no filter meaning

People Who Have No Filter

Think before you talk

People who have no filter don’t put their thoughts through the sieve of reflection. They just say what’s on their mind and then watch the consequences unfold. If they hurt someone’s feelings, they just hide behind what they consider to be their main virtue: they always tell the truth . They’re adults who never doubt themselves and who take honesty to the extreme. They make embarrassing situations even more uncomfortable.

Therefore, they rarely ever bite their tongues or leave anything unsaid.  They’re generally very active and show off how outgoing they are. Because they can’t handle silence , they break it by saying the first thing that comes to mind.

How to Deal With People Who Have No Filter

We’ve all had occasional moments when we’ve said something we shouldn’t have. It happens. But many of us have filters that keep our thoughts from escaping our mouths – at least, most of the time.

For other people who have no filter, it can be almost impossible to show restraint in how they communicate with others. They may ask inappropriate questions, make offensive remarks, or speak something they’re thinking. Often, no-filter people don’t intentionally mean to upset anyone, but that’s often part of the aftermath of their conversations.

Do you have a friend, relative, partner, or coworker who can’t seem to keep their thoughts to themselves? You might be dealing with a person with no filter. This relationship can be tricky to navigate, but here are some tips that can help:

Think About the Benefits of Being Close to Someone With No Filter

Having no filter isn’t necessarily always a bad thing. As with any personality trait, having no filter can come with some perks for both the unfiltered person and you. Thinking about it more positively might help you see this person in a new light. Here’s how an unfiltered relationship can be a good thing:

Spontaneity Can Be Fun

Unfiltered people are often spontaneous, just like their conversations. They don’t tend to hold back as much as others, and they may carry their spontaneity with them in other aspects of their lives. It might be fun to travel and take on new adventures with people who aren’t timid in how they talk or act.

They’re Honest

People who don’t have social filters are honest. Yes, they’re sometimes honest to a fault . But knowing you can depend on them to tell the truth by saying what they’re thinking can sometimes be refreshing.

If you’re ever in need of someone who can tell it like it is without sugarcoating their words, then searching for one of these individuals is your best bet.

They Can Be Funny

If they’re not making comments at the expense of others, then you’ll probably find that your friend or acquaintance is hilarious. People who don’t watch what they say without saying it are less reserved when it comes to making jokes that can keep everyone laughing.

They Exude Confidence

People in the unfiltered category say what they think without worrying about how others perceive them or feel about what they said. Confidence abounds in people will no filter, which can help them through many situations they encounter.

They’re Brave and Unafraid

With confidence often comes bravery when faced with other situations. You might notice that these people aren’t just unafraid to say what they think, but they’re also unafraid to face most situations into which they walk.

They Can Be Excellent Conversationalists

Without a filter to hold them back, a person can be great at starting and maintaining conversations. Their conversations may not always match what you had in mind. But you’ll probably never have a shortage of topics to talk about when you’re with a no-filter individual.

They Can Be Empathetic

It seems like people who lack a conversational filter are anything but empathetic. But when it’s a person very close to you, their non-filtered self could have the exact opposite effect.

Think about it: You’re having a conversation and ask for advice. Your friend certainly won’t be one to hold back. They’ll tell you exactly what they think, even if it’s difficult for you to hear. However, what they’re showing is empathy for your situation and suggestions for how to deal with it.

It may not come across as empathy, but it is in your friend’s unique way.

They Can Make Decisions Quickly

It usually doesn’t take long for a spontaneous, no-filter person to decide what to eat, where to go, or what activity to do. If you ever have an important decision that you need help navigating, you can probably count on this person to help you without overthinking the options.

Understand Cultural, Behavioral, and Familial Differences

Before being too judgmental of someone who seems to have no filter, you should consider a few crucial points.

First, some people get raised in a family of unfiltered people. Their parents and siblings all say what’s on their mind. Their family get-togethers are no-holds-barred gatherings of unfiltered conversations. Your family might be more reserved and quieter than others, which probably seems very different from outgoing people in your life.

Individuals brought up in specific cultures can also seem very abrupt in the way they talk to others, when, in fact, it’s part of their culture. Language and cultural behavior barriers can also make a difference. People with intellectual or behavioral disorders, such as autism or ADHD , sometimes seem like they have no filter because it’s challenging for them to control what they say.

Although being blatantly rude is never okay, it’s important to remember that what seems like rudeness to you may not be perceived the same way by everyone. Sometimes, unfiltered words aren’t easily controllable by the person giving them.

