winning ivy prep uc essays

UC Essay Example: Personal Insight Question #7

by Winning Ivy Prep Team | Feb 3, 2023 | UC Personal Insight Essay Examples

This UC Prompt is one that students seem to gravitate towards. So, we have tons of UC Personal Insight Essay examples for this one. 

So, what have you done to make your school or community a better place?

A lot, I’m sure. But how do you put all this passion and hard-work into 350 words? That’s what makes answering the UC Personal Insight Questions so tricky. But don’t fret! In this post, we’ve got a successful, creative UC essay prompt 7 example for you. 

And if you’re looking for more UC Personal Insight Questions examples, checkout this blogpost: 2020 Ultimate Guide: 20 UC essay examples .

UC Personal Insight Example: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

Within six months, four students from my school district committed suicide, shocking the community.  These were our classmates and neighbors—why did they do it?  As a good friend to one of the students, I knew he suffered from insomnia—and I wondered about the correlation between unhealthy sleep habits and depression.   

My sorrow and yearning for clarity directed me towards sleep research—I walked into Dr. _____ leading sleep research lab at the VA Hospital, seeking to join their mission to better understand sleep.  I was blessed when she took me on as an intern during my sophomore year.  Dr. _____’s lab focuses on cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-i).  CBT-i tackles insomnia on two fronts: cognitive therapy helps patients overcome mental sleeping blocks, and behavioral therapy ensures that the patients’ behaviors enhance sleep.  We investigate individual effects of the cognitive and behavioral parts.

This was my chance to learn about the science behind insomnia—especially about its effects on our overall wellness—to better understand my friend’s tragic situation.  My first duty was patient recruitment through marketing our clinical study to the community, but soon transitioned to data analysis and treatment.  Statistical programs such as R and SAS became my best friends, and tests for cognitive ability and neuropsychological status like MOCA and RBANS were my favorite patient evaluations.  I’ve always enjoyed science, but my time with Dr. _____ helped me gain a deeper appreciation for research.

Research and medicine are integral parts of my future—there is still ways to go in finding an effective long-term solution to teenage sleep issues and well-being.   I have ideas such as marketing CBT-i sleep therapy to increase its accessibility and prevent more tragedies like the ones at my school, and the guidance of UC professors as well as the tight-knit student body gives me the best chances of pursuing my goals and contribute back to the community.  An education in the University of California system would provide me with plentiful resources to continue making strides towards solving this problem.

Source: One of my students that was admitted to Berkeley & UCLA.

UC Personal Insight Prompt #7 Pro Tips

Hold on! Before you go off and write your UC Essays, take a moment and analyze the strengths of this UC Personal Insight example. We’re giving you highly successful UC essay examples here — in fact, this student got into all the UCs he applied to, including UCLA and Berkeley. So, here are some best practices and tips. 

UC Prompt 7 Tip #1: Consider a unique angle

Most essays I read that attempt to answer this UC Personal Insight Question prompt 7 usually delve deeply into volunteering and community service. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s always nice to read a fresh take on a prompt that gets almost monotonous. This UC essay example does a fantastic job of creating a unique take on this prompt!

UC Essay Example Tip #2: Discuss goals for the future

Many UC essays I read do a good job of telling the story of the past/present. For instance, this UC essay example does just that — it talks in great detail about the student’s research and the motivation behind his research project. This UC Personal Insight example however, goes one step further than most others: The student ends the essay by giving a concrete idea of how he wants to take his current research and delve deeper into it at a UC. 

This idea is important because UC admissions officers love to see that students aren’t doing activities for the sake of doing it — admissions officers love it when students are passionate about the extracurricular activity, and have ideas to continue pursuing it throughout college to contribute to the academic environment!

UC Essay Example Tip #3. Show your curiosity

A common pitfall that students have when writing UC essays (and college essays in general) is throwing around words like “passion” with nothing to back it up. 

Remember: you’ve got to show , not tell. 

This particular UC essay example does a great job doing that. This student makes it abundantly clear: He has a genuine, deep love for learning. He has a personal WHY he is invested in tackling the issue of sleep, which compels him to follow his curiosities into a research setting. 

This motivation to seek opportunities to deepen your interests in an academic setting is absolutely critical to be a successful UC applicant (at least, for UCLA and UC Berkeley). 

Alright, now that we’ve gone through this successful UC essay prompt 7 example, you’re probably wondering: how are you going to write a stellar UC essay yourself? Well, we’ve got you covered! Take a look at this UC Personal Insight essay guide . 

Attend FREE, LIVE elite college admissions lightning talks!

Graduation year 2024 2025 2026 2027

Parent or student Parent Student

You have successfully subscribed, thank you!

We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe at any time.

UC Admissions

• [2023 Updated] UC Personal Insight Essay Examples
• UC Personal Insight Essay Ultimate Guide
• UC Essay Tips

Follow Our Awesome Posts!

Choose Your Test

Sat / act prep online guides and tips, how to write a perfect uc essay for every prompt.

College Essays

If you're applying to any University of California (UC) campus as an incoming first-year student , then you have a special challenge ahead of you. Applicants need to answer four UC personal insight questions, chosen from a pool of eight unique prompts different from those on the Common App. But not to worry! This article is here to help.

In this article, I'll dissect the eight UC essay prompts in detail. What are they asking you for? What do they want to know about you? What do UC admissions officers really care about? How do you avoid boring or repulsing them with your essay?

I'll break down all of these important questions for each prompt and discuss how to pick the four prompts that are perfect for you. I'll also give you examples of how to make sure your essay fully answers the question. Finally, I'll offer step-by-step instructions on how to come up with the best ideas for your UC personal statements.

What Are the UC Personal Insight Questions?

If you think about it, your college application is mostly made up of numbers: your GPA, your SAT scores, the number of AP classes you took, how many years you spent playing volleyball. But these numbers reveal only so much. The job of admissions officers is to put together a class of interesting, compelling individuals—but a cut-and-dried achievement list makes it very hard to assess whether someone is interesting or compelling. This is where the personal insight questions come in.

The UC application essays are your way to give admissions staff a sense of your personality, your perspective on the world, and some of the experiences that have made you into who you are. The idea is to share the kinds of things that don't end up on your transcript. It's helpful to remember that you are not writing this for you. You're writing for an audience of people who do not know you but are interested to learn about you. The essay is meant to be a revealing look inside your thoughts and feelings.

These short essays—each with a 350-word limit—are different from the essays you write in school, which tend to focus on analyzing someone else's work. Really, the application essays are much closer to a short story. They rely heavily on narratives of events from your life and on your descriptions of people, places, and feelings.

If you'd like more background on college essays, check out our explainer for a very detailed breakdown of exactly how personal statements work in an application .

Now, let's dive into the eight University of California essay questions. First, I'll compare and contrast these prompts. Then I'll dig deep into each UC personal statement question individually, exploring what it's really trying to find out and how you can give the admissions officers what they're looking for.

Think of each personal insight essay as a brief story that reveals something about your personal values, interests, motivations, and goals.

Comparing the UC Essay Prompts

Before we can pull these prompts apart, let's first compare and contrast them with each other . Clearly, UC wants you to write four different essays, and they're asking you eight different questions. But what are the differences? And are there any similarities?

The 8 UC Essay Prompts

#1: Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time.

#2: Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

#3: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

#4: Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

#5: Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

#6: Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

#7: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

#8: Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

How to Tell the UC Essay Prompts Apart

• Topics 1 and 7 are about your engagement with the people, things, and ideas around you. Consider the impact of the outside world on you and how you handled that impact.
• Topics 2 and 6 are about your inner self, what defines you, and what makes you the person that you are. Consider your interior makeup—the characteristics of the inner you.
• Topics 3, 4, 5, and 8 are about your achievements. Consider what you've accomplished in life and what you are proud of doing.

These very broad categories will help when you're brainstorming ideas and life experiences to write about for your essay. Of course, it's true that many of the stories you think of can be shaped to fit each of these prompts. Still, think about what the experience most reveals about you .

If it's an experience that shows how you have handled the people and places around you, it'll work better for questions in the first group. If it's a description of how you express yourself, it's a good match for questions in group two. If it's an experience that tells how you acted or what you did, it's probably a better fit for questions in group three.

For more help, check out our article on coming up with great ideas for your essay topic .

Reflect carefully on the eight UC prompts to decide which four questions you'll respond to.

How Is This Guide Organized?

We analyze all eight UC prompts in this guide, and for each one, we give the following information:

• The prompt itself and any accompanying instructions
• What each part of the prompt is asking for
• Why UC is using this prompt and what they hope to learn from you
• All the key points you should cover in your response so you answer the complete prompt and give UC insight into who you are

Dissecting Personal Insight Question 1

The prompt and its instructions.

Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time.

Things to consider: A leadership role can mean more than just a title. It can mean being a mentor to others, acting as the person in charge of a specific task, or taking a lead role in organizing an event or project. Think about your accomplishments and what you learned from the experience. What were your responsibilities?

Did you lead a team? How did your experience change your perspective on leading others? Did you help to resolve an important dispute at your school, church in your community or an organization? And your leadership role doesn't necessarily have to be limited to school activities. For example, do you help out or take care of your family?

What's the Question Asking?

The prompt wants you to describe how you handled a specific kind of relationship with a group of people—a time when you took the reigns and the initiative. Your answer to this prompt will consist of two parts.

Part 1: Explain the Dilemma

Before you can tell your story of leading, brokering peace, or having a lasting impact on other people, you have to give your reader a frame of reference and a context for your actions .

First, describe the group of people you interacted with. Who were and what was their relationship to you? How long were you in each others' lives?

Second, explain the issue you eventually solved. What was going on before you stepped in? What was the immediate problem? Were there potential long-term repercussions?

Leadership isn't limited to officer roles in student organizations. Think about experiences in which you've taken charge, resolved conflicts, or taken care of loved ones.

Part 2: Describe Your Solution

This is where your essay will have to explicitly talk about your own actions .

Discuss what thought process led you to your course of action. Was it a last-ditch effort or a long-planned strategy? Did you think about what might happen if you didn't step in? Did you have to choose between several courses of action?

Explain how you took the bull by the horns. Did you step into the lead role willingly, or were you pushed despite some doubts? Did you replace or supersede a more obvious leader?

Describe your solution to the problem or your contribution to resolving the ongoing issue. What did you do? How did you do it? Did your plan succeed immediately or did it take some time?

Consider how this experience has shaped the person you have now become. Do you think back on this time fondly as being the origin of some personal quality or skill? Did it make you more likely to lead in other situations?

What's UC Hoping to Learn about You?

College will be an environment unlike any of the ones you've found yourself in up to now. Sure, you will have a framework for your curriculum, and you will have advisers available to help. But for the most part, you will be on your own to deal with the situations that will inevitably arise when you mix with your diverse peers . UC wants to make sure that

• you have the maturity to deal with groups of people,
• you can solve problems with your own ingenuity and resourcefulness, and
• you don't lose your head and panic at problems.

Demonstrating your problem-solving abilities in your UC college essay will make you a stronger candidate for admission.

How Can You Give Them What They Want?

So how can you make sure those qualities come through in your essay?

Pick Your Group

The prompt very specifically wants you to talk about an interaction with a group of people. Let's say a group has to be at least three people.

Raise the Stakes

Think of the way movies ratchet up the tension of the impending catastrophe before the hero swoops in and saves the day. Keeping an audience on tenterhooks is important—and distinguishes the hero for the job well done. Similarly, when reading your essay, the admissions staff has to fundamentally understand exactly what you and the group you ended up leading were facing. Why was this an important problem to solve?

Balance You versus Them

Personal statements need to showcase you above all things . Because this essay will necessarily have to spend some time on other people, you need to find a good proportion of them-time and me-time. In general, the first (setup) section of the essay should be shorter because it will not be focused on what you were doing. The second section should take the rest of the space. So, in a 350-word essay, maybe 100–125 words go to setup whereas 225–250 words should be devoted to your leadership and solution.

Find Your Arc

Not only do you need to show how your leadership helped you meet the challenge you faced, but you also have to show how the experience changed you . In other words, the outcome was double-sided: you affected the world, and the world affected you right back.

Give your response to question 1 a compelling arc that demonstrates your personal growth.

Dissecting Personal Insight Question 2

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

Things to consider: What does creativity mean to you? Do you have a creative skill that is important to you? What have you been able to do with that skill? If you used creativity to solve a problem, what was your solution? What are the steps you took to solve the problem?

How does your creativity influence your decisions inside or outside the classroom? Does your creativity relate to your major or a future career?

This question is trying to probe the way you express yourself. Its broad description of "creativity" gives you the opportunity to make almost anything you create that didn't exist before fit the topic. What this essay question is really asking you to do is to examine the role your brand of creativity plays in your sense of yourself . The essay will have three parts.

Part 1: Define Your Creativity

What exactly do you produce, make, craft, create, or generate? Of course, the most obvious answer would be visual art, performance art, or music. But in reality, there is creativity in all fields. Any time you come up with an idea, thought, concept, or theory that didn't exist before, you are being creative. So your job is to explain what you spend time creating.

Part 2: Connect Your Creative Drive to Your Overall Self

Why do you do what you do? Are you doing it for external reasons—to perform for others, to demonstrate your skill, to fulfill some need in the world? Or is your creativity private and for your own use—to unwind, to distract yourself from other parts of your life, to have personal satisfaction in learning a skill? Are you good at your creative endeavor, or do you struggle with it? If you struggle, why is it important to you to keep pursuing it?

Part 3: Connect Your Creative Drive With Your Future

The most basic way to do this is by envisioning yourself actually pursuing your creative endeavor professionally. But this doesn't have to be the only way you draw this link. What have you learned from what you've made? How has it changed how you interact with other objects or with people? Does it change your appreciation for the work of others or motivate you to improve upon it?

Connecting your current creative pursuits with your chosen major or career will help UC admissions staff understand your motivations and intentions.

Nothing characterizes higher education like the need for creative thinking, unorthodox ideas in response to old topics, and the ability to synthesize something new . That is what you are going to college to learn how to do better. UC's second personal insight essay wants to know whether this mindset of out-of-the-box-ness is something you are already comfortable with. They want to see that

• you have actually created something in your life or academic career,
• you consider this an important quality within yourself,
• you have cultivated your skills, and
• you can see and have considered the impact of your creativity on yourself or on the world around you.

College admissions counselors, professors, and employers all value the skill of thinking outside the box, so being able to demonstrate that skill is crucial.

How can you really show that you are committed to being a creative person?

Be Specific and Descriptive

It's not enough to vaguely gesture at your creative field. Instead, give a detailed and lively description of a specific thing or idea that you have created . For example, I could describe a Turner painting as "a seascape," or I could call it "an attempt to capture the breathtaking power and violence of an ocean storm as it overwhelms a ship." Which painting would you rather look at?

Give a Sense of History

The question wants a little narrative of your relationship to your creative outlet . How long have you been doing it? Did someone teach you or mentor you? Have you taught it to others? Where and when do you create?

Hit a Snag; Find the Success

Anything worth doing is worth doing despite setbacks, this question argues—and it wants you to narrate one such setback. So first, figure out something that interfered with your creative expression .  Was it a lack of skill, time, or resources? Too much or not enough ambition in a project? Then, make sure this story has a happy ending that shows you off as the solver of your own problems: What did you do to fix the situation? How did you do it?

Show Insight

Your essay should include some thoughtful consideration of how this creative pursuit has shaped you , your thoughts, your opinions, your relationships with others, your understanding of creativity in general, or your dreams about your future. (Notice I said "or," not "and"—350 words is not enough to cover all of those things!)

Dissecting Personal Insight Question 3

What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

Things to consider: If there's a talent or skill that you're proud of, this is the time to share it. You don't necessarily have to be recognized or have received awards for your talent (although if you did and you want to talk about, feel free to do so). Why is this talent or skill meaningful to you?

Does the talent come naturally or have you worked hard to develop this skill or talent? Does your talent or skill allow you opportunities in or outside the classroom? If so, what are they and how do they fit into your schedule?

Basically, what's being asked for here is a beaming rave. Whatever you write about, picture yourself talking about it with a glowing smile on your face.

Part 1: Narrative

The first part of the question really comes down to this: Tell us a story about what's amazing about you. Have you done an outstanding thing? Do you have a mind-blowing ability? Describe a place, a time, or a situation in which you were a star.

A close reading of this first case of the prompt reveals that you don't need to stress if you don't have an obvious answer. Sure, if you're playing first chair violin in the symphony orchestra, that qualifies as both a "talent" and an "accomplishment." But the word "quality" really gives you the option of writing about any one of your most meaningful traits. And the words "contribution" and "experience" open up the range of possibilities that you could write about even further. A contribution could be anything from physically helping put something together to providing moral or emotional support at a critical moment.

But the key to the first part is the phrase "important to you." Once again, what you write about is not as important as how you write about it. Being able to demonstrate the importance of the event that you're describing reveals much more about you than the specific talent or characteristic ever could.

Part 2: Insight and Personal Development

The second part of the last essay asked you to look to the future. The second part of this essay wants you to look at the present instead. The general task is similar, however. Once again, you're being asked to make connections:  How do you fit this quality you have or this achievement you accomplished into the story of who you are?

A close reading of the second part of this prompt lands on the word "proud." This is a big clue that the revelation this essay is looking for should be a very positive one. In other words, this is probably not the time to write about getting arrested for vandalism. Instead, focus on a skill that you've carefully honed, and clarify how that practice and any achievements connected with your talent have earned you concrete opportunities or, more abstractly, personal growth.

Remember to connect the talent or skill you choose to write about with your sense of personal identity and development.

What's UC Hoping to Learn About You?

Admissions officers have a very straightforward interest in learning about your accomplishments. By the end of high school, many of the experiences that you are most proud of don't tend to be the kind of things that end up on your résumé .

They want to know what makes you proud of yourself. Is it something that relates to performance, to overcoming a difficult obstacle, to keeping a cool head in a crisis, to your ability to help others in need?

At the same time, they are looking for a sense of maturity. In order to be proud of an accomplishment, it's important to be able to understand your own values and ideals. This is your chance to show that you truly understand the qualities and experiences that make you a responsible and grown-up person, someone who will thrive in the independence of college life. In other words, although you might really be proud that you managed to tag 10 highway overpasses with graffiti, that's probably not the achievement to brag about here.

Unless you were hired by the city to paint the overpasses, in which case definitely brag about it.

The trick with this prompt is how to show a lot about yourself without listing accomplishments or devolving into cliche platitudes. Let's take it step by step.

Step #1: Explain Your Field

Make sure that somewhere in your narrative (preferably closer to the beginning), you let the reader know what makes your achievement an achievement . Not all interests are mainstream, so it helps your reader to understand what you're facing if you give a quick sketch of, for example, why it's challenging to build a battle bot that can defeat another fighting robot or how the difficulties of extemporaneous debate compare with debating about a prepared topic.

Keep in mind that for some things, the explanation might be obvious. For example, do you really need to explain why finishing a marathon is a hard task?

