why should i believe in myself essay

• Skip to primary navigation
• Skip to main content
• Skip to primary sidebar

Student Essays

Essays-Paragraphs-Speeches

5 Essays on Believe in Yourself | Self Belief, Meaning & Importance

Leave a Comment

Self belief is the most important thing in life which helps a person to fight against all odds and achieve success in their lives by leading a happy and contended life. Self belief does not come overnight, it comes with efforts and then only you can achieve your goal easily. Read the following short and long essay for students on self belief.

List of Topics

Essay on Self Belief | Meaning, Importance of Self Belief For Children and Students

Self belief is defined as a feeling or consciousness of one’s own powers or of reliance on one’s own efforts. In simple words, self-belief is a strong faith and confidence in yourself.

If you have self belief then others will believe that you can achieve anything what ever you want to do. You will feel strong and active within yourself. You will be able to face any difficult situation or circumstances with courage and confidence. You will not lose hope in your abilities and skills even if you face many hurdles on the way.

However, if you lack self-belief others will not have faith in you. You may not be able to make a success of your life because of lack of motivation and strength from within. In other words, this means that the road to success is only for those who do have a strong belief in themselves. Self-confidence without self-belief is of little use.

>>>> Related Post:   Essay on Character & its Importance in Life

Self belief is important for all of us because nobody can succeed without it whereas success is the only thing that can bring self-belief in you which will help you to cope up with any difficult situation.

Importance of Self Belief in Life

Five major reasons why self belief is important in life are:

1) Self Belief is important for a student because he has to work hard and get good grades in order to get a good job. In this competitive world, an average or below average student cannot find a suitable job easily. If you have strong belief in your abilities then you will have confidence in yourself that you can achieve anything what ever you want to. It is the self belief that makes a student responsible for his actions and decisions because, without having trust in oneself no one can be brave enough to take decisions confidently.

2) Similarly, when it comes to choosing a profession or taking any important decision in life, self belief is an important criterion. It will help you to take firm decisions and achieve success in your career by leading a happy and contended life.

3) If you have a strong belief in yourself then it will be easy for others to trust you because they know that whatever promises you make them, whatever tasks assigned to you, you will accomplish them successfully.

4) Self-belief is also helpful in making sound decisions because it gives courage to handle any situation that may come up during the course of your life.

5) Successful people have a strong belief in themselves and others too believe in them so they get success easily. They have the ability to influence and motivate others to work hard and achieve success.

Thus, we can say that having a strong belief in yourself will help you to build strong relationships with your family members , friends and colleagues which will give support to each other and result into achieving greater heights of success.

Self Belief for Students

Successful students are always confident and have a strong belief in themselves. They do not allow their failures to discourage them from achieving their goal or goal. They wait for the right time, gather all resources and then make a plan to achieve success. Successful students learn from their mistakes and never waste an opportunity given by god because they know that opportunities are rare. A person who does not have self-belief always makes excuses for his failures and blames others for his shortcomings.

In an era where competition has become cut throat, it is very important that a student believes in his own potential and abilities to achieve high scores. If he lacks self belief then he will make mistakes which will decrease his percentage. And often this

Conclusion 

To conclude, it can be said that having a strong belief in oneself is very important because if you have a strong conviction about yourself then nobody will be able to discourage you from achieving your goal. If you want to achieve success in any field of life, all you have to do is to believe in yourself and gather all the necessary resources and tools.

What is Self Essay:

Self essay is a form of writing in which an individual shares their personal experiences, opinions, and thoughts. It allows the writer to reflect on their own life and share their unique perspective with others. A self essay can cover a wide range of topics including personal growth, relationships, challenges, accomplishments, and more.

One of the main purposes of writing a self essay is self-discovery. It gives the writer an opportunity to explore their own thoughts and feelings, which can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself. Through self-reflection, one can uncover hidden motivations, values, and beliefs that may have influenced their actions and decisions in life.

Moreover, self essay writing can also be a form of self-expression. It allows individuals to freely express themselves without fear of judgment or criticism. It can be a therapeutic outlet for releasing emotions and processing experiences. Writing about personal struggles, successes, and lessons learned can also inspire and resonate with others who may be going through similar situations.

Self essays are not only beneficial for the writer but also for the readers. By sharing their personal stories, individuals can connect with others on a deeper level and create a sense of empathy and understanding. It can also serve as a source of inspiration and motivation for others who may be facing similar challenges.

In today’s digital age, self essays have become increasingly popular through various platforms such as personal blogs, social media, and online publications. This provides individuals with a platform to freely express themselves and share their stories with a wider audience.

In conclusion, self essay writing is a powerful tool for self-discovery, self-expression, and connecting with others. It allows individuals to reflect on their own experiences and share their unique perspectives with the world.

Essay on Believe in Yourself :

Believing in oneself is often cited as one of the most important factors for achieving success. It is the foundation upon which all other aspects of personal growth and development are built. Yet, many struggle with self-doubt and lack of confidence, hindering their ability to achieve their goals and dreams. In this essay, we will explore the concept of self-belief and its crucial role in achieving success.

What is self-belief?

Self-belief can be defined as having confidence in one’s abilities and worth. It is a deep-seated belief that you are capable of accomplishing your goals and overcoming challenges. It is not about being arrogant or overestimating oneself, but rather having a realistic understanding of your strengths and potential. Self-belief is also closely linked to self-esteem, which refers to how you perceive and value yourself.

The power of self-belief

Believing in oneself has the power to shape our thoughts, actions, and ultimately our destiny. It gives us the motivation and determination to pursue our dreams despite obstacles and setbacks. When we have a strong sense of self-belief, we are more likely to take risks and push ourselves out of our comfort zones. This opens up new opportunities for growth and success.

On the other hand, lacking self-belief can lead to feelings of fear, doubt, and insecurity. This can hold us back from reaching our full potential and living a fulfilling life. Without self-belief, we may settle for less than what we are capable of and miss out on opportunities for growth and achievement.

Building self-belief

The good news is that self-belief is not a fixed trait. It can be nurtured and developed with conscious effort. Here are some ways to cultivate a strong sense of self-belief:

• Recognize your strengths and achievements: Take time to reflect on your past successes and the qualities that helped you achieve them. This will remind you of your capabilities and boost your confidence.
• Surround yourself with positive influences: The people we surround ourselves with can greatly impact our self-belief. Choose to spend time with those who support and uplift you, rather than those who bring you down.
• Challenge negative thoughts: We all have an inner critic that can undermine our confidence. When you notice negative self-talk, challenge it and replace it with positive affirmations.
• Set achievable goals: Setting and achieving realistic goals is a great way to build self-belief. Start small and gradually work towards bigger goals as you gain more confidence in yourself.
• Celebrate your progress: Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. This will help you stay motivated and reinforce your belief in your abilities.

The role of self-belief in success

Self-belief is often considered the key to achieving success because it provides the necessary foundation for taking action towards our goals. Without a strong sense of belief in ourselves, we may lack the courage and determination to pursue our dreams. In contrast, when we truly believe in ourselves and our abilities, we are more likely to take the necessary steps towards success.

Moreover, self-belief also helps us bounce back from failures and setbacks. It allows us to learn from our mistakes and use them as stepping stones towards future success. As famous basketball player Michael Jordan once said, “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.”

In conclusion, self-belief is a vital ingredient for achieving success in any aspect of life. It gives us the courage, motivation, and resilience to pursue our dreams and overcome challenges. While it may not come naturally to everyone, self-belief can be developed through conscious effort and practice. So, believe in yourself and your abilities, and you will be amazed by what you can achieve. As the saying goes, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” So, choose to believe in yourself and see how it transforms your life for the better.

Short Speech on Believe in Yourself:

As we go through our daily lives, we encounter various challenges that may seem impossible to overcome. In such situations, it is important to have self-belief and confidence in ourselves. Believe in yourself is more than just a phrase, it is a mindset that can help us achieve great things.

When we believe in ourselves, we are able to push through obstacles and setbacks, and work towards our goals with determination. It allows us to stay focused on the positive aspects of our lives and not get discouraged by failures.

Moreover, when we have faith in ourselves, it inspires others around us to believe in themselves as well. As leaders, it is important for us to instill this belief in those around us, especially in times of uncertainty.

Believe in yourself also means acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses, and constantly working on improving ourselves. It is about having a growth mindset and not being afraid to take risks.

In conclusion, having self-belief is essential for personal growth and success. Let us remember to always believe in ourselves, no matter what challenges come our way. As Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” So let us choose to believe in ourselves and strive towards achieving our dreams. The possibilities are endless when we have faith in ourselves.

If you Believe in Yourself anything is Possible Essay:

As human beings, we all have dreams and aspirations that we want to achieve in life. These goals may vary from person to person, but they are ultimately what motivate us to strive for excellence. However, the path towards achieving our dreams is not always smooth. There will be obstacles and challenges along the way that can make us doubt ourselves and our abilities.

In such moments, it is important to remind ourselves that if we believe in ourselves, anything is possible.

Believing in oneself means having confidence and faith in our own abilities. It means acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses and trusting that we have what it takes to overcome any difficulties that come our way. When we truly believe in ourselves, we are able to turn our dreams into reality because we have the determination and perseverance to keep pushing forward, even when things get tough.

One of the main reasons why believing in ourselves is so crucial is because it allows us to take risks and step out of our comfort zones. Without self-belief, we may hesitate to pursue opportunities or try new things because we are afraid of failure. However, if we have faith in ourselves, we are more willing to take chances and explore different paths. And even if we do fail, we are able to bounce back stronger because our self-belief gives us the courage to keep going.

Moreover, when we believe in ourselves, we are not easily swayed by the opinions or judgments of others. We trust our own judgment and decisions, which allows us to stay true to ourselves and our goals. This is essential in a world where there will always be people who doubt us or try to bring us down. By believing in ourselves, we are able to rise above these negative influences and stay focused on what truly matters.

>>>> Related Post:  Essay on Trust & its Importance in Life

In conclusion, if we believe in ourselves, anything is possible. Our self-belief gives us the strength and resilience to overcome obstacles, take risks, and stay true to ourselves. So let us hold onto our dreams and have faith in ourselves, for it is through self-belief that we can achieve great things and make our wildest aspirations a reality.

Q: Why is it important to believe in yourself?

A: Believing in yourself is important because it boosts self-confidence, motivation, and resilience, helping you overcome challenges and achieve your goals.

Q: What makes you believe in yourself?

A: Believing in yourself often comes from self-awareness, setting achievable goals, receiving support, and learning from both successes and failures.

Q: What is believing in yourself summary?

A: Believing in yourself is having confidence in your abilities and worth, which empowers you to pursue your ambitions and face life’s obstacles with determination.

Q: What does it mean to believe in yourself?

A: Believing in yourself means having faith in your capabilities, judgment, and value as an individual. It involves self-assurance and a positive self-image, which drives personal growth and success

Related Posts:

Reader Interactions

Leave a reply cancel reply.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

• Frequently Asked Questions
• Helpful Free Resources
• Happiness & Fun
• Healthy Habits
• Love & Relationships
• Mental Health
• Mindfulness & Peace
• Purpose & Passion
• Fun & Inspiring
• Submit a Post
• Books & Things
• Tiny Buddha’s Breaking Barriers to Self-Care

“Your outlook on life is a direct reflection on how much you like yourself.” ~ Lululemon

“My existence on this earth is pointless.”

That thought crossed my mind every night before I fell asleep.

It had been several months since I graduated from high school and I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. My future plans were falling to pieces, and everyone around me kept telling me that I needed to start accomplishing things that I had not yet accomplished.

I was not where I thought I should be in life. Everyone had expectations that I hadn’t met. I became too focused on becoming a version of myself that everyone else wanted, and I constantly compared myself to other people who had already taken the dive into the next chapter of their life.

I was relentlessly questioned and judged for my slower progression in life, which convinced me that no one supported me or believed in me. I wondered why I even bothered to exist if I was getting nowhere and disappointing everyone. I began to blame everyone but myself for the state of misery I had fallen into.

My self-esteem began to suffer as the months went by. I felt inferior to everyone and it made me hate myself. I still did not know what I wanted to do with my life—and I was starting to not even care.

But several months and hundreds of needless self insults later, I decided to block out the negativity , both from myself and other people. I silenced the voice in my head that told me I wasn’t good enough and asked myself what would really make me happy.

I’ve always been very creative and expressive. I used to sing, act, and dance when I was younger. But my favorite thing has always been writing.

Some of the happiest moments in my life came from opportunities to express myself or put my heart and soul out for everyone to see. Every path I tried to take always led me back to writing.

I got to a point where I realized that I was only trying to pursue other paths because I thought that’s what other people would accept. I was afraid that if I let my imagination soar to all the different possibilities, people would tear me down or tell me to be “realistic.”

The bottom line is that I became paralyzed with this fear of not being accepted. I was afraid to be different or go my own way and pursue what truly made me happy. I put myself in a box.

One day, I decided that enough was enough. I spent an entire year of my life trying to be “realistic” and conform to the expectations of other people. I realized that you can’t please everyone anyway, so trying will definitely not lead to contentment.

Real happiness comes from being content with and proud of yourself .

I finally decided that I was going to devote my time to learning about writing and working on my writing skills. I am happy with that decision and I feel better about myself because I made it for me.

I have learned a few things about choosing the right path for yourself, focusing on what will make you happy. If you’ve been struggling to make that choice, I recommend:

Drop your worries.

Worry puts a burden on your mind, body, and spirit. They can keep you up all night if you let them. Find comfort in the fact that everything happens for a reason and everything will fall into place at the right time.

During my period of low self-esteem and extreme uncertainty, I relentlessly questioned every aspect of my life. I would go to bed frustrated and upset as I told myself I wasn’t good enough, and that I wished I was like everyone else my age.

By constantly bashing yourself and worrying about every single thing that happens to you, you’re missing out on happiness that you could’ve had all along.

Do not try to please or impress anyone but yourself.

The need to impress, please, and compare ourselves to other people all the time is one of the most common causes of self-loathing. As long as you’re trying to please other people and live up to their expectations, you will not be pleasing yourself.

What I’ve learned is that happiness does not come from pleasing other people. Happiness comes from feeling content with your own life and goals.

Embrace your unique qualities and talents.

Everyone is different. Figure out what you’re good at and what sets you apart from everyone else. Your mission is to create a reason for being here.

Believe in your path.

When you start to figure out what you want in life, there will be obstacles. Do not let anyone or anything discourage you from continuing on. Believe in yourself and believe in your decisions.

Stay positive and keep moving forward.

Take your time.

Life does not come with a rulebook or deadlines for accomplishing certain things. I used to always think that I needed to be at the same level as everyone else my age. Life is not a race or a contest.

Have faith in the fact that you are exactly where you need to be at this very moment in time and as long as you’re content, don’t let anyone convince you that you’re not where you need to be. You be the judge of what you want to change in your life and then do it for you .

Surround yourself with positivity.

Try to limit the amount of time you spend with people who nay-say, judge, or ridicule. Choose to completely surround yourself with positive, inspiring influences. You will feel much happier and better about yourself if you do.

Make a list of sayings or quotes that make you feel encouraged or inspired and keep it where you can see it each day. Try putting the list under your pillow or on your refrigerator door.

The most important thing to remember is that you are worth it, you can go another day, and you can be happy. Life will not throw you anything you cannot handle or overcome.

Once you start to accept and love yourself and your desired path, the smoke will clear and you will breathe easy again. Be kind to yourself and life will be a whole lot brighter.

Photo by QuinnDombrowsky

About Madison Sonnier

Madison is a writer of feelings and lover of animals, music, nature and creativity. You can follow her blog at journeyofasoulsearcher.blogspot.com/ and buy her first eBook through Amazon . She loves making new friends, so be sure to say hi if you like what you see!

Did you enjoy this post? Please share the wisdom :)

Related posts:

Free Download: Buddha Desktop Wallpaper

Recent Forum Topics

• Workplace Manipulator
• Breaking up difficulty
• Help with Relationship
• Stuck between stay or go… advice and personal experiences needed,
• Ex back in the picture after 3 years
• I confuse.. how the friendship should be
• Chronic Pain
• Victorious Victim
• Should I start over
• Am I at the end of my journey?

Fun & Inspiring

It Takes Two People to Make a Relationship Work

GET MORE FUN & INSPIRING IMAGES & VIDEOS .

Latest Posts

How I Broke Free from My Toxic Need to Achieve

Hope for the Grieving: You Will Make It Through

How to Find Tiny Miracles, Even During Hard Times

3 Simple Steps to Create More Joy in Your Life

How I Used Self-Help to Justify a Toxic Relationship and What I Now Know

This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition.

Tiny Buddha, LLC may earn affiliate income from qualifying purchases, including from the Amazon Associate Program.

Before using the site, please read our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use .

Click to opt-out of Google Analytics tracking.

Who Runs Tiny Buddha?

Get More Tiny Buddha

•   Twitter
•   Facebook
•   Instagram
•   Youtube
•   RSS Feed

Credits & Copyright

• Back to Top

• Bipolar Disorder
• Therapy Center
• When To See a Therapist
• Types of Therapy
• Best Online Therapy
• Best Couples Therapy
• Best Family Therapy
• Managing Stress
• Sleep and Dreaming
• Understanding Emotions
• Self-Improvement
• Healthy Relationships
• Student Resources
• Personality Types
• Guided Meditations
• Verywell Mind Insights
• 2023 Verywell Mind 25
• Mental Health in the Classroom
• Editorial Process
• Meet Our Review Board
• Crisis Support

Self Efficacy and Why Believing in Yourself Matters

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk,  "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time.

• Significance
• Development
• How to Improve

Self-efficacy is a person's belief in their ability to complete a task or achieve a goal. It encompasses a person's confidence in themselves to control their behavior, exert an influence over their environment, and stay motivated in the pursuit of their goal. People can have self-efficacy in different situations and domains, such as school, work, relationships, and other important areas.

