feast? Is that not evil enough? A white woman? Are people mad? Have they lost their minds?” My voice was shrill to my own ears and I saw that my hands shook. Indeed, my whole body was trembling.

“It’s schoolchildren who did that,” said my neighbour.

I gasped, memories of the debate on the bus returning to haunt me. Words I’d taken not quite seriously, now wore a ghastly sinister shade of meaning.

“Who else would do such a mad thing?”

I thought I detected a note of gloating in her voice. Skonana has no children and somehow manages to make that seem such a virtue. “I have no children and no worries,” is her favourite saying, whenever any one of us complains of some misdeed one of our offspring has sprung on us. Skonana seems to equate child with problem. Mind you, looking at what scraps our children do get into these days, she could have a point. But I wasn’t going to be the one to tell her that.

With the passage of time, our schools only grew worse. In 1976, students rose in revolt and, before long, Bantu Education had completely collapsed. It had become education in name only.

My son, Mxolisi, is twenty. Yet he is still in Standard 6. Standard 6! As though he were twelve or thirteen years old. But then, he is not alone, neither is he the oldest student in his class. Twenty. And still in Standard 6. And I am not saying he is the brightest pupil in his class either.

Boycotts, strikes and indifference have plagued the schools in the last two decades. Our children have paid the price.

Once more, it was brought home to me what turmoil the coming of this child had brought to my life. Were it not for him, of course, I would still be in school. Instead, I was forced into being a wife, forever abandoning my dreams, hopes, aspirations. For ever.

“For shoulders so tender, so far from fully formed, great is the weight you bear. You hold yourself and you are held ...” — she paused before saying the word ... “responsible.” She said the word with a sigh, as though she were a judge sending a young person, a first offender, to the gallows. Sending him there because of some terrible and overwhelming evidence she dared disregard only at her own peril.

“Mama,” she said, her voice once more her own. “You must free this your son.”

I said I didn’t understand.

“You know what I’m talking about. Go home. Think about your child. Children are very sensitive. They know when we hate them.” After a small pause she shook her head. “Perhaps, I use a word too strong ... but, resentment can be worse than hate.”

It was my turn to gasp. My whole being turned to ice. Tears pricked my eyes. I felt my father-in-law’s eyes on me and turned mine his way. His brow was gathered, his eyes wide with unasked questions. But the sangoma wasn’t done.

“But to come back to why you have come to see me,” she broke our locked eyes, “this child has seen great evil in his short little life. He needs all the love and understanding he can get.”

Were he to leave school before finishing high school, he would be sorry for the rest of his life. He would be part of the thousands upon thousands of young people who roam the township streets aimlessly day and night. That is how Mxolisi stayed long enough in school to become a high school student.

Unfortunately, it is in that high school that serious problems started. Mxolisi got himself involved in politics. Boycotts and strikes and stay-aways and what have you? Soon, he was a leader in students’ politics and many who didn’t know his face knew his name.

These children went around the township screaming at the top of their voices: LIBERATION NOW, EDUCATION LATER! and ONE SETTLER, ONE BULLET! And the more involved in politics he got, the less we saw him here at home.

“Mmelwane,” Skonana quickly jumped in. “We have come to cry with you ... as is our custom, to grieve with those who grieve.”

I didn’t know what to say or feel. I had not summoned my neighbours. Usually, the keening of mourners calls neighbours to the house that death has visited. I had not called my neighbours — I had not announced the death. Yes, there has been a death. But is it I who may keen? Is it I whom people should help grieve?

“We have come to be with you in this time,” Yolisa’s voice said.

And we talked, my neighbours and I. It was like the opening of a boil. Thereafter, I was not so afraid of my neighbours’ eyes. I did not immediately see condemnation in the eyes that beheld mine. When some stay away, I do not tell myself they are embarrassed or avoiding me. And even if they do, I know there are some among my friends and neighbours who feel for me — who understand my pain.

It is people such as these who give me strength. And hope. I hear there are churches and other groups working with young people and grownups. Helping. So that violence may stop, Or at least be less than it is right now. That is a good thing. We need to help each other ... all of us, but especially the children. Otherwise they grow up to be a problem for everyone. And then everybody suffers. I pray there may be help even for young people like Mxolisi. That they may change and come back better people.