Step #2: Zoom in on a Specific Experience

Think about your talent, quality, or accomplishment in terms of experiences that showcase it. Conversely, think about your experiences in terms of the talent, quality, or accomplishment they demonstrate. Because you're once again going to be limited to 350 words, you won't be able to fit all the ways in which you exhibit your exemplary skill into this essay. This means that you'll need to figure out how to best demonstrate your ability through one event in which you displayed it . Or if you're writing about an experience you had or a contribution you made, you'll need to also point out what personality trait or characteristic it reveals.

Step #3: Find a Conflict or a Transition

The first question asked for a description, but this one wants a story—a narrative of how you pursue your special talent or how you accomplished the skill you were so great at. The main thing about stories is that they have to have the following:

• A beginning: This is the setup, when you weren't yet the star you are now.
• An obstacle or a transition: Sometimes, a story has a conflict that needs to be resolved: something that stood in your way, a challenge that you had to figure out a way around, a block that you powered through. Other times, a story is about a change or a transformation: you used to believe, think, or be one thing, and now you are different or better.
• A resolution: When your full power, self-knowledge, ability, or future goal is revealed.

If, for example, you taught yourself to become a gifted coder, how did you first learn this skill? What challenges did you overcome in your learning? What does this ability say about your character, motivations, or goals?

Dissecting Personal Insight Question 4

Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

Things to consider: An educational opportunity can be anything that has added value to your educational experience and better prepared you for college. For example, participation in an honors or academic enrichment program, or enrollment in an academy that's geared toward an occupation or a major, or taking advanced courses that interest you—just to name a few.

If you choose to write about educational barriers you've faced, how did you overcome or strive to overcome them? What personal characteristics or skills did you call on to overcome this challenge? How did overcoming this barrier help shape who are you today?

Cue the swelling music because this essay is going to be all about your inspirational journey. You will either tell your story of overcoming adversity against all (or some) odds or of pursuing the chance of a lifetime.

If you write about triumphing over adversity, your essay will include the following:

A description of the setback that befell you: The prompt wants to know what you consider a challenge in your school life. And definitely note that this challenge should have in some significant way impacted your academics rather than your life overall.

The challenge can be a wide-reaching problem in your educational environment or something that happened specifically to you. The word "barrier" also shows that the challenge should be something that stood in your way: If only that thing weren't there, then you'd be sure to succeed.

An explanation of your success: Here, you'll talk about what you did when faced with this challenge. Notice that the prompt asks you to describe the "work" you put in to overcome the problem. So this piece of the essay should focus on your actions, thoughts, ideas, and strategies.

Although the essay doesn't specify it, this section should also at some point turn reflexive. How are you defined by this thing that happened? You could discuss the emotional fallout of having dramatically succeeded or how your maturity level, concrete skills, or understanding of the situation has increased now that you have dealt with it personally. Or you could talk about any beliefs or personal philosophy that you have had to reevaluate as a result of either the challenge itself or of the way that you had to go about solving it.

If you write about an educational opportunity, your essay will include the following:

A short, clear description of exactly what you got the chance to do: In your own words, explain what the opportunity was and why it's special.

Also, explain why you specifically got the chance to do it. Was it the culmination of years of study? An academic contest prize? An unexpected encounter that led to you seizing an unlooked-for opportunity?

How you made the best of it: It's one thing to get the opportunity to do something amazing, but it's another to really maximize what you get out of this chance for greatness. This is where you show just how much you understand the value of what you did and how you've changed and grown as a result of it.

Were you very challenged by this opportunity? Did your skills develop? Did you unearth talents you didn't know you had?

How does this impact your future academic ambitions or interests? Will you study this area further? Does this help you find your academic focus?

If writing about an educational obstacle you overcame, make sure to describe not just the challenge itself but also how you overcame it and how breaking down that barrier changed you for the better.

Of course, whatever you write about in this essay is probably already reflected on your résumé or in your transcript in some small way. But UC wants to go deeper, to find out how seriously you take your academic career, and to assess  how thoughtfully you've approached either its ups or its downs.

In college, there will be many amazing opportunities, but they aren't simply there for the taking. Instead, you will be responsible for seizing whatever chances will further your studies, interests, or skills.

Conversely, college will necessarily be more challenging, harder, and potentially much more full of academic obstacles than your academic experiences so far. UC wants to see that you are up to handling whatever setbacks may come your way with aplomb rather than panic.

Define the Problem or Opportunity

Not every challenge is automatically obvious. Sure, everyone can understand the drawbacks of having to miss a significant amount of school because of illness, but what if the obstacle you tackled is something a little more obscure? Likewise, winning the chance to travel to Italy to paint landscapes with a master is clearly rare and amazing, but some opportunities are more specialized and less obviously impressive. Make sure your essay explains everything the reader will need to know to understand what you were facing.

Watch Your Tone

An essay describing problems can easily slip into finger-pointing and self-pity. Make sure to avoid this by speaking positively or at least neutrally about what was wrong and what you faced . This goes double if you decide to explain who or what was at fault for creating this problem.

Likewise, an essay describing amazing opportunities can quickly become an exercise in unpleasant bragging and self-centeredness. Make sure you stay grounded: Rather than dwelling at length on your accomplishments, describe the specifics of what you learned and how.

Elaborating on how you conducted microbiology research during the summer before your senior year would make an appropriate topic for question 4.

Dissecting Personal Insight Question 5

Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

Things to consider: A challenge could be personal, or something you have faced in your community or school. Why was the challenge significant to you? This is a good opportunity to talk about any obstacles you've faced and what you've learned from the experience. Did you have support from someone else or did you handle it alone?

If you're currently working your way through a challenge, what are you doing now, and does that affect different aspects of your life? For example, ask yourself, "How has my life changed at home, at my school, with my friends, or with my family?"

It's time to draw back the curtains and expand our field of vision because this is going to be a two-part story of overcoming adversity against all (or some) odds.

Part 1: Facing a Challenge

The first part of this essay is about problem-solving. The prompt asks you to relate something that could have derailed you if not for your strength and skill. Not only will you describe the challenge itself, but you'll also talk about what you did when faced with it.

Part 2: Looking in the Mirror

The second part of question 5 asks you to consider how this challenge has echoed through your life—and, more specifically, how what happened to you affected your education.

In life, dealing with setbacks, defeats, barriers, and conflicts is not a bug—it's a feature. And colleges want to make sure that you can handle these upsetting events without losing your overall sense of self, without being totally demoralized, and without getting completely overwhelmed. In other words, they are looking for someone who is mature enough to do well on a college campus, where disappointing results and hard challenges will be par for the course.

They are also looking for your creativity and problem-solving skills. Are you good at tackling something that needs to be fixed? Can you keep a cool head in a crisis? Do you look for solutions outside the box? These are all markers of a successful student, so it's not surprising that admissions staff want you to demonstrate these qualities.

The challenge you write about for question 5 need not be an educational barrier, which is better suited for question 4. Think broadly about the obstacles you've overcome and how they've shaped your perspective and self-confidence.

Let's explore the best ways to show off your problem-solving side.

Show Your Work

It's one thing to be able to say what's wrong, but it's another thing entirely to demonstrate how you figured out how to fix it. Even more than knowing that you were able to fix the problem, colleges want to see how you approached the situation . This is why your essay needs to explain your problem-solving methodology. Basically, they need to see you in action. What did you think would work? What did you think would not work? Did you compare this to other problems you have faced and pass? Did you do research? Describe your process.

Make Sure That You Are the Hero

This essay is supposed to demonstrate your resourcefulness and creativity . And make sure that you had to be the person responsible for overcoming the obstacle, not someone else. Your story must clarify that without you and your special brand of XYZ , people would still be lamenting the issue today. Don't worry if the resource you used to bring about a solution was the knowledge and know-how that somebody else brought to the table. Just focus on explaining what made you think of this person as the one to go to, how you convinced them to participate, and how you explained to them how they would be helpful. This will shift the attention of the story back to you and your efforts.

Find the Suspenseful Moment

The most exciting part of this essay should be watching you struggle to find a solution just in the nick of time. Think every movie cliché ever about someone defusing a bomb: Even if you know 100% that the hero is going to save the day, the movie still ratchets up the tension to make it seem like, Well, maybe... You want to do the same thing here. Bring excitement and a feeling of uncertainty to your description of your process to really pull the reader in and make them root for you to succeed.

You're the superhero!

Dissecting Personal Insight Question 6

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

Things to consider: Many students have a passion for one specific academic subject area, something that they just can't get enough of. If that applies to you, what have you done to further that interest? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had inside and outside the classroom — such as volunteer work, internships, employment, summer programs, participation in student organizations and/or clubs — and what you have gained from your involvement.

Has your interest in the subject influenced you in choosing a major and/or career? Have you been able to pursue coursework at a higher level in this subject (honors, AP, IB, college or university work)? Are you inspired to pursue this subject further at UC, and how might you do that?

This question is really asking for a glimpse of your imagined possibilities .

For some students, this will be an extremely straightforward question. For example, say you've always loved science to the point that you've spent every summer taking biology and chemistry classes. Pick a few of the most gripping moments from these experiences and discuss the overall trajectory of your interests, and your essay will be a winner.

But what if you have many academic interests? Or what if you discovered your academic passion only at the very end of high school? Let's break down what the question is really asking into two parts.

Part 1: Picking a Favorite

At first glance, it sounds as if what you should write about is the class in which you have gotten the best grades or the subject that easily fits into what you see as your future college major or maybe even your eventual career goal. There is nothing wrong with this kind of pick—especially if you really are someone who tends to excel in those classes that are right up your interest alley.

But if we look closer, we see that there is nothing in the prompt that specifically demands that you write either about a particular class or an area of study in which you perform well.

Instead, you could take the phrase "academic subject" to mean a wide field of study and explore your fascination with the different types of learning to be found there. For example, if your chosen topic is the field of literature, you could discuss your experiences with different genres or with foreign writers.

You could also write about a course or area of study that has significantly challenged you and in which you have not been as stellar a student as you want. This could be a way to focus on your personal growth as a result of struggling through a difficult class or to represent how you've learned to handle or overcome your limitations.

Part 2: Relevance

The second part of this prompt , like the first, can also be taken in a literal and direct way . There is absolutely nothing wrong with explaining that because you love engineering and want to be an engineer, you have pursued all your school's STEM courses, are also involved in a robotics club, and have taught yourself to code in order to develop apps.

However, you could focus on the more abstract, values-driven goals we just talked about instead. Then, your explanation of how your academics will help you can be rooted not in the content of what you studied but in the life lessons you drew from it.

In other words, for example, your theater class may not have stimulated your ambition to be an actor, but working on plays with your peers may have shown you how highly you value collaboration, or perhaps the experience of designing sets was an exercise in problem-solving and ingenuity. These lessons would be useful in any field you pursue and could easily be said to help you achieve your lifetime goals.

If you are on a direct path to a specific field of study or career pursuit, admissions officers definitely want to know that. Having driven, goal-oriented, and passionate students is a huge plus for a university. So if this is you, be sure that your essay conveys not just your interest but also your deep and abiding love of the subject. Maybe even include any related clubs, activities, and hobbies that you've done during high school.

Of course, college is the place to find yourself and the things that you become passionate about. So if you're not already committed to a specific course of study, don't worry. Instead, you have to realize that in this essay, like in all the other essays, the how matters much more than the what. No matter where your eventual academic, career, or other pursuits may lie, every class that you have taken up to now has taught you something. You learned about things like work ethic, mastering a skill, practice, learning from a teacher, interacting with peers, dealing with setbacks, understanding your own learning style, and perseverance.

In other words, the admissions office wants to make sure that no matter what you study, you will draw meaningful conclusions from your experiences, whether those conclusions are about the content of what you learn or about a deeper understanding of yourself and others. They want to see that you're not simply floating through life on the surface  but that you are absorbing the qualities, skills, and know-how you will need to succeed in the world—no matter what that success looks like.

Focus on a telling detail. Because personal statements are short, you simply won't have time to explain everything you have loved about a particular subject in enough detail to make it count. Instead, pick one event that crystallized your passion for a subject   or one telling moment that revealed what your working style will be , and go deep into a discussion of what it meant to you in the past and how it will affect your future.

Don't overreach. It's fine to say that you have loved your German classes so much that you have begun exploring both modern and classic German-language writers, for example, but it's a little too self-aggrandizing to claim that your four years of German have made you basically bilingual and ready to teach the language to others. Make sure that whatever class achievements you describe don't come off as unnecessary bragging rather than simple pride .

Similarly, don't underreach. Make sure that you have actual accomplishments to describe in whatever subject you pick to write about. If your favorite class turned out to be the one you mostly skipped to hang out in the gym instead, this may not be the place to share that lifetime goal. After all, you always have to remember your audience. In this case, it's college admissions officers who want to find students who are eager to learn and be exposed to new thoughts and ideas.

Dissecting Personal Insight Question 7

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

Things to consider: Think of community as a term that can encompass a group, team or a place— like your high school, hometown or home. You can define community as you see fit, just make sure you talk about your role in that community. Was there a problem that you wanted to fix in your community?

Why were you inspired to act? What did you learn from your effort? How did your actions benefit others, the wider community or both? Did you work alone or with others to initiate change in your community?

This topic is trying to get at how you engage with your environment. It's looking for several things:

#1: Your Sense of Place and Connection

Because the term "community" is so broad and ambiguous, this is a good essay for explaining where you feel a sense of belonging and rootedness. What or who constitutes your community? Is your connection to a place, to a group of people, or to an organization? What makes you identify as part of this community—cultural background, a sense of shared purpose, or some other quality?

#2: Your Empathy and Ability to Look at the Big Picture

Before you can solve a problem, you have to realize that the problem exists. Before you can make your community a better place, you have to find the things that can be ameliorated. No matter what your contribution ended up being, you first have to show how you saw where your skills, talent, intelligence, or hard work could do the most good. Did you put yourself in the shoes of the other people in your community? Understand some fundamental inner working of a system you could fix? Knowingly put yourself in the right place at the right time?

#3: Your Problem-Solving Skills

How did you make the difference in your community? If you resolved a tangible issue, how did you come up with your solution? Did you examine several options or act from the gut? If you made your community better in a less direct way, how did you know where to apply yourself and how to have the most impact possible?

Clarify not just what the problem and solution was but also your process of getting involved and contributing specific skills, ideas, or efforts that made a positive difference.

Community is a very important thing to colleges. You'll be involved with and encounter lots of different communities in college, including the broader student body, your extracurriculars, your classes, and the community outside the university. UC wants to make sure that you can engage with the communities around you in a positive, meaningful way .

Make it personal. Before you can explain what you did in your community, you have to define and describe this community itself—and you can only do that by focusing on what it means to you. Don't speak in generalities; instead, show the bonds between you and the group you are a part of through colorful, idiosyncratic language. Sure, they might be "my water polo team," but maybe they are more specifically "the 12 people who have seen me at my most exhausted and my most exhilarated."

Feel all the feelings. This is a chance to move your readers. As you delve deep into what makes your community one of your emotional centers, and then as you describe how you were able to improve it in a meaningful and lasting way, you should keep the roller coaster of feelings front and center. Own how you felt at each step of the process: when you found your community, when you saw that you could make a difference, and when you realized that your actions resulted in a change for the better. Did you feel unprepared for the task you undertook? Nervous to potentially let down those around you? Thrilled to get a chance to display a hidden or underused talent?

To flesh out your essay, depict the emotions you felt while making your community contribution, from frustration or disappointment to joy and fulfillment. 

Dissecting Personal Insight Question 8

Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

Things to consider: If there's anything you want us to know about you, but didn't find a question or place in the application to tell us, now's your chance. What have you not shared with us that will highlight a skill, talent, challenge or opportunity that you think will help us know you better?

From your point of view, what do you feel makes you an excellent choice for UC? Don't be afraid to brag a little.

If your particular experience doesn't quite fit under the rubrics of the other essay topics , or if there is something the admissions officers need to understand about your background in order to consider your application in the right context, then this is the essay for you.

Now, I'm going to say something a little counterintuitive here. The prompt for this essay clarifies that even if you don't have a "unique" story to tell, you should still feel free to pick this topic. But, honestly, I think you should  choose this topic only if you have an exceptional experience to share . Remember that E veryday challenges or successes of regular life could easily fit one of the other insight questions instead.

What this means is that evaluating whether your experiences qualify for this essay is a matter of degrees. For example, did you manage to thrive academically despite being raised by a hard-working single parent? That's a hardship that could easily be written about for Questions 1 or 5, depending on how you choose to frame what happened. Did you manage to earn a 3.7 GPA despite living in a succession of foster families only to age out of the system in the middle of your senior year of high school? That's a narrative of overcoming hardship that easily belongs to Question 8.

On the flip side, did you win a state-wide robotics competition? Well done, and feel free to tell your story under Question 4. Were you the youngest person to single-handedly win a season of BattleBots? Then feel free to write about it for Question 8.

This is pretty straightforward. They are trying to identify students that have unique and amazing stories to tell about who they are and where they come from. If you're a student like this, then the admissions people want to know the following:

• What happened to you?
• When and where did it happen?
• How did you participate, or how were you involved in the situation?
• How did it affect you as a person?
• How did it affect your schoolwork?
• How will the experience be reflected in the point of view you bring to campus?

The university wants this information because of the following:

• It gives context to applications that otherwise might seem mediocre or even subpar.
• It can help explain places in a transcript where grades significantly drop.
• It gives them the opportunity to build a lot of diversity into the incoming class.
• It's a way of finding unique talents and abilities that otherwise wouldn't show up on other application materials.

Let's run through a few tricks for making sure your essay makes the most of your particular distinctiveness.

Double-Check Your Uniqueness

Many experiences in our lives that make us feel elated, accomplished, and extremely competent are also near universal. This essay isn't trying to take the validity of your strong feelings away from you, but it would be best served by stories that are on a different scale . Wondering whether what you went through counts? This might be a good time to run your idea by a parent, school counselor, or trusted teacher. Do they think your experience is widespread? Or do they agree that you truly lived a life less ordinary?

Connect Outward

The vast majority of your answer to the prompt should be telling your story and its impact on you and your life. But the essay should also point toward how your particular experiences set you apart from your peers. One of the reasons that the admissions office wants to find out which of the applicants has been through something unlike most other people is that they are hoping to increase the number of points of view in the student body. Think about—and include in your essay—how you will impact campus life. This can be very literal: If you are a jazz singer who has released several songs on social media, then maybe you will perform on campus. Or it can be much more oblique: If you have a disability, then you will be able to offer a perspective that differs from the able-bodied majority.

Be Direct, Specific, and Honest

Nothing will make your voice sound more appealing than writing without embellishment or verbal flourishes. This is the one case in which  how you're telling the story is just as—if not more—important than what you're telling . So the best strategy is to be as straightforward in your writing as possible. This means using description to situate your reader in a place, time, or experience that they would never get to see firsthand. You can do this by picking a specific moment during your accomplishment to narrate as a small short story and not shying away from explaining your emotions throughout the experience. Your goal is to make the extraordinary into something at least somewhat relatable, and the way you do that is by bringing your writing down to earth.

Your essays should feature relatable thoughts and emotions as well as insights into how you will contribute to the campus community.