When facing a challenge, do you feel like you can rise up and accomplish your goal, or do you give up in defeat? Are you like the little train engine from the classic children's book ("I think I can, I think I can!"), or do you doubt your own abilities to rise up and overcome the difficulties that life throws your way? If you tend to keep going in the face of obstacles, you probably have a high degree of self-efficacy.

Self-efficacy is important because it plays a role in how you feel about yourself and whether or not you successfully achieve your goals in life. The concept of self-efficacy is central to Albert Bandura’s  social cognitive theory , which emphasizes the role of  observational learning , social experience, and  reciprocal determinism  in personality development.

According to Bandura, self-efficacy is part of the self-system comprised of a person’s attitudes, abilities, and cognitive skills. This system plays a major role in how we perceive and respond to different situations. Self-efficacy is an essential part of this self-system.

Self-Efficacy Basics

According to  Albert Bandura , self-efficacy is "the belief in one’s capabilities to organize and execute the courses of action required to manage prospective situations." Self-efficacy is a person’s belief in their ability to succeed in a particular situation. Such beliefs play a role in determining how people think, behave, and feel.

Since Bandura published his seminal 1977 paper, "Self-Efficacy: Toward a Unifying Theory of Behavioral Change," the subject has become one of the most studied topics in psychology. Why has self-efficacy become such an important topic among psychologists and educators?

As Bandura and other researchers have demonstrated, self-efficacy can impact everything from psychological states to behavior to motivation. Self-efficacy determines what goals we pursue, how we accomplish those goals, and how we reflect upon our own performance.

Our belief in our own ability to succeed plays a role in how we think, how we act, and how we feel about our place in the world.

The Role of Self-Efficacy

Virtually all people can identify goals they want to accomplish, things they would like to  change , and things they would like to achieve. However, most people also realize that putting these plans into action is not quite so simple. Bandura and others have found that an individual’s self-efficacy plays a major role in how goals, tasks, and challenges are approached.

Having high self-efficacy is a good thing. People with a strong sense of self-efficacy:

• Develop a deeper interest in the activities in which they participate
• Form a stronger sense of commitment to their interests and activities
• Recover quickly from setbacks and disappointments
• View challenging problems as tasks to be mastered

Poor self-efficacy, on the other hand, can have a number of detrimental effects. People with a weak sense of self-efficacy:

• Avoid challenging tasks
• Believe that difficult tasks and situations are beyond their capabilities
• Focus on personal failings and negative outcomes
• Quickly lose confidence in personal abilities

Self-Efficacy vs. Self-Esteem vs. Self-Confidence

Self-efficacy is sometimes confused with self-esteem , but there are important distinctions between the two. What is the difference between self-efficacy and self-esteem? Self-efficacy refers to how you feel about your ability to succeed in different situations, while self-esteem refers to your respect for your own value and worth.

Is self-efficacy the same as self-confidence? While the two terms are related, there are some important distinctions. Self-confidence is more general and refers to a person's overall belief in themselves in all contexts. Self-efficacy, on the other hand, is more specific and context-dependent. A person can have high self-efficacy in one area (such as in academics) and low self-efficacy in other areas (such as in sports).

Research suggests that self-efficacy predicts self-esteem. In other words, people with high self-efficacy also tend to have high self-esteem and vice versa.

How Does Self-Efficacy Develop?

We begin to form our sense of self-efficacy in early childhood by dealing with various experiences, tasks, and situations. However, the growth of self-efficacy does not end during youth but continues to evolve throughout life as people acquire new skills, experiences, and understanding.

What are the four types of self-efficacy?

Bandura identified four major sources of self-efficacy. The four ways that self-efficacy is achieved are mastery experiences, social modeling, social persuasion, and psychological responses.

Mastery Experiences

"The most effective way of developing a strong sense of efficacy is through mastery experiences," Bandura explained. Performing a task successfully strengthens our sense of self-efficacy. However, failing to adequately deal with a task or challenge can undermine and weaken self-efficacy.  

Social Modeling

Witnessing other people successfully completing a task is another important source of self-efficacy.   According to Bandura, "Seeing people similar to oneself succeed by sustained effort raises observers' beliefs that they too possess the capabilities to master comparable activities to succeed."

Social Persuasion

Bandura also asserted that people could be persuaded to believe that they have the skills and capabilities to succeed. Consider a time when someone said something positive and encouraging that helped you achieve a goal. Getting verbal encouragement from others helps people overcome self-doubt and instead focus on giving their best effort to the task at hand.  

Psychological Responses

Our own responses and emotional reactions to situations also play an important role in self-efficacy. Moods,  emotional states , physical reactions, and stress levels can all impact how a person feels about their personal abilities in a particular situation. A person who becomes extremely nervous before speaking in public may develop a weak sense of self-efficacy in these situations.  

However, Bandura also notes "it is not the sheer intensity of emotional and physical reactions that is important but rather how they are perceived and interpreted."  

By learning how to minimize stress and elevate mood when facing difficult or challenging tasks, people can improve their sense of self-efficacy.

Examples of High Self-Efficacy

So what exactly does high self-efficacy look like? You can probably think of some examples from your own life including areas where you feel a great deal of efficacy. People may possess a general sense of self-efficacy or in a specific domain where they believe they can do well such as school, work, friendships, parenting, sports, hobbies, and other areas.

Some examples of strong self-efficacy include:

• A person struggling to manage a chronic illness feels confident that they can get back on track and improve their health by working hard and following their doctor's recommendations.
• A student who feels confident that they will be able to learn the information and do well on a test.
• Someone who has just accepted a job position in a role they have never performed before but feels that they have the ability to learn and perform the job well.

Self-efficacy can play an important role in health psychology and how people manage their health, nutrition, and illness. For example, having a strong sense of self-efficacy can help people who are trying to quit smoking stick to their goals.

Maintaining a weight loss plan, managing chronic pain, giving up alcohol, sticking to an exercise schedule, and following an eating plan can all be influenced by a person's levels of self-efficacy.

Research has also shown that when teachers have high self-efficacy, it has a positive impact on academic outcomes, including student motivation and achievement.

Bandura suggests that self-efficacy can benefit a person's sense of well-being in a number of ways. For instance, they remain optimistic and confident in their abilities, even when things become difficult.

Because individuals with high self-efficacy look at difficulties as challenges rather than threats, they tend to be more intrinsically interested in the tasks they pursue. Difficulty and failure don't mean defeat; instead, these individuals redouble their efforts and look for new ways to overcome.

Issues With Low Self-Efficacy

People who are low in self-efficacy tend to see difficult tasks as threats they should avoid. Because of this, they also tend to avoid setting goals and have low levels of commitment to the ones they do make.

When setbacks happen, they tend to give up quickly. Because they don't have much confidence in their ability to achieve, they are more likely to experience feelings of failure and depression. Stressful situations can also be very hard to deal with and those with low self-efficacy are less resilient and less likely to bounce back.

Learned helplessness is the opposite of self-efficacy. It can occur when people feel they have no power to control what happens in a situation. Instead of looking for opportunities to change the outcome, they give up and behave passively.

Evaluating Self-Efficacy Strength

For a quick, informal assessment of your own self-efficacy levels, consider the following questions:

• Do you feel like you can handle problems if you are willing to work hard?
• Are you confident in your ability to achieve your goals?
• Do you feel like you can manage unexpected events that come up?
• Are you able to bounce back fairly quickly after stressful events?
• Do you feel like you can come up with solutions when you are facing a problem?
• Do you keep trying even when things seem difficult?
• Are you good at staying calm even in the face of chaos?
• Do you perform well even under pressure?
• Do you tend to focus on your progress rather than getting overwhelmed by all you still have to do?
• Do you believe that hard work will eventually pay off?

If you can answer yes to many or most of these questions, then chances are good that you have a fairly strong sense of self-efficacy. If you feel like your self-efficacy could use a boost, consider some of the following strategies for improving your sense of efficacy.

Building Self-Efficacy

Fortunately, self-efficacy is a psychological skill that you can foster and strengthen. Start by looking for ways to incorporate Bandura's sources of self-efficacy into your own life. Some ways that self-efficacy can be achieved include acknowledging your success, observing your mentors, getting positive feedback, and practicing positive self-talk.

Celebrate Your Success

Mastery experiences play a critical role in the establishment of self-efficacy. Bandura actually identified this as the single most effective way to create a strong sense of self-belief.

When you succeed at something, you are able to build a powerful belief in your ability. Failure, on the other hand, can undermine these feelings, particularly if you are still in the early phases of building a sense of personal efficacy.  

The ideal sorts of successes, however, are not necessarily those that come easily. If you experience a lot of easy success, you may find yourself giving up more readily when you finally do encounter failure. So work on setting goals that are achievable, but not necessarily easy. They will take work and perseverance, but you will emerge with a stronger belief in your own abilities once you achieve them.

Observe Others

Bandura also identified vicarious experiences obtained through peer modeling as another important means of establishing and strengthening self-efficacy. Seeing others putting in effort and succeeding, as a result, can increase your belief in your own ability to succeed.

One factor that plays a key role in the effectiveness of this approach is how similar the model is to yourself. The more alike you feel you are, the more likely it is that your observations will increase your sense of self-efficacy.  

Seek Positive Affirmations

Hearing positive feedback from others can also help improve your sense of self-efficacy. By that same token, try to avoid asking for feedback from people who you know are more likely to have a negative or critical view of your performance.

For example, your doctor telling you that you are doing a good job sticking to your diet plan can be encouraging. Feedback from friends, mentors, health practitioners, and people who you respect can help you feel greater confidence in your own abilities.

Positive social feedback can be helpful for strengthening your already existing sense of efficacy, but negative comments can often have a powerful undermining effect. Bandura suggested that social feedback alone is not enough to build your self-belief, but it can be a useful tool when you need a little extra encouragement.  

Pay Attention to Your Thoughts and Emotions

If you find yourself getting stressed out or nervous before a challenging event, you might feel less sure of your ability to cope with the task at hand.

Another way to boost your self-efficacy is to look for ways to manage your thoughts and emotions about what you are trying to accomplish.

Do you feel anxious? Looking for ways to ease your stress levels can help you feel more confident in your capabilities. Do you find yourself dwelling on negative thoughts? Look for ways to replace negativity with positive self-talk that promotes self-belief.

Get Advice From The Verywell Mind Podcast

Hosted by therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares strategies that can help you learn to truly believe in yourself, featuring IT Cosmetics founder Jamie Kern Lima.

Follow Now : Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts

There are a number of different scales that are used to evaluate levels of self-efficacy including the General Self-Efficacy Scale (GSE) and the Self-Efficacy Questionnaire.

Developing a strong sense of self-efficacy can play an important role in almost every aspect of your life. Life is full of challenges and high levels of self-efficacy can help you better deal with these difficulties more effectively. Your belief in your abilities can predict how motivated you feel, how you feel about yourself, and the amount of effort you put into achieving your goals.

Bandura A. Self-Efficacy in Changing Societies . Cambridge University Press.

Bandura A. Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change .  Psychol Rev . 1977;84(2):191-215. doi:10.1037/0033-295x.84.2.191

Hajloo N. Relationships between self-efficacy, self-esteem and procrastination in undergraduate psychology students . Iran J Psychiatry Behav Sci . 2014;8(3):42-9. PMID: 25780374; PMCID: PMC4359724.

Barni D, Danioni F, Benevene P. Teachers' self-efficacy: The role of personal values and motivations for teaching . Front Psychol . 2019;10:1645. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01645

Maier SF, Seligman ME.  Learned helplessness at fifty: Insights from neuroscience .  Psychol Rev . 2016;123(4):349-367. doi:10.1037/rev0000033

Romppel M, Herrmann-Lingen C, Wachter R, et al. A short form of the General Self-Efficacy Scale (GSE-6): Development, psychometric properties and validity in an intercultural non-clinical sample and a sample of patients at risk for heart failure . Psychosoc Med . 2013;10:Doc01. doi:10.3205/psm000091

Tod D, Hardy J, Oliver E. Effects of self-talk: A systematic review . J Sport Exerc Psychol . 2011;33(5):666-87.

Bandura A. Exercise of personal agency through the self-efficacy mechanisms. In: Schwarzer R, ed. Self-efficacy: Thought Control of Action.  Hemisphere: Taylor & Francis.

Bandura A. Self-efficacy. In: Ramachaudran VS, ed. Encyclopedia of Human Behavior , 4. Academic Press.

Turk DC. Psychological aspects of chronic pain. In: Benzon HT, Rathmell JP, Wu CL, et al., eds. Practical Management of Pain (Fifth Edition) . Elsevier.

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

• Personal Development
• Sales Training
• Business Training
• Time Management
• Leadership Training
• Book Writing
• Public Speaking
• Live Speaker Training With Brian
• See Brian Speak
• Coaching Programs
• Become a Coach
• Personal Success
• Sales Success
• Business Success
• Leadership Success

How To Believe In Yourself

After personally experiencing the good that focusing on positive thinking can bring, I can confidently say your ability to believe in yourself can change your life.

The process of thinking and talking about what you want and how to get it actually makes you feel happier and in greater control of your life. 

And when you feel in control of your life, you start to believe in yourself more and boost your confidence. 

Why Believe in Yourself?

Have you ever heard the quote, “if you believe it, the mind can achieve it?”

Or, “whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right?”

These quotes exist because the mind is incredibly powerful, and your self-belief has the power to either limit you from reaching your full potential or propel you to do great things.

Confidence in yourself equips you to take action. It also helps you  take bigger risks , which can result in bigger rewards.

Positivity works similarly.  Scientific studies have proven that when you experience positive emotions (such as love, joy, or contentment), you’ll see more possibilities in life. Positive thoughts can even build your skill set! Because positive emotions broaden your sense of possibilities, they also help you build new skills and resources. Negative emotions do the opposite.

Bottom line? If you believe in yourself, you’re more likely to succeed–and to be happier in all areas of life. . That is true believe in yourself meaning.

What Does It Mean to Believe in Yourself?

Now that you know why it’s important to believe in yourself, it’s time to define what that actually means and looks like, as it can be a bit different for everyone.

Start by thinking about a goal you have set for yourself. How likely do you think it is that you will take part in actions to accomplish that goal? This is a good indicator of your self-belief.

If you don’t think you’ll accomplish that goal, it may be time to start believing in yourself more.

Self-belief is also about positivity. A positive mindset and positive self-belief go hand in hand. If you have a positive outlook on life, you are more likely to believe in yourself.

Psychology Today explains that if you believe in yourself, you have:

• Self-worth (the sense that you have value as a human being)
• Self-confidence (a  positive attitude about your abilities, qualities, and judgment)
• Self-trust (faith that you can rely on yourself)
• Autonomy (feeling able to choose and direct your own behavior)
• Environmental mastery (your belief that your efforts will result in the changes you desire)

If you feel like you don’t believe in yourself, don’t panic. There are actionable steps you can take to have more confidence, trust, and positivity–all of which will lead to a stronger and better sense of self-belief.

Learning how to believe in yourself starts with thinking positively and vocalizing positive statements to yourself to build your self-esteem.

It also includes identifying what your highest values and aspirations in life are and setting expectations so you can be true to yourself — which will let you live your best life.

At the end of the day, believing in yourself doesn’t have to be a complicated process.

Try some of these proven methods to help you believe in yourself and even boost self-confidence.

Believe You Have Confidence

Perhaps one of the hardest things to do in life is to accept how extraordinary you really are, believe in yourself, and then incorporate this awareness into your attitude and personality.

But there is no one like you. You have unique contributions to share with the world that only you can give.

After all, we all have our own talents, skills, and abilities that make us extraordinary.

So one key to having confidence is by saying it. Tell yourself you have confidence, and then believe it.

Your thoughts become words and your words become your actions. So if you continue to tell yourself that you believe in yourself, eventually you really will believe in yourself.

Start by repeating affirmations such as, “I believe in myself,” every day.

It’s that simple.

Have the courage to accept yourself as you really are — not as you might be, or as someone else thinks you should be — and know that taking everything into consideration, you really are worthy to have the kind of life you want. You are an extraordinary person.

Know Your Value

Your beliefs determine your expectations. 

If you have positive values, you will believe yourself to be a good person . And, if you believe in yourself to be a good person, good things will happen to you. 

When you expect good things to happen to you, you will be more positive, cheerful, and future-oriented. You will look for the good in other people and situations.

For example, if your value is that this is a good world to live in and your belief is that you are going to be very successful in life, you will expect everything that happens to you is helping you in some way.

As a result, you will have a positive mental attitude toward other people, and they will respond positively toward you, helping you be a more cheerful and optimistic person that others will want to work with and for, buy from and sell to, and generally help to be more successful.

Build Self-Esteem

When you take steps toward building your self-esteem, your confidence grows and the natural outcome is that you start to believe in yourself. Use these six elements of self-esteem building to help you learn how to believe in yourself:

Setting clear, accomplishable goals gives you purpose and makes you feel good about yourself. Each step you take toward achieving your goals builds your self-esteem.

People with high self-esteem have high standards, and they make choices that are consistent with their standards. Develop values and ideals that you can be proud of, and make sure your goals are aligned with them. 

SUCCESS EXPERIENCES

When you are setting your goals, write down the smaller milestones it will take for you to reach them.  Each positive experience you have with success — large or small — will add to your belief in yourself. 

COMPARISON WITH OTHERS

Identify people you respect and look up to, whose standards align with the ones you want to have. As you progress, compare yourself to see how you measure up and get clues about how you can improve.

RECOGNITION

Recognition from people who are important to you, such as your family members, boss, or mentor builds your self-esteem. Striving to achieve your goals will attract recognition.

Along with recognition are tangible rewards. Your self-esteem grows as you work toward and receive a bonus at work, certification or licensure, an advancement in position or level of trust, or other status markers. 

