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IELTS Essay Samples of Band 6

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• IELTS Essays - Band 6 , IELTS Writing Samples

Here you can find IELTS Essay samples of Band 6, written by students and graded by an IELTS teacher.

The topic of each essay appears when you hold the mouse over the link. Every essay is checked, marked, has comments and suggestions. Hold the mouse over to see suggested corrections. The teacher’s summary is at the bottom of each essay.

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Note: the essays are checked by an IELTS teacher, not an IELTS examiner or examiner trainer. All the bands are approximate.

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12 thoughts on “IELTS Essay Samples of Band 6”

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I am very interested in essays because I am bad at of this.when teacher gives homework I never get topscore .

I am requried writing 6.5 you can help me

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I always try to.the essay follow

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• Task 2 Band 6 Examples

IELTS Writing Task 2 Band 6 Examples

These are IELTS Writing Task 2 band 6 examples (or 6.5) of essays that have been submitted by candidates practising for the test. There are also  basic comments on the score for each criteria by an experienced IELTS instructor. 

View other samples:

• Band 8 Samples
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Topic: Water Shortages (band 6)

Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem.

What are the causes of the increased demand and what measure could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?

Fresh water resource is a worldwide issue, that is related to varied factors, and it should be involve every country in the world. This essay will illustrate some reasons of the increasing demand and some solutions to solve as soon as possible.

Nowadays, because of industrialization, many European country has resolved this problem because every citizen are able to get drinkable water, but there is a huge difference with the third countries. Although, European people do not miss water, limited water resource is becoming a global emergency that could affect every nation.

Firstly, the rising request is related to the overpopulation; that is the reason why Chinese government has tried to reduce and regulate birth, so they have got the power to limit and control the population growth; this is not a reasonable political action to take.

Secondly, the overpopulation has caused a growing demand of food, so further water has been used by farmer for agriculture; moreover, not all the farms have an appropriate and modern infrastructures and machines to give water to the soil, consequently a huge amount of this natural resource is wasted.

A solution could be taken by local governments, such as, investments in new technologies, which are able to reuse water from soil, or more invested money on the creation of food in laboratories, in this last scenario a vast amount of water could be saved.

In addition, global warming has affected significantly this issue, for this reason international cooperation should try to reduce the environment changing to preserve water, avoiding deforestation and pollution, increasing renewable energy. I would suggest teaching and educating children and students to save water in everyday life, these lessons could help them to notice their usage in their private house.

In conclusion, I think some solutions could be found to fix the problem; however, we should work all together to make the difference.

Task Response: 6

You have discussed the issues quite well but not all are fully explained . You have mentioned that global warming is a cause near the end but you haven’t explained why it leads to water shortage. You also have some irrelevant information like the body paragraph after the introduction or this sentence which is not related to the question: “ this is not a reasonable political action to take .” Fix these issues and you are likely nearer a 7 for TR. 

Coherence & Cohesion: 6

You do have issues with organisation and CC. As mentioned above – you introduce ‘ global warming ’, a ‘ cause ’ near the end. Surely this should be with the other ‘ causes ’ at the start of the essay. Also you have lots of short paragraphs. Put the causes in one paragraph and the solutions in the next paragraph. I’m also not sure what the first body paragraph after the introduction is for as it does not relate to causes or solutions - it looks like you might be introducing the issue, but don't waste time on this. Focus on directly answering the question.  

Lexical Resource: 6

Vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but you have some problems with the way you use lexis, such as saying "solutions to solve".

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

This is probably just a 6 but it's borderline 5. You do have quite a few small errors, especially nearer the start, though it improves as your essay progresses. Particularly noticeable is issue with punctuation. You are using commas when you need full-stops or some kind of transition. Check out how you need to punctuate to avoid ‘comma splices’.

Topic: Reading & Writing Skills (Band 6)

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, our life improved by technology developments. Although some people think that communication through computers and mobile phones increased and has a detrimental effect on how young generation develop their skills in reading and writing, others think that this impact of technology is not a disadvantage. I strongly belive that young people reading and writing skills have suffered due to increasing usage of computers and mobile phones.

To begin with, technology  increases day by day and we have to be aware of what is new and implement it on our everyday life. It is certainly known that communication through online platforms it is more easier than the usual one and currently it is vital to have at least one tool like mobile phone or computer if someone wants to have an online conversation with somebody else. A survey was conducted on young subjects in 2007, in the United Kingdom and almost 90% of their respondents agreed with the fact that communication using devices is easier and more effective than using traditional ways and they looked more willing to use a device, like a digital book rather than have similar reading like in the previous generations.