Writing Advice for Making Your UC Personal Statements Shine

No matter what personal insight questions you end up choosing to write about, here are two tips for making your writing sparkle:

#1: Be Detailed and Descriptive

Have you ever heard the expression "show; don't tell"? It's usually given as creative writing advice, and it will be your best friend when you're writing college essays. It means that any time you want to describe a person or thing as having a particular quality, it's better to illustrate with an example than to just use vague adjectives . If you stick to giving examples that paint a picture, your focus will also become narrower and more specific. You'll end up concentrating on details and concrete events rather than not-particularly-telling generalizations.

Let's say, for instance, Adnan is writing about the house that he's been helping his dad fix up. Which of these do you think gives the reader a better sense of place?

My family bought an old house that was kind of run-down. My dad likes fixing it up on the weekends, and I like helping him. Now the house is much nicer than when we bought it, and I can see all our hard work when I look at it.

My dad grinned when he saw my shocked face. Our "new" house looked like a completely run-down shed: peeling paint, rust-covered railings, shutters that looked like the crooked teeth of a jack-o-lantern. I was still staring at the spider-web crack in one broken window when my dad handed me a pair of brand-new work gloves and a paint scraper. "Today, let's just do what we can with the front wall," he said. And then I smiled too, knowing that many of my weekends would be spent here with him, working side by side.

Both versions of this story focus on the house being dilapidated and how Adnan enjoyed helping his dad do repairs. But the second does this by:

painting a picture of what the house actually looked like by adding visual details ("peeling paint," "rust-covered railings," and "broken window") and through comparisons ("shutters like a jack-o-lantern" and "spider-web crack");

showing emotions by describing facial expressions ("my dad grinned," "my shocked face," and "I smiled"); and

using specific and descriptive action verbs ("grinned," "shocked," "staring," and "handed").

The essay would probably go on to describe one day of working with his dad or a time when a repair went horribly awry. Adnan would make sure to keep adding sensory details (what things looked, sounded, smelled, tasted, and felt like), using active verbs, and illustrating feelings with dialogue and facial expressions.

If you're having trouble checking whether your description is detailed enough, read your work to someone else . Then, ask that person to describe the scene back to you. Are they able to conjure up a picture from your words? If not, you need to beef up your details.

It's a bit of a fixer-upper, but it'll make a great college essay!

#2: Show Your Feelings

All good personal essays deal with emotions. And what marks great personal essays is the author's willingness to really dig into negative feelings as well as positive ones . As you write your UC application essays, keep asking yourself questions and probing your memory. How did you feel before it happened? How did you expect to feel after, and how did you actually feel after? How did the world that you are describing feel about what happened? How do you know how your world felt?

Then write about your feelings using mostly emotion words ("I was thrilled/disappointed/proud/scared"), some comparisons ("I felt like I'd never run again/like I'd just bitten into a sour apple/like the world's greatest explorer"), and a few bits of direct speech ("'How are we going to get away with this?' my brother asked").

What's Next?

This should give you a great starting point to address the UC essay prompts and consider how you'll write your own effective UC personal statements. The hard part starts here: work hard, brainstorm broadly, and use all my suggestions above to craft a great UC application essay.

Making your way through college applications? We have advice on how to find the right college for you , how to write about your extracurricular activities , and how to ask teachers for recommendations .

Interested in taking the SAT one more time? Check out our highly detailed explainer on studying for the SAT to learn how to prepare best.

Worried about how to pay for college after you get in? Read our description of how much college really costs , our comparison of subsidized and unsubsidized loans , and our lists of the top scholarships for high school seniors and juniors .

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

Student and Parent Forum

Our new student and parent forum, at ExpertHub.PrepScholar.com , allow you to interact with your peers and the PrepScholar staff. See how other students and parents are navigating high school, college, and the college admissions process. Ask questions; get answers.

Ask a Question Below

Have any questions about this article or other topics? Ask below and we'll reply!

Improve With Our Famous Guides

• For All Students

The 5 Strategies You Must Be Using to Improve 160+ SAT Points

How to Get a Perfect 1600, by a Perfect Scorer

Series: How to Get 800 on Each SAT Section:

Score 800 on SAT Math

Score 800 on SAT Reading

Score 800 on SAT Writing

Series: How to Get to 600 on Each SAT Section:

Score 600 on SAT Math

Score 600 on SAT Reading

Score 600 on SAT Writing

Free Complete Official SAT Practice Tests

What SAT Target Score Should You Be Aiming For?

15 Strategies to Improve Your SAT Essay

The 5 Strategies You Must Be Using to Improve 4+ ACT Points

How to Get a Perfect 36 ACT, by a Perfect Scorer

Series: How to Get 36 on Each ACT Section:

36 on ACT English

36 on ACT Math

36 on ACT Reading

36 on ACT Science

Series: How to Get to 24 on Each ACT Section:

24 on ACT English

24 on ACT Math

24 on ACT Reading

24 on ACT Science

What ACT target score should you be aiming for?

ACT Vocabulary You Must Know

ACT Writing: 15 Tips to Raise Your Essay Score

How to Get Into Harvard and the Ivy League

How to Get a Perfect 4.0 GPA

How to Write an Amazing College Essay

What Exactly Are Colleges Looking For?

Is the ACT easier than the SAT? A Comprehensive Guide

Should you retake your SAT or ACT?

When should you take the SAT or ACT?

Stay Informed

Get the latest articles and test prep tips!

Looking for Graduate School Test Prep?

Check out our top-rated graduate blogs here:

GRE Online Prep Blog

GMAT Online Prep Blog

TOEFL Online Prep Blog

Holly R. "I am absolutely overjoyed and cannot thank you enough for helping me!”

The Ultimate Guide to UC Essays

The recording will load in a moment., about this livestream.

Learn how to write stand-out UC Essays in this interactive stream with CollegeVine co-founder Vinay Bhaskara!

Vinay will go over The University of California prompts and share advice on how to approach and tackle them with ease.

This session will be followed by a Q&A, so drop your questions in the chat and don't miss this opportunity to hear directly from Vinay!

Vinay Bhaskara

Other recordings by vinay bhaskara.

Parents Series: What parents need to know about college admissions in 2022

Elite Admissions Series: How to get into an Ivy League college

Counselors Series: The Ultimate Guide to Test-Optional Admissions

Tips for Getting into Harvard from a Harvard Graduate

Popular recent recordings

Make the Most of Your Summer Break with the NSLC!

Making the Most of your Summer with Matriculate

Physics Preparation for PreMedical, PreDental, and PreHealth College Students

I transferred to Harvard and how you can too

Waitlisted? No Brags. No Updates. Learn About Ivy Coach's Letter of Continued Interest

The Ivy Coach Daily

• College Admissions
• College Essays
• Early Decision / Early Action
• Extracurricular Activities
• Standardized Testing
• The Rankings

September 12, 2023

2023-2024 University of California Essay Prompts: Berkeley, UCLA, and UCSD

The University of California schools have released their 2023-2024 essay prompts for applicants to the Class of 2024. Unlike most highly selective universities, the UC schools are not members of The Common Application — the school has its own application .

Just like in previous years, applicants to the University of California, Berkeley , the University of California, Los Angeles , the University of California, San Diego , and the seven other UC institutions must answer four essay prompts out of a batch of eight options. So, what are this year’s essay prompts? Let’s dive in!

2023-2024 UC Essay Topics and Questions: Personal Insights

Below are the UC essay prompts for applicants to the Class of 2028, along with the guidance issued by the UC admissions committee. These essays apply to all UC schools — including the University of California, Berkeley, the University of California, Los Angeles, the University of California, San Diego, the University of California, Santa Barbara , the University of California, Davis , the University of California, Santa Cruz , the University of California, Irvine , the University of California, Merced , and the the University of California, Riverside .

Applicants have up to 350 words to respond to  four  of the  eight  prompts. And, yes, applicants should go to the maximum word count to make their case!

1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.

Things to consider:  A leadership role can mean more than just a title. It can mean being a mentor to others, acting as the person in charge of a specific task, or taking the lead role in organizing an event or project. Think about what you accomplished and what you learned from the experience. What were your responsibilities?

Did you lead a team? How did your experience change your perspective on leading others? Did you help to resolve an important dispute at your school, church, in your community or an organization? And your leadership role doesn’t necessarily have to be limited to school activities. For example, do you help out or take care of your family?

Applicants should share one small story here to demonstrate their leadership. Rather than tell the UC admissions committee about what great leaders they are, they can show it through one specific example. And it doesn’t even need to be a successful example of leadership. Instead, students can highlight what they learned from the scenario to be even better leaders.

2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

Things to consider:  What does creativity mean to you? Do you have a creative skill that is important to you? What have you been able to do with that skill? If you used creativity to solve a problem, what was your solution? What are the steps you took to solve the problem?

How does your creativity influence your decisions inside or outside the classroom? Does your creativity relate to your major or a future career?

Even in an essay that could lend itself to silliness, applicants must showcase intellectual curiosity. So, suppose a student expresses their creative side by tie-dying t-shirts and their singular hook in their activities section that they’ll be contributing to schools like UC Berkeley, UCLA, and UCSD is math. In that case, they can write about the mathematics behind the patterns they love to create on clothing.

3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

Things to consider:  If there is a talent or skill that you’re proud of, this is the time to share it. You don’t necessarily have to be recognized or have received awards for your talent (although if you did and you want to talk about it, feel free to do so). Why is this talent or skill meaningful to you?

Does the talent come naturally or have you worked hard to develop this skill or talent? Does your talent or skill allow you opportunities in or outside the classroom? If so, what are they and how do they fit into your schedule?

Too many students choose to write about awards and honors they’ve received in this prompt. Some sneak it into the essay, thinking it’s a subtle way of reinforcing their success. What a mistake! Doing so will only render them unlikable, which should be the precise opposite of their objective.

Ideally, an applicant will share a skill related to their singular hook. If their hook is poetry, let’s hear all about how they became passionate about performing spoken word at open mic nights at a local establishment.

4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

Things to consider:  An educational opportunity can be anything that has added value to your educational experience and better prepared you for college. For example, participation in an honors or academic enrichment program, or enrollment in an academy that’s geared toward an occupation or a major, or taking advanced courses that interest you; just to name a few.

If you choose to write about educational barriers you’ve faced, how did you overcome or strive to overcome them? What personal characteristics or skills did you call on to overcome this challenge? How did overcoming this barrier help shape who you are today?

If students have yet to face a genuine academic barrier, such as the ones many students in low-income communities face, it would behoove them to focus on the significant educational  opportunity  they’ve encountered. Was it the chance to perform research on Russian literature with a local professor? Was it a chance to do an archaeological dig in a student’s hometown? The opportunity will ideally fit with the student’s singular hook.

5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

Things to consider:  A challenge could be personal, or something you have faced in your community or school. Why was the challenge significant to you? This is a good opportunity to talk about any obstacles you’ve faced and what you’ve learned from the experience. Did you have support from someone else or did you handle it alone?

If you’re currently working your way through a challenge, what are you doing now, and does that affect different aspects of your life? For example, ask yourself, How has my life changed at home, at my school, with my friends or with my family?

Unless a student comes from an underprivileged background, we at Ivy Coach would encourage them to avoid choosing this essay prompt since there  are  going to be students who have faced significant obstacles and writing about how a school ran out of math courses while another student writes about the evictions their family has endured isn’t going to sit well with UC Berkeley, UCLA, UCSD, and other UC admissions officers.

6. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

Things to consider:  Many students have a passion for one specific academic subject area, something that they just can’t get enough of. If that applies to you, what have you done to further that interest? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had inside and outside the classroom such as volunteer work, internships, employment, summer programs, participation in student organizations and/or clubs and what you have gained from your involvement.

Has your interest in the subject influenced you in choosing a major and/or future career? Have you been able to pursue coursework at a higher level in this subject (honors, AP, IB, college or university work)? Are you inspired to pursue this subject further at UC, and how might you do that?

Ideally, a student will choose an academic subject that aligns perfectly with their hook. If their activities reflect a passion for physics, they should share the origin story of their interest in the discipline — as a high schooler rather than a child. What made them fall in love with matter and energy? What made them want to better understand our universe?

7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

Things to consider:  Think of community as a term that can encompass a group, team or a place like your high school, hometown or home. You can define community as you see fit, just make sure you talk about your role in that community. Was there a problem that you wanted to fix in your community?

Why were you inspired to act? What did you learn from your effort? How did your actions benefit others, the wider community or both? Did you work alone or with others to initiate change in your community?

An applicant’s answer should align with their hook as articulated in their activities section. Suppose a student’s hook is political science. In that case, they should write an essay that shares one small story about how their political activism created the change they wished to see — or failed to create the change they hoped to see, only further motivating them to agitate for further change.

Maybe they wanted to stop developers from razing affordable housing communities. Perhaps they tried to fix un-level sidewalks. Whatever it is, applicants should share an anecdote here about their activism — whether successful or not.

8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

Things to consider:  If there’s anything you want us to know about you but didn’t find a question or place in the application to tell us, now’s your chance. What have you not shared with us that will highlight a skill, talent, challenge or opportunity that you think will help us know you better?

From your point of view, what do you feel makes you an excellent choice for UC? Don’t be afraid to brag a little.

Since the University of California has a unique application and is not a member of The Common Application, this essay prompt presents a perfect opportunity for applicants to include an abbreviated version of their 650-word Personal Statements from their Common Applications.

Ivy Coach’s Assistance with the University of California Essays

If you’re interested in optimizing your chances of admission to UC Berkeley, UCLA, UCSD, and other UC institutions by submitting the most compelling essays possible, fill out Ivy Coach ‘s free consultation form , and we’ll be in touch to delineate our college counseling services for applicants to the Class of 2028.

You are permitted to use www.ivycoach.com (including the content of the Blog) for your personal, non-commercial use only. You must not copy, download, print, or otherwise distribute the content on our site without the prior written consent of Ivy Coach, Inc.

Related Articles

Using A.I. to Write College Admission Essays

October 13, 2023

Word and Character Limits in College Essays

September 27, 2023

What English Teachers Get Wrong About Writing College Essays

Bragging in College Essays: Is It Ever Okay?

September 26, 2023

What Not to Write: 3 College Essay Topics to Avoid

September 24, 2023

2023-2024 Caltech Supplemental Essay Prompts

September 14, 2023

TOWARD THE CONQUEST OF ADMISSION

If you’re interested in Ivy Coach’s college counseling,
fill out our complimentary consultation form and we’ll be in touch.

Fill out our short form for a 20-minute consultation to learn about Ivy Coach’s services.

• Phone: (617) 993-4823

• November 11, 2021

How To Write The University of California Essays (2021-2022)

Welcome to the 2021-2022 essay prompts for the University of California system! Here’s everything you need to know to write the best UC essays possible before the November 30th deadline.

These schools are some of the most popular in the country and admitted just over 132,353 prospective freshmen — including out-of-state and international students — last year out of a record-breakingly large applicant pool. Whether you’re a California resident or not, you’ll need to stand out amongst the crowd in your answers to these questions.

You can refer to the University of California admissions website if you want to see how exactly they’re presenting their essay prompts, also known as “Personal Insight Questions,” for this year. The UC school system has its own application, and all nine schools — UC Berkeley, UCLA, UC San Diego, UC Santa Barbara, UC Irvine, UC Davis, UC Santa Cruz, UC Riverside, UC Merced — accept the same application with the same essay questions.

You’ll need to respond to 4 of the 8 questions listed below, in essays of 250-350 words. This is a pretty big writing assignment, and you have a lot of freedom in which topics you choose, so spend some time brainstorming.

1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes , or contributed to group efforts over time.

Let me say right off the bat that this isn’t a great question. Even if you’ve demonstrated incredible leadership, The University of California has better essay prompts for you, so you’re welcome to read on, or skip ahead to the next question.

OK. This appears to be a good question for student-entrepreneurs—kids who’ve created impactful projects. As always, however, you need to make sure you’re going beyond your activities list—don’t just tell us about a project you’ve listed elsewhere on your application. The UC schools don’t accept the Common App, but they have a place on their application where they ask you to describe your “activities and awards.”

Think very small here, and focus on specific examples of leadership. Remember: essays are stories. This is your chance to tell a good one about a specific time you took the reins. All this being said, if the strongest leadership story you can muster is about helping a fellow student with his or her homework one time, you should probably choose another prompt — unless somehow it’s a really great story.

The hard thing about questions like this, as always, is resisting the temptation to brag, and finding a way to tell your story without sounding like you’re making yourself out to be a hero. Don’t sensationalize or exaggerate your accomplishments. Be matter-of-fact when talking about your achievements. Focus on a specific anecdote. Give us a clear sense of why a specific leadership experience mattered to you.

2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem-solving , original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

Remember how I said there were better questions about leadership? Here’s one. Rather than tell the story about a time you were a leader-hero, why not answer this one? Frame your accomplishments in terms of your creativity, rather than in terms of your leadership. If you’ve started a business, non-profit, or club, it’s on your activities list and we know that you are “a leader” (at least on paper). But are you creative ? How did you come up with your idea? How did you make it happen?

This response doesn’t have to be about leadership, of course. It doesn’t need to be about problem-solving, and it doesn’t need to relate to your future major. Try not to write a boring, formulaic essay in response to this prompt, since it’s a little disappointing to read an essay about creativity that isn’t creative.

3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

Again, don’t repeat what’s on your activities and awards list. Definitely don’t talk about your awards. They appear elsewhere, and how would you feel if someone you just met started talking about his or her gold medals and trophies? It doesn’t make you look well-adjusted.

It’s tough to talk about your skills without sounding braggy. “How has your talent or skill helped you in or outside the classroom?” Are they serious? I just can’t imagine how answering this question would make anyone look confident and mature.

The only effective response to this prompt would be about mundane or even downright pointless skills. Pomona, when it asks about talents, specifies that you are welcome to discuss “useless skills.” You’re welcome to do so for the UC schools as well. Don’t be flippant; make sure you have something meaningful to say about your mundane or useless skill. For example, I have a friend who can list in chronological order just about every hit rock, soul, and pop album released between 1964 and 1982. This ability has no practical application in his professional life as far as I can tell, but it says a great deal about who he is and how his mind works. And it’s a far more endearing detail than any of the awards and accolades he’s received in life.

4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

This is one of those questions where, for some, not answering is the best way to demonstrate self-awareness and maturity.

You’re being asked to talk about educational opportunities and barriers. Before you answer this question, ask yourself: have you received noteworthy educational opportunities and/or faced barriers to pursuing your education? If you got a big-deal scholarship or got into a charter school after taking an IQ test or something, there may be a story there. (Although, “I have a high IQ” isn’t a great story.) If you spent your junior year caring for a sick parent or grandparent or suffered a physical or mental health issue yourself, that’s definitely a barrier to education.

But, on the other hand, if the opportunities you’ve had in terms of education have to do with your parents’ ability to pay for a fancy school, choose a different question. If, for you, “barriers to education” means commuting forty-five minutes to school, or something like that, again, there are plenty of other questions to answer. Self-awareness is at the top of the list of qualities that schools like Berkeley, UCLA, and the other UC schools are looking for in their applicants. Make sure you’re in touch with the opportunities you’ve been given, and the impediments you’ve faced.

