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Why happiness is a choice (and 8 ways you can choose it today) 

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Yes, happiness is a choice and not a result of achievements or purchases. Learn how to maintain your happy vibe with these eight tips from Calvin Holbrook .

As editor of this happiness magazine , you'd be forgiven for thinking that I leap out of bed each morning after a restful sleep with a grin on my face, full of great intentions for the day ahead. Not so! Indeed, for the main part, for me, happiness is a choice rather than my natural state of being.

In fact, like all of us, I’m not happy all the time (let’s face it, that would just be weird ). In reality, for me, authentic happiness doesn't signify a lack of negative feelings such as sadness and pain, but an ability to experience a wide spectrum of emotions while managing to appreciate – and stay focused on – the positive things that I do have in my life.

According to psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, roughly 50 per cent of our natural happiness level is genetically determined (our so-called happiness set point). I believe my own happiness set point started out lower down the scale, but, with work, I’ve managed to boost it because – over time and consistently – I’ve made the choice to be happy, even when my life circumstances and situation were telling me otherwise.  

Choosing to be happy is a constant effort, and to be honest, it’s not something that comes naturally. In fact, I’ve had to train myself to think happy. Indeed, like millions of us, I’ve struggled with periods of depression and anxiety, had to live with periods of debilitating panic attacks or episodes of rumination that have beaten my mental health and happiness down.  

Along the way, I’ve learned that these problems should not define me or my mood. Indeed, I can still see happiness as a choice, but it requires focus and effort to stay positive (and, of course, professional help or medication when appropriate).  

Happiness fuels success, not vice versa

Most people go through life thinking that happiness is something that happens to them as a result of success or something good happening, for example, getting a pay rise or getting 100 new likes on their latest Instagram post. Indeed, large parts of the population don’t realize that happiness is a choice, and instead go through the motions in life, waiting for joy to pop up and slap them in the face!  

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In fact, I believe the root to happiness is in the work you put into it. You have to commit to being happy, prioritize it, focus on it, and remain disciplined as much as possible, even in those dark and difficult days – especially on those dark days!

If happiness is a choice, how can I work on it?  

It sounds staggering, but it’s reported that we make around 35,000 remotely conscious decisions every single day . From seemingly inconsequential stuff about choosing what to eat and what clothes to wear, to bigger things like who to love, how to spend our free time, whether to move city or quit the job we feel stuck in.  

Some of our choices turn out to be great and others not so. What they have in common though is that all of these choices are based in our deep desire to be happy.   These choices make up part of our ‘life activity’. As mentioned earlier, genetics make up roughly half of happiness levels. The remainder depends on our circumstances (10 per cent) and this so-called ‘life activity’ (40 per cent).  

"Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy.”  Ralph Marston

While we cannot always control our circumstances, we do have more control over our life activity. And if that life activity is said to be responsible for almost 40 per cent of our happiness, we can focus on making better choices here to increase our happiness levels. In fact, we can even make choosing happiness as one life choice!

OK, I hear what you might be thinking: all of this is easier said than done. Life is tough. Shit happens. Stuff gets in the way. True, there are many challenging things that we will experience in life and we know that the only certainty is change, so we will always face upheavals. This doesn't mean that all of life is bad, it just means that life is not easy. But happiness does not come from your circumstances or your situation. Happiness comes from a choice that you make within.

Learning how to choose happiness

I’ve had to train my brain to choose happiness, even when my circumstances suggested the opposite. I believe I’ve boosted my natural happiness set point by carrying out specific ‘feel happier’ activities. If you're struggling to find the root of happiness, incorporate these eight science-backed tips into your daily life and you may start to feel happier. Stick at it, put in the hard work, and you should see results.  

1. Choose gratitude and look on the bright side  

No matter how bad life seems, there’s always something positive you can find to focus on. It could be the fact you have a place to live, friends and family that love you, have clothes to wear, or even that you have eyes to see and legs to walk with.  There are millions of people in the world that don't have some of these things. 

RELATED: 5 benefits of gratitude practice  

Since happiness is a choice, start finding things in your life that you're grateful for. It could also be seemingly small, general things that we often take for granted, such as the smell of cut grass, the sound of the ocean, etc. Writing these things down in a gratitude journal helps to solidify your happiness further. Try jotting down three good things about every day: studies have shown that doing this increases optimism, reduces anxiety, and chemically changes the brain to be more positive.

2. Choose to think positively

Try to live by the ‘every cloud has a silver lining’ anecdote. Focusing on positive thoughts and trying to reducing negative thinking is easier said than done, but give the following technique a try. Each time you have a negative thought, simply replace it with a positive one. This practice will help to retrain your habitual thought patterns to bring more positive thoughts and happiness into your life.

Changing perspective on your situation will help you find happiness. If you’ve made a mistake – however big – try to focus on your past achievements instead, actually visualizing your previous successes and happy times.  

3. Choose to smile

Turn that frown upside down! One of the most important figures in the fields of mindfulness and meditation, Thích Nhất Hạnh once wrote, “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”’  

Indeed, studies have shown that smiling and other external expressions work as a continual feedback loop, helping to reinforce our internal emotions. A study by scientists at the University of Kansas found that making yourself smile can help lower your heart rate during stressful activities. So, smiling even when we feel down will gradually makes us feel happier (and healthier). Try smiling at strangers, too: as well as being a choice, happiness is also contagious.

4. Choose kindness

When you choose to do kinds acts for other people, so-called happiness hormones are released, boosting your serotonin, the neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of well-being and satisfaction. Endorphin levels also rise, leading to a phenomenon known as a 'helper’s high’.  

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Another physical benefit of kindness is that it can help to lower anxiety . Social anxiety is associated with low positive affect (PA), which relates to an individual’s experience of positive moods such as joy, interest, and alertness. A four-week study on happiness from the University of British Columbia found that participants who engaged in kind acts displayed major increases in their PA levels that were maintained during the study duration.  

5. Choose meaningful relationships/interactions

Research shows that happier people have rewarding social relationships . Indeed, we humans are a social species and need regular contact. In fact, loneliness is proven to decrease levels of happiness and recent studies show it can be as harmful to mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day . So, to make a happiness a choice, choose quality friendships . In fact, even a short positive interaction with a stranger can contribute to you feeling happier.  

6. Choose to be more mindful

Mindfulness meditation is an easy way to try to increase your happiness levels. Start your day with just 10-15 minutes of meditation , shortly after waking: the immediate heightened inner clarity and focus it will give you will set you up for what’s ahead.

Many studies have shown that mediation can boost happiness levels by reducing stress hormones, shrinking the part of the brain that controls anxiety, and by stopping rumination , amongst other things.  

“No matter how bad life seems, there’s always something positive you can find to focus on. Since happiness is a choice, start finding things in your life that you’re grateful for.”

And, according to Psychology Today , meditation is the strongest mental practice that has the power to reset your happiness set point, thus turning you into a more joyful person and literally rewiring major areas in your brain so you can feel happier.

7. Choose a purpose

Meaningfulness is a happy factor that you can extend into your whole life. Whether it's volunteering , gardening , or becoming politically active, activities with a purpose have been shown to boost people's happiness and reduce stress levels at the same time. A study from the Annals of Behavioral Medicine found that people who took part in such activities became 34 per cent less stressed and 18 per cent less sad.  

8. Choose to be satisfied

In fact, data from a 2010 survey of 19,000 Europeans showed that those who compared their incomes to others were less happy with what they had. The comparisons that were most damaging to happiness were when people compared their incomes to those of school and university friends (even though we know that money can’t buy happiness , right?) Choose to be satisfied with what you have and stop comparing your life to that of others: reduce the time you spend scrolling through social media.  

Conclusions: why happiness is a choice

Abraham Lincoln is famously quoted as saying, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” And he was right. Happiness is a choice but also a daily practice that requires time, effort and dedication. By carrying out our suggestions above, you should hopefully start to see some benefits. But, if you still fail to feel happy, take time to think through your actions. Are you doing the things you need to choose happiness or are you letting your emotions take control?

If you’re trying to feel happier and you remain down or struggling with depression , consult with your GP or therapist to seek professional help. Happiness is a choice and choosing help is a also a great step to getting started if you’re feeling blocked.   •

Choosing happiness becomes easier when you have the right tools to help you. Sign up free to happiness.com today to access our online Academy and share and support others in our forums. 

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Written by Calvin Holbrook

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Posted March 22, 2023

I don't think happiness is a choice all of the time, for example if you are in the middle of a hurricane or if you are say, on fire.  Can you just choose to be happy if you are on fire ?   The world in not a nice place, bad things happen all of the time and you can just go around being Happy, happy, happy all of the time and if you do then something is wrong, there are times to be sad.

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Posted December 9, 2022

I think saying "happiness is a choice" is a complete oversimplification that leads to toxic positivity. I am a naturally hopeful and optimistic person but we all go through ups and downs in life and we go through traumas. If we automatically choose to flip a switch and be happy then it leads to spiritual bypassing and suppressing our deeper feelings so they fester in the subconscious. For those unable to flip the switch so easily, it can lead to feelings of shame, guilt and self hatred. I would love to see anyone happy when they have the flu. If happiness is a choice then you could be vomiting your brains out with a smile on your face. We can't oversimplify these things and turn them into slogans as it is unhealthy for the collective. It is always good to learn positive psychology and gain tools to turn to when you are able to shift your mindset, but there are always situations in life that you need to allow yourself to have ALL of the feelings that arise so you can process, learn, and grow from them. 

Posted August 20, 2022

Happiness isn't a choice. Happiness is fleeting and based on external circumstance. Joy is our natural state and is so much more than happiness.

We can choose joy by not choosing to identify with anything less.  

Posted October 4, 2021

The article is great and inspiring! Starting today, I'm consciously putting on my rose-coloured glasses in the morning and going into the new day unprejudiced and unencumbered. Because I often find myself taking yesterday's worries, fears and anxieties with me into today. Of course, these worries don't just disappear overnight, but if I allow negative feelings and thoughts from yesterday first thing in the morning, then it's almost clear that this is not going to be a happy day. And it is indeed the case that we can be actively happy. Happiness rarely falls from the sky, but each of us carries our own little happiness kitchen inside us. And with a positive basic feeling, yesterday's worries don't blow up unnecessarily, but are just little monsters that we can easily drive away. And one catchy tune that I immediately had in my head when I read this article stands for this homemade happiness in particular: "Always look on the bright side of life" (di dup di dup di dup di dup) :)

Posted January 21, 2021

To say that happiness is a choice always sounds too easy to me. It is! But it may be different for everyone. The main point here is, that everyone needs to be present all time to remind himself what is all about and not getting stuck with negative events that are going on and keep those past memories repeating and repeating all the time. That's not easy if you are not aware of it, but a great lesson to learn!

Posted December 30, 2020

Of course, happiness is totally a choice. Throughout our lives bad stuff is going to happen - no escaping it I'm afraid - so the earlier you realise you can try not to let negative things destroy your joy, the better. Even through pain, grief, COVID, ill health, I have tried to look on the bright side and it really does make a difference. This too will pass. Choose to be happy. Always!  ?

Posted November 12, 2020

A lot of us really don’t understand what being happy truly means. But, I would say happiness is self Acceptance. As we begin to grow and get older, we start to understand a fulfilling life is one in which we are unregretfully happy. This article was really helpful. please follow the link bellow for more.   https://www.wisdom4living.net/master-the-act-of-happiness/

Posted October 21, 2020

I really enjoyed reading this article, and I couldn't agree more ?   I definitely believe that happiness is a choice, but that doesn't mean it's always easy. 

We choose how we react to things, how we respond, and what we spend time and energy on - and sometimes it's difficult to change those things. I know people who let a smaller negative incident ruin their whole day - missing the bus, a problem at work, blisters from their shoes and so on. It becomes that whole day, and is something that takes up enough space in their head that it also needs to be shared with everyone. It's tempting to tell them that happiness is a choice - so choose it ? haha but it's about actively working on yourself and making these changes in your mindset. 

Posted October 20, 2020

I have a little anecdote that might fit. When I went for a swim in the summer, I was still wearing my sunglasses - the "good" ones with prescription because otherwise, I do not get to enjoy the view of the coastline. So I walk into the waves, and sure enough, the first wave gets me, and my sunglasses are gone. I keep swimming aware of the anger, blame, frustration and what not rising and I calm myself with breathing, swimming and telling myself that being upset won't bring them back. I still got a little upset, but mostly I very deliberately chose happiness.

So after a refreshing swim, I walk out of the sea, and the shades are sitting there on the beach right where I am coming out of the water. The strong waves washed them up there—what a lovely moment. If I had stayed angry with myself and the sea, I might not have had the patience to see them sitting there. And if I would have found them getting mad in the first place would have been even more of a waste of time.

So I also think happiness is a choice though it won't necessarily bring the sunglasses back; it can give us a more positive attitude in difficult situations.

Posted August 12, 2020

I have to agree that happiness is a choice. For the longest time, I thought it was the destination. I thought happiness is what we achieve when we get what we want, or things work out in our favour. I thought success, popularity and material possessions brought joy and happiness. Boy was I wrong! ? I know now that happiness is a daily choice, attainable when we believe in ourselves, have a positive attitude and outlook on life, and have a daily gratitude and meditation practice. At least that's what works for me ?

Posted October 2, 2019

4 hours ago, Calvin77 said: Hey @Joyce  Yes! Self-love and compassion also very important. What is your preferred meditation style?

I started off doing meditation in my yoga class but was always judgmental of myself for my 'monkey mind' . Recently I have done a lot of different guided meditations, and I especially like the teaching of Goren Thubten, very down to earth and practical.

Calvin77 1,341

22 hours ago, Joyce said: Interesting article Calvin and I do agree with everything you say. However I would also add that happiness comes from within ourselves and in order to find that we have to learn to love ourself. Through meditation we can become our authentic self and even with all our faults we can find the peace and joy which brings happiness. 

Posted October 1, 2019

Interesting article Calvin and I do agree with everything you say. However I would also add that happiness comes from within ourselves and in order to find that we have to learn to love ourself. Through meditation we can become our authentic self and even with all our faults we can find the peace and joy which brings happiness. 

Posted May 16, 2019

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Happiness.com » Magazine » PERSONAL GROWTH » Why happiness is a choice (and 8 ways you can choose it today) 

This I Believe: Happiness Is a Choice

I believe that everybody can be happy. I do not mean that I blame people who are unhappy for their unhappiness. However, I do blame myself if I am unhappy. I know that I can choose to be happy. Not everybody knows this. You have to know that you control how you feel and how you react to everything around you to be in control. It is like the rules about sin in the Catholic Church. To sin, you have to know that what you do is a sin. You have to do it willingly and it has to actually be a sin. So, kicking dirt on the sidewalk will never actually be a sin.

But happiness is even more under your control because it is you that decides what makes you happy. What makes you happy is the first thing you have to find out. If you do not know what will make you happy then you can never have it. It is a value system and you decide what is valuable. Now it would be silly or stupid to pick something that you can never have or never do or never be to make you happy. Maybe that would mean that you like being unhappy. There are people like that.