To add more, there are many situations which provide that communication using only devices can be deficitary and it involves a lot of disadvantages. First and foremost, young generation can not experience the biggest pleasure of reading a new book, feeling the fragrance of their pages while sitting at the desk. Also, from the primary school, children learn how to effectively write and this situation needs improvement every day, because currently during the classes, many children get distracted and try to avoid what is vital for a society: to know how to correctly write. What is more, it has been proven that writing on a device decrease the rate of concentration in left emisphere of the brain and ought to this issue, many health problems can appear and develop. Nevertheless, technology development is an insurmontable situation that can not be stopped. During the years 2010-2020, a study was made using foreign students from my University and the results shown that those who used devices like mobile phones or computers in order to communicate had a lower rate of learning our mother tongue than others who concentrated on traditional books. Furthermore, a long period of time looking at blue screens affected the visual content and therefore most of them needed to see an Ophtalmologist.

To conclude, it is evident that communication is the most striking feature in our everyday life and both traditional and digital paths can be used, but younger generation needs to be aware of the disadvantages of using most of the time only devices like computers and mobile phones, because the drawbacks can outweigh more than the positive effects.

Task Response: 5

Much of your answer if you look does not actually answer the question - how are reading and writing skills affected. You address this briefly in body para 2 but your whole response should address this. 

For a 7, each body paragraph should have a central idea but your essay does not appear to do this. It gets confusing as to what the main idea of each is as you discuss positives and negatives.

Lexical Resource: 7

Grammatical range and accuracy: 7.

Lexis and grammar are stronger points in your essay; however, there are still quite a few obvious grammar errors so GR is borderline 6/7. You are writing too much. Reduce the amount you write and focus on brainstorming (making sure your ideas answer the question) planning, organising and checking grammar. There are some lessons here you may find useful.

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How to Write a Band 6 Essay

Every year 11 and 12 student has essay writing as a crucial element of their matriculation. English is a compulsory subject for students completing both the HSC and IB, with essays the prominent feature of both English courses. For HSC students, you should be aiming to write Band 6 level essays (the highest mark bracket), and IB students should aim to achieve 7’s (Band 6 equivalent) in their essays. 

TutorTime’s top tips to writing a Band 6 Essay:

• Create a thorough and sophisticated essay plan 

What’s your initial reaction to the question? Do you agree, and if so, why? Do you disagree, and if so, why? Don’t try to fabricate the correct response in line with the paragraphs you have prepared.  

Don’t be afraid to disagree with the question, or to agree partially. The best essays have sophisticated theses. Markers don’t want you to completely agree with the question.  

Think about the wider context. If you come to a conclusion, e.g. Eliot characterises the individual experience as depressing, ask yourself why he does this. Remember, in English everything is a metaphor or emblematic of something bigger. Even if it seems silly, conclude that your themes are metaphors for “the greater…”. This is how you can turn themes into techniques.

• Understand the rubric 

For HSC students, you should have a thorough understanding of the rubric for each module. These can be located on the NESA website. You may want to make a mind map out of the key rubric words. Band 6 essay’s integrate rubric words and phrases into their theses and throughout the essay. 

• Answer the question

This may seem obvious, but many students underestimate the importance of answering the essay question not just once, but constantly and consistently throughout their essays. A trick you may want to try is to write the question in big font and place it next to your laptop so you ensure you are constantly referring back to what is being asked. Reread your essay every time you add a new paragraph to make sure it answers the question.

• Use your paragraphs to take the marker on a journey 

Each paragraph of your essay should discuss your thesis and the essay question at a different angle. For example, if your thesis is “Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet suggests love is an overwhelming human experience”, your first paragraph could interrogate the overwhelming experience of love from the perspective of the individual, your second paragraph could offer the perspective of the collective, and your third paragraph may take an entirely different approach and discuss the possibility that love is not an overwhelming experience. 

This technique is called playing devil’s advocate, and the most sophisticated essays often include a paragraph that considers an idea contrary to their thesis. However, if you decide to do this, you must include a sentence or two (with evidence) that explains why this in fact isn’t the case. This ensures that you do not contradict yourself. 