Identify, Question, and Overcome Feelings of Self Doubt

If you’re trying to focus on self-improvement, doubt is an important area to tackle. Self-doubt can have a major impact on our lives and whether we reach our goals.

Self-doubt is a feeling of uncertainty about the truth. People who are experiencing self-doubt are unable to accurately judge their own abilities. If you feel unsure of your abilities, this may signal self-doubt.

You can fight against doubt by working on developing self-love and showing yourself more compassion. Give yourself grace when you fail; we all fail from time to time. Think about your strengths and focus on those more than your weaknesses.

Positive self-talk and daily affirmations are also methods that can help you start believing in yourself. We’ll cover those later in this post.

Use Visualization

One final way to better believe in yourself is visualization. Visualization is the practice of imagining your goals coming true–the process you’ll take to reach them, and what it will feel like when they come true.

Visualization  motivates you to get to work. It also helps reduce anxiety and build your self-confidence.

To start trying visualization, sit quietly and take deep breaths to start your visualization practice.

You may want to visualize what your life would ideally look like one year from now.

Do you have a new job? Are you spending lots of quality time with your family? Have you reached a certain goal? Include lots of detail in this visualization (which is almost like a daydream).

You can also get more specific and visualize certain goals coming true. If you want to write a book, picture yourself sitting down at your desk, creating an outline, and beginning to write. Then imagine how it will feel when you sign with a publisher and host your first book signing.

The power of visualization can help us do amazing things.

How to Be More Positive

While believing in yourself and staying positive isn’t something you have to do every hour of every day, it is important to incorporate even a little bit into your everyday life.

Even during the toughest days, try these things to help you experience more positivity in your life.

Incorporate Positive Self-Talk

Positive self-talk is a powerful tool to help you feel better about yourself. According to Healthline, practicing positive self-talk can allow you to enjoy benefits such as:

• increased vitality
• greater life satisfaction
• improved immune function
• reduced pain
• better cardiovascular health
• better physical well-being
• reduced risk for death
• less stress and distress

Having a positive attitude is clearly important, and self-talk is a great way to get there.

You can incorporate positive self-talk by speaking to yourself aloud or in your head. Don’t compare yourself to others–just focus on yourself and what you’re doing right.

This might sound like positive affirmations, such as, “I am kind,” “I have value,” or “I will work hard today.” You could also choose to highlight your positive qualities or think about small successes.

Practice Daily Gratitude

Gratitude is one of the key components involved to help you tap into the power of positive thinking. When you practice gratitude, you’re more focused on the blessings that are already in your life. You’ll focus on positive things like your friends, family, and past successes instead of constantly wanting something new.

According to Harvard Health,  studies have actually proved the association between gratitude and a person’s well-being. In one study, people who practiced daily gratitude were more optimistic and felt better about their lives! Your work and personal relationships can improve, too.

Start pursuing gratitude to remind yourself that you have a good life here and now, even if it’s not quite the way you want it to be. Keeping a gratitude journal where you write a few lines every day is a simple method to start shifting your mindset. Follow these tips as you write about what you’re grateful for in your everyday life:

• Instead of naming something general (“my job”), be specific with an event that happened that day (“my boss investing in me by paying for a webinar”).
• Stick to the same time of day, each day to help stay consistent.
• Write a minimum of one thing per day.
• Record something different every day.

Try Meditation

Meditation is a form of self-reflection that, among other benefits, can help you move past self-doubt and foster a more positive attitude. When you meditate, you clear your mind of distractions. This helps you relax and reduce any anxiety.

There are multiple  types of meditation . You might practice mindfulness meditation, where you quietly observe your thoughts as they pass through your mind. Try focused meditation to concentrate on any of your five senses. Or practice mantra meditation, where you can chant a repetitive sound to clear your mind.

If you struggle with negative thoughts, meditation could be a helpful method of moving past feelings of unsupportive self-disbelief to feel confident in your own life.

Yoga Journal recommends noticing negative thinking patterns and  intentionally replacing them with an opposite thought.

Did you know that regular exercise can help build confidence, foster a growth mindset, and increase your overall self-worth as a human being?

The Mayo Clinic states that  physical exercise stimulates chemicals in your brain that can help you feel happier, more relaxed, and less anxious. Plus, you’ll gain a myriad of physical health benefits–such as improved sleep,  which can make you feel happier , too.

There’s no one “right” way to exercise. The best kind of physical activity for you is whatever fits your own abilities and makes your body feel good.

If you’re new to the fitness world, start exercising by performing simple movements like squats or lifting dumbbells. If you have access to workout equipment, you can walk on a treadmill, ride a bike, or use an elliptical.

A mixture of cardiovascular exercise (like walking, running, or cycling) and strength training (like push-ups and squats) is best.

Make sure to check with your doctor before beginning any new exercise routine.

Being kind to someone isn’t just about the recipient. It benefits you, too. Kindness has been shown to increase self-esteem , empathy, and compassion. It also improves your mood and helps your mind–showing kindness to somebody boosts serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins, which create feelings of happiness.

How can you show kindness to someone else today? Often, small gestures mean just as much as big, flashy ones. Consider using one of the many ideas on this list to take action with kindness:

• Give a compliment or a word of encouragement
• Buy a coffee
• Let someone merge in front of you
• Give someone your seat
• Pick up litter
• Write a good online review
• Write a thank-you note
• Talk to a lonely stranger
• Donate items you no longer need to a local charity
• Anonymously leave a favorite treat in the break room
• Mentor someone
• Babysit for free

How to Improve Self Confidence

Self-confidence is a feeling of complete trust in your abilities , knowledge, and skills.

To be confident means that you have a generally positive attitude and a healthy way of thinking about yourself.

The more you believe in yourself, the more self-confidence you will naturally have.

Read Self-Confidence Books

The more positive elements you have in your life, the easier it is to gain confidence and believe in yourself even more. 

Deciding to make small changes in your routine and surroundings can have a big impact on your ability to develop confidence and stay positive. One of the best ways to achieve this is by reading self-confidence books.

When it comes to building self-confidence, there are so many authors who have written about proven methods to help do just that. 

Consider reading a few of these works to help you understand how to build self-confidence:

• “The Power of Self-Confidence” by Brian Tracy
• “The Confidence Code” by Claire Shipman
• “Get Out of Your Own Way” by Philip Goldberg and Mark Goulston
• “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem: The Definitive Work on Self-Esteem by the Leading Pioneer in the Field” by Nathaniel Branden
• “Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds”  by David Goggins
• “The Self Confidence Workbook: A Guide to Overcoming Self-Doubt and Improving Self-Esteem” by Barbara Markway, Celia Ampel, and Teresa Flynn

Remember Your Past Achievements

One of the best ways to combat negative self-talk and boost low self-confidence? Spend some time reflecting on your past success.

Making a list of your accomplishments is a powerful way to gain more confidence in yourself. The list will remind you that you’ve done it before, and you can do it again.

Grab a pen and paper and get to work listing your achievements over your life. You might start out the list something like this:

• Graduated from college summa cum laude
• Received an award after six months in my first job
• Wrote a book on the weekends

If you’re having trouble coming up with items to add to your list, get out of your comfort zone and ask a friend, family member, or colleague for their input on your own abilities.

When your list is complete, stick it somewhere you’ll see it every day, such as your refrigerator door or bathroom mirror.

Improve Your Self Belief

It might take a little work. But over time, you’ll get a sense of where your struggles lie when it comes to self-belief –which will allow you to take action to overcome them.

Need a little help along the way? Check out my 14-step goal-setting guide. This free resource teaches you how to set and achieve any goal you can imagine. You’ll grow your self-confidence and self-belief as you learn which mistakes to avoid and where to focus your energy.

Download the guide here and take the first step on the road to success!

« Previous Post Setting and Reaching Your Goals to Achieve Success Next Post » Self-Discipline Habits To Improve Your Life

About Brian Tracy — Brian is recognized as the top sales training and personal success authority in the world today. He has authored more than 60 books and has produced more than 500 audio and video learning programs on sales, management, business success and personal development, including worldwide bestseller The Psychology of Achievement. Brian's goal is to help you achieve your personal and business goals faster and easier than you ever imagined. You can follow him on Twitter , Facebook , Pinterest , Linkedin and Youtube .

• Most Recent
• How to Write an Author Bio (Examples Included)
• Personal Development Plan Templates for Success
• How to Sell and Become a Master Salesperson
• Navigating Life with a Professional Life Coach & How to Become One
• 165 Inspirational Quotes To Keep You Motivated In Life
• Free Webinar: How To Write a Book and Become a Published Author
• Free Video Series: 3-Part Sales Mastery Training Series
• Free Assessment: The Confidence Factor
• Free Assessment: Discovering Your Talents

Browse Categories

• Financial Success

Follow Brian & Join the Discussion

• Free Resources
• Best Sellers
• Knowledge Base
• Shipping & Returns
• Privacy Policy
• About Brian
• Brian Recommends

Your Privacy is Guaranteed. We will never give, lease or sell your personal information. Period!

© Copyright 2001-2024 Brian Tracy International. All Rights Reserved.

Self-Esteem

The power of believing in yourself, 8 insights on the psychology of self-efficacy..

Posted July 22, 2022 | Reviewed by Tyler Woods

• What Is Self-Esteem?
• Find counselling near me
• Self-efficacy is the confidence we have in our abilities in specific life domains.
• Finely-grained self-efficacy beliefs are more useful in predicting outcomes than global self-confidence measures.
• Self-efficacy is a key ingredient of self-regulation and achieving our goals.

Years ago, right before starting on a big new project, I bought a framed note that spelled with golden letters:

She believed she could so she did.

I didn’t know who she was and what she did , but somehow, the words offered encouragement for my own undertaking.

The contract that humans draft with their loftiest dreams is surprisingly straightforward. Yes, we need skills to accomplish our goals . Yes, we need effort, strategy, resources, creativity , character, and even luck. But before we set the world in motion, we need the blessing of an inner ally, who, whether with a coy wink or a full-blown orchestra, makes us believe that we can .

This confidence in our abilities in specific life domains is known as self-efficacy . After studying self-efficacy for decades, psychologist James Maddux concluded that believing that we can accomplish what we want to accomplish is one of the most important ingredients for success . Indeed, countless research studies have shown that having high self-efficacy can help us pursue our goals , cope effectively with stress , engage in health-promoting behaviors, and have better psychological well-being .

Why do our thoughts and convictions have such a consequential hold on us? Is it the courage they impart to dream in the first place? Is it the resolve they extend when we stumble? Or is it because when we believe in ourselves, we can “risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit,” as poet E.E. Cummings writes.

Here are 8 insights from Maddux on the key role self-efficacy plays in our lives.

Self-efficacy can be more adaptive than self-confidence

Traditionally, psychologists have defined and measured self-confidence as a global construct that is consistent over time and across situations. It’s almost like a personality trait that people tend to have to varying degrees. The trouble with thinking of ourselves in global terms, such as having high or low self-confidence, is that it’s very easy to mis-predict outcomes.

Research shows that when it comes to our ability to predict behavior, situation-specific measures (i.e., self-efficacy beliefs) outperform global measures such as self-confidence. Thus, if you are considering setting a new goal, you’ll be better off breaking down your general self-confidence into components and thinking about your abilities in various specific situations. This is particularly important for people with low self-confidence, which can often become a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, in cognitive behavioral therapy , the client who complains of low self-confidence is invited to explore some areas in life where they actually do well. This exercise can help individuals think about their particular competencies in various situations that they feel good about and move away from self-defeating thinking patterns.

Self-efficacy is a key ingredient of self-regulation

Self-regulation refers to the way we guide our behaviors, thoughts, and emotions in the pursuit of our goals, desired outcomes, and values . It involves using our past experiences and knowledge about our skills as reference points to develop expectancies about future events and states. Consider self-regulation as a circular process where complex networks, factors, and predictions interact with each other and unfold over time.

Being a good self-regulator is an acquirable skill that includes learning how to generate better self-efficacy beliefs, setting and pursuing effective goals, incorporating feedback, and having adaptive self-evaluations of performance. Self-regulatory skills (as well as the belief that one is a good self-regulator) is fundamental for psychological well-being because they can usher a sense of agency over one’s life.

Self-efficacy is not wishful thinking or a fake-it-till-you-make-it attitude

Self-efficacy is best viewed in terms of having confidence in your ability to apply your skills in particular situations. It is a much more nuanced concept than a blind belief of “I believe I can do it, and therefore I will succeed.” Notably, it entails having a clear understanding of your skills. Skills and beliefs about skills usually go hand-in-hand. This is why overconfidence without actual preparation (or lack of skills) can set people up for failure.

Self-efficacy can help in challenging and uncertain times

A powerful source of self-efficacy is actual performance—things you’ve done well in life. Often, when people encounter what appears to be a new problem, they see it as being entirely different from what they have experienced before. That’s rarely the case. Any challenge, if you live long enough, will have some similarity to other challenges you’ve faced and overcome before. If you stop and think about the ways in which a current challenge is similar to other challenges you successfully dealt with in the past, you can draw upon your experience and boost your sense of self-efficacy for managing this “unprecedented” circumstance. It can also attenuate the fear of uncertainty and of encountering something you have never encountered before.

Even the pandemic had elements that were not entirely new to us. Everyone, for example, has had times in their life when they felt isolated—perhaps they were separated from loved ones or felt alone in a foreign place. When we break things down to their components, most things can be considered a matter of degree of variance, as opposed to being a whole different kind of experience. This insight can help us deal with our circumstances more effectively, however uncertain and ambiguous they may appear.

Self-efficacy is important for resiliency

Resilience is often defined as the ability to bounce back from adversity and recover our equilibrium when we’ve been caught off balance. Resilience comes into play when we encounter barriers in our pursuit of desired goals. Research suggests that when facing a challenge, low-efficacy individuals might self-reflect in negative ways (“I knew I couldn’t do this…”) or disengage, while high-efficacy individuals will have more confidence in their abilities to find solutions to their problems, and thus be more resilient. A growth mindset (as opposed to a fixed mindset) promotes resilience and an acquirable view of skills, thus providing a better foundation for developing self-efficacy beliefs.

Experience fosters self-efficacy

What helps most in gaining self-efficacy is experience—trying something new and working at it, usually by breaking down goals and skills into manageable pieces and practicing them separately, again and again. When we think of a big goal simply as a series of small goals one after the other, it can give us the courage to dive in. Over time, as people acquire a sense of mastery over various skills, they will also accumulate self-efficacy beliefs. Once you realize the principle of these learnable self-regulatory skills, you can apply them to different situations.

Believe in yourself, but let your actions speak for you

It’s difficult to accomplish great things without believing in oneself. However, watch out for people who are constantly telling others how good they are at things. I would argue that a person who truly believes they are good at something is not going to feel the need to broadcast it. They will let their actions speak for them. In fact, someone who is constantly boasting about their greatness is probably trying to give themselves a pep talk, because their self-efficacy is not high after all.

Advice from a self-efficacy researcher for leading a happier life

For me, it goes back to trying not to think of ourselves in global, all-or-nothing terms or even fixed personality traits and aptitudes (“I’m not good at math—that’s just the way I am.”) Instead, it could be more helpful to see ourselves as complex individuals, with different skills and abilities that are not fixed and pre-determined, but rather are subject to change and growth.

Success, whichever way you define it, includes becoming better self-regulators by continuously honing our skills and engaging them in the right way. If people pay attention to the anatomy of their successes, they will likely realize that the skills they use to accomplish their goals can be generalized to accomplishing other goals. This is how self-efficacy beliefs are formed and a growth mindset is established.

Many thanks to James Maddux for his time and insights. Maddux is University Professor Emeritus at George Mason University and Senior Scholar at GMU’s Center for the Advancement of Well-Being .

Maddux, J.E., & Kleiman, E.M. (2020). Self-Efficacy. The Oxford Handbook of Positive Psychology, 443.

Maddux, J.E., Kleiman, E.M., & Gosselin, J.T. (2018). Self-efficacy. In D. S. Dunn (Ed.), Oxford bibliographies online: Psychology. New York: Oxford University Press.

Maddux, J.E., & Gosselin, J.T. (2003). Self-efficacy. In M. R. Leary & J. P. Tangney (Eds.), Handbook of self and identity (pp. 218–238). The Guilford Press.

Conner, M., & Norman, P. (1995). Predicting Health Behaviour: Research and Practice with Social Cognition Models. Buckingham: Open University Press.

Diseth, Å. (2011). Self-efficacy, goal orientations and learning strategies as mediators between preceding and subsequent academic achievement. Learning and Individual Differences, 21 (2), 191-195.

Zhao, F. F., Lei, X. L., He, W., Gu, Y. H., & Li, D. W. (2015). The study of perceived stress, coping strategy and self‐efficacy of C hinese undergraduate nursing students in clinical practice. International Journal of Nursing Practice, 21 (4), 401-409.

Milam, L. A., Cohen, G. L., Mueller, C., & Salles, A. (2019). The relationship between self-efficacy and well-being among surgical residents. Journal of Surgical Education, 76 (2), 321-328.

Marianna Pogosyan, Ph.D. , is a lecturer in Cultural Psychology and a consultant specialising in cross-cultural transitions.

• Find a Therapist
• Find a Treatment Center
• Find a Support Group
• International
• New Zealand
• South Africa
• Switzerland
• Asperger's
• Bipolar Disorder
• Chronic Pain
• Eating Disorders
• Passive Aggression
• Personality
• Goal Setting
• Positive Psychology
• Stopping Smoking
• Low Sexual Desire
• Relationships
• Child Development
• Therapy Center NEW
• Diagnosis Dictionary
• Types of Therapy

Understanding what emotional intelligence looks like and the steps needed to improve it could light a path to a more emotionally adept world.

• Coronavirus Disease 2019
• Affective Forecasting
• Neuroscience

How it works

Transform your enterprise with the scalable mindsets, skills, & behavior change that drive performance.