Now another important thing is how you take things that happen. I was told as a young child to control how I express my emotions, especially anger. I was taught that I should positively express my anger. I was never much good at that. But nobody told me that I could choose how to feel. I do not mean that I never get angry or never get sad. I just do not stay that way. I make sure that I look at it and decide it is not worth being sad or angry about. It was one thing that happened that changed me, and I will never forget it.

I had a really good friend who had a really nice mp3 player. I could not afford one. I was much younger then and MP3 players were very expensive. My friend left it at my house and I did not call and tell him he left it. In fact, when he asked I lied and said I had not seen it. The next week he had another one, but not as nice to replace it. I wanted to tell him he left his at my house, but I just couldn’t. I would listen to it at night and never say anything about it. I was ashamed and worried that he would know I took it. I started to avoid him because I felt so guilty. Finally, after school one day, I ran up and I gave it back and told him what I did. He said I could have it. I said no I could not take it. Then he said that I must have wanted it very very much to have done that, and it never made him that happy, so I should have it.

I asked him why he was not even angry, and I learned from him that people, especially friends and family really do not want to hurt each other. They are just reacting to their own pain or need. He said he talked to his Dad, who is a counselor, and he said that I felt bad, because I did not have enough money to buy the MP3 player. If I felt so bad that I would take it and hurt my friend, then I must feel really bad. So he said he could not be hurt when I never intended to hurt him. The player really was not important to him, and he really was glad when I tried to give it back because we could still be friends.

After that, we talked a lot and we figured out that we can choose to be happy instead of hurt or mad. We both decided to be happy for the rest of our lives. We are still friends and I still have the MP3 player to remind me that I can always choose to be happy.

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IvyPanda. (2023, November 24). This I Believe: Happiness Is a Choice. https://ivypanda.com/essays/this-i-believe-happiness-is-a-choice/

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IvyPanda . "This I Believe: Happiness Is a Choice." November 24, 2023. https://ivypanda.com/essays/this-i-believe-happiness-is-a-choice/.

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Happiness is a Choice: Embrace Joy and Transform Your Life

Happiness is a choice. It’s a statement that may seem oversimplified or even cliché, but it holds a profound truth. In our pursuit of happiness, we often look for external factors to bring us joy – success, money, and relationships. However, true and lasting happiness stems from within ourselves.

When we realize that happiness is not dependent on external circumstances but rather on how we choose to perceive and react to those circumstances, a world of possibilities opens up. We have the power to shape our own reality and find contentment in every moment. It’s about cultivating a positive mindset and embracing gratitude for what we have.

Choosing happiness doesn’t mean ignoring life’s challenges or pretending everything is perfect. It means consciously shifting our focus towards the things that bring us joy and fulfillment. By taking responsibility for our own emotional well-being and adopting practices like mindfulness, self-care, and positive thinking, we can create a foundation for genuine happiness that withstands the ups and downs of life.

So remember my friends: Happiness is not something you wait for; it’s something you choose. Start today by making conscious decisions to prioritize your well-being and seek out the beauty in each day. You hold the key to your own happiness – embrace it with open arms.

The Power of Positive Thinking

When it comes to happiness, the power of positive thinking cannot be underestimated. The way we think has a profound impact on our overall well-being and outlook on life. By shifting our mindset towards positivity, we have the ability to transform our experiences and create a more joyful existence. Let’s delve into why positive thinking is so powerful.

• Improved Mental Health: A positive mindset can significantly improve mental health by reducing stress, anxiety, and depression. When we focus on the good in our lives and approach challenges with optimism, we cultivate resilience and develop coping mechanisms that allow us to navigate difficult situations with greater ease.
• Enhanced Relationships: Positivity radiates outwardly, affecting not only ourselves but also those around us. By adopting a positive attitude, we attract like-minded individuals and foster healthier relationships based on trust, support, and kindness. Our optimistic outlook can inspire others and create an uplifting environment where everyone thrives.
• Increased Productivity: Positive thinking fuels motivation and productivity. When we believe in ourselves and maintain an optimistic perspective, we are more likely to set ambitious goals and work diligently towards achieving them. This proactive approach leads to greater success in both personal and professional endeavors.
• Better Physical Health: Surprisingly, positive thinking can have physical health benefits as well. Research shows that individuals with a positive mindset tend to have stronger immune systems, lower blood pressure levels, improved cardiovascular health, better pain tolerance, and even increased longevity.
• Resilience in Adversity: Life is filled with ups and downs; however, maintaining a positive mindset helps us bounce back from setbacks more quickly. It allows us to view challenges as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles. With each hurdle overcome through positivity, our resilience strengthens further.
• Attracting Abundance: The law of attraction suggests that what we focus on expands in our lives. By consistently cultivating positive thoughts and beliefs, we align ourselves with abundance, attracting more opportunities, success, and happiness. It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy – the more positivity we embrace, the more positivity we attract.

In conclusion, the power of positive thinking lies in its ability to transform our lives on multiple levels. By adopting an optimistic mindset and consciously choosing to focus on the good, we can improve our mental and physical health, strengthen relationships, increase productivity, build resilience in adversity, and attract abundance into our lives. So why not embrace positivity and see the amazing impact it can have? Remember, happiness is a choice – choose wisely!

Practicing Gratitude Daily

When it comes to happiness, one powerful practice that can make a significant difference is practicing gratitude daily. Cultivating a mindset of gratitude allows us to shift our focus from what’s lacking in our lives to the abundance and blessings that surround us. It’s about appreciating the simple things, expressing thanks for both big and small moments, and recognizing the positive aspects of each day.

So how exactly can we incorporate gratitude into our daily lives? Here are a few examples:

• Start a gratitude journal: Take a few minutes each day to jot down three things you are grateful for. They could be as simple as savoring your morning cup of coffee, receiving an unexpected act of kindness, or enjoying a beautiful sunset. Writing them down helps reinforce the positive emotions associated with those experiences.
• Practice mindfulness: Being fully present in the moment allows us to appreciate the little joys that often go unnoticed. Engage your senses by savoring the taste of your meal, feeling the warmth of sunlight on your skin, or listening intently to the sounds around you. Mindfulness helps us connect with gratitude in everyday moments.
• Show appreciation to others: Take time to express genuine appreciation for those around you – be it friends, family members, colleagues, or even strangers who have made a positive impact on your life. A heartfelt compliment or a simple thank-you note can brighten someone’s day while also deepening your own sense of gratitude.
• Find silver linings: Life is full of ups and downs, but even during challenging times, there are often hidden blessings or lessons learned that we can be grateful for. By reframing negative situations and focusing on the positives within them, we can cultivate resilience and find strength in adversity.
• Practice random acts of kindness: Doing something kind for others not only brings joy to their lives but also fills our own hearts with gratitude. Whether it’s volunteering at a local charity, helping a neighbor in need, or surprising a loved one with a small gesture of kindness, acts of service allow us to experience the joy of giving and deepen our gratitude for what we have.

Incorporating these practices into our daily routine can help us develop an attitude of gratitude that positively impacts our overall well-being. Remember, happiness is not just a destination but also a journey that starts with embracing gratitude every day.

Cultivating Healthy Relationships

When it comes to happiness, one of the key factors is the quality of our relationships . Building and maintaining healthy relationships can contribute significantly to our overall well-being. Here are a few examples of how we can cultivate strong and fulfilling connections with others:

• Effective Communication: Open and honest communication is essential for any relationship to thrive. Taking the time to actively listen, express ourselves clearly, and show empathy can foster trust and understanding. By being present in conversations and avoiding assumptions, we create an environment where both parties feel heard and valued.
• Quality Time Together: In our fast-paced lives, spending meaningful time with loved ones often takes a backseat. However, making an effort to prioritize quality time is crucial for nurturing healthy relationships. Whether it’s scheduling regular date nights, family dinners, or outings with friends, carving out dedicated moments strengthens bonds and creates lasting memories.
• Mutual Support: Supporting each other through both joys and challenges is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Being there for someone during difficult times builds trust and deepens connection. Celebrating achievements together also fosters a sense of shared happiness and reinforces the importance of mutual support.
• Resolving Conflicts Constructively: Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship; what matters is how we handle them. Instead of resorting to personal attacks or withdrawing from discussions, finding constructive ways to resolve conflicts promotes growth within the relationship. Active listening, seeking compromise, and practicing forgiveness can help navigate disagreements while preserving the bond.
• Cultivating Independence: While healthy relationships thrive on interdependence, fostering individuality within those connections is equally important. Encouraging personal growth by pursuing individual interests allows each person to bring their unique fulfillment into the partnership without losing themselves in it.

By implementing these strategies into our relationships, we can create an environment that nurtures happiness for all involved parties. Remember that cultivating healthy relationships requires consistent effort from both sides, but the rewards are immeasurable.

Finding Meaning and Purpose in Life

When it comes to finding meaning and purpose in life, I’ve come to realize that it’s a deeply personal and individual journey. What brings fulfillment to one person may not resonate with another. However, there are some universal principles and practices that can help guide us towards discovering our own unique path.

Here are a few examples of how we can find meaning and purpose in life:

• Pursuing our passions: One way to infuse our lives with purpose is by identifying our passions and pursuing them wholeheartedly. Whether it’s writing, painting, cooking, or playing an instrument, engaging in activities that ignite our inner spark brings a sense of fulfillment like no other. Taking the time to explore what truly excites us can lead us down a fulfilling path.
• Nurturing meaningful relationships: Human connection plays a vital role in finding meaning in life. Building deep and authentic relationships with family, friends, or even within communities allows us to share experiences, support each other through challenges, and create lasting memories. These connections provide a sense of belonging and give us a greater sense of purpose.
• Helping others: Altruism has been proven time and again as an effective way to find meaning in life. Engaging in acts of kindness or volunteering for causes close to our hearts not only benefits others but also fills our own souls with immense joy and satisfaction. Small gestures like helping someone cross the street or donating clothes can make a world of difference both for ourselves and those we assist.
• Seeking personal growth: Constantly striving for self-improvement is another avenue toward finding meaning in life. Setting goals, learning new skills, challenging ourselves intellectually or physically – these pursuits push us beyond our comfort zones and provide opportunities for growth and self-discovery.
• Embracing gratitude: Cultivating an attitude of gratitude allows us to appreciate the present moment while acknowledging the blessings we already have. Taking time each day to reflect on the things we are grateful for can shift our perspective and help us find meaning in even the simplest of joys.

Finding meaning and purpose in life is an ongoing journey, and it may take time to discover what truly resonates with us. It’s important to remember that our paths will be unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. By exploring our passions, nurturing relationships, helping others, seeking personal growth, and embracing gratitude, we can embark on a fulfilling quest toward finding meaning and purpose in our lives.

Embracing Self-Care and Mindfulness

When it comes to happiness being a choice , one crucial aspect is the practice of self-care and mindfulness. Taking care of ourselves both physically and mentally plays a significant role in our overall well-being. Let’s delve into this concept further and explore how embracing self-care and mindfulness can contribute to a happier life.

• Prioritizing Your Well-being: In the hustle and bustle of daily life , it’s easy to neglect our own needs. However, making time for self-care is essential for maintaining balance and achieving happiness. This can include engaging in activities that bring you joy, whether it’s reading a book, taking a long bath, or going for a peaceful walk in nature. By prioritizing your well-being, you’re sending yourself the message that you deserve happiness.
• Cultivating Mindfulness: Mindfulness refers to being fully present in the current moment without judgment. It involves paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, sensations, and surroundings with curiosity and acceptance. Practicing mindfulness allows us to detach from negative thought patterns and focus on what truly matters. It helps reduce stress levels, enhance self-awareness, improve concentration, and boost overall mental clarity – all contributing factors to finding happiness within ourselves.
• Nurturing Positive Relationships: Another vital aspect of self-care involves nurturing positive relationships with others. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends and loved ones creates an environment where you feel valued, understood, and loved. These connections provide emotional support during challenging times while also offering opportunities for laughter, sharing experiences, and creating lasting memories – all vital ingredients for leading a happy life.
• Setting Boundaries: Part of practicing self-care is setting healthy boundaries in various areas of our lives – be it work-life balance or personal relationships. Setting limits enables us to protect our energy reserves by saying no when necessary or carving out designated time for ourselves without guilt or hesitation.
• Engaging in Self-Reflection: Taking the time to reflect on our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors can be a powerful tool for personal growth and happiness. Through self-reflection, we gain insights into our own patterns, strengths, and areas that need improvement. This process allows us to make conscious choices aligned with our values and desires, leading to a more fulfilling life.

Remember that embracing self-care and mindfulness is an ongoing journey rather than a destination. It requires consistent effort and dedication but has the potential to transform your life for the better. By prioritizing your well-being, cultivating mindfulness, nurturing positive relationships, setting boundaries, and engaging in self-reflection, you’ll create a solid foundation for choosing happiness every day.

Letting Go of Negativity and Forgiveness

When it comes to happiness, one crucial step is letting go of negativity and embracing forgiveness. It’s easier said than done, but by making a conscious choice to release negative emotions and forgive those who have wronged us, we can experience a profound shift in our overall well-being.

• Release the Weight of Grudges: Holding onto grudges only weighs us down emotionally and mentally. Instead of allowing anger and resentment to fester within us, we can choose to let go. By forgiving others, we free ourselves from the burden of carrying around negative emotions that hinder our happiness. Remember, forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning the actions; it’s about releasing ourselves from the grip of bitterness.
• Embrace Positivity: Negativity tends to breed more negativity, leading to a never-ending cycle that keeps us stuck in unhappiness. Choosing positivity means actively seeking out positive experiences, thoughts, and interactions. Surround yourself with uplifting people who inspire you and engage in activities that bring you joy. By consciously cultivating positivity in your life, you’ll find it easier to let go of negativity.
• Practice Self-Compassion: It’s important not only to forgive others but also ourselves. We all make mistakes; it’s part of being human. Be kind to yourself when you stumble or fall short of expectations. Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding you would offer a dear friend facing similar challenges. By practicing self-compassion, we create an environment where forgiveness can flourish.
• Focus on Growth: Rather than dwelling on past hurts or negative experiences, shift your focus towards personal growth and learning opportunities presented by difficult situations. Every setback offers valuable lessons if we’re willing to learn from them. By reframing our perspective and seeing challenges as stepping stones for growth, we empower ourselves to move forward with resilience.
• Remember That Forgiveness is a Choice: Forgiveness is not an event but a continuous process. It might take time, effort, and self-reflection to genuinely let go of negativity and forgive. Remember that it’s a choice you make for your own well-being. By prioritizing forgiveness, we create space for happiness to thrive in our lives.

In conclusion, letting go of negativity and embracing forgiveness are essential steps on the path to happiness. By releasing grudges, embracing positivity, practicing self-compassion, focusing on growth, and making forgiveness a deliberate choice, we can free ourselves from the shackles of negativity and open ourselves up to a more fulfilling and joyful life.

Overcoming Challenges with Resilience

When it comes to facing challenges, resilience is the key ingredient that can make all the difference. It’s about bouncing back from setbacks, adapting to change, and finding strength in the face of adversity. In this section, we’ll explore some real-life examples of individuals who have overcome challenges with resilience.