• Choose strong evidence and techniques 

Texts often have many pieces of evidence that can be used to substantiate the same piece of analysis. This allows you to choose the strongest one. Avoid cliché or overused pieces of evidence – for example, an essay about Hamlet should not analyse the quote “to be or not to be” as markers have read this a thousand times before. 

The techniques that you use alongside your evidence should be the strongest ones available. This means that you should prioritise complex techniques such metaphor, pathetic fallacy and enjambment over simple and unimaginative techniques such as visual imagery or evocative language. 

• Avoid repetition and rephrasing the question

Band 6 essays are not repetitive – every word is there because it enhances the argument in a nuanced manner. To avoid repetition, ensure you edit your essay thoroughly. This could include printing it out and going through it with a highlighter, or reading your essay out loud. 

A common mistake students make is to simple rephrase the essay question in their introductions, conclusions and topic sentences. 

For example, if your essay question asks: “Othello, most of all, is a play about a man’s never ending struggle to keep chaos at bay.” To what extent do you agree?

A Band 3-4 essay would start by rewriting the question. However, a Band 6 essay may read: “The personified notion of chaos exists to disrupt, penetrating the individual’s inner psyche to corrupt their morality”. 

Notice that the above sentence does not include the text. You may want to try this in your own essays, starting with a general sentence about the key idea and using your second sentence to introduce your text and author. 

If you or your child is struggling to understand any of the above content or require further advice, contact TutorTime today to book a TutorTime tutor. 

Need to find a tutor? You can  book a tutor  if your child needs some one on one support. We have face to face online tutoring, home tutoring and group tutoring classes mapped to the Australian curriculum. We specialise in HSC tutoring, NAPLAN tutoring, chemistry tutoring, maths tutoring, English tutoring, Japanese tutoring, science tutoring, history tutoring and more!

Call us today on 1300 788 867 to find out more.

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Band 6 Student Answer with Examiner’s Report

Lots of students only require a Band 6 or 6.5 in their IELTS test and I get lots of questions every week about what a Band 6 essay looks like and what is required to get a 6. I recently marked a Band 6 essay for one of our essay correction service students and you can read it below.

I have included the picture of the original essay below so you can see the original corrections and I have included the examiner’s report and sample answer. This student was able to get the Band 7 they required after following the advice below.

Task Response- Band 6

You address all parts of the task and cover both arguments. However, the question asked you to discuss both views and you spend much more time saying why children were happy and not adults.

You presented a clear position throughout the response. It was very good to see that you gave a clear thesis statement in your introduction and then used the rest of the essay to support this view. ƒ

You present, extend and support main ideas, but there was a tendency to over-generalise at times.

Suggestions –

For discussion (discuss both views) it is important that you give equal time to both views. Even if you disagree with one view, you should write one paragraph saying why you disagree. If you did this, you would have got a higher band.

One thing that you could do better is provide specific examples. The more specific you can be with your examples, the more authority your points have. You can make your examples more specific by adding dates, statistics, peoples’ names or place names. See my article below.

Be careful not to have too many ideas. Your ideas are relevant, but it is better to have fewer ideas and support these with explanations and examples, than simply list lots of ideas that are not fully developed. Examiners are looking for fully developed ideas, not lists of ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion- Band 7

You logically organise information and ideas; there is clear progression throughout. The structure that you have used really helps in this area and makes everything easy to follow and flows very nicely. However, it can be improved even more.

You use a range of cohesive devices (linking words) appropriately although there is some over-use. All linking words are used accurately and effectively, but there tends to be a reliance on them through overuse. This is not a huge problem, but the higher band scores use cohesive devices much less than you currently do.

Each paragraph presents a clear central topic and this is really helped by a topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph.

Try using this paragraph structure for discussion questions:

Introduction • Paraphrase Question • Thesis Statement • Outline Statement (outline what you will discuss in the rest of the essay)

Discussion of first side • Main point • Explanation of main point (linked to your opinion) • Example

Discussion of second side • Main point • Explanation of main point (linked to your opinion) • Example

Conclusion • Summary of main ideas and opinion

Your use of cohesive devices is very good, but you do have a tendency to overuse them. You don’t get more marks for every cohesive device you use and in fact, you will be penalised for overusing them. Only use them when necessary. If you look at my example essays I might only use them once or twice per paragraph.

Vocabulary- Band 6

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the task such as ‘financial responsibilities’, ‘academic environment’ and ‘scientific competitions’. You attempt to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy and you make some errors in word formation, but they do not impede communication. Please see corrections above for examples of this.

