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June 8, 2023

The Fingerprints of Parents in College Essays

One question we at Ivy Coach sometimes get from parents during free consultations goes like this: “Can’t college admissions officers tell you had a hand in your students’ essays?” Our answer? “If college admissions officers suspected we had a hand in brainstorming and revising our students’ essays, we wouldn’t be very good at what we do, and our students wouldn’t be earning admission to their dream schools year after year over the last 30 years.”

You see, when we revise our students’ essays, we leave not one fingerprint in any one of these essays. We don’t use words that businesspeople, doctors, and lawyers use. We teach our students not to use big words when small words will do just fine. Thinking of using the word “plethora” or “copious”? You’re not the only student who learned these words in preparation for the SAT. Write “a lot” instead so it doesn’t appear like you’re trying to impress.

We teach our students to dare to write fragments. We teach our students to dare to defy the rules so many high school English teachers hammer into their heads. 

In our experience, teenagers write a certain way, and even those students with perfect or near-perfect reading scores on the SAT or ACT, with perfect scores on AP English Language and Composition and AP English Literature and Composition, aren’t strong writers. Yes, most high school students can’t write very well . It’s a sad truth. It was the case in 1993. It’s the case in 2023.

At Ivy Coach, we help make their prose much more compelling so that they stand out and effectively dare admissions officers not to offer them admission.

Do Parents Write College Essays?

Some parents  think  they’re good writers. As such, they feel confident attempting to spruce up — or even outright write — their child’s college essays. But their confidence is  sorely misplaced . Admissions officers  weren’t  born yesterday. They can so often tell when a parent wrote a college essay or even fine-tuned a student’s story. It’s typically quite noticeable.

The Invisible Fingerprint of Parents in College Essays

And, no, not just anyone should be editing college essays — and especially not parents. A few years ago, we read a terrific editorial in  The New York Times  penned by JM Farkas. The piece, aptly titled “ How I Know You Wrote Your Kid’s College Essay ,” references one specific fingerprint parents so often leave behind in college essays. It’s an invisible fingerprint . It’s one we’ve written about many times over the years on the pages of our college admissions blog.

So what might this invisible fingerprint be? It’s two spaces after a period. You see, many parents grew up using typewriters or word processors. Their English teachers taught them to place two spaces after each period. But kids these days don’t put two spaces after a period. Have you ever seen two spaces after a period on any of our blogs? Nope. Scan the pages of our website — just one space after each period.

The two spaces fingerprint is but one such fingerprint of parents in college admissions essays. Fancy words. Business-y buzzwords, even simple expressions like “next steps.” These are significant red flags in college essays that point to the assistance of a parent.

What Happens If a Parent Is Caught Writing a College Essay?

So what happens if an admissions officer at an elite university raises a red flag after reading a college essay that hints at a parent’s participation in the writing process?  That’s easy . The admissions officer will recommend denying the student admission without further consideration. It will cost a student any chance of admission.

We Leave No Fingerprint in Our Students’ College Essays

A few years ago, we came across an essay that was even written in the third person . The parent must have forgotten to write in the student’s voice. Oy vey is right! It’s so very easy to tell when parents — who are often not particularly good writers themselves — have a hand in a student’s college admissions essays. It’s also very easy to tell when bad high school English teachers , school counselors, and private college counselors have a hand in a student’s college admissions essays.

One of the reasons we at Ivy Coach are able to help our students earn admission to their dream schools year after year is because an admissions officer would never know we helped revise their essays. After all, good writing is about brainstorming and revising. It’s true for novels. It’s true for television scribes. It’s true for journalists. Through the revision process, students even become more persuasive writers. It’s a big part of Ivy Coach’s secret sauce, a sauce which happens to be delicious. Notice we didn’t say toothsome .

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Should Parents Help Students Write College Essays?

What’s covered:, how involved should parents be with college applications, 4 ways parents can help with college essays, 4 elements of a good college essay, where your student can get their essay edited.

High schoolers applying to college go through a lot—from filling out multiple applications, keeping up impressive grades and extracurriculars, and writing dozens of college essays. Parents might be tempted to help out their kids and ease some of their burden during this busy time. But, should parents help write their kids’ college essays?

When it comes to helping out with the college process, parents should act as more of a coach or cheerleader than a director. Rather than hovering over your student and telling them when to fill out certain applications, what to write in their essays, and what safety schools to apply to, take a step back and support them without smothering them.

As a coach, parents can guide their student to keep them on schedule, have productive conversations about different college options and financial aid, and offer feedback and edits on essays. It’s important that parents don’t step in and play the game for themselves, so to speak, but rather assist their kid in reaching their full potential.

Another role parents can play is the cheerleader: encourage them through this challenging time and keep them engaged even when they get burnt out. The application process isn’t easy for students or parents, but having someone in your corner to cheer you on will help motivate students to keep going.

Since parents should not be at the helm, they should not do anything active like writing essays. More importantly, a parent directly writing any part of an essay would be plagiarism, and admissions officers can pick up on it via software and their intuition. Essays must be written with the student’s authentic voice and ideas. Here are some things parents can do:

1. Proofread Drafts

Every essay a student writes will likely have to go through multiple drafts—each time tweaking grammar, cutting down words, adding details, moving around sentences, etc. Parents can help expedite this process by reading over the essay drafts and providing constructive feedback. Important details to check for include:

• Are there spelling errors or typos?
• Could the grammar be elevated with literary devices or different diction?
• Does this sound like my student speaking or a thesaurus? 
• Does the essay flow in a manner that is easy to follow?

2. Brainstorm Essay Topics

Figuring out how to answer each prompt can be difficult and exhausting when students have so many essays to write. This is a good place for parents to jump in and “coach” their students; sit down for a few hours and start brainstorming topics and themes that could work for various prompts. 

A good way to organize brainstorming sessions is to break down essay prompts into categories ( “Why This Major?”, “Extracurricular”, “Community Impact”, “Overcoming Challenges” , etc.) and come up with five to ten stories or answers for each category.

3. Help Students Recall Childhood Memories and Stories

Along the lines of brainstorming, parents can play a huge role in reminding their students of anecdotes from their childhood that could make for a good essay. While you shouldn’t recount stories from your point of view that would color their perspective, parents can show pictures and videos, talk through some of their fondest memories of their kids, and fill in any gaps in stories kids partially remember.

4. Help Students Reflect on Who They Are

One of the important aspects of college essays is the ability to engage in self reflection and think about your character development and growth. This can be a lot for a teenager to do on their own, so it’s a good place for parents to provide some extra support.

Walk your child through some brainstorming exercises. Ask questions like “What three words would best describe you”, “What’s a good example of how you approach a challenge/new idea/etc”, “What are your personal and career goals”,  and “How have you grown as a person since you were younger” .

Another way parents can help their kids is by ensuring they cover the bases that make a good essay. Make sure to check out our ultimate guide to college essays to learn how to write a good essay, but below are a handful of the things to check for:

1. Answers the 4 Core Questions

When it comes to a strong college essay, there are four questions that should be answered. These are:

• “Who Am I?”
• “Why Am I Here?”
• “What is Unique About Me?”
• “What Matters to Me?”

These might seem like daunting philosophical questions, but with an intentional, well-crafted essay, you’ll find that the answers to these questions come naturally. Perhaps a more helpful way to look at these questions would be the following:

• What are your personality traits?
• What was your journey through high school? What were you interested in and found meaningful? How have you evolved as you have grown?
• Between your interests, skills, way of thinking, and personality, why are you different from other applicants?
• What is something you care deeply about above all else?

2. Author’s Voice is Authentic and Approachable

Essays are the one opportunity for admissions committees to hear directly from the applicant. For that reason, the essay should sound like a high school student wrote it. Without being overly casual, make sure the tone of the essay reads like a conversation with a friend.

Don’t rely too heavily on a thesaurus and don’t worry about stuffing the essay full of metaphors and figurative language—this isn’t an essay for an English class!

3. Shows Instead of Tells

While the advice to “ show not tell ” in your writing might not be new, it could not be more important. What truly sets apart a good essay from a great essay is the ability to paint a picture for the reader with imagery. 

A sentence like this, “I love the thrill of competing in the Math Olympiad,” simply tells the reader what the student enjoys. However, look at the difference when a sentence shows us what a student loves: “ Badum. Badum. Badum. The heavy thumping of my heart echoed painfully in my ears as a droplet of sweat made a lazy trail down my back. Adrenaline coursing through my veins, I whispered “ 7? ” as the time ran out.”

3. Avoids Cliches

Imagine reading through thousands upon thousands of essays every year as an admissions officer. After your 50th essay about scoring the winning goal at the soccer game, being changed by a volunteer trip to another country, or some other overused topic, you’ll no longer connect with these stories.

No matter how beautifully an essay is written, a cliche topic just makes admissions officers want to groan and get to the next one. Make sure your essay doesn’t fall into a traditional cliche topic to make it engaging and enjoyable to read.

4. Includes an Anecdote or Personal Story

Anecdotes bring excitement and personal depth to essays. They provide an easy way for a student to show what was happening in the moment that had such a profound impact on them. Including an anecdote also facilitates personal reflection because there is a solid foundation established. Once the reader can connect with a story, they are able to better empathize with the student and appreciate their character.

Editing college essays is a great way for parents to get involved, but it can be time consuming to read through multiple essays. Luckily, CollegeVine offers two avenues for students to get their essays reviewed. 

Our free Peer Essay Review tool allows students to get a free review of their essay from another student. Students can also improve their own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If students want a college admissions expert to review their essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for your student to improve their chances of getting into their dream school!

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The Ultimate Guide to College Essay Writing for Parents: How to Support Your Child

Support your child through their college essay journey. Overcome common challenges like rejection letters and writer's block. Find out the best practices to be a supportive parent during application season in this article!

So, your child has narrowed down their list of colleges, and now comes the daunting task of writing multiple essays, including personal statements and school-specific supplements. You as a parent might be wondering, how can I help That’s where this guide on college essay writing for parents comes in. Hint: You will not be writing the essay.Finding the right balance between providing assistance and respecting their autonomy can be tricky. After all, teenagers often need space to express themselves, but they may also benefit from some guidance.The personal statement itself can be a challenging task for many students. It requires a different writing style than they are accustomed to in school. You may have concerns about offering too much help and crossing into the territory of plagiarism or compromising your academic integrity.On the other hand, you may worry that your child needs to enhance their writing skills, and you start Googling how to write a college essay to make sure they're doing it correctly. But WAIT. It's essential to find the "Goldilocks Zone" where you honor their boundaries while providing the necessary support.In this guide, let's find out what parental support you can provide your child during the writing process.

What is a college essay

Most students will use the Common App when applying to colleges and universities in the U.S., while fewer schools prefer their own system or the Coalition application. Whether it's the Common App or another, most universities ask students to submit a personal statement or essay as a crucial part of their application. The college application essays allow students to showcase their unique qualities, experiences, and perspectives to the admissions committees.Let's look at one of the Common App prompts to give you an idea."Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story." Here, students can delve into a personal story or experience that has shaped who they are and how it relates to their aspirations.With a limit of 650 words or fewer, students must carefully craft their essays , expressing themselves authentically and concisely. It's a chance to highlight their strengths, passions, and what makes them stand out from other applicants.Check out more college essays for parents to help your child.

What are some common college essay writing challenges

Here are some common challenges that students may face when writing their college essays:

Choosing a compelling topic

Your child might need help selecting a topic that showcases their unique qualities and experiences. For example, they may need help deciding whether to write about a personal achievement, a challenging life event, or a meaningful hobby.

Organizing their thoughts

Your child finds it challenging to structure their essay clearly and cohesively. They may have numerous ideas but need help to present them logically and engagingly.

Finding their voice

Developing a distinct writing style can take time for many students. They may need help to strike the right balance between sounding authentic and maintaining a formal tone.

Meeting word limits

With word limits imposed by college applications, students may need help expressing their thoughts concisely. They may need help cutting down their essay while conveying their message effectively.

Overcoming self-doubt

Students often need help with self-doubt and worry about whether their essay is good enough. They may question their writing abilities or compare themselves to others, hindering their creativity and confidence.

Editing and revising

After writing a draft, students need to revise and edit their essays. It can be challenging to objectively evaluate their work and make necessary improvements.

A parent's role in the college essay process

It's important that students write their college essays and that you give empathetic support. They may not want you involved. They might also be frustrated with the process or nervous to ask for help. Try to empathize and understand where you fit. Ultimately, accept that they might not want or need help!Here are some tips for college essay writing for parents to help you support your child in the process:

Empathetic support

Understand that writing college essays is a personal journey for your child. Respect their boundaries and provide emotional support. Let them know you're there for them, whether they want assistance or prefer to work independently.

Encourage they start early

Motivate your child to start early to avoid last-minute stress. Emphasize the importance of time management and planning to allow for thoughtful reflection and revisions.

Brainstorming assistance

Help your child brainstorm ideas by engaging in open and meaningful conversations. Encourage them to explore their passions, experiences, and values that could be compelling essay topics.

Provide direction, not content

Guide your child by asking thought-provoking questions and offering suggestions, but ensure they maintain ownership of their essays. Encourage them to express their unique voice and perspectives.[caption id="attachment_3113" align="aligncenter" width="857"]

Image by storyset on Freepik[/caption]

Research expert opinions

Look for credible resources or articles online that provide insights into the college essay process. Share helpful tips and advice from experts to support your child's understanding and approach.

Manage expectations

Discuss the importance of balance and realistic expectations. Help your child understand that the college essay is just one part of the application process and that their worth extends beyond their essays.

Provide resources

Share books, websites, or workshops that guide writing college essays. These resources can provide valuable tools and techniques to enhance their writing skills.

Celebrate accomplishments

Recognize and celebrate each milestone achieved during the essay writing process. Offer praise and encouragement to boost your child's confidence and motivation.

How can you provide guidance rather than content

Here are some ways you can guide your child without crossing the line into writing their college essays for them:

Prompt evaluation

Familiarize yourself with the essay prompts provided by the colleges or universities your child is applying to. Help them analyze and understand the expectations of each prompt, discussing potential approaches and angles they can explore.

Proofread for grammar

Offer to proofread your child's essays for grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors. By providing a fresh pair of eyes, you can help catch any mistakes or inconsistencies they might have missed.

Provide constructive feedback

Instead of rewriting their essays, provide thoughtful feedback that helps improve their writing. Focus on areas such as clarity of ideas, organization, coherence, and the overall impact of their essay. Encourage them to revise and refine their work based on your suggestions. Make sure to read essay writing tips to ensure this.

Advice for rejection letter season

A rejection letter for college is a formal notification sent to a student by a college or university informing them that their application for admission has been denied. It is disappointing for the student who hoped to secure a spot at that particular institution. Rejection letters typically provide a brief explanation or a generic response stating that the applicant's qualifications or fit for the college did not meet the criteria or competition for admission.

Validate their feelings

Receiving a rejection letter can be challenging for your child, and it's important to acknowledge their disappointment. Let them know it's okay to feel upset or frustrated, and assure them that their feelings are valid. Remind them that many successful people have faced rejection before finding their path to success.

Focus on the bigger picture

Remind your child that the college admissions process is just one part of their journey. Encourage them to reflect on their accomplishments, strengths, and the exciting opportunities ahead. Help them see that there are multiple paths to success and that rejection can redirect them toward a better fit for their future.

Explore other options

Use this opportunity to explore alternative colleges or universities that may better fit your child's goals and aspirations. Encourage them to consider different pathways, such as community colleges, transfer options, or gap year programs. Remind them that there are numerous opportunities to thrive academically and personally.