• Finding New Opportunities in Job Loss Losing a job can be a devastating experience, but resilient individuals see it as an opportunity for growth and reinvention. Take Sarah, for instance. After being laid off from her long-time position at a company due to downsizing, she didn’t let disappointment hold her back. Instead, she used the setback as motivation to pursue her passion for writing and started freelancing as a content creator. Through determination and adaptability, Sarah not only found financial stability but also discovered a career path that brought her fulfillment.
• Rebuilding after Natural Disasters Natural disasters can leave communities shattered and lives upended. However, resilient individuals come together to rebuild their homes and livelihoods even stronger than before. Consider the case of Mike and Lisa, whose house was destroyed by a hurricane. Despite losing everything they owned overnight, they rallied support from friends and neighbors to start anew. With unwavering determination and community spirit, they managed to rebuild their home while also becoming advocates for disaster preparedness in their neighborhood.
• Overcoming Personal Health Challenges Facing health challenges can test one’s resilience on many levels – physical, emotional, and mental. Meet Alex, who was diagnosed with a chronic illness at a young age but refused to let it define his life or limit his aspirations. He embarked on an arduous journey of self-care, which included lifestyle changes such as adopting a healthier diet and engaging in regular exercise routines tailored to his condition. By embracing these changes head-on and seeking support through therapy groups, Alex not only managed his condition effectively but also inspired others facing similar health challenges.
• Rising Above Financial Struggles Financial hardships can be overwhelming, but resilient individuals find ways to rise above their circumstances and create a better future. Jane, a single mother of two, faced significant financial struggles after losing her job and going through a divorce. However, she refused to let despair consume her. With resourcefulness and determination, Jane sought out government assistance programs, enrolled in skill-building courses, and eventually secured stable employment that allowed her to provide for her family’s needs.
• Navigating Relationship Hurdles Relationships can bring both joy and challenges into our lives. Resilient individuals approach relationship hurdles with open communication, empathy, and the willingness to work things out. Take Mark and Emily as an example. They faced a rough patch in their marriage due to communication breakdowns and conflicting priorities. Instead of giving up on their relationship, they sought couples therapy, where they learned effective communication techniques and developed strategies for resolving conflicts constructively. Through their commitment to growth as individuals and as a couple, they managed to strengthen their bond.

These examples illustrate how resilience plays a vital role in overcoming various types of challenges we face throughout life. By embracing resilience as a choice, we can cultivate the mindset necessary to navigate obstacles with grace, adaptability, and strength.

Nurturing a Growth Mindset for Happiness

In order to cultivate happiness, it is essential to adopt and nurture a growth mindset. A growth mindset is the belief that our abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and effort. Embracing this mindset allows us to see challenges as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles to our happiness. Here are three examples of how we can nurture a growth mindset for happiness:

• Embrace Learning Opportunities: Rather than shying away from new experiences or avoiding unfamiliar territory, seek out opportunities to learn and grow. This could involve taking up a new hobby, enrolling in an online course, or simply stepping outside of your comfort zone. By embracing these learning opportunities, we expand our knowledge base and develop new skills, which can contribute greatly to our overall sense of fulfillment and happiness.
• Practice Self-Reflection: Taking the time for self-reflection is crucial for personal growth and cultivating a positive mindset. Reflecting on our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors allows us to identify areas where we may be holding ourselves back or engaging in negative patterns of thinking. Through self-reflection, we can challenge limiting beliefs and replace them with more empowering perspectives that promote happiness and well-being.
• Embrace Failure as Feedback: Failure is often viewed as something negative or discouraging; however, adopting a growth mindset means reframing failure as valuable feedback rather than a reflection of one’s worth or abilities. Instead of dwelling on mistakes or setbacks, embrace them as opportunities for learning and improvement. By viewing failure through this lens, we open ourselves up to greater resilience and perseverance in the face of challenges – both vital components in achieving long-term happiness.

Remember that nurturing a growth mindset takes time and practice – it’s not something that happens overnight. By intentionally incorporating these strategies into your life on a consistent basis, you’ll gradually cultivate a more positive outlook on yourself and the world around you – leading to increased happiness and overall well-being.

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What You Were Taught About “Happiness” Isn’t True

• Penny Locaso

It’s not an end goal. It’s a mindset.

Most of us believe that if we tick a series of boxes (great job, fancy car, etc.,) we will arrive at success and live happily every after. But happiness isn’t a destination.

• The reality is that the concept of happiness us, in fact, flawed.
• Based on research, author Penny Locaso came up with a new definition of happiness and derived how intentional adaptability plays a big role in reaching a state of fulfillment.
• She has identified three primary skills to become more adaptable: focus, courage, and curiosity.

Where your work meets your life. See more from Ascend here .

Most of us are led to believe that happiness is a final destination — one that can be reached if we make the right choices, learn from our mistakes, and keep pushing forward. We are taught that, once we finally find it, we’ll be forever satisfied in our lives, and so we live feeling overwhelmed and inadequate, chasing this dream, never stopping to question if it is, in fact, flawed.

• Penny Locaso is an international keynote speaker, educational innovator, and the author of Hacking Happiness. Voted one of the most influential female entrepreneurs in Australia Penny is the world’s first Happiness Hacker, on a mission to teach 10 million humans, by 2025, how to intentionally adapt in order to futureproof happiness.

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Essays About Happiness: 5 Essay Examples and 6 Writing Prompts

Being happy and content is essential to living a successful life. If you are writing essays about happiness, start by reading our helpful guide.

Whenever we feel positive emotions rushing through our heads, chances are we are feeling happy. Happiness is what you feel when you enter the house, the smell of your favorite food being cooked or when you finally save up enough money to buy something you’ve wanted. It is an undeniably magical feeling. 

Happiness can do wonders for your productivity and well-being; when you are happy, you are more energetic, optimistic, and motivated. So it is, without a doubt, important. However, do not become caught up in trying to be happy, as this may lead to worse problems. Instead, allow yourself to feel your emotions; be authentic, even if that means feeling a little more negative.

5 Top Essay Examples

1. causes of happiness by otis curtis, 2. how to be happy by tara parker-pope, 3. reflections on ‘happiness’ by shahzada sultan.

• 4.  Happiness is Overrated by John Gorman

5. Toxic positivity by Suhani Mahajan

6 prompts for essays about happiness, 1. why is it important to be happy, 2. what is happiness to you, 3. the role of material things in happiness, 4. how does happiness make you more productive, 5. is true happiness achievable, 6. happiness vs. truth.

“If you don’t feel good about yourself you will have a similarly negative attitude towards others and education is one way of having good self-esteem, as it helps you to live life successfully and happily. Education is one way of getting that dream job and education is an essential cog in the wheel to living comfortably and happily. One English survey that included over 15,000 participants revealed that 81 percent of people who had achieved a good level of education had a high level of life satisfaction.”

Based on personal beliefs and research, Curtis’ essay describes different contributing causes to people’s happiness. These include a loving, stable family and good health. Interestingly, there is a positive correlation between education level and happiness, as Curtis cites statistics showing that education leads to high self-esteem, which can make you happier. 

“Socratic questioning is the process of challenging and changing irrational thoughts. Studies show that this method can reduce depression symptoms. The goal is to get you from a negative mindset (“I’m a failure.”) to a more positive one (“I’ve had a lot of success in my career. This is just one setback that doesn’t reflect on me. I can learn from it and be better.”)”

Parker-Pope writes about the different factors of happiness and how to practice mindfulness and positivity in this guide. She gives tips such as doing breathing exercises, moving around more, and spending time in places and with people that make you happy. Most importantly, however, she reminds readers that negative thoughts should not be repressed. Instead, we should accept them but challenge that mindset.

“Happiness is our choice of not leaving our mind and soul at the mercy of the sways of excitement. Happiness cannot eliminate sorrow, suffering, pain or death from the scheme of things, but it can help keep fear, anxiety, sadness, hopelessness, pessimism and other fathers of unhappiness at bay.”

Sultan discusses what happiness means to her personally. It provides an escape from all the dreariness and lousy news of daily life, not eliminating negative thoughts but keeping them at a distance, even just for a moment. She writes that to be happy; we should not base our happiness on the outcomes of our actions. We cannot control the world around us, so we should not link our happiness to it. If something doesn’t go our way, that is just how the world works. It is useless to be sad over what we cannot control.

4.   Happiness is Overrated by John Gorman

“Our souls do float across the sea of life, taking on water as they go, sinking ever so slightly — perhaps even imperceptibly — into despair. But our souls are not the bucket. Happiness itself is. And it’s the bucket we use to pour water out our souls and keep us afloat. What we really need is peace. Peace patches the holes in our souls and stops the leaking. Once we have peace, we will no longer need to seek happiness.”

In his essay, Gorman reflects on how he stopped trying to chase happiness and instead focused on finding peace in life. He writes that we are often so desperate looking for happiness that our lives become complicated, chaotic, and even depressing at times. He wants readers to do what they are passionate about and be their authentic selves; that way, they will find true happiness. You might also be interested in these essays about courage .

“That’s the mindset most of us have. Half of toxic positivity is just the suppression of 200% acceptable feelings such as anger, fear, sadness, confusion, and more. Any combination of such feelings is deemed “negative.” Honestly, mix ‘em up and serve them to me in a cocktail, eh? (Fine, fine, a mocktail. I reserve my right to one of those little umbrellas though.)

But by closing ourselves off to anything but positivity, we’re experiencing the same effects as being emotionally numb. Why are we doing this to ourselves?”

Mahajan writes about the phenomenon known as “toxic positivity” in which everyone is expected to be happy with their lives. It trivializes people’s misfortunes and sufferings, telling them to be happy with what they have instead. Mahajan opposes this, believing that everyone’s feelings are valid. She writes that it’s okay to be sad or angry at times, and the stigma around “negative feelings” should be erased. When we force ourselves to be happy, we may feel emotionally numb or even sad, the exact opposite of being happy. 

Many would say that happiness aids you in many aspects of your life. Based on personal experience and research, discuss the importance of being happy. Give a few benefits or advantages of happiness. These can include physical, mental, and psychological benefits, as well as anything else you can think of. 

Happiness means different things to different people and may come from various sources. In your essay, you can also explain how you define happiness. Reflect on this feeling and write about what makes you happy and why. Explain in detail for a more convincing essay; be sure to describe what you are writing about well. 

Happiness has a myriad of causes, many of which are material. Research the extent to which material possessions can make one happy, and write your essay about whether or not material things can truly make us happy. Consider the question, “Can money buy happiness?” Evaluate the extent to which it can or cannot, depending on your stance.  

Happiness has often been associated with a higher level of productivity. In your essay, look into the link between these two. In particular, discuss the mental and chemical effects of happiness. Since this topic is rooted in research and statistics, vet your sources carefully: only use the most credible sources for an accurate essay.

In their essays, many, including Gorman and Mahajan, seem to hold a more critical view of happiness. Our world is full of suffering and despair, so some ask: “Can we truly be happy on this earth?” Reflect on this question and make the argument for your position. Be sure to provide evidence from your own experiences and those of others. 

In dystopian stories, authorities often restrict people’s knowledge to keep them happy. We are seeing this even today, with some governments withholding crucial information to keep the population satisfied or stable. Write about whether you believe what they are doing is defensible or not, and provide evidence to support your point. 

For help with this topic, read our guide explaining “what is persuasive writing ?”

For help picking your next essay topic, check out our top essay topics about love .

Martin is an avid writer specializing in editing and proofreading. He also enjoys literary analysis and writing about food and travel.

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Is Happiness a Choice?

Shawn achor and michelle gielan on choosing happiness..

Posted May 24, 2017 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

• What Is a Career
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• Happiness is a choice, but being unhappy is not a failure.
• When it comes to happiness, finding joy in the journey is key.
• Happiness is about being conscious of where one wants to devote mental resources and training the brain to do it.

While attending the World Happiness Summit , I had the opportunity to sit down with two of the most prominent voices on the subject of happiness —Shawn Achor, author of The Happiness Advantage, and Michelle Gielan, author of Broadcasting Happiness . We discussed whether or not happiness is in fact a choice and some simple practices for enhancing happiness. The following is an excerpt from that conversation:

Dr. Woody: You both describe happiness as the joy of moving towards your potential and how that movement can fuel happiness. One of the challenges with moving towards potential is the awareness of what that potential is and how to derive joy from it?

Michelle Gielan: First, it’s important to acknowledge that life is a journey—a journey that can provide us with joy. And, realize that the journey doesn’t include just high moments, there are also challenges along the way.

What you’re asking is a really important question. Are we saying: Is this my potential as a manager? Is this my potential at Excel spreadsheets? Is this my potential as a chef? In parenting and so on? It’s really the realization that potential can lie in a larger pot or it can be really specific. Recognizing you want to grow to your potential in a specific domain and that there’s more you can achieve is where I think it gets fun. It’s about finding opportunities to grow and the joy of being in the midst of that journey.

Shawn Achor: As Michelle says, I think the joy in the journey is key. You have to ask: Does this goal fuel me or not? And, if this goal is getting in the way because I’m not the CEO of a major company or I didn’t get to be a rock star, then you let that goal go. As you set goals , never make the mistake of assuming you’ll be happier once you get there. Never assume that once you’re the CEO you’ll be happier. Because we work with those types of people and they’re not.

I think the key is to use the joy I feel right now to move me toward my goals, but I don’t need to necessarily get there in order to feel happy. I feel happiness today and along the way.

DrW: So, this begs the question: Is happiness a choice, and have unhappy people failed to make the choice to be happy?

SA: What I want people to realize is happiness can be a choice, and it’s something you can practice. But if you’re feeling unhappy, that’s not failure. What we want to steer people away from is apathy, which is that loss of movement. So, we want to focus on getting people back towards movement by using whatever hooks we have. So, if you’re feeling unhappy in a relationship, let’s talk about why you feel unhappy in your relationship right now. Maybe we can solve that problem or maybe there is something you can change. It always starts with the conversation.

The other thing is to show them examples of people like themselves and how change is possible. Sometimes it just takes reminding them that change is possible.

DrW: That’s interesting, the idea of movement as an element of happiness, whereas apathy is that lack of movement. How do you encourage that positive movement and what are some ways of “practicing” happiness?

MG: It’s about being conscious about how we devote our mental resources and training our brain to do it. That’s why we advocate simple practices like writing down three things you’re grateful for or sending a positive email to someone praising or thanking them. By doing these habits, we’re constantly bringing our brain back to the positive, getting it to refocus on the good things that are happening, the people that are meaningful in our lives. And the more we practice, the easier it becomes to see that stuff in our environment more naturally and more easily.

Michael Woodward, Ph.D. is an organizational psychologist, executive coach, and faculty member with the Institute for Management Studies.

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Happiness is a Choice, So Choose It!

Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. – Ralph Marston

There are some people who seem to think that happiness is the result of all the right wheels turning at just the right time. You’re walking down the street, find twenty dollars, get a compliment from a stranger, meet the perfect guy or girl (and don’t totally make a fool of yourself), go to your favorite store, and get 50% off, etc.