You do try to use advanced vocabulary but this often leads to small mistakes. Follow the 100% rule- don’t try to use any words you are not 100% sure about. It is better to use simple words and make no mistakes than use advanced words, but in error. By 100% I mean that you should be sure about spelling, grammar, collocations, synonyms, antonyms etc.

In the long term you should think about starting a vocabulary book. This is a place where you record new vocabulary with spelling, grammar, collocations, synonyms, antonyms and example sentences to make sure you know it 100%. You can then review these new words regularly so that they become a natural part of your vocabulary.

You should also give yourself a few minutes at the end to evaluate your vocabulary and make sure you have not made any mistakes.

Finally, synonyms are important and you should try to use them, but only use them if you know that they mean exactly the same as the word you are replacing. They should also be grammatically correct. If you are not sure, just repeat the word.

Grammar- Band 5

You attempt complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple sentences.

You make frequent grammatical errors and some errors can cause some difficulty for the reader.

Please see above for grammatical errors.

Suggestions-

Establish your common grammar errors and then review this grammar. There are lots of online activities you can do to practice and perfect each area you are weak in.

Also, follow the 100% rule for grammar. You should only write sentences that you know are 100% correct. If there is any doubt then you need to think about how you can express your point in a simpler way, that has no mistakes.

It is better to write in a simple way and make no mistakes, than use complex grammar and structures with frequent errors.

Overall- Band 6

Overall this was a good essay but there are some things you can do to improve in the future.

The main things you can do is to answer the question by doing what it asks you to do. In this question you have been asked to ‘Discuss both views and give your own opinion.’ You have really only discussed one of the views. You need to make it really clear to the examiner that you have discussed both views by having a separate paragraph for each.

Your coherence will also improve if you use the structure I suggested above and you should also check out the structures for the other types of essay. I have included a link for this below.

Your cohesion is very good, but remember that you don’t need to start every sentence with a linking word, one or two per paragraph is enough.

Your vocabulary and grammar are your two biggest challenges. The quick way to fixing these is to follow the 100% rule I suggest above and if you want to fix these long term I would suggest the following:

1. Read books/blogs/magazines about the common IELTS Task 2 topics, such as Education, Health and Technology. Note down any new words in a vocabulary notebook as I suggested above and then review this regularly. It will take you a little while, but soon your vocabulary will really expand.

2. Find out what your common grammar mistakes are. Most people make the same grammar mistakes over and over again. When you know what these are, you can review the grammar rules, practice online and fix them.

If you can improve the things above, I am confident that you can increase your band score.

Suggested Resources

Paraphrases in IELTS/ Writing a Supporting Paragraph in IELTS/ How to Analyze IELTS Writing Task 2 IELTS Writing Conclusions IELTS Task 2 Essay Structures Common IELTS Task 2 Topics IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay Discussion

Do you need help with IELTS Writing? Try our IELTS Correction Service .

About Christopher Pell

My name is Christopher Pell and I'm the Managing Director of IELTS Advantage.

I started IELTS Advantage as a simple blog to help 16 students in my class. Several years later, I am very humbled that my VIP Course has been able to help thousands of people around the world to score a Band 7+ in their IELTS tests.

If you need my help with your IELTS preparation, you can send me an email using the contact us page.

How to Write a Band 6 Creative?

HSC Module B: Band 6 Notes on T.S. Eliot’s Poetry

Full mark band 6 creative writing sample.

• Uncategorized
• creative writing
• creative writing sample

Following on from our blog post on how to write creatives , this is a sample of a creative piece written in response to:

“Write a creative piece capturing a moment of tension. Select a theme from Module A, B or C as the basis of your story.”

The theme chosen was female autonomy from Kate Chopin’s The Awakening (Module C prescribed text).

This creative piece also took inspiration from Cate Kennedy’s Whirlpool .

Summer of 2001

For a moment, the momentum she gained galloping in the blossoming garden jolted, and she deflated like a balloon blown by someone suddenly out of breath. A half-smile, captured by the blinking shutter.

Out spluttered the monochrome snapshot. A bit crumpled. A little too bright.

Two dark brown braids, held by clips and bands and flowers, unruliness constrained. The duplicate of her figure came out in the Polaroid sheltered between a stoic masculine figure, and two younger ones just as unsmiling as their father. The mother stood like a storefront mannequin, the white pallor of her skin unblemished by her lurid maroon blush.