Think About Your Relationship

Who is this person to you? Is it:

• A close friend?
• A parent or sibling?
• Your child?
• Another relative?
• Your spouse/partner?
• A coworker?
• A professional you collaborate with (doctor, lawyer, accountant)?

The relationship between you and this no-filter person can significantly affect how you deal with the problem. It can be much more difficult for you to correct or address a relative than it would be for you to do the same with an acquaintance. On the other hand, words from a close friend or family member can hurt more deeply than words from someone you don’t know well.

Before you read the other tips for dealing with a person with no filter, you should consider your relationship, whether it’s healthy for you , and what it means to you. Navigating the problem with coworkers, for example, will require a different approach than with your child or spouse, especially if your boss or human resources needs to get involved.

In some cases, bringing in an outside source can help you get the situation under control. Working together with your partner to help your child, for instance, can give you extra support. In other cases, such as with a friend, you might decide to handle the problem on your own, so you don’t embarrass your friend.

Consider the Effects of the Problem on Others

Next, think about how this person’s inability to control their words might be affecting others, or if it affects others at all. Your best friend might only be unfiltered around you but shy around other friends in your group, probably because she feels close and comfortable with you.

That doesn’t make it okay to become a punching bag for your friend. But it’s also important to note that her words are only affecting you rather than others. This can also change the approach you take to curb your friend’s unfiltered ways, like having a heart-to-heart conversation instead of involving other friends.

However, if this person tends to speak without thinking to anyone they come across, you have a bigger problem to deal with that may require involvement from people outside of your relationship. This is especially true with coworkers, professionals you work with, and relatives.

Try Not to Take It Personally

It’s crucial to remember that, most of the time, people with no filter don’t mean to offend others. They just don’t tend to think about what they say before they say it. So, if someone says something to you that hurts your feelings, you should think about it for a moment.

Was this person saying it to hurt you purposefully ? Or, were they only blurting out words without thinking? They may even have been attempting to make a generalized statement that seemed more like a personal attack because of how they verbalized it.

The best thing you can do for yourself when you’re with an unfiltered person is to try not to take their comments personally. Let it roll off your back as you remind yourself that it’s probably not personal. It’s a challenge to do, but it’ll also help you protect your feelings while you try to navigate how to deal with or coach the other person into filtering their language.

Help Them Dodge the Awkwardness

Think about the last time you were with this person and caught yourself in an awkward interaction because of something they said. It’s possible that they, too, felt incredibly uncomfortable after realizing what they said and how it might have affected others, but they didn’t know how to defuse the situation.

In this case, you can try to step in and help. Make a lighthearted, non-offensive joke. Come to your friend’s defense and say, “I think what she meant to say was…” Or, change the subject to something else everyone can talk about.

Being there for the person and helping them maneuver themselves out of a sticky situation can be one of the best ways to support the individual without criticizing them or making them feel more embarrassed.

Ignore Inappropriate Comments

If possible, ignore comments that are rude, inappropriate, or meaningless, especially if you think the other person is making those comments to get a reaction. That may be the case in some situations, so you’ll need to gauge whether it’s happening.

Does this person keep making repetitive comments, almost like they’re trying to see how others will react to what they’re saying? If so, they’re thriving off the responses they get when they say something rude or offensive. If you don’t get reactive by showing anger, sadness, or frustration, then the novelty will eventually wear off.

If you’re with others when this person spouts rude comments, you can react by apologizing to them and ignoring the other person. A simple, “I’m truly sorry that my friend just said that. He shouldn’t have made that comment.” Explaining this shows that you hear what they’re saying, don’t accept it, and feel sorry for others who have to endure it, too, without being reactive and satisfying the offender.

Have a Mindful Response

Taking a few seconds to tune into your emotions when you’re around people without filters can help you create mindful responses that can be more impactful than reacting out of anger or frustration. Although ignoring comments can sometimes help, like when you’re around other people, it’s a good idea to respond to inappropriate behavior in more intimate settings.

This allows you to explain your feelings and how this person is affecting you. Before you give a response to something they say, take a second to breathe, think about what they said, and tune into how it makes you feel.

Then, explain your thoughts honestly. For example, “It really hurts me when you joke about me being a bad driver. I’ve been trying hard to be more careful. You say comments all the time that make me feel like I’m not making progress, and I’d appreciate it if you’d stop.”