5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

See my comments on the previous question. If you’ve faced some real challenges, and if you have enough distance from them to write with perspective (and to feel comfortable writing about them, of course), this may be a question for you. But think long and hard about the challenges you’ve encountered. If they aren’t very serious in the big scheme of things, don’t try to exaggerate them, and to convince your readers you had a hard time.

This is a tempting question to answer if you want to explain a low grade, for example. Let’s say you got a C+ in ninth grade English. Be careful: the question wants to know about “the most significant challenge you faced”: so if you got that C+ because your cat died the day before the final exam, or because your teacher was a jerk, don’t write about it. Everybody has teachers they don’t like and all pets die at some point. (Sorry to be grim.) These are not life’s greatest challenges.

As with “talents” questions, “challenges” questions sometimes put applicants in a tricky situation. Make sure it doesn’t sound like you’re blaming others unfairly or complaining.

If you have an entertaining story about a challenge, which says a lot about who you are, but which isn’t a serious example of hardship, you can absolutely write about it. But use humor and be self-aware. In other words, make it clear that you are cognizant of the fact that your inability to parallel park, apply makeup properly, or beat your little brother in Fortnite doesn’t constitute a “real” challenge.

6. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

If you’re a nice “pointy” student, here’s your chance to talk about how all your intellectual activities over the past three years have served to further your passion for… fill in the blank (architecture, art history, astrophysics). Presumably, if you’re this kind of kid, you plan on majoring in an academic field related to what you’re writing about, so discuss your choice of major as well, and say what you plan on doing at the UC school(s) you’re applying to.

You can also answer this question by talking about an academic subject you have no intention of majoring in, provided that it’s interesting, and that you can clearly point to your experience with the subject. If you plan on majoring in history, but you had a really good bio teacher freshman year, that probably isn’t enough of a reason to talk about biology.

Maybe you plan on majoring in psychology at The University of California, but what you really want to do later in life is art therapy, and you’ve gained some experience in the subject, and have a real, demonstrable passion for art generally (you were in the art club, or you exhibited your work somewhere, or you did something else that is at least mildly remarkable with art). Talk about art.

7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

I know I keep saying this, but beware of sounding braggy. Make sure you’re demonstrating self-awareness.

I keep saying these things because there are a good number of high schoolers out there who are effectuating real, significant societal change, and who are fighting in extremely ambitious ways to make their communities and even their country a better place. Keep kids like them in mind as you evaluate your own accomplishments in your community. I know this is intimidating — but remembering them will help you maintain perspective as you write.

Here’s a bad example of “making one’s community a better place” — the kind of thing you should not write about. When I was in high school, I was elected student body president, and I succeeded in getting our “student room” equipped with an electric kettle (for tea, ramen noodles, what have you). My fellow students were pretty psyched. But let me tell you: describing this kind of accomplishment would be a pretty pathetic response to the question that’s being asked here. In the big scheme of things, ramen noodles rank pretty low.

8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

Great question! Take the following phrase very seriously: “Beyond what has already been shared in your application.” Don’t talk about anything on your activities and awards list.

I know it’s tempting to write about your greatest achievements, but they’re already on your application. This is a great opportunity to talk about something new and different, in order to help your admissions committee get to know the real you a little better.

Think small and personal for this one. This is your chance to talk about that hobby of yours that doesn’t have any direct relation to your academic and professional future, or one of your personal quirks that maybe doesn’t matter much in the big scheme of things, but says a lot about who you are.

The way the question is phrased makes it sound like you need to show off here (“what do you believe makes you stand out”). Don’t give in to the temptation to brag. Or, if you do, brag about a useless personal talent, or make the bold claim that what makes you stand out as an applicant is that you’ve read every Stephen King novel ever written, or that you can do a near-perfect Elvis Costello impression. Think: humor and self-awareness.

As always, our Ivy League college consultants are here to help. Don’t hesitate to reach out .

• College Applications , Supplemental Essays , The College Essay

How Your Extracurricular Activities Can Boost Your College Application

The Best Internship Opportunities for High School Students

Weighted vs. Unweighted GPA: What’s the Difference?

• Partnerships
• Our Insights
• Our Approach

Our Services

• High School Roadmaps
• College Applications
• Graduate School Admissions
• H&C Incubator
• [email protected]

Terms and Conditions . Privacy policy

©2024 H&C Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Tips on UC Application Essay Prompts (Part I)

The University of California has 9 campuses that offer undergraduate admissions. For those who plan to apply to any of the 9 schools, you would only need to fill out the UC Application once and check the corresponding campus boxes at the end. Recently, UC has changed its essay prompts, now asking applicants to submit four 350-word essays as opposed to its previous two (1000 words total). Let’s dive into these prompts and look at the crucial points you must touch on and elaborate before submitting your final draft.

The UC Essay Prompts

1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.  

Keywords : “an” leadership experience; influenced others; group efforts; over time

Approach : An means one. One leadership experience is enough so don’t throw in every role you’ve held throughout high school. Plus, the point here is to tell us how you influenced others and turn your contribution into group efforts. Don’t tell us you’re a responsible treasurer of Model UN, but let us know what exactly have you done to make your organization better. Also notice how it says “over time,” so tell us your journey rather than a handful of events.

2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.   Keywords: creative; “how” you express

Approach : When it comes to describing you creative side, make sure you provide concrete evidence or examples or your essay would become very dull. Even in the prompt it mentions “how” you express it, meaning you must include specific events. Say your creative side is best expressed in music, then don’t just say that—explain! What instrument(s) do you play? Do you compose your own materials? Do you perform every song differently? How do you make familiar pieces into something different and fascinating? Focus on the “how” and use concrete evidence.

3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?  

Keywords : talent/skill; developed; demonstrated; over time

Approach : First define whether it’s a talent or a skill, and then go on to talk about development. Like Prompt 1, the readers are interested in how you developed this talent/skill over a period of time, so do not focus on one particular instance or event. Who introduced it to you? What was the process like? How did you develop/demonstrate it before compared to now? You may want to include some achievements but avoid bragging! We want to hear the progress you make along the way, so tell a compelling story.

4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

Keywords : education opportunity/education barrier

Approach : Whichever you end up talking about, be sure to address why it’s education-related. Keep in mind that education is not just learning in classrooms or finishing projects for a class, but rather anything related to knowledge, learning, and curiosity. Was it you learning something from a teacher or mentor? Or was it you teaching to a group of students as an instructor? What were the obstacles you had to overcome? What was the most challenging part throughout this experience? The most stressful encounter? Be sure to explain the details to your readers.

(To be continued)

Related Posts

• Tips on UC Application Essay Prompts (Part II)

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Notify me of follow-up comments by email.

Notify me of new posts by email.

This is the first article in a new series where we will be dissecting each of the UC essay prompts in depth, providing examples and tips on how you can make your application stand out.

For many years now, the University of California school system has attracted a record-breaking number of talented applicants from all over California and the rest of the world. Just last year, UCLA took home the title of being the most applied-to university in the entire world, with over 100,000 students seeking admission. Yet in 2018, their acceptance rate hovered at a mere 14%, making UCLA and other UC schools just as competitive as many historic Ivy League universities.

With these statistics and a relatively early application deadline, the pressure is on for UC hopefuls. It’s time to start thinking about those essays, but we know that’s easier said than done. In today’s article, we’ll break down some overall facts about the essays and provide general tips for how to approach the entire application.

UC Essay Prompt Structure

There are 9 total campuses under the University of California school system, but there is only 1 application portal for all of them. In other words, you are submitting the same essays to every UC you decide to apply to.

In other words, you are submitting the same essays to every UC you decide to apply to. The benefits of this structure are that you’ll be saving a lot of time by only having to write a single set of essays that could be sent to up to 9 different schools. However, this means you cannot tailor your essays to any specific campus. So if you are applying to multiple UCs, you won’t be able to write much about how much you love UC Berkeley’s computer science department in your essays.

Struggling with writing your college application essay?

Read our Ultimate Guide to Stand Out College Essays to learn the tips and techniques on writing a winning essay and maximize your college admission chances!  

Which Prompts Should You Answer?

The UCs give you 8 different essay prompts to choose from that all have a maximum word count of 350 words. In the following days, we’ll be dissecting each one in depth by providing ideas, templates, and examples to work with. But out of the 8 prompts, you only need to choose 4! How do you decide which ones to answer?

Everyone has a slightly different strategy, but the first piece of advice I can give is to listen to your instincts. On your first glance of all the prompts, which ones did you immediately have ideas for and which ones just caused you to draw a blank? When ideas seem to flow easily without much effort, it’s likely a good sign that you should write that prompt.

Another tip is that you should choose a variety of different prompts that can allows you to showcase as many aspects of yourself as possible. As you’ll see later on in this series, several of the prompts ask about your educational interests. Unless you have remarkably different educational interests that could answer the prompts differently, I would try answering only one of them. In general, each of your essays should reveal a new layer to you that couldn’t have been found in a different essay.

Discover the 8 UC essay prompts below. Simply click on the prompts to delve deeper and learn more.

Writing UC Prompt 1 Tips: Leadership Experience Essay   Writing UC Prompt 2 Tips: Your Creative Side Essay Writing UC Prompt 3 Tips: Greatest Talent Essay Writing UC Prompt 4 Tips: Educational Experiences Essay Writing UC Prompt 5 Tips: Significant Challenge Essay Writing UC Prompt 6 Tips: Favorite Subject Essay Writing UC Prompt 7 Tips: Improving Your Community Essay Writing UC Prompt 8 Tips: How Do You Stand Out Essay

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

8 Strong Ivy League Essay Examples

What’s covered:.

• Essay 1: Princeton
• Essay 2: Cornell
• Essay 3: Yale
• Essay 4: Brown
• Essay 5: UPenn
• Essay 6: Dartmouth
• Essay 7: Columbia
• Essay 8: Harvard
• Where to Get Your Essay Edited for Free

The Ivy League consists of eight private institutions on the East Coast, known for having extremely competitive admissions rates. The following schools are in the Ivy League: Princeton, Harvard, Yale, Columbia, UPenn, Cornell, Brown, and Dartmouth.

These schools all have their own supplemental essays, ranging from typical topics like “ Why This College? ” to more unique topics that change from year to year. Because the Ivies are some of the most competitive schools in the country, your essays are crucial for you to showcase aspects of yourself that might not be apparent from other parts of your application. 

In this post, we’ll provide a strong essay example for each Ivy and explain what each did well and where they could be improved. Read on to learn more about how to craft a compelling narrative!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Essay #1: Princeton

Prompt: Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a starting point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation, title and author at the beginning of your essay. (250-650 words)

“One of the great challenges of our time is that the disparities we face today have more complex causes and point less straightforwardly to solutions.” 

– Omar Wasow, assistant professor of politics, Princeton University. This quote is taken from Professor Wasow’s January 2014 speech at the Martin Luther King Day celebration at Princeton University . 

The air is crisp and cool, nipping at my ears as I walk under a curtain of darkness that drapes over the sky, starless. It is a Friday night in downtown Corpus Christi, a rare moment of peace in my home city filled with the laughter of strangers and colorful lights of street vendors. But I cannot focus. 

My feet stride quickly down the sidewalk, my hand grasps on to the pepper spray my parents gifted me for my sixteenth birthday. My eyes ignore the surrounding city life, focusing instead on a pair of tall figures walking in my direction. I mentally ask myself if they turned with me on the last street corner. I do not remember, so I pick up the pace again. All the while, my mind runs over stories of young women being assaulted, kidnapped, and raped on the street. I remember my mother’s voice reminding me to keep my chin up, back straight, eyes and ears alert. 

At a young age, I learned that harassment is a part of daily life for women. I fell victim to period-shaming when I was thirteen, received my first catcall when I was fourteen, and was nonconsensually grabbed by a man soliciting on the street when I was fifteen. For women, assault does not just happen to us— its gory details leave an imprint in our lives, infecting the way we perceive the world. And while movements such as the Women’s March and #MeToo have given victims of sexual violence a voice, harassment still manifests itself in the lives of millions of women across the nation. Symbolic gestures are important in spreading awareness but, upon learning that a surprising number of men are oblivious to the frequent harassment that women experience, I now realize that addressing this complex issue requires a deeper level of activism within our local communities. 

Frustrated with incessant cases of harassment against women, I understood at sixteen years old that change necessitates action. During my junior year, I became an intern with a judge whose campaign for office focused on a need for domestic violence reform. This experience enabled me to engage in constructive dialogue with middle and high school students on how to prevent domestic violence. As I listened to young men uneasily admit their ignorance and young women bravely share their experiences in an effort to spread awareness, I learned that breaking down systems of inequity requires changing an entire culture. I once believed that the problem of harassment would dissipate after politicians and celebrities denounce inappropriate behavior to their global audience. But today, I see that effecting large-scale change comes from the “small” lessons we teach at home and in schools. Concerning women’s empowerment, the effects of Hollywood activism do not trickle down enough. Activism must also trickle up and it depends on our willingness to fight complacency. 

Finding the solution to the long-lasting problem of violence against women is a work-in-progress, but it is a process that is persistently moving. In my life, for every uncomfortable conversation that I bridge, I make the world a bit more sensitive to the unspoken struggle that it is to be a woman. I am no longer passively waiting for others to let me live in a world where I can stand alone under the expanse of darkness on a city street, utterly alone and at peace. I, too, deserve the night sky.

What the Essay Did Well

There are many positives to this essay. To begin with, launching into the essay with multi sensory imagery in the anecdote was really effective at drawing the reader in. The audiovisual context (laughter, street vendors) keeps the scene alive and fully immerses the reader, while the internal narration illustrates how this student looks at the world. The contrast between the imagery of the external scene and the internal thoughts and feelings fully immerses the reader in the essay and alludes to the overarching theme of things being more complicated than they seem on the outside.

Another good thing this essay did was provide a personal account of this student’s experiences with harassment. This established their authority to speak on the topic and underscores their essay with authenticity.  They then “zoom out” to provide relevant background information that supplies additional context for readers who might not be that familiar with the extent of the issue at hand. By relating their personal stories to the large-scale issue at hand, they simultaneously develop a personal connection while demonstrating an understanding of a serious global issue.

What really could’ve made or broken this essay was the quote the student chose. Allowing you to choose any quote, this is an extremely open-ended prompt which gives students the opportunity to write about whatever they choose. This student did an excellent job of picking a quote that isn’t well-known or significant, but fit perfectly into the narrative they were trying to express in this essay. The approach the student likely took with this prompt is figuring out what experience they wanted to discuss and finding a quote that fit, rather than picking a quote first. This approach made for an essay that existed independently from the quote and didn’t rely on it as a crutch.

All together, the essay feels cohesive with every part relating back to the overarching theme of diving deeper than the surface level of things. The student’s vulnerability and personal reflection throughout the essay helps carry the theme through each paragraph. Even the conclusion does a great job of circling back to the anecdote at the beginning, bringing the societal problem the student addressed back down to the personal level to remind the reader the student’s personal stake in the issue.

What Could Be Improved

One potential criticism of this essay could stem from the ratio of background to active work. The author spends a lot of time setting up their personal connection and the global context of the issue; however, their essay could stand to gain from more content centered on their actual actions towards fighting harassment against women. They could discuss another small-scale discussion or project they led or elaborate more on their current inclusion. Dedicating two paragraphs to this rather than one gives admissions officers a better idea of their leadership skills and active role in fighting harassment.

Table of Contents

Essay #2: Cornell

Prompt: Tell us about your interest in engineering or what you hope to achieve with a degree in engineering. Describe what appeals to you about Cornell Engineering and how it specifically relates to your engineering interests or aspirations. (650 words) 

Storytime with my grandfather was a terrifying thing. With astounding skill, he would seep blood into our carpet and perforate our walls with bullets from a civil war fought before I was born. But what truly frightened me about storytime was my grandfather, who spoke of massacres gloriously, almost with nostalgia, like the people who had  died were not real.

He told the child I was every story he knew about that war but would not tell me about the battle that took his legs.

This was the reason I sat by his stumps each night and listened to stories I hated—because I wanted to know. But it was also because I understood that his storytelling was a kind of exorcism for him. He had not walked since 1970, would never walk again for a country that had not improved, a country spitting on the bloody sacrifices he and his generation had made of their innocence, their limbs, their lives. How does one live with that? My grandfather does not; he has created a different reality for himself where the war was a beautiful, worthy thing, and he lets me into it. The story of his legs did not belong in this reality, so I lusted after it with the brand of hunger I reserved for things I subconsciously knew I would not get.

My grandfather deserved a reality he could cope with enough to admit. I couldn’t reverse the war, couldn’t raise the friends he had lost, but I thought he should walk, that a man deserved to move his feet upon the land he loved.

Although there were indeed prosthetics in Nigerian hospitals, he had no income source whatsoever and could barely even afford a bag of rice to sustain himself.

Day by day, I searched for answers in my introductory science textbook, but to no avail. I carried on this search in high school and made my biology textbook my companion. I studied the body systems in-depth for clues, but I found nothing. One day, I came across Biomechanics, and seeing that it had my answer made me want to study it  in college.

Then came another mammoth task of deciding my place of study. I kept searching and researching, without seeming to find any place fit for me until I came across Cornell’s novel 3D printed prosthetic limbs in the “Silicon Review.” Light, flexible, and cost-effective –a miracle, just what grandpa needed. I had found my home, the home of this model – Sibley School of Mechanical & Aerospace Engineering.

I intend to channel the research experience I gained from Pioneer Academics into Cornell’s undergraduate research programs at Sibley – specifically, the research on orthopedic biomechanics currently ongoing at the Van der Meulen lab. I hope to work with intellectual, goal-driven scholars at Cornell and develop better and safer models of the 3D prosthetic. Also, Cornell’s Tech Summer Research Experience gives me an opportunity to work with engineers in different disciplines, thus diversifying my abilities and improving my innovation. I hope to work at the Nikolaos Bouklos faculty, where I would learn about the model’s unpredictability and explore ways to stabilize it while receiving guidance from Cornell’s world-class faculty mentors.

My life as a Cornell engineer would not be about theory alone. I intend to gain hands-on experience for medical school from the Hospital for Special Surgery and work with body systems to understand the physical, electrical and chemical connections between limbs and prosthetics – a fantastic opportunity for an outstanding, well-rounded education! I love to play soccer, and I hope to learn from the Big Red and become better while contributing my skills to give our opponents the claw.

Fearless and brave, grandpa has been more than an inspiration to me. I hope to repay him in the best way possible, and a Cornell education is what I need to actualize my dream.

So often, “Why Major?” and “Why School?” essays like Cornell’s include one anecdote showing a student’s interest in a topic and then spend the majority of the essay listing offerings at the school that don’t necessarily connect back to the anecdote. That can not be said for this essay.

The beauty of this essay is how focused it is around one central idea, yet it still has a captivating and heart-wrenching anecdote, an explanation of the student’s passion, and a variety of opportunities they plan to take advantage of. Everything in this essay stems from this student’s selflessness and compassion for their grandfather. The anecdote is extremely pertinent to the piece as a whole because the end goal of their major is to develop a prosthetic to help their grandfather.