It’s easy to be happy when everything seems to be going your way, but I think that defining happiness that way reduces it to a by-product of luck, or an accident, which it is not. In fact, I might even argue that luck is a byproduct of happiness if I was in a particularly feisty mood.

Happiness doesn’t just happen.

Some days are good, but there are probably more days that are just mediocre or plain bad, and it’s on those days that the true nature of happiness is revealed. Have you ever met someone who stayed positive, even when they’re having a bad day, and everything that can go wrong seems to be going wrong? If you’re having a bad day, too, just being near someone like that can be uplifting (although for others it is annoying, but that usually just stems from jealousy).

People who are able to smile even through the worst of times have learned a very important lesson: Happiness is a choice .

Happiness is a choice.

That’s right, a choice. Not an accident, not a charitable gift from the universe. Of course, it’s nice to receive those gifts, and easy to be happy when you do, but happiness is about choosing to see the adventure in every moment, choosing to understand that there will always be light after the dark , that there is always good in every situation and every person, no matter how grim things may seem.

That’s the key to happiness: choosing it. It’s not an easy choice all the time, and it very well may be the last thing you want to do sometimes. When grief strikes or you just can’t catch a break, sometimes you just want to sulk and stay upset, perpetuating the sadness. It’s a natural response, but it isn’t a required behavior, it’s a choice. And choosing to be happy will make you a better, stronger, wiser, and more long-suffering person.

We always have the choice to be happy. Learning to change our attitude is frustrating, but worth it in the end. When we choose to be happy, things tend to work in our favor, and luck seems to be on our side; even if things don’t happen the way you want them to, if you choose to be happy, you can accept situations for what they are and make the most of life, no matter the hand it deals you.

The Power of Choosing Happiness

In summing up, the idea that happiness is a choice serves as a guiding principle that can transform our outlook on life. While external events may offer moments of joy or periods of sorrow, the enduring happiness that we all seek stems from an internal decision. Choosing to embrace the good, learn from the bad, and find contentment in every moment is the real key to a fulfilling life.

So, the next time you find yourself at a crossroads of emotions, remember that your internal state is largely within your control. With practice and a change in perspective, the empowering philosophy that happiness is a choice can become your daily mantra. When we opt for happiness, irrespective of our circumstances, we don’t just improve our own lives; we also shine as beacons of positivity for others to follow.

Choosing happiness isn’t always the path of least resistance, but it is the path that leads to the most rewarding and meaningful life. Are you ready to make that choice today?

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Mariana Ashley

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52 thoughts on “Happiness is a Choice, So Choose It!”

This is such an important message that everyone needs to understand! My wife and I have been talking to our kids about it lately. No matter what circumstances we find ourselves in, we choose how we respond to those circumstances.

Great post, happiness is a choice…its not the easiest it takes hard work to be happy and even thought i don’t like using the term hardwork…once you view it as a choice it is empowering!!

Mariana – beautifully written and expressed – you make some amazing points – YES happiness is a choice and sometimes I feel as if people rather stay in their roles of being victim, martyr instead of choosing happiness. Don’t understand but that’s the games people play.

As for myself I choose “happiness”….even in the midst of a painful divorce, I moved myself to California and decided to start living and be happy! What a difference that made – I could have complained, cried, whined and on and on – not that I didn’t at times but overall it was the happiness of my new adventure that made it all worth while.

Thank you for sharing, Nancy

I’ve always remained and reminded myself to stay in the state of compassion and bliss. I simply just ignore everything that puts me into distress. Not that there are not situations and I am all happy that they are, or how would I know that the state of that happiness is incomparable.?!

All I know is that happiness is not for the lousy souls. It is for the courageous, the care takers, the ignorant, the selfless, the focused, the decisive and the vigorous. You can’t be happy without being these. You’ve to be you first and then let go & Breathe.

That’s when you find true happiness. That’s when you are said to have chosen happiness. Great post Mariana!

” … happiness is not for the lousy souls. It is for the courageous, the care takers, the ignorant, the selfless, the focused, the decisive and the vigorous.”

Excellent insight. Best to you.

I agree Happiness is a conscious choice, a personal choice to either be happy or miserable and it isn’t the responsibility of another to make a person feel “happy.” (there are exceptions of course) I also believe that whatever trials and tribulations a person crosses on their life journey could mold a person to become stronger because life isn’t a walk in the park. A person in their lifetime will face some obstacles, one time or another and will need to adjust or change accordingly. However, not many people have that mindset. Unfortunately, some people may stay stuck; becoming bitter, angry & depressed and repetitively continuing the vicious cycle that brought them their original unhappy state of mind. I know a few people who fall in this category. I tried to reach out to help them but my happiness & success made them lash out in jealousy. So, by personal choice I cut them out of my life. It was the best decision I ever made and I am happier today for doing so because it’s suffocating being in the same vicinity of such miserable people. It is better to be surrounded by happy people to be happy.

I shared your blog on my facebook and twitter.

Have a great day.

Thanks Mariana, for a great post. Being miserable is also a choice so why not choose to deal with things as powerfully as possible? First we need to wake up to the fact that we are choosing our reactions to whatever is going on. After the “aha” come the hard work of choosing joy even when things aren’t so fabulous.

Happiness is achieved by doing changes that will reflect on the long run. But I agree when you say that it’s a choice more than anything else. No matter how much improvement we are doing in our lives, learning to be happy is completely a separate thing. Nice point of view.

Thankyou for this.

Great post Love it!!!

i agree with parts of this article, but i think if people ignored “feelings” and walked around all the time like everything is great (ignoring their feelings), i think they will explode at some point.

life is simple, if your happy, great keep doing what your doing, if your not happy then change your life, to put yourself in a better place to be happy.

example: if someone is cheating or not treating you right, don’t ignore it. do something about it. of course this wouldnt make someone happy to be in this situation. its ok to feel unhappiness. you get through it bad feelings and all, and change things so that your not in this position again. thus in the future you can be happy. dont focus on being unhappy, thats just stupid. focus on changing things to be happier, but dont forget to feel the feelings that come along in life, and in this situation.

you cant force yourself to be happy all the time, its not logical. it stops you from feeling “feelings”. feelings are important to growth as a person, all of them are. happiness, sadness, regret, madness, love, hate, and all the others. i think people should feel them as they come along in their life, and deal with them. not sweep them under the rug, as this article suggests.

just dont let a certain “one” feeling run your life, thats stupid too…

This is a fantastic article. My boyfriend always told me this and i never understood. I see that it is a choice even in the midst of a horrible break up. But I dont want to choose to be happy without him when he says he’s coming back. I choose to be happy about missing him instead… and maybe that doesnt make sense, and maybe i should give up. But I choose to be happy in other ways.

This is a great post! I say this all the time but usually have a hard time explaining to people what I mean. You literally took the thoughts right out my head! Thank you for this!

Fantastic post! Have been feel down these days, really enlighten me on my direction of handling people! It is a choice which we can choose to be happy than allowing other to control our happiness, so long one resolve to choose ways to stay happy, we will be happy. Thanks and have a great day.

Thank you for posting this up. It helped me with my essay for my English class.

I am well known for the fact that I ALWAYS choose happiness. But one day, I had a very, very bad day. One thing after another went wrong. Nothing seemed to work out. I cried, I threw a hissy fit, I fell into hysterical, if-I-don’t-laugh-right-now-I’ll-have-a-nervous-breakdown laughter, and then cried some more. It was one heck of a day.

I couldn’t seem to choose happiness that day. I tried, but it didn’t work. And the coworkers who told me how they always depended on me to cheer up their day only made me feel worse.

But I was laughing about the whole thing by the next day.

To me, that is the meaning of choosing happiness. Sometimes, you’re going to get angry. Sometimes, things are going to go so wrong you cry. But you get up and get back on the horse anyway.

Because why would you want to choose to be miserable?

that’s so right we need to do some effort in order to be happy choosing to be happy is the first step

I don’t think that we necessarily can choose happiness. But I know that we can choose to try to do something about our own happiness.

Personally, in my own life I have discovered that happiness is a lot like a habit. The more you practice it and the more you become self-aware at how you are feeling. The easier it becomes to feel happiness automatically.

Anybody feel the same?

Happiness is a fleeting emotion. It comes and goes.

I believe what this article is really talking about (especially towards the end) is acceptance. Presence of the mind. Appreciation.

From this perspective, I’ve learned to have deep appreciation for my experiences, good or bad. It’s been tough building a brand, for instance, but it matters not what I “feel” along this process. Behind this is a soothing, sublime feeling that tells me whatever I’m doing is the right thing.

Because I’m the one doing it.

Thanks for this article.

– Danny

I couldn’t agree more. Well written, concise article. I remember the day my life drastically changed for the better was when I learned that our patterns of thought are just habits. We are what we consistently think about. Because of this simple truth, in order to change your life, you just have to change your thinking habits. Depression is a habit, but so is happiness. Thanks for the article, well said!

So well written. Happiness is a choice that we tend not to choose. I know someone who has gone though so much, yet that person still has a smile and is the most positive person i have known in my entire life.

It is very very hard but we ought to give it a try rather than sulking and making things worse for our own self.

There are two steps when faced with a difficult situation. Step 1: Mental decide to be happy. This doesn’t mean to ignore the problem. But to do what you can and accept the outcome. Step 2: Decide to be happy physically. This means, stand up straight, walk quickly, and smile. Following those two steps will always keep you in a good mood.

You make a very good point about choosing to be happy. Choosing not to be happy is almost like choosing to be miserable. I also like what you said about being around other people who are all chipper when you are not in a good mood; it does lift your spirits. -John

Mariana, You’re so right, because happiness is a choice. If it weren’t so, all those who suffered some kind of personal tragedy such as the loss of a loved one, would never get over the pain. If we wait for all that we want in life to be happy, that may never happen. Happiness is the choice to appreciate the good things we have.

Good message. Happiness is definitely a choice. This choice changes everything, our thought process, our lifestyle, our relationship with people, and ultimately our life.

Happiness is a choice – as is everything in our lives! Thank you for this post, love it =)

Love this post. It’s true tho that happiness is a choice. Most people are blind to that and assume that happiness is something that “happens” when “things go their way”. By choosing to be happy, thing DO go your way…most of the time anyway :)

So true that happiness is a choice. We can choose it moment by moment. We can also develop habits that contribute to our happiness, so that happiness becomes our “default” mode. As your article points out, though, we have to take responsibility, and stop playing the victim/blame game.

Reading your post and some of the answers I can’t help but feel that lot of people have given a great deal of thought to .. being happy. As in all of life’s complexities I think that BALANCE is the key; one must choose to be happy but not be blind to the things that are making them unhappy. I hope not to sound too corny but honestly the thing that “does it” for me is trying to do whatever I am doing with Love.. it is impossible to have a heart full of love and be miserable!

I love this sentence in your blog. “People who are able to smile even through the worst of times have learned a very important lesson, the same lesson I stated above: Happiness doesn’t just happen.” Happiness can be a result of practice. :)

Well said! Happiness is most definitely a conscious choice of perspective.

– In absolute measures it doesn’t matter if you perceive the glass as half full or half empty. However, the consequence (resulting course of action) will be the polar opposite. Implicitly –

Additionally, we need to be able to (emotionally) deal with periods of misfortune. The ability to conclude and correctly archive miseries, so that the subconscious mind doesn’t overwrite positive intentions.

I couldn’t agree more – Happiness is a choice. We have all had difficult pasts (to varying degrees) and we all have challenges to face in our daily lives.

The real trick is to CHOOSE how we want to react and feel now, every day.

“When you woke up this morning, on a scale of 1-10, how happy did you decide to be”?

With love, Jess

I agree with this 100%. Happiness – as with everything in our lives – come down to choice. Love it, thank you =) x

Happiness makes so many things more possible in life and career. It allows us to think more clearly. I do agree it is a choice. Everyone has to deal with ups and downs and we all choose our own behavior so it’s about choosing to be positive over negative!

What if everything you do fails? Not just like say a few times in a row, but every single time over the course of a decade?

Jimbob, try not avoid the “never”, “always” or “everything” mindset. Accept and be grateful for the small successes. If you made a delicious meal, appreciate the win and allow yourself to be happy. If your next meal isn’t so delicious, that’s ok, just remember you did make a delicious meal before.

I wonder why it’s not more intuitive for us to realize that light follows dark, as you say. For whatever reason people (myself included) seem to focus and fixate on the bad and it makes things significantly more difficult for us. I thank you for writing this article and helping spread your positive message, it is really important that more people start speaking this truth!

Very true. Happiness is linked to thankfulness. Being thankful on a daily basis is a conscious decision that one can take or not!

This is a great post and highly valuable! Happiness must and will always be rooted within your inner being. Taking the time to nurture your being on a consistent basis will keep your happiness tank full. When you allow external factors such as materialistic possessions to influence your happiness, it’s time to self reflect and figure out what truly makes you happy.

Your right, happiness is a choice, and we all have the option to make that choice, long term happiness cannot be found on the outside it is something that has to come from within once we choose thoughts of comfort that make us feel good, I think we should also focus on the physical body to find complete bliss.

Great post. Love this quote, “We always have the choice to be happy. Learning to change our attitude is frustrating, but worth it in the end.”

Every day we make choices in our lives. But the most important choice is to be happy and always look for ways to make others around us happy too. That’s what I think of happiness. I think positive attitude in life is the key to being happy. I think people should not live in the past and should look for ways to improve who they are. No matter where a person comes from or how successful or rich, having happiness in life is priceless and the most cherish able thing that a person can have. The most important thing is to choose happiness and pass it to everyone else that is around you to make life more beautiful and enjoyable. Never wait for happiness instead choose it and keep it.

Thanks Mariana for this great article! I absolutely agree that happiness is a choice! My life is just so much better since I understood that! Being accountable for everything that happens in my life made a tremendous difference in my happiness! I still have ups and downs, but the ups are higher and last longer while the downs are also higher than before and vanish quicker! Cheers! Martin

Yes! And, for me, the best thing are the consequences of chosing happiness: because happiness leads to more happiness.

Think of a smile, for example. A smile will lead to more smiles around you, the relationships will deepen etc.

Thank you for the inspiring post.

Are you kidding me? Happiness is not a choice. Have you ever known someone diagnosed with depression or severe anxiety? It’s the chemicals inside us that control how we feel. We can’t help it. Everyone does not have the option of that choice and it’s incredibly naïve to assume that. People suffering with depression DO NOT CHOOSE to be miserable.

i do agree that you can choose happiness throughout your day, but how could someone maintain that happiness, because the smallest things can just ruin all that.Making the whole day feel worst then before ,Yeah you can wake up and say today am gonna be happy and every thing is gonna change, and then you trip ,you get a phone call you didn’t want ,or etc by then your whole day just seems to go down form there .

I do not consider HAPPINESS is one thing to get reached then had. Closest aspect to happiness might be a mindset toward lifestyle.

Yes! Love this! Completely agree that happiness is 100% a choice – an important lesson.

‘Happiness is a choice’ Such a true statement and a great post Mariana. If more people realised that happiness is a choice the world would be a happier more positive place. Many people tend to associate happiness with things, seeing it as an outside force, where as the truth is that it comes from the inside, we cannot obtain happiness from anywhere but within ourselves.