Explore how BetterUp connects to your core business systems.

We pair AI with the latest in human-centered coaching to drive powerful, lasting learning and behavior change.

Build leaders that accelerate team performance and engagement.

Unlock performance potential at scale with AI-powered curated growth journeys.

Build resilience, well-being and agility to drive performance across your entire enterprise.

Transform your business, starting with your sales leaders.

Unlock business impact from the top with executive coaching.

Foster a culture of inclusion and belonging.

Accelerate the performance and potential of your agencies and employees.

See how innovative organizations use BetterUp to build a thriving workforce.

Discover how BetterUp measurably impacts key business outcomes for organizations like yours.

A demo is the first step to transforming your business. Meet with us to develop a plan for attaining your goals.

• What is coaching?

Learn how 1:1 coaching works, who its for, and if it's right for you.

Accelerate your personal and professional growth with the expert guidance of a BetterUp Coach.

Types of Coaching

Navigate career transitions, accelerate your professional growth, and achieve your career goals with expert coaching.

Enhance your communication skills for better personal and professional relationships, with tailored coaching that focuses on your needs.

Find balance, resilience, and well-being in all areas of your life with holistic coaching designed to empower you.

Discover your perfect match : Take our 5-minute assessment and let us pair you with one of our top Coaches tailored just for you.

Best practices, research, and tools to fuel individual and business growth.

View on-demand BetterUp events and learn about upcoming live discussions.

The latest insights and ideas for building a high-performing workplace.

• BetterUp Briefing

The online magazine that helps you understand tomorrow's workforce trends, today.

Innovative research featured in peer-reviewed journals, press, and more.

Founded in 2022 to deepen the understanding of the intersection of well-being, purpose, and performance

We're on a mission to help everyone live with clarity, purpose, and passion.

Join us and create impactful change.

Read the buzz about BetterUp.

Meet the leadership that's passionate about empowering your workforce.

For Business

For Individuals

How to walk the freeing path of believing in yourself

Transform your life

Make meaningful changes and become the best version of yourself. BetterUp's professional Coaches are here to support your personal growth journey.

Jump to section

The benefits of believing in yourself

3 common roadblocks, how to overcome roadblocks ,  7 strategies that will help you believe in yourself, the bottom line.

We can be our biggest cheerleaders — or our biggest critics. And the difference between the two options matters. Believing in yourself is crucial to succeeding. 

Self-efficacy , or your ability to believe in yourself , can improve your success in goal setting. Studies have looked at how higher self-efficacy indicates success in areas like academic performance or quitting smoking . If you can believe, you really can achieve.

It helps to adopt a growth mindset and cultivate the ability to accept and learn from your mistakes . Developing these characteristics can take patience and time. 

Let’s take a lo ok at how to believe in yourself, and why it’s important to have faith in your abilities. 

Self-belief is the formula to personal and professional success. 

Do you berate yourself when you make a mistake? Do you, for some reason or other, think negative self-talk will make you a better person?

Making mistakes is one thing. But at some point, you have to forgive yourself and move on. Otherwise, that energy will only hold you back. It’ll prevent you from taking risks and stepping up to achieve your goals.

At the end of the day, you have to believe in yourself. Doing so will bring you one step closer to manifesting a better life . 

Here’s why you should believe in yourself and your instincts:

1. If you don’t, who else will?

Maybe you have a system of people who love and support you, and that’s great. But at the end of the day, only you can act on the opportunities in your life. At some point in your life, you’ll have to take a leap of faith. And you’ll have to trust in your ability to survive it.

2. You’ll fail more gracefully

Look, it happens to all of us. Even the most successful people know what failure feels like . But they know that, as long as they learn something, they’ll continue to grow. You can be like that, too — you just have to trust yourself.

3. Being follows doing (sometimes you have to act positive to get positive) 

If you don’t believe you’re worthy, neither will other people. You have to suspend your disbelief and take the leap to act like you believe in yourself, first. You'll see yourself through new eyes and so will other people.

Negativity begets negativity. That’s why you should flip the script. When you show more positivity, you’ll attract more positive people in your life .

4. You’ll inspire yourself to keep going

You’ll encounter all sorts of obstacles in life. You’ll feel tired, wary, and want to quit. But if you believe in yourself, you’ll look back on all your previous successes and remember that better is possible.

5. You’ll start reaching your goals

How can you reach your goals if you don’t even think you can? Your successes shouldn’t be a surprise, they should be a validation of your belief in yourself. Believing in yourself helps you focus and increases productivity. Positive thinking is infectious, and it’ll spread to others, inspiring them to believe in themselves. 

The magic happens when you have a belief in self. Of course, it isn't magic — it's your potential. And shifting into a more positive growth mindset isn't a process you have to handle alone: BetterUp coaches are here for precisely this reason. You matter, and we want to help you realize more of your potential. 

Positive self-talk is easier said than done. You must control your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Rewiring your brain to think positive thoughts in the place of criticism is tricky.

Three common roadblocks people face regarding self-belief are: 

1. Comparison

Perception is everything. Seeing someone else thriving doesn’t mean you aren’t. 

Remember, what you see on social media is what people let you see, and they don’t tend to advertise their struggles. It’s like that old saying: Don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outside. 

Plus, there’s room for both you and your peers to thrive. Feel proud of friends and colleagues that are doing well, without succumbing to envy. 

2. The past

There's some truth to the phrase, “The past can haunt you." It’s hard to shake off a rough childhood or an unhealthy relationship. Self-reflection is good, but not at the expense of your mental health. Talking to a mental health professional is a great way to work through your past struggles and stop them from affecting your present. 

3. Current relationships

Do you have that one friend that’s always putting you down? Maybe it’s a parent or a colleague that you dread seeing because they make you feel small. Human beings are social creatures by nature, but a lack of approval can be detrimental to your self-confidence .

Remember, roadblocks aren’t permanent obstacles — there’s always a way past them. Try these strategies:

• Think positively: Your thoughts make up a large part of who you are and what you do. Believing in yourself and your abilities to tackle any hurdle is an essential step to beating whatever you’re up against. 
• Visualize where you want to be : This will keep you motivated, even when things look bleak and self-doubt sets in. While you can’t change the past, you can make a better future. Whatever you want to do is possible. 
• Take action: Thinking and “talking the talk” are important but eventually, you must “walk the walk.” You’ll feel better about yourself and your skills as you make progress and see the rewards that arise from the work you’re putting in to make a change. 

Don’t let the obstacles discourage you. Below are seven ways to make a change and feel better about yourself :

1. Create healthy routines

Living well is critical to loving yourself. Feeding your body with healthy food and drink, exercising, sleeping, and taking breaks amidst your work schedule are all important. Your anxiety will decrease, and you can tackle each day with more strength. Self-love is all about maintaining a balance and doing all you can to set yourself up for success. 

2. Surround yourself with good people

Public speaker an d self-help guru Tony Robbins says, “Proximit y is power.” There's truth in that. The people you spend time with have an impact on your mindset and your motivation. Seek out people who inspire you to be your best self and the ones who help you get there.

Encouraging individuals will keep you going when things get hard, and they’ll challenge you, too.  

Be on the lookout for people with these toxic personality traits . If you find yourself drained, negative, and full of self-doubt around certain people, spend less time with them. Cut them out of your life. If that’s not possible, do your best to limit time spent together. 

3. Feed your mind

There's some truth to the law of attraction , too — the type of energy you give off comes back to you, positive and negative. While it might not really be a natural law, it's true that your mindset affects how you interact with the world and how other people interact with you.

What you fill your mind with influences how you see yourself and the world around you. 

Seek out inspiring and uplifting media, from books to movies to social media accounts. Frequent exposure to uplifting and supportive material will slowly condition your brain to think differently. Limit your time with overly pessimistic or cynical perspectives. While it's important to be realistic and embrace the ups and downs of life , cynicism erodes your belief in others, destroys your motivation, and takes away your hope for the future. It doesn't help how you feel about yourself, either. 

4. Don't let your fear stop you

Self-doubt is normal. You can’t let that hold you back. Speak up. Set goals .   Learning something new or overcoming a hurdle releases dopamine in your brain , and you’ll physically feel better with each step you take. Instead of feeling frustrated or small when errors occur, remember that you can learn from mistakes . That is, setbacks are also a potential source of growth. 

5. Draw on your inner strength 

Sometimes pushing through is all you can do. Just because you fail at a task doesn’t mean you 're a failure . D ig deep for grit, and keep going even in challenging moments. 

6. Acknowledge your victories

Celebrate the little things and the big accomplishments. Celebrate your passions. Instead of being self-critical, opt to practice self-compassion . 

7. Work on your strengths

When you’re feeling down in the dumps, it’s common to focus on your weaknesses. Instead, work to identify your strengths. It can help to ask others for feedback. Then,  focus on honing those skills — it’ll help you feel more capable.

Self-care is often put on the back burner in favor of other responsibilities, but believing in yourself is just one aspect of our well-being. 

Everyone is unique, full of possibility, capable of self-improvement , and worthy of self-belief. Using technology, world-class coaching, and evidence-based behavioral science, we strive to help every individual unlock their greater potential and purpose. 

BetterUp can be the trusted guide and accountability you need as you learn how to believe in yourself. If y ou’re willing to do the work, we’re there for you step by step.

Elizabeth Perry, ACC

Elizabeth Perry is a Coach Community Manager at BetterUp. She uses strategic engagement strategies to cultivate a learning community across a global network of Coaches through in-person and virtual experiences, technology-enabled platforms, and strategic coaching industry partnerships. With over 3 years of coaching experience and a certification in transformative leadership and life coaching from Sofia University, Elizabeth leverages transpersonal psychology expertise to help coaches and clients gain awareness of their behavioral and thought patterns, discover their purpose and passions, and elevate their potential. She is a lifelong student of psychology, personal growth, and human potential as well as an ICF-certified ACC transpersonal life and leadership Coach.

Build real self-confidence: These tips get beneath the surface

What is determination develop traits you need to succeed, stop comparing yourself to others: do these 10 things instead, how to better yourself: 15 tips to improve yourself everyday, 10 ways to become your best self, stop beating yourself up learn how to forgive yourself to move forward, what is self-efficacy definition and 7 ways to improve it, finding the way back to you — 9 tips on how to find yourself, learn how to be your own best ally for reaching your goals, similar articles, how to give yourself a boost and start feeling better, how to know yourself: tips for beginning your self-discovery journey, 13 tips to develop a growth mindset, be your own champion: 10 tips to control your mind, one life skill everybody needs: learn how to stand up for yourself, here’s how resilience can help you cope with stress, the path to self-acceptance, paved through daily practice, 10 ways to overcome adversity and thrive during hard times, stay connected with betterup, get our newsletter, event invites, plus product insights and research..

3100 E 5th Street, Suite 350 Austin, TX 78702

• Platform Overview
• Integrations
• Powered by AI
• BetterUp Lead
• BetterUp Manage™
• BetterUp Care™
• Sales Performance
• Diversity & Inclusion
• Case Studies
• Why BetterUp?
• About Coaching
• Find your Coach
• Career Coaching
• Communication Coaching
• Life Coaching
• News and Press
• Leadership Team
• Become a BetterUp Coach
• BetterUp Labs
• Center for Purpose & Performance
• Leadership Training
• Business Coaching
• Contact Support
• Contact Sales
• Privacy Policy
• Acceptable Use Policy
• Trust & Security
• Cookie Preferences

Have a language expert improve your writing

Check your paper for plagiarism in 10 minutes, generate your apa citations for free.

• Knowledge Base
• College essay

How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples

Published on September 21, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on May 31, 2023.

An insightful college admissions essay requires deep self-reflection, authenticity, and a balance between confidence and vulnerability. Your essay shouldn’t just be a resume of your experiences; colleges are looking for a story that demonstrates your most important values and qualities.

To write about your achievements and qualities without sounding arrogant, use specific stories to illustrate them. You can also write about challenges you’ve faced or mistakes you’ve made to show vulnerability and personal growth.

Table of contents

Start with self-reflection, how to write about challenges and mistakes, how to write about your achievements and qualities, how to write about a cliché experience, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

Before you start writing, spend some time reflecting to identify your values and qualities. You should do a comprehensive brainstorming session, but here are a few questions to get you started:

• What are three words your friends or family would use to describe you, and why would they choose them?
• Whom do you admire most and why?
• What are the top five things you are thankful for?
• What has inspired your hobbies or future goals?
• What are you most proud of? Ashamed of?

As you self-reflect, consider how your values and goals reflect your prospective university’s program and culture, and brainstorm stories that demonstrate the fit between the two.

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

Writing about difficult experiences can be an effective way to show authenticity and create an emotional connection to the reader, but choose carefully which details to share, and aim to demonstrate how the experience helped you learn and grow.

Be vulnerable

It’s not necessary to have a tragic story or a huge confession. But you should openly share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences to evoke an emotional response from the reader. Even a cliché or mundane topic can be made interesting with honest reflection. This honesty is a preface to self-reflection and insight in the essay’s conclusion.

Don’t overshare

With difficult topics, you shouldn’t focus too much on negative aspects. Instead, use your challenging circumstances as a brief introduction to how you responded positively.

Share what you have learned

It’s okay to include your failure or mistakes in your essay if you include a lesson learned. After telling a descriptive, honest story, you should explain what you learned and how you applied it to your life.

While it’s good to sell your strengths, you also don’t want to come across as arrogant. Instead of just stating your extracurricular activities, achievements, or personal qualities, aim to discreetly incorporate them into your story.

Brag indirectly

Mention your extracurricular activities or awards in passing, not outright, to avoid sounding like you’re bragging from a resume.

Use stories to prove your qualities

Even if you don’t have any impressive academic achievements or extracurriculars, you can still demonstrate your academic or personal character. But you should use personal examples to provide proof. In other words, show evidence of your character instead of just telling.

Many high school students write about common topics such as sports, volunteer work, or their family. Your essay topic doesn’t have to be groundbreaking, but do try to include unexpected personal details and your authentic voice to make your essay stand out .

To find an original angle, try these techniques:

• Focus on a specific moment, and describe the scene using your five senses.
• Mention objects that have special significance to you.
• Instead of following a common story arc, include a surprising twist or insight.

Your unique voice can shed new perspective on a common human experience while also revealing your personality. When read out loud, the essay should sound like you are talking.

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

Academic writing

• Writing process
• Transition words
• Passive voice
• Paraphrasing

 Communication

• How to end an email
• Ms, mrs, miss
• How to start an email
• I hope this email finds you well
• Hope you are doing well

 Parts of speech

• Personal pronouns
• Conjunctions

First, spend time reflecting on your core values and character . You can start with these questions:

However, you should do a comprehensive brainstorming session to fully understand your values. Also consider how your values and goals match your prospective university’s program and culture. Then, brainstorm stories that illustrate the fit between the two.

When writing about yourself , including difficult experiences or failures can be a great way to show vulnerability and authenticity, but be careful not to overshare, and focus on showing how you matured from the experience.

Through specific stories, you can weave your achievements and qualities into your essay so that it doesn’t seem like you’re bragging from a resume.

Include specific, personal details and use your authentic voice to shed a new perspective on a common human experience.

Cite this Scribbr article

If you want to cite this source, you can copy and paste the citation or click the “Cite this Scribbr article” button to automatically add the citation to our free Citation Generator.

Courault, K. (2023, May 31). How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples. Scribbr. Retrieved April 2, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/college-essay/write-about-yourself/

Is this article helpful?

Kirsten Courault

Other students also liked, style and tone tips for your college essay | examples, what do colleges look for in an essay | examples & tips, how to make your college essay stand out | tips & examples, "i thought ai proofreading was useless but..".

I've been using Scribbr for years now and I know it's a service that won't disappoint. It does a good job spotting mistakes”

The Power of Believing in Yourself

The love, happiness & success podcast with dr. lisa marie bobby.

It’s the stuff of motivational bumper stickers, but it also happens to be true: Believing in yourself is a prerequisite to reaching your goals and making positive changes in your life. 

But if believing in yourself was as easy as making the choice to trust in your own goodness, resilience, and competence in the face of all life’s challenges, you wouldn’t be interested in this podcast episode, would you?

No. Fundamentally changing your self-concept is a little more complicated than thinking happy thoughts. It involves seeking out new experiences that help you connect with your own incredible power to make good things happen, and then using those experiences to propel yourself forward. This article will show you how.

I’ve also created an episode of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast on this topic. My guest is Elise R., M.Ed., NCC, CCC, LPCC. Elise is a therapist , a life coach , and an expert in holistic life design . She’s helped countless people develop their self-confidence and self-esteem, and then construct their pathway forward with optimism and intention. Now, Elise is sharing her wisdom with you. You can tune in on this page, Apple podcasts , Spotify , or wherever you listen. 

Grow Together

Schedule a free consultation today..

Admittedly, believing in yourself can be easier said than done. Our self-esteem , self-confidence, and feelings of personal empowerment are the result of deeply ingrained mental habits that start forming in early childhood. After decades of reinforcement, you can’t dramatically shift those habits in an instant simply by thinking positive thoughts. 

But you can intentionally form new mental habits that help you believe in yourself, and that will support you in making positive, lasting change . Here’s how. 

Where Is Your Locus of Control? 

Everybody “believes in themselves” to some degree. In psychologist speak, this is called your level of “self-efficacy,” or your internal belief in your own power to create the outcomes you desire. Having a higher level of self-efficacy helps you set ambitious goals (because you believe you can accomplish them), approach challenges with optimism (because you expect you’ll be able to figure them out), and persevere through setbacks (because you believe success is waiting for you on the other side). 

When your self-efficacy is low, you don’t set your goals high enough — in fact, you might not set goals at all. You expect tasks to be harder than they are, and you often don’t expect your efforts to pay off. When setbacks arise, you’re quick to give up. 