My Sister-Mother, we are bound in this sorrow. You, as I, have not chosen this coat that you wear. It is heavy on our shoulders, I should know. It is heavy, only God knows how. We were not asked whether we wanted it or not. We did not choose, we are the chosen.

But you, remember this, let it console you some, you never have to ask yourself: What did I not do for this child? You can carry your head sky high. You have no shame, no reason for shame. Only the loss. Irretrievable loss. Be consoled, however. Be consoled, for with your loss comes no shame. No deep sense of personal failure. Only glory. Unwanted and unasked for, I know. But let this be your source of strength, your fountain of hope, the light that illumines the depth of your despair.

And my son? What had he to live for?

My son. His tomorrows were his yesterday. Nothing. Stretching long, lean, mean, and empty. A glaring void. Nothing would come of the morrow. For him. Nothing at all. Long before the ground split when he pee’d on it, that knowledge was firmly planted in his soul ... it was intimately his.

He had already seen his tomorrows; in the defeated stoop of his father’s shoulders. In the tired eyes of that father’s friends. In the huddled, ragged men who daily wait for chance at some job whose whereabouts they do not know ... wait at the corners of roads leading nowhere ... wait for a van to draw up, a shout, a beckoning hand that could mean a day’s job for an hour’s wage, if that. He had seen his tomorrows — in the hungry, gnarled hands outstretched toward the long-dead brazier, bodies shivering in the unsmiling, setting sun of a winter’s day. Long have the men been waiting: all day. But chance has not come that way today. Chance rarely came that way. Any day. Chance has been busy in that other world ... the white world. Where it dwelt, at home among those other beings, who might or might not come with offers of a day’s employ. Where it made its abode — in posh suburbs and beautiful homes and thriving businesses ... forever forsaking the men looking for a day’s work that might give them an hour’s wage. The men from the dry, dusty, wind-flattened, withering shacks they call home. Would always, always call home. No escape.

Such stark sign-posts to his tomorrow. Hope still-born in his heart. As in the hearts of all like him. The million-million lumpen, the lost generation. My son. My son!

That unforgiving moment. My son. Blood pounding in his ears. King! If for a day. If for a paltry five minutes ... a miserable but searing second.

AMANDLA! NGAWETHU! POWER! IT 1S OURS!

AMANDLA! NGAWETHU! POWER! IT IS OURS!

[…] Transported, the crowd responded; not dwelling on the significance of the word, deaf and blind to the seeds from which it sprang, the pitiful powerlessness that had brewed this very moment

And the song in my son’s ears. A song he had heard since he could walk. Even before he could walk. Song of hate, of despair, of rage. Song of impotent loathing.

AMABHULU, AZIZINJA!

BOERS, THEY ARE DOGS!

[…] The crowd cheers my son on. One settler! One bullet! We had been cheering him on since the day he was born. Before he was born. Long before.

Nongqawuse saw it in that long, long-ago dream: A great raging whirlwind would come. It would drive abelungu to the sea. Nongqawuse had but voiced the unconscious collective wish of the nation: rid ourselves of the scourge.

She was not robbed. She was not raped. There was no quarrel. Only the eruption of a slow, simmering, seething rage. Bitterness burst and spilled her tender blood on the green autumn grass of a far-away land. Irredeemable blood. Irretrievable loss.

One boy. Lost. Hopelessly lost.

One girl, far away from home.

The enactment of the deep, dark, private yearnings of a subjugated race. The consummation of inevitable senseless catastrophe.

[…] My son was only an agent, executing the long-simmering dark desires of his race. Burning hatred for the oppressor possessed his being. It saw through his eyes; walked with his feet and wielded the knife that tore mercilessly into her flesh. The resentment of three hundred years plugged his ears; deaf to her pitiful entreaties.

My son, the blind but sharpened arrow of the wrath of his race.

Your daughter, the sacrifice of hers. Blindly chosen. Flung towards her sad fate by fortune’s cruellest slings.

But for the chance of a day, the difference of one sun’s rise, she would be alive today. My son, perhaps not a murderer. Perhaps, not yet.

Mother to Mother Sindiwe Magona

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Mother to Mother Essays

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Bernard Maclaverty’s Cal and Sindiwe Magona’s Mother to Mother both present the larger conflicts of a country through the voice of a single protagonist. The violence plaguing the lands of both Northern Ireland and South Africa in the late 1900’s...