Exactly…happiness is a choice, we may not be able to choose our emotions but we can chose how we react to them. I make it a daily habit the “equanimity game” as Marcus Aureilius called it, that when I’m feeling down I try to change my attitude to a more positive one…happiness.

Happiness is a state of mind and you have to make yourself happy. You should never place the fate of your happiness in people or things. Happy people are just like us. They have problems, bills, disappointment, stress, and drama in their lives too. The truth is you can either choose to be happy or surrender your happiness to the troubles in your life. On every given day, if you should search you’ll find reasons to be sad, but the reverse is also true, on every given day, you can find a reason to be happy. My happiness is my priority. I choose to be happy.

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Is It True That Being Happy Is a Choice

Happiness is something that everyone desires and strives for, but is it true that being happy is a choice?

When it feels as though your world is spiraling out of control, you may find this difficult to believe.

Indeed, you can’t always control the situations and events in your life, but you can choose how to think and feel about your circumstances and how you respond to them.

Being happy is a choice, and choosing to be happy benefits your physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

In this guide, we examine the concept of happiness as a choice and how to make this life-altering choice for yourself every day.

Is Being Happy Within Your Control?

Is being happy a choice that is under your control? Yes, being happy is a choice that is always within your control!

No one can decide for you whether you can be happy or not. No one can decide what makes you happy or why it does so. And no one can stop you from doing what makes you happy .

Most of the time, when you feel you have no say in your happiness, it is because you think you can’t. But you don’t need permission from anyone to be happy!

There is a world of joyful opportunities awaiting each one of us. Find the ones that resonate with you.

Can Happiness Be Out of Your Control?

Being happy is a choice that is always within your control though you may perceive it as outside your control.

No matter how much you try, some things are out of your control. For instance, you can’t always choose your job or where you live, and you can’t change other people’s behavior.

You may be influenced by external factors such as social and cultural norms. You may feel obligated to adhere to what others expect you to do, including feeling pressure to choose a particular path or make certain decisions.

You likely have obligations too. You have to please your employer, your partner, and your family. You may have a spouse or partner relying on you and have children to support. You may be working extra hours at a job you don’t particularly like to pay the bills.

But even when faced with external factors you don’t have control over, you can still choose to be happy.

You can shift your perspective and focus on the things you do have control over, such as how you think about and respond to stressful situations.

You can choose what hobbies or activities to do during your leisure time.

You can decide which causes or organizations to support.

You can care for yourself and keep in touch with people who make you feel safe and accepted.

Happiness is a habit that needs to be worked on – harder by some than others due to life circumstances. Allow yourself to be happy by prioritizing your happiness and making choices that lead you to it.

Happiness Can Be Found Anywhere and Everywhere

Even the poorest neighborhoods, the most war-torn environments, and ascetic monastic communities all contain happy people. How is this possible?

These people choose to be happy despite what some may see as situations that cannot include happiness. Their attitude to life keeps them calm and content, despite any material lack or negative outside influences.

The point is that the freedom to choose happiness is always within your control. No matter what life throws at you, you can always find a way to be happy—if you choose it.

How to Choose Happiness

Below are our top ideas for choosing happiness. These are just a few possibilities for introducing more happiness into your daily routine.

If you can think of other ways, that’s wonderful! Add them to this list.

Even if you can’t tackle all the ideas on the list right now, try at least one.

1. Seek Out Meaningful Connections

Unhappy people are often also lonely people. It may seem like the solution is to surround yourself with other people, but this isn’t necessarily true. Loneliness can be due to a lack of meaningful connections and conversations. There’s a difference between being lonely and being alone!

While it is possible to be happy alone , having meaningful relationships are essential for long-term happiness.

This is something that you have to seek out actively. These relationships will not fall into your lap. You need to engage in social interactions to build healthy friendships.

Introverts may have a more challenging time making friends, but they also need friends! If this rings true for you, read up on how to make friends as an introvert .

Making friends as an adult can be difficult, but it’s not impossible. Try joining a club or taking a class in something that interests you. Volunteer with a local organization and make connections that way. Spend more time on the activities you’re already involved in, and try to build relationships there. Strike up conversations with people you encounter daily. Look for a shared interest, common goal, or compatible values.

It’s also important to cultivate relationships with your existing friends. Spend time with them, confide in them, and tell them what’s happening in your life. These people will be there for you when you need them.

With a little effort, you can develop the meaningful connections you need to be happy.

How Friendships Make You Happy

Friendships are not only great for developing social skills and passing the time in a fun way. Studies have shown that friendships can help us deal with traumas, handle stress, and lead healthier lives .

Don’t forget about family, either. They may not be our best friends, but they’re the people who have known us the longest. They can be a great source of support, love, and guidance.

2. Give Something Back

Happiness research has shown that one of the best ways to become happier is by bringing happiness to others. So give something back to your community!

There are many options for giving back to the community. How you get involved is up to you.

Put your business skills to use by helping with a fundraising campaign. Utilize your social skills and give a talk at your local community center to drum up support for a local charity. Or give your time by helping at a soup kitchen, women’s shelter, or retirement home.

You can even start small by being polite and friendly with your neighbors. Small acts of kindness can go a long way toward helping build a sense of community and bringing joy to others.

There are many ways to be kind !

How Giving Back Makes You Happy

Giving back not only helps others, but it also makes you feel good. Seeing how you are helping others lead better lives will make you feel happy no matter what your circumstances are.

Taking the time to help the less fortunate will help you become more appreciative of everything you have. It will also give you a sense of purpose and add meaning to your life.

Choosing which charities, organizations, or causes to support is also a great way to express your values and make a difference in the world.

3. Discover a New Interest or Hobby

Don’t underestimate the amount of happiness a fulfilling hobby can bring you. There are so many possibilities to choose from! Be sure to find the right one(s) for you. Consider your personality, talents, and interests for the best fit.

Do you love nature but lack the free time to go outdoors? If you live in an apartment, don’t let that stop you. Indoor plants and windowsill gardening can bring just as much joy! Bring the outdoors home by creating a garden you can care for on the weekends.

Are you more technologically inclined? Have you considered building model ships or planes? If you’re creative, try your hand at art. With so many online courses available these days, you can master any new skill from the comfort of your own home.

Do you want to experience the earth’s natural beauty while strengthening your physical body? Try joining a hiking group. You’ll make friends with like-minded individuals while getting some great exercise and improving your physical health.

How a Hobby Makes You Happy

Indulging in leisure activities is an effective way to choose happiness. By focusing your mind on one calming or interesting activity, you divert your mind away from any stress you may be experiencing.

For a scientific example, scientists in the UK found that a bacterium inhaled while gardening can improve your emotional and mental health.

Pursuing a hobby gives you a sense of purpose and accomplishment and an outlet for your creativity. It can also give you a sense of control over your life and the freedom to express yourself unapologetically.

It is also a great way to meet new people who share the same interests as you.

4. Look for That Silver Lining

Have you ever had a day when things just seem to go wrong? You’re not alone – we all experience such days. But have you heard the old saying that “every cloud has a silver lining”? You can become immediately happier by adjusting how you look at things!

The car wouldn’t start, and you need to get to work? That’s certainly an annoyance. But now the car will be fixed before the upcoming winter, and you won’t have to worry about it breaking down in the cold weather.

Your big screen TV stopped working? Ditch the monotonous series and re-runs. Enjoy an evening of board games and laughter with your family. There are so many fun things you can do !

Make a conscious decision to see each problematic event as an opportunity to do things differently. Look at the bright side of every situation and change your negative emotions to positive ones.

Choose an attitude of gratitude to focus on what you do have rather than worrying about what you don’t have. Little things like being thankful for your health, the people around you, and the beauty of the world can help you cultivate a truly happy life.

Learn to keep a positive attitude, and the little things that used to annoy you so much will not seem as bad as they once did. Before long, you’ll no longer experience happiness as a fleeting emotion but as an established habit!

How Positive Thoughts Make You Happy

Even the darkest cloud often has a silver lining. You just have to take a closer look. You are not changing the event but rather your perception of it. This way, every obstacle can become an opportunity to learn, grow, and become happier.

By learning to think more positively, you can develop an increased sense of well-being and contentment with your life. Positive thinking helps you to appreciate the good in any situation, even in those circumstances that might not seem so perfect.

Cultivating gratitude helps you to remember that no matter how bad a situation may seem, there is always something to be thankful for. This simple shift in perspective helps you to be more accepting and at peace with the world around you.

5. Practice Psychological Self-Care

This may sound like quite a momentous task, but it isn’t. All it means is that you should do things that are good for you and your emotional and mental health. One of the simplest ways to achieve this is through mindfulness activities.

This can include meditation, yoga, and affirmations. Everyone, from the corporate employee to the stay-at-home parent, can benefit from these mindfulness practices. Best of all, they are easy to learn and can all be done at home.

By consistently practicing self-love and self-care, you will reap the rewards of increased happiness. The goal is to be kinder to yourself and work on being content with who you are.

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to perfect your meditation practice or other self-care activities. It is not about the skill but rather the attempt. In time, you will find that mindfulness comes naturally and easily.

How Mindfulness Activities Make You Happy

Mindfulness activities can help improve your mood and outlook on life by teaching you how to focus on the present moment. When practicing mindfulness, you learn to pay attention to your thoughts and emotions without judgment.

When you look within and focus on your inner peace, you automatically become more receptive to happiness in your life. This allows you to appreciate the good moments and gracefully work through the tough ones.

6. Focus on the Freedom of Choice

A 2011 study on autonomy across 63 societies showed that people prize the freedom to choose above material wealth. Autonomy, the freedom to be one’s own person and make decisions about one’s own life, improves well-being.

Therefore, when you feel helpless or powerless, focus on your freedom of choice and use it to your advantage. There are always opportunities for growth, exploration, and creative expression. You can learn something new every day .

Take a few moments to step back and reflect on what you have control over in your life and the choices that are available to you. This can help you find joy in the mundane and keep your spirit alive despite any challenges or struggles that come your way.

How the Freedom to Choose Makes You Happy

The freedom to choose is a powerful tool for finding happiness. When you make conscious decisions about how to spend your time, where to focus your attention, and how to use your energy, you create an environment ripe for thriving.

This freedom gives you the power to shape your life in meaningful ways, helping us to reach your goals, learn new skills, and take advantage of opportunities for growth. Even when you don’t have complete control over external circumstances or outside events, you can still make choices that honor who you are and what matters most to you.

Why Is It So Hard to Choose Your Own Happiness?

Let us reassure you that it is hard for many people to choose happiness. You are certainly not alone in this feeling.

Why is this inability to choose happiness so prevalent in our society? We have made such strides in technology, logic, and reasoning, haven’t we? So, why can’t we seem to choose joy? There are many reasons, but three are especially common.

Let’s examine these most common stumbling blocks to choosing happiness.

1. Fear of Upsetting the Status Quo

As strange as it may sound, many people are hesitant to choose to be happy for fear of upsetting the status quo. This can be due to their deep-seated beliefs about self-determination or their peers’ beliefs about what is considered acceptable for their community.

Deciding to have a purpose-led life filled with happiness is not selfish. It’s also not a strange path or a new-age way of thinking.

True happiness is available to and is the right of everyone on the planet.

It should never be subject to the opinions of others. Our social groups, religious communities, and political parties play a significant role in our lives, but they should not separate us from joy and happiness!

See these entities for what they are – helpful support structures. Ultimately, you need to live your own life and make choices that are right for you.

2. Fear of the Unknown

When you’re stuck in a rut, doing things the same way every day for years, you may be afraid of change. This is perfectly normal, and nothing to be ashamed of. It is, however, unhealthy.

This fear of change becomes a wall that you build around yourself to feel safe. But although this wall may make you feel safe, it is not your friend.

Fear of the unknown is the archenemy of happiness.

Change is good for the mind and the soul. Change allows us to grow as individuals, and learn more about ourselves. Stepping outside our comfort zones is what allows us to find what makes us happy in life. Don’t let fear of the unknown hold you back from finding happiness.

If you need help breaking down that wall and starting your journey to a more fulfilling life, speak to a licensed therapist or counselor.

3. Feeling That You Don’t Deserve It

This issue is far more common than you might think. Perhaps you, too, are struggling with this barrier to choosing happiness. How can you choose to be happy when you feel that you don’t deserve it?

Let’s deal with that right away. Everyone deserves to be happy! Let’s say that again, together: everyone deserves to be happy.

No matter who you are, where you come from, or what you do, you deserve happiness . Whatever you feel is holding you back, it’s time to let it go.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to forgive yourself for past errors. Forgiving yourself is the best way to overcome any mistakes you might have made. Make amends where and if possible, and move on. But, move on to what? Move on to a happier life, that’s what!

Allow yourself to rise above whatever happened in your past. Choose to start with a fresh slate and create happiness for yourself.

Being Happy Is a Choice

In life, you don’t always get to choose everything that happens to and around you. Unfortunately, not everything is under your control. Yet a lot of things are. Your happiness is one of them. Happiness is a choice!

It is a choice that you need to make every day to stay calm and centered in a chaotic world.

While it may seem impossible to find opportunities to be happy, especially if you have a family and a career, it truly isn’t. You can seek happiness and contentment in any situation, no matter your life circumstances, age, experiences, or responsibilities.

Easy Ways to Choose Happiness

If you need a bit more help cultivating happiness for yourself, here are some ideas to try:

• Practice powerful affirmations of self-love .
• Journal daily .
• Take time to be mindful each day.
• Make self-care a priority.
• Listen to happy music .
• Create an accountability calendar .
• Choose happiness quotes that resonate with you and read them often.
• Install one of the best happiness apps on your mobile device.
• Review our list of happiness hacks and try some of them out!

Final Thoughts

So, can a person choose to be happy ? Yes!

Prioritize your happiness, and you will see that it benefits your home and work life. Happier people are more productive and enjoy better relationships. Now those are some great reasons to choose happiness!

Being happy is a choice, so choose happiness today! Stay positive, and let your happiness radiate to those around you. Life is too short to be anything but happy.

The Do Happy App is an excellent tool for fostering happiness. Give it a try and see how it can help you choose happiness every day!

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Insideout Mastery

Create a Life You Love

Why Happiness is a Choice and 15 Practical Ways to Choose to Be Happy

August 24, 2021 by Mick

Happiness is a choice that you can make.

But first, you have to let go of some common expectations people have about happiness. 

For starters, it’s not about achieving external results, like success and material gain. You won’t find lasting happiness in the big wins. Nor can you be happy 100% of the time. 

Instead, choosing happiness lies in the simple yet often overlooked things.

Everyone looks for the big secret and overlooks the small stuff. While it is the tiny consistent actions that make the differences. A slight change in attitude. A different perspective. Or developing a new habit.

The tips below will help you to choose for more happiness.

In fact, these are the exact tips that I’ve used to turn my life around from feeling stuck and frustrated to excitement and happiness.

So let’s dive in!

#1: Accept Suffering

You might wonder why the first tip is about the acceptance of suffering.

Earlier we discussed why life is hard and that suffering is a part of life. No matter how hard you try to avoid difficulty, you will have to face it eventually.