Celebrate future possibilities

Shift the focus from disappointment to excitement about future possibilities. Help your child envision new opportunities, new friendships, and new adventures that await them. Encourage them to stay positive, remain resilient, and embrace the journey ahead.

The big picture

In conclusion, navigating the college admissions process can be a rollercoaster ride of emotions for both parents and students. However, with the proper support and guidance, you can confidently help your child navigate this journey. Remember:

• Validate your child's feelings and provide empathy during rejection letter season.
• Remember the bigger picture, emphasizing that a single rejection does not define their future success.
• Explore alternative options and encourage your child to consider different pathways that align better with their goals.
• Celebrate the exciting possibilities and help your child maintain a positive outlook.

At Lessonpal , we understand the importance of personalized support during critical moments like the college admissions process. Whether your child needs help with essay writing, test preparation, or any other academic support, Lessonpal can connect you with experienced tutors to meet their needs.

Frequently asked questions

Is it okay to write about depression in a college essay.

It is acceptable to share an experience with mental illness, including depression, in a college essay. However, the key is to ensure that the essay effectively demonstrates how they’ve reflected, who they are as a person, and how this experience has shaped them into a strong candidate for that school.

What is the role of the college essay

The role of a college essay is to provide students with an opportunity to showcase their personal qualities, experiences, and perspectives to college admissions committees. It goes beyond academic achievements and test scores, allowing students to convey their unique voices and demonstrate their potential as a valuable addition to the college community. This guide to college essay writing for parents should help you support your child with this process.

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The Parents’ Role in the College Essay

To the ever-under-appreciated parents of teenagers,

We know how hard it is to be parents. You’re walking a fine line between wanting what is best for your children and trying to let them make their own decisions (and, let’s be honest, their own mistakes). Your child will only apply to college once, and it can be difficult to know how to balance your parental instincts with letting your student take ownership of the process. The good news is that we are here to make your life a little easier by allowing you to take a step back while we harangue your child to help get him where he needs to be in the admissions process.

Let’s address what’s probably the most stressful part of our journey together: the college essays. We will tackle this in three parts: first, we will discuss how most kids approach their essays, how Passport Admissions works with your child on their essays, and the best role of parents in this process.

How Most Kids Approach the College Essay

Most seventeen-year-olds think, “What can I say that will make colleges accept me?” They write essays based on what they believe colleges want to hear. And as a result, most kids make crucial mistakes in their college essays.

Mistake #1 - Most kids brag too much in their college essays.

How many valedictorians apply to college? All of them. How many class presidents? All of them. How many team captains? You get the idea.

There is virtually nothing that kids can brag about that will sell themselves to an admissions office. When a student tries to brag about himself in his essay: a) it doesn't work, and b) the essay blends into the pile of all the other applicants who are trying to do the same thing.

Mistake #2 - Most kids write essays that look and sound the same.

A former admissions officer for UVA, Parke Muth, once compared the college essay to a Big Mac.  Not because the essays are tasty and not because they have layers (though it can be argued that the college essay, like the Big Mac, is hazardous to your health). No, the college essay is like a Big Mac, because no matter where you go, the essays look and taste the same. Thus, Muth coined the term McEssay to refer to the generic college essay.

McEssays typically fall into one of the following five flavors. You will want to avoid these topics at all costs.

• The hard work essay - "Being captain of the soccer team involved a lot of hard work, but I learned important lessons in leadership and perseverance."
• The family trip to Europe essay - "Going to France showed me just how different other cultures are."
• The summer program for gifted youth essay - "I am so fortunate to have been able to attend the National Youth Leadership Conference."
• The athletics essay - "We lost the championship, but we came together as a team."
• The saving the world through community service essay - "Building houses in Mexico was so rewarding."

We know these experiences have been meaningful to many of our students. But writing a McEssay makes a student blend in with every other applicant, so we have to find a unique topic.

Mistake #3 - Most kids polish all of the personality out of their essays.

Most students write their college essays by committee, seeking input and feedback from multiple teachers and parents, who - despite good intentions - will polish all of the life and personality out of the essay. Your teenager should sound like a teenager in his college essay. Consider the following excerpts:

"My nascent drum career began when I was twelve. Learning to play the drums was quite challenging at first, because I had little formal training and needed to learn more about rhythm and chord structure in order to contribute to my band. After rehearsing for innumerable hours, I eventually was able to keep up, but I still needed more help. I decided to get lessons to help improve my overall musical knowledge and particularly improve my music theory. In the end, the lessons paid off, and our band was better than ever."

"A band's drummer is the stupid one. He is the one paid not to write songs or to think, but to sit in the back and hit his instrument, as he is clearly far too idiotic to do anything more. I am a drummer, and while I like to think I am above this stereotype, I do sit in the back, behind all the “real musicians,” blissfully ignorant of ongoing deliberation over “What capo he needs to be in to be in the key of G”, perfectly happy that I understand none of it and absolutely satisfied with my lack of involvement, or responsibility to the band’s success. This being said, I am a good drummer, and when a musician needed a moron - I was a solid choice."

Which sounds like a high school student, and which like a parent? In revising an essay, it is crucial to keep the voice of the student and not to make it sound like it was written by a 40-year-old.

The Primary Purpose of the College Essay

The primary purpose of the college essay is to let the college get to know you and like you. That's it. When evaluating a college essay, we ask:

• What do we learn about you?
• Do we like you?
• Is it interesting?
• Is it generally free from grammatical and stylistic errors?

What role should parents play?

You know your kid a lot better than we do. We can't tell you exactly how much parental involvement will be the right amount for your student.

But we can at least share this insight about the college essays: the students who have had the most success have been the ones whose parents have been involved the least. Almost without fail, the students who have been accepted into their top choice colleges have been the ones whose parents have trusted their student to write great essays, helped their student only when asked, and otherwise stayed out of the process entirely.  And of course, these are the same families that seem to most enjoy the last year of their child living at home.

So there you have it. We hope that you are as excited as we are to help your student write the best essays she can write. Remember that we are not only experts on this stuff, but we really, really enjoy doing it. For us, editing is fun, and getting to know your student and his passions is what makes our jobs interesting and worthwhile.

If you have questions or want help with your college essay, schedule a free introductory meeting with one of our college advisors.

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Should You Help With the College Essay? 4 Questions to Ask First

Guest contributor.

By Brad Schiller, CEO & Founder of Prompt

The college process can strain parent-child relationships.

There’s a list of colleges to make. There are conversations about staying close to home or moving away and about your family’s budget for higher education.

And maybe the most dreaded part of the process, there are college essays to write .

Although the college essay is a source of stress for students, it’s also a place where parents can’t resist jumping in to help.

Despite your instincts, I implore you to take a step back and consider your teenager’s situation.

By senior year of high school, many kids have their own identities and values, which may or may not align with yours. Your teen is getting essay advice from counselors, teachers, peers, family members, and maybe coaches or consultants.

Despite (or because of) all of this information bombarding them, your teen might not have the best understanding of what college admissions officers are looking for in an essay.

When you combine these factors, it becomes clear that parents can benefit from thinking twice about helping their kids with their college essays.

To guide you on the decision of whether or not to help your teen with their college essay, I have four questions for you to consider.

Answer These Questions Before Reading Your Teen's Essay

1. do you currently have a stable relationship with your teen.

Senior year can be stressful for families. And college applications may not be the only area of conflict as your 17- or 18-year old becomes more independent and pushes boundaries.

If you’re going to try to help your teen with their college essay, consider the additional stress these interactions may place on your relationship.

You can support them throughout the college application process without being the one to read and provide feedback on their essay. They may need help researching scholarships, or want someone to go with them to tour a campus or two. Maybe you can help them prepare for an admissions interview. Or maybe they just need a little extra pampering as they juggle their busy senior year schedule.

2. Does your teen take your advice in other areas?

It’s not just you. Many teens have established their own ideas about what is right and wrong, good and bad, etc. They may be less likely to take your advice right now.

Look elsewhere: Do they take your advice when choosing a summer job? Deciding what they might want to study in college? Or even (gulp) how to navigate relationships?

Be honest with yourself and recognize that protecting your existing relationship with your teen should take precedence over your desire to provide feedback on their writing.

With that said, if you and your teen have a relationship based on giving and taking advice, and you are used to working with them on these kinds of projects, it might be worth trying to support them.

Still, be aware of the issues of time and deadlines below.

3. Does your teen tend to procrastinate?

Here’s a shocking statistic: 90% or more of college applicants submit their applications 48 hours or closer to the deadline. Only one out of 10 teens avoids procrastinating on college apps.

Which group does your teen fall into? This answer matters for your decision to help them with their college essay.

If your student hasn’t started working on their essay yet, and you remind them to do so, you’ll be seen as nagging. Every time you ask them about the essay, it can create more anxiety and conflict.

Even the most self-motivated students struggle with writing college essays because it’s such a mentally daunting task.

Fortunately, this may not be a bad thing. Researcher and author Adam Grant has noted that it can be beneficial to procrastinate on mentally daunting tasks because it gives the brain more time to cement its thinking.

That doesn’t mean your teen will be any less bothered by your nudges to get them started.

If your teen is a procrastinator and you feel it may get in the way of them submitting their best quality work, consider an essay coach to help your teen stay on track throughout the process.

4. Have you estimated the time it will take to provide solid support?

Parents often begin helping their teens with their college essays with the perspective that this experience will be similar to helping with a homework assignment.

This couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Providing adequate support to your teen on their college essay will likely take between five and 10 hours at a minimum. If your teen is applying to multiple essay-intensive schools, you could be looking at up to 40 hours of essay support.

If you have that much free time to devote to the process, then providing help could be a good option. But you don’t want to begin helping your teen, then need to pull back because the process is taking too long.

A Fun, Helpful Way to Support Them With Their Essay

Despite these questions, many parents will still try to help their teen with college essays.

If you’re going to help, try this challenge, which can make the process better for everyone. Here’s how it works:

Set a deadline with your teen of when both of you will write a college essay . If this idea stresses you out because of how busy you are, you are becoming more empathetic to your teen’s experience already.

After empathizing with your teen’s stress about getting started, write your essay. Start by talking over the Common Application essay prompts and deciding which ones appeal to you. You might choose a different prompt than the one your teen will be working on.

Important: write the essay from the perspective of when you were 17 or 18. Not only will your teen respect you for writing your own essay, but they will also get a glimpse into the mindset of their parent from decades ago.

Then, when you’re done, make a fun evening out of it by reading your essays out loud together, or trading them and providing feedback.

At the end, you'll have shared a bonding experience, your teen will have a new level of respect for you and understanding of you, and you’ll have more empathy for the challenge they’re facing.

Make This Year as Good as It Can Be

For many families, a teen’s senior year of high school is the last time parents and child will live together full-time.

Whether that ends up being the case or not, take steps to make it an enjoyable year:

• Reduce conflict, and build a stronger relationship
• Avoid unnecessary stress about college apps and essays
• Offer resources to help them do their best work and finish early

There are many options available today for parents who want to support their teens in writing great college essays, so teens can get into the target and reach schools on their lists:

• Use an essay coaching company to assist with the written parts of the application. Explore this review of several essay coaching options .
• There are also independent educational consultants (IECs) in your area who can help provide your teen with guidance on the entire college search and application process.

After working with over 50,000 students on their college essays, I’ve learned an important lesson that I’d like to share with you: Most teens won’t ask for help because they don’t want to bother their parents with the time or money it might cost to provide it.

But if you look into the options and offer your teen the help they may need, they’ll rarely turn it down. Take some time to decide on the best way to support your teen through the process, and make their senior year as stress-free as it can be.

Brad Schiller is an MIT graduate, as well as the CEO and Co-Founder of Prompt, the world’s most respected and fastest-growing college essay coaching and feedback company. Visit the Prompt website , or connect with them on Facebook , Twitter or LinkedIn .

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A parents guide to the college admission essay.

My son started with Taekwondo when he was five. A few weeks ago, he was invited to test for his black belt. It’s a big accomplishment and he’s definitely excited. My wife and I are proud of him (and honestly kind of proud of ourselves too- that’s lot of driving, watching, and paying over the past six years).

Before a student can officially participate in the test, there are two final assignments to qualify.

One- you must build a carrying case for an egg and carry it around without breaking it for the week prior to the exam.

Two- In order to receive said egg, you must write a 3-5-page essay about your journey to this point, lessons learned, and how Taekwondo has impacted your life.

Now, I’ve seen him spar against black belts and get knocked down pretty hard numerous times. I’ve seen him get verbally lambasted by the master in front of the entire class and on-looking parents. He’s twisted ankles and bruised ribs along the way. But nothing has made me question whether or not he can actually achieve this more than the 3-5-page essay assignment.

While he has seen friends test for their black belts in the past, somehow this facet of the process escaped him too. “3 pages?!” he said exasperated and then went rolling onto the couch and smothering himself with throw blankets and pillows. “Oh… my…. gosh!” he said with a mix of desperation and exasperation.

As he continued muttering incoherently, my wife looked at me with her head slightly tilted, nodded in his direction and mouthed, “Have fun with that…” (I mouthed something back, but this is a PG-ish blog, so I’m leaving that out.)

If you are the parent of a senior, you may have experienced some of this same joint angst in recent weeks or months. The likelihood is that with more deadlines coming up for colleges, it’s not quite over either. Sorry to broach this if you were having an otherwise carefree and blissful day (please go immediately back to sipping your chamomile and mindfulness practices after you’ve read this).

Whether it be for college, Taekwondo, scholarships, job interviews, etc., as parents we simply want our kids to meet deadlines, write well, put their best foot forward, and not procrastinate. We know we should not do the work for them, but it is admittedly tempting.

Before you lose your mind in or snatch their laptop in frustration and begin writing or re-writing your daughter’s or son’s essay, I want to give you three tips to help them improve their essay and get it done, and then two others to help you keep perspective and sanity.

TIPS FOR STUDENTS

Have them voice record. My son had literally no idea where to start. The mere mention of three pages sent him tumbling over furniture and burying himself in a mixture of fleece and wool (not really the stuff of black belts, but I did not mention that to him at the time).

Whether they have not started on their essay, are merely brainstorming, or if they have been looking at a blinking cursor for the last three days, verbalizing their thoughts both changes and improves their writing. Suggest they grab their phone and simply get ideas out. This is not supposed to be perfect. Just words, phrases, quick sentences. Totally fine if they are not in a particular order or connected with perfect conjunctions or transition words. Just start expressing. Note : This is also helpful when they are done (or think they are done). We have all read an email or report we’ve written and thought it made perfect sense. Then, after hitting send, we realize we’ve left out a word or transposed two. As we know from reading books out loud to kids, there is great power in reading aloud. Suggest that before hitting submit, they print their essay out and actually read it again out loud.

Suggest they move around. In most cases, students are using mobile devices to apply—laptop, IPad, etc. If they’ve come into the kitchen eight times for snacks over a 47-minute period, you can officially diagnose them with writer’s block (citation: Dr. George P. Burdell, 1885).  You’ll need to find your moment, but encourage them to change locations. Go out on the porch. Head to a coffee shop. Find a table at the local park. Change of scenery does us all good. Charge the device and go.

Tell them to be specific. Many admission readers are reviewing between 30 and 50 essays a day. At Georgia Tech right now, we have 22,000 Early Action apps to consider before mid-January. That is a lot of different students, situations, lives, and stories. Think about the last time you watched American Ninja Warrior or the Bachelor (insert your show of choice here where multiple people are introduced). What helps us remember who is who? Specifics. We remember the guy from Indiana who grew up boxing with his cousin. We can vividly recall the picture they flashed on the screen of the barn with the Sharpie stenciled sign behind their makeshift ring. Why? Because it is specific. One of the best ways you can help your son/daughter write a “good” essay is by insuring that it is specific and unique to them. This is what admission folks mean when they say, “We just want to hear their voice…” or “tell us about your passions…”

Initially, I asked my son to simply type out what he wanted to say. Here are three verbatim sentences he wrote (and when I say verbatim, I mean I literally copied and pasted): Taekwondo has not always been easy. There have been times that I have wanted to quit. I like sparring.