This response explains your feelings, why they’re valid, and how this person has affected your confidence. Be clear in your communication, and make sure you say everything you needed to say without being aggressive or offensive.

Point It Out Kindly

No one is going to change overnight. You can’t expect a person who usually says whatever is on their mind to do that, either, especially if they’re not yet ready to make the full leap into filtered communication.

But what you can do is give them gentle reminders when they’re speaking without thinking. Small steps can go a long way, and they may have no idea how often they do this. You don’t necessarily need to point out every flawed comment, but you can give a quick look or tap on the shoulder when it happens to point it out.

The goal is to get them to become more mindful of controlling their words by recognizing when it happens. You don’t need to make them feel bad, too, to get the point across. Kindness and calmness can go a long way here.

Guide and Redirect Them When It Happens Again

Mistakes are going to happen when you’re dealing with no-filter people. They’re not always going to recognize when they’re saying something that comes off as rude. If this is someone that you’re very close to and want to see do better, then you’re going to need to ride the wave with them.

It starts with guidance. Once you’ve spent some time pointing out when the person makes unpleasant remarks, then move onto guiding them. During this phase, you’ll want to explain why their comments weren’t okay. For instance, “Commenting on someone’s weight is never reasonable. I don’t think he heard you, but imagine if he did? Someone else struggling with self-image could have heard, too.”

Use your kind words to help the person see how their words can harm others – even when the intended subject didn’t hear them. Words can be hugely impactful, but with gentle guidance from you, your friend, relative, or coworker can, hopefully, get on track with more mindful conversations.

Have a Strict “No-Gossip” Rule

One way that unfiltered people might display their habit is through gossiping. For example, before a work meeting, your coworker might start telling you rumors they’ve heard about other people who work in your office. Gossiping is not only rude, but it can be quite uncomfortable for you when someone pulls you into it.

It’s important to enact a strict “no-gossip” rule when you’re around this person. If they start talking about others, you can say, “No, thank you. I don’t want to talk or hear about anyone.” Try to disengage yourself from the conversation as quickly as possible without making a fuss or scene.

Or, walk away if they continue talking without respecting your choice. It’s impossible to gossip when no one is around to listen!

Again, depending on your relationship with this person, you might choose to get others involved. A gossipy coworker might need to be dealt with by human resources, especially if they’re affecting the overall atmosphere in your office .

Don’t Allow Them to Turn the Tables

A person might try to make you feel bad for offending them or being dramatic or sensitive when you confront them about their social tactics. When this happens, you might feel thrown off balance if you’re not expecting it. And if the person is convincing enough, they may even have you convinced that you did something wrong.

Stick to your guns and remain firm in how you’re feeling . Don’t back down or allow yourself to feel bullied, especially if you know that you were considerate in your conversation.

Try to remain calm and don’t get defensive. Reacting negatively to the person’s abrasiveness can quickly spiral the conversation into an argument, leading to no definite resolution. Instead, repeat what you initially said, including how the interactions made you feel and why.

If the person continues to take your words to the extreme and gets defensive, remove yourself from the conversation quickly to keep it from escalating. You can always revisit it later when you’ve both cooled down.

Take a Break to Collect Your Thoughts

It can be draining to consistently be the one to help the person in your life who remains unfiltered but know that you’re doing a good deed. If this is someone very close to you, then it can be beneficial for them to have your unwavering support. But their support shouldn’t come at the expense of your mental well-being.

When you feel like you need a break from this person, take one. It can be a five-minute break to hide in the bathroom, get your thoughts together, or even release a quick cry. Or, it could be a week-long break to rejuvenate yourself and get your head in the right space to continue helping.

Whatever you feel like you need, do it. You’re only going to be able to help this person as long as you have the motivation and desire to do so. By removing yourself from the situation for as long as you need, you’re giving yourself a necessary mental vacation that can prevent you from reacting negatively and affecting progress.

Patience can be tough to grasp when dealing with people who can’t control how their thoughts come out, but it’s necessary if you expect them to improve their behavior. Expressing anger or disappointment can end up reverting the progress you’ve made rather than propelling it forward.

It might help to talk about a long-term strategy with the person to keep making positive steps toward change. This conversation can help both of you understand what the goal is and how to get there while reminding you that the process can take time.

Write It All Down

Do you express your thoughts better when you write them down? Or, would writing a letter to the filter-free person make more of an impact than having a conversation with them about how they interact with others? If yes to either question, then you should consider writing a letter.