That leaves you with a choice:

• Resist suffering
• Accept suffering

The answer for happiness here is simple: anything you resist grows bigger. Thus resisting the difficulties of life won’t help you to deal with them.

Buddhism agrees.

The goal of Buddhism is enlightenment. But when you look at the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism, they are all about suffering. 

Because once again: you can’t escape suffering. The question is not if it happens, but when. And when difficulties arise, resisting them only makes it worse.

Choosing happiness means you must learn to accept suffering. 

Though this isn’t easy, it will make you a much happier individual. When you do, you can move on from the past and truly start living in the present. 

#2: Smile More Often

How can you smile when you don’t feel happy?

Here’s a step-by-step approach:

• Go find a mirror
• Look into the mirror
• Try to lift the corners of your mouth towards your eyes

Easy, right?

Maybe this sounds silly, but it is not. Psychologists found that simply smiling for no clear reason makes you happier.

I mean, did you try to smile in the mirror?

If so, you would have noticed how you felt a little better. Perhaps the reason you smiled is that it felt silly. But why care if it makes you feel good?

Stop taking life so seriously and start smiling more often. 

Smile at people on the street. Smile to yourself in the mirror after you wake up. And smile at work for no apparent reason.

Not only will you feel better, but others will also smile back more often.

Choosing happiness isn’t going to become easier than this.

#3: Focus on the Process

Many people attach happiness to a result in the future.

“If I can achieve X or buy Y, then I’ll finally be happy.”

Turns out, they do feel happy after they get the result. The problem? Their happiness is often short-lived and leaves them more confused afterward.

If you achieve success but still feel unhappy, you get even more stuck.

Therefore, happiness isn’t about a result, but rather, it’s about the journey that gets you there.

So if you don’t enjoy your journey right now, you should ask yourself if the results are even worth it. Do you want to sacrifice joy today to chase (a false promise of) happiness in the future?

I’m not saying it’s bad to have goals. On Insideout Mastery, we are all about setting meaningful goals and achieving personal success .

But not at the cost of everything.

If you want to choose happiness, choose a process you will enjoy – rather than focusing on only the results. After all, many roads lead to Rome. 

You can find a way to enjoy the process AND get the results you desire. 

#4: Seek Growth

In line with choosing for a process lies the journey towards growth.

When you find a process that you enjoy, you’ll also find it easier to learn and grow. This will help you to achieve anything you desire much faster.

Not only is growth necessary for success, but it’s also key to happiness.

Carol Dweck talks about this in her book: Growth Mindset . Those who adopt a growth mindset are more engaged in the process and achieve more than those with a fixed mindset. In fact, the fixed mindset will not even start the process and become bitter instead.

And it’s also mentioned in the book Flow , in which Mihaly talks about the best conditions for humans to thrive. This happens when one meets the right balance between challenge and skill.

Naturally, achieving flow leads to growth.

But you don’t need to learn this from books.

When was the last time you learned something new? And how did you feel when you were learning it?

Learning new things is fun. Seeking opportunities that spark growth is one way to choose to be happy more often.

#5: Take Responsibility

What does not taking responsibility do to people?

They tend to blame and complain about life.

Their boss is to blame for their situation at home. The government is at fault for making a mess of their life. The system is rigged to favor the rich. And their partner is only complaining all the time.

Though everything might be true, it’s a helpless situation.

After all, who is going to change anything about it? 

I doubt that your partner will change if you do not. I doubt the government will suddenly make better choices. And I doubt that your boss will give you a raise because you feel like a bag of potatoes.

But what happens when you do take responsibility?

When do you stop complaining and start taking action to change your situation?

Then you regain personal power .

Being responsible for the situation feels great. Why? Because it shifts your focus from blaming and complaining to coming up with solutions and taking action instead. 

Though taking responsibility is difficult, it’s the right choice if you want to enjoy more happiness.

#6: Eat the Frog

Not literally of course.

Brian Tracy talks about this simple idea in his book, Eat That Frog . Eating the frog means doing the most important and dreadful task, the first thing in your day .

Doing so comes with great benefits:

• You feel good for the rest of the day
• You become much more productive if you do this every day
• You achieve the thing that could otherwise cause procrastination

Once again, it’s a relatively easy choice that will increase your success and happiness.

#7: Practice Gratitude

Researchers wanted to know if gratitude helps you become happier. 

In their study , they let one group write about things they were grateful for during their week. A second group about what irritated them. And the third group about events that had affected them.

The result? 

After 10 weeks, the first group felt optimistic and better about their lives than the other groups.

In other words: what you focus on grows.

Though these results are promising, gratitude practices never seemed to work that well for me. But that changed when I found one particular way of doing it.

I like to call it gratitude when you need it the most .

When something happens at work or someone is unreasonable, what happens to you? You become angry and close yourself off, right? You start thinking about all the stupid things they did, how unfair they were, and …

Stop. 

This is the time for gratitude.

When you feel frustrated and notice that you start to become negative, interrupt yourself and ask yourself a simple question: what can you be grateful for? 

Specifically, what can you be grateful for about the very thing you feel frustrated about.

For example, if your boss is unfair to you, what can you be grateful for about your boss? Did he trust you with this challenge? Did he give you this opportunity to grow and learn something new?

When you think about the stuff you can be grateful for, you shift your focus away from the negative. Instead of getting lost in a downward spiral , this helps you to see things from a different perspective. 

Happiness is a choice. 

Your choice.

Because there is always something to be grateful for if you’re willing to open yourself to it. You just need to remember that the next time you feel frustrated, upset, or angry.

#8: Spend Time Alone

Loneliness is a common reason why people experience unhappiness. Yet, sometimes loneliness is exactly what you need to make the choices you need to make.

Being alone helps you to gain personal insights and perspective. It helps you to redefine what’s most meaningful to you, your desires, and your dreams.

And that allows you to make the best decisions for your life. 

After all, only you know what is best for you. And only you, not others, can make the best decisions for you to increase happiness.

#9: Spread Kindness

How difficult is it to be kind to others?

Well, it seems to become increasingly more difficult in this world. Yet, it isn’t that hard to be kind to others.

And you know what?

Being kind to others isn’t only great for them, you’ll feel much better about yourself too. 

So get out of your bubble every once in a while. Say something nice to the cashier when you do your shopping next time. Ask a colleague how they are doing. Help a stranger when you see they need it.

Once again: choosing happiness is in the small everyday things.

#10: Engage in Meaningful Relationships

Engaging in healthy, meaningful relationships is the catalyst for happiness.

The keywords are healthy and meaningful.

Here are some important characteristics of such a relationship:

• Strong communication: you both deeply listen to each other.
• Honesty: you are truthful and don’t do things behind each others backs.
• Integrity: you both follow through on commitments made to each other.
• Mutual respect: you respect the ideas, values, and beliefs of the other person and vice versa.

Of course, there are more characteristics to consider. And it’s crucial to communicate and share your important values.

#11: Have a Powerful Morning Routine

Most people snooze their alarm first thing in the morning. Then, they rush to get to work. Not a great start to the day.

What if you set up your morning to feel great instead of rushing?

What if you include something that excites you?

Morning routines can help you to set the tone for the day. Here are some of my favorite ideas to create a good morning routine :

• Exercise the mind: read a life-changing book for example.
• Exercise the body: there isn’t a better way to fire up your day than exercising. A short intense workout is all you need.
• Exercise the spirit: meditation or some form of breathing exercise can be great to feel centered.
• Journaling: set your goals, intention, and priorities for the day. Quick options include The Five Minute Journal or one of the best guided journals of this list .
• Whatever else excites you to wake up.

Empower yourself and start the day feeling great with a morning routine. 

#12: Lean into Your Strengths

You have a choice: you can spend your time improving your weaknesses or you focus on your strengths.

Of course, not all weaknesses should be ignored. Some skills are necessary to develop, even if it’s not a direct skill needed in your area of expertise. Communication skills are a good example.

However, mainly focusing on your strengths is an easy way to increase your success and happiness. 

For success, it helps because the world is ultra-competitive. And if you focus on your weakness, you will never reach the peak of your potential.

For happiness, focusing on strengths is beneficial too because stuff will come more naturally to you. In general, you will experience more joy in developing yourself further in those areas. 

#13: Find Your Purpose

A purpose is a big goal or vision for your life. It helps you grow and it also gives meaning to your suffering. A sense of purpose motivates you into action and propels you forward.

And after all, happiness comes from action, not inaction. It also comes from making progress and personal growth.

And a purpose fulfills all those needs. 

So how do you find yours? 

That’s what we already covered in the definitive guide: finding your purpose .

#14: Using Affirmations

Whatever you (unconsciously) hear most of the time becomes a belief. That’s why affirmations work so well. 

Using affirmations is nothing more than repeating a sentence out loud.

For example, I’m happy because I am alive, healthy, and free.

Do positive affirmations like this work?

Yes. Psychologists widely accept this claim . But only if you do practice it consistently over the long term.

In other words: it’s not a magic pill.

Is this something you would like to try out? Then make sure to commit to this practice for at least a month to reap its benefits for happiness.

#15: Eat Healthy

Let’s finish this list with an important ingredient to feeling good:

Eat more whole foods and less processed stuff.

The choice of happiness can’t be more simple than that. Though in practice, it can be challenging. Because don’t we all pick convenience over health from time to time?

And that’s okay.

At least, if you make nutritious foods the main part of your diet. And here are some tips to make this choice a little easier:

• Cook in bigger batches.
• Prepare some of your meals in advance.
• Learn some healthy recipes that you truly enjoy eating.
• Surround yourself with healthy snacks like fruits.
• Don’t buy (a lot of) unhealthy processed things.

You are what you eat. And you will feel so much better if you eat less processed foods and more of the good stuff.

Conclusion: Happiness is a Decision

Happiness is a choice most people don’t take consciously.

Though that doesn’t mean you can always choose to be happy. Life happens. Challenges occur. And even birth itself comes with the necessary portion of suffering.

That said, much of all suffering is self-inflicted.

People stay in misery for much longer than necessary. You can choose to feel happier every day and in this article, we covered 15 ways to do so. 

If you enjoyed this post, make sure to sign up below to the newsletter for more tips on success and happiness.

Related Articles

• What is success and how to achieve it?
• Best books to read in your 20s
• Best books on how to be happy

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Essay on Happiness

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Happiness is defined by different people in different ways. When we feel positive emotions we tend to feel happy. That is what happiness is all about. Happiness is also regarded as the mental state of a person in an optimistic manner.

Every person defines happiness in his/her own manner. In whatever manner you may define happiness; the truth is that it is vital for a healthy and prosperous life.

In order to make students understand what true happiness is all about, we have prepared short essays for students which shall enlighten them further on this topic.

Audience: The below given essays are exclusively written for school students (Class 3, 4 ,5, 6 and 7 Standard).

Introduction:

Happiness is a state of mind and the feeling expressed when things are going great. It is what we feel when we get our first car, buy a new house or graduate with the best grades. Happiness should be distinguished from joy. When joy is a constant state of mind, happiness depends on events in our lives.

Importance of Happiness:

The opposite of happiness is sadness which is a state of negativity in the mindset. When we remain sad for an extended period of time it can lead to depression. To avoid this state of mind we must always remind ourselves of happenings in our lives that made us happy.

Conclusion:

Though life throws countless challenges at us on a daily basis, if we drown in those challenges we would definitely become depressed. It is important that we find positive things in our daily lives to get excited about and feel the happiness.

Happiness is a state of mind which makes you feel accomplished in life and having everything in this world without a single reason to repent. Well, although there can be no perfect definition of happiness; happiness is when you feel you’re at the top of the world where a sense of complete satisfaction prevails.

The meaning of happiness is relative and varies from people to people. For some, happiness is when you experience professional success, reunions with family and friends, eating out, reading books or watching good movies. While for others, happiness can be accomplished by some weekend activities which might help you de-stress and get the satisfaction of mind.

If you involve yourself in social activities where you help the needy and provide support to the weaker section of the society, you can experience happiness if not anything else. When a young boy flies a kite, plays with mud, and watches the nature, for him, that is the greatest happiness in the world.

The happiness of mind is often considered quite contrary to jealousy and anger which you experience once you have failed or unaccomplished any desired goal. You should always try to rehearse the ways of keeping yourself satisfied and keeping away from negativity to experience peace and happiness in life. True happiness begins where desire ends!

What is happiness? It is a state of being happy. But it does not mean to be happy all the time. Happiness is a feeling of something good that is happening in our life. We feel happy when we achieve something. But happiness is spread when our dear one is happy as well. Some people find true happiness in playing with their pets, while some may find happiness in staying engaged in creative work.

Happiness is often derived from channelizing thoughts to positive thinking. However, it is not as simple as it may sound.

To achieve the state of complete happiness one has to practice on improving the state of life by:

1. Staying contended in life with what you have. Cribbing and grumbling never lead to happiness.

2. Staying focused on the current life instead of daydreaming of the good days or old days.

3. Stop blaming for something that went terribly wrong in life. The life is all about moving on. Stop worrying and set new goals in life.

4. Being thankful to God for all the good things that you have in your life.

5. Having good people around you who can boost up positivity in your life.

Everyone desires to be happy in life. Happiness cannot be achieved without establishing complete control of one’s thoughts as it is very easy to be carried away by the waves of thoughts and emotions surrounding us. Remind yourself of the good things of your life and be thankful about it.

What is happiness? Some would state that happiness implies being well off. Others would state that for them, happiness intends to be sound. You will discover individuals saying that for them happiness implies having love in their life, having numerous companions, a great job, or accomplishing a specific objective. There are individuals, who trust that the want of a specific wish would make happiness in their life; however, it may not be so. Having true happiness is something which is desired by all.

The Path to Happiness:

There are small things which when incorporated into our daily lives, can lead us to the path of happiness. For instance, instead of thinking about problems, we should actually be thinking about the solutions. Not only will we be happier but we shall also be able to solve our problems faster. Similarly, once in a while, you start the day with the longing to achieve a few targets. Toward the day’s end, you may feel disappointed and miserable, in light of the fact that you haven’t possessed the capacity to do those things. Take a look at what you have done, not at what you have not possessed the capacity to do. Regularly, regardless of whether you have achieved a ton amid the day, you let yourself feel disappointed, due to some minor assignments you didn’t achieve. This takes away happiness from you.

Again, now and then, you go throughout the day effectively completing numerous plans, yet as opposed to feeling cheerful and fulfilled, you see what was not cultivated and feel troubled. It is out of line towards you.

Each day accomplishes something good which you enjoy doing. It may tend to be something little, such as purchasing a book, eating something you cherish, viewing your most loved program on TV, heading out to a motion picture, or simply having a walk around the shoreline. Even small things can bring great levels of happiness in our lives and motivate us for new goals.

Happiness is not what you feel from outside, rather it is something which comes from your inner soul. We should find happiness in us rather than searching for it in worldly desires.

Happiness is defined by different people in different ways. Some find happiness in having a luxurious life while some find it in having loving people around them rather than money. True happiness lies within us and our expectation of happiness. It is something that should be felt and cannot be explained in words.