He’s eleven. I get it. So after I read his first draft (which took him about thirty minutes to come up with and only included about four other sentences), we went for a walk. I brought my phone and just asked him a bunch of questions. Anytime he gave me something general (see above), I asked him to tell me a story: When did you want to quit? Who do you like sparring with and tell me about a specific time- what kicks and punches did you use, etc.? I understand that you are likely not going to be strolling your neighborhood asking your 17-year-old these types of questions, but the concept is the same. Be specific. Give details.

Parents are often tempted to re-write or edit essays by inserting multi-syllabic words or focusing on the transition from one paragraph to the next. Those suggestions are not entirely unhelpful. But what a reader is looking for is detail. Put yourself in the reader’s shoes. They have already read 37 other essays that day. Daylight savings has kicked in and it’s cloudy outside. They just had their 2 p.m. coffee and are thinking about the text they just got asking if they can swing by the grocery store on the way home later.

Tell them a story. Be specific. Be memorable. “Taekwondo has not always been easy”…not memorable.

TIPS FOR PARENTS

It’s a thing. But it’s not the only thing. Yes, colleges require essays. They read them. They matter. Yes, readers want them to be good. They score them. They make notes and bring the subject and insight gained from essay up in committee. They are expecting them to be grammatically sound and flow well. However, the truth is they matter less than most students/parents think. For most schools if a student is solid inside the classroom, involved and impacting people outside the classroom, the essay is not going to be the tipping point. Decisions on a student like that are far more influenced by supply and demand and institutional priorities (where you are from, what you want to study, what the school is trying to increase or grow or achieve in their community) than an essay.

You’ll read on Reddit or see the video of a student on YouTube say, “Yea. I had seven APs and did well on my SATs, but I think it was really my essay that got me in.” No it wasn’t. That student was admitted because she had chosen rigorous courses and done well, had an impact on people outside the classroom in high school, and wrote an essay that was specific and (to use a very precise term here) not bad.

Similarly, my son’s essay for Taekwondo matters. His master is going to read it. It needs to not suck. But as long as he’s put solid effort and thought into it, the decision on whether or not he receives his black belt is going to come down to his performance and other factors (like that stinking egg).

Now, I understand you can read this one of two ways. A- What a relief! My daughter/son just needs to be specific and basically not write a bad essay. B- That is a bunch of crap. This is the magic bullet and everything hinges on it.

Admittedly, I am writing this to give you some solace. But I’m not going to lie to you. (Hint: The answer is A).

Go off speed. Earlier this week I had the opportunity to participate in a Facebook Live interview with Grown and Flown (which is a great organization that produces a ton of good content for parents). At the end, for some reason my internet connection cut out. The question I was unable to answer was essentially, “What do parents do when their son/daughter has not finished their essay. Or when deadlines to schools are approaching and it feels like everything hangs in the balance?” Should you just finish it for them? Should you “make them” apply to two more schools or that one in particular. How do you motivate them to just get it done for God’s sake?!!

Maybe I’m being influenced by what I thought was a riveting World Series, but my answer is to throw an off speed pitch. The truth is that there is never a good time to have this conversation. If you bring it up again, things are going to go south quick. There is never going to be a “right time” or “right place.” So instead, I’m encouraging you to write also. Yes, it’s old school. Pick up a pen and piece of paper and write them a letter. This does not have to be an epistle. Simple is always best. Just remind them that you love them. Tell them you are proud of them and concerned because they have worked hard and deserve to put their best foot forward, i.e. you want them to succeed. Let them know you are there to help, but know you won’t be next year when they’re at school. And then have a glass of wine, go for a walk, i.e. let it go.

Tough for everyone but the truth is that the admission process is a necessary time for parents to also realize that kids will need to do their work, manage their time, and fight their own battles at college very soon- and certainly in life beyond. Put it down on paper. Find a good envelope and leave it for them to read on their own time and terms. Then, to reiterate, wine and a walk—very important.

Author: Rick Clark

Rick Clark is the Executive Director of Strategic Student Access at Georgia Tech. He has served on a number of national advisory and governing boards at the state, regional, and national level. Rick travels annually to U.S. embassies through the Department of State to discuss the admission process and landscape of higher education. He is the co-author of the book The Truth about College Admission: A Family Guide to Getting In and Staying Together, and a companion workbook published under the same title. A native of Atlanta, he earned a B.A. from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and a M.Ed. from Georgia State University. Prior to coming to Tech, Rick was on the admissions staff at Georgia State, The McCallie School and Wake Forest University. @clark2college View all posts by Rick Clark

clock This article was published more than  6 years ago

Parents, don’t write that college essay. (Here’s how to help instead.)

When Sue O’Connell’s daughter asked her to take a peek at the college admissions essay she’d written, the Chicago-area mom had no problem telling her to go back to the drawing board and start the whole process over. O’Connell wasn’t being cruel, nor was she the average mom biting her nails through the admissions process.

The former lawyer is a college admissions coach, someone other parents hire to walk their teens through the sometimes confounding process of getting into the school of their dreams.

What college admissions officers say they want in a candidate

Essay writing is just a part of that application puzzle, but it’s become an increasingly big one for college coaches such as O’Connell, a growing breed of professionals who get paid by parents to beseech their teenagers to dig just a little bit deeper to set themselves apart from their peers.

Just 500 to 700 words long, the admissions essay is make-it-or-break-it for your average high school senior. They have to be unique but poignant, smart but not smart-alecky. Kids have to sell themselves without sounding selfish or arrogant. Meanwhile hundreds of thousands of other kids are doing the same exact thing at the same exact time, all trying to stand out.

“Not every college or university has the chance to meet every applicant,” says Stephanie S. Espina, director of freshman admissions at Adelphi University in Garden City, N.Y. “The essay is an opportunity to get to know the student on a more personal level . . . a way for a student to convey their interests, passions, reflections or future goals.”

Want your child to get into college and have a good life? Here’s how.

But college isn’t just about kids’ goals anymore. Parents are involved, and in some ways that’s a good thing. A joint study by researchers from UCLA and the American Academy of Pediatrics that was published in the journal Pediatrics in 2015 shows a direct link between a parent’s expectation that a child will attend college and the child’s academic success in primary and secondary school.

But parental expectation is like the mythical hydra when it comes to college admissions. Where one head may be silenced with a glowing recommendation letter from a basketball coach or band director, another is already popping up to shout, “But what about that essay!?”

“Parents think there has to be a secret handshake to get into college,” says Jim Jump , academic dean and director of guidance at St. Christopher’s School in Richmond and a past president of the National Association for College Admission Counseling. He blames essay obsession on an obsession with prestige. Most kids may be able to get into their local community college, and if they have the grades and a decent set of extracurriculars, they’ll probably make the cut at a state school.

“Where the essay really counts is if you’re a bubble candidate, where your grades are just so-so, and at very highly selective schools,” Jump says.

Like counselors at other high schools throughout the country, Jump has seen a spike in the number of parents turning to paid coaches for that little extra help.

For parents who want to go even further, type “college essay” into Fiverr — an online marketplace to find freelancers to do just about anything for you — and dozens of responses pop up, offers ranging from ‘I will edit your college essay” to the more carefully worded “I will perfectly handle your college essay.” Other sites are less cagey, blatantly offering to sell you an admissions essay for less than $30.

“I think that is a terrible trend and a risky trend,” O’Connell says of buying your kid an entire essay. This may seem obvious, but there is clearly a market for it. “They’re going to write something completely generic. They’re not going to write what’s really in your heart.”

Not to mention the ethical issues that come with an essay that’s purchased outright. Paying for something and representing it as your child’s subverts the admissions process as a whole, giving kids an unfair advantage, says Carrie James, an ethicist with t he Good Project  at Harvard University. And of course there’s the message it sends to your child — that you can buy their way into college (and who knows what after) and that Mom and Dad will take care of the tough stuff in life.

“The longer-term ethical implications are important to consider as well,” James says. “What kinds of future workers and citizens are we nurturing through such practices?”

Most college coaches draw a very strict line between advising and “doing it for them.” Their job is to get kids to write the essay themselves, just a better version than they might have drafted alone.

“My counseling training has taught me to ask lots of open-ended questions,” says Ethan Sawyer, who counsels students on essay writing and goes by “ the College Essay Guy ” online. Instead of asking, “Did your parents’ divorce make you sad?,” for example, he’ll ask, “What was that like?”

“I also teach students basic screenwriting structure, as it’s a pretty efficient way of not only showing them how stories work but also getting them to think visually,” Sawyer says. “Personal statements are short films.”

Sawyer has gotten requests to write the essay outright, but he’s turned them down. Mostly, he sees kids who just need a little help, some prompting to get started or proofreading on the back end. Often those kids are in public schools where the counselors on staff just can’t keep up — not surprising when you consider the average public high school guidance counselor manages a caseload of 476 kids.

The fact that those public school counselors exist at all should give some direction to parents who are unsure whether it’s okay to give — or pay for — essay help. Some 30 percent of public schools employ at least one counselor whose exclusive responsibility is to provide college counseling.

Adelphi’s Espina says admissions officers do expect kids to get some help with their essay, usually from a guidance counselor, an English teacher or a parent, or even from the college.

“Many students lack the access to resources to fully grasp the process itself, including the importance of the college essay,” she says. “It’s quite common for [admissions] counselors or directors to provide free lectures-presentations on the college essay at local high schools or on their own college campuses.”

And if kids just seems out of their depths, O’Connell has this advice: “I tell kids if you’re really, really struggling, you’re not telling the right story.”

Sometimes they just need to be sent back to the drawing board.

Jeanne Sager is a writer and editor based in Callicoon Center, N.Y. Find her on Twitter @JeanneSager .

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Writing College Essays: A Guide For Parents

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Kim Lifton, right, and Susan Knoppow, authors of How to Write an Effective College Essay: The Inside Scoop for Parents 

Authors Kim Lifton and Susan Knoppow, founders of the Wow Writing Workshop , both have daughters embarking on the journey to college this fall. But that wasn’t the impetus for their recently published guide, How to Write an Effective College Application Essay: The Inside Scoop for Parents , a 51-page primer that aims to enhance parents’ role in the application process.

Instead, Lifton says, the inspiration came began with a conversation with her sister, whose son was applying to schools two years ago and who was “super involved” — and super worried — about the college essay. “She called me up and she was asking me questions about the essay, and I said, ‘You know what Tammy, I really think you should step away from this and let me work with him, because you don’t know what you’re doing.’ And I wasn’t very nice to my sister. I just said, ‘Step away, you’re too involved, and you don’t know how too help him, and this is what I do, so let me help him.’

“And she was very diplomatic, and she said, ‘You know Kim, it would be more helpful if you could tell me what I could do to help him.’ And that was the impetus for this project.”

As they have many times over years of collaboration, Lifton, president of Wow and a long-time journalist, and Knoppow, CEO and a writer and teacher, went to work together to craft a guide that would not only teach students to write an effective essay — a common goal of the self-help book cottage industry — but, for the first time, encourage parents’ involvement.

‘EVERYBODY TELLS US TO STAY AWAY, BACK OFF’

The Wow Writing Workshop is no newcomer to the world of college essays . Since launching in 2009, the Royal Oak, Michigan-based company has been in the business of helping prospective students, graduate students, counselors, and others better communicate via the written word. They developed the first self-guided online program for college application essay writing, and they conduct regular webinars on a wide range of related topics; the next, titled “Get In, Get Out and Get It Right: The 30-minute Essay Review,” scheduled for Aug. 17, will offer guidelines and templates based on the theory that “it should never take more than 30 minutes to review a student essay if you know what to look for and what to set aside.”

Experts they may be, but Lifton’s conversation with her sister sparked a new idea: Why not write a guide that brings parents into the fold, includes them in the process and values their input, rather than pushing them away? Parents have traditionally been urged to step aside as a way to let the students learn to stand on their own, but as Lifton’s sister said, “Everybody tells (parents) to stay away, back off. Nobody gives us anything that we can do, and all we want to do is help our kids.”

So Lifton and her business partner went about designing and writing a new kind of guide, keeping in mind the fact that, as she says, “Most parents really and truly just want to help, and it’s overwhelming.”

COMMON APP RAISES BAR THAT MUCH HIGHER

Lifton says it’s important for applicants, and parents, to be realistic. It’s simply harder to get into college these days, she says, pointing to the top school in her state, the University of Michigan, which accepted just 29% of total applicants in 2015. Not far away, the University of Chicago accepted a mere 7%. Much of the difficulty, Lifton says, lies with the advent of the Common App , used by nearly a million students a year to submit more than 4 million applications.

“All of the things that we hear about college are true,” Lifton says. “It is harder to get in, the Common App does make it really, really easy to apply — maybe it’s even too easy — and the admit numbers go down every time a new school takes the Common App.

“It is what it is. But as they open up admissions, as they make it easier with streamlined applications, it truly is harder (to get accepted), and I don’t think that we should be telling kids otherwise.”

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College Essay FAQs: Parent Edition

Posted by: Sierra Leickert on June 14, 2023

Essays are becoming an increasingly important part of the college application process. Essays are an opportunity to demonstrate personal skills that can differentiate students from their peers with top grades and test scores. Knowing the importance of application essay can result in students and families feeling uneasy, so here are a few FAQs and answers to help alleviate some of that stress: 

Q: When should my student start writing their college essays? 

A: Students should start writing college essays during the summer before senior year. Beginning during the summer allows students to engage in thoughtful reflection that is quintessential to the college application essay process. 

Students should start with their main application essay. We usually encourage students to finish this essay during the summer months to have enough time to work on their school work and supplemental essays during the school year. 

Q: How involved should I, as a parent, be in the writing process with my student? 

A: This depends on the student, but parents often make great final readers on their students’ application essays. However, parents add stress when part of the iterative writing process. Still, they know their student and their student’s voice very well, which can make them the perfect choice to take a last look at the essay before submission. 

Q: My student needs help to identify an essay topic. What makes for a good essay topic?  

A: Students have a lot of freedom in choosing topics for their essays, particularly the primary application essay, which can be overwhelming. Suppose your student needs help identifying what they want to write their essay about. In that case, it can be helpful to discuss what experiences they value, their extracurricular involvement, impactful/meaningful experiences, etc. Having these broad conversations with your students may spark a topic idea for them!  

Q: How many essays should my student expect to write?

A: A lot. Remember when I said to start over the summer? The number of essays a student will have to write varies because it depends on which schools the student applies to and the total number of schools to which they submit applications. Many schools now require supplemental essays. These supplemental essays are often shorter than the main application essay, but, on average, a student should expect to write 20-25 application essays.

Q: Can my student write several essays on the same topic?

A: Yes and no. It can be helpful to think of each essay as an opportunity for an admissions officer to learn more about your student. For this reason, we often encourage students to write essays that they will submit to the same institution about different activities or experiences. 

However, if a student is heavily involved in a minimal number of activities, writing more than one essay for the same institution on the same topic is possible. The caveat is that providing a fresh perspective on that activity is vital so that the admissions officer is still learning more about what the student has to offer. 

To help parents and students, we have a recorded webinar and a series of summer essay workshops. 

Watch the webinar

Stay up to date on the workshops

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12 Strategies to Writing the Perfect College Essay

College admission committees sift through thousands of college essays each year. Here’s how to make yours stand out.