Not everyone responds well to confrontation when it’s right in front of them. However, a letter can come across as friendlier and more personal, which could be enough to provoke positive changes in your friend or loved one.

Instead of pointing out every conversational flaw the person makes, you can also jot it down or put it in a note on your phone. When the time comes for you to have a talk or write a letter to that person, you’ll have plenty of notes to support what you’re saying.

This strategy isn’t to bombard your friend with evidence. Instead, use it to guide your thoughts and words, so you can accurately explain how you feel with as much conviction as possible.

Writing can also come in handy if you use it to journal your thoughts rather than directing them to the person who’s bothering you. You might not always feel like it’s appropriate to confront a person with no filter but writing down your feelings can get them off your chest and help you feel more at peace after a stressful interaction.

Pull in Other Supportive Figures

There might be circumstances when getting support from other people could be the best move in dealing with an unfiltered person in your life. The support could come in the form of people who support you and your well-being or those who want to assist the other person in their self-improvement.

Examples of figures who might be able to help either party include:

• A parent, sibling, or relative
• A trusted coach or teacher
• A therapist or life coach
• A support group
• A church, religious leader, or spiritual group
• A teammate or coworker
• A friend or group of friends

You should find someone or a group of people you feel comfortable with sharing your thoughts. They might also assist you in assessing your relationship to determine whether it’s healthy to remain invested. They can also shed light on suggestions that could help you work through the situation.

If you believe you know of someone who could help your friend or loved one understand how to communicate with people better, then suggest this to your friend rather than asking an outsider for help. Doing so shows that you care without going over their head and potentially hurting their feelings.

Reconsider Your Relationship

If, after implementing the steps relevant to your relationship, the person doesn’t see their wrongdoing or care to improve, you’ll need to decide if your relationship is worth keeping. It’s time to reconsider what this person means to you and whether your relationship is good or bad for your well-being.

This reconsideration, unfortunately, can be tricky when your relationship is with someone you can’t easily cut off, like a relative. But you can find ways to decrease contact as much as possible, such as removing them from your social media channels and blocking text messages.

In the case of a working relationship that you can’t terminate, you may need to discuss the problem with your boss or human resources. If your relationship severely affects your work, then your company should find a way to navigate the problem that works for all parties involved.

Is it an unfiltered friend who’s causing drama? It might be time to let them go. If your attempts at talking to them and guiding them through conversations haven’t helped, then they may not be ready or willing to change their ways. It’s always okay to remove yourself from a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable, stressed, or anxious.

Remember: It’s your choice whether you want to help a person in your life who thrives on unfiltered communication. But it’s never a necessity to do so to the point of damaging your mental health. Tread lightly with your guidance, be patient, consider the perks of having an unfiltered acquaintance or loved one, and think about stepping back from someone unwilling to change for the better.

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Do we really ‘lose our filter’ as we age?

Lecturer/Research Fellow in Psychology, Flinders University

Associate Professor of Psychology, University of South Australia

Disclosure statement

Stephanie Wong receives funding from the National Health and Medical Research Council.

Hannah Keage does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

University of South Australia and Flinders University provide funding as members of The Conversation AU.

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Many of us will have experienced some unexpected honesty from the older people in our lives. Whether it’s grandma telling you your outfit is unflattering or grandpa saying he doesn’t like the meal you’ve prepared, we often explain it away by saying “Oh, don’t mind grandpa, he’s just lost his filter”.

But do we really have a “filter”, and do we lose it as we get older?

What do we mean when we say ‘filter’?

When someone has no “filter”, it means they say things without thinking about their audience. They may blurt out something rude, inappropriate, or unkind, without considering the likely consequences.

“Filters” are an important part of our everyday social interactions. A brief Monday morning chat with your boss is more complex than it may seem. For example, you might stop yourself from telling them they smell awful after their morning bike ride into the office and should’ve showered before your meeting. You might consider telling them about the fungal infection you discovered on your toenail over the weekend but decide against it. Of course, what you do or do not say also depends on how well you know them and what’s considered socially acceptable in your workplace.

Your “filter” relies on cognitive processes such as inhibitory control, which stops you from saying the first thing that pops into your mind. It also relies on social cognition, which refers to the ability to understand and predict other people’s behaviours, thoughts, and intentions. This helps us to recognise what behaviour is appropriate in a particular social setting and to adapt our behaviour based on this.