Your self-efficacy will be shaped by where your personal “locus of control” lies. People with an internal locus of control believe they’re in control of their own lives, and that their actions will shape their outcomes. People with an external locus of control believe that outside factors have a greater impact on their lives than their own efforts do. 

Shifting to an Internal Locus of Control

Luckily, having an internal locus of control is something you can practice. Taking responsibility is one powerful trick. When something doesn’t go your way, it’s human to look to outside factors to explain it — it’s easier on the ego, and it doesn’t require us to do the hard work of changing our behavior. 

But it also strips you of all your power. If everything is happening to you because of other people or circumstances beyond your control, you have no ability to create positive change. But if you can find one or two things that you could do differently to create a better outcome? Now you have something to work with. 

Taking responsibility is not about beating yourself up . It’s about taking advantage of the opportunities you have to create the life you want. 

Raising Kids that Believe in Themselves

Our attitudes about ourselves usually stem from experiences in our family of origin. For parents , that means that, if your goal is to raise happy, resilient, confident adults , you need to help your children begin to experience a sense of their personal power now. 

There are so many ways you can do this. Letting your kids make age-appropriate choices, and then experience the natural benefits (or consequences) of those choices, is one way to help them learn about responsibility and self-efficacy. You could also look for ways to let your kids have more influence in your family, which will teach them that their thoughts, feelings, and desires are important and that they can create real change. 

When well-meaning parents raise their children in strict environments where being obedient is the most important value, kids learn that how they feel and what they want is irrelevant. They may become disconnected from their own feelings and desires, and develop a sense of helplessness that they’ll carry into adulthood. 

Many of the people reading this article are here to unlearn that sense of helplessness. If you’re a parent who would like to save your child from that task in the future, you can do so by helping them become empowered now. 

Mastery Experiences and Believing in Yourself

Think about someone who you don’t think highly of. Maybe it’s an incompetent coworker, who’s always making careless mistakes that set the whole team back. Or maybe it’s a former friend who proved to not be such a great friend after all. 

What would it take to change your mind about that person? Could your coworker tell you “I’m going to do better from now on, so you can put me in charge of that big, important project?” Could the “friend” simply promise not to put you down anymore? 

No. Your opinion would only change if you could actually experience the other person behaving differently over a period of time. Your coworker would need to consistently deliver good work, probably for quite awhile, before your views started to shift. You would need to see your friend reliably follow through on their promise to treat you better. 

Changing your narratives about yourself works in exactly the same way. You need to have experiences that show you that you are capable of doing hard things and creating successful outcomes in order to form positive beliefs about yourself and your abilities. 

These are called “mastery experiences,” and they’re a powerful tool for building self-efficacy. The concept is simple: To become a confident baker, you need to make a few cakes. To become a confident public speaker, you need to do some public speaking. 

When you take action, see the results, and feel the results, you can no longer tell yourself the same story about not being capable. Instead, the story might become about the steps you could take to do even better next time. Your “locus of control” moves a little bit closer to your center.

Building an Empowered Career

Your level of self-efficacy has a big impact on every corner of your life, but it has a huge influence over your career in particular. 

When career coaching or counseling clients tell the “story of their careers,” and explain where they are now mostly by pointing to external factors (like messages they received from their parents, or the state of the economy, or the actions of a particularly bad manager), that’s a tip-off that they’re not in touch with their true power to build the career they want . 

It’s not that your family, or the economy, or the people you work for have zero influence over the way your career unfolds. But if you believe that your entire working life can be explained by external factors, there isn’t much that even the world’s best career coach can do for you — until you shake that disempowered belief system loose and replace it with something more useful, and more realistic.  

If you’ve had some disempowering experiences in the past, a good career coach can help you reconnect with your ability to strategically forge your career path and design the life you want , regardless of outside obstacles. 

Habits and Self-Efficacy

Habits are one of the most powerful tools in your toolbox for self-development, and having a higher level of self-efficacy can help you tap into them. These little choices don’t amount to much on their own — like brushing your teeth, or putting aside a hundred bucks in your savings account — but when you make these choices a keystone habit , you can exert a major positive influence over your life. 

Without a healthy level of self-efficacy, keeping up your positive habits is a challenge. It’s hard to cultivate the grit or “stick-to-it-iveness” that good habits require if you don’t believe on a deep level that you have the power to shape your outcomes through your actions. 

But even if your self-efficacy is low, you can “fake it until you make it” with your habits. Once you form a healthy habit, the benefits that begin to flow to you make it easier to maintain. You begin to see yourself as the kind of person who’s capable of creating a healthy habit and sticking to it. Your self-efficacy rises, creating a positive feedback loop that makes you more likely to hold onto your healthy habit, and more confident in your power to form new ones. 

Believing in Yourself When You Don’t Feel Like It

We all cycle through moods on a daily basis, and some mood states are more conducive to believing in yourself than others. Being just a little bit tired, or hungry, or stressed out can majorly affect how optimistic and confident you feel about yourself and your ability to make good things happen in your life. 

All this mood variation can feel like a barrier to building self-efficacy. But, since your confidence fluctuates so much depending on your mood, obviously your self-doubt-y or pessimistic feelings are not an objective source of information about your true abilities. You are no less capable and competent a person when you’re a bit sleepy than you are when you’re feeling great. 

And you don’t have to wait until a better mood comes along to begin taking positive action toward your goals . Just taking a small step in the right direction can reconnect you with your feelings of personal empowerment, and a better emotional state will often follow. 

How to Believe in Yourself: It’s Not About Perfection

You don’t have to believe that you’re perfect to believe in yourself. You are a resourceful, effective person who is well-equipped to respond to a wide range of challenges as they arise, and if you look at your life history I’m sure you can think of countless instances when you did just that. 

Believing in yourself is about trusting yourself to figure things out as you go, make mistakes and learn from them, and course correct until you reach your destination. 

I believe you can do that. Do you?

Music in this episode is by Kutandara with their song “Nyungwe.” You can support them and their work by visiting kutandara.org. Under the circumstance of use of music, each portion of used music within this current episode fits under Section 107 of the Copyright Act, i.e., Fair Use. Please refer to copyright.gov if further questions are prompted.

Listen & Subscribe to the Podcast

Free, expert advice — for you., subscribe to the love, happiness, and success podcast.

Lisa Marie Bobby : This is Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, and you’re listening to the Love, Happiness and Success podcast. On today’s show, we’re talking about the power of believing in yourself and why this is so vital to everything else. Believing in yourself and that ‘yes, you can’ is actually the foundation to being able to do most things. On today’s show, we’re gonna talk about why that is and how you can develop this belief in yourself.

If you can’t stop smiling right now and aren’t sure why there is actually a reason, it is because you are currently basking in the energy of Kutandara. Kutandara is a nonprofit musical education program that is based in my hometown of Boulder County, Colorado, and they are teaching, generally, children and adolescents the art and craft of Zimbabwean music from Southern Africa. 

I had the great pleasure of encountering this collective while out and about one day. They were performing in public. If you can imagine a bunch of 12 to, probably, 17 year old kids, just like 12 of them, like banging away on these xylophones and drums and having the best time, they’re all smiling and dancing and just playing this gorgeous music, and just bathed in their own personal joy and beaming this energy out to everyone in their radius. 

It was the most glorious thing I have felt in a while. Everybody was having the best time. The energy was contagious, and I walked away thinking what a cool experience for these kids to have. They are experiencing themselves doing something amazing and feeling great about it, and that’s the message of today’s show. They believe they can because they’re actually doing it, and you can too with the right mindset, and the right support. 

Also, as an aside, if you would like to learn more about Kutandara and what they do, you can check out kutandara.org , their music, their programs. Also, just a little reminder that you probably have one or more nonprofit music education programs, art education programs, all kinds of other cool stuff in your community that is supporting this kind of development and self actualization in the kids near you, and anything, I think, we can all do to support these programs. Lifts everybody’s boat, so consider it. All right, now, on with the show.

Lisa Marie Bobby : On today’s episode, we’re covering a topic that’s really key to changing anything and everything in your life, and that key is believing in yourself. I know that that sounds super corny, and you may already be starting to tune me out. But, I want you to know that when I’m talking about believing in yourself, this is not going to be like some pep talk where like, love yourself, believe in yourself, we’re gonna stencil that on your wall, and then everything will be great, right? 

Now, we’re actually talking about something that is much deeper, and something that is within your power to create and change. There is no shortage of this power of positivity stuff happening out there. I think that some of that can honestly be a little bit toxic and demoralizing for us if we’re being admonished to believe in yourself and love yourself and all the things and so we’re not doing this.

What we are going to be doing is talking about what believing in yourself really refers to, like in the psychological context and that is something called locus of control. People who have a high locus of control also have something called self efficacy. I know that these are technical, kind of psychological terms, but what they are referring to is the self concept around how much power you feel that you have to have control over and create change in your own life circumstances. 

People who have a low locus of control and a low internalized self efficacy, they feel somewhat helpless in their lives. They feel like they are at the mercy of outside circumstances. Even if they wanted to, they don’t really have the power or the ability to change their circumstances. As a result, they really don’t, because they don’t believe that they can on a very fundamental level. 

So these ideas are elementally important to being able to change anything, from your health to your relationship to your self concept to your career. They’re incredibly important to be able to do when you believe in yourself and your own ability to have power and control over your own life. You can get things done. You’re better at coping with stress burnout. You have more positive relationships, and you also feel happier, not to mention, more resilient. 

That’s what we’re going to be talking about on today’s episode is really like digging into, Okay, all sounds good, but how specifically do I accomplish these things. To do this with me, I have invited my colleague, Elise, to talk with us today on this episode. Elise is an amazing member of our team here at Growing Self. She is a therapist who specializes in career counseling, career coaching, and also I think of it as like life design. 

So personal and professional development, coaching and really, her specialty is helping people come in with this big jumble of who am I and what do I want out of my life, getting it all straightened out and set in a direction to achieve it. She’s here today to share her knowledge with you. So thank you, Elise, so much for being here.

Elise : Yes, I’m so excited. This topic is everything, and so I’m really excited to talk more about it with you.

Lisa : Well, I’m so glad. First, I think, I don’t know, do you feel like we talked sufficiently about how this is really different from the ideas that get conveyed in that toxic positivity realm of like, love yourself, believe in yourself. It’s like, I feel like we hear that so much. They stop being meaningful at all. Have you experienced that?

Elise : Yes. Honestly, it’s this thought that okay, if I’m not positive, then I’m not going to get anywhere. It’s hard to find that positivity sometimes within yourself, and this is coming from me where my top strength from the Gallup StrengthsFinder is positivity. 

Lisa : Really? Is that why you’re so cheerful? Okay, well, we need to talk about this.

Elise : But, I see positivity as something that’s more internal, and that’s why I love that you’re connecting it more to self efficacy today with the power of believing in yourself. Because without that, we’re not going to have that true internal positivity and mindset to allow us to get to where we want to go. So, we have to talk about that.

Lisa : Totally. You do not have to be a positive person to have a strong internal locus of control. You could be a highly negative person. It’s okay, and you could still get things done.

Elise : Yes, and as I think about this topic, too, I always think about how there are so many words that are similar, so we’ve got positivity. We’ve got things like motivation and confidence and self esteem. As I think about addressing just the listeners out there, I want them to know that it’s all of those things that combined to help you have that higher self efficacy. 

But I also wanted to find out a little bit more specifically, because I’ll be using some of those definitions as I go forward. When I think about motivation, it’s this desire to achieve some sort of goal, so think about what is your why, what’s that motivation. That’s still not self efficacy fully, it’s part of it.

Lisa : You can want to do something and still not believe in yourself or that you can, check.

Elise : Exactly, and then there’s your confidence, which a lot of clients come in, and they’re like, I feel confident, like, I feel like I can do this. It’s their belief in themselves, but often, that’s not the full part of the puzzle that gets them to where they want to go, so they still feel stuck. And then with self esteem, that’s more, in my mind, related to where you get your self worth from, and you define it in a unique way for yourself. 

So, that’s going to look different from one person to the next. It’s also where you find that value in yourself, but still is not what self efficacy is. If you’re feeling like you’re kind of in that spot, where you’ve got the motivation, you feel like you know you’re good enough. You’re doing great. You have the confidence, but you’re still getting stuck. That’s where the belief comes from in self efficacy. 

Because it’s really this combination of believing that you’re capable of producing an outcome and accomplishing your goals, and you can’t forget about it, you have to have both sides.

Lisa : Yeah, yeah. Like there’s almost this like, a will component to it, just like believing that it is fundamentally possible, like my actions have an impact on the world. It’s so crazy to think about, but I wonder if we could just talk about this other dimension of it for just a second is because there are a lot of people who arrive into adulthood for a variety of reasons, who fundamentally do not believe that they have power or control over their circumstances and over the way their life trajectory unfolds. 

It’s very much determined by others. Why is that? In your experience, where does this learned helplessness come from?

Elise : Yes, there can be so many things that contribute to that for folks. One of the important aspects that I think needs to be mentioned is that, sometimes, we don’t have a choice of where we come from, or what our background is, or the things that we have experienced in life. We didn’t ask for some of the hardships. We didn’t ask for the location that we grew up, in the family that we were born into. 

Some of those things can absolutely make it feel like we don’t have control over where we’re going. I’m reminded of the quote here. I think it was Teddy Roosevelt. He said, “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” I think the belief part relates to what you’re asking about, it’s kind of that internal narrative about I failed in these aspects, or I can’t quite get past this barrier, and that’s only half of the story. 

The other half is what you’re doing to kind of take more of that control back. Is it practicing a skill? Is it developing some social capital? Is it fill in the blank? Goals can be so, so broad and so general. But belief, I think, is where it has to start and understanding your story, and what that story means and really what you’re saying to yourself and believing about yourself to get you to the halfway part before you start working on what you can control.

Lisa : Actually, I have to tell you something as we’re talking in this. Well, I hope it’s okay for me to share on the air. You are about to be a parent for the first time and I know we have many listeners of this podcast who are also parents. This whole conversation is actually making me think about an experience that I had just yesterday. I was in the grocery store with my soon to be four year old daughter, and I actually had this, because I think about this lot, like people’s feelings of power and control. 

I actually — not saying that I’m like the best parent in the universe. I’m sure many things could be improved upon. But, one of the things that I’ve been very conscious of doing is helping my children feel powerful. They have influence and so it means the silliest example, we were walking past the display, and of course, there was a thing of gummy worms. My daughter was like, “Gummy worms!” And I, originally, had this mom thing, where it was like, “You do not need gummy worms, gummy worms are not on the list.” 

I can sort of feel myself like launching into, like steering that the cart back towards the vegetables, right? But then, I actually had this moment. I was like, gummy worms, yeah. We steered the cart back over and let her pick the little box of gummy worms off the shelf. It was a very deliberate like parenting choice, because sugar and nutritional value aside, like, I want her to internalize this feeling that she can have efficacy. She can have control. 

She’s a powerful human, and she can make things happen, like she just made that happen. I worry sometimes that people arrive in adulthood, particularly in either very harsh or even sometimes neglectful parenting environments, and they did not have that experience. So I mean, do you have any thoughts or advice for people who have really had a lot of life experiences from an early age where, what I wanted, didn’t really matter that much. 

And I tried to make things happen, and it didn’t work. I didn’t have influence. I mean, that’s like foundational stuff, and that’s hard to like will yourself into believing if you have a lifetime of experience where it hasn’t been true. I mean, where would you begin?

Elise : Yes, I’d say it takes a lot of practice. That is absolutely a huge tenant of self efficacy is that we want what’s called mastery experiences, which I hope we get to talk about a little bit more later, but that your mastery experiences absolutely are impacted by past experiences. When you feel masterful, you’re probably going to have a little bit higher self efficacy, because you see success. You’re seeing results. You’re feeling good. 

If you’re not having those mastery experiences, or you’ve been in situations that have led to lower efficacy beliefs, it’s really hard to take that power back because you haven’t had the mastery experience in a way that you could have. And so even experiencing, it sometimes feels like incredibly foreign and different than like, Wait, what is this I’m experiencing right now, when it’s going well. 

I go back to the story aspect. I always go back to what are you believing, and what are you experiencing? Another quote comes to mind, I love metaphors, and it’s related to how you don’t remember what someone says, you remember how they made you feel. I think with self efficacy related experiences, it’s relatively similar that we might not remember all the ins and outs of his situations, but we know how we interpret it in our minds. 

That’s how we create what I like to call our private logic about our life and our own story. Oftentimes, those stories we tell ourselves, even though they’re based in evidence, potentially, and things that have happened to us. They don’t have to define us. They don’t have to be the final thing that allows us to stay where we’re at, maybe not allows us but like, almost forces us or makes us think we have to stay where we’re at. 

But, this is all about taking that power back, and how practicing understanding what your beliefs are about yourself and about your own story can start unlocking those things that are not serving you in this current season of life, and start paving a pathway forward that is a little bit more honoring of who you are now, and also who you want to become.

Lisa : Well, that’s really good advice and so hopeful, because like, I think I’m hearing you say that, yeah, maybe you’re right. Maybe you have had life experiences where you haven’t been empowered, and so you don’t feel empowered, and like that can be so subconscious in some ways. Like, we don’t even know sometimes what those narratives are. But if you can realize that you have that deep internal belief of I don’t have any control, nothing I do matters, if you figure that out, then what you can do is begin practicing doing that things and feeling the results and seeing the results.

It’s almost like retraining yourself so that even if you don’t feel or believe in yourself or that you have power and control when you start, the act of practicing and behaving in this way, will kind of reset your clock and put you on the path towards the experience of mastery. Is that it?

Elise : Yeah, yeah. Like how you talked about it in the way of kind of almost reframing. I guess that’s another word I would use to describe that process that, yeah, these things have happened potentially in your past or are currently happening, and what are you subconsciously believing about that, and how can you reframe it with new data and evidence that allows you to take your power back and recognize your internal locus of control, rather than the external ones, which maybe is where some of those beliefs are coming from. 