Father told the children that their mother was sick. That’s all. Having nightmares about their grandmother who left mother as a child. “Ran off,” he had said, and his nose twitched violently. “Left a family motherless, wifeless.”

I run, too, the girl had thought excitedly. When she ran, she could see the misty grey of the unyielding lamp-posts, and hear the same grunts and coos of pigeons unable to sing, melodies half-sang, half-dissonant. Why don’t they ever sing? Like the parrots and the cockatoos and lorikeets?

Out spluttered another photograph.

Void of the many distresses as analogous to adulthood, her face brimmed with childlike innocence, untroubled by the silhouettes of her father and brothers. 

Spring of 2012

“Can you take a picture for us?”

She was on the other side of the camera, and for a moment she was lost in a transitory evocation of her childhood. The soft blush of the children and the hardened faces of the adults. The forced tightness of their figures. They too looked happy, she supposed, amidst the golden sand and waves that wash the shore.

Away from the flippancy of clinking wine glasses and high-pitched gossip, she felt could almost hear the ticking seconds of each minute, each hour.

She returned the phone to the family.

How still they stood! The unmoving figures on the compact screen. A snapshot of the present that has instantaneously become the past. If only her childhood could extend infinitely to her present, and future, then she would again experience that luscious happiness that seemed to ebb with age. The warm embrace by her mother. The over-protectiveness of her father. How strange it was, to think that she had once avoided both.

But no matter.

She can’t return to the past. All she could do is reminisce about it. It was futile, she knew. The physician had told her so.

“Think about the present!” he had said. “You live too much in the past! Talk to your family! Your husband!”. After a glance at the confounded face, he added, “You grew up with caring brothers, I believe?”.

She nodded.

“Surely,” he elongated the word so that it extended into the unforeseeable future, “they must understand.”

No, they didn’t, she thought. Not after their Marmee left.

She remembered how perfect  her family had been, captured undyingly on that monochrome photograph. Her brothers and her, mother and father. Yes, what a perfect family. Oh, how the opened eye of the camera would watch apathetically as they fastened together, to perfection.

It all fell apart five weeks afterwards, as they listened her father’s monotonous voice reading the last remnant of their mother – a note declaring how their perfection had compromised her, been too stifling, just as that Summer’s humidity had been. Wasn’t that what it meant to be a family, she had thought, to let give you to others willingly for the happiness of the entire family?

Absentmindedly, the grown woman picked up a bayberry branch and drew circles upon circles on the siliceous shore. Where it touched, the sand darkened and lightened again as the water rose.

The ultimatum of my life, she proposed to herself, a rebellious dive at sea! Amused by her dramatism, she continued to muse. How simple it would be, washed away and never coming back. Her family now was perfect enough. Big house. Big car. Big parties. Big dreams. But happiness? She thought of the riot of colour and flashing cameras that her husband loved. Oh, how they caused her migraines! And his insistence for her to abandon those childhood passions of hers, strolling amidst sunny afternoons amidst the greenery, only embody their “Marmee” and his “Honey”. How ridiculous!

Her hand halted to a stop.

For a fleeting moment, the continuum of her oblivion terminated, the angular momentum her hand gained by drawing those perfect circles on the shore jolted. She inflated with the sudden realisation of what she had written on the sand.

Short, and incomplete without the usual Jennings that followed it. But her name nonetheless.

Yes, those ephemeral imprints of her name will be washed away by the infinite rise and fall of the tide. But she still watched. So that when the present became the past, she would still have a snapshot in her memory to hold on to.

She knew she could not go, just like her name. Into the ocean and never come back. She could not possibly go like her mother, who when she was eleven, left a family without a mother and husband without a wife. She could not possibly go like her mother, who left a daughter crushed by the milliseconds of perfection that succumbs so soon after the click of a camera.

With a long sigh, she turned back and the sea becoming a reverberating picture of her past. Intangible, yet outrageously glorious…

11th March, 2015

The mother, on her phone, manicured fingernails swiping the screen absentmindedly. Across the room, the father looked concerned at both the inattentiveness of his wife and the sounds of clanking metal emanating from the cameramen.

“We’re ready, Mrs Jennings,” said one of them, “Please get into position for the family photo!”

The opened eye of the camera watched as the family fastened itself together, the rosy-cheeked daughter and son, the unison of the family creating the epitome of perfection. They smiled vibrant smiles, posed jovially at the flashing lights.

But immediately after the click of the shutters, they all fell apart, insubstantial as a wish.

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