The prefrontal cortex, which is located within the frontal lobes of our brains, acts as our “filter”, helping us say and do things in a socially appropriate way. When this part of the brain isn’t functioning properly, we might act as though we’ve lost our “filter”.

Read more: Five common myths about the ageing brain and body

What happens to our ‘filter’ as we age?

As we get older, our brains start to shrink. This is a normal part of the ageing process known as brain atrophy. It affects how well our brain cells can communicate with one another. Importantly, brain atrophy doesn’t happen to all areas of the brain at once. It is particularly noticeable in the frontal lobes .

Researchers have linked age-related shrinking in the frontal lobes with declines in inhibitory control and social cognition . Studies have also found older adults respond differently to socially awkward situations than younger adults.

For example, older adults have more difficulty recognising when someone’s said something embarrassing or tactless , and show poorer understanding of sarcasm .

So as we get older, normal ageing processes in our brains may make it much easier for things to slip out through our “filters”.

Read more: What's happening in our bodies as we age?

What if it’s more than just a few slip-ups?

In some rare cases, losing your “filter” can be a sign of something more serious, such as damage to the frontal lobes due to a brain injury or stroke, or a neurodegenerative condition such as frontotemporal dementia .

People with frontotemporal dementia present with striking changes in their personality and social behaviour. This could involve losing their normal inhibitions, disregarding social conventions and other socially inappropriate or embarrassing behaviour.

However, these changes are completely out of character and are typically accompanied by other symptoms such as rigidity, loss of empathy, apathy, difficulties with reasoning and judgement, overeating or unusual food preferences and declines in self-care and personal hygiene.

Read more: Explainer: how is frontotemporal dementia different and what are the warning signs?

What other things could be at play?

Aside from changes in the brain that impact inhibitory control and social cognition, it could simply be that as we get older, we care less about what others think.

Compared to younger adults, older adults are less self-conscious , reporting fewer experiences of emotions such as shame, guilt, and embarrassment. They also have higher overall levels of happiness and life satisfaction .

Perhaps we learn to let go of our “filters” and embrace the social awkwardness as we get older. Perhaps grandpa really didn’t like your cooking, and feels secure enough to tell you.

So, what does this mean for those of us who seem to be losing our “filter”?

Based on what we know about the brain and ageing, blurting out a remark without thinking isn’t necessarily something to be alarmed about. And if you’re on the receiving end, try not to take it too personally. If these remarks seem out of character or extreme, however, consider raising this with other family members or a doctor.

• Frontotemporal dementia
• Social cognition

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American Idioms – Idiom Wizard Lists Over 5,500 Idioms & Slang Descriptions

American Idiom Dictionary

Speak your mind. Responding without a sense of decency. Lacking decency in speaking. Not controlling one’s impulses. ‘Filter’ is used in the sense of a moral compass, an appreciation of social mores. (Compare to Inside voice. )

“Don’t let  your grandpa speak at the meeting tonight,  he’ll tell like it is and get everyone upset because he has no filter.”

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#NoFilter: Experimenting With an Unedited Online Life

By Alex Frank

I’m here to admit that I’ve been living a lie. Or, to be more specific, I’ve been Instagramming one. Ever since I downloaded the app 151 weeks and 755 posts ago, my personal feed has evolved from quick snaps of my life into a calibrated false truth, a window into my world that has the rose-colored tint of careful cropping, selfie reshoots, and selective sharing. Though early posts were naive affairs, like grainy photos of friends’ cats and junk food, I’ve become increasingly sophisticated about messaging, as though I am a publicist for my own self, sending out clear, controlled images of the life I want to convey. Less messy photos of pizza and Diet Coke cans, more candlelit holiday dinners at fancy restaurants. This isn’t maniacal or orchestrated—I promise, I do not sit around strategizing about my “image.” Rather, what is so bothersome to me is how natural, instinctual even, the process of filtering my life has become. As I move through my day, I take photos and, without pause, intuitively analyze whether or not they are feed-worthy. Is the lighting good enough? Is that a double chin? Do too many selfies in one week make me look vain? What will my ex think? Am I #humblebragging too much? Am I not #humblebragging enough? The filter isn’t just on my phone anymore—it’s on my brain.