Even though this simple word has a lot of meaning hidden in it, many fail to understand the real one or feel the real happiness. Finding happiness in the outer world is the main reason for this failure. Nothing can buy you happiness, whether be the favorite thing you desire for or the person you love the most or the career you build, unless and until you feel it within yourself.

Ways to be Happy:

Bring happiness and soulful life to yourself rather than expecting it from the outside world like things, money, etc. Being happy is not as easy as advised to be one happier person. To be content and happy with whatever you have and yourself it takes time and patience. You should practice to be a happier person in all moments and eventually you will notice that no sorrow can sink you down.

Whatever good or bad happened in your past shouldn’t bother your present. Learn to live today with more happiness than yesterday and forget about your past sadness for a harmonious life. Thankfulness to the life you got is another important character you should acquire to be happy. If you compare yourself with someone with better luxurious life, then you will never be happy or content and do it the other way.

Don’t depress your mind with bad and negative thoughts about yourself and around. Try to find every goodness in a situation you face and accept the things that already happened, whether good or bad. Never forget to choose merrier and positive people to be closer to you so that their vibes will also help you in being one merrier person.

Whenever you feel low and depressed never hesitate to go to those around you to find happiness. But be aware of those negative ones that may pull you even deeper into the bad thoughts. Always surround yourself with positive thinking and motivating people so that you can rise higher even from the deepest fall.

Happiness is nothing but a feeling that will be seeded into your soul only if you wish to and nothing other than yourself can indulge this feeling in you. Don’t spoil your life finding happiness somewhere else.

Happiness is a very complicated thing. Happiness can be used both in emotional or mental state context and can vary largely from a feeling from contentment to very intense feeling of joy. It can also mean a life of satisfaction, good well-being and so many more. Happiness is a very difficult phenomenon to use words to describe as it is something that can be felt only. Happiness is very important if we want to lead a very good life. Sadly, happiness is absent from the lives of a lot of people nowadays. We all have our own very different concept of happiness. Some of us are of the opinion that we can get happiness through money, others believe they can only get true happiness in relationships, some even feel that happiness can only be gotten when they are excelling in their profession.

As we might probably know, happiness is nothing more than the state of one being content and happy. A lot of people in the past, present and some (even in the future will) have tried to define and explain what they think happiness really is. So far, the most reasonable one is the one that sees happiness as something that can only come from within a person and should not be sought for outside in the world.

Some very important points about happiness are discussed below:

1. Happiness can’t be bought with Money:

A lot of us try to find happiness where it is not. We associate and equate money with happiness. If at all there is happiness in money then all of the rich people we have around us would never feel sad. What we have come to see is that even the rich amongst us are the ones that suffer depression, relationship problems, stress, fear and even anxiousness. A lot of celebrities and successful people have committed suicide, this goes a long way to show that money or fame does not guarantee happiness. This does not mean that it is a bad thing to be rich and go after money. When you have money, you can afford many things that can make you and those around you very happy.

2. Happiness can only come from within:

There is a saying that explains that one can only get true happiness when one comes to the realisation that only one can make himself/herself happy. We can only find true happiness within ourselves and we can’t find it in other people. This saying and its meaning is always hammered on in different places but we still refuse to fully understand it and put it into good use. It is very important that we understand that happiness is nothing more than the state of a person’s mind. Happiness cannot come from all the physical things we see around us. Only we through our positive emotions that we can get through good thoughts have the ability to create true happiness.

Our emotions are created by our thoughts. Therefore, it is very important that we work on having only positive thoughts and this can be achieved when we see life in a positive light.

Happiness is desired by every person. However, there are very few persons that attain happiness easily in life.

It is quite tough to get happiness in life as people usually link it with the things and the people around them. The simple fact is that happiness usually starts as well as finishes with your own life. All those people who understand this fact easily get the true happiness in their life.

Happiness in Relationships:

There are lots of people who link happiness with the money and there are few others also who link it with the personal relations. It is very important to know that if you are not happy with yourself then, it is not possible to remain happy in your relationship as well.

The problems in the relationship have been increasing speedily and the main cause behind it is the huge amount of expectation that we have from the other individual. We always want them to make us feel happy. For example, some people feel happy if their partner plans a surprise for them or if he/she buy them a new dress. But all these things are not a true source of happiness in life.

Ways of Developing Happiness:

The lack of happiness in the relationship not only exists in couples but also in the relationship of friends, sister – brother or parent-child.

The following are the few ways that help in creating happiness in the relationships:

1. Pay Attention to Yourself:

You should always pay attention to yourself to get happiness. You should not give importance to any other person in your life in comparison to yourself and also expect the same from that person. Giving too much importance to the other and not receiving anything back from them makes a person disappointed and happiness gets lost.

2. Have some Initiative:

You can make the plan of traveling outside yourself. Don’t wait for your parent, partner or kid to take you outside. You can ask them to come along with you if they want. But, if they decline your offer then, don’t get discouraged and carry on your trip plan along with full happiness.

3. Provide some Space:

It is necessary to provide some amount of space to every individual and spend some time with oneself. It helps in creating happiness.

Happiness is Necessary for Good Life:

It does not matter that whether you are a working expert, a schoolchild, a retired person or a housewife, happiness is necessary for everybody to live a good and happy life. Happiness is essential for an individual’s emotional comfort. A person who is not fit emotionally will feel an impact on his complete health that will drain very soon.

Unluckily, despite the fact that happiness is tremendously necessary, people do not give so much importance to all those habits which can keep them happy. They are so excessively captivated inside their professional lives as well as other nuts and bolts of life that they overlook to relish the happy memories of their life. It is also the main reason that problems like anxiety, stress, and depression are increasing gradually in people’s lives today.

Happiness is an internal feeling. It is a healthy emotion. Happiness helps us to stay fit both mentally and physically. Happiness helps in lowering stress and keeping away from any health issues. The reason of happiness may be different for different person. You just need to find out what actually makes you happy. So, if you want real happiness in life then, you need to understand that only you can make yourself happy.

“There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way” this sentence has been attributed to Buddha. Well, at least that’s what it says on one sticker in my dorm room. The fact is that man has occupied himself with the path to happiness for millennia. Something happened during our evolution that made us deeply question the purpose of our existence. People like Buddha are part of the answer, or at least they try to give us the answer.

Since these questions have troubled us there have been many who sought to answer them and by doing so, they formed philosophies and religions. The search for earthly happiness will make many do incredible deeds but if this energy is used in the wrong way it can cause great suffering. How can we know which recipe for happiness is the best one and what we should devote our time and attention to? The trick is, there is no right answer and as the first sentence of this essay states, there is no way to be happy because being happy is the way. That’s how I got my head around this problem, let me explain some more.

Source of Suffering:

At the expense of sounding Buddhist, when you think about most of the things that make us unhappy are material in nature. They are the things that we really do not need but they make us feel happy. This notion is not just something the wise man from the 6 th century BC India expressed but many more have said this before and after him. Socrates and Jesus to name just a few.

What I find interesting in the struggle for happiness is the paradox present in the instructions to reach it. One has a  thought all through life to be good and hard working so he can get the things he wants and needs later on in life but then as you start to struggle for the money you realize that your life is turning into a money grabbing game. So, the source of happiness and stability becomes the source of all your anxiety and aggression. Naturally, we can see how some people thought that all material things stand on the path to our happiness.

But what about the immaterial, what if you are in love with someone you are not supposed to love? The above instruction would tell you to surrender your heart’s desire and you will be free from constraints. Is this happiness? Or is it the struggle to do and achieve the impossible the real source of happiness?

Source of Happiness:

People often forget that they are animals and like all of them they have a logic to their nature and their own specific needs. Like all the other animal’s people are caught in the struggle for existence and sometimes surviving the day can be a real ordeal if you get caught in the wrong circumstances. Men has made himself safe from most of the things that could have harmed him in nature but in doing so he forgot what he has made.

Think about the present from a historical perspective. Even a hundred years ago most people lost up to 80% of all their children to diseases, clean water was a rarity for most of our existence, and people actually had to labor to make food and to have enough to feed their family all through the year. The fact is we have a lot to be grateful for in the present age and the fact that some of us are unhappy because we do not have all our heart’s desires is just a symptom of collective infancy. Having all of your loved ones around you, with a roof to shelter under and with lots of delicious food is the only source of happiness man needs everything else should just be a bonus.

Happiness cannot be found by rejecting everything that is material or by earning more money then you can spend. The trick is to find balance by looking at yourself and the lives of people around you and by understanding that there is a lot to be grateful for, the trick is to stop searching for a path and to understand that we are already walking on one. As long as we are making any type of list of the prerequisite for our life of happiness, we will end up unsatisfied because life does not grant wishes we are the ones that make them come true. Often the biggest change in our lives comes from a simple change of perspective rather than from anything we can own.

Happiness is the state of emotional wellbeing and being contented. Happiness is expressed through joyful moments and smiles. It is a desirable feeling that everybody want to have at all times. Being happy is influenced by situations, achievements and other circumstances. Happiness is an inner quality that reflects on the state of mind. A peaceful state of mind is considered to be happiness. The emotional state of happiness is mixture of feelings of joy, satisfaction, gratitude, euphoria and victory.

How happiness is achieved:

Happiness is achieved psychologically through having a peaceful state of mind. By a free state of mind, I mean that there should be no stressful factors to think about. Happiness is also achieved through accomplishment of goals that are set by individuals. There is always happiness that accompanies success and they present feelings of triumph and contentment.

To enable personal happiness in life, it is important that a person puts himself first and have good self-perception. Putting what makes you happy first, instead of putting other people or other things first is a true quest towards happiness. In life, people tend to disappoint and putting them as a priority always reduces happiness for individuals. There is also the concept of practicing self-love and self-acceptance. Loving oneself is the key to happiness because it will mean that it will not be hard to put yourself first when making decisions.

It is important for an individual to control the thoughts that goes on in their heads. A peaceful state of mind is achieved when thoughts are at peace. It is recommended that things that cause a stressful state of mind should be avoided.

Happiness is a personal decision that is influenced by choices made. There is a common phrase on happiness; “happiness is a choice” which is very true because people choose if they want to be happy or not. Happiness is caused by circumstances and people have the liberty to choose those circumstance and get away from those that make them unhappy.

Happiness is also achieved through the kind of support system that an individual has. Having a family or friends that are supportive will enable the achievement of happiness. Communicating and interacting with the outside world is important.

Factors Affecting Happiness:

Sleep patterns influence the state of mind thus influence happiness. Having enough sleep always leads to happy mornings and a good state of mind for rest of the day. Sleep that is adequate also affects the appearance of a person. There is satisfaction that comes with having enough sleep. Enough rest increases performance and productivity of an individual and thus more successes and achievements are realized and happiness is experienced.

Another factor affecting happiness is the support network of an individual. A strong support network of family and friends results in more happiness. Establishing good relationships with neighbors, friends and family through regular interactions brings more happiness to an individual. With support network, the incidences of stressful moments will be reduced because your family and friends will always be of help.

Sexual satisfaction has been established to affect happiness. It is not just about getting the right partner anymore. It is about having a partner that will satisfy you sexually. There is a relationship between sex and happiness because of the hormones secreted during sexual intercourse. The hormone is called oxytocin and responsible for the happiness due to sexual satisfaction. Satisfaction also strengthens the relationships between the partners and that creates happiness.

Wealth also plays a significant role in happiness. There is a common phrase that is against money and happiness: “money cannot buy happiness” is this true? Personally, I believe that being financially stable contributes to happiness because you will always have peace of mind and many achievements. Peace of mind is possible for wealthy people because they do not have stressors here and then compared to poor people. Also, when a person is wealthy, they can afford to engage in luxurious activities that relaxes the mind and create happiness. For a person to be wealthy, they will have had many achievements in life. These achievement make them happy.

A good state of health is an important factor that influences the happiness of individuals. A healthy person will be happy because there are no worries of diseases or pain that they are experiencing. When a person is healthy, their state of mind is at peace because they are not afraid of death or any other health concerns. Not only the health of individuals is important, but also the health of the support system of the person. Friends and family’s state of health will always have an impact on what we feel as individuals because we care about them and we get worried whenever they are having bad health.

Communication and interactions are important in relation to an individual’s happiness. Having a support system is not enough because people need to communicate and interact freely. Whenever there are interactions like a social gathering where people talk and eat together, more happiness is experienced. This concept is witnessed in parties because people are always laughing and smiling in parties whenever they are with friends.

Communication is key to happiness because it helps in problem solving and relieving stressors in life. Sharing experiences with a support system creates a state of wellbeing after the solution is sought. Sometime when I am sad, I take my phone and call a friend or a family member and by the time the phone call is over, I always feel better and relieved of my worries.

Happiness is an important emotion that influences how we live and feel on a daily basis. Happiness is achieved in simple ways. People have the liberty to choose happiness because we are not bound by any circumstances for life. Factors that influence happiness are those that contribute to emotional wellbeing. Physical wellbeing also affects happiness. Every individual finds happiness in their own because they know what makes them happy and what doesn’t.

Emotions , Happiness , Psychology

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Is Happiness a Choice? (And 5 Strategies to Help!)

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Is it a simple yes or a quick no ? Would you pause, uncertain how to answer? Do you even know if you are happy or not? Or, do you need to follow up with a question (or a few like I would): “Do you mean, am I happy now, at this moment?” or “Do you mean in general?” 

You’ve probably heard that happiness is a choice . But is it really? Is feeling happy that easy? 

You simply choose to be happy, right? And like a magic wand you wave over yourself, you are happy. All the sadness, anger, grief, and other non-happy emotions simply disappear as if they never existed in the first place because you are now happy . 

Life doesn’t quite work like that. While you can choose to be happy in some instances, you can’t always be happy in every instance. 

But let’s dive into the research to see if happiness is a decision you can make. I’ve also got the best strategies to improve your overall long-term happy feelings. 

Table of Contents

Is Happiness a Choice? 

“ Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be .” ~ Abraham Lincoln  

Initially, it sounds wonderful to hear that happiness is a choice. Like Abraham Lincoln says, you are as happy as you think you are (and want to be). 

Like a switch you flip on and off, you can decide to be happy or you can decide to be unhappy. And who wants to be unhappy, right? So if happiness is a choice, you’ll keep that switch on , from now until eternity (or your last moment). 

When you dive deeper into the “happiness is a choice” statement, you have to wonder how exactly it becomes a choice . In her book, The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want , Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor, states that you have a happiness set point . 

This point is determined by your genetics (50%), while 40% of your capacity for happiness is in your power . The remaining 10% depends on your life circumstances . 

So while you have some power to choose happiness and how happy you are, research also indicates that when you are positive (and happy) to the point of being toxic about it – and dismiss how you really feel because you have to be positive, good, and happy – you experience negative mental health and physical effects .

When you have a crappy moment , and you try to always reframe that in a positive light, you are denying what you are feeling .

Sometimes you just have to be angry, sad, or disappointed, and telling yourself that you have to “snap out of it” isn’t being loving, compassionate, or kind to yourself . Your self-chastisement comes from a place of shame. 

So when you believe that you should always think happy thoughts and choose happiness, you buy into the idea that you can always control how you feel . 