An important part of the essay is to discuss resources and opportunities at Cornell, and this student accomplishes that so effectively because every resource they describe relates back to the idea of building and improving prosthetics. From working with prosthetic models in a lab to learning about implementation and the body in a hospital, this student frames every opportunity in the light of helping their grandfather. The reader knows exactly what this student intends to do, and what is motivating each extracurricular choice.

This essay leaves us with such a strong impression of who this student is and what motivates them. Their selflessness and dedication to their family has been a driving force throughout high school and will continue to be one in college. They are determined to persevere and want to use their education to help those around them. By revealing so much of their character in this essay, it demonstrates to admissions officers that this is the student they want on their campus.

In general, this is a very strong response and there is little to change. However, in such a highly-focused essay where every detail connects, this sentences feels very out of place: “ I love to play soccer, and I hope to learn from the Big Red and become better while contributing my skills to give our opponents the claw. “

While the student was likely trying to demonstrate a non-academic passion they will bring to Cornell, haphazardly throwing in a singular sentence without connecting it to anything else disrupts the momentum they have built throughout the essay. This essay was so strong because everything related to the common thread of helping their grandfather, but playing soccer is irrelevant to the other points being made. Since this sentence doesn’t tie into any other part of the essay, it would be better off without it.

This is a good example of not including details for the sake of including them. Admissions officers will see your accomplishments in other parts of the application, so you don’t need to work it into your essay if it doesn’t relate. Especially when the topic of the essay is so strong and focused, throwing in extraneous details will only confuse your readers and diminish the overall impact of your essay.

Essay #3: Yale

Prompt: Yale students, faculty, and alumni engage issues of local, national, and international importance. Discuss an issue that is significant to you and how your college experience could help you address it. (250 words)

A chaotic sense of sickness and filth unfolds in an overcrowded border station in McAllen, Texas. Through soundproof windows, migrants motion that they have not showered in weeks and children wear clothes caked in mucus and tears. The humanitarian crisis at the southern border exists not only in photographs published by mainstream media, but miles from my home in South Texas.

As a daughter of immigrants, I have heard countless stories of migrants being turned away by a country they desperately seek to love. After seeing the abhorrent conditions migrants face upon arriving in the U.S., I began volunteering with Loaves and Fishes, an organization that shelters and provides necessities to undocumented immigrants. This year, my experiences collecting donations and working at pop-up soup kitchens have made me realize that the communities in South Texas promote true American values of freedom and opportunity. The U.S. government, however, must do better.

During my university career, I aspire to learn how our immigration system can be positively reformed by considering the politics and economics that shape policy-making. Particularly, classes such as Institutional Design and Institutional Change will prepare me to effect change in existing institutions by analyzing various methods to bolster the economy. 

Additionally, I hope to join the Yale Refugee Project that volunteers at the southern border and prepares asylum cases for court. With the numerous opportunities offered by YRP, I will be part of a generation of activists and lawmakers that builds a more empathetic immigration system.

One of the benefits of this essay is how the student establishes the issue in detail prior to explaining her personal connection to it. The hook uses detailed imagery, typically seen in personal anecdotes, to describe the issue. Describing the issue at hand instead of an experience the student had helps the reader grasp the issue so they know exactly what the student is referring to when she explains her personal connection.

Having already established the issue, it then becomes much easier for the reader to understand the significance to the student without being explicitly told what it is. The combined details of her family’s background and the actions she has taken to address the issue help display her dedication to the issue and passion for solving it. The student never gives the reader an explanation as to why she cares so deeply about this issue, but through her writing, that reveals her internal identity and external actions, it becomes evident.

Another positive aspect was that the essay only discussed two resources at Yale that would be beneficial to the student. For “Why This College” essays, it’s all about quality over quantity. Elaborating on what the specific classes and the Yale Refugee Program will offer her in terms of professional development provides much more insight than if she had listed a bunch of Yale opportunities with no explanation of what made them special to her. 

Something this essay was missing was a conclusion to wrap up the essay. It ends by discussing the Yale Refugee Program, but fails to connect back to the student or the larger issue at hand. It’s understandable that she was pressed for space with a limited word count, but the ending felt abrupt. Adding one sentence to the end that shifts focus back to the student or how Yale as a whole would allow her to better the world would make the essay feel complete, leaving the reader satisfied.

There are many ways this student could tie the essay together in the conclusion, but one way would be to connect back to the observation the student made earlier that the “ U.S. government, however, must do better. ” This line isn’t really elaborated on and without a connection to how she plans to fix the mistakes of the current government it feels unnecessary. Saying something along the lines of “ With the tools Yale would give me I could tear down the barriers to immigration and construct new systems to steer federal immigration policy in an inclusive direction ” would provide a satisfying conclusion and an explanation of how this student will use her public policy degree to improve the government. 

Essay #4: Brown

Prompt: Brown’s Open Curriculum allows students to explore broadly while also diving deeply into their academic pursuits. Tell us about any academic interests that excite you, and how you might use the Open Curriculum to pursue them while also embracing topics with which you are unfamiliar. (200-250 words) 

My mother exclaimed in shock as she saw the title American Murder: The Family Next Door as the latest title on our Netflix watch list. “Why on earth would you want to watch that?” It made no sense to her that I spent free time watching documentaries about the psychopathic tendencies of serial killers.

From listening to neuropsychology podcasts on my long runs to reading Fyodor Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment , I’ve been eager to explore the intersection between neuroscience, society, and the role they play in human nature. Brown’s Open Curriculum would allow me to double concentrate in Neuroscience and Science, Technology, and Society with a theme in Health and Medicine. Classes like Philosophy of Biology and The Moral Brain would begin to answer my questions about the relationship between neuroscience and human ethics. Perhaps I’ll finally understand why Raskolnikov thought he could get away with his crimes.

As an eight-year Latin scholar and five-time Percy Jackson reader, I hope to take classes in the Brown Classics department. I’m also intrigued by Ancient Greek Philosophy, and I plan to explore classic texts such as Plato’s Symposium in Introduction to Greek Literature. Courses like Hippocratic Medicine would allow me to learn about connections between the Classical world and medicine today. 

The brain’s unique composition creates an intricate link between science, history, and modern society that I can only explore at Brown. More importantly, Brown’s diverse environment would introduce me to people with entirely different opinions about Raskolnikov’s motives.

This essay is structured incredibly well. The author uses an anecdote to explain their interests in the opening paragraph. “ My mother exclaimed in shock ,” is the beginning of an opening sentence that draws the reader in, as the reader wants to learn the reason behind the mother’s shock. This opening allows the writer to speak about an interest of theirs, murder documentaries, then tie it to what they’re interested in studying. 

When discussing an academic interest, the author does a great job of providing specific examples connected to Brown. This allows the writer to share how they plan to take advantage of Brown’s unique Open Curriculum. They write, “ Classes like Philosophy of Biology and The Moral Brain would begin to answer my questions about the relationship between neuroscience and human ethics .” By sharing specific classes, it’s clear that the author has done some research about Brown and is truly interested in attending. 

The writer chooses to spend their last paragraph sharing more interests and how they could pursue these interests at Brown. They did a great job sharing a variety of interests, and they made it fun by writing that they’re a “ five-time Percy Jackson reader. ” Sharing details like this about yourself can help make your essays stand out because you come across as relatable, and your essay becomes more engaging and entertaining for the reader!

While it’s nice that the writer mentions various interests, including both neuroscience and classics, there doesn’t seem to be a strong connection between the two topics. The essay would be better if the author improved the transition between the second and third paragraphs. They could say how it’s not common to be able to study both neuroscience and classics because of how different the subjects are but that Brown’s open curriculum lets you pursue both.

More simply, the writer could share why they want to study both topics. Will they both be relevant for their career goals? Are they just curious about exploring a variety of subjects and classes at Brown? No matter the reason, a connection between their interests and a better transition would strengthen this essay.

Additionally, the essay prompt asks students to talk about both topics that interest them and “embracing topics with which you are unfamiliar.” It’s always important to keep the prompt in mind when outlining or writing it. This student wrote a lot about their interests, but it’s a little unclear how they plan to embrace topics with which they’re unfamiliar. Clarifying which topic in this essay the writer hasn’t studied would improve the response and ensure that it directly answers the prompt.

Essay #5: UPenn 

Prompt: How did you discover your intellectual and academic interests, and how will you explore them at the University of Pennsylvania? Please respond considering the specific undergraduate school you have selected. (300-450 words)

There’s a certain energy palpable at protests, each chant a powerful reminder that you are not alone in a seemingly futile fight- it’s why I love organizing. At Penn you will be sure to find me advocating for environmental education in local school districts with Eco Reps (gotta start them young), or even marching through the streets of Philly to demand climate action.

Despite my love for grassroots activism, I often feel frustrated in the weeks following a protest as the buzz dies down; despite overwhelming support for change, be it climate action, BLM, gun control, or Indigenous sovereignty, it often feels like our cries fall upon deaf ears. 

I believe in order for tangible change to occur, our leaders and policymakers need to reflect the diversity and interests of the public. Penn will equip me to be that leader.

Having the tools to understand both the science and history within issues like public health or climate change is something I believe will be invaluable to study in the Environmental Policy and Application program at Penn. Using the knowledge I gain from classes like Natural Disturbances and Human Disasters , which bridges my interest in the environment with the very tangible effects of human-made and natural disasters, I can be a better informed leader, learning from past mistakes to create preventative solutions for future catastrophes through policy. 

Integrated into West Philly, to me, the lack of barriers between campus and the city symbolizes the infinite space for growth and exploration. At Penn, I can study politics while also indulging in the arts at the Arthur Ross Gallery, or how to integrate principles of sustainability in an urban environment. And, of course, being able to admire the beautiful gothic architecture as I sit in class (gotta love that dark academia aesthetic) while also being able to experience the rich culture and diversity of the urban environment of Philadelphia is definitely a plus (I mean, Chinatown and cheesesteaks? Come on!). 

UPenn’s emphasis on global education is especially appealing to me; solving the climate crisis cannot and will not fall upon one country; it must be a collective effort. With that comes the need to understand (and learn from) sustainability in other countries, therefore, having the opportunity to take classes like Politics of the Global Environment in the Political Science program will allow me to gain a deeper understanding of the nuances of international policy and approaches to environmental issues in different countries, where they intersect and how they differ. 

I believe as global citizens it is crucial to approach learning from a global perspective as opposed to a nationalistic one; I believe UPenn will help me do just that. 

This essay does a very nice job of laying out what led this student to pursue politics and what they hope to get out of each opportunity at UPenn. We can see their strong sense of civic duty in the first paragraph when they discuss the excitement of protests, but telling us they feel “ frustrated in the weeks following a protest as the buzz dies down ” helps us understand their need to take things into their own hands.

When discussing different opportunities at Penn, this student chooses depth over breadth—describing why a small number of offerings are important to them and will be beneficial rather than providing a laundry list of items. For example, when they mention a class they are interested in, they elaborate by saying it “ bridges my interest in the environment with the very tangible effects of human-made and natural disasters .” Similarly, they demonstrate their forward-thinking approach when discussing global opportunities by noting their need to “ gain a deeper understanding of the nuances of international policy and approaches to environmental issues in different countries. “

Another positive aspect is how strong this student’s voice is throughout the essay. We see their passion and love for protesting at the beginning, they clearly express their position on representation in politics, and they inject a lot of humor into the paragraph about Philly. Having conviction and making an essay casual yet impactful is a hard balance to strike, but this student does a nice job of that. 

Although it’s important to not just focus on academic opportunities, students can sometimes make the mistake of writing about a city, rather than a school, when they discuss extracurriculars. The paragraph about the opportunities awaiting this student in Philly was great for including their personal voice, but it isn’t specific to Penn. 

Rather than making art galleries and cheesesteaks the primary focus of the paragraph, the student should have discussed a club or organization that is unique to Penn. Something related to climate justice would fit in nicely with the rest of their essay and would give the author the opportunity to further elaborate on what they hope to accomplish out of the classroom. They can still find a way to work in some humor, but it shouldn’t be the main aspect of the paragraph.

Essay #6: Dartmouth

Prompt: The Hawaiian word mo’olelo is often translated as “story” but it can also refer to history, legend, genealogy, and tradition. Use one of these translations to introduce yourself. (250-300 words)

As a child, darkness meant nightmares, so I would pester my grandmother to tell me stories while the sun was trapped amongst silver hues. My religious grandmother would proceed to tell me about the Supreme Being in Hindu mythology, made of Brahma (the creator), Vishnu (the preserver), and Shiva (the destroyer). Together, these Gods defined the cyclical nature of mortal existence through creation and destruction – life and death.

Although I found this idea interesting, each year in my life brought on a better understanding of these Gods’ purposes – I only had a certain number of years before I faced my life’s “destruction.”

My only answer to living more in my one life was to stuff my head into pages filled with the journeys of fictional characters. I was a member of a motorcycle club, a terminally-ill teenager, and much more than what I could be in my physical life. Authors let me experience hundreds of lives through literature, therefore, inspiring me to create fictional lives of my own.

So, hello! I’m Navya – named after a star shining the night I was born. For most of my life, I’ve struggled with the idea that we each experience life only once before our own lives are destroyed, but books have helped me find a way to live thousands of lives. I am an aspiring author and want to write historical fiction books that cheat the Gods, who said that everything must be destroyed, because my characters will never fade. And all this happened because of my grandmother and her love of Hindu mythology. Mythology sparked a quest for me to find how I could get the most out of my life but my mo’olelo is nowhere near its ending. I have more lives to experience and more lives to write. 

This essay beautifully combines this student’s life story with their passion for physical stories. Connecting these two types of stories gives extra depth and nuance to the essay, showing this student’s ability to think creatively. The idea that her life story revolves around fictional stories shines through in sentences like: “ My only answer to living more in my one life was to stuff my head into pages filled with the journeys of fictional characters .”

Our stories aren’t just comprised of the past though, and this essay does a great job of transitioning from the past to the future. Telling the reader “ Authors let me experience hundreds of lives through literature, therefore, inspiring me to create fictional lives of my own ” lets us appreciate how deeply engrained literature  is in this student’s personal story. The admissions officers reading this essay walk away knowing exactly what this student hopes to do one day and where the inspiration for that career came from. 

The idea of stories are woven throughout this essay, making it exceptionally well-connected. Although the beginning is meant to introduce a sense of fear at mortality this student encountered, it is done so through a story her grandmother told about her culture. Then the student explains the sanctuary and inspiration she found through famous stories, and finally it concludes with her describing the stories she will tell. Combined, all these pieces of mythology and literature form this student’s personal story.

The only real weakness in this essay is the conclusion. While it is well-written and nicely summarizes everything the author has explained, it doesn’t contribute anything new to the essay. The only new pieces of information the reader gains is that the student wants to “ write historical fiction books ” and that her “ mo’olelo is nowhere near its ending .”

To avoid redundancy, the conclusion could have been made stronger if it was simply focused on the future. Discussing this student’s aspirations to be a historical fiction writer—maybe including possible stories or time periods she dreams about—would have made the finale more focused and also have given the same amount of attention to the future of her story as she did the past and present. Then, the essay would chronologically follow this student’s life story from when she was young, to her current passion, to her future goals, allowing the reader to seamlessly see the progression, rather than having it restated for us. 

Essay #7: Columbia

Prompt: For applicants to Columbia College, please tell us what from your current and past experiences (either academic or personal) attracts you specifically to the field or fields of study that you noted in the Member Questions section. If you are currently undecided, please write about any field or fields in which you may have an interest at this time. (300 words)

The flickering LED lights began to form into a face of a man when I focused my eyes. The man spoke a ruthless serial killer of the decade who had been arrested in 2004, and my parents shivered at his reaccounting of the case. I curiously tuned in, wondering who he was to speak of such crimes with concrete composure and knowledge. Later, he introduced himself as a profiler named Pyo Chang Won, and I watched the rest of the program by myself without realizing that my parents had left the couch.

After watching the program, I recited the foreign word until it was no longer unfamiliar—”profiler”. I stayed up all-night searching the meaning; my eyes sparkled with the dim light of the monitor as I read the tales of Pyo Chang Won and his Sherlock-like stories. From predicting the future of criminals and knowing the precise vicinity of a killer on the loose, he had saved countless lives; living in communities riddled with crimes in my youth then and even now, I dreamed of working against crimes. However, the traditional path of a lawyer or a police officer only reinforced the three-step cycle of arrest, trial, and jail which continued with no fundamental changes for years; I wanted to work with the psyche of criminals beyond courts and wondered about the inner workings of the mind. 

Such admiration and interest led me to invest my time in psychology. Combined with working with the likes of the Victim Witness Agency, I decided to pursue psychology as my major for my undergraduate education. Later on, I want to specialize my research and education on behavioral/forensic psychology and eventually branch out to my childhood dream of becoming a criminal profiler. 

A major positive of this essay is how it is focused on one moment in time. This student goes into depth about the night they first fell in love with criminal psychology which allows the reader to feel like they are there watching TV with the student and researching afterwards. Having the essay focus on a snapshot of the student’s life opens the door to include more imagery and delve into the internal monologue of the student, thus creating a more engaging and personable essay. 

The student’s genuine fascination for the topic is evident through what they show the reader. They explain that they stayed to finish the show after their parents left, they stayed up all night researching what they just learned, and their eyes sparkled the more they learned about criminal psychology. Providing all these details shows the student’s fascination and passion for this topic without them ever having to explicitly say they were excited about it. 

This essay also does a good job of expanding past the requirements of the prompt to explain what they hope to accomplish with their degree. Including their goals reinforced their passion to pursue this field to admissions officers. It also demonstrated that they are a goal-oriented person who wants to make a difference in the world.

One thing that could be improved in this essay is the grammar. There were a few sentences where there were either typos or just clunky sentences that could be tightened up. In order to catch grammatical errors, you should always give your essay to at least one other person to read. CollegeVine offers  essay reviews that allows students to receive feedback on the grammar, structure, and content of their essays. It’s always a good idea to have a fresh pair of eyes read your essay to catch mistakes that might go unnoticed by you. Having someone review this essay would have likely helped this student fix their grammatical errors.

Essay #8: Harvard

Prompt:   You may wish to include an additional essay if you feel that the college application forms do not provide sufficient opportunity to convey important information about yourself or your accomplishments. You may write on a topic of your choice, or you may choose from one of the following topics:  Travel, living, or working experiences in your own or other communities.

A scream in the night.

In the town of Montagu, South Africa, the sun had set hours ago, leaving its place to a deep dark sky. Everything was peaceful and quiet. In a little lodge, a family of four people had just finished eating on a dimly lit terrace. The heat was so intense even the black silence seemed to suffocate – only a few crickets dared to break its density. The mother asked something to her daughter, who stood up, and bypassed the table. That’s when she screamed. An intense, long scream, that reverberated in the little town of Montagu.

How do I know that? It was me. 