Pamela Reynolds

When it comes to deciding who they will admit into their programs, colleges consider many criteria, including high school grades, extracurricular activities, and ACT and SAT scores. But in recent years, more colleges are no longer considering test scores.

Instead, many (including Harvard through 2026) are opting for “test-blind” admission policies that give more weight to other elements in a college application. This policy change is seen as fairer to students who don’t have the means or access to testing, or who suffer from test anxiety.

So, what does this mean for you?

Simply that your college essay, traditionally a requirement of any college application, is more important than ever.

A college essay is your unique opportunity to introduce yourself to admissions committees who must comb through thousands of applications each year. It is your chance to stand out as someone worthy of a seat in that classroom.

A well-written and thoughtful essay—reflecting who you are and what you believe—can go a long way to separating your application from the slew of forgettable ones that admissions officers read. Indeed, officers may rely on them even more now that many colleges are not considering test scores.

Below we’ll discuss a few strategies you can use to help your essay stand out from the pack. We’ll touch on how to start your essay, what you should write for your college essay, and elements that make for a great college essay.

Be Authentic

More than any other consideration, you should choose a topic or point of view that is consistent with who you truly are.

Readers can sense when writers are inauthentic.

Inauthenticity could mean the use of overly flowery language that no one would ever use in conversation, or it could mean choosing an inconsequential topic that reveals very little about who you are.

Use your own voice, sense of humor, and a natural way of speaking.

Whatever subject you choose, make sure it’s something that’s genuinely important to you and not a subject you’ve chosen just to impress. You can write about a specific experience, hobby, or personality quirk that illustrates your strengths, but also feel free to write about your weaknesses.

Honesty about traits, situations, or a childhood background that you are working to improve may resonate with the reader more strongly than a glib victory speech.

Grab the Reader From the Start

You’ll be competing with so many other applicants for an admission officer’s attention.

Therefore, start your essay with an opening sentence or paragraph that immediately seizes the imagination. This might be a bold statement, a thoughtful quote, a question you pose, or a descriptive scene.

Starting your essay in a powerful way with a clear thesis statement can often help you along in the writing process. If your task is to tell a good story, a bold beginning can be a natural prelude to getting there, serving as a roadmap, engaging the reader from the start, and presenting the purpose of your writing.

Focus on Deeper Themes

Some essay writers think they will impress committees by loading an essay with facts, figures, and descriptions of activities, like wins in sports or descriptions of volunteer work. But that’s not the point.

College admissions officers are interested in learning more about who you are as a person and what makes you tick.

They want to know what has brought you to this stage in life. They want to read about realizations you may have come to through adversity as well as your successes, not just about how many games you won while on the soccer team or how many people you served at a soup kitchen.

Let the reader know how winning the soccer game helped you develop as a person, friend, family member, or leader. Make a connection with your soup kitchen volunteerism and how it may have inspired your educational journey and future aspirations. What did you discover about yourself?

Show Don’t Tell

As you expand on whatever theme you’ve decided to explore in your essay, remember to show, don’t tell.

The most engaging writing “shows” by setting scenes and providing anecdotes, rather than just providing a list of accomplishments and activities.

Reciting a list of activities is also boring. An admissions officer will want to know about the arc of your emotional journey too.

Try Doing Something Different

If you want your essay to stand out, think about approaching your subject from an entirely new perspective. While many students might choose to write about their wins, for instance, what if you wrote an essay about what you learned from all your losses?

If you are an especially talented writer, you might play with the element of surprise by crafting an essay that leaves the response to a question to the very last sentence.

You may want to stay away from well-worn themes entirely, like a sports-related obstacle or success, volunteer stories, immigration stories, moving, a summary of personal achievements or overcoming obstacles.

However, such themes are popular for a reason. They represent the totality of most people’s lives coming out of high school. Therefore, it may be less important to stay away from these topics than to take a fresh approach.

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Write With the Reader in Mind

Writing for the reader means building a clear and logical argument in which one thought flows naturally from another.

Use transitions between paragraphs.

Think about any information you may have left out that the reader may need to know. Are there ideas you have included that do not help illustrate your theme?

Be sure you can answer questions such as: Does what you have written make sense? Is the essay organized? Does the opening grab the reader? Is there a strong ending? Have you given enough background information? Is it wordy?

Write Several Drafts

Set your essay aside for a few days and come back to it after you’ve had some time to forget what you’ve written. Often, you’ll discover you have a whole new perspective that enhances your ability to make revisions.

Start writing months before your essay is due to give yourself enough time to write multiple drafts. A good time to start could be as early as the summer before your senior year when homework and extracurricular activities take up less time.

Read It Aloud

Writer’s tip : Reading your essay aloud can instantly uncover passages that sound clumsy, long-winded, or false.

Don’t Repeat

If you’ve mentioned an activity, story, or anecdote in some other part of your application, don’t repeat it again in your essay.

Your essay should tell college admissions officers something new. Whatever you write in your essay should be in philosophical alignment with the rest of your application.

Also, be sure you’ve answered whatever question or prompt may have been posed to you at the outset.

Ask Others to Read Your Essay

Be sure the people you ask to read your essay represent different demographic groups—a teacher, a parent, even a younger sister or brother.

Ask each reader what they took from the essay and listen closely to what they have to say. If anyone expresses confusion, revise until the confusion is cleared up.

Pay Attention to Form

Although there are often no strict word limits for college essays, most essays are shorter rather than longer. Common App, which students can use to submit to multiple colleges, suggests that essays stay at about 650 words.

“While we won’t as a rule stop reading after 650 words, we cannot promise that an overly wordy essay will hold our attention for as long as you’d hoped it would,” the Common App website states.

In reviewing other technical aspects of your essay, be sure that the font is readable, that the margins are properly spaced, that any dialogue is set off properly, and that there is enough spacing at the top. Your essay should look clean and inviting to readers.

End Your Essay With a “Kicker”

In journalism, a kicker is the last punchy line, paragraph, or section that brings everything together.

It provides a lasting impression that leaves the reader satisfied and impressed by the points you have artfully woven throughout your piece.

So, here’s our kicker: Be concise and coherent, engage in honest self-reflection, and include vivid details and anecdotes that deftly illustrate your point.

While writing a fantastic essay may not guarantee you get selected, it can tip the balance in your favor if admissions officers are considering a candidate with a similar GPA and background.

Write, revise, revise again, and good luck!

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About the Author

Pamela Reynolds is a Boston-area feature writer and editor whose work appears in numerous publications. She is the author of “Revamp: A Memoir of Travel and Obsessive Renovation.”

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How to Write a College Application Essay

Find the right college for you..

Your essay reveals something important about you that your grades and test scores can't─your personality. It can give admissions officers a sense of who you are and showcase your writing ability. Here are some things that admissions officers look for in a personal essay for college.

1. Open Strong.

Knowing how to start a college essay can create a strong opening paragraph that immediately captures the reader’s interest. You want to make the admissions officer reading your essay curious about what you say next.

2. Show You Can Write.

Colleges want to see that you have a command of the basics of good writing, which is a key component of success in college.

3. Answer the Prompt.

Admissions officers also want to see that the student can give a direct answer while sticking to a comprehensive narrative. When writing college essays, consider the point you want to make and develop a fleshed-out response that fits the prompt. Avoid force-fitting prewritten pieces. Approach every personal essay prompt as if it's your first.

4. Stick to Your Style.

Writing college essays isn't about using flowery or verbose prose. Avoid leaning too heavily on the thesaurus to sound impressive. Choose a natural writing style that’s appropriate for the subject matter.

Also, avoid stressing about trying to write what you think colleges want to see. Learning how to draft a good essay for college is about showcasing who you are. Stay true to your voice. Keep in mind that authenticity is more important than anything else.

5. Proofread.

Correct grammar, punctuation, and spelling are essential. Proofread several times after you've finished. Then ask a teacher, parent, or college English major to give it a quick read as well.

6. Keep Track of Length.

Finally, admissions officers value succinctness. Remember to pay attention to the recommended essay length or word count.

Bonus Tips and College Essay Writing Help

For more on how to write a college essay, check out these Tips for Writing Your College Admissions Essay .

What is the college application essay?

A personal essay for college applications is an opportunity for admission admissions panels to get more insight into who you are and what you have to offer. It's often the most personal component of the application, going beyond grades and standardized test scores. Essays usually have open-ended prompts, allowing you to flex your writing skills and make a personal statement.

Does my college application essay really matter?

Learning how to write a successful essay for college is crucial. This essay's exact weight on your chances of acceptance varies from one school to the next. But it's an element of your application that all admissions teams consider. Your essay could be the thing that gets you off a waiting list or gives you a competitive edge over other applicants.

What are colleges looking for in my application essay?

Knowing what to include in a college essay is half the battle. Admissions teams look for many things, but the most influential are authenticity, writing ability, character details, and positive traits. The purpose of the essay is to shed light on your background and gain perspective on your real-world experiences.

When should I start writing my college essay?

Because you'll want to tailor each application to each school, expect to write multiple personal essays. Advisers typically recommend starting these pieces during the summer before your senior year of high school. This will give you ample time to concentrate on writing a college essay before you're hit with schoolwork.

What can I do to write an effective college essay if I'm not a strong writer?

Good writing skills matter, but the best college essay is about the quality of your response. Authentic stories in a natural voice have impact. The story you want to tell about yourself will work better for you if it’s told in language that’s not overly sophisticated. Work with a writing coach for help with the academic aspects. Make responding with substance a priority.

How can I write my college essay if I have no monumental experiences?

You don't need life-changing moments to impress an admissions panel. Think about your personal experiences. Describe moments that left a lasting impact. The important thing is to have a fleshed-out narrative that provides insight into your life and way of thinking. Some of the best essays revolve around meaningful moments rather than flashy ones.

How should I start brainstorming topics for my college essay?

Most colleges provide open-ended prompts. Using the topic as inspiration, think about critical milestones or essential lessons you learned during your academic career. Tell stories about real-life experiences that have shaped the person you are. Write them down to brainstorm ideas. Choose stories that highlight your best traits.

What is a good list of essay topics to start with? What essay topics should I avoid?

Good topics when writing college essays include personal achievements, meaningful lessons, life-changing challenges, and situations that fostered personal growth. It's best to avoid anything too intimate or controversial. You want to open up, but it's not a good idea to go overboard or alienate members of the admissions panel.

What format should I use for my college essay?

Read the prompt and essay instructions thoroughly to learn how to start off a college essay. Some colleges provide guidance about formatting. If not, the best course of action is to stick with a college standard like the MLA format.

How long should my essay be?

The average length of a personal essay for college is 400─600 words. Always read the prompt. Follow the instructions provided in the application.

Who should I ask to review my college essay?

Turn to your school counselor for review. They understand what college admissions panels are looking for, and they can provide valuable insight into your piece's quality. You can also reach out to English teachers and other educators for proofreading.

Related Articles

Choose Your Test

Sat / act prep online guides and tips, 177 college essay examples for 11 schools + expert analysis.

College Admissions , College Essays

The personal statement might just be the hardest part of your college application. Mostly this is because it has the least guidance and is the most open-ended. One way to understand what colleges are looking for when they ask you to write an essay is to check out the essays of students who already got in—college essays that actually worked. After all, they must be among the most successful of this weird literary genre.

In this article, I'll go through general guidelines for what makes great college essays great. I've also compiled an enormous list of 100+ actual sample college essays from 11 different schools. Finally, I'll break down two of these published college essay examples and explain why and how they work. With links to 177 full essays and essay excerpts , this article is a great resource for learning how to craft your own personal college admissions essay!

What Excellent College Essays Have in Common

Even though in many ways these sample college essays are very different from one other, they do share some traits you should try to emulate as you write your own essay.

Visible Signs of Planning

Building out from a narrow, concrete focus. You'll see a similar structure in many of the essays. The author starts with a very detailed story of an event or description of a person or place. After this sense-heavy imagery, the essay expands out to make a broader point about the author, and connects this very memorable experience to the author's present situation, state of mind, newfound understanding, or maturity level.

Knowing how to tell a story. Some of the experiences in these essays are one-of-a-kind. But most deal with the stuff of everyday life. What sets them apart is the way the author approaches the topic: analyzing it for drama and humor, for its moving qualities, for what it says about the author's world, and for how it connects to the author's emotional life.

Stellar Execution

A killer first sentence. You've heard it before, and you'll hear it again: you have to suck the reader in, and the best place to do that is the first sentence. Great first sentences are punchy. They are like cliffhangers, setting up an exciting scene or an unusual situation with an unclear conclusion, in order to make the reader want to know more. Don't take my word for it—check out these 22 first sentences from Stanford applicants and tell me you don't want to read the rest of those essays to find out what happens!

A lively, individual voice. Writing is for readers. In this case, your reader is an admissions officer who has read thousands of essays before yours and will read thousands after. Your goal? Don't bore your reader. Use interesting descriptions, stay away from clichés, include your own offbeat observations—anything that makes this essay sounds like you and not like anyone else.

Technical correctness. No spelling mistakes, no grammar weirdness, no syntax issues, no punctuation snafus—each of these sample college essays has been formatted and proofread perfectly. If this kind of exactness is not your strong suit, you're in luck! All colleges advise applicants to have their essays looked over several times by parents, teachers, mentors, and anyone else who can spot a comma splice. Your essay must be your own work, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting help polishing it.

And if you need more guidance, connect with PrepScholar's expert admissions consultants . These expert writers know exactly what college admissions committees look for in an admissions essay and chan help you craft an essay that boosts your chances of getting into your dream school.

Check out PrepScholar's Essay Editing and Coaching progra m for more details!

Want to write the perfect college application essay? Get professional help from PrepScholar.

Your dedicated PrepScholar Admissions counselor will craft your perfect college essay, from the ground up. We'll learn your background and interests, brainstorm essay topics, and walk you through the essay drafting process, step-by-step. At the end, you'll have a unique essay that you'll proudly submit to your top choice colleges.

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Links to Full College Essay Examples

Some colleges publish a selection of their favorite accepted college essays that worked, and I've put together a selection of over 100 of these.

Common App Essay Samples

Please note that some of these college essay examples may be responding to prompts that are no longer in use. The current Common App prompts are as follows:

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. 2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? 3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? 4. Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? 5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. 6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Now, let's get to the good stuff: the list of 177 college essay examples responding to current and past Common App essay prompts. 

Connecticut college.

• 12 Common Application essays from the classes of 2022-2025

Hamilton College

• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2026
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2022
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2018
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2012
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2007

Johns Hopkins

These essays are answers to past prompts from either the Common Application or the Coalition Application (which Johns Hopkins used to accept).

• 1 Common Application or Coalition Application essay from the class of 2026
• 6 Common Application or Coalition Application essays from the class of 2025
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2024
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2023
• 7 Common Application of Universal Application essays from the class of 2022
• 5 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2021
• 7 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2020

Essay Examples Published by Other Websites

• 2 Common Application essays ( 1st essay , 2nd essay ) from applicants admitted to Columbia

Other Sample College Essays

Here is a collection of essays that are college-specific.

Babson College

• 4 essays (and 1 video response) on "Why Babson" from the class of 2020

Emory University

• 5 essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) from the class of 2020 along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on why the essays were exceptional
• 5 more recent essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on what made these essays stand out

University of Georgia

• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2019
• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2018
• 10 Harvard essays from 2023
• 10 Harvard essays from 2022
• 10 Harvard essays from 2021
• 10 Harvard essays from 2020
• 10 Harvard essays from 2019
• 10 Harvard essays from 2018
• 6 essays from admitted MIT students

Smith College

• 6 "best gift" essays from the class of 2018

Books of College Essays

If you're looking for even more sample college essays, consider purchasing a college essay book. The best of these include dozens of essays that worked and feedback from real admissions officers.