An emotion is meant to be experienced , so when you are truly happy (because you got the job), you experience joy while if you are sad (because your dog died), you experience sadness.

However, you can control what you think but how you feel is dependent on various other factors like your mental state and circumstances (which are often out of your control).

5 Reasons Why Happiness Isn’t a Choice – Most of the Time 

Here’s why I don’t believe that happiness is a choice (most of the time): 

1. Your Mental Health Influences How You Feel 

If you could choose to be happy, you’d do it in a heartbeat and that would be your permanent mental state. But no one is ever 100% happy 100% of the time . Why? 

For one, your mental health has a significant influence over how you feel. Your mental health works on a continuum , and at any given moment, you are somewhere on that line, whether it’s ecstatic with joy in this instance and down in the dumps the next.

Of course, it’s not always this extreme, and if it is, please speak to a mental health professional. 

If you are dealing with a mental health issue like anxiety or depression , a simple “pick me up” like choosing joy will feel like an impossible mountain to climb. And at the end of the day, you are setting yourself up for failure trying to find this elusive happiness cloud.

Trying to choose happiness is unrealistic and unhelpful , and honestly, it can make anyone who is unhappy feel even worse .

When you can’t be happy (even though you desperately want to feel happy), you can feel like it’s a personal failure and that there’s something wrong with you because happiness isn’t something you can succeed at. 

It’s far healthier to validate your feelings and experience all your emotions as you are feeling them. 

2. Happiness Isn’t the Only Emotion We Experience 

Choosing happiness is such an oversimplification because we experience so many emotions.

We experience eight basic, universal emotions : sadness, anger, surprise, anticipation, disgust, joy, fear, and contempt. However, depending on the source, there are anywhere from 27 distinct emotions to 34,000 emotions . 

Plus, while we often use the terms “emotions” and “feelings” interchangeably, in the world of psychology, these are not the same. Feelings are what we experience at a conscious level while emotions belong in our subconscious .

As such, while you can identify what you feel, you may never be able to pinpoint exactly what your emotion is.

And at the end of the day, you can only lead a fulfilling and meaningful life when you understand and experience a range of emotions (and feelings).

3. Happiness Is Unique and a Complicated Emotion 

What does happiness mean to you? If you ask your best friend, child, family member, colleague, or significant other what happiness is, do they have the same view of the emotion as you do? 

Just like we see colors and the world uniquely , so too do we define and experience emotions differently. 

Studies have found that there’s a correlation to how happy you are based on your socioeconomic status . And there are also relationships between happiness and gender, age , and geographic locations . 

It’s no surprise that the 2023 World Happiness Ranking has found Finland to be the happiest country – for the 6th consecutive year – while countries like Afghanistan, Lebanon, Sierra Leone, and Zimbabwe rank at the bottom. 

So while some elements of being happy are in your control, others aren’t. And since happiness is a unique and complicated emotion that’s the result of a mix of elements (and emotions), how do you choose happiness when it isn’t universally the same ?

4. Happiness Must Be Experienced 

You can’t choose to be happy and then simply be happy. It is an emotion you have to experience . For example, you can learn or choose to be positive, and when you practice including  more positivity in your life, you get better at it. 

With happiness, you can’t really learn to be happier (but what does that mean exactly?) and you can’t force yourself to be happy when you aren’t. While you can fake happiness, that isn’t true joy.

Furthermore, emotions are fleeting – they come and go. You can feel a burst of happiness when you get a new job, pass your exam, or move to the next level of your game, but this happy emotion fades until you hit the next happiness high. 

5. Falling into the Happiness Trap 

Does it benefit you to believe that happiness is a choice? Dr. Russ Harris doesn’t believe it does, and focusing on always being happy only leads you into what he coins the happiness trap .

Harris states that being perpetually happy is not realistic or desirable , and like I already said, we all experience a range of emotions (of which happiness is merely one). 

His book, The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living: A Guide to ACT , explains how pursuing happiness merely makes you miserable , more anxious, and depressed.

Following the acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) based steps Harris outlines in the book, you can rather mindfully accept what you experience and then choose actions that align with your values . 

Instead of chasing happiness (and not finding that pot of gold at the end of the imaginary rainbow), you can live a rich and meaningful (and real) life (and call that happiness). 

5 Simple Strategies to Improve Your Long-Term Happiness 

While pursuing happiness isn’t a great idea (as it sets you up for failure), you can work on experiencing more happiness in life.

Whether you live a comfortable life with many opportunities for happiness or you have days laden with challenges , you can choose to feel happiness when it crosses your path. 

Like watching a butterfly flitter across your path with absolute pleasure, you can also stop and savor happiness when it wings past. 

Here are the best strategies to identify and enjoy happiness daily (and it’ll improve how happy you are in the long term too). 

Strategy #1: Practice Gratitude & Count Your Blessings 

If you look for something , you will find it. So if you focus on bad things in life, you will see more bad things. You can train your brain to focus on better things, which will make you more aware of great things around you. 

All that remains is to practice gratitude (which is about enjoying the happiness you’ve found or made) and count your blessings . Being more aware of great things and seeing the possibility for joy in life is what will attract more benefits to you.

 Awareness can be practiced with intentional gratitude and journaling to count your blessings. 

How to be grateful? 

• Journal daily to record happy moments
• Use neuro linguistic programming (NLP) to remind you when you see or experience joy and happiness (tell yourself you are happy right now)
• Keep a gratitude jar
• Volunteer as an expression of gratitude

Strategy #2: Smile 

Smiling brings a release of feel-good hormones, which help shift your mindset from “down and out” to “ ready and happy to face the world.” As the quote by Thích Nhất Hạnh states: “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” 

Make smiling part of your day and feel the way your curved lips can lift your soul. Even better, find things to smile at least every 15 minutes . 

How to smile more? 

• Start each morning with a smile
• Focus on making others smile and you will too
• Choose a quote daily (or a meme) to make you smile

Strategy #3: Find Your Ikigai 

When you live your best life , you live with passion. This passion is what gives you purpose , meaning, and ultimately, happiness. Look for your passion or ikigai , which is Japanese for the meaning of life. 

It’s not something grand and huge. Instead, it’s the reason to get out of bed in the morning, to smile, and to be happy . 

Your ikigai can be anything , from helping kids in the neighborhood safely cross the big intersection and doing crafts with your community elders to brighten their day to a freshly brewed cup of tea (enjoyed on your balcony or window seat). 

How to find your ikigai? 

• Take time to write down what you love doing and identify a common theme. This is your ikigai

Strategy #4: Love and Care for Yourself 

When last did you give yourself some TLC ? Happiness is often found in a bath filled with sweet-scented bubbles or a quiet morning in the car with your favorite music . 

It’s not about doing a big thing like going away on a month-long cruise . Instead, good old-fashioned self-care is about taking better care of yourself, meeting your needs, and nurturing the garden that your joy flowers in. 

How to self-care and self-love? 

• Set aside time at least once a week to do some introspection and self-care  
• Follow some of our handy self-care templates and don’t forget to keep to a self-care checklist to ensure you are really nurturing yourself 

Strategy #5: Adopt a Growth Mindset 

If you only focus on what you lack , you will feel like you’re on the short end of life’s stick and always need to guard what little you have, while squabbling for what you can grab. This is not a healthy mindset and it leads to negativity. 

Instead, cultivate a growth or abundance mindset . Start seeing all you have (yip, the first strategy of gratitude), and gently remind yourself that there’s nothing you need . (Nope, you don’t need that winning lottery ticket.)

When you focus on what you have and how you can use it , you will ignite your ikigai and live with greater self-awareness and thrive . There’s nothing you can’t achieve if you believe in it. 

How to adopt an abundance mindset? 

• Use affirmations to counter negative thoughts that can hold back your growth 

Final Thoughts about “Is Happiness a Choice?” 

Unhappiness can’t be the departure point of your journey to happiness . It’s like chasing a butterfly – you may eventually catch it, but it will only die.

Instead, focus on this moment , the beauty around you, the will in you, and the passion you can explore, and before you know it, the butterfly will be attracted to land on you. 

Remember, you can choose actions like being grateful, focusing on your ikigai, and loving yourself, but you can’t choose how you feel. Experience your emotions (whether that’s happiness or sadness), let it be, and let it go. 

Happiness can result from daily decisions . Choosing to experience joy and happiness isn’t about forcing it on yourself but rather to develop a mindset where you experience these feelings as they happen.

Decide each day you will focus on seeing happiness and joy-worthy moments .  Learn more about why happiness is important so you can find your motivation to live each day aware of the blessings in your life.

And if you want more articles about happiness, be sure to check out these blog posts:

• Do Pets Bring Happiness? A Simple Answer
• 43 Best Songs About Happiness and Good Times
• What Is Hygge Living (And Is It the Key to True Happiness)?

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Why Happiness is not Always a Choice (+5 Tips on Dealing With it)

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Updated on January 29, 2023

Chances are, you’ve come across at least one print art in your life with some version of the words: ‘happy thoughts only.’ Although these phrases are well-intentioned, they mistakenly suggest that we always have control over our happiness. As much as I wish this was true, it’s simply not the case. 

Happiness is determined by a vast range of complex internal and external factors. A happy life is reasonably achievable for most of us, but for some, happiness is significantly more difficult to obtain. There are factors beyond our control that impede happiness such as socioeconomic status, genetics, and mental illness. However, just because you’re not able to choose happiness right now doesn’t mean that you never will. With the right perspective, resources, and support, happiness can be within reach. 

In this article, I’ll explore the various factors that unfairly hinder happiness for some people and the strategies to help you cope with these circumstances.

Can happiness be hereditary? 

Factors beyond our control that deter happiness , 1. practice gratitude daily , 2. create a self-care routine , 3. assess your relationships , 4. embrace yin and yang , 5. seek professional help , closing words.

Although happiness is a choice for the most part, it turns out some humans are born with a greater disposition for happiness. 

Your genetics may not guarantee happiness, but they do determine your personality to some extent. A study on the genetics of personality discovered that some people are born with personalities capable of creating an ‘affective reserve.’ These people are able to use this reserve of happiness to cope better with life’s difficulties. 

While happiness is attainable for most of us, it’s a lot more difficult for some people. Some are at a disadvantage, while others are simply not wired for it. 

It’s significantly easier for those with greater access to resources to choose happiness. A study suggests a correlation between quality of life and life satisfaction. People who lack security, financial stability, and spiritual harmony report lower levels of happiness.

Another study found happiness to be higher among people with access to financial resources and social support. Those who are better off financially experience higher levels of life satisfaction. When you have access to support such as therapy, it becomes easier to determine and overcome the factors in the way of your happiness.

While access to therapy does help, it’s significantly more challenging for those with mental illness to choose happiness. According to one study , mental health is the strongest indicator of happiness. Those who suffer from a mental illness are less likely to be happy than those who don’t. 

Tips on how to deal with it 

As much as we wish we could simply wake up and choose happiness, that’s not always possible. Regardless of whatever circumstance in your life is preventing you from being happy, here 5 tips to help you deal with it. 

There’s a reason why every self-help book seems to contain a chapter on gratitude. Gratitude is consistently linked with greater happiness . Those who are more grateful tend to experience more positive emotions and blissful moments. It also helps people cope better with difficult situations and negative emotions. 

I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness – it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude. Brené Brown

Gratitude teaches you to acknowledge the good things that come your way. It trains your mind to notice goodness even in the most unexpected places. From the kind stranger who held the door open for you at the coffee shop to the way the sky looks at sunset, gratitude allows you to appreciate what you typically overlook. This makes it easier to find moments of joy in the mundane. 

The practice of being thankful for something at least once a day can dramatically shift your life perspective. To start a gratitude practice, take a few moments before bed each night to reflect on the day’s events. Try your best to name at least one thing you’re grateful for. The more you can name, the better. It’s also a good idea to write them down in a journal. This way, you can look back and read about all the good things that have happened to you. 

When you feel at your worst, your self-care often suffers. Ironically, this is when you need self-care the most. This is why it’s essential to create a self-care routine that eventually becomes a habit. 

You might not be able to choose happiness, but you can choose to take care of yourself. A self-care routine is a powerful antidote to life’s biggest stressors. True self-care, the type that goes beyond bubble baths and a tub of ice cream, isn’t always easy. It means showing up for yourself even when you don’t feel like it.  

If you’re interested in building a self-care routine, here are a few ideas to consider including in your daily routine: 

• Sleep for at least 7 hours. 
• Make the bed in the morning. 
• Meditate. 
• Go for a walk. 
• Prepare nutritious meals for yourself. 
• Exercise. 
• Drink at least 8 cups of water. 
• Journal. 
• Read a book before bed. 
• Practice gratitude. 

When you invest the time and energy into taking care of your well-being, you give yourself your best chance of being happy. 

Numerous studies have shown that the quality of your relationships influences your happiness. The longest study on happiness ever conducted found that people who are satisfied in their relationships live longer and happier lives. Therefore, it’s crucial to invest time and effort into the relationships that matter most to you. 

On the other hand, if you’re in an unhealthy relationship, it’s possible that might be contributing to your lack of happiness. Your relationships are meant to support and uplift you, not drain your energy or make you feel small. 

To assess the health of your relationships, ask yourself the following questions: 

• Can I be fully myself around this person? 
• Can I communicate with them openly about anything? 
• Do I trust this person to be honest with me? Can I be honest with them? 
• Does my chest feel lighter or heavier when I’m with them? 
• Do they respect my boundaries? 

It’s important to examine your relationships and identify those that are unhealthy. Remember that it’s okay to walk away from relationships that no longer serve you. 

The complex philosophy of yin and yang or yin-yang has been around for over a thousand years. It’s a beautiful concept with roots in Taoism that essentially explains the balance that permeates all aspects of life. According to this philosophy, seemingly opposite forces such as light and dark are actually deeply interconnected.

This means that without pain and sorrow, we wouldn’t be able to fully experience happiness. The worst moments of your life make your best ones all the more meaningful. Yin-yang suggests that pain and suffering are necessary human experiences that allow happiness to be possible. 

The wound is the place where the Light enters you. Rumi

So if you’re going through dark days, keep going. If yin-yang is right, brighter days are bound to come soon. You might not be able to choose happiness today, but someday, you will. Life will balance itself out. 

Happiness is often not a choice for anyone suffering from mental illness. If anxiety or depression is preventing you from experiencing happiness, consider seeking professional help. Your mental illness is not your fault, and you are certainly not alone. But it can be tough to remember this without the proper support. 

It’s possible that a chemical imbalance in your brain is the barrier between you and happiness. A therapist can prescribe medication to help you regulate your mood and gain back control over your life. You may not be able to choose happiness while suffering from a mental illness, but you can make the brave choice to go to therapy.

💡 By the way : If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here. 👇

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Even though happiness is not always a choice, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to improve your life. Learning how to deal with negativity, connecting with people on a regular basis, volunteering and improving your habits can all help you become a happier person. Happiness might not always be a choice, but loving yourself and improving your life can be.

Writer and recovering perfectionist from Canada. A huge fan of stories, empathy, and matcha lattes. May or may not have a tendency to cry at everything especially acts of kindness.

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