I always say that we are the masters of our own beliefs, and it can also make us feel not very masterful, because our subconscious can be kind of tricky. Because we’re human beings, we’re wired to survive, but we want to wire folks to thrive. So that’s where the reframing process can be really, really helpful and powerful.

Lisa : Yeah.

Elise : And challenging. 

Lisa : But also, though, just what a compassionate statement and I think that’s so important for us to be talking about explicitly is just what you were saying about survival, right? So I think, like, there are a lot of adults running around out there and not, oh, I don’t believe in myself. I don’t really love myself, like, that’s just another thing to beat yourself up about, right? If you’d like, don’t have that. 

But, can we just like pause and honor what you just said for a second, because like, if you are a child growing up in a family, that is very aggressive. It’s controlling, it abusive, even, if you did assert yourself in that situation, there would have been very severe consequences, right? You couldn’t do that at an earlier stage of life. Or if you grew up in a family where there was a lot of neglect, and there wasn’t anybody there to hear you to try to make that be different would have created an enormous amount of pain. 

So, I just want to honor and like, give a shout out to all those people listening to this, who did exactly what they needed to do. It was the right thing in order to survive those circumstances. Now, in this adult space, you get to decide how much power you have, and that’s different. Thank you for bringing that up.

Elise : Yeah, you get to decide what serves you and what is not serving you any longer, because you still can’t change what happened, but you can change how you think about it. If it’s not serving you anymore, where do you put that? Do I take it with you every day? Hopefully not. That’s what the process of coaching and counseling can really help with is, let’s set some goals. Let’s understand that backstory, and let’s help you build a toolbox that’s full of mastery that allows you to thrive and not just survive anymore.

Lisa : Now, I know that in your career, you’re a career development specialist. So, you’re really working a lot with people who are understanding themselves in that intersection of personal growth and professional development. Can you say a little bit about what you have noticed in your clients when it comes to their career domain between people who have that high self efficacy and internal locus of control compared to people who have low self efficacy or an external locus of control? What does that tend to look like with career?

Elise : Yes, that’s such a great question. Oftentimes, it is very evident when we first start working together where a client might be at in experiencing their own self efficacy. Generally, how I like to start off working with folks is, in a very first session, we do what’s called your career story. Again, that’s a very big theme today with me. I love the narrative aspect, because I want to understand your career beliefs specifically, and where you’re coming from. 

So with that career story, with folks with higher self efficacy, regardless of the ups and downs, the ins and outs of their career, they’re generally feeling excited and hopeful and ready to look for what’s next. That’s generally why folks will kind of come and work with me as a career counselor is hey, I’m ready for what could be next. What do we do? How do we do that? 

So, noticing their beliefs about, yes, okay, I’ve got some hunches about what I might want to do. I just need a little bit more clarity or a little bit of support in this area. Those often lead to higher self efficacy beliefs, and then we get to do some really great work to help them do that in whatever way makes the most sense. In that career story session with folks who might have a little lower self efficacy in career things specifically, I noticed a lot of just pain. 

Honestly, with my backstory is this. I’m only doing this job because it’s what I found. I was job searching during the recession back in the early 2000s, and I couldn’t find something, so I just landed here. Even folks with a pandemic, I haven’t found anything and it’s been months. Isn’t the great resignation a good sign? Why am I still not finding something? So, there’s a lot of that questioning. 

If I’m noticing a lot of that, my spidey senses internally are thinking, we might have some, some negative self thoughts that are impacting this career story, which is a sign of that lower self efficacy.

Lisa : But unlike kind of looking outwards, looking at external circumstances, and so here are all these reasons why I had to do what I did, as opposed to.

Elise : Yes, or oh, I don’t have the right skills on the job posting, so I can’t apply for this job, or I’ve never worked in this industry before, so I don’t think I’m going to be able to find a job. Fill in the blank. There’s lots of different reasons, especially career, which is a huge part of life.

Lisa : Yeah. Oh, yeah. Totally. So would you say that those are, because that was another question, I mean, like, for people listening to this, how do you know where you kind of are on that spectrum of efficacy. Like, if you’re on the low end, is that one of the ways you would kind of be able to tell is almost like listening to yourself talk? Like, is it let me tell you about these 87 reasons why I can’t do something?

Elise : That can be part of it. Yeah, and one of the questions I love to ask folks to reflect on more as we begin career specific work, is what are some of your most prized accomplishments in your career? Oftentimes, again, if you have a hard time coming up with those, or even if you say, like, oh, I lead this really amazing training at some point, but then you have 12 reasons why it didn’t go well that follow your story of accomplishment. That can be an indicator of like, there’s something else going on beneath the surface here.

Lisa : Yeah. So you’re saying like, just cracking into that, like that mental filter, that inner narrative, and I’m glad that we’re talking about this too, because it can be very difficult to like know what that is. Like, we’re all kind of simmering in our own broth, and we aren’t like consciously aware of the things that we just sort of automatically tell ourselves. So, it can take some effort, but that’s one of the ways that you can understand how empowered you really believe yourself to be.

Elise : Yes, exactly. I think the other really important aspect to career specific self efficacy is also knowing yourself. If I ask clients, what are your skills or what are your strengths? Tell me about your dreams for your career. If those are really hard questions, then we often need to start in the self clarity phase of career work to understand who you are, and what those most amazing aspects are of yourself that you’re taking with you. 

Because as you get to know yourself, you’re taking your power back. You’re understanding, oh, I really love public speaking. No wonder I love doing presentations in my last job. Whereas before, they might have thought, oh, I didn’t like anything about my last job. So, we’re kind of picking the best pieces, and putting together that new story, while also developing clarity, which will naturally build efficacy and help folks move closer and closer to where they’re meant to be, and get out of their own way, too.

Lisa : I hear you and in that exploration, I’m just curious if this ever comes up. Do you ever find that there’s like a necessary balance sort of between that like self efficacy, believing in yourself, but also having a, I don’t want to use the word self doubt, but like the ability to I mean, because overconfidence is not necessarily good for people either. But, I guess if you had to choose, I’d go with overconfident like you can always back up, right? But how can somebody, I guess, assess between like what they’re thinking about like? Is this a reasonable caution? Is this an obstacle that I need to think about to overcome? Are these doubts that I’m having something that I should listen to? Or am I having self doubts because I feel somewhat helpless on the inside? How can you tell if it’s a reasonable obstacle or one that you’re kind of creating because you expect it won’t work anyway?

Elise : Right. Oh, I think that’s where it’s so tricky, because there might even be both happening. 

Lisa : Yeah. Oh, yeah. That’s also true. Spoken like a true therapist. Both is the correct answer to most things.

Elise : Always in the end, right? I would say, honestly, if it’s more of this internal helplessness, that’s gonna show up pretty consistently as you’re thinking about career or about other aspects of your life. If it’s other types of obstacles, you might be thinking about it pretty consistently, but you might have ideas on what to do about it, or ways to learn about it. I guess to give a little bit more background on career specific self efficacy, this might help a little bit. 

There’s four different aspects that I’m usually assessing for and thinking about and whether it’s kind of that like deeper hopelessness, or like, oh, we just have some obstacles to overcome . Those four things are those mastery experiences that we’ve mentioned a couple of times, obviously, successful build it, and failure, or perceived failure will diminish it. If you’re having experiences of mastery, like you write a really awesome resume and you feel good about it, that’s going to help you build a little bit more to go over that obstacle of your resume was an obstacle. 

Another aspect is vicarious learning, which is where we actually form judgments about our own ability to do something based on watching others do it. So if someone has witnessed a parent, a family member or a friend, anyone go through a job search and have certain experiences, you might be taking that on and thinking, well, if they couldn’t find a job, then I’m not going to be able to find a job. 

If they didn’t get a good offer at the end of the interview, then I absolutely will not get a good offer. Or the positive could also be true. If someone has a really great experience and finds this awesome company, another person might say, “Yeah, I can do that. I can find a company like that, too, that fits me.” So, we’re always learning. The next one is social persuasion, which is about receiving feedback from others. 

Again, this can be both positive and negative. You can receive negative feedback that goes more into that helplessness feeling where you were told once that you don’t communicate well, and you feel like well, how am I supposed to interview if I’ve been told that I don’t indicate well, and that can really persuade you from doing what you need to do. Or if you receive great feedback about your communication to stay with the same example, you’re gonna feel like, yeah, this might be an obstacle right now, because I’m nervous going into my interview, but I can do this. 

I know, I can do this. And then, the last one is thinking about your physiological and affective states. So how are you literally feeling? How is your body responding in all of these situations? Sometimes, our body can totally work against us leading to some of that helplessness feeling. Maybe, you have some anxiety surrounding your performance or about your ability to make change, or maybe, you feel very energized by the process of change, but the way that you’re thinking about how you’re responding will also, I think, impact that helplessness versus, okay, that’s just an obstacle.

Lisa : So it sounds like there’s a change process that can happen through these different components of mastery over time. I think I also heard that sometimes the difference between this internalized helplessness versus an actual problem is how global it is. Do you know what I mean? Like, is it coming up in specific circumstances? Or is this what you usually do? Right? 

Like, cause, I mean, just, I was a biology major in college and for a little while, thought about going to medical school like to be a real doctor, which, of course, I didn’t because I do have tend to have like a high self efficacy, like, “Yes, I can.” I also had this realization over the course of obtaining a biology degree that I really probably couldn’t do or be successful, like organic chemistry, like some of the math. 

Like I’m not good at that, I’m good at other things, but it was like, pretty specific to that circumstance as opposed to a global, like, I can’t pursue higher education and go on to help people in a professional role. It was like that kind of difference. But you’re saying too, that the experiences that you have along the way through that mastery process can kind of shape that one way or the other.

Like the experiences that you have learning from other people, which kind of makes me think that you could use those points that you raised to kind of develop your sense of empowerment. Is that another piece of it? Like if you if you’re pretty sure, like, No, I think I probably can, but I’m talking myself out of it. The key would be to try to find that affirming feedback, try to find positive role models, try to find new evidence. Is that what you’re saying?

Elise : Yes, definitely. As I think about the process of self efficacy, especially with helplessness versus obstacles, I absolutely view it as you can be in either one of those books.

Lisa: Elise, where’d you go? Oh. So you guys, going to invite you behind the curtain of podcast production, the good, the bad and ugly. Elise and I were having the most wonderful conversation and continued to have a wonderful conversation without either of us realizing that her audio had stopped recording somewhere along the way, and so this presented an interesting conundrum when we found this out after the fact, because immediately it was like what to do. 

Since we first talked, I’m pleased to report that Elise has had her baby and is currently on maternity leave. So of course, I’m not going to pester her to re-record this with me. Then, I think I had a parallel process. I’m sure many of you are familiar with this experience. So, what do we do? Do we pretend like that was intentional and just roll out a 30 minute podcast, as opposed to our usual longer ones?

Pretend like it was on purpose. But then I thought, you know what, this is such a nice opportunity to really illustrate authenticity, which I know is something that we talk about a lot on the show. Also, I think it really relates to the topic that we were talking about, with Elise around the power of believing in yourself, and the power of being able to have something kind of go wrong. 

Have weird curveballs thrown at you, and really take it in stride. Use it as a learning opportunity. I still don’t know why Elise’s audio stopped working, when I’m going to figure it out. Also, though, that’s this idea, like, the main point of the entire conversation is that it’s gonna be okay. You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t know exactly what you are going to be doing all the time. 

Things don’t go the way that you planned , and you can just try things and see how it goes. Just have this general expectation that it’s going to be okay, and that doing something, typically, is better than doing nothing at all. Certainly not trying to hide or avoid, or pretend to be perfect and infallible, rather than rolling with it. So, I trust you guys that you understand and appreciate this show, and everything that we’re doing here and are not going to judge me for not being perfect. 

So, I really appreciate that about our relationship, thank you. But, I also really wanted to communicate to you guys the rest of what Elise and I talked about. Elise had a number of really amazing points after the audio stopped rolling, and so went back through and thought about what we discussed and wanted to share the rest of it with you so that this episode is complete for you. Ideally, the way we do these is for them to be genuinely helpful for you. So, using my own imperfection as a model here.

The next thing that we talked about, interestingly, is that self efficacy is not about needing to be perfect, or believing that being good enough is actually about being perfect, right? True self efficacy and believing in yourself is believing that you have the ability to figure things out as you go. You do not have to have everything all planned out in advance. You don’t need to know exactly what is going to happen before you start taking steps forward. 

It’s like driving a car. You can only see a certain distance in front of you. You can’t see the whole route ahead. But, you trust that there’s a road ahead and if you encounter an obstacle or need to course correct, you can when you need to. You don’t need to spend a ton of time or energy thinking about what exactly is going to happen or how you’re going to handle it ahead of time. When you trust yourself of, “You know what, I am generally competent person.” 

When circumstances present themselves, I trust myself to be able to handle whatever those are in an appropriate way , so I’m okay. I could just stay in the present, because to get too future focused creates a lot of paralysis, right? When we are trying to close loops, when we are trying to make decisions about things that we legitimately don’t have enough information about yet, when we’re trying to solve possible problems far in the future, we cannot and it creates paralysis and a lot of self doubt and anxiety in the present. 

So, today’s podcast is a great example. I had no idea that was going to happen and it doesn’t matter. This can still be a nice episode for everybody anyway, right? The goal here with believing in yourself is really believing in and intentionally cultivating the ability to be flexible, to not fall apart when weird things happen, and to adapt to changing circumstances. So, that’s something that Elise and I talked about and I think is something worth reflecting on further as you’re listening to this today is, how do you feel, typically, when things don’t go as planned?

Do you feel like that creates a huge obstacle? Do you kind of fall apart and stop? Does it create paralysis? Or are you able to be like, alright, well, that didn’t work, what else are we gonna do, and kind of create an alternate route to the same destination. So, just thinking about how you typically handle those things will give you some insight into your current level of self efficacy, right? 

People who believe in themselves find another way when the door is locked, and therefore we will go through the window. That kind of mindset, which is worth cultivating. Really, I think spending time maybe thinking about moments in the past when you have been resourceful, when you have encountered an obstacle and figured it out. Maybe, it wasn’t the perfect outcome and it was still okay and that is meaningful. 

Thinking about resilience, I think is an important part of believing in yourself, how it’s not about avoiding problems or preventing weird or non ideal things from happening. That really personal power is being resilient in the face of them. Everybody experiences failure, rejection, disappointment, things not working out the way they hoped, and it is about managing that and being okay, anyway, that of certainly we can have feelings about those things. 

I will not lie. I had a surge of “Oh!” I found out the audio was broken, but, we recover. We move on. These are all ideas that you can really intentionally practice and cultivate. What is really neat is if you get in the habit of doing this, that every obstacle, setback, disappointment becomes an opportunity to increase your skills and competence and comfort and capacity in these really important areas. 

So, we are reframing this as a positive thing as Elise so insightfully shared in our conversation. Another really important thing that Elise and I went on to talk about, is around the power of habit, believe it or not, habits meaning the things that we do routinely, on purpose, sometimes not on purpose, the things we do routinely, and how they contribute to our feelings of either empowerment, or disempowerment. 

We talked about the fact that our habits are made up of these tiny daily choices that seem inconsequential on their own, right? Do you spend three minutes thinking about what you’re doing before you sit down for the work day? Do you put your clothes in the hamper or leave them on the floor of your closet? I mean, like, what do you do, tiny little things, and the extent to which they impact not just our life circumstances, and not just the way we feel, but really, over time, aggregate and accumulate into situations that have the power to shape our future and to shape our reality. 

Stay with me. But if you have low self efficacy, if you sort of believe that nothing matters anyway, and it doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do, then it is difficult to have motivation to maintain very small healthy habits. Because if they feel genuinely irrelevant or inconsequential. You don’t believe in your power to create the outcome that you want. So for example, there is no magic bullet when it comes to really creating big, long term, permanent changes in your life. 

So, health would be a good example. You could walk every day. You could eat a generally healthy diet, and really objectively not experience much of a difference in the way you feel day to day. Maybe some improvements but, you’re not going to miraculously drop 80 pounds overnight, right? And so, there isn’t a lot of evidence that what you’re doing is having much of a positive impact when it comes to stuff like that. Many things are like that. 

Relationships, you can deliberately try to be nicer and kinder and more polite to your partner in small ways for a couple of weeks. Particularly, if you have been in a negative relational system with them for a long time, it’s not really going to create a lot of immediate change, because they are stuck in a very powerful narrative about who they are and who you are, and what this is. 

It takes a long time to change that, or the support of a professional to kind of break through it more, more quickly. But if you don’t really have that confidence, and understanding in your own ability to create big changes through playing a long game , and have that ongoing confidence that the small things you do every day do actually matter, they do accumulate. They do create powerful change over time like that drop of water dripping on a rock, like a couple million years from now, will actually have enough power to create a canyon where that little drop of water is that sense of self efficacy. 

That power of believing in yourself is very much connected to these ideas of grit, of continuing to try in the face of not having a lot of immediate positive reinforcement, not having things be immediately gratifying. The other piece of this is that it’s very well known that accomplishing any long term goals requires little increments of work every day to create these outcomes rather than these big sweeping changes that rely on you doing extreme things or having these big bursts of motivation. 

But the other thing that is true, it is very much related to the self efficacy idea is that you can fake it till you make it with your habits. If you are intentionally cultivating a positive habit that you know is going to create positive change in yourself and your circumstances in your relationships over the long haul, you will be able to attune your thinking to see the small, incremental, very subtle changes that do actually happen day to day, and that are very easy to miss, if you are have already decided that it doesn’t matter anyway. 