College Essays That Made a Difference —This detailed guide from Princeton Review includes not only successful essays, but also interviews with admissions officers and full student profiles.

50 Successful Harvard Application Essays by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson—A must for anyone aspiring to Harvard .

50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays and 50 Successful Stanford Application Essays by Gen and Kelly Tanabe—For essays from other top schools, check out this venerated series, which is regularly updated with new essays.

Heavenly Essays by Janine W. Robinson—This collection from the popular blogger behind Essay Hell includes a wider range of schools, as well as helpful tips on honing your own essay.

Analyzing Great Common App Essays That Worked

I've picked two essays from the examples collected above to examine in more depth so that you can see exactly what makes a successful college essay work. Full credit for these essays goes to the original authors and the schools that published them.

Example 1: "Breaking Into Cars," by Stephen, Johns Hopkins Class of '19 (Common App Essay, 636 words long)

I had never broken into a car before.

We were in Laredo, having just finished our first day at a Habitat for Humanity work site. The Hotchkiss volunteers had already left, off to enjoy some Texas BBQ, leaving me behind with the college kids to clean up. Not until we were stranded did we realize we were locked out of the van.

Someone picked a coat hanger out of the dumpster, handed it to me, and took a few steps back.

"Can you do that thing with a coat hanger to unlock it?"

"Why me?" I thought.

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame. Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally. My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed. "The water's on fire! Clear a hole!" he shouted, tossing me in the lake without warning. While I'm still unconvinced about that particular lesson's practicality, my Dad's overarching message is unequivocally true: much of life is unexpected, and you have to deal with the twists and turns.

Living in my family, days rarely unfolded as planned. A bit overlooked, a little pushed around, I learned to roll with reality, negotiate a quick deal, and give the improbable a try. I don't sweat the small stuff, and I definitely don't expect perfect fairness. So what if our dining room table only has six chairs for seven people? Someone learns the importance of punctuality every night.

But more than punctuality and a special affinity for musical chairs, my family life has taught me to thrive in situations over which I have no power. Growing up, I never controlled my older siblings, but I learned how to thwart their attempts to control me. I forged alliances, and realigned them as necessary. Sometimes, I was the poor, defenseless little brother; sometimes I was the omniscient elder. Different things to different people, as the situation demanded. I learned to adapt.

Back then, these techniques were merely reactions undertaken to ensure my survival. But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The question caught me off guard, much like the question posed to me in Laredo. Then, I realized I knew the answer. I knew why the coat hanger had been handed to me.

Growing up as the middle child in my family, I was a vital participant in a thing I did not govern, in the company of people I did not choose. It's family. It's society. And often, it's chaos. You participate by letting go of the small stuff, not expecting order and perfection, and facing the unexpected with confidence, optimism, and preparedness. My family experience taught me to face a serendipitous world with confidence.

What Makes This Essay Tick?

It's very helpful to take writing apart in order to see just how it accomplishes its objectives. Stephen's essay is very effective. Let's find out why!

An Opening Line That Draws You In

In just eight words, we get: scene-setting (he is standing next to a car about to break in), the idea of crossing a boundary (he is maybe about to do an illegal thing for the first time), and a cliffhanger (we are thinking: is he going to get caught? Is he headed for a life of crime? Is he about to be scared straight?).

Great, Detailed Opening Story

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame.

It's the details that really make this small experience come alive. Notice how whenever he can, Stephen uses a more specific, descriptive word in place of a more generic one. The volunteers aren't going to get food or dinner; they're going for "Texas BBQ." The coat hanger comes from "a dumpster." Stephen doesn't just move the coat hanger—he "jiggles" it.

Details also help us visualize the emotions of the people in the scene. The person who hands Stephen the coat hanger isn't just uncomfortable or nervous; he "takes a few steps back"—a description of movement that conveys feelings. Finally, the detail of actual speech makes the scene pop. Instead of writing that the other guy asked him to unlock the van, Stephen has the guy actually say his own words in a way that sounds like a teenager talking.

Turning a Specific Incident Into a Deeper Insight

Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

Stephen makes the locked car experience a meaningful illustration of how he has learned to be resourceful and ready for anything, and he also makes this turn from the specific to the broad through an elegant play on the two meanings of the word "click."

Using Concrete Examples When Making Abstract Claims

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally.

"Unpredictability and chaos" are very abstract, not easily visualized concepts. They could also mean any number of things—violence, abandonment, poverty, mental instability. By instantly following up with highly finite and unambiguous illustrations like "family of seven" and "siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing," Stephen grounds the abstraction in something that is easy to picture: a large, noisy family.

Using Small Bits of Humor and Casual Word Choice

My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed.

Obviously, knowing how to clean burning oil is not high on the list of things every 9-year-old needs to know. To emphasize this, Stephen uses sarcasm by bringing up a situation that is clearly over-the-top: "in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed."

The humor also feels relaxed. Part of this is because he introduces it with the colloquial phrase "you know," so it sounds like he is talking to us in person. This approach also diffuses the potential discomfort of the reader with his father's strictness—since he is making jokes about it, clearly he is OK. Notice, though, that this doesn't occur very much in the essay. This helps keep the tone meaningful and serious rather than flippant.

An Ending That Stretches the Insight Into the Future

But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The ending of the essay reveals that Stephen's life has been one long preparation for the future. He has emerged from chaos and his dad's approach to parenting as a person who can thrive in a world that he can't control.

This connection of past experience to current maturity and self-knowledge is a key element in all successful personal essays. Colleges are very much looking for mature, self-aware applicants. These are the qualities of successful college students, who will be able to navigate the independence college classes require and the responsibility and quasi-adulthood of college life.

What Could This Essay Do Even Better?

Even the best essays aren't perfect, and even the world's greatest writers will tell you that writing is never "finished"—just "due." So what would we tweak in this essay if we could?

Replace some of the clichéd language. Stephen uses handy phrases like "twists and turns" and "don't sweat the small stuff" as a kind of shorthand for explaining his relationship to chaos and unpredictability. But using too many of these ready-made expressions runs the risk of clouding out your own voice and replacing it with something expected and boring.

Use another example from recent life. Stephen's first example (breaking into the van in Laredo) is a great illustration of being resourceful in an unexpected situation. But his essay also emphasizes that he "learned to adapt" by being "different things to different people." It would be great to see how this plays out outside his family, either in the situation in Laredo or another context.

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Example 2: By Renner Kwittken, Tufts Class of '23 (Common App Essay, 645 words long)

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry's "Cars and Trucks and Things That Go," and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration.

Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear.

I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

In the lab, Dr. Ray encouraged a great amount of autonomy to design and implement my own procedures. I chose to attack a problem that affects the entire field of nanomedicine: nanoparticles consistently fail to translate from animal studies into clinical trials. Jumping off recent literature, I set out to see if a pre-dose of a common chemotherapeutic could enhance nanoparticle delivery in aggressive prostate cancer, creating three novel constructs based on three different linear polymers, each using fluorescent dye (although no gold, sorry goldbug!). Though using radioactive isotopes like Gallium and Yttrium would have been incredible, as a 17-year-old, I unfortunately wasn't allowed in the same room as these radioactive materials (even though I took a Geiger counter to a pair of shoes and found them to be slightly dangerous).

I hadn't expected my hypothesis to work, as the research project would have ideally been led across two full years. Yet while there are still many optimizations and revisions to be done, I was thrilled to find -- with completely new nanoparticles that may one day mean future trials will use particles with the initials "RK-1" -- thatcyclophosphamide did indeed increase nanoparticle delivery to the tumor in a statistically significant way.

A secondary, unexpected research project was living alone in Baltimore, a new city to me, surrounded by people much older than I. Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research. Whether in a presentation or in a casual conversation, making others interested in science is perhaps more exciting to me than the research itself. This solidified a new pursuit to angle my love for writing towards illuminating science in ways people can understand, adding value to a society that can certainly benefit from more scientific literacy.

It seems fitting that my goals are still transforming: in Scarry's book, there is not just one goldbug, there is one on every page. With each new experience, I'm learning that it isn't the goldbug itself, but rather the act of searching for the goldbugs that will encourage, shape, and refine my ever-evolving passions. Regardless of the goldbug I seek -- I know my pickle truck has just begun its journey.

Renner takes a somewhat different approach than Stephen, but their essay is just as detailed and engaging. Let's go through some of the strengths of this essay.

One Clear Governing Metaphor

This essay is ultimately about two things: Renner’s dreams and future career goals, and Renner’s philosophy on goal-setting and achieving one’s dreams.

But instead of listing off all the amazing things they’ve done to pursue their dream of working in nanomedicine, Renner tells a powerful, unique story instead. To set up the narrative, Renner opens the essay by connecting their experiences with goal-setting and dream-chasing all the way back to a memorable childhood experience:

This lighthearted–but relevant!--story about the moment when Renner first developed a passion for a specific career (“finding the goldbug”) provides an anchor point for the rest of the essay. As Renner pivots to describing their current dreams and goals–working in nanomedicine–the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” is reflected in Renner’s experiments, rejections, and new discoveries.

Though Renner tells multiple stories about their quest to “find the goldbug,” or, in other words, pursue their passion, each story is connected by a unifying theme; namely, that as we search and grow over time, our goals will transform…and that’s okay! By the end of the essay, Renner uses the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” to reiterate the relevance of the opening story:

While the earlier parts of the essay convey Renner’s core message by showing, the final, concluding paragraph sums up Renner’s insights by telling. By briefly and clearly stating the relevance of the goldbug metaphor to their own philosophy on goals and dreams, Renner demonstrates their creativity, insight, and eagerness to grow and evolve as the journey continues into college.

An Engaging, Individual Voice

This essay uses many techniques that make Renner sound genuine and make the reader feel like we already know them.

Technique #1: humor. Notice Renner's gentle and relaxed humor that lightly mocks their younger self's grand ambitions (this is different from the more sarcastic kind of humor used by Stephen in the first essay—you could never mistake one writer for the other).

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver.

I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Renner gives a great example of how to use humor to your advantage in college essays. You don’t want to come off as too self-deprecating or sarcastic, but telling a lightheartedly humorous story about your younger self that also showcases how you’ve grown and changed over time can set the right tone for your entire essay.

Technique #2: intentional, eye-catching structure. The second technique is the way Renner uses a unique structure to bolster the tone and themes of their essay . The structure of your essay can have a major impact on how your ideas come across…so it’s important to give it just as much thought as the content of your essay!

For instance, Renner does a great job of using one-line paragraphs to create dramatic emphasis and to make clear transitions from one phase of the story to the next:

Suddenly the destination of my pickle car was clear.

Not only does the one-liner above signal that Renner is moving into a new phase of the narrative (their nanoparticle research experiences), it also tells the reader that this is a big moment in Renner’s story. It’s clear that Renner made a major discovery that changed the course of their goal pursuit and dream-chasing. Through structure, Renner conveys excitement and entices the reader to keep pushing forward to the next part of the story.

Technique #3: playing with syntax. The third technique is to use sentences of varying length, syntax, and structure. Most of the essay's written in standard English and uses grammatically correct sentences. However, at key moments, Renner emphasizes that the reader needs to sit up and pay attention by switching to short, colloquial, differently punctuated, and sometimes fragmented sentences.

Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research.

In the examples above, Renner switches adeptly between long, flowing sentences and quippy, telegraphic ones. At the same time, Renner uses these different sentence lengths intentionally. As they describe their experiences in new places, they use longer sentences to immerse the reader in the sights, smells, and sounds of those experiences. And when it’s time to get a big, key idea across, Renner switches to a short, punchy sentence to stop the reader in their tracks.

The varying syntax and sentence lengths pull the reader into the narrative and set up crucial “aha” moments when it’s most important…which is a surefire way to make any college essay stand out.

Renner's essay is very strong, but there are still a few little things that could be improved.

Connecting the research experiences to the theme of “finding the goldbug.”  The essay begins and ends with Renner’s connection to the idea of “finding the goldbug.” And while this metaphor is deftly tied into the essay’s intro and conclusion, it isn’t entirely clear what Renner’s big findings were during the research experiences that are described in the middle of the essay. It would be great to add a sentence or two stating what Renner’s big takeaways (or “goldbugs”) were from these experiences, which add more cohesion to the essay as a whole.

Give more details about discovering the world of nanomedicine. It makes sense that Renner wants to get into the details of their big research experiences as quickly as possible. After all, these are the details that show Renner’s dedication to nanomedicine! But a smoother transition from the opening pickle car/goldbug story to Renner’s “real goldbug” of nanoparticles would help the reader understand why nanoparticles became Renner’s goldbug. Finding out why Renner is so motivated to study nanomedicine–and perhaps what put them on to this field of study–would help readers fully understand why Renner chose this path in the first place.

4 Essential Tips for Writing Your Own Essay

How can you use this discussion to better your own college essay? Here are some suggestions for ways to use this resource effectively.

#1: Get Help From the Experts

Getting your college applications together takes a lot of work and can be pretty intimidatin g. Essays are even more important than ever now that admissions processes are changing and schools are going test-optional and removing diversity standards thanks to new Supreme Court rulings .  If you want certified expert help that really makes a difference, get started with  PrepScholar’s Essay Editing and Coaching program. Our program can help you put together an incredible essay from idea to completion so that your application stands out from the crowd. We've helped students get into the best colleges in the United States, including Harvard, Stanford, and Yale.  If you're ready to take the next step and boost your odds of getting into your dream school, connect with our experts today .

#2: Read Other Essays to Get Ideas for Your Own

As you go through the essays we've compiled for you above, ask yourself the following questions:

• Can you explain to yourself (or someone else!) why the opening sentence works well?
• Look for the essay's detailed personal anecdote. What senses is the author describing? Can you easily picture the scene in your mind's eye?
• Find the place where this anecdote bridges into a larger insight about the author. How does the essay connect the two? How does the anecdote work as an example of the author's characteristic, trait, or skill?
• Check out the essay's tone. If it's funny, can you find the places where the humor comes from? If it's sad and moving, can you find the imagery and description of feelings that make you moved? If it's serious, can you see how word choice adds to this tone?

Make a note whenever you find an essay or part of an essay that you think was particularly well-written, and think about what you like about it . Is it funny? Does it help you really get to know the writer? Does it show what makes the writer unique? Once you have your list, keep it next to you while writing your essay to remind yourself to try and use those same techniques in your own essay.

#3: Find Your "A-Ha!" Moment

All of these essays rely on connecting with the reader through a heartfelt, highly descriptive scene from the author's life. It can either be very dramatic (did you survive a plane crash?) or it can be completely mundane (did you finally beat your dad at Scrabble?). Either way, it should be personal and revealing about you, your personality, and the way you are now that you are entering the adult world.

Check out essays by authors like John Jeremiah Sullivan , Leslie Jamison , Hanif Abdurraqib , and Esmé Weijun Wang to get more examples of how to craft a compelling personal narrative.

#4: Start Early, Revise Often

Let me level with you: the best writing isn't writing at all. It's rewriting. And in order to have time to rewrite, you have to start way before the application deadline. My advice is to write your first draft at least two months before your applications are due.

Let it sit for a few days untouched. Then come back to it with fresh eyes and think critically about what you've written. What's extra? What's missing? What is in the wrong place? What doesn't make sense? Don't be afraid to take it apart and rearrange sections. Do this several times over, and your essay will be much better for it!

For more editing tips, check out a style guide like Dreyer's English or Eats, Shoots & Leaves .

What's Next?

Still not sure which colleges you want to apply to? Our experts will show you how to make a college list that will help you choose a college that's right for you.