Me, miserable as I had fallen down the terrace… into a plantation of cacti! I couldn’t move. I felt as if each cactus thorn contained poison that spread through my back, my arms, my entire body. The plants were engulfing me into the darkness. I was suffocating, trying to grasp some of the hot, heavy air. Until I felt her hand. My mom’s. 

She and my father organized this trip to South Africa. Valuing experiences more than material wealth, they liked to organize trips to foreign, far away countries. In addition to South Africa, I visited Cuba, Nepal and China. Four countries where landscapes and cities are dissimilar to France’s. Four countries that allowed me to discover numerous communities, recipes and traditions. Four countries where I met animals, plants and humans I had never seen before.

I am a city girl. As a little girl, I was never really fond of flora or fauna. However, during my trips, I was lucky to see animals in freedom and to interact with nature. A baboon broke into my car in South Africa and walked all over me – literally. I held an iguana in Cuba, did a safari in South Africa and talked with a parrot in Nepal. I saw the sun rising on the Machapuchare. I ultimately understood that all I had experienced was thanks to Nature. I realized its preciousness and its urgency to be saved. I gained proximity to the environment that I had always lacked. My blood turned green thanks to travels. 

In addition to animal discoveries, travels are encounter engines. From little to aged humans, from all genders, from everywhere, travels allowed me to meet incredible people. The uncanny apparition of a mysterious little girl particularly touched me in Ghorepani, Nepal. I had walked for seven hours that day, and was waiting for dinner, sitting on a bench. She slowly advanced towards me.

“What’s your name?” I asked the white figure in the obscurity.

The little girl stopped moving. Dark curly hair, dark deep eyes, white clothes covered in mud among the deep dark night. Our eyes locked in each other’s, the sound of our breathing floating in the dense silence, everything seemed to be suspended. After what felt like dozens of hours, she looked at me and silently walked away, a star in the ink black sky. 

Every person encountered made me grow. Some like the Nepalese little girl simply disrupted me, some opened my eyes on poverty, others opened my eyes on racism. Every person I met had a story to share, a fact to transmit. I visited an orphanage in a township in South Africa. The teacher, a frail and tiny woman, explained that racism was still so profound in the country that black and mixed race people were fighting to death in the neighbourhood. Centuries of abuse towards people of color, for children to pay the price, growing up parentless in the orphanage. The sound of the rain was echoing on the metal houses as the children sang their anthem. Wet furrows appeared as raindrops were racing on every cheek:

‘Let us live and strive for freedom,

In South Africa our land.’

Traveling is ultimately a chance. It is an opportunity to understand the complexity of the world by getting close to it. Traveling allowed me to realize the differences between each country and region. But beyond those dissimilarities, I saw singing, dancing and laughing everywhere in the world. Being away brought me closer to my home and my family and friends, my newspaper team, every community I’m involved in. Traveling represents a learning process. I integrated leadership and diligence in Nepal, watching children and old men transport wood on their back. Speaking foreign languages allowed me to acquire experience and put my theoretical skills to practise. I acquired a lot of adaptability through travels as part of their greatness comes from its unpredictability. Traveling truly enriches the intellect of those who have the chance to do it.

This is overall a delightful, very readable essay. The author starts with a dramatic hook to capture the reader’s attention, and they build on that initial story with vivid imagery like “ I felt as if each cactus thorn contained poison that spread through my back, my arms, my entire body. ” In general, the language is strong throughout the entire essay. Other beautiful gems include, “ The sound of the rain was echoing on the metal houses as the children sang their anthem ” and, “ The uncanny apparition of a mysterious little girl particularly touched me. ” The author has a way with words, and they proudly demonstrate it in their response. 

In addition to strong imagery, the author also does a satisfactory job at answering the prompt. The open-ended question not only means that students could answer in a variety of ways, but also that it might be easy to fall into a trap of answering in an unrelated or uninteresting manner. The author here does a good job of directly answering the prompt by providing clear examples of their travels around the world. Their response also goes beyond merely listing experiences; rather, they tell stories and describe some of the notable people they have met along the way. By telling stories and adopting a whimsical tone that evokes the wanderlust of travel, they elevate the impact of their response. 

We also learn a fair amount about the author through their stories and personal reflections. We see that they are concerned about social justice through their retelling of the interactions in South Africa. We see them reflecting on the universal joys of singing and dancing: “ But beyond those dissimilarities, I saw singing, dancing and laughing everywhere in the world. ” In the closing paragraph, we learn that they are adaptable and willing to undergo lifelong learning. Thus, another reason this essay shines is because it not only tells us what travels/experiences the author has engaged in, but it provides deeper introspection regarding how they have grown from these experiences.

While the essay is beautiful, and the fast-moving pace matches the feeling of seeing unfamiliar places for the first time, the narrative runs the risk of being too wide-ranging. The introductory story of falling onto a bed of cacti could warrant an entire essay unto itself, yet the author does not return to it anywhere else in their response. They missed an opportunity to bring the response full circle by ruminating on that once more in their conclusion. 

Another thing to be careful of is how the privilege inherent in international travel might cause the author to see the life through a certain lens. Although they remark upon how their family prioritizes experiences over material wealth, the fact is that extensive international travel relies on having material wealth to pay for costs like airfare and housing. It is important to demonstrate humility and awareness of privilege when responding to college essay prompts, and this is no exception. 

Where to Get Your Essays Edited 

At top schools like the Ivies, your essays account for around 25% of your admissions decision after you clear the academic thresholds. Why is this? Most students applying to the Ivy League will have stellar academics and extracurriculars. Your essays are your chance to stand out and humanize your application.

After reading your essays over and over, it can be difficult to judge your writing objectively. That’s why we created our Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. Since they don’t know you personally, they can be a more objective judge of whether your personality shines through, and whether you’ve fully answered the prompt. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

• Success Stories
• AI Scholar Program
• Startup Internship Program
• Research Scholar Program
• GOALS Academic Support Program
• Test Prep Program
• Passion Project Program
• For Families
• For Schools
• For Employers
• Partnerships
• Content Guides
• News And Awards
• College Admissions
• Events and Webinars

May 15, 2024 | 5:00PM - 6:00PM PST

• The Secret to Ivy League Admissions Essays

Discover strategies that can increase your chances of acceptance into a top 25 college!

• College Admissions Webinars and Events

Jermaine is an Empowerly Premium counselor and former Senior Admissions Officer at Columbia University. He graduated from Connecticut College with a B.S and certificate from the Holleran Center. He spent his early career working in the admissions office for Johns Hopkins SAIS and spent the vast part of his professional career in scholarship and collegiate admissions. Jermaine deeply appreciates the transformative power of a great school in someone’s life, and specializes in supporting students who are interested in the humanities, STEM, social science research, merit scholarships, and artist performance (from his background as a professional vocalist). He has used what he has learned to continue to support students by way of interview prep, essay editing, and leadership development. Jermaine finds a lot of joy in connecting with ambitious students that are ready to explore new interests and utilize their resources to reach their goals!

Join us for a webinar hosted by Jermaine, a former Senior Admissions Officer at Columbia University, as he shares valuable insights on how to write a winning college essay. In this webinar, you will learn the essential components of a compelling essay that stands out among the competition and captures the attention of admissions officers.

Registration

Upcoming webinars.

April 9, 2024 | 5:00PM - 6:00PM PST

Insider Tips to Getting Into an Ivy League

April 17, 2024 | 5:00PM - 6:00PM PST

Counselor Story: How my student got into UC Berkeley

April 25, 2024 | 5:00PM - 6:00PM PST

Studying CS at the UCs: What does it take?

May 8, 2024 | 5:00PM - 6:00PM PST

May 30, 2024 | 5:00PM - 6:00PM PST

Are You On Track to Get Into a UC?

Freshman requirements

• Subject requirement (A-G)
• GPA requirement
• Admission by exception
• English language proficiency
• UC graduation requirements

Additional information for

• California residents
• Out-of-state students
• Home-schooled students

Transfer requirements

• Understanding UC transfer
• Preparing to transfer
• UC transfer programs
• Transfer planning tools

International applicants

• Applying for admission
• English language proficiency (TOEFL/IELTS)
• Passports & visas
• Living accommodations
• Health care & insurance

AP & Exam credits

Applying as a freshman

• Filling out the application
• Dates & deadlines

Personal insight questions

• How applications are reviewed
• After you apply

Applying as a transfer

Types of aid

• Grants & scholarships
• Jobs & work-study
• California DREAM Loan Program
• Middle Class Scholarship Program
• Blue and Gold Opportunity Plan
• Native American Opportunity Plan  
• Who can get financial aid
• How aid works
• Estimate your aid

Apply for financial aid

• Cal Dream Act application tips
• Tuition & cost of attendance
• Glossary & resources
• Santa Barbara
• Campus program & support services
• Check majors
• Freshman admit data
• Transfer admit data
• Native American Opportunity Plan
• You will have 8 questions to choose from. You must respond to only 4 of the 8 questions.
• Each response is limited to a maximum of 350 words.
• Which questions you choose to answer is entirely up to you. However, you should select questions that are most relevant to your experience and that best reflect your individual circumstances.

Keep in mind

• All questions are equal. All are given equal consideration in the application review process, which means there is no advantage or disadvantage to choosing certain questions over others.
• There is no right or wrong way to answer these questions. It’s about getting to know your personality, background, interests and achievements in your own unique voice.  
• Use the additional comments field if there are issues you'd like to address that you didn't have the opportunity to discuss elsewhere on the application. This shouldn't be an essay, but rather a place to note unusual circumstances or anything that might be unclear in other parts of the application. You may use the additional comments field to note extraordinary circumstances related to COVID-19, if necessary. 

Questions & guidance

Remember, the personal insight questions are just that—personal. Which means you should use our guidance for each question just as a suggestion in case you need help. The important thing is expressing who you are, what matters to you and what you want to share with UC. 

1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time. Things to consider: A leadership role can mean more than just a title. It can mean being a mentor to others, acting as the person in charge of a specific task, or taking the lead role in organizing an event or project. Think about what you accomplished and what you learned from the experience. What were your responsibilities?

Did you lead a team? How did your experience change your perspective on leading others? Did you help to resolve an important dispute at your school, church, in your community or an organization? And your leadership role doesn't necessarily have to be limited to school activities. For example, do you help out or take care of your family? 2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. Things to consider: What does creativity mean to you? Do you have a creative skill that is important to you? What have you been able to do with that skill? If you used creativity to solve a problem, what was your solution? What are the steps you took to solve the problem?

How does your creativity influence your decisions inside or outside the classroom? Does your creativity relate to your major or a future career? 3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? Things to consider: If there is a talent or skill that you're proud of, this is the time to share it.You don't necessarily have to be recognized or have received awards for your talent (although if you did and you want to talk about it, feel free to do so). Why is this talent or skill meaningful to you?

Does the talent come naturally or have you worked hard to develop this skill or talent? Does your talent or skill allow you opportunities in or outside the classroom? If so, what are they and how do they fit into your schedule? 4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced. Things to consider: An educational opportunity can be anything that has added value to your educational experience and better prepared you for college. For example, participation in an honors or academic enrichment program, or enrollment in an academy that's geared toward an occupation or a major, or taking advanced courses that interest you; just to name a few.

If you choose to write about educational barriers you've faced, how did you overcome or strive to overcome them? What personal characteristics or skills did you call on to overcome this challenge? How did overcoming this barrier help shape who you are today? 5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement? Things to consider: A challenge could be personal, or something you have faced in your community or school. Why was the challenge significant to you? This is a good opportunity to talk about any obstacles you've faced and what you've learned from the experience. Did you have support from someone else or did you handle it alone?

If you're currently working your way through a challenge, what are you doing now, and does that affect different aspects of your life? For example, ask yourself, How has my life changed at home, at my school, with my friends or with my family? 6. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. Things to consider:  Many students have a passion for one specific academic subject area, something that they just can't get enough of. If that applies to you, what have you done to further that interest? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had inside and outside the classroom such as volunteer work, internships, employment, summer programs, participation in student organizations and/or clubs and what you have gained from your involvement.

Has your interest in the subject influenced you in choosing a major and/or future career? Have you been able to pursue coursework at a higher level in this subject (honors, AP, IB, college or university work)? Are you inspired to pursue this subject further at UC, and how might you do that?

7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? Things to consider: Think of community as a term that can encompass a group, team or a place like your high school, hometown or home. You can define community as you see fit, just make sure you talk about your role in that community. Was there a problem that you wanted to fix in your community?

Why were you inspired to act? What did you learn from your effort? How did your actions benefit others, the wider community or both? Did you work alone or with others to initiate change in your community? 8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California? Things to consider:  If there's anything you want us to know about you but didn't find a question or place in the application to tell us, now's your chance. What have you not shared with us that will highlight a skill, talent, challenge or opportunity that you think will help us know you better?

From your point of view, what do you feel makes you an excellent choice for UC? Don't be afraid to brag a little.

Writing tips

Start early..

Give yourself plenty of time for preparation, careful composition and revisions.

Write persuasively.

Making a list of accomplishments, activities, awards or work will lessen the impact of your words. Expand on a topic by using specific, concrete examples to support the points you want to make.

Use “I” statements.

Talk about yourself so that we can get to know your personality, talents, accomplishments and potential for success on a UC campus. Use “I” and “my” statements in your responses.

Proofread and edit.

Although you will not be evaluated on grammar, spelling or sentence structure, you should proofread your work and make sure your writing is clear. Grammatical and spelling errors can be distracting to the reader and get in the way of what you’re trying to communicate.

Solicit feedback.

Your answers should reflect your own ideas and be written by you alone, but others — family, teachers and friends can offer valuable suggestions. Ask advice of whomever you like, but do not plagiarize from sources in print or online and do not use anyone's words, published or unpublished, but your own.

Copy and paste.

Once you are satisfied with your answers, save them in plain text (ASCII) and paste them into the space provided in the application. Proofread once more to make sure no odd characters or line breaks have appeared.

This is one of many pieces of information we consider in reviewing your application. Your responses can only add value to the application. An admission decision will not be based on this section alone.

Need more help?

Download our worksheets:

• English [PDF]
• Spanish [PDF]

404 Not found

• About IVY’D
• College Admissions
• High School Essay Contest
• Services by Grade Level
• Community Work
• Previous Results
• Testimonials
• Free Resources
• College Profiles

20 Great UC Essay Examples (UC PIQs)

Here are  20 UC essay examples  (also called  UC Personal Insight Essay Examples ) from students of ours that have been accepted to at least  UCLA or UC Berkeley . If you have writer’s block and want to jumpstart your UC personal insight essay writing process, then these UC essay examples will most definitely help :). Remember, you must write 4 UC essays; the word limit is 350!

Personal Insight Prompt 1 Pro-tip

This leadership essay is something many students struggle with. But if you can nail this topic, it can be a powerful UC Personal Insight essay. The trick with this essay is this: it’s all about how you define leadership. 

Sure, leadership can be the obvious things:

• Being captain of the school soccer team. 
• Co-founding a club, being a president of an extracurricular. 

But these are also leadership qualities for this UC Personal Insight essay:

• Stepping up as a leader in the family (taking care of siblings, etc)
• Campaigning and standing up for what you believe in (going to Black Lives Matter protests, organizing mask drives during coronavirus)

Here’s a pro-tip: Most students have an obvious answer to UC Prompt 1. Think outside the box :). The UC Personal Insight Essay examples below will show you how it’s done!

UC Essay Example 1: Leader of school choir

It’s a convoluted masterpiece: 64-pages plastered with musical symbols and Latin. Though Rutter’s “Requiem” sounds rather grotesque (and shrieky) when I’m straining to hit an A5, our debut at Carnegie Hall was a hit!

I’ve been in the _______ girl’s choir since age-11, devoting my Saturday evenings to singing with a group of girls I now call family. Over the years, _______ has become my safe space–from losing badminton matches to coping with my grandfather’s cancer diagnosis, my _______ family gives me momentum to power through my low points.

I first encountered “Requiem” when _______ was announced to perform at Carnegie Hall. Though we were initially ecstatic, reality hit swiftly afterwards–in the form of weekly 5-hour rehearsals. Slowly, our already-small choir shrunk, and our sound became weak–dimensionless.

Desperate to elevate our sound, I coordinated auditions to recruit 5 new members. I mentored the new recruits, introducing them to the other girls and leading sectional practices to ease them into their vocal parts. I was in their shoes once, so I knew how vulnerable singing with a group of total strangers was.

Though we were now 15-strong, we lacked richness in our sound–the majority of us were sopranos, but we needed more altos to enhance the harmony. A soprano myself, I volunteered to sing the alto part.

Rather than singing the melody like I was accustomed to, I listened and learned to harmonize with the sopranos while forging my own in the background. Although I was giving up the limelight, I was undertaking a crucial role–laying the foundation of the harmony. Learning alto wasn’t easy–but ultimately, my versatility helped us find our sound.

As I reached that A5 on stage at Carnegie Hall, I realized that effective leadership is about walking the line between being in the foreground, recruiting new members–and being in the background, singing alto. It’s about supporting the girls around me–my family. My love for _______ propelled me to step up and take action, while also teaching me to step back and let others shine.

UC Essay Example 2: Volunteer Club Director

Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump. My heart hastily beat in panic.

Realizing there were only five days left before the charity diner, my thoughts scrambled, overwhelmed by the surmounting of tasks. As the Area Director in charge of five [town]-based Interact clubs and raising funds for anti-trafficking, it was duty to make ends meet; asking for help would only be a sign of weakness. Thus, I willingly endured the consequences and sleep deprivation, eventually losing balance of my schedule…

Ding. A message reads from my phone: “You’re not alone, how can I help?”

Two opposing arguments then battled in my mind. If I delegate, quality work would not be guaranteed. Yet, if I didn’t delegate, deadlines would be missed. I swallowed my ego, knowing there was really one choice, and replied:

“Yes, can you find a venue to fit 75 attendees? Try community centers, and mention we’re a non-profit organization to negotiate the price down, and let me know if you have any questions. Thanks!”

For months, I had rejected the support of my officers. I struggled to accept help because it meant relinquishing control, so I surrendered to self-isolation in belief that it was the easiest way out. But, it wasn’t; I worked alone, trusted only myself, and suffered alone.

This exchange marked a pivotal transformation in my leadership. From it, I discovered the true responsibilities of a leader–not to figure out every detail of an event, but to delegate tasks and guide officers in the process. I found purpose, existing to foster leadership within others and oversee the execution of an event. I formed various committees, appointed heads, and enforced a timeline that also listed responsibilities. We were brought together–officers would tackle increasingly difficult tasks, and I would provide the resources: leadership advice, budgeting information, letterheads to request donations. The reality was, I couldn’t do everything on my own, no matter how much I strove for self-reliance and independence. Instead, teamwork and interdependence yielded greater accomplishments–cultivating personal growth, fostering fellowship, and altogether raising $[___].

UC Essay Example 3: Founder of Non-profit

Shipped away from the faraway land of [state name], I moved to India in 8th grade. My parents wanted me to be more globally exposed, but what would I gain from moving 8,000-miles away, anyways?