In very real ways, we all choose what we want to see. What we experience, typically, matches our preconceived ideas of what is going to happen, right? So when you are cultivating a mindset of self efficacy, and an internal Locus of Control, you are kind of programming yourself to see these very small steps forward rather than interpreting the same situations as obstacles as setbacks. 

We’re seeing the positive impact of our efforts as opposed to the negative, and that’s really powerful. The other thing, the other reason why this is very, very important is that we change our perceptions of ourselves, through our behaviors and through our experiences. To a degree, we have to decide what we want to believe, right? Because we can’t do anything without having some of that. 

But, these decisions are supported by the things you observe yourself doing, and the things you experience is happening. It’s through these behaviors and beliefs that you change your story about who you are, like what kind of person you are and what you are capable of doing, because you are doing it. This is something that Elise and I talked a lot about, and and one of the resources that we mentioned in our conversation was the book, Atomic Habits, by James Clear. 

Fantastic book and he talks a lot about this idea around how our behaviors really do change our self concept over time and that it is through our habits that we practice being the person that we want to be. So, behaviors have a lot of power. The point of that is that just taking action and doing the things that you would like to do, even if you don’t feel completely aligned with it. Just like that drop of water over time, it will change your self concept. 

It changes your ideas of who you are and what you’re capable of, so it’s incredibly powerful. I just offer that because many times with my clients that I see in therapy, or coaching, and Elise has the same experience. There’s this belief in our culture, this myth, that you have to feel positive. You have to want to do something. You have to feel good. You have to believe that you can, before you take action. 

That prevents a lot of people from taking action and therefore, becomes an obstacle to their experiencing themselves in a more empowered way. So just wanted to mention that. Related to that, Elise and I talked a lot about emotions and self efficacy and how they’re not the same thing. Feeling a certain way is not the same thing, and believing in your own power and ability to influence circumstances in your life. 

You don’t have to change the way you feel before taking positive action. You can feel really bad and do the right thing anyway, in every domain of your life. It’s okay to start by taking positive action, because a better emotional state will typically follow. Even if you’re a little dubious that it might, particularly, if you turn things into habits, and so you’ll feel better. Again, as we were talking about a minute ago, we will be changing your self concept in the process. 

I can be afraid and do hard things anyway. When you observe yourself living as a brave person, as evidenced by these behaviors, you become a brave person. It’s really cool, and it’s easier. It’s easier than we think, because it’s really rooted in behavior. Another thing is related to this. We also do need to find a balance between emotional self care and pushing ourselves too hard.

So right now, we’re talking about kind of one side of the coin, believing in yourself, doing hard things anyway, because they’re the right things to do. This also does require sometimes a great deal of discernment, and really like self awareness, to know whether or not the things that we want to do or want to achieve are actually in our best interests, and are actually the correct course of action.

Sometimes, the bravest and wisest and most important thing can actually be taking a step back to reevaluate our circumstances get reconnected with our values. Take a look at our habitual behaviors and our patterns to see and just double check. Are these in alignment with who I want to be? Are these going to carry me to a place that I want? Or have I accumulated over time a series of habits or mindsets that maybe are linked to action? 

Maybe, they’re doing something, but is it the right thing for me, and where it starts to get complicated is that we evolve over time. We change and our values change. The things that are important to us as people change. So, it is also very easy to get into habits, patterns, mindsets, that were very true for us at an earlier period of life, and that served a very positive purpose earlier in life, and that might not any longer. 

The things that were important to me and that carried me forward, and that brought value and meaning into my life in my 20s are extremely different than what is real for me in my 40s. You know what I mean? So, being able to slow down and take stock of that is also a very important part of believing in yourself, because when we’re checking in with ourselves: How do I feel? What do I want? Is this right for me? Where do I want to go? What do I need to do to get there?

When we’re having those conversations with ourselves, we are building trust in ourselves, not just to create positive outcomes, but like any relationship. When we’re asking ourselves, how do we feel? Is it good for you? Are you in the right place? What else could you be doing? What do you need to stop doing? Right? 

It’s like the experience that we have when we have an honest and emotionally intimate conversation with another person. When we feel heard, and understood, and people are being validating and responsive, it builds trust and security. We hope for that in our relationships with others, but genuinely believing in yourself and trusting yourself, requires you to be having those kinds of conversations, and understanding yourself on that level. 

That can be accomplished through things like journaling. It is also a huge component of therapy, or really meaningful coaching is that as you tell somebody like me, how you’re feeling, what you want. I’m asking you questions, kind of elicit that information. You’re not really telling me about those things. I am listening, of course. I’m receptive, but what I’m really doing is giving you the opportunity to hear yourself talk, to be understanding yourself in a different way, as you’re saying things out loud to me. 

So yeah, that’s a lot of the value of personal growth work and cannot be underestimated. So, I would encourage you to be spending time in that space. If your hope is feeling more confident and empowered and able to create positive change does need to be the right change. Then very lastly, the other thing that Elise and I talked about, was this idea that self efficacy is connected to compassionate self understanding. 

Like, we were talking about earlier in our conversation, you do not have to be a positive person. You do not have to feel good. You do not have to know exactly what’s going on. You can not be any of these things that I think we kind of hold as ideals, sometimes in our culture, and it’s related to this. Being an empowered person with a high Locus of Control, who believes in themselves has nothing to do with rejecting or pushing away any negative feelings that might come up for you. 

Through this process, it’s okay to have negative beliefs, to have this little voice in your head that tells you you can’t accomplish your goals, to feel overwhelmed, feel discouraged. Like, that’s all part of the experience. So, we’re not pushing any of that away. It’s about listening to those thoughts and feelings and attending to them compassionately, like understanding why they make sense, understanding where they come from, and also understanding that the things we think and feel don’t need to necessarily control us. 

We can have thoughts. We can have feelings, and we can decide to take various courses of action that are connected to our values and connected to our desired outcomes. That may be different than what our thoughts or feelings are telling us. It’s really that self compassion, that understanding of what are my habitual thoughts. What do I know are those old loops that I play in my head? And what have I learned over time is something that I habitually feel or think that may not actually be true? 

I don’t have to make myself stop thinking that but, I think I’m probably not going to let it control my behavior or my decisions. And then related to this, too, is really making an intentional choice to support yourself or surround yourself, rather, with supportive people who believe in you. The people that are around us, the things that are reflected back to us through our relationships are enormously powerful, and we tend to rise to the level of the people that are around us. 

So, to have people who believe in you, who believe in themselves, who communicate positive expectations of you, who would know that you’re capable of so many things will help you grow in that area and I think also help you develop a more compassionate and really respectful relationship with yourself. Of course, not everybody in our lives was gifted by virtue of their own life experience with that kind of ability that they probably didn’t get the support and compassion that they needed in certain times of their life. 

So maybe, they do have a more negative, self critical mindset that they then kind of project onto others. So, it is also not that we need to reject those people. We can also have compassion for them. But if you spend time with them, do have internal boundaries. Maybe, you’re still with them, and still love them and want to have a relationship with them, but be making kind of empowered decisions about how much influence you would like their perspective to have on your self concept, your life choices. 

If you don’t have a lot of that in your life right now, look for some. We started this episode with the most inspiring music Kutandara here in Boulder, and that is what they’re doing. They’re taking these groups of kids and like, here’s a xylophone, here little xylophone hammer things, and here’s how you do it. Yes, you can. They have that experience of being around supportive people who say, yes, you can. 

We’re going to teach you baby steps, here’s what to do. And then, they have experiences of witnessing other people around them doing it and being successful. They start experiencing themselves as doing it. And then all of a sudden, they’re part of this magnificent group who’s really creating beautiful music, not perfect music. Maybe sometimes, they get there and they don’t feel like doing it, and then they do it anyway. 

But over time, it really does shape their self concept. They feel empowered. They feel stronger. They feel more able, because of what they choose to do. So, I hope that this episode was helpful to you and thank you for rolling with me through the imperfection of this process, but this is what we do. This is what we all do. So, thanks again and I’ll talk to you next time. Bye bye.

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self. She is a licensed psychologist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a board-certified coach, as well as the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Learn more about Dr. Lisa

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self. She is a licensed psychologist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a board-certified coach, as well as the author of "Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love," and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

• 720.370.1800
• Intl 844.331.1993

The Importance of Believing in Yourself (Even When You Don’t)

• August 2, 2019

Share This Post

Most of my work is with young leaders just taking on their first managerial role. They come to me because they are struggling, as almost all young leaders do, and they want me to help them get the skills they need to do their jobs better. They want something quick and clear, a top ten list of items to implement in order to lead effectively. If it were only that easy.

Of course, skills are an important component of managing well, but they are only one component and they are almost never what determines effective leadership. Almost always, the struggle is in the mindset, in the not-yet-full embrace of believing in yourself and your ability to take on this new, challenging role. That is where the real work lies.

THE IMPACT OF BELIEVING IN YOURSELF

Believing in yourself affects everything you do. Everything. From your professional life to your personal life to your solitary life. In your relationship with yourself and in your relationships with others. In the choices you make and in the dreams you dream. How you view yourself, how you measure your value, how you assess your potential and how you determine your worth all combine to create the life you will live.

From your days as a student, the choices you make are determined by your belief in yourself. You choose your classes, your major, your training, your first job, your military branch, not just based on what you think you might enjoy but based on what you think you are capable of and even deserve.

Parents, guidance counselors, friends and neighbors may have influenced your belief in yourself by the judgement and advice they have given you- good, bad or otherwise. By ascribing certain schools as longshots or safeties based on their perception of your ability. By telling you which jobs you were qualified for or had enough experience in.

Sometimes these messages were shared with words like, “that’s a really hard school to get into” or “only the top students are ever chosen for that program.” Other times the message was more of a reaction, a look even, when you told someone you trusted what you wanted and hoped for. Their eyes, their smile, their surprise indicated their support or disbelief. You may be receiving these messages still.

When we internalize the messages we receive, we often give them more weight than we do our own beliefs about ourselves. We start to take on the identity others ascribe to us and make choices based on that identity. We believe the version of ourselves that others project, a version that often reflects their own beliefs in them selves. We let others determine our value and worth. We let others write our stories.

In other cases, we receive great support and encouragement from those around us. We are fortunate to be told, over and over again, that we are valuable and worthy and capable of oh so much. That we can do anything we set our minds to. That the world is ours for the taking and that we can live the life we choose. But then, we reject these messages and raise the voice inside of us that says, “What do you know?”

So wherever you are coming from, whatever messages you have been told, whatever voices you have chosen to listen to, you are in a position today, right this moment to tell yourself that you are worthy and valuable and filled with potential and that you believe in yourself. No matter what anyone else has ever told you, including yourself.

START BELIEVING IN YOURSELF BY BELIEVING IN YOURSELF

Too often we look at others and compare our worth to theirs. Or we look at our past and use it to determine our future. Neither of these has any bearing whatsoever on what your life can be. No matter how successful and talented you deem everyone else to be or how many times you think you have failed, when you believe that the future is whatever you choose to make it, that is exactly what it begins to be.

You will decide what jobs to apply for based on your belief in your ability to secure them and do them well. You will pursue promotions based on your belief that you have earned them and that you are ready for the next level. You will take chances, risks and opportunities based on your belief that they are valuable for your growth and that you are valuable and deserving of them. You will negotiate and ask for raises based on your confidence in doing so and your belief that the money is rightfully yours. You will learn to confront people and situations because being liked by others is far less important to you than being respected and liked by yourself and believing in your strength to do the right thing. You will lead with confidence and vision because you recognize how great you can be, even if your skills are not yet where you would like them to be.

BELIEVING IN YOURSELF STARTS BEGINS AND ENDS WITH YOUR MINDSET

And like everything else, it all starts with your mindset, with the conversations you have with yourself and the messages you choose to believe. You can tell yourself that you are simply not good at something or you can tell yourself that you can get better at anything you dedicate your energy to. You can talk yourself out of applying for a job you want because you think you will never get it, or you can prepare a powerful cover letter explaining why you are a fabulous fit for the position. You can tell yourself that you are just not good at public speaking or confrontation or Microsoft Excel or you can invest in your growth to get better at what will help you shine.

So how do you believe in yourself in moments or even a lifetime when you don’t? Some people will tell you to fake it until you do not have to fake it anymore. If that works for you, then do that. But more than faking it, I think being honest and starting exactly where you are is more effective. When I quite smoking, the most powerful advice I ever received was that all I had to do to quit smoking was to not smoke. Believing in yourself works exactly the same way. If you want to start doing it, you simply need to start doing it.  It is a process and it may be slower and harder than you would prefer., but know that you will get better at it if you choose.

HOW TO BEGIN BELIEVING IN YOURSELF

1) To begin, take some time to write down what you know you are good at. Do not limit yourself to professional skills and don’t put any judgments on your list by labeling things as small or not that important. Write everything you are good at from parallel parking to pushups to making the world’s best pumpkin pie. Say them out loud to yourself. Share them on your social media. Use them to introduce yourself during the next icebreaker. Get in the habit of acknowledging and appreciating your gifts, skills and talents and sharing the news with others. Don’t minimize your gifts and accomplishments. Share them with the world proudly and often. Challenge yourself to come up with 20. And then later on 30. Get yourself up to 100. Or 1000. Just keep going. Keep going until you can say, “damn, I’m really something” and then go on some more.

If it is helpful, ask people you love and trust what they think you are good at. Do not do this before you make your first list and do not do it in lieu of it, but as a supplement to the one you make about yourself. To avoid generic or surface answers, phrase the questions as, “what would you hire me to do?” or “what would you pay me to do?” This will allow people in your life to think about what skills are most obvious and impressive to them. Add them to your list, even if you’re not quite ready to embrace them.

2) After you make your list, write down three moments in your life, from any point, where you have felt proud of something you did or said or accomplished. Again, don’t judge or diminish these. Be honest and take the time to remember them. What about these moments made you proud? How does it feel remembering them? What gifts and values were you accessing during them? How can you capture these feelings again and again and again? Add to your list as you remember more and more moments. Come up with three more and three more and three more after that. Share these moments with people you love, with your team at work, with your boss. Make them a part of your story. Share them with pride. Open the door for others to do the same.

3) Finally, make a list of statements or affirmations that are both true and maybe a little bit of a stretch for you. Statements like:

I am ________________________________________

I know I can _________________________________

I deserve ____________________________________

I am proud of ________________________________

I am capable of _______________________________

I believe that I _______________________________

I will _______________________________________

Come up with different prompts and different answers each time. Or repeat them as they are salient for you. Add more. Or do the same ones over and over again. Practice saying them out loud to yourself, in the mirror if it helps. Email them or text them to yourself. Put them somewhere you can see them. Be creative and try different ways to incorporate them into your life. Notice where you feel good and where you feel uncomfortable. Spend some time reflecting on why.  Make it a habit. Push through when it feels slow or hard. Just keep on going. Whatever you do, don’t ever stop reminding yourself of who you are.

BELIEVING IN YOURSELF DOESN’T MEAN IGNORING CHALLENGES

To my naysayers and those who are used to focusing on what they believe to be wrong and in need of fixing, rest assured that believing in yourself does not in any way necessitate a delusion of self or a pretension of perfection. We all have our struggles and challenges. The reason I am advocating for this focus and dedication solely on strengths and self-belief is that too many of us already spend far too much time focusing on that which we feel we lack. Too often, those around us, both personally and professionally focus on these things too. I am not the least bit concerned that you are not spending enough time on these areas. In fact, my heart breaks when I think about how much you probably do.

So start doing something different. Start believing in yourself. Right this minute. I promise, if you keep at it and learn to fully embrace your own potential, you will begin to live a life you enjoy and are proud of. I believe in you. Now go start believing in yourself!   

*********************************************************************

If you would like additional support in believing in yourself as a leader, click the picture below to check out our courses that are designed to help you do just that. 

Some other posts you may like

Important Questions to Ask Yourself As a Leader

Being a leader is a great privilege that brings with it great responsibility. As a leader, you are often the first

3 Myths About Impostor Syndrome That Are Holding You Back

5 Benefits to Impostor Syndrome

Two weeks into a new job, my boss voluntold me that I would be speaking before our City Council to

Leave a Reply

2 responses.

• Pingback: Hurry Up and Wait: Balancing Patience and Impatience When It Comes to Your Goals
• Pingback: BELIEVE IN YOURSELF | Cherished Insight

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Subscribe to our free monthly newsletter

No spam, notifications only about new posts, and news.

We're very excited to announce the opening of The Supervisor's Circle, a resource-driven virtual community where managers can learn the skills needed to be more effective leaders

Speech on Believe In Yourself

Believing in yourself is like unlocking a secret superpower. It’s the key to reaching your goals and dreams.

When you trust your abilities, you become unstoppable. So, let’s explore why it’s important to believe in yourself.

1-minute Speech on Believe In Yourself

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I stand before you today to speak on a topic that is as simple as it is profound, ‘Believe In Yourself.’ Yes, this is an idea, a notion, a spark that can ignite a revolution within your world, shaping the trajectory of your life.

Each one of us has dreams, goals, objectives, and aspirations. However, more often than not, we find ourselves doubting our abilities or strengths. We question if we are capable enough to achieve our dreams. But remember, every great achiever, every successful individual started with two things – a dream and the belief in their ability to accomplish that dream.

Believing in ourselves is not about being overconfident or disregarding the advice and opinions of others. Instead, it is about having faith in our potential, trusting our journey, and understanding our worth. It’s about knowing that we are more than capable of overcoming the obstacles that life throws at us.

The road to our dreams may not always be easy. There may be twists and turns, failures and setbacks. But it’s our self-belief that acts as a guiding light, illuminating our path even in the darkest of times. It gives us the courage to push forward, to get up every time we fall, to learn from our mistakes and to never stop trying.

In conclusion, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to say – believe in yourself, even when no one else does. Trust in your abilities, even when the world doubts you. Remember, you are your most significant supporter and your most cruel critic. The power to achieve your dreams lies within you. So stand tall, dream big, believe in yourself, and watch as the world unfolds its magic before you.