Interested in learning more about college essays? Check out our detailed breakdown of exactly how personal statements work in an application , some suggestions on what to avoid when writing your essay , and our guide to writing about your extracurricular activities .

Working on the rest of your application? Read what admissions officers wish applicants knew before applying .

Want to improve your SAT score by 160 points or your ACT score by 4 points? We've written a guide for each test about the top 5 strategies you must be using to have a shot at improving your score. Download it for free now:

The recommendations in this post are based solely on our knowledge and experience. If you purchase an item through one of our links PrepScholar may receive a commission.

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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Should college essays touch on race? Some feel the affirmative action ruling leaves them no choice

The Associated Press

March 27, 2024, 11:13 AM

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CHICAGO (AP) — When she started writing her college essay, Hillary Amofa told the story she thought admissions offices wanted to hear. About being the daughter of immigrants from Ghana and growing up in a small apartment in Chicago. About hardship and struggle.

Then she deleted it all.

“I would just find myself kind of trauma-dumping,” said the 18-year-old senior at Lincoln Park High School in Chicago. “And I’m just like, this doesn’t really say anything about me as a person.”

When the Supreme Court ended affirmative action in higher education, it left the college essay as one of few places where race can play a role in admissions decisions. For many students of color, instantly more was riding on the already high-stakes writing assignment. Some say they felt pressure to exploit their hardships as they competed for a spot on campus.

Amofa was just starting to think about her essay when the court issued its decision, and it left her with a wave of questions. Could she still write about her race? Could she be penalized for it? She wanted to tell colleges about her heritage but she didn’t want to be defined by it.

In English class, Amofa and her classmates read sample essays that all seemed to focus on some trauma or hardship. It left her with the impression she had to write about her life’s hardest moments to show how far she’d come. But she and some classmates wondered if their lives had been hard enough to catch the attention of admissions offices.

This year’s senior class is the first in decades to navigate college admissions without affirmative action . The Supreme Court upheld the practice in decisions going back to the 1970s, but this court’s conservative supermajority found it is unconstitutional for colleges to give students extra weight because of their race alone.

Still, the decision left room for race to play an indirect role: Chief Justice John Roberts wrote universities can still consider how an applicant’s life was shaped by their race, “so long as that discussion is concretely tied to a quality of character or unique ability.”

Scores of colleges responded with new essay prompts asking about students’ backgrounds.

When Darrian Merritt started writing his essay, his first instinct was to write about events that led to him going to live with his grandmother as a child. Those were painful memories, but he thought they might play well at schools like Yale, Stanford and Vanderbilt.

“I feel like the admissions committee might expect a sob story or a tragic story,” said Merritt, a senior in Cleveland. “I wrestled with that a lot.”

Eventually he abandoned the idea and aimed for an essay that would stand out for its positivity.

Merritt wrote about a summer camp where he started to feel more comfortable in his own skin. He described embracing his personality and defying his tendency to please others. But the essay also reflects on his feelings of not being “Black enough” and getting made fun of for listening to “white people music.”

Like many students, Max Decker of Portland, Oregon, had drafted a college essay on one topic, only to change direction after the Supreme Court ruling in June.

Decker initially wrote about his love for video games. In a childhood surrounded by constant change, navigating his parents’ divorce, the games he took from place to place on his Nintendo DS were a source of comfort.

But the essay he submitted to colleges focused on the community he found through Word is Bond, a leadership group for young Black men in Portland.

As the only biracial, Jewish kid with divorced parents in a predominantly white, Christian community, Decker wrote he felt like the odd one out. On a trip with Word is Bond to Capitol Hill, he and friends who looked just like him shook hands with lawmakers. The experience, he wrote, changed how he saw himself.

“It’s because I’m different that I provide something precious to the world, not the other way around,” wrote Decker, whose top college choice is Tulane, in New Orleans, because of the region’s diversity.

Amofa used to think affirmative action was only a factor at schools like Harvard and Yale. After the court’s ruling, she was surprised to find that race was taken into account even at public universities she was applying to.

Now, without affirmative action, she wondered if mostly white schools will become even whiter.

It’s been on her mind as she chooses between Indiana University and the University of Dayton, both of which have relatively few Black students. When she was one of the only Black students in her grade school, she could fall back on her family and Ghanaian friends at church. At college, she worries about loneliness.

“That’s what I’m nervous about,” she said. “Going and just feeling so isolated, even though I’m constantly around people.”

The first drafts of her essay didn’t tell colleges about who she is now, she said.

Her final essay describes how she came to embrace her natural hair. She wrote about going to a mostly white grade school where classmates made jokes about her afro.

Over time, she ignored their insults and found beauty in the styles worn by women in her life. She now runs a business doing braids and other hairstyles in her neighborhood.

“Criticism will persist,” she wrote “but it loses its power when you know there’s a crown on your head!”

Ma reported from Portland, Oregon.

The Associated Press’ education coverage receives financial support from multiple private foundations. AP is solely responsible for all content. Find AP’s standards for working with philanthropies, a list of supporters and funded coverage areas at AP.org .

Copyright © 2024 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, written or redistributed.

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College Essay: My Parents’ Sacrifice Makes Me Strong

After living in Texas briefly, my mom moved in with my aunt in Minnesota, where she helped raise my cousins while my aunt and uncle worked. My mom still glances to the building where she first lived. I think it’s amazing how she first moved here, she lived in a small apartment and now owns a house. 

My dad’s family was poor. He dropped out of elementary school to work. My dad was the only son my grandpa had. My dad thought he was responsible to help his family out, so he decided to leave for Minnesota   because  of  many  work opportunities .   

My parents met working in cleaning at the IDS  C enter during night shifts. I am their only child, and their main priority was not leaving me alone while they worked. My mom left her cleaning job to work mornings at a warehouse. My dad continued his job in cleaning at night.   

My dad would get me ready for school and walked me to the bus stop while waiting in the cold. When I arrived home from school, my dad had dinner prepared and the house cleaned. I would eat with him at the table while watching TV, but he left after to pick up my mom from work.   

My mom would get home in the afternoon. Most memories of my mom are watching her lying down on the couch watching her  n ovelas  –  S panish soap operas  – a nd falling asleep in the living room. I knew her job was physically tiring, so I didn’t bother her.  

Seeing my parents work hard and challenge Mexican customs influence my values today as a person. As a child, my dad cooked and cleaned, to help out my mom, which is rare in Mexican culture. Conservative Mexicans believe men are superior to women; women are seen as housewives who cook, clean and obey their husbands. My parents constantly tell me I should get an education to never depend on a man. My family challenged  machismo , Mexican sexism, by creating their own values and future.  

My parents encouraged me to, “ ponte  las  pilas ” in school, which translates to “put on your batteries” in English. It means that I should put in effort and work into achieving my goal. I was taught that school is the key object in life. I stay up late to complete all my homework assignments, because of this I miss a good amount of sleep, but I’m willing to put in effort to have good grades that will benefit me. I have softball practice right after school, so I try to do nearly all of my homework ahead of time, so I won’t end up behind.  

My parents taught me to set high standards for myself. My school operates on a 4.0-scale. During lunch, my friends talked joyfully about earning a 3.25 on a test. When I earn less than a 4.25, I feel disappointed. My friends reacted with, “You should be happy. You’re extra . ” Hearing that phrase flashbacks to my parents seeing my grades. My mom would pressure me to do better when I don’t earn all 4.0s  

Every once in  awhile , I struggled with following their value of education. It can be difficult to balance school, sports and life. My parents think I’m too young to complain about life. They don’t think I’m tired, because I don’t physically work, but don’t understand that I’m mentally tired and stressed out. It’s hard for them to understand this because they didn’t have the experience of going to school.   

The way I could thank my parents for their sacrifice is accomplishing their American dream by going to college and graduating to have a professional career. I visualize the day I graduate college with my degree, so my  family  celebrates by having a carne  asada (BBQ) in the yard. All my friends, relatives, and family friends would be there to congratulate me on my accomplishments.  

As teenagers, my parents worked hard manual labor jobs to be able to provide for themselves and their family. Both of them woke up early in the morning to head to work. Staying up late to earn extra cash. As teenagers, my parents tried going to school here in the U.S .  but weren’t able to, so they continued to work. Early in the morning now, my dad arrives home from work at 2:30 a.m .,  wakes up to drop me off at school around 7:30 a.m . , so I can focus on studying hard to earn good grades. My parents want me to stay in school and not prefer work to  head on their  same path as them. Their struggle influences me to have a good work ethic in school and go against the odds.  

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ThreeSixty Journalism,

a nonprofit program of the College of Arts and Sciences at the University of St. Thomas, uses the principles of strong writing and reporting to help diverse Minnesota youth tell the stories of their lives and communities.

Should college essays touch on race? Some feel the affirmative action ruling leaves them no choice

When the supreme court ended affirmative action, it left the college essay as one of few places where race can play a role in admissions decisions.

Max Decker, a senior at Lincoln High School, sits for a portrait in the school library where he often worked on writing his college essays, in Portland, Ore., Wednesday, March 20, 2024.

Amanda Loman / AP

Like many students, Max Decker of Portland, Oregon, had drafted a college essay on one topic, only to change direction after the Supreme Court ruling in June.

Decker initially wrote about his love for video games. In a childhood surrounded by constant change, navigating his parents’ divorce, the games he took from place to place on his Nintendo DS were a source of comfort.

But the essay he submitted to colleges focused on the community he found through Word is Bond, a leadership group for young Black men in Portland.

As the only biracial, Jewish kid with divorced parents in a predominantly white, Christian community, Decker wrote he felt like the odd one out. On a trip with Word is Bond to Capitol Hill, he and friends who looked just like him shook hands with lawmakers. The experience, he wrote, changed how he saw himself.

“It’s because I’m different that I provide something precious to the world, not the other way around,” wrote Decker, whose top college choice is Tulane, in New Orleans, because of the region’s diversity.

This year’s senior class is the first in decades to navigate college admissions without affirmative action . The Supreme Court upheld the practice in decisions going back to the 1970s, but this court’s conservative supermajority found it is unconstitutional for colleges to give students extra weight because of their race alone.

Still, the decision left room for race to play an indirect role: Chief Justice John Roberts wrote universities can still consider how an applicant’s life was shaped by their race, “so long as that discussion is concretely tied to a quality of character or unique ability.”

Scores of colleges responded with new essay prompts asking about students’ backgrounds.

FILE - Demonstrators protest outside of the Supreme Court in Washington, in this June 29, 2023 file photo, after the Supreme Court struck down affirmative action in college admissions, saying race cannot be a factor.

Jose Luis Magana / AP

Writing about feeling more comfortable with being Black

When Darrian Merritt started writing his essay, his first instinct was to write about events that led to him going to live with his grandmother as a child. Those were painful memories, but he thought they might play well at schools like Yale, Stanford and Vanderbilt.

“I feel like the admissions committee might expect a sob story or a tragic story,” said Merritt, a senior in Cleveland. “I wrestled with that a lot.”

Eventually he abandoned the idea and aimed for an essay that would stand out for its positivity.

Merritt wrote about a summer camp where he started to feel more comfortable in his own skin. He described embracing his personality and defying his tendency to please others. But the essay also reflects on his feelings of not being “Black enough” and getting made fun of for listening to “white people music.”

Related: Oregon colleges, universities weigh potential outcomes of US Supreme Court decision on affirmative action

Essay about how to embrace natural hair

When Hillary Amofa started writing her college essay, she told the story she thought admissions offices wanted to hear. About being the daughter of immigrants from Ghana and growing up in a small apartment in Chicago. About hardship and struggle.

Then she deleted it all.

“I would just find myself kind of trauma-dumping,” said the 18-year-old senior at Lincoln Park High School in Chicago. “And I’m just like, this doesn’t really say anything about me as a person.”

Amofa was just starting to think about her essay when the court issued its decision, and it left her with a wave of questions. Could she still write about her race? Could she be penalized for it? She wanted to tell colleges about her heritage but she didn’t want to be defined by it.

In English class, Amofa and her classmates read sample essays that all seemed to focus on some trauma or hardship. It left her with the impression she had to write about her life’s hardest moments to show how far she’d come. But she and some classmates wondered if their lives had been hard enough to catch the attention of admissions offices.

Hillary Amofa, laughs as she participates in a team building game with members of the Lincoln Park High School step team after school Friday, March 8, 2024, in Chicago. When she started writing her college essay, Amofa told the story she thought admissions offices wanted to hear. She wrote about being the daughter of immigrants from Ghana, about growing up in a small apartment in Chicago. She described hardship and struggle. Then she deleted it all. "I would just find myself kind of trauma-dumping," said the 18 year-old senior, "And I'm just like, this doesn't really say anything about me as a person."

Charles Rex Arbogast / AP

Amofa used to think affirmative action was only a factor at schools like Harvard and Yale. After the court’s ruling, she was surprised to find that race was taken into account even at public universities she was applying to.

Now, without affirmative action, she wondered if mostly white schools will become even whiter.

It’s been on her mind as she chooses between Indiana University and the University of Dayton, both of which have relatively few Black students. When she was one of the only Black students in her grade school, she could fall back on her family and Ghanaian friends at church. At college, she worries about loneliness.

“That’s what I’m nervous about,” she said. “Going and just feeling so isolated, even though I’m constantly around people.”

Related: Some Oregon universities, politicians disappointed in Supreme Court decision on affirmative action

The first drafts of her essay didn’t tell colleges about who she is now, she said.

Her final essay describes how she came to embrace her natural hair. She wrote about going to a mostly white grade school where classmates made jokes about her afro.

Over time, she ignored their insults and found beauty in the styles worn by women in her life. She now runs a business doing braids and other hairstyles in her neighborhood.

“Criticism will persist,” she wrote “but it loses its power when you know there’s a crown on your head!”

Ma reported from Portland, Oregon.

The Associated Press’ education coverage receives financial support from multiple private foundations. AP is solely responsible for all content. Find AP’s standards for working with philanthropies, a list of supporters and funded coverage areas at AP.org .

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Sob stories? Trauma dumps? Black kids worry about writing college essays after affirmative action ban

When the Supreme Court ended affirmative action in higher education, it left the college essay as one of few places where race can play a role in admissions decisions.

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CHICAGO (AP) — When she started writing her college essay, Hillary Amofa told the story she thought admissions offices wanted to hear. About being the daughter of immigrants from Ghana and growing up in a small apartment in Chicago. About hardship and struggle.

Then she deleted it all.

“I would just find myself kind of trauma-dumping,” said the 18-year-old senior at Lincoln Park High School in Chicago. “And I’m just like, this doesn’t really say anything about me as a person.”

When the Supreme Court ended affirmative action in higher education , it left the college essay as one of few places where race can play a role in admissions decisions. For many students of color, instantly more was riding on the already high-stakes writing assignment. Some say they felt pressure to exploit their hardships as they competed for a spot on campus.

Amofa was just starting to think about her essay when the court issued its decision, and it left her with a wave of questions. Could she still write about her race? Could she be penalized for it? She wanted to tell colleges about her heritage but she didn’t want to be defined by it.

In English class, Amofa and her classmates read sample essays that all seemed to focus on some trauma or hardship. It left her with the impression she had to write about her life’s hardest moments to show how far she’d come. But she and some of her classmates wondered if their lives had been hard enough to catch the attention of admissions offices.

“For a lot of students, there’s a feeling of, like, having to go through something so horrible to feel worthy of going to school, which is kind of sad,” said Amofa, the daughter of a hospital technician and an Uber driver.

This year’s senior class is the first in decades to navigate college admissions without affirmative action. The Supreme Court upheld the practice in decisions going back to the 1970s, but this court’s conservative supermajority found it is unconstitutional for colleges to give students extra weight because of their race alone.