To engage me in the community, my mom took me to visit the outskirts of Hyderabad where we happened upon a rusty house, home to 35 orphaned children.

We began conversing with their only caretaker and learned the children had never seen life outside these 4 broken walls; additionally, each kid had built their own emotional wall, created from trauma from being abandoned by their parents. From behind the caretaker, I saw vivid brown eyes stare at me, eyes belonging to a little girl who was taking solace, hiding.

“Hi there…” I said, but that was all she wanted to hear before hurtling away.

I later learned her name was [name].

Over the next few days, [name] occupied my mind.  How could I help? Eventually, I came up with the idea for [organization name], an organization that would help those kids by raising funds from students at my high school. Breaking through their emotional walls became my goal.

For a year, I visited the kids daily. With every dance class and tutoring session, I sensed their walls slowly crumbling. [Name] however allowed her barrier to block her off completely; her progress became my mission.

One morning, she smiled meekly, ushering me into her room, where she showed me her beloved doll. At that moment, I realized it wasn’t just a doll, but a symbol of her willingness to reciprocate friendship.

[Name] was so deep in her emotional abyss that showing her I cared wasn’t enough. Working relentlessly to prove that I wasn’t going to give up was crucial, and her growth through [organization name] created an internal transformation, allowing her to let love in. As a leader, I learned that bestowing hope onto others can show them that making a difference stems from within.

A year later, I waved bye to the motivated children as I moved back to the States. Though they weren’t completely healed, their smiles showed our progress.

UC Essay Example 4: Basketball Coach

Shoes stomping on concrete in an awkward rhythm and sweat dripping from my jaw, I labored across the finish line. I stood tall, sticking my chest out only to realize that I was the last finisher. Just as men drive Ferraris to flaunt their power, being the fastest runner in middle school meant respect from boys and giggles from girls. Belly jiggling, I ran away from taunts being hurled in my direction.

At the nadir of my physical strength and confidence, I joined my school’s basketball team in hopes of winning my middle school crush’s heart. Although I initially set out with love in mind, I quickly realized that the basketball court wasn’t a simple concrete ground; it was a harbor where I could train my body and prove my budding athleticism, boosting my self-confidence.

As a former player returning to serve as basketball coach 2 years later, I had a unique perspective compared to my colleagues, giving me a unique leadership advantage: unlike older coaches, I was close in age to my players, allowing me to better connect with them. I understood that young boys thrived on competition, so I focused on team scrimmages, which encouraged my players to play fiercely against each other. While other coaches relaxed on the sidelines, I stood in the center, shouting words of encouragement. Instead of telling my players to run one measly lap, I personally led them on half-mile runs, insisting that running was important because it teaches mental perseverance alongside physical fitness. As a leader, I practiced what I preached, doing pushups as punishment on the rare occasions I was tardy.

Despite being an ambitious basketball coach, I had realistic expectations for my players. After all, these boys didn’t aspire to play professional basketball, so I understood there were more aspects to sport than demonstrating excellence. Realizing that there is much perseverance and dedication involved with basketball, I utilized the sport as a method to nurture my players into responsible young men. In contrast to the large number of absences at the beginning, attendance was perfect at the season’s end.

UC Personal Insight #2 Examples

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

Personal Insight Prompt 2: Pro-tip

This UC Essay is an essay prompt that maaaany students gravitate towards. This is a creative UC essay, so here’s a tip: define creativity in your own way. You’ll see in the UC essay examples that you can define creativity in a traditional way, from art to dance. 

But, there are more interesting takes on this prompt. Make sure that you explain why something is creative, for you. For instance, students you can be creative doing the following:

• Building homes for Habitat for Humanity  
• Sumo wrestling (I’m serious!)

UC Essay Example 5: YouTube Creator

“Why do you try so hard?” my friend asked, upon learning that I was editing videos for the third day in a row.

He wasn’t a fan of dedicating time to a task that wasn’t instantly beneficial. For me, however, making YouTube videos wasn’t for short-term gain; I was invested in procuring an audience. To achieve this goal of channel expansion, I hunted for an answer to one question: what strategies did my competitors employ to gain more views and subscribers? I spent 5 years trying to answer this question.

Eventually, I realized the answer was simple: I was too hyperfocused on montage videos–compiled of the most exciting gameplay moments. Video montages were a crowded niche; competing with established channels would be quite an ambitious undertaking. Thus, I began experimenting with other types of videos, such as video game reviews, which turned out successful. I gained traction and found my niche by targeting a Russian audience that doesn’t have the ability of watching English-speaking YouTubers who review games.

Understanding which upcoming games people are excited about is critical in making game review videos. My channel was getting bigger because audiences of gamers wanted to hear judgments on upcoming games before spending their cash. After some time, I attracted enough viewers to expand into other areas of video game-related content.

With over 80 videos and a total of 13,000 views, I’ve learned that I should never expect instant rewards; success always means staying dedicated to work despite setbacks, a principle I’ve started to apply to everything I do, from hobbies to work. My understanding now is that, in all areas of business–including programming–improving a product visually and functionally is just as vital as actually making it. By making videos and exercising my creative side, I learned that it is only by combining the technical side of a product with a good presentation of it to consumers that true commercial success can be achieved.

UC Essay Example 6: Unique & Creative Artist

Art itself is a nuanced word, possessing evolving meanings throughout my life. As a boy, art meant drawing Power Rangers. As a young adult, art serves as a medium where I can impose my feelings and thoughts upon the world, devoid of concerns about others’ approval or disapproval.

Unlike other forms of communication like news articles or Twitter, there are certain liberties artists can leverage to convey their opinions because people approach artwork open mindedly. Instead of condemning a piece as offensive, viewers often deem artwork to be insightful. Thus, through color and lines, I express my queer thoughts without fear of retribution.

During the 2016 election, I created a piece depicting Hillary Clinton as power-hungry. If I had simply voiced this aloud, I would’ve been ridiculed. Instead, I received sophisticated feedback from my peers–some agreed with my perspective while others didn’t. I realized then that artwork serves as a battlefield, in which discussion is encouraged yet the original intent of the art is not criticized.

Delving deeper into my craft, I’ve been entranced by encouraging discussion through the usage of provocative media. Inspired by Alan Turing, a mathematician who dedicated his life to crack the German enigma code, I wanted to portray the notion of sacrifice for the sake of a job. To convey this, I covered a mannequin face with pieces of heart playing cards and planted test tubes around its skull. The cards represent Turing’s human love for his family while the test tubes represents his almost drug-fueled obsession with his work, circling his brain like a crown.

Before these 2 pieces, my primary focus of study was drawing and painting, where I  valued realistically recording what I saw above all else. After making these 2 conceptual pieces, I realized my true talent lies in my thoughts. While there are many artists in the world who can draw and paint better than I, my thoughts are inimitable. I have embraced the idea that art’s true purpose is to allow others a window into an artist’s mind instead of simply replicating reality that nearly everyone can see.

UC Personal Insight #3 Examples

What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over ti

Personal Insight Prompt 3: Pro-tip

UC essay 3 about greatest skill or talent is an essay examples students seem to really like. I’ll be honest, I’m not a HUGE fan of this essay prompt, but it could be quite powerful if you write this UC PIQ well. 

For this UC essay prompt, I’ve seen students writing about anything, from surfing to soft skills like empathy. Actually, if you’re really into writing this essay prompt, check out this  UC Personal Insight Essay example for prompt 3  about surfing for another unique take on this.

UC Essay Example 7: Talented Artist

A bag of stale bread crackled as my mom and I walked hand-in-hand to [name] lake. It was duck feeding time, marking the beginning of my Sunday ritual at age 8. I looked forward to these outings, but not because I enjoyed ducks–I always searched for the woman in the paint-stained hoodie, a true caricature of an “artist.”

She had reached the lake before we did, and stood motionless with her eyes glued to the landscape, painting. I loved observing how she observed her surroundings. Enthralled, I enrolled in art classes.

My art teacher taught me how to capture texture in the shadows, the proportions of the human body, and how the eyes of a portrait hide an artist’s intention. As a student fascinated by human behavior, I was drawn to sketching people in real life. For years, I took pride in  my ability to accurately capture the real-life essence of my subjects.

During freshman year, I was invited to study art in Manhattan. I proudly displayed my works to the Artist-in-Residence, [name].

“These sketches look incomplete,” he said, unimpressed.

So began the most artistically grueling 6 weeks of my life. Everyday, I reinterpreted my sketches to what I hoped was completion; everyday, [name] shook his head. However, I was getting close and developing my own sense of style.  

One day, as I sat on a bench in Times Square, sketching, I noticed how hurried everyone was; I felt a sense of urgency simply by watching. Inspired, I began to capture this hurried look in my art; the end result looked rushed and, ironically,  unfinished. But, it was unfinished with a purpose: it truly captured the essence of my subjects. [name] approved.

That summer, I learned that I’m never finished as an artist; I will continually evolve and my artwork will shift in parallel. Therefore, my previously prized accurate depictions of people doesn’t truly capture their essence. I’ve learned to create my own signature way of interpreting people, and in the UCs, I look forward to contributing my perspectives of growth and artistic vision in the studio and beyond.

UC Personal Insight #4 Examples

Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

Personal Insight Prompt 4: Pro-tip

Personally, I love this UC Essay Prompt. After all, you’re going to college to learn (college is literally an  educational opportunity ), so it’s an awesome opportunity to talk about summer internships and research experiences you’ve held. 

If you have an educational barrier that you’d like to highlight for this UC Personal Insight Essay, that’s also a great option, too. Make sure that you spend time in your essay talking about how you overcame the barrier — this is extremely important! The UC essay examples do a great job painting a picture of how students have taken advantage of educational opportunities. 

UC Essay Example 8: Engineering Research Opportunity

My friends blast Drake in the car, heads bobbing to the rhythm as we drive to Chipotle. Instead, my car “music” tends to be TED talks, ranging from Tony Robbins to artificial intelligence.

Junior year, I was especially moved by a TED talk by MIT professor [name] about renewable energy storage systems. Growing up with an environmental engineer mother and reading Elon Musk’s biography, I became further inspired in alternative energy sources. Sophomore year, I event created a sodium battery by transforming algae in river water for a science fair, winning me [].

Inspired by Professor []’s TED talk, I reached out, and emailed him. Eventually, I was put in touch with a post-doctoral student on the project, leading to a summer internship where I studied liquid battery electrodes.

My first day, I received a stack of Dr. []’s papers dating back to 2000–building blocks of this cutting-edge technology. Eager to prove myself, I shied away from asking for help. Slowly, I pieced together the chemistry behind rechargeable lithium batteries and lab’s objective to create cost-effective, liquid-metal renewable battery separated by a molten salt electrolyte.

Eventually, my mentor called me out for hiding away in the corner.

“Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness–questions lead to ideas that can challenge scientists to think about problems differently!” Dr. [] insisted. I later witnessed this collaborative nature firsthand at weekly lab meetings–debates led people to alter their investigative approaches!

I learned to ask questions, leading to opportunities where I assisted researchers to prepare for tensile tests; my constant prodding even led me to assist the analysis behind the mechanical behavior change of designer polymers behind the battery! As I connected with labmates, I began to see the beauty behind science; scientists build upon other researcher’s findings, and science flourishes in a setting where people are encouraged to challenge the status quo, leading to progress.

At the UCs, I’m eager to build upon my research experience in renewable technology; I aspire to learn, and grow alongside the many talented students, eager to make an impact in our world.

UC Essay Example 9: Attending Biotechnology COSMOS

“I’m sorry but we can’t afford to send you to COSMOS anymore,” my father whispered.

I stared back defeatedly, unsure how to respond. Because of my grandfather’s recent death, my family could no longer afford the $3,500 tuition required for my bioengineering program. Still, I refused to let this opportunity go to waste and got a part-time job at In-N-Out to financially support myself. Knowing how desperately I needed the money, my manager often asked:

“You weren’t scheduled to work today, but do you want to come in and work for six hours?”

“Yes!” I always responded, as six hours brought me eighty dollars closer to my goal.

For hours upon hours, I deciphered orders into the abbreviated buttons on my screen, restocked the dining room, and diced potatoes. Customers oftentimes spoke down at me; just being there felt miserable. I wanted to break down, quit working, but continued believing that my persistence would be rewarded with the opportunity to attend COSMOS. Therefore, I endured the stress and exhaustion.

Thus, I realized: all opportunities required sacrifice, but only I determined whether or not its pursuit would be worthwhile. In overcoming a steep $3500 tuition fee, I took one step forward towards financial independence and discovered that all goals were attainable; it simply depended on my priorities, willingness to sacrifice, and desire to work towards them.

My time at In-N-Out cultivated not only an income, but also personal growth. Fearful of rejection and judgment, I started the job intimidated by the task of interacting with strangers. But, as I initiated more and more conversations with a warm “Hi, how are you?” customers became less frightening, oftentimes responding with a genuine smile. And, soon enough, our short exchanges evolved to meaningful conversations, as routine customers would share a distinct story about their family, culture, or accomplishments. Because of this experience as an order-taker, I now embrace every opportunity to connect with people, understand their background, and broaden my perspective of the world.

UC Essay Example 10: Applied Math Research Opportunity

Kalman filtering is a secret technique that hides in plain sight. Kalman filters guided the Apollo mission to the moon, but they’re like arcane magic in engineering circles. They use programming, mathematical models, and physics to make educated guesses about complex systems. Last summer, eager to take my first steps in aerospace at [company], I was given the chance to create a prototype Kalman filter to fly their satellites in space.

However, when I first stepped foot on [company’s] campus, I was assigned to updating the flight software’s user interface. I had previous experience in similar work so I went straight to my mentor and told him about my aspirations to expand my horizons during the internship. It took two weeks, but we eventually convinced the Applied Math Department to give me the Kalman filter project.

Completely new to this graduate-level field, I worked with fury and concentration unlike any time before. I slowly built up my project, meticulously planning a library of Java classes that could be deployed in any future Kalman filter use-case. I even read a shelf-full of books on topics ranging from communications’ circuit design to orbital mechanics and software architecture.

Just when my project seemed to sputter alive, my tests showed that it wasn’t converging on the satellite’s location. To identify the error in my algorithm, I took my mentor’s guidance, emailed experts at [company], and read every scientific paper I could find. After another week of debugging, my colleague and I found that the algorithm was over-shooting because the covariance matrices were being updated twice. I fixed the bug and felt elated; I had created a fully functional Kalman filter!

Along the way, I took advantage of every opportunity to network, participate in professional development, and grow my understanding of large corporations. My supervisor taught me business basics, the pros and cons of company reorganization, and how contract acquisitions work. I reached out to program managers and found mentors in people that had shaped aerospace since its infancy. My 7-week [company] internship helped me grow as an individual, a computer scientist, and an entrepreneur.

UC Essay Example 11: Computer Science Internship

February 23rd, [year]. 7:59am. As I walked into the library—suffocated by the stress of students frantically making last-minute edits before the entire school submitted their year-long benchmark—the servers came crashing down as the school’s slow internet drastically plummeted from 4 bars to 1 in seconds.

After watching this catastrophe for the 9th time, I wondered how many more heartbroken students there’d be until Irvington eradicated the primordial network system. Thus, I contacted the organization accountable for the networking—[city] Unified School District’s IT Department. After addressing specific problems in my school with the chairman, he offered me a position as a summer intern.

As a student customer and now employee of [city], I had the power to tie my two passions of serving my community and coding together. With my extensive knowledge of the student body’s needs, I knew exactly where to deploy internet access points in places with high student traffic. I eventually developed a symbiotic relationship with my coworkers, as I helped them understand their student customers while they taught me how to troubleshoot networks. In that, I realized that engineers must understand their customers inside-out to be efficient and valuable to their projects.

As I continued connecting iPads and internet-ready devices to high-speed internet, I realized that these Internet of Things (IoT) could bridge the human world and technology. After proving myself useful in installing access points, I contributed to my coworkers’ project of conserving schools’ electricity and air conditioning when school isn’t in session. The following weeks, I used my programming expertise to assign static IP addresses which allow schools to control the electricity remotely. Through this I realized that anyone could code “HelloWorld”. However, actually applying these programming concepts to make real-life improvement—whether it be saving energy or speeding up wifi—connected the dots of humanity and the future of technology.

As this booming technology industry’s exponential growth skyrockets every blink of an eye, technology and humanity are more intertwined than ever. Furthermore, I hope to be a catalyst in our innovative generation where devices are getting faster and smarter by combining my technical skills with people’s needs.

UC Essay Example 12: CS Research

A crackle shook the sky as a meteorite plummeted towards Earth. Below, a tyrannosaurus-rex bellowed its final roar as the meteor engulfed the world aflame. 

“Do it again!” the kids shouted. I smiled at my TechHive team–we had created the museum’s coolest exhibit by creating an augmented-reality (AR) world (while capitalizing on the universal appeal of explosions in children). 

A month ago, our world consisted of scrap cardboard and tangled wires. But with some creativity, we combined servo motors to animate the dinosaurs in their swampy habitat. 

In the middle of our “world,” a camera attached to a Raspberry Pi (a small computer) streamed video into Google Cardboard (VR Headset), controlled by lines of C. By wearing Google Cardboard, visitors were teleported to the Mesozoic. 

Watching the children fumble with the controls of our Playstation-3 controller, however, I realized that they were limited by clunky hardware–the joystick wasn’t responsive, and couldn’t direct precise camera movements. 

Spending hours calibrating the controller, I realized the future of robotics lay in the software–automation could transcend barriers of manually-controlled robotics by self-analyzing the data, and self-correcting imperfections by learning from its own mistakes.

Funneled by curiosity, I pursued computer vision (CV) research under Dr. [] at CalPoly SLO, where we trained machines to “see” the peak ripeness of strawberries from images, so that farmers could determine the optimal time and labor necessary for harvesting.

Using MATLAB and the RGB-values of sample strawberries, I implemented algorithms that extrapolated data onto live action cameras in strawberry fields which identified, counted, and determined the ripeness of the strawberries. 

From integrating AR into a dinosaur exhibit at TechHive to creating algorithms that optimize farmers’ harvests using computer-vision research, I’ve realized that the true beauty of technology lies in its interdisciplinary applications. With these experiences of combining hardware and software, computer science and agriculture, I’ve emerged empowered to tackle problems from combining multidisciplinary perspectives. 

It is through this implementation of ingenuity with the raw cutting edge of technology that I aspire to further explore at the UC’s and develop my true potential to apply engineering to revolutionize the world.

UC Personal Insight #6 Examples

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

Personal Insight Prompt 6: Pro-tip

YAAS. Love this UC Essay prompt, and the Personal Insight Examples below do a great job showcasing this concept.

Here’s a hint: If you can, I would write more about how you’ve furthered this academic interest OUTSIDE the classroom. In other words, for this UC essay, let’s say you want to write about biology. Try to talk about something outside of AP Biology. What other experiences do you have outside of school that got you passionate about this particular subject?

UC Essay Example 13: Political Advocate

Upon returning from my AP Government field trip Washington D.C., my conversation with Congressional leaders on Capitol Hill echoed in my head. I felt inspired by their platform of promoting the common good and refusing lobbying from large corporations. Although I may not be a politician, I was inspired to believe that I could still make a difference in my local community.