2-minute Speech on Believe In Yourself

Today I’m here to speak on a topic that may sound simple but is incredibly profound – ‘Believe in Yourself’. This phrase might appear as a cliché in the world of motivational speeches, but its depth and impact on our lives are undeniable.

Belief in oneself is the very crux of our existence. Without it, we are like a rudderless ship in a stormy sea. Believing in yourself means acknowledging your own capabilities, understanding your strengths, and having faith in your own decisions. It’s about trusting yourself enough to take that leap of faith.

Just imagine a world where Thomas Edison did not believe he could create the light bulb, where the Wright brothers did not believe they could make a plane fly or a world where Bill Gates did not believe in his vision of a computer in every home. These people achieved greatness because they believed in themselves and their vision, even when the world was skeptical.

What makes this belief so important? When we believe in ourselves, we set the stage for continuous growth and learning. It enables us to overcome the fear of failure, because we understand that failure is not a dead end, but a stepping stone to success. Self-belief empowers us to take risks and to venture into unknown territories with courage and confidence.

However, we often let self-doubt creep in, undermining our self-belief. We start questioning our abilities and skills. We let the opinions of others sway us, and we allow failure to dampen our spirit. This self-doubt acts like a chain, holding us back and preventing us from achieving our full potential.

How then, can we cultivate and strengthen this belief in ourselves? Firstly, we need to acknowledge our achievements, no matter how small they might seem. We must celebrate our victories, for they are the testament of our capabilities. Secondly, we must not let our failures define us. Instead, we should learn from them and use these lessons to grow. Lastly, we must surround ourselves with positivity, with people who support and believe in us.

In the end, ladies and gentlemen, the truth is that the only person who can truly hinder your journey to success is yourself. So, believe in yourself, your dreams, your abilities and your potential. Have the courage to trust your own decisions, to make mistakes and learn from them.

In the words of the great American poet, E.E. Cummings, “Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”

So, with this, I urge each one of you, to believe in who you are, believe in where you want to be and believe that you possess the strength within you to make your dreams come true. And remember, to believe in yourself is the first secret to success.

• Speech on Atal Bihari Vajpayee
• Speech on Student Council
• Speech on Sports Captain

We also have speeches on more interesting topics that you may want to explore.

One Comment

It’s a very motivated speech script thanks

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

The Wise Believer

Personal & Spiritual Growth

Believing In Yourself Is Hard

I had enough. This time for sure I was going to do it. I took my iPad, opened the notes app, and started typing. I was finally going to write and publish my first article online. The ideas were flowing. With 300 to 400 words, I paused to proofread it, and then it happened! I became paralyzed by fear. I started to think that what I wrote was not going to be valuable to anyone else. So sadly I deleted it and went back to doing what I was comfortable with. 

Many articles later, I still remember how hard it was to believe in myself and I know others feel the same. Seemingly confident people often talk about how fear is holding you back and that you should take a leap of faith, but while it may sound simple, believing in yourself is harder than it seems. I haven’t forgotten this struggle, so in this article, I want to share 3 things I learned that have and continue to help me develop my confidence. I hope they help you too.

Belief Is Developed Over Time By Hearing The Right Things

The first thing I want you to know is that belief is developed over time by hearing the right things. I remember the moment I read something that was the last push I needed to execute an idea I had for years. It came out of a book called The Personal MBA. At the beginning of the book, the author defined what a business was in simple terms. At the time I was reading it, I had already completed my associate’s and bachelor’s degree in business-related majors and as you might have guessed, I was considering an MBA. Although I probably heard the definition of a business throughout school, this time a lightbulb turned on. Instantly I stopped reading and began working on a prototype for the idea I had.

It was a similar pattern to other things I was initially afraid of but eventually did. It’s as if each piece of related information nudges you closer towards taking action. If you aren’t already filling your mind with content related to your goals, start. I’ve come to learn that it is a key part of believing in yourself. When regularly consuming the right content, you may not feel like it’s making any difference, but trust that a mental shift is happening. In one of those sessions, whether it be an article, seminar, or conversation your confidence will be activated and you’ll take action.

Believing In God Depends On Hearing Also

The Bible also mentions how belief comes by hearing the right things. In discussing how people could ever come to believe in God, Paul says: “faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. (Romans 10:17 NKJV)” In another place, referring to the same subject, Paul warns that “We must pay the most careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away. (Hebrews 2:1 NIV)” As you can see, the content we consume is critical to developing our belief. This is not only true for believing in God but also for believing in ourselves. So listen to faith-building content. Little by little, it builds your confidence and eventually leads you to take action.

People Don’t See Us The Way We See Ourselves

Have you ever noticed that it’s easier to believe in other people than it is to believe in ourselves? It seems like whenever we tell someone about our dreams and goals they cheer us on, believing we have what it takes to do it. We tell others the same, but when they tell us doubt tends to kick in. I’ve realized that the reason people tell us that we can do it, while we don’t see it for ourselves is that people don’t see us the way we see ourselves.

I’m not sure why this is the case, but realizing that this is the reality takes the pressure off. This realization is what helped me move forward with writing. During conversations with coworkers and friends, they would mention how valuable my insight was to them or would often say that they learned something useful every time we spoke. After hearing this so much from different people, it opened my eyes to the fact that while I may think lightly of my knowledge and experiences, others didn’t. This realization strengthened my confidence and led me to create The Wise Believer to share those insights with the world.

The Israelites Saw Others As Stronger

In the biblical story of the Israelites being on the verge of entering the promised land, we also witness what is a historical challenge of seeing ourselves as less than we are. In summary, 12 representatives were tasked with spying out the promised land to attack it. When they came back to give their report, the majority of them made comments such as “We can’t attack those people; they are stronger than we are” and “we seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them.” (read the full story in Numbers 13).

The spies mentioned how other people were stronger than they were and described themselves as grasshoppers in comparison. But did the spies ask the people of the land how they saw them? I doubt it, after all, they were in their land as spies! As the story goes, that group of people never got to enter the promised land. Let the fact that people don’t see you as you see yourself give you the confidence you need to take the next step.

We Now Do Things We Once Believed We Couldn’t Do

Lastly, recognize that you now do things you once believed you couldn’t do. We all have things we didn’t think we could do but eventually did. With those things conquered we move on to the next thing often taking for granted the initial difficulty. It’s a cycle that we all go through. By understanding this, you can shorten the fear period, knowing it will eventually be something you are comfortable with.

I’m sure you can remember that one thing you were afraid of doing and now doing it is a piece of cake. An example for me is giving a presentation to the youth group at my church. The first time I was asked to share a lesson with my peers I only had the confidence to do a part of an existing one. In time, I was able to share an entire lesson on my own and now can share one spontaneously. Delivering the sermon to the entire church was similar. The first time I delivered one part of three, and now I deliver an entire sermon regularly. Not sure if and when I’ll be able to do one spontaneously though (believe in yourself Moses!). This leads me to the final point of this section.

Believing Is An Ongoing Challenge

Believing in yourself is an ongoing challenge. I’m sure if you ask some millionaires if they think they’ll be a billionaire someday, some of them would doubt. It’s a journey. Conquering one thing builds your confidence to conquer the next thing. Just like David first fought off bears and lions before believing he could defeat Goliath, you’ll eventually be taking on the Goliaths in your life although you may still be afraid of the bears and lions.

Final Thoughts

I hope these 3 things I’ve learned about believing in yourself helps you on your journey in developing confidence. It’s not easy, but You Have What It Takes .

Author Moses Pierre-Paul

View all posts by Moses Pierre-Paul

6 replies to Believing In Yourself Is Hard

Great article Moses! Thanks for sharing. We all need this reminder!

Thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed it!

Very wise and encouraging read Moses!

Thanks for reading Victoria! Glad to know it encouraged you!

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Home — Essay Samples — Life — Believe in Myself — Believe in Myself to Achieve Your Goals

Believe in Myself to Achieve Your Goals

• Categories: Believe in Myself Career Goals Personal Goals

About this sample

Words: 946 |

Published: May 24, 2022

Words: 946 | Pages: 2 | 5 min read

Cite this Essay

Let us write you an essay from scratch

• 450+ experts on 30 subjects ready to help
• Custom essay delivered in as few as 3 hours

Get high-quality help

Verified writer

• Expert in: Life

+ 120 experts online

By clicking “Check Writers’ Offers”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy . We’ll occasionally send you promo and account related email

No need to pay just yet!

Related Essays

2 pages / 1053 words

4 pages / 1619 words

2 pages / 1040 words

1 pages / 603 words

Remember! This is just a sample.

You can get your custom paper by one of our expert writers.

121 writers online

Still can’t find what you need?

Browse our vast selection of original essay samples, each expertly formatted and styled

Related Essays on Believe in Myself

Loving myself is important to my life because, through self-love, I learn who I am. Loving myself has always been a key part of my life. Even if at some point in my life I didn’t love myself. Being able to love myself had its [...]

Growing up I always loved going to school. As a child growing up in an Nigerian household education has always been a priority. My experience in primary school was a good one. I always stayed out and trouble and did my homework [...]

In the past sixteen years I have faced various challenges that have molded my personality to as it is today. I went through a very tough stage in my social life when I was in grade seven and eight at the age of twelve and [...]

In The Garden of the Finzi-Continis by Giorgio Bassani, the narrator is a young Jewish man living in Fascist Italy prior to World War II. As more racial laws become implemented in Italy, he develops a deeper relationship with [...]

In his essay "Self-Reliance," Ralph Waldo Emerson often radiates an arrogant and self-important tone, writing, for example, “A great man is coming to eat at my house. I do not wish to please him; I wish that he should wish to [...]

In a world run by major corporations, it is not uncommon to find one’s self in a position of very little control, even over one’s own life. This feeling caused by lack of power and the other grieves of life sometimes brings [...]

Related Topics

By clicking “Send”, you agree to our Terms of service and Privacy statement . We will occasionally send you account related emails.

Where do you want us to send this sample?

By clicking “Continue”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy.

Be careful. This essay is not unique

This essay was donated by a student and is likely to have been used and submitted before

Download this Sample

Free samples may contain mistakes and not unique parts

Sorry, we could not paraphrase this essay. Our professional writers can rewrite it and get you a unique paper.

Please check your inbox.

We can write you a custom essay that will follow your exact instructions and meet the deadlines. Let's fix your grades together!

Get Your Personalized Essay in 3 Hours or Less!

We use cookies to personalyze your web-site experience. By continuing we’ll assume you board with our cookie policy .

• Instructions Followed To The Letter
• Deadlines Met At Every Stage
• Unique And Plagiarism Free

25,000+ students realised their study abroad dream with us. Take the first step today

Meet top uk universities from the comfort of your home, here’s your new year gift, one app for all your, study abroad needs, start your journey, track your progress, grow with the community and so much more.

Verification Code

An OTP has been sent to your registered mobile no. Please verify

Thanks for your comment !

Our team will review it before it's shown to our readers.

• School Education /

Essay on Myself: 100 Words, 250 Words and 300 Words

• Updated on  
• Mar 12, 2024

Every Individual is different from each other and it is important to self-analyze and know about yourself. Only you can know everything about yourself. But, when it comes to describing yourself in front of others many students fail to do so. This happens due to the confusion generated by a student’s mind regarding what things to include in their description. This confusion never arises when someone is told to give any opinion about others. This blog will help students and children resolve the confusion and it also includes an essay on myself. 

While writing an “essay on myself” you should have a unique style so that the reader would engage in your essay. It’s important to induce the urge to know about you in the reader then only you can perform well in your class. I would suggest you include your qualities, strengths, achievements, interests, and passion in your essay. Continue Reading for Essays on myself for children and students!

Quick Read: Speech on Earth Day

[powerkit_toc title=”This Blog Includes:”]

Quick Read: English Essay Topics

Long and Short Essay on Myself for Students

Mentioned below are essays on myself with variable word limits. You can choose the essay that you want to present in your class. These essays are drafted in simple language so that school students can easily understand. In addition, the main point to remember while writing an essay on myself is to be honest. Your honesty will help you connect with the reader.

Tell me about yourself is also one of the most important questions asked in the interview process. Therefore, this blog is very helpful for people who want to learn about how to write an essay on myself.

Tips to Write Essay on Myself

Given below are some tips to write an essay on myself:

• Prepare a basic outline of what to include in the essay about yourself.
• Stick to the structure to maintain fluency.
• Be honest to build a connection with the reader.
• Use simple language.
• Try to include a crisp and clear conclusion.

100 Words Essay on Myself

I am a dedicated person with an urge to learn and grow. My name is Rakul, and I feel life is a journey that leads to self-discovery. I belong to a middle-class family, my father is a handloom businessman, and my mother is a primary school teacher .

I have learned punctuality and discipline are the two wheels that drive our life on a positive path. My mother is my role model. I am passionate about reading novels. When I was younger, my grandmother used to narrate stories about her life in the past and that has built my interest towards reading stories and novels related to history.

Overall I am an optimistic person who looks forward to life as a subject that teaches us values and ways to live for the upliftment of society.

Also Read: Speech on Discipline

250 Words Essay on Myself

My name is Ayushi Singh but my mother calls me “Ayu”. I turned 12 years old this August and I study in class 7th. I have an elder sister named Aishwarya. She is like a second mother to me. I have a group of friends at school and out of them Manvi is my best friend. She visits my house at weekends and we play outdoor games together. I believe in her and I can share anything with her.

Science and technology fascinate me so I took part in an interschool science competition in which my team of 4 girls worked on a 3-D model of the earth representing past, present, and future. It took us a week to finish off the project and we presented the model at Ghaziabad school. We were competing against 30 teams and we won the competition.

I was confident and determined about the fact that we could win because my passion helped me give my 100% input in the task. Though I have skills in certain subjects I don’t have to excel in everything, I struggle to perform well in mathematics . And to enhance my problem-solving skills I used to study maths 2 hours a day. 

I wanted to become a scientist, and being punctual and attentive are my characteristics as I never arrive late for school. Generally, I do my work on my own so that I inculcate the value of being an independent person. I always help other people when they are in difficult situations. 

Also Read: Essay on the Importance of the Internet

10 Lines on Myself Essay for Children

Here are 10 lines on myself essay for children. Feel free to add them to similar essay topics.

• My name is Ananya Rathor and I am 10 years old.
• I like painting and playing with my dog, Todo.
• Reading animal books is one of my favourite activities.
• I love drawing and colouring to express my imagination.
• I always find joy in spending time outdoors, feeling the breeze on my face.
• I love dancing to Indian classical music.
• I’m always ready for an adventure, whether it’s trying a new hobby or discovering interesting facts.
• Animals are my friends, and I enjoy spending time with pets or observing nature’s creatures.
• I am a very kind person and I respect everyone.
• All of my school teachers love me.

300 Words Essay on Myself

My name is Rakul. I believe that every individual has unique characteristics which distinguish them from others. To be unique you must have an extraordinary spark or skill. I live with my family and my family members taught me to live together, adjust, help others, and be humble. Apart from this, I am an energetic person who loves to play badminton.

I have recently joined Kathak classes because I have an inclination towards dance and music, especially folk dance and classical music. I believe that owing to the diversity of our country India, it offers us a lot of opportunities to learn and gain expertise in various sectors.

My great-grandfather was a classical singer and he also used to play several musical instruments. His achievements and stories have inspired me to learn more about Indian culture and make him proud. 

I am a punctual and studious person because I believe that education is the key to success. Academic excellence could make our careers shine bright. Recently I secured second position in my class and my teachers and family members were so proud of my achievement. 

I can manage my time because my mother taught me that time waits for no one. It is important to make correct use of time to succeed in life. If we value time, then only time will value us. My ambition in life is to become a successful gynaecologist and serve for human society.

Hence, these are the qualities that describe me the best. Though no one can present themselves in a few words still I tried to give a brief about myself through this essay. In my opinion, life is meant to be lived with utmost happiness and an aim to serve humanity. Thus, keep this in mind, I will always try to help others and be the best version of myself.

Also Read: Essay on Education System

A. Brainstorm Create a format Stick to the format Be vulnerable Be honest Figure out what things to include Incorporate your strengths, achievements, and future goals into the essay

A. In an essay, you can use words like determined, hardworking, punctual, sincere, and objective-oriented to describe yourself in words.

A. Use simple and easy language. Include things about your family, career, education, and future goals. Lastly, add a conclusion paragraph.

This was all about an essay on myself. The skill of writing an essay comes in handy when appearing for standardized language tests. Thinking of taking one soon? Leverage Live provides the best online test prep for the same. Register today and if you wish to study abroad then contact our experts at 1800572000 .

Kajal Thareja

Hi, I am Kajal, a pharmacy graduate, currently pursuing management and is an experienced content writer. I have 2-years of writing experience in Ed-tech (digital marketing) company. I am passionate towards writing blogs and am on the path of discovering true potential professionally in the field of content marketing. I am engaged in writing creative content for students which is simple yet creative and engaging and leaves an impact on the reader's mind.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Contact no. *

i need a descriptive essay about myself of 210-250 words

Connect With Us

25,000+ students realised their study abroad dream with us. Take the first step today.

Resend OTP in

Need help with?

Study abroad.

UK, Canada, US & More

IELTS, GRE, GMAT & More

Scholarship, Loans & Forex

Country Preference

New Zealand

Which English test are you planning to take?

Which academic test are you planning to take.

Not Sure yet

When are you planning to take the exam?

Already booked my exam slot

Within 2 Months

Want to learn about the test

Which Degree do you wish to pursue?

When do you want to start studying abroad.

January 2024

September 2024

What is your budget to study abroad?

How would you describe this article ?

Please rate this article

We would like to hear more.

Have something on your mind?

Make your study abroad dream a reality in January 2022 with

India's Biggest Virtual University Fair

Essex Direct Admission Day

Why attend .

Don't Miss Out