Still, the decision left room for race to play an indirect role: Chief Justice John Roberts wrote universities can still consider how an applicant’s life was shaped by their race, “so long as that discussion is concretely tied to a quality of character or unique ability.”

“A benefit to a student who overcame racial discrimination, for example, must be tied to that student’s courage and determination,” he wrote.

Scores of colleges responded with new essay prompts asking about students’ backgrounds. Brown University asked applicants how “an aspect of your growing up has inspired or challenged you.” Rice University asked students how their perspectives were shaped by their “background, experiences, upbringing, and/or racial identity.”

Wondering if schools ‘expect a sob story’

When Darrian Merritt started writing his essay, he knew the stakes were higher than ever because of the court’s decision. His first instinct was to write about events that led to him going to live with his grandmother as a child.

Those were painful memories, but he thought they might play well at schools like Yale, Stanford and Vanderbilt.

“I feel like the admissions committee might expect a sob story or a tragic story,” said Merritt, a senior in Cleveland. “And if you don’t provide that, then maybe they’re not going to feel like you went through enough to deserve having a spot at the university. I wrestled with that a lot.”

He wrote drafts focusing on his childhood, but it never amounted to more than a collection of memories. Eventually he abandoned the idea and aimed for an essay that would stand out for its positivity.

Merritt wrote about a summer camp where he started to feel more comfortable in his own skin. He described embracing his personality and defying his tendency to please others. The essay had humor — it centered on a water gun fight where he had victory in sight but, in a comedic twist, slipped and fell. But the essay also reflects on his feelings of not being “Black enough” and getting made fun of for listening to “white people music.”

“I was like, ‘OK, I’m going to write this for me, and we’re just going to see how it goes,’” he said. “It just felt real, and it felt like an honest story.”

The essay describes a breakthrough as he learned “to take ownership of myself and my future by sharing my true personality with the people I encounter. … I realized that the first chapter of my own story had just been written.”

A ruling prompts pivots on essay topics

Like many students, Max Decker of Portland, Oregon, had drafted a college essay on one topic, only to change direction after the Supreme Court ruling in June.

Decker initially wrote about his love for video games. In a childhood surrounded by constant change, navigating his parents’ divorce, the games he took from place to place on his Nintendo DS were a source of comfort.

But the essay he submitted to colleges focused on the community he found through Word is Bond, a leadership group for young Black men in Portland.

As the only biracial, Jewish kid with divorced parents in a predominantly white, Christian community, Decker wrote he constantly felt like the odd one out. On a trip with Word is Bond to Capitol Hill, he and friends who looked just like him shook hands with lawmakers. The experience, he wrote, changed how he saw himself.

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“It’s because I’m different that I provide something precious to the world, not the other way around,” he wrote.

As a first-generation college student, Decker thought about the subtle ways his peers seemed to know more about navigating the admissions process. They made sure to get into advanced classes at the start of high school, and they knew how to secure glowing letters of recommendation.

If writing about race would give him a slight edge and show admissions officers a fuller picture of his achievements, he wanted to take that small advantage.

His first memory about race, Decker said, was when he went to get a haircut in elementary school and the barber made rude comments about his curly hair. Until recently, the insecurity that moment created led him to keep his hair buzzed short.

Through Word is Bond, Decker said he found a space to explore his identity as a Black man. It was one of the first times he was surrounded by Black peers and saw Black role models. It filled him with a sense of pride in his identity. No more buzzcut.

The pressure to write about race involved a tradeoff with other important things in his life, Decker said. That included his passion for journalism, like the piece he wrote on efforts to revive a once-thriving Black neighborhood in Portland. In the end, he squeezed in 100 characters about his journalism under the application’s activities section.

“My final essay, it felt true to myself. But the difference between that and my other essay was the fact that it wasn’t the truth that I necessarily wanted to share,” said Decker, whose top college choice is Tulane, in New Orleans, because of the region’s diversity. “It felt like I just had to limit the truth I was sharing to what I feel like the world is expecting of me.”

Spelling out the impact of race

Before the Supreme Court ruling, it seemed a given to Imani Laird that colleges would consider the ways that race had touched her life. But now, she felt like she had to spell it out.

As she started her essay, she reflected on how she had faced bias or felt overlooked as a Black student in predominantly white spaces.

There was the year in math class when the teacher kept calling her by the name of another Black student. There were the comments that she’d have an easier time getting into college because she was Black.

“I didn’t have it easier because of my race,” said Laird, a senior at Newton South High School in the Boston suburbs who was accepted at Wellesley and Howard University , and is waiting to hear from several Ivy League colleges. “I had stuff I had to overcome.”

In her final essays, she wrote about her grandfather, who served in the military but was denied access to GI Bill benefits because of his race.

She described how discrimination fueled her ambition to excel and pursue a career in public policy.

“So, I never settled for mediocrity,” she wrote. “Regardless of the subject, my goal in class was not just to participate but to excel. Beyond academics, I wanted to excel while remembering what started this motivation in the first place.”

Will schools lose racial diversity?

Amofa used to think affirmative action was only a factor at schools like Harvard and Yale. After the court’s ruling, she was surprised to find that race was taken into account even at some public universities she was applying to.

Now, without affirmative action, she wondered if mostly white schools will become even whiter.

It’s been on her mind as she chooses between Indiana University and the University of Dayton, both of which have relatively few Black students. When she was one of the only Black students in her grade school, she could fall back on her family and Ghanaian friends at church. At college, she worries about loneliness.

“That’s what I’m nervous about,” she said. “Going and just feeling so isolated, even though I’m constantly around people.”

The first drafts of her essay focused on growing up in a low-income family, sharing a bedroom with her brother and grandmother. But it didn’t tell colleges about who she is now, she said.

Her final essay tells how she came to embrace her natural hair. She wrote about going to a mostly white grade school where classmates made jokes about her afro. When her grandmother sent her back with braids or cornrows, they made fun of those too.

Over time, she ignored their insults and found beauty in the styles worn by women in her life. She now runs a business doing braids and other hairstyles in her neighborhood.

“I stopped seeing myself through the lens of the European traditional beauty standards and started seeing myself through the lens that I created,” Amofa wrote.

“Criticism will persist, but it loses its power when you know there’s a crown on your head!”

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Student Opinion

310 Prompts for Argumentative Writing

Questions on everything from mental health and sports to video games and dating. Which ones inspire you to take a stand?

By Natalie Proulx

Does social media harm young people’s mental health? Do video games deserve the bad rap they often get? Should parents track their children? Who is the greatest athlete of all time?

Every school day, we publish new questions for students based on the news of the day, including prompts, like these, that inspire persuasive writing.

Below, we’ve rounded up over 300 of those argumentative prompts, organized by topic, all in one place. They cover everything from parenting and schools to music and social media. Each one, drawn from our Student Opinion column , links to a free New York Times article as well as additional subquestions that can help you think more deeply about it.

You can use these prompts however you like, whether to inspire an entry for our new Open Letter Contest , to hone your persuasive writing skills or simply to share your opinions on the issues of today. So scroll through the list below and see which ones inspire you to take a stand.

If you enjoy these questions, know that you can find all of our argumentative writing prompts, as they publish, here . Students 13 and up from anywhere in the world are invited to comment.

Argumentative Prompt Topics

Technology and social media, college, work and money, health and relationships, gender and race, arts and entertainment, parenting and childhood, government and politics, animals, science and time.

Social Media

1. Does Social Media Harm Young People’s Mental Health? 2. How Much Should Speech Be Moderated on Social Media? 3. Should the United States Ban TikTok? 4. How Young Is Too Young to Use Social Media? 5. Should Kids Be Social Media Influencers? 6. What Should Be Done to Protect Children Online? 7. Should There Be Separate Social Media Apps for Children? 8. Are You a Fan of ‘School Accounts’ on Social Media? 9. Will Social Media Help or Hurt Your College and Career Goals? 10. Is It Ever OK to Use Strangers as Content for Social Media?

Phones and Devices

11. Should More Teenagers Ditch Their Smartphones? 12. Should the Adults in Your Life Be Worried by How Much You Use Your Phone? 13. Should Phones Ever Be a Part of Family or Holiday Gatherings? 14. What Are Your Texting Dos and Don’ts? 15. Does Grammar Still Matter in the Age of Twitter? 16. Is Your Phone Love Hurting Your Relationships? 17. Should Texting While Driving Be Treated Like Drunken Driving? 18. How Young Is Too Young for an Apple Watch?

The Internet

19. Do Memes Make the Internet a Better Place? 20. How Excited Are You About the Metaverse? 21. Should Websites Force Users to Prove How Old They Are? 22. What Is the Best Way to Stop Abusive Language Online? 23. How Do You Feel About Cancel Culture? 24. Does Online Public Shaming Prevent Us From Being Able to Grow and Change? 25. Do You Think Online Conspiracy Theories Can Be Dangerous? 26. Does Technology Make Us More Alone?

School Discipline and Attendance

27. Should Schools Ban Cellphones? 28. How Should Schools Hold Students Accountable for Hurting Others? 29. What Are Your Thoughts on Uniforms and Strict Dress Codes? 30. Should Schools Test Their Students for Nicotine and Drug Use? 31. How Can Schools Engage Students Who Are at Risk of Dropping Out? 32. Should Students Be Allowed to Miss School for Mental Health Reasons? 33. Should Your School Day Start Later? 34. Should There Still Be Snow Days? 35. Do Kids Need Recess? 36. Should Students Be Punished for Not Having Lunch Money?

School Quality and Effectiveness

37. How Do You Think American Education Could Be Improved? 38. Do Schools Need to Do More to Hold Students Accountable? 39. Are Straight A’s Always a Good Thing? 40. Should Students Have the Same Teachers Year After Year? 41. Do Teachers Assign Too Much Homework? 42. Should We Get Rid of Homework? 43. Should We Eliminate Gifted and Talented Programs? 44. Is It Time to Get Rid of Timed Tests? 45. What Role Should Textbooks Play in Education? 46. How Should Senior Year in High School Be Spent? 47. Does Your School Need More Money? 48. Do School Employees Deserve More Respect — and Pay? 49. Should Public Preschool Be a Right for All Children?

Teaching and Learning

50. Do You Think We Need to Change the Way Math Is Taught? 51. Should Financial Literacy Be a Required Course in School? 52. Should Schools Teach Students Kitchen and Household Skills? 53. Do We Need Better Music Education? 54. What Are the Most Important Things Students Should Learn in School? 55. What Is the Purpose of Teaching U.S. History? 56. Do Schools Need to Do More to Support Visual Thinkers? 57. Is School a Place for Self-Expression? 58. Should Media Literacy Be a Required Course in School? 59. Can Empathy Be Taught? Should Schools Try to Help Us Feel One Another’s Pain? 60. Should Schools Teach You How to Be Happy? 61. Should All Schools Teach Cursive? 62. Should Kids Still Learn to Tell Time? 63. How Important Is Knowing a Foreign Language

Technology in School

64. How Should Schools Respond to ChatGPT? 65. Does Learning to Be a Good Writer Still Matter in the Age of A.I.? 66. Is Online Learning Effective? 67. Should Students Be Monitored When Taking Online Tests? 68. Should Schools Be Able to Discipline Students for What They Say on Social Media? 69. Can Social Media Be a Tool for Learning and Growth in Schools? 70. Should Facial Recognition Technology Be Used in Schools? 71. Is Live-Streaming Classrooms a Good Idea? 72. Should Teachers and Professors Ban Student Use of Laptops in Class? 73. Are the Web Filters at Your School Too Restrictive?

Education Politics

74. Do You Feel Your School and Teachers Welcome Both Conservative and Liberal Points of View? 75. Should Students Learn About Climate Change in School? 76. Should Teachers Provide Trigger Warnings for ‘Traumatic Content’? 77. Should Teachers Be Allowed to Wear Political Symbols? 78. What Do You Think About Efforts to Ban Books From School Libraries? 79. What Is Your Reaction to the Growing Fight Over What Young People Can Read? 80. What Do You Think About the Controversy Surrounding the New A.P. Course on African American Studies? 81. Should Schools or Employers Be Allowed to Tell People How They Should Wear Their Hair? 82. Does Prayer Have Any Place in Public Schools? 83. Should Schools Be Allowed to Censor Student Newspapers?

College Admissions

84. Should Colleges Consider Standardized Tests in Admissions? 85. Should Students Let ChatGPT Help Them Write Their College Essays? 86. What Is Your Reaction to the End of Race-Based Affirmative Action in College Admissions? 87. Are Early-Decision Programs Unfair? Should Colleges Do Away With Them? 88. Is the College Admissions Process Fair? 89. How Much Do You Think It Matters Where You Go to College? 90. Should Everyone Go to College? 91. Should College Be Free? 92. Is Student Debt Worth It? 93. Should High Schools Post Their Annual College Lists?

Campus Life

94. What Should Free Speech Look Like on Campus? 95. Should Greek Life on College Campuses Come to an End? 96. Should Universities Work to Curtail Student Drinking? 97. How Should the Problem of Sexual Assault on Campuses Be Addressed? 98. Are Lavish Amenities on College Campuses Useful or Frivolous? 99. Should ‘Despised Dissenters’ Be Allowed to Speak on College Campuses? 100. Should Emotional Support Animals Be Allowed on College Campuses?

Jobs and Careers

101. Is High School a Good Time to Train for a Career? 102. Is There Such a Thing as a ‘Useless’ College Major? 103. Should All High School Students Have Part-Time Jobs? 104. Should National Service Be Required for All Young Americans? 105. Is It OK to Use Family Connections to Get a Job?

Money and Business

106. Do You Think the American Dream Is Real? 107. Should All Young People Learn How to Invest in the Stock Market? 108. Should We All Go Cashless? 109. When Should You Tip? 110. Should We End the Practice of Tipping? 111. Are You a Crypto Optimist or Skeptic? 112. Do Celebrities and Influencers Make You Want to Buy What They’re Selling? 113. Is $1 Billion Too Much Money for Any One Person to Have? 114. Are C.E.O.s Paid Too Much? 115. Is It Immoral to Increase the Price of Goods During a Crisis? 116. What Should Stores Do With Unsold Goods? 117. Is There a ‘Right Way’ to Be a Tourist? 118. Who Should We Honor on Our Money?

Mental Health

119. Is Teen Mental Health in a State of Crisis? 120. ‘Love-Bombing.’ ‘Gaslighting.’ ‘Victim.’ Is ‘Trauma Talk’ Overused? 121. Does Achieving Success Always Include Being Happy? 122. Is Struggle Essential to Happiness? 123. Should Schools Teach Mindfulness? 124. How Can We Bring an End to the ‘Epidemic of Loneliness’? 125. Does Every Country Need a ‘Loneliness Minister’? 126. What Ideas Do You Have to Bring Your Community Closer Together? 127. Are Emotional-Support Animals a Scam? 128. Is It OK to Laugh During Dark Times?

Dating and Relationships

129. Who Should Pay for Dates? 130. Do Marriage Proposals Still Have a Place in Today’s Society? 131. Should Your Significant Other Be Your Best Friend? 132. How Do You Think Technology Affects Dating?

Physical Health

133. Should Governments Do More to Discourage People From Smoking and Vaping? 134. How Should Adults Talk to Kids About Drugs? 135. Can Laziness Be a Good Thing? 136. Should There Be Requirements for Teens Who Want to Ride E-Bikes? 137. What Advice Should Parents and Counselors Give Teenagers About Sexting? 138. Should All Children Be Vaccinated? 139. Do We Worry Too Much About Germs?