Driving up to my front door, I found a letter taped on my front door in bold letters: “VERIZON’S  CELLULAR TOWER INSTALLATION”.

“Who-the-what-now!?” I exclaimed as I found that 5 houses had received same notice. After researching the effects of cellular towers, I found that close vicinity to one would put my family at a high risk of cancer.

Within the next 48-hours before the tower’s approval at City Hall, I rallied everyone and their grandmas to be proactive for the sake of their health and community.  Although learning about public policy was enthralling, actually applying it to the real world seemed like a distant idea—one that only my Congresspeople could do. However, I began realizing that anyone could make in impact leveraging determination and the help of one’s community.

Upon arrival to the city council meeting, I was shocked to see the room overflowed with 350+ people with banners—my teachers, principals, and friends came to show their support! Neighbors who once bickered over whose dog urinated on whose side of the lawn put their differences aside for the common interest of their community.

As I walked up to the podium to present the case, I thought about Hobbes’s natural rights philosophies. Through these civic concepts, I truly understood that our free will determines our self-governed society. The power of public policy lies in the hands of the people.

With an army of people behind me, I could see that they too, understood that politicians  may  have high statuses to make a change. However, a community setting their differences aside for one common goal is  much  stronger than one politician. I realized it only takes the power of one—one person, one action, one community—that makes all the difference.

UC Essay Example 14: Favorite subject = Economics 

In the crisp white room of the Tate gallery, something caught the corner of my eye. “The Snail” it was titled. This was a piece that, despite appearing distinctively simple to me, held significant value in the art world. Although I held a lot of respect for an artist like Matisse, I questioned the presence of the art piece in the gallery: Why is this regarded as priceless in the art world?

Having studied art for over 10 years, I have often wondered how some pieces were deemed priceless while others were left to be forgotten. This subsequently led me to question how one quantifies the value of art. During my study between the intersection of art and economics, I explored this question by learning about the economics of supply and demand, and looking into economic bubbles.

As I further investigated economic models and assumptions, I began to appreciate that rationality—a core tenet of economics—doesn’t apply just to physical utility of a product.

“The Snail” represents an example of an object that cannot be immediately quantified; its intrinsic value rises because it symbolizes cultural and historical significance. “The Snail” was unique and coveted not only because it was one of the last pieces by a renowned artist, but it also celebrated Matisse’s passion for creativity despite inevitable limitations of age, arthritis, and cancer.  

Studying the economic explanation behind the value of art has taught me to reconsider what I would describe as quantifiable value, and consider the meaning behind utility. The physical benefit of a product doesn’t always determine its value. This has influenced me to appreciate the importance of understanding the rationale behind people’s decisions, and has allowed me to reach a deeper understanding of the psyche behind behavioural economics.

This process taught me the importance of making connections between seemingly unrelated fields like economics and psychology to investigate the meaning behind art that gives it new meaning, new light. Upon returning to the Tate Gallery the following summer, I approached exhibitions with a new mindset, and a newfound appreciation for art pieces that provoke new questions and curiosity.

UC Essay Example 15: Pre-med/Biology Student

There is a certain joy in appreciating the beauty of the natural world. Learning the processes of life is like enjoying a entrancing story, a tale that further captivated me through science classes.  I wanted to continue reading this story outside of school, and over the past summer, I was able to work at Parker Center for Allergy and Asthma at Stanford University. There, my internship with Dr. [name] helped define my future and solidify my passion for life sciences.

I came across this internship during junior year after my school counselor encouraged me to apply—I couldn’t believe it when she chose me to join the team! I had some prior wet lab experience through food chemistry projects to create vegan cheese at [organization name] (my neighborhood bio-hackerspace), but working with world-renowned scientists and a Nobel Prize winner just a few doors down was definitely intimidating. I was assigned to work with Dr. [name] to examine the effects of misregulation of airway smooth muscle in the airways of the lungs during embryonic development. Defects could lead to serious diseases affecting the lung, including asthma. We use cutting-edge single-cell analysis to look at expressed genes in the lung to create a library and understand how the cells reacted to disease.

My main task was optimizing our single cell protocol since we desperately needed higher efficiency. I scoured the internet for ideas, reading papers that left my head spinning and talking to experts who made me more confused. After a summer of struggle, I came across a paper that described an enzyme that could join incomplete genetic sequences together so they would not be lost—bingo, just what I needed. The months of failure finally led to a fruitful solution, and the increase of data was pivotal in our lab’s application for grants.

The internship exposed me to the two sides of research—the grind and the overwhelming happiness following a positive result.  The pure joy of watching my project bear fruit made me fall more in love with research and has influenced me to continue my journey towards making the world a healthier place.

UC Personal Insight #7 Examples

What have you done to make your school or your community a better

Personal Insight Prompt 7: Pro-tip

This UC Essay prompt is really nice, and allows you to showcase the types of contribution you’ll make to the UC campus.

Here’s a pro-tip: make sure you write about an experience that genuinely resonates with you, because your emotional connection to this topic is very important. Take a look at the essay examples below; you can definitely feel just how much these students cared about their specific cause.

UC Essay Example 16: Creating Cancer Awareness Week

The first day I rolled [Name’s] wheelchair around school, people stared and whispered about him. Classmates even smirked, “This will definitely grant you an A in [] class.” Dumbstruck by the lack of empathy around me, I picked my jaw up off the ground and replied, “[Name]  isn’t  some charity project for his incurable cancer. He is my friend.”

In my little bubble we call “high school”, my community is caught up in the stigma that we’ll only succeed when we achieve a 4.0 GPA or be the ‘first person to cure cancer.’ However, in reality, the stress that eats us up pales in comparison to the bacterium consuming [Name’s] brain. Although his time is limited, he isn’t dying. He’s  living . [Name’s] optimistic outlook gave me a reality check and reminded my peers and me to stop from worrying about “straight-A’s” and start caring about people around us. Weeks following, I hosted a [Cancer] Awareness Week to help my peers to not only empathize with [Name], but also see life through his eyes.

Through spending time with [Name], I’ve been inspired by his positive outlook. I wanted to show him that his school community would fight alongside him during his battle. As people began to put their priorities in perspective, hundreds of community members participated in the walkathons and school fundraisers that I hosted for him, raising $[] to try to ease his family’s financial burden for his monthly treatments.

Today, as we walk down the halls together, classmates still stare–they stare with admiration as they give [Name] a warm “What’s up!” Through my friendship with [Name], both my community and I understand the lesson which most adults only realize at the end of their lives: The shortsightedness in the mindless race to superficial success are meaningless without taking the time to genuinely cherish our relationships.

UC Essay Example 17: Volunteering through Debate Club

In [xth] grade, I was lucky enough to join the middle school debate team; it made me articulate, graceful, and deliberate with my thought process. However, in high school, I learned that my middle school debate program was shut down–my childhood playground was torn down in front of my eyes! Nearly 100 kids, including my little brother, would be robbed of the opportunity given to me.

I envisioned a program that would meet after school, getting kids and parents excited about forensics at a younger age. Within 2-weeks, I started meeting with the school principals in my city to communicate my visions. Fortunately, they were very receptive to the idea, prompting me to begin advertising the [name of organization] immediately. By November, we held our first practice.

We started our meetings by teaching the kids to give 30-second speeches debating fun topics like Spiderman versus Superman or Chocolate versus Vanilla Ice Cream, to capture their interest. The students were unruly out of excitement for learning “big kid stuff”, but their enthusiasm made the extra effort truly worth it.

Each of the 30 students approached debate differently and pushed me to expand my own understanding of public speaking. Eventually, we progressed to topics like yearlong school and California’s 3-strikes law. It was gratifying to see the kids’ growth through this process. The most amazing experience I had was when [Name], who would cry behind his wireframe glasses when asked to stand in front of the class, gave a one-minute speech in front of everyone. In his courage I saw the grit and wit of a successful speaker.

I’m thrilled that my humble platform has gained traction in the community. This is my second year running the club and my other team members clearly show the enthusiasm to keep the organization alive. Best of all, within two years, we will see the first batch of [name of organization] alums in varsity debate at my high school.

UC Essay Example 18: Caring for Disabled Patients

She was nothing like I imagined. Sitting in a wheelchair like a pale doll, she had tubes and inch-long stitches covering her body.

I had no idea what I had signed up for when I took the job of caring for [Name], who has disabilities that prevent her from talking, walking, and standing. I knew that this would be an enormous responsibility, but I resolved to stay committed, believing that helping someone who needs it is a must.

For months, I didn’t know how to act around  [Name]: how should I talk to her? Can I touch her? Despite my efforts, there was a palpable distance between us–physically and emotionally.

I had to gain [Name’s] acceptance. Eventually, I noticed her irrevocable schedule, consisting of stretching, using her standing frame, watching movies  then napping in an endless loop. Her nurses rarely engaged with her or even asked her what she wanted to do. So I took a  different approach by simply talking to her and treating her like any human should.

Slowly she began opening up to me, and eventually, I learned that she enjoyed piano. A week later, I brought a keyboard to teach her how to press the keys and she began clapping when I entered her room! As we became closer, it felt wrong to get paid for caring for a close friend, and I proposed to  [Name’s] family how I would be happy to continue taking care of [Name] on a voluntary basis.

I have been taking care of  [Name] for three years now. Through her, I’ve learned my greatest lesson: learning how to be happy and enjoy the present. [Name] enjoys everyone and everything around her, despite her limitations. She blows me a kiss when I play piano and claps when I walk in the room. Even the healthiest people I know don’t have the same capabilities to be genuinely happy like she does. Through [Name], I’ve been inspired to adopt her joyful and unconditionally loving  mentality, which are perspectives and contributions that I aspire to bring to my UC community.

UC Personal Insight #8 Examples

Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

Personal Insight Prompt 8: Pro-tip

This UC essay makes people a bit anxious.  I mean, what  is  that ONE THING that sets you apart from everyone else? Here’s my argument, whether or not you decide to answer this prompt: One day, you will go out into the workforce and interview for your dream job. A question your future employer WILL ask is something very similar to this UC essay. “So, there are tons of qualified candidates for this dream job… what makes YOU so special?” And, you’ll have to convince them. 

So, see this UC Personal Insight Question as the perfect opportunity to practice your answer. The essay examples below do a great job showcasing the plethora of different interpretations you can take on this prompt.

UC Essay Example 19: Culture of Hard Work

“Did you get that from the Dollar Store?”

My cheeks blushed with embarrassment, as I glanced over my 64-pack of crayons that were, in fact, from the Dollar Store. I was told by my parents to value these crayons because their sheer quantity would last me through elementary school. And, out of all my friends, I was the only one to receive free meals. I was convinced that our family was special; when in actuality, I was being protected from a harsher reality.

Years later, when it came to the discussion of my father’s retirement, I intermediated as a translator. Yet, before I could decipher our financial consultant’s advice, my father stormed off, shouting with his thick accent:

“No retire! I work!”

Thus, my father continued his career as a postal carrier. He endured an exhausting daily cycle: delivering mail along a 10-mile route, running errands after work, then resting until his next shift. His ceaseless fatigue affirmed that our family’s income was hard-earned money.

“Why does Papa keep working?” I asked.

“He just likes to work,” my mom replied.

But this was a white lie. Tears trailed down from my eyes when I discovered the surmounting amount of loans—all confessing the magnitude of my parents’ sacrifices to create a “normal life” for me. I was given a quality education, because my parents took out a mortgage for a house in a better school district. I was given ceaseless love and support, because my mom gave up her career to become a full-time mom.

In some form, sacrifices are always being made by our family, friends, and community—all for another’s benefit. Having grown up in a working class family,  entitlement did not exist; only hard work, regardless of whether it was mine or my parents, would better the conditions over time. Thus, raised by the altruistic and diligent examples that I call Mom and Dad, I became an individual who aids others unconditionally and values the simple pleasures of life. Yet, above all, I value connectivity, as there are always people who have pushed me towards success.

UC Essay Example 20: LGBTQ Advocacy

As a newly-minted driver, I had limited options where I was permitted to drive my mother’s Camry. Amongst the tantalizing choices–including Chevron–I chose CVS for my escapades.

I’d peruse each aisle, starting with toiletries. I enjoyed reading shampoo ingredients, leading me to learn about the chemical bonds of its compounds like sulfate, an insecticide.

One Tuesday in late-January, I found myself crashing into the velvet adorned Hallmark card aisle. Reading each Valentine’s Day card, I realized: ALL these were geared towards heterosexually-identifying people.

As a straight female, I unquestioningly supported LGBTQ rights. However, this moment opened my eyes to the nuances that quietly lurked in my pharmacy–nuances that could make a gay person feel excluded.

I later learned 1-in-10 Americans identify as LGBTQ, meaning Hallmarks of the world were turning a blind eye to 32-million LGTBQ-identifying people, sending the message that their love was different!

I wanted to back my support with action, prompting me to attend my school’s LGBTQ Club meeting. I felt uncomfortable, like all eyes were on me as my classmates witnessed me walking into LGBTQ meeting. A fraction of myself began to understand how difficult it might be to “come-out” even in a supposedly open-minded environment.

Later, I wrote a piece in my school newspaper detailing my CVS revelation and LGBTQ Club experiences, imploring our school to be more mindful of the unconscious biases we create. I also spearheaded my school’s prom committee, ensuring it was inclusive. This year, I helped launch “LGBTQ Week” at my old middle school, teaching students to be mindful of the language they used.

I smile as lightbulbs go off in the kids’ minds as they realize that we can’t simply assume that a boy automatically has a girlfriend, meaning we have to be mindful of the gender pronouns we use. I smile when a student who I later learned has two mothers came to give me a fist-bump. At the UCs, I’m steadfastly committed to ensuring that we create a loving, inclusive community; to the UCs, I aspire to continue turning on more lightbulbs of realization, intellectually and personally.

About IVY'D College Prep

Welcome to IVY’D – Your Compass to Ivy League Success! We specialize in guiding ambitious high school students on their journey to the most prestigious colleges in the nation. Our services are meticulously designed to cover every aspect of the college admissions process.

Whether it’s navigating the complexities of financial aid, tailoring extracurricular profiles, or connecting with alumni networks, our dedicated team is committed to transforming your college aspirations into extraordinary achievements. Start your journey with IVY’D, where your Ivy League dream becomes a reality.

Recent Articles

What To Wear To A College Visit & More: Do’s and Don’ts

What’s An Unweighted GPA & How to Calculate it

What Is A Weighted GPA & How To Calculate It

High School Senior Checklist for College Admission

How to Get Better Grades in High School: 10 Tips

Learn More About...

Begin preparing for college today.

Schedule a consultation and find out how IVY’D can help you get into your dream college or program.

Explore, Excel, and Elevate with IVY’D College Prep

• Privacy Policy
• Terms & Conditions
• Press Releases

Email: [email protected] Phone: 707-232-5269

Copyright © 2024 IVY’D College Prep. All right reserved.

• Term of Service

Schedule a free consultation

• Share full article

Advertisement

Supported by

ESSAY; Moscow's China Card

By William Safire

• Sept. 8, 1986

Every decade or so, China undergoes a political convulsion. In 1948-49, the Communists threw out the Kuomintang; in 1956, Mao's ''Great Leap Forward'' plunged the country into a depression; in 1966, the Cultural Revolution to purify the party brought on a new Dark Ages; in 1976-78, we saw Mao's would-be radical successors, the ''Gang of Four,'' replaced by pragmatic Deng Xiaoping.

Now we are celebrating the 10th anniversary of the death of Mao, and some Pekingologists would have us believe that this decade's upheaval will not come.

Mr. Deng, at 82, has provided for his succession, we are assured: it's all set for Hu Yaobang and Zhao Ziyang to succeed him, with Hu Qili of the next generation right behind. Not to worry, goes the current Edgar Snow-job: China's new era of ''commutalism,'' communism with a capitalist face, will march undisturbed into the next millennium.

I wonder. Maybe the conventional wisdom will prove right for once. But for argument's sake, let's look at what is happening in China through a different set of glasses, seeking truth from facts.

Fact number one is that a wave of materialism is sweeping across the billion people of China. After a generation of repression, good ol' greed is back in the saddle, and an I'm-all right-Deng attitude permeates the new entrepreneurs.

As a longtime expositor of the virtue of greed in powering the engine of social progress, I cannot cluck-cluck at this. But there is a difference between the materialism of the Chinese on Taiwan, who are accustomed to free enterprise, and the lust for the good life of available goods on the mainland, where a terrible thirst has been a-building.

Let us assume that the outburst of materialism in China leads to some reaction: that some spoilsport faction emerges to summon up the ghost of Mao's ideological purity, and that this new gang of fortyish Outs finds its way back in. It is at least a possibility.

I think that shrewd old Deng is well aware of this possibility. That is why, despite his ostentatious rejection of personal cultdom, he is preparing his most dramatic assault on the memory of Mao. That father of the revolution startled the world by breaking with the Soviet Union; Mr. Deng, playing a revisionist Lenin to Mao's Marx, wants to startle the world and overwhelm internal opposition by a rapprochement with Moscow.

Accordingly, fact two: He has abandoned his demand that Russia move back its huge army from the Chinese border, thereby double-crossing his own Army leaders. He has forgotten his requirement that Soviet forces be withdrawn from Afghanistan, thereby double-crossing his Westernish ally, Pakistan.

All Mr. Deng now asks of the Russians is that they try to squeeze their Vietnamese clients to pull out of Cambodia. Of course they'll try - ''best efforts'' is an easy promise - and since the Vietnamese are notoriously independent, Moscow cannot be blamed for not succeeding. Result: Mr. Deng takes the salute from atop the wall in Red Square.

That reestablishes his Communist credentials, defanging hard-left opposition at home. And it is Middle Kingdom orthodoxy; I suspect Chinese agents in the U.S. supply the K.G.B. with intelligence, just as Peking permits our Big Ears on its soil to overhear Kremlin transmissions. Chinese policy has always been to play the barbarians against each other.

This theory would also explain fact three: Mr. Gorbachev's seizure of a U.S. newsman as hostage. It is no coincidence that this particular hostage selection follows China's arrest and expulsion of a reporter for a U.S. newspaper. The Soviet leader, advised by Anatoly Dobrynin, must have known that this slap in the face would jeopardize a summit - and went ahead with his calculated humiliation, similar to Mr. Nixon's mining of Haiphong harbor before his Moscow summit in 1972.

Because the Russians now have the prospect of a pilgrimage to Moscow by Mr. Deng, they can taunt the U.S. President with impunity. As Mr. Dobrynin probably predicted, Mr. Reagan is reduced to begging for the hostage's release, in effect volunteering testimony to a Soviet court, in his eagerness to crown his Presidency with a peacemaking summit.

Now Mr. Gorbachev can hang tough, holding a show trial and thereby delaying negotiations with the U.S. until the Deng visit - or can graciously accede to the Reagan plea, thereby establishing his dominance. And the overconfident Mr. Reagan never suspected, as he sat down to summit poker, that this time the China card was in his opponent's hand.