These are perhaps embarrassing things to admit about your own narcissism, but I have a feeling I am not the only one treating my online life as something to style rather than live. After all, 2014 was the year that some clever Internet whistleblowers uncovered evidence that celebrities like Kim Kardashian West and Beyoncé were possibly using Photoshop to make themselves look more attractive in their everyday posts. Once reserved for glossy magazine covers and expensive ad campaigns, Photoshop has somehow morphed into a daily necessity for buffing out all of life’s flaws. In some ways, this makes total sense. In an era in which there is both a seemingly insatiable appetite for images of celebrities and the ability to make fun of them anonymously on the Web, the pressure for stars to look perfect all the time is at an all-time high—the feed is hungry. In other ways, it’s a total bummer, not just for us, who are being shown a lie of perfection under a guise of intimacy, but for them, too. Why should anyone feel compelled to art-direct their very existence? Why isn’t reality good enough?

It’s not just stars who are under pressure to put out images constantly—we’re all micro celebrities to the people following our feeds. The question of how to portray one’s online self has become a central one. And one scroll through the 104,425,803 posts that have been tagged #nofilter at the time of this writing seemed to be confirmation that there is a growing cultural thirst for authenticity in the portrayal. But if the hashtag began as a rebellion against the overabundance of users enhancing their photos, it has since become just another smokescreen: In a study conducted last year, Mashable uncovered that about 11 percent of the photos tagged #nofilter are lies . This means that over 10 million photos in the current #nofilter feed are likely bogus. One enterprising developer has made a site called Filter Fakers on which you can enter the URL of an Instagram tagged #nofilter and find out if the poster is a poser.

What’s happening here with our fuzzy relationship to the facts? Perhaps it’s yet another expression of truthiness, that word coined by Stephen Colbert during the Bush era to refer to the administration’s predilection for cherry-picking facts that worked for the policies they were promoting. “We're not talking about truth, we're talking about something that seems like truth—the truth we want to exist,” Colbert said at the time. A little over ten years after George W. Bush declared “Mission Accomplished” in that flag-waving photo op, many of us are now truthiers, staging our own little photo shoots for Instagram and carefully selecting what we want the world to see. Before an image even makes it as far as the lens filter, it’s gone through the life filter. We show the world the person we wish we were, the truth as we’d like it to exist.

At a certain point, if you’re editing out anything that’s not perfect, it’s not a life anymore—it’s a press release. Spurred on by a colleague, I decided to experiment with making my Instagram a more honest place. For at least two weeks, I would attempt to document my life as it really is, within the realm of propriety. The rules were both simple and broad: I could photograph anything I wanted, but I would try to capture the average hours of my day as much as the more exciting, fleeting moments of weekends and parties.

By Kathleen Baird-Murray

By Christian Allaire

By Kate Lloyd

I began by hashtagging all of my Instagrams with #nofilter. If I was ’gramming something, I would always post the very first snap I took without editing, filtering, or specially cropping. I would try to shoot everything from my vantage point: craning over a computer screen while working, staring at my gym mat while stretching, gazing at the ceiling for a disco nap. There were pictures of my computer screen as I binge-watched Netflix , blurry images of a soul-crushing crowd at Barnes & Noble, and a fluorescent-lit capture of my daily 20-minute wait at Starbucks. This is not the stuff of legends, but that’s the point: It’s the humdrum reality that makes up most of my days. I snapped some good times, too, but without ever enhancing them into hands-in-the-air, FOMO-inducing images. My followers would see what I actually see.

And how did people react to my experiment? I admit that my own narcissism led me to anticipate that people would notice my shift in style, and that some people would care enough to wonder what had happened to make it change. If people didn’t love my new, honest approach, I hoped that they would conversely be repulsed, even offended, registering their boredom and disgust by casting me off into the Unfollow bin. But my project was met with a whimper, not a bang—break the Internet, I did not. My likes decreased into about half of what I used to get, but they did not disappear. One friend joked that she wanted to unfollow me but did not.

As it turns out, real life is somewhere in the middle of like and dislike, not exciting enough to garner hearts or #haters, more a shrug of the shoulders, perhaps epitomized by an emoticon that I related to very strongly in 2014: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. The uninterested response felt like its own validation: an appropriately regular reaction to an entirely regular life. After two weeks of #nofilter, I found I missed the dopamine shot of a flurry of likes following a particularly well-framed photo or the many comments I’d garner for a provocative one, and I reverted to my rosier approach during a subsequent trip to Puerto Rico. But maybe in 2015, I’ll finally be ready to fully embrace the equilibrium of the #nofilter life. If reality is good enough for me, it should be good enough for the Internet.

Vogue Daily

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