140. Is It Becoming More Acceptable for Men and Boys to Cry? 141. Is It Harder for Men and Boys to Make and Keep Friends? 142. Should Award Shows Eliminate Gendered Categories? 143. Should There Be More Gender Options on Identification Documents? 144. Justice Ginsburg Fought for Gender Equality. How Close Are We to Achieving That Goal? 145. What Should #MeToo Mean for Teenage Boys? 146. What Is Hard About Being a Boy? 147. Should There Be More Boy Dolls? 148. Is Single-Sex Education Still Useful? 149. Are Beauty Pageants Still Relevant? 150. Should Period Products Be Free? 151. What Are Your Thoughts on Last Names? 152. What Rules Should Apply to Transgender Athletes When They Compete? 153. What Is Your Reaction to the Recent Wave of Legislation That Seeks to Regulate the Lives of Transgender Youths? 154. What Do You Wish Lawmakers Knew About How Anti-L.G.B.T.Q. Legislation Affects Teenagers?

Identity, Race and Ethnicity

155. How Should Schools Respond to Racist Jokes? 156. How Should Parents Teach Their Children About Race and Racism? 157. What Is Your Reaction to Efforts to Limit Teaching on Race in Schools? 158. How Should Racial Slurs in Literature Be Handled in the Classroom? 159. Should Confederate Statues Be Removed or Remain in Place? 160. Should We Rename Schools Named for Historical Figures With Ties to Racism, Sexism or Slavery? 161. How Should We Remember the Problematic Actions of the Nation’s Founders? 162. Does the United States Owe Reparations to the Descendants of Enslaved People? 163. What Can History Teach Us About Resilience? 164. Should All Americans Receive Anti-Bias Education? 165. Is Fear of ‘The Other’ Poisoning Public Life? 166. What Stereotypical Characters Make You Cringe? 167. When Talking About Identity, How Much Do Words Matter? 168. How Useful Is It to Be Multilingual?

TV and Movies

169. Is True Crime As a Form of Entertainment Ethical? 170. Should Old TV Shows Be Brought Back? 171. Does Reality TV Deserve Its Bad Rap? 172. How Closely Should Actors’ Identities Reflect the Roles They Play? 173. In the Age of Digital Streaming, Are Movie Theaters Still Relevant? 174. Do We Need More Female Superheroes? 175. Is Hollywood Becoming More Diverse? 176. When Does Lying in Comedy Cross a Line? 177. How Do You Feel About ‘Nepotism Babies’?

Music and Video Games

178. Will A.I. Replace Pop Stars? 179. If Two Songs Sound Alike, Is It Stealing? 180. Should Musicians Be Allowed to Copy or Borrow From Other Artists? 181. How Do You Feel About Censored Music? 182. What Are the Greatest Songs of All Time? 183. Do Video Games Deserve the Bad Rap They Often Get? 184. Should There Be Limits on How Much Time Young People Spend Playing Video Games? 185. Should More Parents Play Video Games With Their Kids?

186. Are A.I.-Generated Pictures Art? 187. What Work of Art Should Your Friends Fall in Love With? 188. If Artwork Offends People, Should It Be Removed? 189. Should Museums Return Looted Artifacts to Their Countries of Origin? 190. Should Art Come With Trigger Warnings? 191. Is the Digital Era Improving or Ruining the Experience of Art? 192. Are Museums Still Important in the Digital Age? 193. Can You Separate Art From the Artist? 194. Are There Subjects That Should Be Off-Limits to Artists, or to Certain Artists in Particular? 195. Should Graffiti Be Protected?

Books and Literature

196. Is Listening to a Book Just as Good as Reading It? 197. Should Classic Children’s Books Be Updated for Today’s Young Readers? 198. Should White Writers Translate a Black Author’s Work? 199. Is There Any Benefit to Reading Books You Hate? 200. Should Libraries Get Rid of Late Fees?

201. What’s the Best — and Worst — Part of Being a Sports Fan? 202. Who Is the GOAT? 203. Do Women’s Sports Deserve More Attention? 204. What Should Be Done About the Gender Pay Gap in Sports? 205. Should Girls and Boys Sports Teams Compete in the Same League? 206. Should More Sports Be Coed? 207. College Athletes Can Now Be Paid. But Not All of Them Are Seeing Money. Is That Fair? 208. Should High School-Age Basketball Players Be Able to Get Paid? 209. Are Some Youth Sports Too Intense? 210. Are Youth Sports Too Competitive? 211. Is It Bad Sportsmanship to Run Up the Score in Youth Sports? 212. Is It Ethical to Be a Football Fan? 213. Does the N.F.L. Have a Race Problem? 214. What New Rules Would Improve Your Favorite Sport? 215. What Sports Deserve More Hype? 216. How Should We Punish Sports Cheaters? 217. Should Technology in Sports Be Limited? 218. Does Better Sports Equipment Unfairly Improve Athletic Ability? 219. Is It Offensive for Sports Teams and Their Fans to Use Native American Names, Imagery and Gestures? 220. Is It Selfish to Pursue Risky Sports Like Extreme Mountain Climbing? 221. Should Cheerleading Be an Olympic Sport?

Related Writing Prompt

222. Should Parents Ever Be Held Responsible for the Harmful Actions of Their Children? 223. Where Is the Line Between Helping a Child Become More Resilient and Pushing Them Too Hard? 224. Should Parents Give Children More Responsibility at Younger Ages? 225. Should Parents Tell Children the Truth About Santa? 226. Should Parents Weigh in on Their Kids’ Dating Lives? 227. Should Parents Track Their Children? 228. How Should Parents Support a Student Who Has Fallen Behind in School? 229. Do Parents Ever Cross a Line by Helping Too Much With Schoolwork? 230. What’s the Best Way to Discipline Children? 231. What Are Your Thoughts on ‘Snowplow Parents’? 232. Should Stay-at-Home Parents Be Paid? 233. Should Parents Bribe Their Children?

Childhood and Growing Up

234. Is It Harder to Grow Up in the 21st Century Than It Was in the Past? 235. Is Childhood Today Over-Supervised? 236. When Do You Become an Adult? 237. Who Should Decide Whether a Teenager Can Get a Tattoo or Piercing? 238. Do We Give Children Too Many Trophies? 239. What Can Older Generations Learn From Gen Z? 240. What Is the Worst Toy Ever?

Legislation and Policy

241. Should the Death Penalty Be Abolished? 242. Should Marijuana Be Legal? 243. Should the United States Decriminalize the Possession of Drugs? 244. What Is Your Reaction to the State of Abortion Rights? 245. Should the Government Cancel Student Debt? 246. Should Public Transit Be Free? 247. Should There Be More Public Restrooms? 248. Should the U.S. Be Doing More to Prevent Child Poverty? 249. Should the Government Provide a Guaranteed Income for Families With Children? 250. Should Law Enforcement Be Able to Use DNA Data From Genealogy Websites for Criminal Investigations?

Gun Violence

251. Are You Concerned About Violence in America? 252. How Should Americans Deal With the Problem of Gun Violence? 253. What Should Lawmakers Do About Guns and Gun Violence? 254. Should the U.S. Ban Military-Style Semiautomatic Weapons? 255. Should Teachers Be Armed With Guns?

Voting and Elections

256. How Much Faith Do You Have in the U.S. Political System? 257. Is the Electoral College a Problem? Does It Need to Be Fixed? 258. Does Everyone Have a Responsibility to Vote? 259. Should We All Be Able to Vote by Mail? 260. Should There Be a Minimum Voting Age? 261. Should the Voting Age Be Lowered to 16? 262. Should Ex-Felons Have the Right to Vote? 263. Are Presidential Debates Helpful to Voters? Or Should They Be Scrapped?

Freedoms and Rights

264. How Important Is Freedom of the Press? 265. Why Does the Right to Protest Matter? 266. Does the U.S. Constitution Need an Equal Rights Amendment? 267. Do You Care Who Sits on the Supreme Court? Should We Care? 268. Should You Have a Right to Be Rude? 269. Should Prisons Offer Incarcerated People Education Opportunities?

Civic Participation

270. Are You Optimistic About the State of the World? 271. If You Could Take On One Problem Facing Our World, What Would It Be? 272. If You Were Mayor, What Problems Facing Your Community Would You Tackle? 273. Do You Think Teenagers Can Make a Difference in the World? 274. Do You Think It Is Important for Teenagers to Participate in Political Activism? 275. Is Your Generation Doing Its Part to Strengthen Our Democracy? 276. How Is Your Generation Changing Politics? 277. Why Is It Important for People With Different Political Beliefs to Talk to Each Other? 278. Are We Being Bad Citizens If We Don’t Keep Up With the News? 279. Why Do Bystanders Sometimes Fail to Help When They See Someone in Danger? 280. When Is It OK to Be a Snitch? 281. Should Reporters Ever Help the People They Are Covering? 282. Should Celebrities Weigh In on Politics? 283. Should Athletes Speak Out On Social and Political Issues? 284. Should Corporations Take Political Stands? 285. What Do You Think the Role of the First Lady — or First Spouse — Should Be Today?

286. Is Animal Testing Ever Justified? 287. What Is Our Responsibility to Lab Animals? 288. What Are Your Thoughts About Hunting Animals? 289. Should We Be Concerned With Where We Get Our Pets? 290. What Do You Think of Pet Weddings? 291. Is It Wrong to Focus on Animal Welfare When Humans Are Suffering? 292. Should We Bring Back Animals From Extinction? 293. Are Zoos Immoral? 294. Do Bugs Deserve More Respect?

Environment and Science

295. What Role Should Young People Play in the Fight Against Climate Change? 296. Should We Be More Optimistic About Efforts to Combat Climate Change? 297. How Far Is Too Far in the Fight Against Climate Change? 298. Should Plastic Bags Be Banned Everywhere? 299. Is It Ethical to Create Genetically Edited Humans? 300. Should We Still Be Sending Astronauts to Space? 301. Do You Think Pluto Should Be a Planet? 302. Should We Treat Robots Like People?

Time and Seasons

303. What Is the Best Month of the Year? What Is the Worst? 304. Would Life Be Better Without Time Zones? 305. Do You Think It Is Time to Get Rid of Daylight Saving Time? 306. When Do Holiday Decorations Go From Festive to Excessive? 307. Should We Rethink Thanksgiving? 308. When Does a Halloween Costume Cross the Line? 309. Should School Be a Place to Celebrate Halloween? 310. Should the Week Be Four Days Instead of Five?

Students 13 and older in the United States and Britain, and 16 and older elsewhere, are invited to comment. All comments are moderated by the Learning Network staff, but please keep in mind that once your comment is accepted, it will be made public and may appear in print.

Find more Student Opinion questions here. Teachers, check out this guide to learn how you can incorporate these prompts into your classroom.

Natalie Proulx joined The Learning Network as a staff editor in 2017 after working as an English language arts teacher and curriculum writer. More about Natalie Proulx

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I’ve spent a lifetime dreading the loss of a parent. And now it’s finally happened

I am shocked at how shocked I am. Why are we so unprepared when the inevitable comes to pass?

R ound at my mate’s house, one Saturday morning when I was 17 years old, something astounding appeared on his television. This was 3 November 1984. I know this for sure because I just looked it up. It was the day Indira Gandhi was cremated. Laid out on a sandalwood pyre, her head clearly visible, her body – her actual body – was in plain sight as her son lit the pyre to see his mother, in the words of most newspaper reports, consigned to flames .

I was aghast, horrified. But my friend’s dad said a thing that made me think again. It went something like this: “No, I think it’s very healthy. Death’s too hidden away in our society. I was in my 40s before I saw a dead body, and it was my father’s. What preparation did I have for that?” These words stuck fast in my mind.

And in the blink of an eye, almost 40 years on, last week it was me finding myself with a dead body for the first time, and it was my dad’s. Where was my preparation for this moment? I’d picked up precious little since watching Gandhi’s mortal remains disappear on that wide-eyed morning half a lifetime ago. Would this moment have been any easier if I’d spent the intervening years in a society less inclined to hide away its dead, in a world of public, coffin-less cremations or wakes with open caskets? I don’t know. I asked a couple of close friends with experience of both, one of Punjabi heritage, the other Irish. They didn’t know either. Both winced at some challenging childhood memories.

I tried to compute what was in front of me. I was surprised at how sure I was that the body itself was now irrelevant. His soul, his consciousness, his – how can I put it? – his himness had vanished. It wasn’t him. This was reassuring insomuch as it rendered what I was looking at kind of meaningless. But that’s not to say I will ever be able to unsee it so, again, I just don’t know.

I remain shocked at how shocked I am at his dying. After all, he was 86, we knew it was coming and it was a mercy to him – to all of us – that it came when it did. And though I loved him greatly, I’m surprised and even a bit guilty about being so terribly upset. It feels not far short of self-indulgent when I share the news with those of my friends who lost parents, let alone siblings and children, way before their time. It’s these tragedies that consume our attention, which is quite understandable, and as it should be. But I for one had slightly lost sight of the fact that standard, common or garden, had-a-good-innings-type deaths of aged parents remain bloody awful.

So, if you don’t mind, herewith, in no particular order, some thoughts. Just stuff that’s occurred to me since my dad had a fall (dread phrase), fracturing his shoulder, on 20 January. He was discharged from A&E that night, and a few days later a rehabilitation bed was found for him in a rural community hospital nearly an hour’s drive away. He died there six weeks later.

Here’s a thing: in the 10 days since, I’ve typed that word died hundreds of times, yet I’m still shocked every time I do so. Just when I was starting to get used to it, I got a text referring to my “dad’s death”. I’d not seen it expressed like that. Death. Death rather than died. It floored me. Odd that. Dying, too; I flinched as I typed that above. Wow. If even the most basic nouns and verbs lie in wait, scattered on this Via Dolorosa like shards of glass, how are you supposed to negotiate any of it?

This little hospital was a nice place, with kindness available to him day and night. But it slowly became clear he wouldn’t be coming out of there. I suppose the thing about a deathbed is that you don’t want to be on it for too long. For a while it felt as if he was stuck between a life he didn’t want to live any more and a death he didn’t want to die. The notion of life being thrown into reverse, into “the whole hideous inverted childhood”, as Larkin put it , turns out to be devastatingly, almost farcically accurate. Of all the many indignities involved there was one that finished me off: seeing Dad reduced to drinking from a sippy cup. A sippy cup, for fuck’s sake. Enough. I just looked up that poem and couldn’t even get past its title. I can’t even type the title here. I may well never read it again.

As the end rushed towards us, I realised that there are two types of people in the world. There are those who are familiar with dying and death, and there are those who aren’t. In the former group are doctors and nurses, emergency service workers, clerics, undertakers and so on. These people, and thank God for them, know what to expect and what to do. In the vast majority are the rest of us, who are woefully – mercifully? – short of “hands-on” experience of the dead. And still less of the process of dying, of the hours, minutes and moments before the end comes.

Initially, alone with him, I veered wildly between fear, gratitude, horror, grief, patience and impatience. I sat, stood or paced around. I did a Wordle, read a Jack Reacher novel, ate a scotch egg. Everything felt a bit wrong. Once the rest of the family were there it felt better. All the above still applied but now a little laughter found its way into the room. And so the moments passed.

And then it happened.

All my life I’d worried about my dad dying. Other close family too, obviously, but mainly my dad. I’ve no idea why. Here I was, around half a century after I first started worrying about this very thing happening. And it had happened. I couldn’t, and can’t, get my head around much at all. About the only thing I am sure of is that 50 years of worrying about it was properly pointless. Because imagining – let’s call it pre-feeling – this pain turned out to be no preparation at all for the real thing.

Peter John Chiles. Born 18 February 1938. Died 9 March 2024.

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster, writer and Guardian columnist

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• Death and dying
• Parents and parenting

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